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1st Month.
In January, the frosted air nipped at his nose and made his ears cherry. He bit his lip, and breathed in and out creating a small fog that wafted away. He missed her, but he hated her. It was a back and forth, black and white, switch that shut off and on repeatedly. One minute it was on, the other it was off. He was so angry with her. He was angry she beat him. He was angry she was stronger. He was angry she left.
He felt his eyes burn and well up with water, and so he clenched his jaw to hold it back. Why did she leave? Why did she leave without telling him where she went? He swallowed as there seemed to be something stuck in his throat. The sharp air caught in his chest. Winter was her favorite season. He remembered how she adored the colorless snow and always smiled at thin icicles. The cold never fazed her.
He, on the other hand, deeply preferred summer. A sweltering sun beat down on him, melting popsicles in their hands. She would sit there in the grass, wearing her white hat and sleeping. That was his favorite part. She looked helpless, and he wanted to help her. It was an unspoken attraction, at least for him, which he periodically denied. She was his rival, or what he liked to think she was. He knew that in truth she was more than one step ahead of him, and not catching up hurt him immensely. He wanted even. By sheer desire, he somehow twisted his mind around the idea she was meant to be even. And it made him mad, especially when she began to go out of reach.
She wasn’t allowed to do that. She wasn’t allowed to go away from him. He had only one place for her set in his mind: near him, next to him, with him. But, being as she was, she didn’t like to stay in one place. He knew that. He knew that and yet he let his hopes rise over the moon and into space. He hoped she would stay. Standing outside her house, he kicked some snow up into the air. As the white beads fell back down to earth, he found himself frustrated and unhappy with the start of this new year.
2nd Month.
One of the months he despised the most. It was supposed to be a romantic month, full of chocolates and kisses. When they were kids, his sister forced him to make a valentine for the neighbor next-door. For that girl. The girl his grandpa doted on so much. The girl that gained a lead on him. The girl who loved her Pokemon unconditionally and glowed around them. She radiated happiness loving them.
When he gave her those valentines, she didn’t seem to particularly care for them. She thought it was nice, especially for him. He kicked dirt onto her skirt whenever he lost to her in games, saying she stank and that he wouldn’t lose the next time. He was rather rude. And so, his wrinkled, sloppy, paper valentine said something to her, something along the lines, “I don’t really hate you, I’m just a conceited jerk in nature.” After which, hesitantly taking the paper from his reluctant out-stretched hand, she smiled at him.
His eyes widened and his stomach simmered, she didn’t seem all that bad surprisingly. How she responded to his heart-shaped delivery rattled him.
“Thanks Green,” she said sweetly with a deep grin.
Suddenly his voice caught in his throat and he stumbled on his words. “Y-Yeah, don’t mention it,” he croaked, shoving his hands into his pockets. She was still smiling at him. He felt heat beginning to cover his cheeks. He swore puberty was the reason he croaked and stuttered.
Then he remembered, they were only 11 year-olds when that happened. It couldn’t possibly had been puberty he realized. Standing outside his gym, he stared at the couples that walked by, his eyes stuck on their arms interlocked. He shook his head, breaking himself from whatever odd trance he was in. Why was he watching couples, why was he thinking of her? He scrunched his nose. His chest felt like it had been filled with cement since it made him so heavy. A wave of frustration washed up on him. Why did he miss making those terrible paper valentines? Why did his sister stop forcing him to make them? …Why did they grow up? It wasn’t as if she was around to received them anyway. It wasn’t as if he would do anything for her during this month anyway. It wasn’t as if she… If she smiled as she did then, his chest would feel the sun shine from inside. In the month of couples, he didn’t realize he was missing her. That month was February.
3rd Month.
By this point, in March, he had not the slightest clue what to do. Challengers were scarce, at least ones that could last against him, and he found himself all the more frustrated since February. He thought, maybe his grandpa, the professor, knew where she was, but nothing would come out of that since the professor ignored him regularly. His frustration increased when he let his mind roam to the subject of his grandfather. It seemed as if he grew as disappointment to the professor just as the beautiful brown hair grew on his rival’s head. Over the years. This disappointment, that was him, became more and more dissatisfactory.
