Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It wasn’t like seeing normally, per se. It was more like the reflection of a car window shining on the far wall as your neighbor across the street pulled out of their driveway. It was like a memory reminding your brain that a book was missing on the shelf as your eyes stared at the empty space and saw it wasn’t there. It was like turning to talk to someone and finding that they had left the room and you were, in fact, alone.

The half-second where the realization smacked you in the face and you caught your balance after missing the last step on the stairs and your lungs caught purchase again was followed by another moment where your mind would decide either you had imagined it or the truth - that you had seen a ghost - would make itself known.

A ghost.

It was far, far, too easy to lean towards the latter; I’m tired, I’ve had a long day, I’m still half-asleep .

Lying was more convenient than the alternative, and if you were someone like Taako, it also happened to come naturally. Being smaller, more feminine, less strong, less of a jock than the other boys at school, he learned very quickly growing up to keep his mouth shut, his chin up, and to blend in. (Alternatively, if you were going to stand out, do it fabulously , which was another thing he held in his short list of talents.)

Lup seemed to share his ability to see the undead, which helped assure Taako that he wasn’t just hallucinating, but while the two of them were growing up they were partway between believing and partway between waving it off as a mistake.

It was only in their latter school years and hurtling towards adulthood when the day came where Lup had turned to her twin, asked, “Did you see that?”

Only to have Taako check his nails and ask airily, “Who, me?” as a response, which shut down the conversation of the supernatural entirely.

He loved his sister, he really did, but Lup, darling, twinsie, my favorite gal, maybe we should put the kibosh on the Capser talk, shall we?

It might be fucking rad to see a woman in Victorian garb lift her skirts to waltz through your living room, her beauty and grace marred by the fact that her image was broken and holed like you were seeing her through lace; but it was also a moment of pants-shitting terror when a man in a plague doctor’s mask peered at you from the foot of your bed, his edges not quite solid while you were trying to sleep and you weren’t quite sure if he was really there and were too afraid to ask. There were only so many times you could tell your aunt that there was little girl in a white dress in your closet or a tortoiseshell cat under your bed before she got tired of checking and told you it was time to stop playing games for tonight, sweetie. You have a big day tomorrow.

In short; it was easiest to pretend.

Pretending, Taako could do.

Some guy once said that life was a stage and something-or-other.

Whatever.

Taako would perform.

And he would dazzle.

***

“A mortician?” The eyelash curler in Taako’s hand stopped. “Coulda given me a heads’ up there, Carey.”

“I told Avi to let you know, but he said you’d think it was weird!” Carey’s voice sounded tinny coming through speakerphone. “... Was he right?”

Taako made a thoughtful noise, batting his eyes in the mirror to admire the curled lashes. “Can’t say it’s the first wackadoo I’ve been out with.”

“Oh, he’s not a wackadoo!” Carey insisted in her (charmingly) optimistic way.

Damn Fangbattles and their silver linings.

“I’ve only met him the one time, but he seems like a really sweet guy!”

Taako sighed, fussing with his bangs. “Killian?”

“He’s normal.” Came a second, gruffer voice. “At least, as far as I can tell.”

He snorted, pushing back from his vanity to stand and pick the phone up to take with him to the closet. “Well that’s reassuring!”

“He’s shy.” Killian offered, and he could hear her shrug. “Polite, though. Good-looking. Sharp dresser.”

Taako’s ear pricked up, his hand on a row of hangers. “Oh?”

Carey laughed.

“Let’s just say this; go easy on him. Be nice to the poor guy, he seems like a sweetheart.”

He held a promising top to himself in the mirror on the closet door and wrinkled his nose in thought. “ Nice isn’t really in the Taako wheelhouse, chica.”

“Bullcrap. You can be nice.”

“That takes a lot of whittling down and a boat load of charm, darling. This boy has a steel trap for a heart that takes some doin’ to get into.”

A pause, and Taako could sense the girls looking at each other.

“Trust me.” Carey finally said. “You’ll like him.”

“Meh. We’ll see.”

“ Trust me.” She insisted.

With that and a short goodbye, Taako hung up, looked again at the top, decided against it, and tossed it onto the bed with a sigh.

***

The agreement set up by Avi (with help from Carey) was to meet at the Davy Lamp at 7 o'clock. Naturally, that meant that Taako flounced in at 7:25.

Fashionable and late, check and check.

As he peered about the restaraunt he tried to recall what Carey had said whilst also trying to spot his date. The reservation was under Avi’s name, but he couldn’t tell in the dimly-lit dining room who the lucky man might be.

“Oh my God, Taako!” Called a familiar voice. “What’re you doin’ here?”

“Hey, Ren.” He smiled at the dark-haired woman in a hostess’ outfit as she scurried forward to give him a hug. “Not tending the bar tonight?”

“I’m multi-tasking. We’re a little understaffed with June on vacation.”

Taako hummed in acknowledgement, booping her nose. “Don’t work yourself too hard, darling. Benefits of being gorgeous.”

She chuckled. “Yeah? I’ll let my boss know.” She reached for a stack of menus. “Table for one?”

“Actually, I’m supposed to be meeting someone here. He should’ve checked in under the name ‘Avi’?”

Ren clicked her tongue, running a finger down the list of reservations. “Hm… Nope, just you, boss. Guess he’s not here yet.”

Taako blinked. “Are you sure?”

“Well, it doesn’t say anyone’s shown up for your reservation at seven, but I guess there’s a chance no one marked him off. I can ask the other staff if - ”

Taako waved a hand to stop her. “Don’t put yourself out, bubbale. He’s probably just late. Why not get cha’boi seated?”

“You got it, boss.”

Ren ushered him to a back table where it wa relatively quiet and where none of his fans were likely to spot him, especially since he sat with hi back to the room. She vanished only to reappear with a drink that tasted like key lime pie and vodka, offering him a wink that let him know it was on the house.

Taako sat back and sipped the drink, pondering his date with not only piqued interest but irritation. Playing the waiting game was usually his thing, and he didn’t really like the tables being turned on him. Of course, he could be way off if Carey was right and this guy was super shy after all.

Maybe he didn’t want to come.

The thought made itself known before he could stop it and his heart sank into his belly. He took a gulp of the key lime concoction and shoved that thought far, far away, down under layers of more pressing matters like his Netflix to-watch list and Auntie’s recipe for creme brulee.

He’s not standing me up. You’d have to be batshit to pass this opportunity up. It’s me . It’s Taako . He smirked to himself at that sentiment, raising the glass to his lips once more.

“Um, excuse me…” A rather deep voice behind him startled him. “Are you Avi’s friend?”

Taako turned and it took every iota of willpower to stop himself from ogling the fuck out of the fine, fine individual who was standing in front of him.

The first thing he noticed was the suit; sharply tailored, high-quality, nothing Taako himself would wear but he was digging it, especially on the body of the tall dark and handsome stranger standing hesitantly before him. Golden eyes, long, dark, dreadlocks, and a septum piercing in the middle of a face that made him want to drool.

Fuck me running, Avi, you’ve outdone yourself.

