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They've become rather good at non-verbal communication over the years, even if Patsy could still be oblivious some of the time, good enough in fact that Patsy knows exactly what Delia is feeling right now. From the set of Delia's shoulders, the stiffness of her gait, the down turned quirk of her rosy pink lips, and the sheen of tears being held back as she walks towards her, eyes looking everywhere but at hers, blinking rapidly to keep tears at bay.
Patsy wants to reach out, to soothe, to throw her arms around her and not let go. When Delia reaches out and clasps her hand Patsy relaxes slightly at the contact; as she's pulled further away to the relative privacy the wall allows she's sheepish, has regrets. Her decision to write less, to shield herself and Delia from her fathers pain, to get back as quickly as possible without time to send word ahead. But she's here now, and though she knows Delia is mad, hurt too, the comforting warmth of her hand in hers, and even just being in her presence has made her feel better than she has since before she left. And it's not fair, for her to feel so happy, and Deels to be so hurt. The wounded look in her eyes is like a punch to the gut and Patsy tries to explain. It's stilted but no less true and when she says Delia will be coming with her and she sees the relief and love in her eyes she needs more, more contact than their hands entwined and their eyes locked, and she takes a risk, tugging Delia forward by her lapel so their lips meet. It's like coming home. It's like finally coming up for air. It's like she's been treading water and suddenly she can swim. It's all the cliches rolled into one.
It's Delia that pulls back, her eyes still glassy but this time with a much happier glint. There's a small smile on Delia's lips as she pulls back, taking both of Patsy's hands in hers and Patsy's eyes are still glued to her lips. She wants nothing more than to fall back in to another kiss, but Delia smirks, squeezes her hands, turns away and their hands drop off as she moves.
"We best be off." She murmurs, wanting nothing more than being able to stay there just the two of them but they're exposed here in the open, and it's Barbara's wedding and everyone is here. They have time to be together later. They have time. They have time because Patsy's back, and from now on it's together.
Patsy wants to grab her hand as they walk, has to stuff her own in her pockets to force herself not to. She wants contact, she wants Delia. When Delia lifts her case with a smile and a "I'm so glad you're home." Patsy is charmed.
"I can't believe you kissed me on the street." Delia mock admonishes with a chuckle, still not sure if this is really true.
Patsy blushes, her chin dropping to her chest. "I missed you."
Delia's smile beams. "I missed you too." She bumps her shoulder against Patsy's, making her look up at her through her lashes and Delia wishes she could kiss her again, but she can't. So instead she says, "You missed Barbara's wedding. She was a beautiful Bride. She'll be moving in to the rectory, and Valerie's taken your old bed."
Patsy's heart flutters, if they can swap with Phyllis they could share and after months without Delia near her she couldn't think of anything better than living by her side behind the same door. From the look on Delia's face she's thinking the exactly same thing, and Patsy can't wait.
Patsy knows they still have lots to talk about. And they will, but here and now is not the time or the place so she hopes Delia can see all that she's not saying from the look in her eye and steers them towards the bright lights of the carousel.
It's Trixie that spots her first. She's on the merry-go-round with a little girl and Patsy knows she's missed plenty. The high pitched squeal that Trixie makes when they make eye contact is almost comical and the speed at which she jumps off and scrapers over to her is faster than Patsy thinks she's even seen her move.
The others turn at the commotion and then it's a sea of friendly faces, of family, welcoming her home, and there beside her the whole time is Delia, who laughs and jokes along with the rest but who Patsy knows is still processing, is drinking in her presence and assuring herself it's real.
As Sister Julienne tells her that her post is still available, and a bed can be arranged Delia drifts away from her side and Patsy watches her go, unable to bear being anywhere far from her. She watches as Delia joins Phyllis who takes her hand and says a few quiet words. Delia laughs, smiles a beaming smile and Patsy's heart stutters at the sight. When Delia's eyes meet hers there's a happy sparkle in them once more and Patsy's beyond happy to see it.
She spends some time catching up with the nuns and the others, meeting Valerie and joking about her stealing her spot. She wishes Barbara and Tom best wishes and hugs her friend close. She's happy for them, they deserve to be happy. The condolences amongst the wedding frivolity are hard to swallow, she has to bite the inside of her cheeks to stop from crying, platitudes from her father's acquaintances didn't hit as close to home as a simple conversation with her adopted family.
She's drained and tired - she's spent the last few weeks cooped up on a boat and she hasn't slept in the last 48 hours at least, but Delia's chatting with Trixie and her new beau's daughter and Patsy can't help but stare. She feels like she's still drinking the sight of Delia in. Her feet are propelling her towards her before she consciously makes a decision to move. Sister Winifred intercepts her and she's drawn into a story about driving lessons. Sister Winifred is confiding that she's not sure she could try again, and Patsy's trying to stifle a yawn, when there's a warm hand on her arm, giving it a quick squeeze.
"Tired Pats?" Delia questions, concern lacing her voice, but when Patsy looks over she notices the slight smirk on her lips and furrows her brow in question.
"Absolutely. 3 weeks on a ship doesn't make for much beauty sleep." She quips.
"Well, since Valerie has replaced you, and Barbara won't be here tonight she's offered you her bed. I can help you unpack?" Delia trails off with a soft smile.
They bid everyone good night and let themselves inside. The heavy door closes with a click and the house is silent compared to the fair ground outside. Delia takes Patsy's hand in her free one and leads her up to her temporary bed. When the bedroom door shuts behind them Delia leans against it, her whole body sagging as she watches Patsy fuss with a loose thread at her pocket. She's nervous, can't quite look at her for long, her eyes skirting to make eye contact and away again just as suddenly.
"I don't want to talk about it tonight Pats." Delia whispers, taking a step towards her and catching her hand again, stilling the fidgeting. She squeezes and Patsy looks up, her eyes full of sorrow.
"I'm so sorry I worried you Deels, and I meant what I said. Wherever you go, I go."
"And I you." Delia whispers back, her voice cracking as her tears finally slip down her cheeks. She sees Patsy's eyes soften further and then she's leaning forward, bringing her hands to Her cheeks and kissing tears away with murmured words of love and a few tears of her own. Delia nudges Patsy's nose with her own, giving her a nudge when there's knocking on the door. They spring apart, Patsy straightening her shirt and Delia hastily wiping her cheeks. Patsy clears her throat and answers the knock with a "Yes?"
It's Phyllis' head that pokes around the door a few seconds later and Delia is thankful.
"'ll take your room Delia, give you two young'uns time to catch up." She says, bustling in to pick up her night clothes and depositing a pair of familiar teal pyjamas in Delia's hands.
Patsy's speechless, unsure on their luck, while Delia couldn't be more thankful to her friend. "Thank you Phyllis." She replies, sharing a warm smile with her as she leaves. She'll need to tell Patsy about her, but for now, when she looks back up as the door closes over again the only thought she has is of kissing the surprised smile on Patsy's face. So she does.
There's plenty of time to talk tomorrow. Tonight she needs to feel close to the woman she loves, she needs to feel seen and known again. She pulls back, smiling as Patsy's body automatically gravitates forward to stay as close as possible.
"Welcome home."