He attempted to give himself a boost of confidence, acknowledging that he did try. He tried to be better than her, he tried to make something of himself. Yet, no recognition would be sent his way by his grandfather. She obstructed his chance to shine every time. And he always claimed he hated her. He shook his head. He couldn’t possibly hate her, even if she ripped everything he wanted from his hands. …Maybe what he thought he wanted, was not truly what he wanted. What if the reason, he couldn’t bring himself to actually despise her, was that he wanted her…
He swallowed. He deeply breathed in. He closed his eyes. He wanted her? What was there to want? All she ever did for him, she made things difficult for him. She made life difficult for him. She was difficult. But she had this really soft voice. She had eyes so crimson like the sunsets in Cerulean City whenever he stared into them. Her smooth umber hair bounced in the air throughout their battles. He breathed out.
Since when had he noticed all these little details? Since when did she sneak into his head without his knowing? He smiled to himself, she always had a way to bug him, even when she wasn’t around. He preferred if she would have annoyed him in person. At least then he would be able to give her a piece of his own mind, as he did more than what should be allowed. His heart started to beat fast at the thought of seeing her. As the weather began to warm up, he felt his chest warm too.
4th Month.
April showers. He remembered that it was in this month his view on her changed. She ran into him outside Vermillion, and her face evidently had been burned by the sun. He asked her where her hat went, she said she had left it at the Center accidentally and that she would go back later. He smirked, telling her she was as red as a cheri berry. She glared at him and said he was so funny. Dark clouds quickly accumulated above their heads and they looked at each other with wide eyes as thunder sounded. They were eighteen.
The two teenagers ran as fast as they could to the nearest, rainless place. The place happened to be a big maple tree, sheltering them from the warm drops. It hadn’t mattered though, as the two had already soaked to the bone. His brown eyes watched her as water dripped off her nose and she wrung out her long hair. She spotted his stare from the corner of her eye, and she turned her head towards him. Her red eyes pierced into his, and his stomach fluttered.
“Yes Green?” she said to him with curiosity. He never looked at her the way he just did, therefore she found it strange and took wonder in it.
His breath caught near his heart, so he turned his head away and rubbed the back of his neck. “N-Nothing, just thinking about how your face must really sting…”
“Huuuh, you were thinking about that?” She smiled and brought her bright rosy nose and cheeks close to his. “It’s not like you to worry about how I feel.”
“I wasn’t worrying about how you feel—” he started in a fluster, but then saw the smile slowly fade from her face. “…I wasn’t worrying about how you feel… Just your face.”
“I see,” she replied as she moved away and shot her eyes down to the ground. “Thank you for worrying about my face.”
His chest tightened. How come she was so downcast suddenly? Her face drooped and her eyes clearly avoided his direction. It made him sick to see her upset.
“Leaf,” he began quietly, then the boy turned his red cheeks to face her. “I-I…”
“You…?” She moved close to him again.
His throat was afire unexpectedly. “I li—I li—”
“You lie? You like?” Her brown brows furrowed in confusion, but she seemed to be anticipating something.
“No… No, I—” His breathing became heavy. “I-I… live with my older sister still…”
“I knew that, Green,” she sighed.
“Yeah.” He bit his lip. What was he about to say? That he liked her? Not at all. He kept asking himself what was happening to him. He turned to her again, her attention paid to the downpour. She put her soft hand into the rain, and the clear droplets sprung off her palm. All of a sudden she started stepping into the wet weather, and he grabbed her by the arm.
“Leaf, you’ll get sick,” he said, clearly worried by the knots in his brows.
She smiled at him, “It’s cold, Green, my face feels better.”
The expression on his face softened as he let go of her arm and she walked into the rain. Water streamed down her cheeks and she laughed. “You should come out,” she called to him.
“I’m not stupid, I don’t want to get sick like you,” he replied with a smirk.
She smirked back, and such a look on her face surprised him. “Only stupid people would miss out on such wonderful rain.”
He played along and came out into the downfall. She was right, it was soothing rain. And the smile on her face was more comforting. She glanced at him, “See? Isn’t nice?”
“It is, I’ll admit.”
She stared at him and once again the smile faded from her face. But he noticed it wasn’t in sadness, it was odd. It was an emotion he had never seen her wear on her face before. He wasn’t sure… If he had to name it, he would name it admiration. Yet, he knew it couldn’t be possible for her to admire him. What if… Just what if, she didn’t hate him, after all?
“Do you hate me,” he said as her red eyes gazed into his, “Leaf?”
Although the rain showered around them, sound didn’t seem to exist when those words left his mouth. The young girl’s face softened.
“Of course not.”
