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THE PRINCE’S NEW BEAU?
The Queen’s matchmaking ball for our dear Prince Castiel took an unexpected direction last night! After a few (awkward) dances with the prettiest girls modern royalty has to offer, the prince dashed off to the loo and returned with a surprise guest: a handsome young man in a servant’s uniform. Scandalous! Jaws dropped right into the caviar when those two took the floor; our inside sources tell us the Prince didn’t dance with anyone else for the rest of the ball, even when our mystery man was reportedly dragged back into the kitchen by an angry cook.
Well, color us intrigued! We here at Global Gossip Magazine have long since theorized the dashing young Prince’s preferences might lie in trousers rather than skirts, but this juicy bit of news clearly confirms it. So just who is Castiel’s Cinderella man? A cook? The stable boy? The housekeeper with a key to the Prince’s room (wink wink)? Stay tuned to upcoming issues as we follow this gossip with dogged determination!
(Pics of the mystery boy: Page 8)
(See also on Page 10: Prince Gabriel finds a girl?)
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CASTIEL’S MYSTERY MAN REVEALED!
Our intrepid reporters here at The Royal Star have done it again; after weeks of investigation, we’ve discovered the identity of the charming young man who cut right into a dance with Prince Castiel at the matchmaking ball, stealing him straight out of the arms of Princess Louise. Such a bold move might have been expected of a foreign prince, but we’ve discovered him to be none other than the Queen’s royal dishwasher, Dean Winchester! The prince and the servant boy… could it be anymore like a fairytale? We managed to catch Dean on his way into the palace the other day, and we can confirm: he is quite the looker! Blurry pics from the night of the ball just don’t do him justice: hair like burnished gold, green Disney princess eyes, and the jawline of a Greek statue… we sure can’t blame the Prince for falling for this one!
Dean refused to comment on his relationship with Castiel, but his brother, Sam Winchester, did tell us, “I always knew Dean was a princess!” Dean subsequently smacked him on the back of the head, but hey, if the shoe fits! Could this blossoming romance be a sign of true love? Keep an eye on our future issues to find out!
(Pictures on Page 12)
(Page 15: Gabriel’s messy break-up!)
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PRINCE CASTIEL’S ROYAL DATE NIGHT!
Last night, the Crown Prince Castiel, our country’s pride and joy, was spotted on a dinner date with his cute new boy, Dean Winchester. Although the two have been rumored to be together since the night of the ball where Dean, a royal waiter, served Castiel a piece of pie so delicious the Prince insisted on dancing with him, this was their first public appearance together! Castiel wore an outfit straight from the catalogs of the royal designer. Dean’s threads were admittedly more modest, but he was sure still cute!
Unfortunately the press was prohibited from entering the restaurant- the home of our city’s best spaghetti bolognese and most romantic lighting- but the couple emerged holding hands, so the date went assuredly well. And, oh, was that a hint of blush we detected on Dean’s cheeks in the light of our camera flashes? All the more endearing! Move over, Brangelina; there’s a new celebrity OTP in town, and we at People Weekly have termed it “Destiel”!
(See Page 5 for date night pics)
(Also: Might Prince Gabriel have his eye on the younger Winchester? See Page 7!)
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TROUBLE IN DESTIEL PARADISE?
Well, well, well, it seems we might be hitting a rough patch in Prince Castiel’s long-running relationship with his boyfriend, royal footman Dean Winchester. Surely such a perfect romance can’t be destined for failure! We all remember their dramatic meeting, when Dean burst into the ballroom on horseback to sweep Castiel off his feet. But trustworthy sources have informed us at LifeStyle Magazine that Dean has been fired from his palace position and Prince Castiel has not had contact with him since. We were able to snag a quote from Dean on his way into his house last night: “It wasn’t his fault.”
What wasn’t whose fault? We weren’t able to get an elaboration, for it was then that Sam Winchester pulled his brother into the house and shut the door and all the blinds, but we can speculate. Hmm… perhaps the Prince and the commoner were caught in a rather… compromising position? Maybe Dean has his eye on someone else in the palace; with a face like that, it surely can’t be easy to stay faithful. Or, could all this have something to do with the rumors that Dean is actually a foreign prince exiled from his country and disguised here as a commoner for his own protection? Only time (and incessant investigation) will tell!
(Photos of our poor lonely Dean on Page 4)
(Page 16: Is Gabriel responsible for Castiel’s misery?)
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SMOOTH SAILING FOR THE PRINCE AND HIS BOY!
Whatever storm was hovering over the royal palace and darkening Prince Castiel’s romance with Dean Winchester has clearly passed; the two were spotted in the royal gardens by Truelove Today ’s photographers! (The palace guards haven’t found out about our secret underground entrance yet- shh!) Clearly Prince Castiel finds it hard to stay away from the boy who serenaded him with Queen’s “Somebody to Love” at the ball a year ago where they met- and who can blame him?
Whether Dean has been reinstated as a royal employee is uncertain… but one of our informants hints he may have been promoted to Castiel’s personal manservant. Well, it would certainly give Dean full access to the Prince’s quarters and plenty of alone time with His Royal Highness! And who knows, some people are into subservience… In any case, after a romantic stroll through the flower beds (handholding included- sigh ) the couple took a little sailboat onto the royal pond where we caught them during a fairytale kiss! My, my, you know how we love to see those boys blush- and it was certainly worth being forcibly escorted off the grounds by palace guards. What’s a little treason when it comes to witnessing true love, hm? It’s sure to be all roses from here!
(EXCLUSIVE photos on Page 10)
(Page 13: Gabriel’s ex-girl pregnant?)
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A ROYAL WEDDING!
The birds are shining, the grass is green, and love is in the air! We here at The Lustrous Chronicle know this day has been a long time coming, and did whatever we had to to be front and center for Prince Castiel and- that’s right- Prince Dean’s wedding day! Our dear boys have just made history as the first same-sex official royal couple, one day meant to be our kings. They’ve come a long way from the day they met, when Dean cross-dressed in order to be let into that retrospectively ridiculous matchmaking ball!
The ceremony was absolutely gorgeous, everything bedecked by the kingdom’s finest decorators, music provided by the Royal Orchestra, and our handsome princes dressed in dashing designer suits. Prince Gabriel and (future Duke?) Sam Winchester served as the best men- who else? After the ceremony, the newlyweds rode their gilded chariot to the reception at the palace, waving at the cheering crowds. We’ve never seen them so happy! A historic day for a historic couple, a true Cinderella story come to life. Whatever happens next, we know this princely marriage will be a happy one!
(Special Wedding Issue: pictures on nearly every page!)
(Page 25: When- and with who- will Prince Gabriel tie the knot?)
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“Well,” Dean said, tossing the tabloid magazine into the fireplace with all the rest. “At least they got one thing right.”
“Yeah?” Castiel said, looking up at him in the firelight. “What’s that?”
Dean leaned down and kissed him, smiled against his mouth. “I’ve never been so happy.”
Castiel grinned and yanked at Dean’s tie, pulling him down onto the bed. Outside, the kingdom celebrated on through the night; after all, everybody loved a wedding.
“You realize in a couple weeks they’ll be spreading rumors that one of us is pregnant,” Dean said.
Castiel laughed, and Dean kissed the sound out of his mouth.