Work Text:
" I wish " Arthur says " that I could come with you ".
" You're the King, Arthur " Merlin replies softly. " You cannot go on the battlefield anymore. The people need you ".
" I know " says Arthur, throat tight.
Of course he knows, and that's why he doesn't go, even when all the fibers of his being scream at him to follow Merlin. He tugs him into an embrace instead, rests their forehead together.
" I need you safe " he murmurs against his lover's skin.
Merlin kisses him softly, but doesn't respond. As it is, it's a promise he cannot make.
" Merlin " Arthur says, and his hands tighten on Merlin's waist. " Promise me. Promise that you will come back to me ".
Merlin swallows painfully. For a second, Arthur sees a whisper of gold in Merlin's eyes, but dismisses it as a trick of the light.
" I promise " Merlin says, and he means it. " Whatever the cost. "
***
When Merlin comes back, he's in chains.
" He's a sorcerer " says one knight.
" He used magic " says another.
" We all saw him " says a third.
Arthur sways as his gaze falls.
" You must be lying " he says with a frown.
He sees their faces, he hears their whispers. He knows very well they're not. He looks at the man who's kneeling in front of him.
" Clearly you're mistaken " he says.
The prisoner doesn't meet his eyes and his throat constrict. It's painful but hardly a concern ; the sting of betrayal is so much worse.
" Take off his chains " he orders, " and bring him to my chambers ".
He looks at Merlin and wants to cry, he notices the stiff shoulders and wants to scream, he takes in that he's alive and wants to kiss him. All that he can't do ; he's a sorcerer, the people wouldn't understand.
" But Sire, he could kill you " says a knight.
" He's dangerous " says another.
" We can't trust him " says a third.
Arthur looks at them and there's anger in his eyes.
" He's been my servant for five years " he says with a tilt of his chin.
He gets their distrust, he understands their concern. He knows they can't see what he sees. He doesn't look at Merlin again.
" If he wanted me dead " he says " I would've died long ago ".
He turns on his heels and walks away.
" To my chambers " he orders, " now ".
***
" So you're a sorcerer " Arthur says.
" I am " Merlin answers.
" And you have magic "Arthur adds.
" I am magic " Merlin answers.
" Since when ? " Arthur asks.
" Since I was born " Merlin replies.
He looks the king in the eyes but Arthur can see him shaking.
" Why now ? " Arthur asks.
Merlin looks away then, and his voice softens :
" I promised to find a way back to you " he says " and this was the only one ".
" So you betrayed me ".
Merlin's skin pales at the words.
" I did never... "
" You lied to me " Arthur says.
Merlin blanches. His lips press into a thin trembling line.
" I did not tell you the entire truth " he concedes.
" You did not trust me ".
The last statement is the worst, and there are tears in the eyes of both men.
" I did. I couldn't. I tried. "
" Did you think I would kill you ? "
Merlin doesn't meet his gaze.
" Magic is outlawed in Camelot " Arthur says.
" I know ".
" Sorcerers are sentenced to death " Arthur says.
" I know ".
Merlin finally meets his eyes. Tears are screaming down his cheeks. He's kneeling but doesn't try to stand.
Instead, he says :
" If this was your choice, then I would ".
His voice is cracking and Arthur doesn't understand.
So he says again :
" If your choice is to sentence me to death, then I will burn ".
Arthur eyes are wide. He recovers quickly.
" But you could get away ".
He doesn't even hesitate to give his answer.
" Yes ".
" And you would not ? "
" I wouldn't. "
" Why ? "
" My life is yours. It's only fair for my death to be, too ".
" You do not belong to me " Arthur shivers " not like this ".
" I'm your servant " Merlin says.
" You're my lover " Arthur answers.
" It' doesn't matter " Merlin says.
" You're the man I wanted as my husband " Arthur says, and Merlin cries.
Arthur understands but does not take back the use of the past.
" All this time " he asks " has the man I loved been a lie ? "
" No. No, no, no, Gods, it wasn't ".
Merlin is swaying as a leaf in the cold wind ; a few words would be enough to make him lost.
" Why are you here " Arthur demands instead, " is it because of destiny ? "
" That's why I came " Merlin answers.
" I don't want you " Arthur says, and Merlin breaks.
" Not like this " Arthur then says, and Merlin blinks. " It has to be your choice ".
" Destiny is why I came " Merlin then says " but it is not why I stayed ".
" Why did you stay ? "
Merlin's voice is soft when he answers, barely a whisper :
" Love " he says.
" Do you love me ? " Arthur asks.
" That's why I came back " Merlin answers.
" Did you enchant me ? " Arthur asks.
Merlin's eyes widen in fear and then he says :
" I would never... "
And it's enough for Arthur. It's enough. He kneels.
" Then nothing's changed " he says, even if everything did.
" But I won't be your husband " Merlin says, and it's like seeing a sparkle of hope flickering across his face.
" You'll be my consort " Arthur answers, and kisses him softly.
Merlin gasps and his hands curl into fists, not sure if he's allowed, not certain if he can...
" I won't push you away " Arthur whispers.
And only then Merlin lets himself fall and he cries, sobs wrecking his ribcage, forehead resting on Arthur shoulders, Arthur's lips a soothing touch on his temple.
" I love you " he says, and that's the only truth that matters.
And Arthur knows then, he knows that everything will be all right again.