In April, he thought again, his view of her really did change. The brunette who was in the rain beside him did not hate him. His eyes peered at the sky as he stood outside Vermillion City. With his hands in his pockets, he walked towards the same maple tree. He sighed. The humidity suggested rain to come soon. It’s going to rain, he thought. The sky slowly dripped its tears and he stood underneath the tree alone. As he stared at the rainfall, he wished he had been staring at his soaked girl. In April, the showers washed his eyes clean.
5th Month.
Those showers brought May flowers. She had once told him her favorite part about spring were the colorful plants that sprouted and she could spend every single day sleeping in the fields with the tall blades of green. He stayed with her just one time, just one day in May. They were thirteen.
At the time, he tremendously hated her. She had recently beaten Misty at Cerulean, brushing it off as if it had been nothing. He felt something stuck in his throat. She was so strong. It intimidated him. What? She intimidated him? He shook his head. She was just some sniveling brat with big, spirited eyes. Those eyes possessed more than he could imagine, and he knew that. He wanted to know what they held.
As she layed there in the grass, her white hat covered her eyes and a pretty little smile painted her lips. He could tell she was happy. With her arms and hands behind her head, she cleared her throat.
“Hey, Green,” she began with a yawn, “do you like me?”
He swore his heart stopped beating. Why was she asking him that? He smirked, trying to play it off although it truly rattled his bones. “Of course not,” he simpered as he fell down next to her. “Why? Do you have a crush on me or something?”
She laughed, and he felt a sharp pang in his heart. “No, not exactly, but I don’t understand why you pick on me so much.”
Her legs stretched out and covered her face more with her hat. “Makes sense now, you hate me,” she sighed.
“Now why would I like you? You’re just some twerp who my grandpa loves,” he said sitting back up. “You’ve done nothing to make me like you.”
“I don’t mean to make you dislike me,” she replied. “I’ve only ever wanted to be friends with you, too.”
That part surprised him. She thought a friendly relationship with him was possible? He plucked a blade of grass from the earth and rubbed it between his thumb and index. A soft breeze whirled past them and blew the green from his fingers. He felt he couldn’t breathe air next to her. His lips parted to speak as he turned to her, “Lea—” but he stopped as soon as he saw her sleeping. He thought he shouldn’t wake her.
“Yeah, yeah, wanting to be my friend but then falling asleep,” he scoffed quietly and picked himself up from the grass. “Smell ya’ later.”
He didn’t understand why, but the pang in his heart became sharper as he walked away from her. A strong breeze swiftly went through him and passed to her, sweeping the hat off her face and in the opposite direction of his. Although her eyes were shut, a few tears rolled down her cheeks. She, in fact, had not been asleep.
And he would never know that. He would never know he plucked the best flower that spring. Sitting on a bench in Celadon, he stared at the flower beds. He wished he could give flowers just as beautiful to her. He felt that pang when he was thirteen return.
6th Month.
The weather started to heat up inordinately and his throat dried. He sat outside his house underneath the sweltering sun. He stared at this town around him. It was a small town, not many people. He didn’t like it very much. She said she loved it. He found that interesting since he pinned her as the girl to love cities and be in the big world. The dirt beneath him cracked and parched, and that was all it smelled like. It smelled like dusty and dry dirt and dead grass patched the ground that would not grow back healthy. The summer weather did this to the town’s grass. The sign summer would be staying.
Sweat moistened his forehead and made his shoes unbearably wet. Why did she love this town so much? And why did she leave it if she did? His head turned down to the dead earth again. He knew why. There was no reason for him to keep asking that question. He knew all along, but denial was the only answer. Why did she love this town so much? She said she loved everything about it, the ground, the houses, the plants and trees. She made this part very clear: she loved the people.
Who was there to love so much? She definitely loved her mother, she was just friends with his sister, and his grandfather adored her. She never made any progress with him, however, except rivalry. She had never made any progress with him as he never let her close to him. He created some strange barrier he did not want her to break through, an element he would refuse to bring into his life. Her purpose in his life formed into something different from the stepping stone he pictured her to be, instead she became a roadblock he could never overcome.
He clenched his jaw and squinted his eyes in the bright sunshine. His sister came out with a glass filled with ice and his favorite drink. She gently gave it to him, and his hand held onto the cold beverage. He watched as the ice began to melt under the sun.
“Ah, I forgot your nomel berry wedge,” she said. “I’ll go get you one.”
She went back into the house and returned after a short minute, two yellow wedges placed onto a plate.
