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You had often wondered as a child how certain traditions began and how they could become such a huge part of someone’s life. You had pondered the idea, thought of all the traditions your family had as you grew up (dinner every Sunday, late night movies on Saturday) and decided that when you got older you wanted your very own tradition.
As if you had wished upon a star, your request was granted. You just never imagined your tradition would be so unusual, and not only that, but the fact that it was caused and created by the cute guy with the killer dimples who had handed you your drink at the campus café on your first day of class.
→ Age 22
It was accident, you knew that, of course you did. Namjoon wouldn’t have spilt his drink all over your favorite shirt on purpose if he still had the urge to see you again for a fourth date. With this knowledge, you tried your best to soothe the fumbling man in front of you, hands resting on his shoulders as you attempted to get it through to him that you were not mad in the slightest, in fact it was almost funny that you now smelt of cola only a minute or so after saying you were craving a glass of it.
Pulling on the sweater Namjoon had immediately handed over to you, you move to sit beside him, eyes flickering over to the other people sat around the outdoor patio. None of them seem to have caught on to Namjoon’s obvious distress and you use this obliviousness to call over the waiter and ask for the bill, apologizing for the slight mess on the floor. The guy waves it off with a kind smile and once the bill is paid for, you take Namjoon’s hand in your own and lead him out to the main street.
“I’m sorry,” he blurts out instantly. “I ruined everything.”
You shake your head and tug on his hand, “No, you didn’t. It’s fine Namjoon, the date is not ruined.” He goes to open his mouth but you place a finger of his lips, giving a firm shake. “No buts, now come on, you promised me a walk along the river before the sun sets. We have ducks to see.”
The rest of your date goes by great, you manage to catch a few glimpses of the ducks and their babies before the sun begins to set over the horizon and you spend the rest of the walk back to your apartment cracking jokes, telling stories from your first year of university while simulations trying to assure Namjoon everything is okay when he asks every once and a while if you’re uncomfortable with your wet shirt.
Coming up to your apartment, you take a quick glance up at the sky which is now a dull black, tiny stars beginning to filter into existence, and smile over at Namjoon. “Thank you for tonight.”
Namjoon blinks and immediately he’s motioning towards your shirt. “I’m sorry, once again, for your shirt. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, dry cleaning? I can pay for the dry-cleaning bill if you’d like?”
You glance down at your shirt and shake your head, “It was only a twenty-dollar shirt, I’m sure a cycle in the washing machine will have it good as new.” He opens his mouth-“But, if you want to do something then…An apology cake. You can make it up to me by buying an apology cake.”
The night ends with a quick kiss and a hug that leaves your entire body soaring as you tuck yourself into bed that night. You replay the events of that day, try and remember the feel of his hand in yours and the way he smiled at you, dimples on display and you fall asleep that night to dreams of kind eyes and warm hugs.
You end up forgetting all about the incident, the cola disappearing from your shirt after one wash just like you had expected, which is why it’s such an unexpected surprise when you open your front door a week later to find Namjoon standing in the hall, a box from the local bakery Jin works at clasped in his hands. He smiles, kisses your cheek and seems almost proud of himself as he pulls off the lid to reveal a vanilla cake; a vanilla cake with the words ‘I’m sorry I spilt juice on our favourite shirt’ written in clear, neat hand writing on the top.
It’s a beautiful cake, you can tell Jin has put a lot of effort into making the decorations pristine, as expected of one of the head cake decorates in your area.
“Do you like it?” Namjoon asks.
Staring down at the cake and then up at the guy who has seemingly swept you off your feet in less than two months, you nod and pull him into a kiss. “I love it,” you admit because you do. “It’s perfect.”
→ Age 26
The tears have dried long ago and you are now left in a state of misery, body nothing but exhausted as you curl up onto the couch. It had been a few days since you had last seen Namjoon and the memories of that day, of that fight, ring through your mind crystal clear. It’s so easy to recall his words and your own words that you had screamed at him before the sound of the apartment door slamming shut rings through the silence.
You’ve had time to think, time to process everything and you understand that what happened had been nothing more than overreaction because you were more than sure that you did not want to end your relationship on this note.
It is with this thought that you go to Jin’s bakery the next day and order a cake. It costs $30 and when Jin hands it over to you forty minutes later, you wonder if it’s your figment of imagination when you see the slight twinkle in his eyes.
You text Namjoon that night and he shows up an hour later with a regretful expression and a box in his hands. You end up staring at the box and the cake you know is inside and then you’re laughing, entire body shaking as you lead Namjoon inside and to your own cake which sits on the table.
After everything has been discussed and a few more tears have been shed, you each move to the dinning room table and exchange cakes. One is vanilla, the other chocolate. They are both beautiful and carefully decorated and though the writing on each one is different, the same message is conveyed. ‘I’m sorry for being a dick’ Namjoon’s reads. ‘I’m sorry for everything’, yours says. You sit at the table and enjoy the cakes and know that there will be hurdles in this relationship but you have the love and strength to overcome whatever may be placed in your way.
