Work Text:
This is a story about a man named Stanley. Stanley worked for a company in a big building where he was known as Employee number 427. Employee number 427's job was simple: He sat in room 427 and pressed buttons on a keyboard. Orders came to him through a monitor on his desk telling him what buttons to push, how long to push them and in what order. This is what Employee number 427 did every day of every month of every year, and while others might consider it soul rending, Stanley relished every moment that an order came in as though he had been made exactly for this job. And Stanley was happy.
And then one day something very peculiar happened. Something that would forever change Stanley; something he would never quite forget. He had been at his desk for nearly an hour when he realised that not one single order had appeared on his monitor for him to follow. No one had shown up to give him instructions, call a meeting or to even say 'hi'. Never in all his years at the company had this happened, this complete isolation. Something was very clearly wrong. Shocked, frozen solid, Stanley found himself unable to move for the longest time. But as he regained his wits and came to his senses, he stood up from his desk and stepped out of his office.
How wonderful! Stanley was alone! Finally! 'This is great,' Stanley thought, “this is what I've wanted all along. I've got what I've always wanted.' No matter how hard Stanley looked he couldn't find any of his co-workers. Eventually Stanley decided to look in the meeting room, perhaps there had been a memo that he had missed. When Stanley came to a room with two open doors he took the one on the left. Stanley took the door on the right. This was not the way to the meeting room and Stanley knew that very well. Perhaps he had decided to take a detour and have a look at the Employee Lounge.
Yes, it was well worth coming here to the Employee Lounge, Stanley wondered what it was about this room that attracted him so, was it the atmosphere? The arrangement? No Stanley knew it was something deeper... something... darker.
For a while Stanley simply stood and looked around at the magnificent room and then he took a seat to really experience the room. Even though everyone else in the building had disappeared Stanley felt it was well worth it to come and take a break in this truly sublime room. Stanley felt so relaxed that he loosened his tie and started unbutton his... Stanley put his shirt back on and left the room immediately! Stanley did not also unzip his pants!
What are you doing Stanley? Stop That!
Stanley started to engage in an activity that was highly inappropriate for an office environment even when everyone else in the office appeared to be missing.
Stanley, I do not approve of this at all and that is not an acceptable use of office equipment not to mention... wait... are you responding to my voice?!
Stanley is not turned on by the narrator's voice!
That's it I am not going to encourage this any further, I'm just going to stop talking!
You actually stopped? I wasn't expectin- That wasn't permission to start again!
So Stanley, you truly insist on continuing this obscene display?
Fine then, Stanley was a very naughty boy who disobeyed the Narrator and... oh, this is ridiculous.
Are you really enjoying this, Stanley? How long does this normally take anyway? You certainly seem to be making it look a lot more complicated than I assumed it would be.
And you are still responding to my voice, I feel like a sex line operator. I am more than just a voice Stanley! I'm not here just to fulfil your fantasies, you know? This isn't all about you!
I am disappointed in you Stanley, I never expected you to be so shallow. To use others for your own pleasure and toss them aside like... oh, you've finished? Well, I suppose we'll carry on then.
But at last he'd had enough of the amazing room and took the fist open door on his left and got back to business...