“Thanks, Daisy,” he mumbled as he took the fruit from the plate.
“I picked those with Leaf’s mom yesterday,” she began. “June is definitely the month to go berry picking.”
It was quiet as he squeezed the juice from the wedges. He then took a sip and the cold tea wet his dry mouth. It cooled his body.
“I wonder when Leaf will come back,” she said faintly, and then she went back into the house.
“Me too,” he told himself.
Then he realized. He agreed with his girl for once. Iced tea with nomel berries was also her favorite drink to have in June.
7th Month.
The month where Illumises would light up the night when the sun hid away. Although the sun was gone the heat still wafted into the air. He found the humidity uncomfortable. She wouldn’t wear her hat, and she would put her hair up into a ponytail. Something he had never seen before. He thought it looked…nice. He thought she looked nice. And that was all he would ever admit to. She sat behind her house staring at the night sky, and he stood next to her. They were sixteen.
Her breathing steadied while her red eyes stared at the night sky. And he stared at her. They stayed there while the Pokemon hummed through the air. He shoved his hands into his pockets, even if they were going to sweat in there. For some reason, he felt self-conscious around her. He didn’t want to look stupid. He swallowed.
“Hey, Leaf,” he started.
Her head turned and her eyes gazed up at him.
“Yes?”
The soft reply she gave drifted to his ears and he felt his cheeks turn ruby. “You know I don’t hate you anymore, right?”
The expression on her face loosened and her eyes slightly widened. He wore an intensely serious face, one she had never seen, and her chest pounded. Their eyes locked, brown on red.
“Green, I—”
“I know, I know, you hate me now,” he waved her off. “Don’t you?”
She stared.
“That’s all right, I don’t care,” he continued. “You’re just my rival anyway, and a terrible one at that.”
A smile graced her lips and she peered at the sky once again. He watched her. Why was she smiling? She let out a long sigh and hugged her knees. She looked down at the ground and circled the dirt with her finger.
“You know something, Green,” she said. She made a frowny face in the dirt.
“What?”
“No, never mind,” she laughed. “Just… Thank you for spending time with me tonight.”
He felt air catch in his throat and he didn’t know how to respond. She just kept surprising him. He felt hesitant to do it, but he smirked and raised his chin up.
“Of course you’re thanking me, I’m a pleasure to have around,” he sneered. He immediately regretted those words for some reason. They made his stomach twist. Yet, she faced him once again and he watched that pretty mouth curve upwards again. His heart drummed.
“You’re right,” she whispered.
He moved off the side of the house and gazed at her. “Goodnight, Leaf.”
Every bone in his body told him not to walk away, but he thought his heart would give out. He had not the tiniest idea why it felt that way. Why she made him feel this way. What had he been feeling? He strode to his house, went inside, marched upstairs without saying hello to his sister, and closed his bedroom door behind him. All he heard was the sound of his heart and all he thought about were her eyes on that hot July night.
“Goodnight Green,” she muttered, drawing a heart on the ground and then scratching it out.
8th Month.
In this month, she truly surpassed him. Standing on the steps of the Plateau, he closed his eyes and remembered her. Her umber hair behind her as she faced him, and afterwards he faced defeat. He had always told her she was behind him, but in truth—which he had known but chose to ignore—she had always been ahead of him. In power, in strength, in mentality, in… Personality, looks, smiles, voice, she was ahead of him in everything. He may had beat her physically to the goal, but he knew about the inevitable downfall she would deliver. At the Plateau, she delivered it. They were again eighteen.
He swallowed while he sat on the steps to the building. When she left, he would sit on those steps for hours and hours, hoping maybe she would turn up again for a powerful battle. But she didn’t. She never did. In crowds he always kept eyeing the heads, wishing for the possibility he’d see her white hat. He never saw it once. After his defeat, she had stayed around for a little. She did all those silly things a champion did, which surprised him. He never thought she’d be the girl to engage in public ceremonies and the like, the kinds he would have. He loved when the spotlight shined all over him.
For an odd reason, however, he particularly wanted the spotlight when she was around. He rolled with the idea he wanted that because she was his rival, and he needed to appear superior or better. He never considered the possibility he wished for the spotlight because he would have liked her to admire him. And when she started to stay in the spotlight, he wasn’t sure if she actually enjoyed it as he would.