A strangled sound preceded his response; “Yeah, that’s me.” All shit-eating grin and external coolness, he extended a hand. “Taako. It’s a pleasure.”

A smile, and he pressed a cool hand in to shake. “I’m Kravitz. The pleasure is all mine.”

***

Dinner was a blur, even for someone like Taako who was usually very critical of the food and would relate back to Ren things that undoubtedly would make the chef want to sneeze in his sunchoke the next time he waltzed into the Davy Lamp. Instead, he was glued to his conversation with Kravitz who God, yes, was adorably shy, but also lit up talking about his work. Which was weird in a sense, but when had Taako ever done anything normally?

“It’s not the idea of handling cadavers.” Kravitz admitted with sheepish excitement. “It’s the dignity you’re able to give them, and at the end of the day, rather than simply laying the dead to rest, I’m also putting the living’s mind’s at ease.”

“I would think that’d get kinda gloomy though.” Taako mused, taking his eyes off of bright grin on the gorgeous face only to pour himself and Kravitz more wine.

“It can be.” Kravitz admits, eyes flickering from the glass that he brings to his lips back to Taako’s face. “But imagine if you had lost someone in an accident where their body was damaged.”

His stomach twisted in a knot and he made a noise of agreement, taking his own sip of wine rather than giving a real response.

Kravitz continued, “I’ve had family members of the deceased come in, absolutely devastated after having to identify a loved one while they were in an…. Undesirable condition. Seeing someone you care about in a bad way is not what anyone wants for their final memory of that person, understand?”

“Yeah, I catch your drift.” The tablecloth was suddenly very interesting.

“My job is merely to restore those passed to their former vigor. I’m making it easier to remember what was, to hold on to the… Cheerier image of my clients.”

“Terrific. Say, here’s a question. Do you like pottery?”

Kravitz blinked. “Uh, yeah. I suppose I do?”

“Excellent. Listen - there’s this place downtown called the Chug ‘N Squeeze you have to check out…”

***

Earlier that day it had been unseasonably hot for April outside, and now that the sun had set and the world had settled into a cooling darkness, the breeze was pleasantly warm. Taako’s skirt fluttered against his legs as he and Kravitz exited the Davy Lamp.

“Well, Taako, I had a good time tonight.”

“Yeah, same here my man.” He glanced at the styrofoam to-go box in the other man’s hands, daring a glance up at his face.

Kravitz caught his eye and smiled. It was genuine and kind in a way that made Taako’s gut twist in an agonizing albeit thrilling way.

“Can I… See you again sometime? Soon?” He asked, dark cheeks coloring a bit as he tucked a loose dreadlock back behind his ear.

Fuck. His face was burning.

He pointedly started looking for a compact in his bag, checking his mascara as he responded; “Yeah, that sounds rad as hell, but you know… I’m a man whose time is in short supply and I gotta schedule that shit long-term. Say like…” He snaps the compact shut. “... Next Thursday night around nine?”

He held his breath while his entire body screamed, half of it gleeful shouting that Kravitz wanted to see him again and the other half roaring at him that he shouldn’t fall into this trap again. Another glance at the mortician and he found him checking his phone, scrolling through his calendar.

“Not Thursday, but perhaps the Sunday after for lunch?”

What .

This was not what he had expected.

At this point the guy was either practically on his knees, eagerly accepting any chance at seeing him again or was already a block and a half away while Taako waited in the dark for his uber driver.

Kravitz saw the blank stare in response and supplied, “I have an early appointment on Friday, and while I’m usually a night owl, it’s fairly dangerous to fall asleep in the workshop - ”

Taako snorted into his hand, trying to stifle the laugh. Kravitz blinked as Taako bent over a bit, shoulders shaking.

“Are you serious?” He giggled.

“I don’t understand what’s so - ”

“It’s me , Taako , offering you a second date, and you’re giving me a rain check to take care of dead people !” He wheezed.

Kravitz frowned, but before he could protest, Taako took a breath, straightened up, and finally met his gaze once more.

“I am loving this.”

“... Clearly.” The mortician wasn’t so much annoyed as he seemed a little bit lost.

“You don’t get it. You’re fucking great.” Taako grinned, reaching up to smooth his hands over the front of Kravitz’s suit.

Kravitz stiffened a bit from surprise.

“Sorry, just… Was it lunch? Sunday? I’ll do it. I’ll be there. Gimme your digits and we’ll set something up. I’m super into it.”

The expression he got in response was that of confusion, which morphed into surprise, then delight, then fond amusement.

“... That wasn’t the response I was expecting.”

“Well, hey, now we can call it even for the night!”

“I suppose so.” A smile, which Taako returned.

They exchanged numbers just as Taako’s uber pulled up. Where guys would usually ask to come home with him or kiss him, this guy gave him a fucking handshake .

He then pressed his lips to Taako’s knuckles.

His lips were surprisingly cool, and the little touch of soft skin on his hand made Taako’s heart leap into his throat. He lost the chance to make a joke about moving too fast before Kravitz opened the door for him and bid him goodnight.

Dying .

This guy was gonna fucking kill him.

And, going off of what he’d learned tonight, would probably make his body look fucking amazing before the sweet funeral that would be held.

As the car sped off down the street and Taako slumped back against the headrest, he stared at the hand, watching it flash in and out of view under passing street lamps.

“Didn’t get lucky tonight, huh?” Chortled the woman in the driver’s seat, who looked like the type of past-her-prime soccer mom to carry around a water bottle filled with vodka.

“No…” Taako responded, touching the spot where Kravitz’s lips had. “But you know what? I am completely screwed.”

Chapter Text

It took five dates.

Taako hadn’t been on five dates with the same person since… Well. Let’s not think about that .

Five dates total for it to come up.

One movie, three dinners, one lunch, and one brunch.

Kravitz had finally kissed him on the third date.

Taako had been on dates where they were naked in thirty minutes. The fact that this man was willing to wait three whole dates was baffling but oh so charming. Especially when their eyes were locked and a strong hand was on the small of his back, a thumb hesitantly running over his cheek as Kravitz has shyly, sweetly asked if it would be alright.

Taako had responded stupidly with “Hell yeah.”

Kravitz’s lips were cool, but his cheeks were hot. He smelled like soap and aftershave, and there was a whisper of breath mints when he exhaled. Their lips stayed closed and it was far too short. Taako wanted more, but ended up having to wait until their next meeting to get a little sneak-peak of some tongue action. Not full-on face-sucking, mind you, but it was there.

Third date, first kiss.

Fourth date, first tongue.

Fifth date, the question.

“Do you believe in ghosts?”

Taako choked on his mimosa.

“Sorry - what?” He sputtered, wiping his mouth and waving at the server to try and replace the backwashed mess he now had in his glass.

Kravitz drummed his fingers on the table - a nervous habit that Taako had taken note of over their time together - and seemed a bit sheepish to ask the question again.

“Just curious.” He said, not looking Taako in the eye. “It usually leads to some interesting conversations.”

Taako smirked and leaned forward, resting his chin on the back of his wrist. “I’m sorry, are you not entertained, my fella?”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” Kravitz chuckled.

