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This was officially the worst day in the history of Earth, and there was no one who could possibly hope to convince Leonard that this wasn’t a fact. There couldn’t possibley exist another day with so much billshit, screaming Admirals and temper tantruming boyfriends. Leonard wouldn’t believe it even if someone showed him.
The bullshit and screaming Admirals was a normal occurrence, especially for Leonard, and he was at a record low for beatings in one day so that was at least something. Especially since he had been at his most ‘smart ass’ since he started his day. Usually Admirals loved using that as an excuse to beat the shit out of him.
No, what made today such a hellish day was one James T. Kirk, the boyfriend of the century who managed to wake Leonard up by shoving him onto the floor at 3 in the morning and yelling at him about stealing the blankets and snoring. Really, it wasn’t Leonard’s falt that he was a snarky asshole today. It was Jim’s for waking him at an ungodly hour and refusing to let him back into bed because he needed his ‘beauty sleep’.
It was only Leonard’s desire for some sleep that had prevented him from ripping into Jim at that moment, but even when he crawled into the bed that Jim used to occupy before they started to date he couldn’t get back to sleep.
They had definitely gotten into it after Jim had woken up for class and that had not ended well at all.
So here Leonard was. Annoyed, sleep deprived and on his way to what felt like his hundredth patient in one day. If he got another hot headed Admiral who thought he was better than Leonard, he was going to be shot on the spot for ripping the bastard apart in the middle of the patient's room.
He stopped in front of the door to the patient room that the Nurse had given him, taking a moment to connect his Padd to the council on the wall and load the patient file. Maybe this one would be quick and easy and Leonard could escape back into his self inflicted exile in the coffee room. Knowing his luck though, it was going to be an hour long and he was going to want to bash his head into a wall afterwards.
“Nyota Uhura.” The named rolled off of his tongue easily, a sweet sound in the middle of a very bitter day. “I really hope you’re pretty and not an ass hole.” He drew in a shallow breath and stepped forward, glad that the door had managed to open in front of him. The last thing he needed was to walk into a half open door and break his nose when he should be dealing with a patient.
It only took a moment for him to examine the two bodies in the room. One young woman sitting on the medical bed with a hand over her stomach and a green tint to her skin, and a young Vulcan directly beside her with one hand protectively on her shoulder and his eyes zeroing in on Leonard. A Vulcan who also happened to have ‘Commander’ strips on his uniform Jacket.
This was going to be great.
“So, what seems to be the problem, Cadet Uhura?” Leonard stepped up in front of the young woman and watched as she glanced over at what he could only assume was her boyfriend, visibly questioning if she should answer. “Well, come on. I don’t care how pretty you are, I have better things to do than stand around and wait for you to answer me.”
The Vulcan growled. Not even a low and protective growl, but one that was loud and almost predatory. Leonard had obviously hit a nerve. “You are here to consult with a patient, Doctor. Not flirt with my mate.” Leonard gave the man an unimpressed look. “Nyota has not answered yet because you have failed to follow proper protocol.”
“Protocol? Really?” Leonard somehow managed to be even more unimpressed with the Vulcan. “Protocol states that i should request information from my patient about their condition and do what I can to help them. I can also choose to be a giant dick if they need surgery and not give them anesthetic if their boyfriend decides to continue being a jackass.”
Where Leonard expected the other man to punch him, he was instead met with a completely blank face and a hand that actually seemed to relax a little on Uhura’s shoulder. That was new, but he figured it had to do with the man being Vulcan. They were timid compared to humans and were far less likely to attack over some sass.
“By Protocol, I was refering the the Terran Empire rulebook, subsection 5 number 8.” The Vulcan gave him an expectant look. Apparently Leonard was actually supposed to know what the man was talking about.
“I’m sorry,” he waved a hand dismissively “you’re going to have to fill me in on that one. If it wasn’t a medical text i deleted it from my files as soon as i got my Padd.” Now the man just looked unimpressed.
“Subsection 5 number 8 states that whenever one enters a room with a superior officer they are to salute before proceeding to do anything else.” The bastard actually wanted Leonard to waste time on a salute? Leonard didn’t salute Admirals, why the hell would he salute a Commander? “Nyota was simply asking if she should answer your question even though you failed to salute me.”
Now Leonard was just annoyed “I’m sorry, you seem to think that you’re important.” The Vulcan’s eyebrows almost disappeared behind his bangs when his eyes went wide. Apparently no one had ever talked back to the guy, because that was not a look that someone gave when they were used to being sassed. “I have better things to do than waste my time on a salute that contributes absolutely nothing to my job performance, unless you actually believe that me throwing my hand in the air like some 1940’s Nazi and saying “Sir” will magically make your girlfriend feel better.”
Leonard was met with silence. Apparently there was no appropriate response for a Vulcan to make after being told off. That or the guy was contemplating all the ways he could murder Leonard and make an example out of him for others who may entertain the idea of being insubordinate shits. God knows he wouldn’t be the first one to do it.
In that case, Leonard was going to continue with the consultation, though he did give himself a second to look over at Cadet Uhura with a raised eyebrow and a face that said ‘seriously?’
“Now, if Commander…” He glanced back at the Vulcan for the next part of his sentence.
“Spock.” The growl was gone from the man’s voice, replaced by a hint of annoyance and a pinch of what Leonard could only refer to as amusement. His death was imminent and damn if he wasn’t going to enjoy himself.
“Well, if Commander Spock is done attempting to tell me how i should proceed with my job, I would love an answer to my question from the pretty Cadet.” A smile cracked across Uhura’s face, and her eyes darted back towards Commander Spock, asking him a silent question just between the two of them. One that Leonard probably didn’t want to be informed of, and one he definitely didn’t want to know the answer to.