Then he pondered the subject more, and it could have been that even he wouldn’t want the spotlight for that long as well. He felt he would grow tired of fangirls and cameras constantly. There wouldn’t be any time for himself, and he did enjoy pampering himself. With that thought, it suddenly struck him. What if she had actually been acting selfless? Giving every morsel of her attention to the public, and she would never have any alone time.
He realized that must have been awful and exhausting. Maybe she wanted a break. Did she ever have any breaks? He decided to visit her. He hoped she wouldn’t be busy—wait, he was hoping she wasn’t busy? What had he planned to do once he arrived at her house? And as he divided himself into two parts: one that wanted to be with her and the other that did not, he had already stood in front of her door. His hand knocked without his mind giving the command.
Her mother opened the door, a cheery grin on her face. “Why, hello Green!” she exclaimed. “This is a pleasant surprise! Leaf’s upstairs, I’m not sure what she’s doing but you’re welcome to head on up.”
“Uh, thank you,” he said as he slowly sauntered into the house with hands in his pockets. His heart started to beat fast. He glanced around. He hadn’t been inside her home for a while, but he soon noticed nothing had changed. It was neat and clean, and moderately quiet with the television on and the kettle beginning to boil.
“This is her first time home in a while!” her mother said with delight evidently behind her soft voice. She moved to the table and straightened some chairs. “She’ll be really happy you came to visit!”
He returned a sheepish smile and rubbed the back of his neck as he headed up stairs. As he stood outside her bedroom door, his fist raised to the wood. His stomach fluttered and goosebumps flecked across his skin. His hand softly touched the door as he wasn’t sure whether to knock or not, and it pushed the door open. It seemed the door had already cracked open, and a little force spread it out all the way.
His head emerged through the doorframe, and he looked both ways as if crossing the street. It was silent, and his eyes widened as he took notice of her body. She had collapsed onto her bed and slept soundly. He stepped forward and pulled out the chair from her desk, taking it as a seat of his own. He glanced all over the room, looking at her calendar. She had so many events planned, all throughout August. He returned his attention back to her. As he watched her, his expression softened and his heart beat faster with every second. He felt increasingly uncomfortable, like he had invaded a sacred haven of the sort.
He flinched when she moved over onto her side and saw that her brown locks were sopping wet. She must have just fallen asleep. She started to shiver. Anxiety rushed over him when he thought she might catch a cold, and before he knew it his body was close to her trying to pull covers atop her. He had no estimate on how much she would weigh as it had never occurred to him to think about that, and he discovered she was rather heavy.
Sweat moistened his forehead as he tugged the comforter under her, but he also had to make sure not to wake her. So he was, in fact, in a tight situation, as tight as the blanket she pinned to the bed. At last, he managed to removed the comforter and start to lay it on her body. He hadn’t seen it until then, but she had been wearing a short nightshirt to bed and her soft legs were almost completely exposed. He gulped and moved his eyes to the ceiling while her shirt continued to ride up. By that time he had thrown the covers on top of her and hurried back to his seat. She stirred once more in her bed and opened her eyes. In her tired vision she caught the shape of him and smiled.
“Hey, Green,” she croaked. “What are you doing here?”
He blinked, his cheeks were afire and his chest thumped. “N-Nothing, I just wanted to see if champion was too much work for you, ya’ know you can always give it back to me because I know you’re a weakling.”
She chuckled and gazed with gentle crimson eyes. He couldn’t breathe. Everything was still. She rubbed an eye and then they widened. Her brows furrowed and she sat up patting the blanket on her body. “Green, did you put this on me?” she asked puzzled.
Suddenly, he stood up and headed to her door. “No, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he answered nervously, shoving his hands back into his pockets. “Smell ya’ later.”
He exited the door and came down the steps quickly. Her mother smiled at him again.
“Hello again Green, would you like a snack?” She offered him a seat at the table but he walked straight to the door without looking at her. “My, you’re leaving so soon?”
“Sorry, I gotta go,” he hastily said and exited the house just as his rival tumbled down the stairs and watched the door close.
“I wonder what’s gotten into that poor boy,” her mother softly began. “Leaf, did you do something?”
“No, I don’t think so,” she replied. “Mom, did you put my comforter over me when I went to sleep?”
“Oh, you fell asleep? I had no idea.”
Her mother went to the kitchen to start dinner and turned the volume on the television up. His rival stared at the door and swallowed. Her heart throbbed while her mind spun with confusion.
9th Month.