There was a little flash of a genuine smile that always made Taako’s belly roll over.

“I just find it fascinating on how people respond to that question.”

“Let me ask you first; do you?” Turning the tables seemed the safer route than admitting the complicated truth.

“Yes.”

“I wouldn’t have pinned you as the superstitious type, Krav.”

“Well…” The mortician hesitated. “... It sounds silly to say.”

“No, tell me! I never got to be in the boy scouts. I love a good campfire story.”

Kravitz snorted. “Well… It’s just that I work a lot of late nights - ”

“ Yeeees? ”

“... And my ‘clients’ are uh, indisposed, to say the least…”

“ Mm-hmmmm? ”

“... And you see things. You hear things. Some of which I can’t totally logic out.” More tapping.

“ Do tell.” Taako’s slight mocking did not at all match how he felt.

His heart was racing and he felt the back of his neck tingle with a sort of trepidation that he had found easiest to avoid in the past. There was that tiny spark inside him, though. The little whisper that pleaded with him to validate it all.

You’re not crazy. You have Lup and now look at what Kravitz is saying! There are people like you!

Sure, it was just that most of those “other people” were over-the-moon nutcases that he’d prefer not to liken himself or his sister to. (She drove him up the wall but she was also his favorite person. Not that he’d ever admit that to her face.)

Kravitz was describing cold spots and phantom footsteps from his seat across the table. His golden eyes lit up and his cold hands carved images in the air as he spoke of voices in the dead of night when he was alone, thoughts he couldn’t place the source of lining up with the backstories of bodies in his workshop. It was the same way he talked about working as a mortician, or classical music; his reservations dropped and his passion rose to the surface. Taako couldn’t help himself but to soak in the radiance of this man’s enjoyment. In other words, a can of worms in more ways than one.

Kravitz twirled a dreadlock around his pointer finger, eyes darting away as he got embarrassed again. “So… Have you ever seen anything like that?”

A pause.

“Homeboy, I’ve seen it and then some.”

***

The funny thing about talking about these things is that it always seemed to lead to more shit happening.

Maybe it was always there and bringing the subject to your attention just made you notice it. Maybe someone was always lurking, waiting for someone to discuss those that had shuffled off the mortal coil and merely seized an opportunity. Taako had always lived under the assumption that it was like The Secret or something. If you believed it was happening, of course it was going to happen.

He felt the tickle of cool air breeze over his shoulders to slide down one arm and rest in the booth beside him. He tried to ignore it as he and Kravitz swapped ghost stories, the latter seemingly oblivious to the fact that there was a fucking ghost right there . He ignored the goosebumps as he continued the conversation (against his better judgement) but found himself unable to finish his omelet. His heart was racing too fast and it was making him queasy.

When they finally stood to depart, the cold spot followed Taako. Even as they stood outside the cozy little brunch spot (Ren’s suggestion) in the warmth of the mid-spring sun and Kravitz pressed a goodbye kiss to his cheek, the spot behind him remained cold. Colder than the mortician’s lips and hands.

Seriously, that’s gonna be a problem if we ever get down to making the ol’ beast with two backs. Taako smirked to himself. Yeah, if, am I right?

“You free later this week?” Kravitz asked, fingers brushing over Taako’s wrist.

“Why wait, my dude? Come over tonight.” He snorted.

“Alright.”

Taako froze.

Kravitz smiled a bit, brow quirked. “... You weren’t expecting that answer, were you?”

“Uh…”

He’d half-teasingly, half-seriously tried to invite the mortician back to his place for the past four dates and several times over text. Kravitz was a night owl who did most of his work under the cover of darkness and a workaholic to boot, so he’d turned him down every time.

“Don’t you have work?”

“Usually. Tonight I’m free.”

Silence.

“... Sorry, did you not actually want me to come over?”

“Oh fuck - no, that’s not what I meant I just wasn’t expecting a yes... Um…”

“If it’s a problem, I don’t have to - ”

“Lemme kick Lup and her guy out for the night I just - ”

“ - we can go to my place if you prefer it’s just that - ”

“ - you seem like a clean-cut dude and I’d hate to have you over when she left her undies hanging up in the bathroom again and there’s takeout boxes everywhere - ”

“ - I’m not prepared to have company over and I’d hate to make a bad first impression - ”

They both stopped and looked at each other for a moment.

Taako snorted first and Kravitz followed suit.

“I’m… Really deplorable at the whole dating thing, aren’t I?” Sighed Kravitz, running a hand over his head of dreadlocks to check they were in place.

Taako let out a bark of laughter. “Are you kidding me? You’re the nicest guy I’ve had the pleasure of courting me in quite some time!”

He perked up a bit. “Really?”

“Yeah! Sure, it’s been a while but, uh…” He looked down, shuffling a bit. “... I’m havin’ a blast, hombre. This is… You’re doin’ aces, man.”

He snuck a glance back up to see that little smile again and, oh fuck , here he came. They were kissing before Taako could catch his breath and his hands curled around Kravitz’s suit lapels on instinct. It was firm and soft and sweet, so much like the man behind it and he was melting.

Softly, Kravitz said, “I’m having a blast, too.” and offered him another peck before his head was done spinning.

Oh, wow .

“I betcha say that to all the boys.” Taako responded, sounding as weak and flustered as he felt.

The mortician blew out a puff of air, looking away thoughtfully. “Not exactly... It’s been far too long, really.”

“Hmm?”

“It’s uh, hard to meet people in my line of work.” He admitted sheepishly.

“That’s a fuckin’ shame. Those losers are missing out.” Taako smoothed the lapels he’d grabbed. “That’s not to say I’m ready to share quite yet.” He winked, earning a blush.

“S-so… Do you really want me to come over tonight?”

“Hell yeah! We can order in and Netflix and Chill. You down?”

“Definitely.”

“Ballin’.” Taako kissed him once more. “I gotta go to work, hot stuff. I’ll text you on my break.”

They said their goodbyes as Taako made his hasty escape, heart still pounding from the little smoochfest they’d just shared. It was almost enough to bask in the afterglow that he was practically able to ignore the cold spot that still followed him close behind.

***

So maybe Taako skipped work.

So maybe he had to bribe Lup $20 to get out of the apartment for the night don’t think I don’t know your nerd-ass boyfriend wouldn’t love to have you spend the night here’s the money already gET OUT.

So maybe he was cleaning more in a matter of hours than he collectively had in his entire life.

So maybe the thing following was doing the ghostly equivalent of wolf-whistling and making lewd comments about how he was getting himself ready for a hot date.

… So maybe he wasn’t very good at cleaning.

Fuck, it’s not like he could help it.

They didn’t even own a dustpan.

Or a vacuum.

Or anything to wipe down surfaces with.

Mostly, he was shoving loose clothes into his room, (doesn’t matter if they’re not his. That’s what you GET for leaving your SHIT EVERYWHERE, LUP. This is MY top now.) bagging up trash, and lighting every scented candle he could find to try and get rid of the stink. He actually replaced the toilet paper instead of just setting it on the floor next to the toilet and switched the towels out for the clean ones at the bottom of the pile of laundry he still hadn’t put away.