→ Age 29
It’s four pm on a Thursday when you walk into the bakery only ten minutes from your house. It’s large, people hustling as they work behind the counter; some at cash ringing out customers while others are in the back preparing the desserts for the six pm rush that usually appears as many head home from work. You pause by the counter and give a wave to one of the men at cash and receive a quick notice that it will take no more than a minute.
True to his word you are not standing there for more than thirty seconds before Jin appears from behind the back. He smiles wide and immediately pulls you into a tight embrace and you realize that this is the first time since you placed the order that he has seen you.
“Congratulations Y/N,” Jin exclaims and you can tell from the way that he bounces on his toes that he is excited for both you and Namjoon. “Usually it’s Joonie that orders a cake so I was surprised when you called but I know he’ll love it.”
You grin, “I’m hoping. He should be arriving home in an hour.”
Jin tells you he’ll be right back and as he goes to fetch the cake, you glance around the bakery once more, pride swelling deep within at all that Jin has accomplished.
“One chocolate cake.”
These cakes have become such a part of your life with Namjoon over the years and you cannot help but smile at the familiar packaging. “This is amazing, thank you Jin. How much do I owe you?”
Jin shakes his head and wraps you in another hug. “On the house,” he explains, “now go and don’t forget to call, we all need to get together to celebrate.”
You flash Jin a final wave before leaving and it’s not until you are just pulling into a parking space for your apartment that you realize how nervous you are. It is natural, you understand that, and you are aware that Namjoon will more than likely be ecstatic at the news however, there is still room for the nerves to settle low in your stomach.
Walking to the elevator, you try to keep your breathing calm and it’s only when you close the door to your apartment that you realize this is it.
“Hey babe,” Namjoon calls from down the hall. You hang up your coat, set the cake on the kitchen counter and try to remember how to breathe. “How was your day?” His footsteps echo down the hall and you give a final nod of your head, forcing the nerves down, and straighten up to greet him. “Oh, a cake!”
You lean up to accept his kiss as Namjoon comes to a stop beside you. “My day was good, a bit boring. How about yours? And yes, I stopped by the bakery to say hi to Jin and picked one up.”
“Same old,” Namjoon replies, eyes never leaving the box. Usually you would try and keep him from eating a piece before dinner but this is no ordinary cake and you honestly don’t think you could last that long. You give him a nod and then he’s opening the box, leaning forward and reading.
There is silence. You wait and watch, take in the way his entire body tenses as he reads the words over and over again until you’re sure he has them memorized.
“Namjoon?”
“You’re pregnant?” He asks, backing away from the cake to stare at you in disbelief. You nod. The next thing you know he’s crushing you against him, lifting you off your feet to spin you around as he makes a noise of excitement. “You’re pregnant!”
All at once the nerves are gone and in it’s place is warmth and love and happiness because this is it. This is the first step to starting a family with Namjoon.
That night, after dinner has passed and you are both curled up on the couch under the afghan, Namjoon cuts into the cake with the words ‘sorry but you’ll have to wait 7 ½ more months to meet me’ above the picture of your first ultrasound and you can only laugh as he spills the first fork full onto the blanket.
There are many more apology cakes that get exchanged during your life with Namjoon, some come at odd times with little to no reason except for following through with a craving for cake; in most cases those usually say nothing but ‘Sorry, I wanted cake’. Sometimes the cakes do have a reason for their purchase. Maybe there was an accident or a certain dress getting ripped during foreplay or perhaps like that one instant when you were thirty-five and tried to cook your own cake for Namjoon only for him to get sick when it was once again proven that you should not be let into the kitchen and you bought a cake the following week apologizing for making him sick. There were times the cakes were purchased to reveal news or share regret or simply to express your love for one another. No matter what incident or occasion led to the purchasing of a cake, the tradition was yours; it was beautiful and fun and something the two of you had created together.
→ Age 80
The days have passed by in a blur, weeks to months to years, and before you can even blink, acknowledge that age has caught up with you, you’re eighty. Your skin is littered with wrinkles, hair white, body tired and a bit sore. It is everything you imagined old age to be however, unlike your previous distaste for this natural phenomenon, you are happy; content with the life you have lived. There are so many beautiful memories, a vast amount of experiences all crammed into eighty years. You think back and know immediately that you would not change a thing.
“It’s hot out today, isn’t it?”
His voice is raspy, an octave lower and yet when you turn to face him, he is still handsome, still beautiful with those dimples and crinkled eyes.
“It is,” you reply. “Come sit.” Patting the seat beside you, Namjoon nods and only when he begins to move forward do you realize he has something in his hands. “What are you-is that what I think it is.”
Namjoon sets his cane down and holds out the small box, the familiar packaging giving away what’s inside. This cake is vanilla, small roses made of frosting placed delicately around the edges and the writing is purple, neat like always and you read the words over and over until you can feel the warmth from head to toe. I’m sorry but I will always love you.
He pulls your hand into his lap and nods towards the cake. “Do you like it?” He asks, mirrored words to what he said all those years ago.
You think back to your time spent with Namjoon, to the life and memories you were able to share and smile, responding like you did at the ripe age of twenty-four and like you would continue to do.
“It’s perfect.”