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You knew coming to the bunker would be a mistake, even if Cas did say it was the safest place for you. There was always tension between you and Dean. It was something you had always attributed to dislike on his part and distrust on yours. As the days you stayed stretched into weeks then months, you found ways to make yourself useful, to anticipate ways to help without being asked. The strain had finally eased to the point where you could stay in the same room with Dean for hours in comfortable silence.
Now Dean was saying everything you dreamed of hearing: words of desire, promises of a permanent home, here with him. But the voice saying them was all wrong. There was a resonance missing, something angelic and uniquely Castiel. The eyes looking into yours weren't the shade of blue you dreamed of, but green.
Dean's lips turn up in a small, expectant smile. "Wanna say something? You're kinda leaving me hanging here."
"Dean..." You sigh, and fidget, not sure what to say. But he obviously understands because he nods and looks away from you.
"Right. No. I get it."
"I didn't know that you, you know." You motion awkwardly between the two of you. His eyes narrow.
"Really? Cause I thought it was pretty clear." You think back to those evenings spent watching movies, or cooking together and you feel like a fool for not understanding it sooner. Your heart and mind were so occupied with Cas there wasn't any room for the possibility of someone else. Dean's demeanor has changed. He's the hunter now, suspicious, determined to find answers. "You playing a game or something?"
"No. I just didn't think you saw me that way. I'm not exactly your type and Cas has told me the way you were with women..."
"Cas." Something in the way you spoke his name has given you away. "You and Cas. Son of a bitch."
"It's not like that." And it isn't, because you've haven't told Cas how you feel about him. It wasn't the right time, and you're not sure if it ever will be.
"Maybe not for him. But for you." You can't deny it. As the silence stretches between you, Dean begins to pace. Finally it seems as though he can't hold his thoughts in any longer. "What do you think will happen? You think Cas is gonna carry you off into the sunset?" His voice is cruel, mocking. It's enough to bring you out of the numb shell you've been in since this conversation started.
"My feelings for Cas are none of your business Dean!"
"He can't give you what you want!"
"You don't know what I want!" He goes to answer you but you cut him off. "Stop. You've said your piece, now listen to me." You take a deep breath to steady yourself. You want to make sure Dean understands that this isn't some emotional outburst on your part, but the truth, as plain as you can put it. You look into his eyes and say, "I'm going to be completely honest because I owe you that. For me, it's Cas and it will always be Cas."
Neither of you has anything to say after that. It's done. So you walk out, to your room to pack. You can't stay. You don't even think either of you will be able to look at each other in the face after that. There has to be somewhere else safe to go. You'll figure it out once you've cleared your head.
"______." Dean is at your door. "You're not leaving."
"I have to." You keep throwing clothes in your bag, not bothering to notice what you're actually taking. Dean walks over to the dresser and grabs your keys. "Dean!"
"I'm not letting you get killed because of this." And he walks away. You know arguing with him right now is pointless. You'll have to find another way out. You drop the bag and kick it across the room in frustration.
"Is something wrong?" You jump at the sound of his voice, gentle as it is. You'll never get used to that.
"Dammit Cas."
"Hello _____." Somehow, after the fight with Dean, your failed attempt to leave, and your emotional burnout, all it takes is one look from him to know that this is the right time.