He hesitated in his room, looking around at the disheveled mess he lived in.

Should he clean up?

Would they be in his room at all if you know what I mean ?

Someone snickered in the empty apartment behind him.

Taako whirled around, pointing accusingly at the air.

“Shut it!”

***

Kravitz arrived exactly five minutes after the scheduled time holding a carry-out bag of thai food and looking both nervous and happy to see Taako. Taako’s job had been to supply the venue and booze, the latter of which was much easier. He and Lup couldn’t keep the fridge stocked half the time, but they always had wine handy, whether it was for a hookup, for nights where (ugh) Barry visited, or when the two of them decided it was a twins’ night in and drank and gossiped and did nails and makeovers until someone fell asleep first. On nights like that, they usually stuck to the couch, which is where Taako sat with Kravitz now with their wine and dine set out on the coffee table.

Picking something to watch was a whole ‘nother thing; Lup had her weird documentaries all queued up, and they also had to scroll past the kiddie shows that the little boy from down the hall would watch when he crashed at their place, (Kravitz raised a brow at that one but Taako waved him off in a “don’t ask” gesture.) the cooking shows the twins binge-watched together… Nothing really date-worthy. It was only when Taako nearly scrolled past something - some show about dorks and computers - that Kravitz stopped and requested they stick with that.

It was mostly quiet as they ate, and once they’d finished they sat with only the sounds of British people yelling at each other and a laugh track. Kravitz soon put a hand on Taako’s shoulder, leading him to his chest while Taako was internally yodelling that they were cuddling .

He wasn’t a cuddler .

The closeness was usually a lot by itself - he felt small and vulnerable, and like if he had to make a run for it, he couldn’t.

That, and it brought up bad memories.

Ones he preferred not to repeat.

Ones that he hoped Kravitz wouldn’t imitate.

That thought by itself made his joints lock up, and as the second episode began and finished, Taako was too lost in a cloud of anxiety to absorb what was happening.

Trying not to think about The Thing That Had Happened was making it just that much worse, and Kravitz shooting nervous glances at him wasn’t helping either. This was the exact dating trap he was afraid of; wanting to move forward but not sure how, and far to scared to make any actual moves. The fact that was making itself undeniably clear, the fact that had him locked in a battle between being thrilled and being terrified was this: he really liked Kravitz.

He like him more than he had expected to.

And that was a complicated pill to swallow.

It was halfway through the third episode when Kravitz reached for his hand and Taako jumped. He jerked away and banged his ankle on the coffee table, resulting in him doubling over and cussing through gritted teeth.

“A-are you alright?” Kravitz seemed more concerned than alarmed.

“Yeah, peachy!” Taako grit out, straightening up a little too quickly and grabbing at the wine with enough vigor that he almost knocked the bottle over. “More vino?”

“... Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Fabulous, darling. Why?”

“You seem tense.”

He let out a puff of air between pursed lips. “Me? Tense? I’m fantastic. It’s a beautiful night. Let’s pop another one, shall we?” He started to pour into his half-full glass.

Kravitz sat up like he wanted to say something, but just sighed. “No, nevermind… Should I… Should I leave?”

Don’t.

“I mean I guess that’s up to you, kemosabe.”

No, I don’t want you to go yet.

“Right.” Kravitz’s voice was quiet.

He cleared his throat and stood, moving to get his jacket. Taako stood reflexively, not sure how to stop him or if he should. As the mortician slung the jacket over one arm and turned to go, Taako followed, arms crossed tightly over his middle, and Kravitz turned to say his goodbyes.

“... I had fun tonight.” It didn’t sound genuine.

“Me too.” Part of him lunged forward, trying to take hold of what felt like an amazing person slipping out of his grasp. “You can stay if you want.” He shrugged.

“... I don’t think I should.”

“I mean I guess that’s fine too.” Another shrug. “See you around?”

“... Yeah. See you around, Taako.”

The door shut with an air of finality and Taako leaned heavily against it, forehead pressed hard against the wood.

“... Fuck.”

Before he could be overtaken by the self-loathing creeping up his spine, the door opened again, nearly smashing his toes and face.

“Shit - Taako, I’m sorry! I’ve made it worse!”

He could only blink disbelievingly at Kravitz’s head poking back into his apartment.

“... I thought you left.” He said lamely.

“... I’m sorry… May I come back in?”

“I guess?”

He scooted back inside, looking sheepish and apologetic. “I’m sorry I left I just thought that I’d upset you.”

“No worries, homie. You’re good.”

Kravitz fidgeted with the button on the cuff of his shirt. “I think you and I need to have a chat.”

Taako tensed.

“N-not like that - please don’t look so distressed - I just think we need to talk about boundaries.”

Oh fuck, this shit.

Taako rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, that sounds great and all, but I’m not great at uh, talking , per se. Not like TALKING talking. We’re not big feelings-sharers in the Taaco house, my man.”

“I’ve already figured that out. We don’t have to do this all at once but do you think we could kind of do baby steps? I don’t want to startle you like that again, and it was wrong of me to try and leave, I just… I want to do right by you.”

“ Slay me , Bone Daddy.”

Kravitz laughed incredulously. “What did you call me?”

“BONE Daddy! Because of like, bone saws and stuff… That’s autopsies. You don’t do that, do you? See, I thought that one was really clever but it fell apart. Whatever - that was gross, anyway. Not using that one again.”

“... Yeah, I think that’s for the best.”

He hesitated. “... Listen, Krav, you didn’t do anything wrong, I’m just…” He sighed, frustrated as he tried to get the words out. “You’re doing fucking great, but that’s the problem. The more awesome you are at this whole dating-slash-courtship thing, the more I get…”

“Skittish?” Kravitz supplied.

“That’s a good one, I’ll take it, thanks.”

“So, what can I do to make you not-skittish?”

Taako fell silent for a moment, fiddling with his braid of blonde curls. When he finally looked up his expression was uncharacteristically vulnerable.

“D’you mind if we talk about it later? Like… In the… Morning, maybe…” He faltered, looking down again. “I mean you don’t have to stay, obvs. And I think sex is out for tonight on account of it being to weird in here now but - ”

A hand entered his field of vision, and he looked up to see a kindly mortician offering it to him. “Do you want me to stay?”

“... Yeah.”

“Then I’ll stay.”

Taako let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He took the outstretched hand in his own, and Kravitz pulled him into a loose hug that was about eight seconds too short. He appreciated the space, though.

It was one of many things that Kravitz gave him that he didn’t feel he deserved.

One that he wasn’t sure he would ever deserve.

Chapter Text

It was a night that hadn’t come easy, as most nights for Taako usually were. He was tense and restless on top of the anxiety of sharing the bed with Kravitz and the complicated emotions that came with it. Somehow, though, sleep arrived, carrying him off into a dreamless night.

It was only when a phone buzzed nearby and Kravitz sat up and scooted out from beneath the covers that he began to awake. A single line of sunlight was snaking its way across the carpet strewn with clothes he hadn’t picked up and he could hear the mortician nearby having a hushed conversation over the phone.

