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The sound of shrieking awakens the couple from what they had hoped to be a peaceful night. Foolish of them, yes, but their months-old baby son, Max, had been awake and playing happily with his older brother, Rafael, for hours that day. When Magnus and Alec had put him to bed just two hours ago, he went out like a light and so they had gone to bed with the expectation of a long, undisturbed sleep for the first time in what felt like months.
But now the familiar crying echoes down the hallway like an alarm, through their always-open door, and into their bedroom. The two of them sit up quickly from where they had been tangled together in sleep and Magnus looks over at a tired-looking Alec, offering him an equally as tired smile.
“I’ll get him. My turn.”
Alec nods absently as he slowly sinks back down into the soft mattress, drifting back off in seconds. Magnus, of course, feels envious, but he gets up nonetheless, stopping on his way out to press a kiss to the Shadowhunter’s cheek.
He walks quickly to the dreaded room. They had recently given Max his own room after he had finally stopped crying the night away while sleeping in their room. When they had told Maryse, she told them that, once a baby gets used to sleeping with its parents, it needs to learn how to self-settle itself by sleeping in its own room. She said that’s what she had done with all of her children after a few months, with Alec a whole year, but they still had been unsure at first, not wanting to distance themselves from their baby. After a blissfully full, 6 hour night of sleep, however, they decided to give it a try, believing he might be okay on his own after all. They had been wrong.
So now instead of leaning over to the crib next to their bed and getting him back to sleep in somewhat comfort, they have to take shifts in running down the hallway in the middle of the night.
Magnus enters the small, colourful room, painted by him and Rafe one afternoon when Magnus finished with a client early, and decorated with a various assortment of Max’s favourite teddy’s and toys; and picks his son up from his crib. Looking at him cradled in his arms, mouth wide open, crying loudly, Magnus desperately searches his mind for a song to sing to him.
While Alec is usually one to hum their child to sleep or nestle him close until he nods off, Magnus always sings. He has no memory of his mother singing to him, definitely not his step-father, and really, if she did the memory was lost like almost every other to the image of her lifeless body, so he thinks it comes from him always longing for words of comfort to calm him as a child, alone and afraid of his powers after what people who were supposed to love him unconditionally had done.
It had been centuries, but Magnus still remembers that feeling of needing someone, especially after what had happened with his parents so long ago. He doesn’t like to think about it, but having an immortal baby warlock, a child he never believed he would ever have in all his centuries, makes all of these emotions arise in him. He will never allow Max to feel as lost and alone as he did. He wants him to always know that his family is here for him for as long as they are together and Magnus will be there ever after...without Alec or Rafe.
A song suddenly comes to mind and Magnus smiles wistfully down at the crying child.
He rocks Max back and forth in his arms then begins to sing.
Close your eyes, lay your head down
Now it's time to sleep
May you find great adventure
As you lie and dream
If you're scared of the darkness
I will calm your fear
There's a light in the hallway
So you know I'm here
The sudden silence and small smile on Max’s little blue face are enough to make Magnus gasp with a growing smile. He means every word of this damn song, sue him if he believes his little blueberry understands what he is saying. Besides, it's never this easy to quiet him down.
So count your blessings every day
It makes the monsters go away
And everything will be okay
You are not alone
You are right at home
Goodnight, goodnight
Magnus breathes a little uneasily, holding Max tighter, the surrounding silence making the lyrics of the song echo with meaning through his head. He pictures himself as a child, desperate and alone in the darkness of the streets of his country. No home, desperate for love. He had nothing to make his monsters leave him alone, but those toilsome feelings wouldn’t touch his son because he has a home, will always have a home, whether it be with Alec, Magnus, and Rafe now; or the memory of all of them years from now.
He continues, softly, despite the fact that Max is already back to sleep, head nestled against Magnus’ bare chest.
You won't need me forever
But I'll still be here
For we all have our nightmares
Even me, my dear
From now on, if you need me
You can sing this song
There's a light in the hallway
Burning all night long
Magnus thinks of the future. Max won’t need him forever. Like Magnus, he will go off into the world and learn things by himself as a way to cope with the deteriorating world around him, but Magnus will be there for him when it’s all too much. And there is a certain comfort in that knowledge for Magnus himself, having had to come to terms with his immortality on his own. He eventually had Catarina and dear Ragnor, but back then he thought of how much easier it would have been with a family.
So count your blessings every day
It makes the monsters go away
And everything will be okay
You are not alone
You are right at home
Goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight
He finishes the last ‘goodnight’ breathlessly, a small smile overcoming him when he looks down at his little baby. He leans down to plant a kiss on his forehead then slowly places him back down in his crib.
He doesn’t realise he is stuck in a daze above Max’s crib, staring down at his blissfully at-peace face of innocence, until he feels a hand on his arm and looks over his shoulder. Alec is standing there, a soft smile accompanying his tear-stained cheeks and Magnus doesn’t even hesitate before pulling him into his arms. He feels his own eyes water.
“He’ll be okay for a long time,” Alec whispers, blinking back tears.
Magnus looks up at him and nods. “He’ll have us.”
“And then you’ll have each other,” Alec smiles. The thought brings the mortal Shadowhunter comfort. Their son will never have to face the world alone. His wonderful father will always be there. Always.
The immortal man lets out a soft sob as he buries his face in his Alexander’s shoulder, holding him tight while he still can.
“I know.”