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For some reason, kids love Kirishima. It doesn’t matter what he does, they’re completely delighted by him – and he’s completely delighted by them. He’ll make faces, do weird sounds, or melt all over some wrinkly baby, with Bakugou standing at a safe distance from the weird thing. He’ll watch the scene and tell himself that it’s not worth getting jealous over some small, smelly, poop dumpster.
They probably only like Kirishima because of his hair. It looks like clown hair. Kids love clowns, right? Bakugou always hated clowns, but on the other hand, he never was a stupid baby. Well, he was a baby at some point, but he was never stupid. His mom told him how he was a biter, but he’s not sure what that was supposed to mean. Kirishima did, because apparently he’s the fucking baby whisperer or some bullshit, and exchanged meaningful looks with his mom.
Fucking worst.
When Uraraka announces her pregnancy, a proud-like-a-cockatoo Iida standing next to her, it’s like Kirishima got glued to her. He did everything with her, starting with getting furniture for the ugly wrinkle monster, up to preparing her baby shower. Whenever Iida had no time and couldn’t be around, Kirishima was there – and Bakugou was too, because no way he’s going to share his boyfriend with some stupid fetus without a fight.
Nine exasperated months later, they get a call at 3 A in the fucking M. It’s time. All the way to the hospital, Kirishima’s shaking with excitement. Bakugou’s trying not to blast the steering wheel to bits.
Just like expected, the baby’s pretty damn ugly. A mess of wrinkles, with stubby fingers and no hand-eye-coordination whatsoever. Bakugou stares at the little thing, while Kirishima walks over to Uraraka, placing a gentle kiss on her sweaty forehead. Ew.
“Tenya will be here soon,” she explains. “I almost couldn’t understand him on the phone, he was crying so badly. Katsuki, could you bring her to me? I want to hold her again.”
Bakugou stares at the human-shaped bean laying in her plastic crib. Awkwardly, he reaches out to lift her up – the thing immediately starts to screech like a car siren.
“Hair-for-brains,” he presses between tight lips, not daring to put the baby down, until Kirishima carefully takes her from him. The girl calms down, lightly chortling in the redhead’s arms.
He beams up at Bakugou. “Holy shit! I finally found something I’m better in than you!”
The blonde offers him a wary glance. “Holding things that look like humanoid cabbages… wow, that’s great.”
Kirishima ignores the comment and carries the baby over to her waiting mother. Bakugou watches him from a safe distance. He can’t help but notice the way the redhead’s face lights up when he looks at children, when he talks to them, when he gets ugly drawn pictures from them.
Bakugou doesn’t like children, but he likes Kirishima, a lot actually; more than he dislikes those wrinkle beans.
Who knows, maybe they’re not that bad after all. But only maybe.