Taako rolled over, seeing Kravitz’s back to him as he picked up his discarded jacket, speaking softly into the receiver.

“Right… No, no, I can be there in fifteen minutes… Uh-huh… Great. See you in a bit.” He hung up and turned to catch the lounging Taako’s eye.

“Leaving so soon?”

He smiled and returned to sit on the bed. “That was Avi. He was supposed to transport a client this afternoon but the family changed locations on him at the last minute, and it overlaps with a later service this afternoon, so he needs me to - ”

Taako waved him off. “Say no more. Go play with your dead people and leave the hottie with a body all by himself without you.”

Kravitz chuckled, brushing a stray curl off Taako’s forehead. “I want to stay. I really do…”

“... Buuuut you don’t get the deposit back if the guest of honor misses their own funeral?”

“Something like that. Are we at the point where I can kiss you with morning breath?”

“Mmm… Come here and find out.”

Just as their lips were about to touch the front door to the apartment opened and a muffled Lup could be heard chattering away (presumably into her phone) as her heels clicked through the apartment. Kravitz’s brows rose and he grinned, earning a smile in response as Taako pressed a hushing finger to his own lips. The bathroom door down the hall shut and the voice grew fainter.

Kravitz snickered and Taako shushed him.

“... Fifteen minutes to meet Avi?”

“Yep.”

“How long can you stretch that?”

“Ten more seconds.”

The kiss was firm but sweet as the cool hand cupped his cheek.

“... Thanks for the slumber party.”

“Any time. Can I show you out?”

***

He couldn’t keep the stupid grin off his face as he shut the door behind him. Of course the trepidation was still there but after all his weird shit Kravitz still liked him . He wanted to work with him on feelings and stuff .

That was… More than he would usually even bother to ask for let alone what someone would give him up front.

“A-hem.”

Taako looked up to see a smirking Lup with her arms crossed, brow raised in expectancy.

“What?”

“What do you mean what?” She barked out a laugh. “Spill!”

He huffed and stood up, stomping off towards his room. “A gentleman never kisses and tells, Lup.”

“Horse shit.” She followed him. “You love to kiss and tell, especially if you’re telling your darling sister! Tell me - is this the same guy you’ve been seeing for almost a month now?”

“My lip is zipped.”

“Taako, pleeeeease? It’s been too long since you had any decent gossip about your love life.”

He turned on her, glaring a bit. “And there’s a good fuckin’ reason for that, and I think you know that.”

She frowned a bit, some of her smug exterior dropping away. “Taako, c’mon - I didn’t mean it like that.”

Taako merely deflated, giving her a look to convey his stress over the situation with Kravitz in regards to That Thing That Happened.

She tsked and ruffled his unruly head of curls. “Listen… It’ll be okay.” She brightened. “And if it’s not, your big sister is always here to beat him up for you!”

“You’re a minute and a half older than me, Lulu.”

“Don’t call me that. Tell me something - is he nice to you?”

Taako made a Taako sound. “Yeah... Too nice.”

“Oh?”

“Ah-buh-buh-buh. You almost got me there Lulu. No details for you yet.”

“Taako you fu-- ”

He shut the door on her muffled expletives with a sneer and took a moment to breathe easy in his empty room.

It wasn’t until he started scrounging together an outfit for the day that he found Kravitz’s tie abandoned in the mess on his floor.

***

It was a few texts shot at Avi as he got dressed and fiddled with his hair to get Kravitz’s work address, and another message to the mortician himself to let him know he was dropping off the tie.

True, he’d heard plenty already about the ins and outs of the work that Kravitz did, but it was another thing entirely to actually go there. Taako - still halfway riding his endorphin high from a good night and an excellent morning - forgot this, but received a swift reminder the moment his uber driver turned onto the street.

His breath whooshed out of his chest like he’d missed a step on the stairs, and something about the street felt crowded. It was like he was riding past a parade, and every single spectator had turned their gaze upon him. The hair stood up on the back of his neck as they drew closer to the destination, the GPS on the dashboard calmly announcing they were two hundred feet away.

The air was warm as he paid his driver and exited the car, signaling that there wasn’t a particular person or thing tailing him, but rather the memory of countless lost lives and the movement of the living churning through the area, leaving the atmosphere restless and claustrophobic even on the peacefully empty road.

Taako turned his gaze towards the establishment in question; a squat building with a sloping roof and large windows facing the street. The flower boxes in front were steadily swallowing up the sign identifying Kravitz’s workplace with creeping vines and tiny white flowers. It read, “The Raven Queen Funeral Home and Mortician Services” in ornate silver letters. The building itself seemed friendly enough (even if the architecture was a tad dated), but it did nothing to distract from the wrought-iron fence encircling the cemetery behind it, many of the graves in the distance looking a little too fresh for Taako’s liking.

He shook off his unease, squared his shoulders, and did what he and Lup did best when they had no idea what they were doing; strolled in like he owned the place.

Sitting at the front desk was a somber-looking man in a dark suit (was that just the uniform?) and a rather tone-deaf bowtie that shimmered with every movement he made.

“‘Scuse me.” Taako said, leaning over the counter a bit for emphasis. “I’m here to see Kravitz. Is he around?”

“Yes, are you here to visit a loved one or arrange for a service?” Asked the man, peering over his spectacles.

“No, I’m here to see the guy I’m dating.”

He raised a brow in response. “I see.”

“Little judgy there, aren’t we? Listen, I thought this was a funeral home. I expected the staff to be a little bit more understanding.”

“My apologies, sir. Please understand there are certain security measures to be had - Mr. Kravitz is working in the basement at the moment. I’ll need to identify you and sign you in before I can allow you to enter the morgue.”

Taako sighed dramatically as the secretary dialed an extension on the phone next to him despite the fact that his spine tingled at the thought of being near the bodies. Not that he wanted to admit that to this guy with his stupid bow tie and his stupid suit.

“Merikh?” The secretary spoke into the receiver. “There’s someone here to see you.” He eyed Taako over. “Yes… He claims to be, ah, seeing you.”

Taako snorted.

“I understand. I’ll send him down with a visitor’s badge.” Bowtie man hung up and handed Taako a clipboard and pen. “Write your name and the date, please.”

“Can do, my man.” Taako scribbled the info down and twirled the pen in his fingers before handing it back. “Anything else?”

“Please put this on.” He reached under the desk and produced a badge on a lanyard. “Now, if you’ll follow me, I can show you to the morgue.”

“Just leaving your post like that, hombre?”

“Well, I can’t allow unauthorized personnel to simply wander the facilities unsupervised. It’s a safety hazard, especially downstairs - ”

“I get it, I gothca.” Taako waved him off as they began their trek down a narrow hallway leading to the stairs. “Not an important enough job so that you can’t bail for five minutes.”

The man’s eyebrow twitched. “This will hardly take a moment, and I assure you that manning the front desk is essential to - ”

“Hey, you don’t have to tell me that,  my dude. I’m sure your secretary position is super important and strenuous.” He snickered.

The stairs evened out into a small waiting room under fluorescents that washed the man out, who huffed a bit.

