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Entering the tech lab with a smile on her face, Bridget announces her presence so as not to startle Jaal. “Morning, big guy!”
“Ah…Bridget.” he says, looking up from what he’d been previously working on. “Did you get my message?” She’s about to respond that no, she hadn’t had a chance to check her email yet, but he beats her to the punch. “Doesn’t matter. I have…exciting news and I wanted to tell you in person.”
Quirking a brow in amusement, Bridget asks, “Should I sit down?”
“Is that another idiom, or…?” he asks in confusion and it takes all she can to hold in her laughter. “Y-Yes, of course. Do what you like.”
A small chuckle escapes her despite her efforts. Sometimes it's just too easy to mess with him, but his reactions are too adorable to pass up on.
“Yeah, it’s an idiom that means – ” She cuts herself off, quickly realizing that this particular expression would require a little more explanation than she’s willing to go into right now. “Never mind.”
He considers her words and shrugs, deciding to continue with his previous train of thought.
“I’ve been offered an advancement in the Resistance and…my own command.”
Oh.
His own command. A positon he’d longed for for a long time now. One that would take him far away from the Tempest.
She tries to suppress the crushing disappointment that’s settling in her chest. Deep down, she’d always known that this would be a temporary arrangement – those had been the terms of Evfra’s agreement, after all…But even so, she’d found herself hoping beyond all hope that Jaal would stick around. That he would want to stay with her.
She should have known better.
“That’s…great,” she forces herself to say, unable to disguise the hurt in her voice. “I’m…happy for you…”
He looks at her in confusion, his concern plain as day. “But you don’t sound…”He pauses in what must be realization. “Ah. Another idiom?”
“Kinda,” she mumbles in response.
Bridget can’t meet his gaze. She’s aware he doesn’t believe her excuse, but she knows that if she were to look him in the eye now, she’d burst into tears. She can sense that he wants to ask what’s wrong, but her pride won’t allow it. Swallowing thickly, she rubs her hand along her arm as a distraction. “So…when did this happen?”
He seems hesitant to ignore her discomfort, but answers readily enough. He was offered the position recently. Apparently his superiors were impressed by the feats he’d accomplished with Bridget and her crew and saw fit to reward him.
She tries to listen to the details of his position, but her mind is focused elsewhere.
He’s leaving. Just like all the others.
She wants to scream, to punch a wall and throw a fit. It just isn’t fair. She’d thought he’d be different; that he cared enough to want to be with her. She was so fucking naïve. She puts on a brave front for his sake, not wanting to make this all about her. He’d wanted this for so long and who is she to keep him here?
“That’s a hard decision to make.” She can’t muster the enthusiasm needed to properly mask her feelings. “I won’t stand in your way.”
Jaal tilts his head in acknowledgment, making an affirmative sound. “That’s kind. It was a hard choice.”
And now she can feel her heart breaking.
Well, she thinks with a hint of despair. At least she has the comfort of knowing he was torn up about the decision…Even though he’s leaving her forever, he might think back on their time together – maybe even fondly.
“Okay, then…” she mutters lamely, wanting nothing more than to curl up in a ball and cry her eyes out. “Should we head back to Aya?”
Better to rip the bandage off sooner rather than later. The longer she drags out his stay, the worse it will hurt when he finally leaves.
His loud, boisterous laughter is the last thing she expects and glances up at him in stark confusion. Jaal looks at her with gleaming amusement. “What? Why?” He chuckles again. “I’m not taking the position!”
She’s flooded with overwhelming relief, but finds herself more perplexed than anything else. He’s not leaving? Why? This is the perfect opportunity for him to jump ship, but…he wants to stay? She looks at him incredulously and though she wants nothing more than to pull him into a hug, she instead responds by snapping at him.
“But that’s crazy! Isn’t this what you wanted?”
It's more than she could ever give him, that’s for certain.
He laughs again, and it frustrates her. Why does he find their situation so god damn amusing when all she wants to do is crawl in a hole and die?
“What I wanted, yes,” Jaal says, his words ending on a chortle. He pauses a moment, affixing his gaze on her in that way only he can. His smile drops and his words hush to a more serious tone. “But not what I needed. Not what I need.”
His words are so soft, so sure, that it stops her in her tracks.
