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You are no prude. You have had a handful of serious girlfriends and you’ve had the occasional one night stand when you were single.
But, sex with Alex was something else.
Your first time with her proved to be worth the wait, even when she insisted you put your clothes back on.
“Wow…” you breathe out as Alex chuckles.
“Rao, Maggie,” she says. “One would think I’m your first.”
“You’re my first in over a year,” you confess. “It was so worth the wait.”
Alex grimaces guiltily at you. “I’m sorry Kara hasn’t allowed us to be intimate before now.”
You shake your head. “No, Alex, no. Never apologize for Kara. She comes first and I understand that.”
Your girlfriend smiles at you. “You’re amazing, did you know?”
You shake your head again. “You’re the one with a kid, Alex. You’re the amazing one.”
You turn so you can properly see her in the darkened room. She’s lying on her belly and her tank top riles up enough that you can see the tattoo peeking under it. The moonlight is enough that you can distinguish the ink and you remember the surprise you felt when Alex took off her shirt and you saw that geek almost Doctor Danvers sports some ink.
You reach to her and start tracing the outline of the tattoo, pushing her top up.
It’s beautiful, albeit a little small.
You guess it’s a constellation, a constellation that goes from an inch above her tail bone to almost the middle of her back. The stars are lined up in a single line and are connected by a series of smaller dots. The biggest star is in the middle of the line and it’s surrounded by dots and lines all over.
Along the start line, there are some symbols you have never seen before and you have the suspicion this is just another hint of whom Kara is.
You know the little girl is not ‘normal’ but that doesn’t make her any less beautiful and lovable.
“What does it say?” you ask Alex softly.
Alex has her eyes close and she smiles. “It’s a love story. Well, half of it.”
Your eyes widen. You never pegged Alex as a romantic one. “Care to share?”
Alex’s eyes stay closed, but you can almost see the faraway look in her face.
“In the beginning there was chaos. The light was constantly fighting darkness and nothing made sense. Time passed and things didn’t change. Where light touched, darkness conquered. Where darkness lived, light entered. The war between them raged all over.
“And then came Rao. He was born when light overcome darkness and darkness overcome light. He was born in the instant neither won nor neither lost. He was born and suddenly surrounded by both light and darkness.
“But, he was different. Rao was a light being with a heart of darkness. He was darkness, but made of light. He was light, but tainted by darkness.
“And he was powerful. So powerful that light and darkness stepped aside and marvelled at him. He stopped the war and start putting things in order. He created the planets, the stars, the constellations, life. He made everything that was that is, that will. His breath allowed the birth of million types of life, of million of beings, of million of stars.
“But he was lonely.
“So he went to light and darkness. He asked for a favour, for someone to be with. He asked for a companion, a lover, a friend.
“And darkness said yes, as long as darkness could grace the being with its presence, not much, just enough to live. But light said no, as light wanted still to be the lord of everything and didn’t trust Rao or darkness. So darkness made Rao a body and Rao forced some of light into it as even when the light was bitter and angry, light still followed Rao’s command.
“And so Cythonna was born. She was made of darkness with a heart of light. She was all Rao wasn’t. While Rao brightened the days, allowing light to wander, Cythonna made sure the nights weren’t doomed while darkness played. While Rao was fire, Cythonna was ice. While Rao was life, Cythonna was death.
“And Rao loved Cythonna and Cythonna loved Rao and there was peace.
“But Rao was a being of light with a heart of darkness and Cythonna was a being of darkness with a heart of light… and light was not happy. So light plotted. And light waited. And light strike.
“One moment, light was Rao’s body and the next he was not. One moment light was Cythonna’s heart and the next he was not. And light expanded all over, taking what light thought was rightfully light’s. And darkness tried to fight, but darkness had grown weak since Rao came to life. And darkness could do nothing but be beaten by light, protecting Cythonna as good as it could.
“But Rao still was. He was still, within the light, and so he fought and so he fought, until light succumbed, until light was weak, until there was nothing other but Rao. No light… but also no darkness.
“As darkness was beaten by light and light was beaten by Rao, darkness was no more as light was no more. But Rao was and Cythonna, protected by darkness, was too.
“But life needed to go on and the beings that were created by Rao needed both darkness and light to survive. But there was no darkness and there was no light. There was just Rao, a being of light with a heart of darkness and there was Cythonna, a being of darkness with a heart of light.
“And so Cythonna, who loved the beings her Rao had created, decided to give Rao her heart to lighten the beings days. Without a heart of light, she could no longer rise during the day, but even so she gave it to him… knowing she was doing the right thing, knowing she was saving lives.
“Rao, devastated but so proud, gave Cythonna his heart, to help pass the nights and sweeten the sorrow, as with his body of light wouldn’t be able to be up at nights. He knew the moment Cythonna gave him her heart that they would no longer able to see each other… that they would simply love from afar.
“And so, Rao hung Cythonna’s heart in the sky and Cythonna did the same with Rao’s heart. Cythonna’s heart was so grand and full of love that it never stopped giving light, even when it changed colours, even when it grew old. Rao’s heart, however, with time was consumed by grief and sorrow. But Cythonna’s love was so powerful that she took Rao’s heart and start reflecting Cythonna’s love back at him, to let him know he was still loved, he was still cared for. Sometimes, she managed to send the message, sometimes, she did not, but even so her heart still shone for him and his beings.
“Centuries passed and the beings began calling Cythonna’s heart Rao and Rao’s heart Cythonna, for it was what they were.
“Light.
“And darkness.”
Alex finishes her tale and you notice you are crying softly. “Alex, that’s, that’s so beautiful.”
Alex opens her eyes and you notice she too is crying. “I know,” she whispers. “The glyphs on my back, they tell Rao’s promise to Cythonna to never stop loving her: I, the one, swear to you, the only, to never stop, to never cease loving you. I swear to you, light in my darkness, to never let you go. To always love you.”
You can’t stop it, you kiss her. You kiss her long and hard as you try to chase her tears, your tears away.
“God, that’s amazing.”
She nods. “I got it after Kara came to live with us. She reminded me that love it’s the most powerful power in the world.”
“You are amazing, Danvers,” you whisper as you kiss her again.
Alex smiles against your lips, “you are not so bad yourself, Sawyer.”
Your heart soars. Maybe, just maybe, you can really have a future with this woman.
Maybe, just maybe, she can be the Cythonna to your Rao.