“That is none of your concern. Simply know that I take pride in the work that I do, and if you aren’t needing any further services - ”

“Nah, we’re cool.”

“Wonderful. Enjoy your… Rendezvous.”

And with that, Taako was left to wait in the pale room, staring at the frosted glass door that read “Merikh A. Kravitz; Head mortician”.

Taako blew out a puff of air and plopped down in one of the folding chairs, bouncing an anxious leg.

Behind the glass a phone was ringing and was answered by a muffled voice. Pipes creaked somewhere in the building, and one of the panels overhead flickered for a moment or two before resuming its low hum and ugly glow.

Finally, footsteps accompanied by a shadow approached the door which swung open to reveal a familiar face. Kravitz brightened upon seeing Taako and grinned, and Taako went weak in the knees.

“Couldn’t stay away?” Kravitz chuckled, wiping his hands off with a paper towel.

His sharp suit was covered with a long rubber apron and his sleeves were rolled up to show that his arms were looking pretty good.

Thicc, not thick. Taako thought, trying not to snort.

“You know it.” He shared the grin, standing to give the mortician a peck on the lips. “Just came to drop off your tie. I know you practically live here, anyway. What’s with Bowtie Guy?” Taako cocked his head, smirking.

“Who, Jenkins? He’s a little stuffy, sure, but he’s fine once you get to know him. Also, by the way? Doesn’t like being teased.”

“Did that son of a bitch rat me out?”

“Yep.”

“ Fuck .”

Kravitz chuckled and kissed him again, lingering a bit. “Are you in a hurry?”

“Not if you were planning on canoodling me right here, right now, my fella.”

He snorted, “I'm still on the clock, Taako.”

“Yeah, and I guess the idea of having a bunch of dead people right fuckin’ there is kind of a boner killer… Or at least it is for me. I hope you feel the same, Krav. That pretty face will only get you so much.” He squeezed Kravitz’s hand. “I’ll call you tonight, alright, handsome?”

“I’d like that quite a lot. May I walk you out?”

“Hell yeah.”

The mortician put a hand to the small of his back, leading him back up the stairs where Jenkins the Bowtie Man was helping a portly redheaded woman set up a service. He was straightening a piece of posterboard on an easel while she barked at him that he wasn't doing it right whilst simultaneously welcoming early guests to the funeral.

Taako, without thinking, allowed a glance at the poster, meeting eyez with a blown-up photo of a wrinkled, smiling man who looked something of a hippie santa claus with his white hair tied back in a bun.

That is, if santa had the expression of someone who had just delivered a very shitty joke and was waiting for you to realize it.

All at once Taako felt very, very cold and had the sensation of someone standing far too close behind him. He reflexively jerked away from Kravitz, turning to look behind them.

“What’s wrong?” Kravitz asked, alarmed.

“... Nothing, my dude. Taako’s good right here.” He flashed an unconvincing thumbs-up. “Ah… Listen. I just remembered Lup needed help with something. See you later?”

“... Sure.” Kravitz didn't seem convinced.

“Excellent! Ciao!”

It was a wonder that he didn't leave a puff of smoke behind him.

***

There was a pair of little shoes by the door when Taako entered his and Lup’s apartment, which only meant one thing: Angus McDonald was over.

Sure enough, Lup was sat at the kitchen table with her legs crossed and her chin cupped in one hand, an amused expression on her face as the tiny boy across from her enthusiastically related to her about something that had happened at school that day, his half-finished PB&J forgotten on a plate in front of him.

“How’s it going, Agnes?” Taako mused, coming up behind him to muss up his hair.

“Ah - hello, sir!” The eleven-year-old pawed his hair back into place as he looked up at Taako with dangerously bright eyes. “Lup told me that you were visiting your new boyfriend at work! She said that his job is to fix up dead people for funerals!”

Taako shot a glare at his twin, who merely smirked and shrugged.

“Sorry, Taako.” She offered,  not even feigning innocence. “You know I can't hide anything from our little sleuth.”

“Horse shit. Who told you?” Taako yanked a chair out, it's legs scraping noisily in the miniscule kitchen.

“Language. Your good good boy is here.”

“I may be a little boy, but I've heard plenty of swears before,  ma'am.” Angus pointed out. “I'm in middle and high school classes now, and I hear a lot of bad words there.”

“God, did Lucretia actually get you into those chem and math courses?” Taako shook his head. “Save some brain juice for the rest of us, homie.”

While a child Angus’ age should have been in the fifth grade, the boy was a certifiable genius and had already skipped ahead twice. The last time their neighbor and Angus’ guardian had spoken to him she had mentioned trying to get Angus into high school classes for math and science,  as he was already getting bored.

Taako, someone who (secretly) enjoyed the boy's company but had no interest in parenthood, had seen the severe-looking woman with a graying bun puffing her way up the stairs with bags full of books (not bothering to lend her a hand of course) and wondered if a super prodigy like Angus made her life easier or more difficult while raising a child.

“He was just telling me about the textbooks they gave him.” Lup said with no end to her sly delight. “What was the word you used, bubbale?”

“Deplorable! Algebra is easy once you learn the formulas, but I already found two whole typos in the chapter about quadratic equations!”

“You're doing the Lord's work,  Ango.”

“Not really.” He swung his stocking feet in his chair. “I'm just doing what a spellchecker should have done in the first place.”

“Fascinating.” Taako was losing interest already. “Welp. It's time for cha’boi to take a nap. Good talkin’ to ya, Angelo.”

“Oh - wait, sir.” Soft footfalls hurried after him as he escaped the kitchen. “I have something for you.”

“Hmm?” He took the slip of paper being offered to him. “Whatcha got there, buddy?”

It was a symbol that Taako didn’t recognize, consisting of carefully-drawn curves and straight lines.

“Well, I was talking to Lup, and she said a few things that um…” Little sock feet shuffled on dirty carpet and big eyes behind bigger glasses glanced away. “It's from a book I read a long time ago, sir. I think it will help you, sir.”

“Help me with what?”

Taako was intrigued, and the symbol drawn on notebook paper in full pencil… Felt like something. He couldn't put his finger on what.

“... I'll tell you next time.” Angus deflected. “Until then, don’t lose that paper. Enjoy your nap, sir.”

With that, he scampered back to the kitchen where Lup was already clearing away the dishes to set up their tutoring session.

Taako looked at the symbol one more time, a strange feeling curling in his gut like an unfamiliar animal that had decided to nap in his living room. It felt like feeling a ghost, but… Not frightening. This drawing, whatever it was, felt safe , with little snatches of Angus all over it.

He glanced behind him, making sure he was alone before allowing a small smile to cross his lips.

It was weird, sure, and it was something he normally wouldn’t appreciate anyone else bringing to his attention. He half hated Lup burning sage and stashing crystals in every corner of the apartment, but he knew Angus meant well in the way that only a child could.

Gently, he folded the paper into a square and upon returning it to his room, he tucked it into the back corner of his sock drawer, where he was sure he could find it again.

Chapter Text

It was hot.