“With your help, I broke free of expectation. I found…my better self.” The statement is raw, heartfelt. He says it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. Perhaps that’s why she breaks down as she does.
Before Bridget can help it, tears begin to silently stream down her face and she lets out a traitorous sniffle.
Jaal reacts immediately – face contorting into concern and hands reaching forward to gently cup her face. “Dearest, why are you crying?” he asks, his tone hushed and worried.
She just shakes her head violently, reaching up to wipe her face with her sleeve. The tears don’t stop, however, and all she succeeds in doing is getting tears and snot all over her favorite jacket. “I…I can’t…” she hiccups, tripping over her words.
Gingerly, he brushes a wisp of hair behind her ear, mindful of her piercings, before trailing his hand back down her cheek. His touch remains feather light, which prompts her into a fresh bout of sobs. He’s far too kind, too gentle. She doesn’t deserve him.
Realizing she won’t be able to give him a coherent answer at the moment, Jaal pulls her into a firm embrace, holding her close. They spend the next few minutes in relative silence as Bridget attempts to divest herself of her emotions, but he eventually prompts her with a question.
“Did you really think I was going to leave?” He’d asked it so quietly, she almost didn’t catch it.
Sniffling, she looks up from his chest into those vast, blue eyes of his. There’s pain there; pain for her, and it makes her want to cry all over again. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she lets out a shaky sigh. “You wouldn’ t be the first,” she murmurs softly.
He’s taken aback by that and he gazes at her with renewed concern.
She can tell he wants to ask for details, but is warring with himself over whether that would be appropriate. Sighing wearily, she figures she might as well extend her own misery to put him out of his.
“I’m not going to bore you with a recount of every relationship I’ve ever had…but…” she hiccupps. “It was always the same. I was never…”
Good enough.
She doesn’t want to say it out loud. Shaking her head, she tries to change the subject.
“Well, it doesn’t matter why. Point is, they all left. Every last one of them. Family’s been the same way. My dad was never around to play the part of a parent, and yet he went and died for me anyway.” A harsh laugh escapes her. “I loved my mom more than anything, but I guess the world decided ‘Hey, we haven’t fucked up her life enough yet’ and took her away too…” Her tears return with a vengeance and she presses her face into Jaal’s chest to try and escape the reality of the situation. “Emmett’s all I’ve ever had. He’s the only one who stayed with me no matter what…A-and then he had to go into a fucking coma…I have no c-clue when he’s going to wake up, and…and…”
Her breath catches when Jaal plants a kiss at the crown of her head. Sharply, she glances up at him, tears still flowing from her eyes.
He wipes them away with gentle arcs of his thumbs, tenderly cradling her face in his hands.
“I’m here,” he tells her, and that in itself is profound. Never mind that the statement is made of but two words – the fact that someone is here, for her sake, leaves her in a state of awe and disorientation.
She’s only ever had Emmett to lean on…Her heart has been broken and fixed more times than she can count, and yet not once has someone besides her brother ever offered her just the simple comfort of their presence. It’s funny how this declaration means so much more to her than a confession of love ever could.
She stares deep into his eyes, as if they’ll hold the answer she’s looking for, and asks at a whisper, “You mean it?”
Jaal’s eyes soften with reverence and adoration and he slowly leans down to press his forehead to hers. “Of course I do,” he breathes. Gradually, he pulls back, just enough so that he can meet her gaze. His lips stretch into a lazy smile and he says, “For better or for worse, you’re stuck with me.”
That gets a laugh out of her and she lets out an unbecoming snort. “Is that right?”
His smile stretches into a full grin and he leans down to plant a series of kisses along her neck, spurring her into giggles. He continues his affectionate assault until she’s wriggling out of his grasp, pleading for mercy. “Okay, okay! I yield!”
He respects her wishes and sets her down gently. They both chuckle quietly as he nuzzles his nose against the crook of her neck. They stand in amicable silence once more, a smile finally on Bridget’s face. He places one last kiss at the juncture of her shoulder before whispering, “For as long as you’ll have me, I promise to be by your side. You won’t get rid of me that easily.”
Another laugh escapes her before she releases a content sigh. Pulling him closer, she inhales deeply. This is real. Regardless of what happens in the future, this moment belongs to them, and nothing could ever take that away.