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When Daichi had heard that Asahi had been in a fight, he could have sworn that his heart stopped.
It took less than ten minutes for Daichi to drive to the hospital where Asahi was, his heart pounding relentless in his chest at the mere idea that Asahi was there, alone, and probably terrified. Daichi pushed the doors of the E.R. open and beelined for the front desk, his hands sliding onto it as the receptionist looked up at him.
“Asahi...er, ah, Azumane Asahi...I’m here for…” Daichi’s mind was in shambles and his words reflected as much, though the nurse seemed to understand.
“Okay, and your name?” She asked, pulling out a sheet of paper.
“Sawamura...uh, Daichi,” he answered, shifting anxiously where he stood, “I’m...I’m his boyfriend,” he told the nurse. The minutes seemed to stretch on for an eternity while the nurse shuffled through the paperwork she had sprawled on her desk.
The nurse looked at him and sighed a little bit, “technically, I’m only supposed to let family in to see him but…” she trailed off, “it’s late, and you’re the only one who’s come for him so far, and I can see you’re worried sick, so I’ll let it slide.” She told him with a little half smile, Daichi relaxed visibly.
“Thank you so much,” he murmured, trying to bestill his beating heart. He followed close at her heels as she lead him down the long hall to where Asahi’s room was. When they stopped outside the door, he looked to her. “Do...do you know what happened?” He asked, wringing his hands nervously.
“According to the paramedics and the witnesses on the scene, a group of guys mugged him. It must have been a pretty brutal fight because the back of his head was bleeding something fierce, I’m guessing it got hit against a wall or something,” the nurse told him, looking up at him a little bit. Daichi felt like he was dying with every word of explanation she gave, he only nodded slowly in response and waited for her to open the door. Once she did, he wasted no time in entering, immediately making his way to Asahi’s bedside.
What Daichi saw made it feel as though his heart had stopped all over again.
Asahi was dead asleep, only the soft rise and fall of his chest and the gentle beep of the heart monitor told Daichi that he was indeed alive. Bruises sprawled across his face, painting it in a sickening blue, black and purple. There was a ghostly white bandage wrapped tightly around his head, disturbing his long hair. His beautiful long hair. And for the first time in his life, Asahi looked small laid up in that bed with cold, unfeeling sheets surrounding his body in a canvas colored coffin.
Daichi only dropped into the chair that was positioned at Asahi’s bedside, his hands trembling ever so slightly as they hovered just above Asahi’s own limp hand. The nurse stood just in the entrance, looking at the two of them sympathetically. “I’m afraid he hasn’t woken yet, but perhaps your presence here will help.” She gave a little smile of encouragement. “Let us know if anything changes or if there is a problem,” she said softly before ducking out of the room.
Daichi turned back to Asahi and curled his hand around the limp one that laid on the bed. His thumb stroked slowly over the top of the appendage as he looked at Asahi sorrowfully.
“Wake up, Asahi...please,” he begged, giving a little squeeze to the larger hand within his own.
It was then that Asahi’s eyes began to flutter, as if Daichi’s soft spoken words had summoned him out of his comatose state. Daichi leaned forwards, giving a nervous squeeze to Asahi’s hand again while he watched the gentle giant in front of him stir. When Asahi’s deep, chocolate colored eyes peeled open, Daichi felt his heart swell and his body relax. Asahi was awake he was okay.
“Where...where am…” Asahi murmured, he looked around in almost a haze, his brows furrowing in confusion as he tried to make sense of his surroundings.
“Asahi...you’re in the hospital, you were attacked and hit your head pretty hard, you’ve been unconscious for about two hours,” he told him. His thumb continued to rub over the top of Asahi’s hand soothingly, Daichi never wanted to let go of Asahi ever again after today.
Asahi’s brows furrowed further, “the hospital?” He asked, turning to look at Daichi again. Daichi nodded slowly but frowned when he only saw more confusion enter Asahi’s eyes upon setting his gaze on him.
Daichi shifted, “Asahi...what do you remember?” He asked, a creeping feeling of fear starting to pulse through him. Why did Asahi seem so confused? Why didn’t Asahi seem to recognize him? Surely...surely he could remember, right?
“Um,” he looked down, trying to remember, “not much, I remember my head hitting something hard and...that’s it. I don’t...remember anything else,” he admitted, looking up at Daichi again.
“Do...do you remember who I am? Where we are? Who you are?” Daichi pressed further, his heart started to race relentlessly again as he began to fear the worst.
Asahi studied Daichi for a few moments but shook his head slowly, “no, I...I don’t, I’m sorry...you look familiar but...that’s it.” He murmured, “should...should I remember you?” He asked, biting his lip ever so slightly with anxiety.