The sun had been blaring down outside when they had entered the church. Surely it had to be a hundred degrees now, and that heat was oozing through the roof, through the high windows, through the open double doors to absolutely cook the inhabitants that sat crammed into polished wooden benches. Women were fanning themselves with whatever paper they could find and more than half the men had stripped their jackets or were in the process of doing so. Babies were fussing and children were squirming in their seats.

Every few moments a parent would hush an errant spawn.

It did nothing to deter the minister’s drone.

It was hot.

He could distinctly feel his shirt sticking to his back, and the trickle of sweat tracing the back of his neck was so clear, at the very top of his registered sensory input, that he wanted to claw it away. Fuck, he’d give anything to take off this ridiculous money suit and be done with it.

Naked as the day he was born.

Hell, he’d do it if he could get away with it.

However, the thought of doing anything as blasphemous as flashing the entire congregation his hoo-hah made his skin crawl more than the sweat that had now reached his collar as he he locked eyes with the somber depiction of Mary behind the droning priest in her golden frame of stained glass, a newly-deceased Christ in her arms.

Do I hate this tux enough to moon the Virgin Mary?

Probably not.

There were some things that even he had to admit were a tad sacrilegious.

It was hot.

While the suit was hot, his hand was far hotter. It was held tight in an iron grip of sticky palms and stubby fingers. He’d noticed earlier that she’d painted her nails a baby pink that made him think of women who wore cheap lipstick and smacked their gum.

That thought made him a little queasy as he dared to wonder is she was the type or woman who did little things like that - wearing an obnoxious color or having an annoying habit.

He’d been feeling queasy a lot lately.

It was hot.

A baby started wailing as they got closer to the vows. He wasn’t paying attention when the priest got to his part, and she tugged on his hand, and he stumbles over his “I do”.

Her beet-colored face was close to his in a second, all red skin and red hair pushing into his personal space.

Why didn’t he close his eyes?

The kiss wasn’t good.

He felt nothing.

As they turned to face the politely applauding congregation, his belly sank like a rock, and he felt he was about to be pulled right through the floor of the church with the finality of it all.

She was still holding his sweat-sticky hand as they took the first steps of the rest of their lives.

***

Taako jerked awake.

It wasn’t really a nightmare that he had been having, but whatever it was, it was discomforting and bizarrely vivid. He shoved his hair out of his face and off his neck which was damp with sweat - the weather was getting warmer and he was getting cooked under his nest of blankets.

With a grunt of effort he shoved the tangle of fabric off his bare legs, straightened the oversized night shirt and padded to the bathroom to cool off, making a sound of annoyance when the tap water decided to run lukewarm instead.

Fuck it. Let’s make lemonade.

He splashed his face and wet the back of his neck and stood directly in the line of fire below the air conditioning vent, letting the air numb his overheated skin and his tired eyes drift closed.

Taako.

He blinked and listened. He’d been sure that Lup was asleep, but maybe -

Taako!

“Hello?” Taako called back into the hall.

Silence.

His pulse leapt into his temples and his throat locked in place.

“... Lulu?”

No answer.

The lack of response made pulse quicken, pounding in his ears as he strained to listen for human movement.

“... Lup, are you awake?” His voice came a bit softer, fear constricting his vocal chords.

Still nothing.

Taako sucked in a breath, trying to convince himself he hadn't heard anything in the first place. He tiptoed into the hall, straining to stay within the safe glow of the bathroom light to flick the hall switch on before he could shut off the one in the bathroom. He did the same with the light in his bedroom and practically sprinted on the balls of his feet once he'd darkened the hall again, quickly shutting the door just soft enough so as not to wake Lup.

He slept with his desk lamp on the rest of the night and had weird, restless dreams.

***

Merle Highchurch was the name that came back from searching the local obituaries.

Taako moreso skimmed the list from his phone while he munched on a late afternoon toast-snack (trying to pretend he was mostly in it for the toast rather than the research even though the apartment was empty) as he leaned against the counter with his ankles crossed.

The name stuck out mostly because the second his eyes passed over it, that same cold spot that he had felt at brunch about a week earlier oozed down his neck and hovered by his shoulder blade.

Taako’s shoulders drew tight as he took a mental note of the name, continuing to scroll the list like nothing was happening, hoping that the ghost practically piggybacking him right now would be debunked by a similar reaction.

No such luck.

Taako jumped as the door to the apartment opened and Lup’s boot heels ( stolen from my closet you beast of a woman ) clacked inside, followed by the sneaker-falls of one Barry Bluejeans.

Okay, Bluejeans was probably not his real name.

(Definitely not.)

It was a joke started up to tease the nerd who had been following Lup like a lost puppy since they’d been in college, and had continued to do so after they graduated and were now working on the same campus.

“Afternoon, Taako.” Barry beamed, following Lup into the kitchen who was rapid-fire texting without looking up and made a sound of greeting at her twin.

“Afternoon, Barold.” Taako offered back, laying his phone down on the counter as he moved to the fridge for some cheese to chase the toast with.

“Taako, were you burning sage in here?” Lup suddenly asked, eyebrow quirked and nose in the air, sniffing.

Taako spread his hands innocently. “I don’t know what you mean. I gave the stuff up years ago.”

“There’s ashes in the sink, goofus. You don’t have to lie.” She craned her neck to nod at the blackened curls of a smudge stick clinging to the rubber part of the drain.

It was then she noticed Taako’s phone on the counter.

“Oooh, obituaries, huh? Spooky.”

“Just reading up on my man’s work.” Taako waved her off, folding the slice of havarti into tiny squares to eat one by one.

“Yeah, how’s that going?” Barry asked.

Taako pensively nibbled a cheese square, then another. “A gentleman never kisses and tells.”

“Said the guy who blew Greg Grimaldis at a pep rally in high school…” Lup muttered, scooting her twin over with her hip to open the fridge.

“ Listen , he promised to split his winning bet with me, forty-sixty! And it was a handy, not a blowjob.”

“That was my bet money he was winning, you traitor! My own brother, giving Greg FUCKING Grimaldis a beef strokemeoff for nine bucks out of his better half’s wallet?! Perish the thought!”

“What about freshman orientation where you gave ol’ Barremy denim over here -- ”

“WHOA -- ” Barry started.

“ -- A hickey for twenty bucks? That’s more than fair!”

“... I didn’t agree to be dragged into this.” Barry mumbled, beet red in the face.

Lup only smirked, planting a kiss on his cheek. “It’s fine, babe. It led to something good, don’t you think?”

Barry smiled sheepishly and Taako rolled his eyes dramatically, moving to escape with his dairy treat in peace.

Dirty babe, (uh-huh)

You see these shackles baby, I’m your slave. (Uh-huh)

I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave.

It’s just that no one makes me feel this way.

Taako swooped in to snatch his phone off the counter before Lup can. She snickered and turned on her boot heel to give him some privacy as he answers.

“Howdy, gorgeous. What’s up?”