“I’m feeling ill,” explained Uhura, her brown eyes focusing on Leonard and the smile still plastered on her face. “Nauseous, dizzy and lightheaded. Commander Spock thought that I might have been poisoned by one of my classmates.”
“I’m taking that to mean top of your class?” Uhura nodded. “Well, smart and pretty and here you are wasting your time on Commander stuffy pants.” Another low growl emitted from the Commanders throat, this time with a little less ‘predator’ and a little more ‘protection’ hinted in it. This was going to be fun. “Well in that case I’ll do a quick scan. We wouldn’t want the second rate kids getting a leg up because they went and killed the only gorgeous person in class, now would we?” Leonard winked playfully, ignoring the look he received from Commander Spock and taking a step towards Nyota as he pulled out his tricorder and started up a scan.
“Is it really necessary for you to stand so close, Cadet.” Apparently, since Leonard had decided to be disrespectful, the Commander was going to do the same. Maybe Leonard had been wrong about him. Stuffy pants people didn’t usually tend to be fun and sassy.
“No, but it does annoy you.” He flashed a smirk towards the other man, ignoring the beep that his tricorder let off in favour of enjoying the look of sheer annoyance on Spock’s face.
Uhura didn’t seem to enjoy that at all.
“Ok,” she spoke up, glaring at both men when they turned her attention to her “pissing match aside, do I need an antidote or anything along those lines?”
Leonard glanced down at the results on his tricorder and smiled. “Well, I can inform you that no one has tried to poison you today. Or at least not successfully.” That said, he placed his tricorder against his back once more and pulled an Otoscope out of his medical jacket and reached out to take hold of the Cadet’s chin so he could turn her head to the side.
This time when Commander Spock growled, it was accompanied by a hand wrapping around Leonard’s wrist in a painful grasp. Apparently touching was an absolute no in the Commander's mind.
“What exactly do you think you’re doing, Cadet?” Spock put emphasis on the rank, a poor attempt to assert his dominance over Leonard.
“I’m doing a second check. Sometimes, surprisingly, tricorders are wrong,” Leonard explained. “I like to make sure before I give you an actual diagnosis.” He turned his eyes towards Spock, standing his ground and refusing to let go of Uhura’s chin.
“You will remove your hand, or I will remove it for you.” The words dripped with anger. This wasn’t just a first warning, it was the only warning Leonard would get, and this time he was going to take it.
He removed his hand slowly, his eyes locked with Spock’s as the Vulcan reached out with his free hand and cupped Uhura’s face gently. “Nyota…”
“You’re over reacting.” Nyota smirked “I’m fine, Spock. Let the man do his job.”
Spock narrowed his eyes at Leonard “You will do it without touching her,” he warned in a low growl.
For the first time since entering the room, Leonard nodded in agreement. “Alright. I won’t touch.” He put his hands up in a sign of surrender and chuckled when Spock growled again. “Why don’t you get your guard dog to back down, Dollface? He can have at you as soon as I’m done and out of here.”
Rather than responding to Leonard’s disrespectful nickname, Uhura jumped off of the medical bed and turned so that her left ear was facing Leonard. Touching was an absolute no go, but apparently Leonard still had wiggle room on being a disrespectful little fuck.
Placing the Otoscope inside of her ear, Leonard turned the light on and took a look inside. “Yep, I see your problem.” He moved back and smiled down at Cadet Uhura. “You’ve been using those pretty ears of yours too much. They got tired and you got a middle ear infection.”
“Well,” Uhura looked almost disappointed at the sound of that. “That is...uneventful.”
“I assure you, it means nothing.” Leonard made his way over to the cupboard as he spoke and punched in his code to the middle drawer. “I’m sure there is some Cadet out there who thinks ‘she’s too pretty, too smart and her boyfriend sounds like someone gave bugs bunny a wedgy. I need to kill her.’”
Before he could turn back towards the Cadet, Leonard found a hand being slapped down on his shoulder and his mind preparing him for a fist to the face. What he got instead was his back against the cupboards and sly fingers stealing the medication he had grabbed from his hand.
“I like him.” He cracked his eyes open a sliver, unsure of when exactly he had shut them. In front of him, Cadet Uhura stood with a triumphant smirk plastered on her face and one hand making its way onto Leonard’s chest while the other one popped open the pill bottle. “How many?”
“Just one.” Leonard responded, a little breathless. It took all of his strength to drag his eyes off of those pretty lips that were now pressed into a thin line while Uhura attempted to get one pill out of the bottle. Once she had, he turned his attention to Spock, unsure of why the Vulcan hadn’t already murdered him.
What he found was surprising to say the least.
Instead of standing squarely behind Uhura and preparing to rip Leonard to shreds, Spock had moved to the door and punched in his security code, causing the locks to snap into place so that no one outside of the room would be able to open the door.
As soon as that was done, Spock moved to Uhura’s side and placed a protective arm on her waist while she finally managed to pop a pill into her mouth and swallow it. Once that was done, she tossed the pill bottle onto the counter behind Leonard and turned her attention over to Spock.
“Can I keep him?” Her voice was playfully, but Leonard could tell it was a serious question by the way Spock looked him over. “Come on Spock, it’ll be fun.”
Spock seemed to agree with that last comment, because the next thing Leonard knew the man had moved up behind Uhura and leaned down to press a kiss to her neck while he placed his hands on her hips.
“As long as I am present to watch,” he whispered against her skin, his eyes glued to Leonard even as his fingers curled against Uhura’s uniform.
Leonard smirked back, a happy groan escaping his throat when Nyota moved forward and pressed herself up against him. “You can fuck her on the bed after for all I care.”
Maybe today wasn’t the worst after all. How could it be when Uhura was giving him that devilish smirk and undoing his belt at the same time that Spock pressed up against her back and watched her hands.