Daichi wanted to break down right then, but managed to contain himself for Asahi’s sake. He figured the last thing Asahi needed was to see Daichi cry, even if he didn’t remember them. “A...Asahi...I’m Daichi, you’re boyfriend...we’ve been dating for almost a year now,” he told him, “please, you have to remember…” he begged, trying to keep his voice from trembling too much or from letting tears flood into his eyes.
The long haired man who sat before him only shook his head again, “I’m sorry…I really don’t remember.” Daichi dropped his hand away, feeling as though it was made of lead.
“I’m...I’m going to go get the doctor,” Daichi said numbly, pulling himself up out of the chair and over to the door. He felt as though he was in a haze, not really within himself but watching him from a third person point of view. He twisted open the door handle and looked around before walking down to the receptionist’s desk. He told them what all had just happened and was soon instructed to go and sit down in the waiting room until they came for him again.
About half an hour later, a doctor came out and called Daichi forwards. The short haired man still felt halfway out of it, but was able to pull himself together enough to listen to what the doctor had to say.
“So, it looks like Azumane-san is suffering from retrograde amnesia. Due to the damage that has occurred on the hippocampus, he is unable to remember anything that has happened over the last few years. He’ll remember childhood events, but that’s it.” The doctor explained, placing a hand on his hip.
Daichi really felt like crying now, but still kept it at bay, “will...will the memories ever return?” He asked, looking for any source of hope.
“It’s possible, it’s not unheard of for those who are suffering from retrograde amnesia to regain their memories, but it will take a while and be very difficult. Fortunately, the treatment is covered in insurance so it’s just a matter if he wants to or not.” The doctor continued, shifting onto his opposite foot.
“I’ll...I’ll do everything I can to help, I just,” he swallowed, “I just really want him to remember…” he trailed off, looking down and pushing a hand through his hair.
“If Azumane-san agrees to the treatment, then we’ll do everything in our power to help him regain his memory, I assure you, Sawamura-san.” The doctor looked at him sympathetically, “I know you want him back, and I’m sure he wants to remember. Don’t give up hope, alright?” He said softly, placing a comforting hand onto Daichi’s shoulder. Daichi looked up at the doctor and gave a hapless little nod. The doctor glanced to the room before looking back to Daichi, “you can go in and see him, if you like, he already knows everything I’ve just told you, so don’t worry about that.”
Daichi nodded again and pushed past him, slipping into the room once more. “Asahi?” He asked softly, swallowing against the tears that threatened to creep up his throat and spill from his eyes.
Asahi looked up at him and shifted in his spot, “um...hey...Daichi, was it?” He asked, unsure and even a little anxious. Daichi sucked in a stuttering breath and moved himself to sit next to Asahi in the chair adjacent to the bed.
“Yeah...yeah, that’s me,” he murmured, staring down at his fidgeting hands. “So, the doctor told you everything then, yeah?”
The larger man nodded, “yeah, I think, I think I’m going to do it, I...I want to remember, I want to remember you…” he told Daichi, trying to give him just a little, hopeful smile.
Daichi couldn’t keep back the sob that left him, unable to stop the tears tumbled down his cheeks. He wasn’t even really sure why he was crying. Perhaps the time he spent trying to keep the tears back was wearing down at him, or perhaps it was the crushing sadness of the fact that his boyfriend didn’t remember him. Perhaps it was even the little bit of hopeful joy that sparked when Asahi said he wanted to remember.
“I...I want you to remember too, and I promise to help you no matter what.” He leaned forwards and tentatively took Asahi’s hand in his own once more, “I’m not going to give up on you, on us, okay? We’ll get your memory back, I’m going to make sure of it,” he told Asahi determinedly. Tears still leaked down his cheeks but he didn’t seem to notice much, all he cared about was getting Asahi the help he needed.
Asahi’s own tears began to drip down his cheeks, tumbling off his strong jaw into the hospital gown that he had donned. He didn’t say anything more and only nodded, returning the squeezing embrace of Daichi’s hand. The two sat in silence for awhile, just letting their tears drip softly and whether either of them let out a few stray sobs, they didn’t care. Eventually, the lull of sleep began to pull at the both of them and soon, they were both out cold, Asahi’s hand still in Daichi’s while he slumped forwards, his head resting against his chest.
Daichi wasn’t sure if they’d be able to reach their goal, but he knew that no matter what, he was going to stay by Asahi’s side through everything. He refused to give up on him, even if it meant they had to rebuild their relationship from scratch.