“ You actually picked up! ” Kravitz laughed on the other end, the sound making Taako’s chest swell. “ I haven’t seen you in a week. I’m just checking in on you to make sure I haven’t scared you off. ”

“No such luck.” Taako smirked, walking further away from where he can hear Barry and Lup still talking in the kitchen. “What about you? Still into riding this train to date town, kemosabe?”

Kravitz laughed again and Taako savored it as he shut himself in his room.

“ That’s exactly what I was calling you about. ” The mortician admitted, something rattling in the background as he spoke. “ I recently came across some tickets… ”

“Oh?”

“ Yes. Symphony tickets. I know it’s not your cup of tea, but I’d love to have you there. ” A heavy door shut, and a metal latch clunked into place.

“Are you working right now?”

“ You know I never stop working. ” Kravitz responded with a hint of a chuckle. “ Yes. Just cleaning up. ”

Taako’s spine filled with ice, and there was his chilly little friend on his shoulder, pointing, pointing, pointing, reminding him of things he’d rather leave alone.

“W-who uh… Who’s on the slab today?” Taako cleared his throat, trying to shake off the persistent spirit.

“ The usual. Just a few elderly folk and one accident. ”

“What about that guy that was getting his funeral the other day? Merle Hitower? Something like that?”

“ It sounds sort of familiar, why? ”

“Ahh, just… Noticed it reading the paper today. Saw him in the obituaries.”

“ You were reading the paper? ”

“Taking an interest in your work, hot stuff. Listen - when’s the symphony? I’ll clear the day.”

“ It’s on a Saturday night at seven. ” He can hear the hope in Kravitz’s voice.

God, what a nerd.

“Don’t people dress up for this kind of thing? Count me in. I have a new pair of heels I wanna break in that have been in my closet for like, four months.”

“ Keep talking like that and I might have half a mind to take you out more often. ”

“Keep talking like that and I might start buying more shoes.” Taako fiddled with a loose lock of hair, smiling into the receiver.

“ We’ll find a mid-point. ”

“No, please give me an excuse to take Lup shopping soon. She’s either stealing all my clothes or wearing the same pants for a week.”

“ Alright… Friday, then? I can pick you up. ”

“In a hearse?”

“ In my car . I do have a life besides corpses, Taako. ”

“Mmm… Do you?”

“ I have you. ”

Taako stopped breathing.

“ I… Probably don’t give you enough of my time, but… I have you. And I’d like you to stick around for a while if you’ll have me back. ”

There was a soft tapping in the background - Kravitz undoubtedly fidgeting shyly - and Taako found himself twisting a free hand tighter and tighter into his hair until his scalp stung and his fingertips started to go white.

“... Hella.” Was all he could manage and Kravitz laughed once more as Taako’s face caught fire.

“ Fantastic. Um… I’m looking forward to this weekend. ”

“Yeah, me too you big fucking dork.”

“ Talk to you soon. ”

Taako hung up the phone and immediately curled into a pillow and screamed.

There was a concerned knock at the door, followed by Barry’s voice: “You okay in there?”

“ HELLA! ” He shouted back bitterly before throwing his arm over his face and giving a groan.

***

There had been an old combination CD/cassette player in Taako's aunt's kitchen with her small collection of music that she kept stashed next to the spice rack. For every hasty move and upheaval of her and the two young children she now had to raise with money stretched thin and every familiar neighborhood soon shrinking in the rear window of her station wagon, a kitchen with music and food was a constant.

There were memories stuck haphazardly between broad swatches of static where the scent of rosemary would slingshot him back into an apartment he can't picture; his feet are swinging under him and the sharp scent or the herb wrapped in the comforting scent of roast fills the room. His aunt has her back to him, swaying on her feet as she hums along to something classical and soaring on the tinny speakers of the CD player. It was always the classical CD for her roast.

Baking was Nora Jones.

Latin rock backed her when she made lasagna.

Soups and stocks were strictly NPR.

Phantom of the Opera was for any holiday, any time of year.

Today, though, it was roast, and their kitchen was etched by violins and oboes in his mind as Taako swung his feet and his aunt hummed along.

It was so sharp his mouth almost watered in the symphony hall as the orchestra played their final piece. That piece that he didn't know the name of or who had composed it but always left him reeling with the quickly-fading smell of rosemary in his nose.

Kravitz’s hand found his and squeezed as the conductor took his bow and patrons around them started to rise and applause. The seat under him shuddered back into place as he remembered where he was, looked up to see Kravitz stand to clap and clumsily moved to do the same. The lights came on and they made their way out of the crowded theater, the mortician keeping a firm hand on his shoulder and tightening his grip whenever the bodies around them pressed a little too close. Taako absently put his own hand up, covering Kravitz’s in a gesture of comfort. Everything still felt a little floaty as they escaped the stuffy symphony hall into the cool night, his heels finding purchase on uneven asphalt.

“Did you like it?” Kravitz asked as they finally freed themselves from the crush of bodies, hand in hand.

His face had a bit of an anxious giddiness to it that made Taako’s chest ache.

“That was about the dorkiest thing I’ve done in a while, my dude…” He started, adding before Kravitz’s face could fall, “... But dorky works for me if it’s gonna be as cool as that?”

Kravitz positively beamed and Taako couldn’t resist giving his hand a squeeze and returning the expression.

“I’m so glad.” Came the admission. “I know it’s not for everyone, but I really just… It means a lot to me. Especially since you came along.”

They paused beside Kravitz’s car, and as the mortician moved to find his keys, Taako pushed against him, arms sliding to clasp underneath a warm suit jacket. Kravitz only paused for a second before returning the embrace, enfolding him and pressing his face into the head of curls.

If he were good at words, if he was one to express his emotions without panicking, if he could someday get to a point to describe what had happened during the show, he would, but for now the words tangled themselves in too many threads of thought that he couldn’t separate them and settled for what was proving to be a baller hug instead.

Cool lips pressed to his forehead, his temple, his cheek, and finally his lips, where Taako returned the kiss. He wondered how Kravitz’s kisses were so warm when his face and hands always managed to be cold as one such hand cupped his face and he covered it with his own, trying to thaw the icy fingers.

Foreheads pressed together, they paused as the wind picked up, blowing an unpleasant breeze under the suit jacket and tickling Taako’s arms.

“Are you cold?” Kravitz finally asked.

“Freezing, bubbale.”

“Should I take you home?”

“We could always go to your place instead.” Taako snorted, waggling his brows.

“Alright.” His brows shot up as he looked up at Kravitz, who immediately went red and started to protest, “It’s just a suggestion of course. It just seemed like the timing was right, but if it’s going to be weird then of course we don’t have to - ”

Taako cut him off by yanking on his tie, silencing him with a kiss. Kravitz stopped, tension fading as he kissed him back, releasing a breath of relief.

“You know, handsome, I’ve been waiting like, a month for you to take me home? I’m down to clown pretty much whenever, but if you’re not ready - ”

“I am.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Tonight has been… So perfect, Taako. That would simply be the cherry on top.” Kravitz grinned sheepishly and Taako couldn’t resist smiling in return, giving him another, gentler kiss.

“So then… Let’s get going!”

“Of course.” Kravitz laughed, unlocking the car and opening the passenger’s side for him.