September etched into his brain. He experienced a moment he never anticipated to happen in his life. He stood on Cinnabar Island and watched the waves. He yawned with his eyes on the water. He stared at his reflection in the water, realizing this was his second time coming back here after she left. It processed in his mind that it had now been quite some time since she left, although he felt more time had passed. It was here, on this very island, he last saw her. It was after that August he kept her warm, still eighteen.
He had been searching for more Pokemon for his grandfather, even though he wouldn’t receive recognition for it anyway. She had flown in out of nowhere, gasping for breath when she approached him. She walked towards him fast, blood rushed to her cheeks and her hand removed the hat from her head. She clutched the rim of the hat in her fist as she stared him in the eyes.
His chest pounded because she stood so close, he could feel her breath. She had surprised him, it wasn’t like her to come out of blue and ditch her responsibilities. Furthermore, it wasn’t like her to come see him. It then registered in his mind he usually came to see her. She seemed frantic, and therefore his throat choked with worry.
“Leaf—”
“I like you.”
She breathed out and swallowed. All he could feel was his heart and he stopped breathing.
“N-No, actually,” she started softly, her voice shaked. “I… I love you, Green.”
He saw in her red eyes that tears were ready to roll and her legs quaked. His body seemed to collapse on the inside. She must have mustered all the courage she had to confess these words, and he could not believe saying such words would make her weak. He could not believe such words were being admitted to him by her. He did not know how to respond. His mind went a hundred miles a second.
“I know, I-I get this must be so random and out of the blue,” she continued flustered. “I love you. I love how you always shove your hands in your pockets. I love when you scratch the back of your neck when you’re self-conscious. I love your smirk and your brown eyes. And lately, I had been getting the feeling, it might be possible, maybe, that you love me too.”
He opened his mouth, but he hadn’t been breathing and he became dizzy. She carried on with her words.
“Green… do you love me?” she asked quietly.
He couldn’t think, and all that left his mouth was “no.” And although he wasn’t feeling well, he saw her face shatter. She repressed tears and backed away from him.
“I see,” she sniffled. “Thank you for your honest reply.”
“Wait, Leaf,” he whispered as his breathing struggled.
She hadn’t heard him and fled from the island. His eyelids lagged and he felt himself lose balance. Afterwards, black was all he saw. His thoughts jumbled up in his mind, and all he tried to think of was her face. The face of this weak girl in front of him, a weak girl he didn’t recognize. A little while later, he awoke with a terrible headache next to a fisherman. He looked at the man in confusion.
“Oh, ‘yer awake,” the man said to him. “Found ‘ye over there on the ground, what happened?”
“I think… I think I made a mistake,” he groaned sitting up and a hand placed to his forehead. “A big mistake.”
His eyes gaped when he remembered the affair that had taken place. He witnessed a strong girl say words that made her weak. He also said words that broke her. It never occurred to him the power of those words, and that she had felt them about him. He glanced over at the man beside him.
“Hey, old man,” he began. “What should I do?”
“Well, if ‘ye made a mistake, better do whatever ‘ye can to make it right again.”
He sighed. He wasn’t sure how to do that at the moment. The girl who said those words made him faint. After that incident happened, he hadn’t heard from her or of her in quite a while. It also seemed she stopped making public appearances. He spent a lot of time ruminating on her words, and the fact that it had been words from her to him. Butterfrees became a real thing within his stomach.
Now, after all that time had passed from his mistake, he still hadn’t come to an answer to fix it. He felt he was coming close to it as he watched himself in the waves. He didn’t seem to think he was so incredible anymore. He found no interest in it, as he didn’t have a rival to flaunt himself to anymore. He put his hand in the ocean, wondering if the water was cold during September.
10th Month.
The leaves began to yellow and redden as this month passed by. They floated to the dead earth which he walked on, and his feet crushed them with a crackle. His eyes glanced up at the grey sky, sunshine had been a scarce thing when autumn arrived in Viridian. So had people. In the city no one particularly enjoyed spending time outside, and they preferred their leisure in warmer places such as Cerulean or Vermillion. He scoffed, he thought autumn in Viridian was one of the best qualities the city could offer. Trees surrounded the houses and buildings, they were encased in shades of yellow, red, and orange during autumn.
He reminisced his first time when the leaves fell like this with her, and he noticed that her deep crimson eyes matched the scenery. He ached to see that again. He ached to see her again. By this point, although he still had no answer to fixing his mistake, frustration built up because he felt it was so close. The answer just stared him right in the face, but he couldn’t see it. What could he do? He snapped a few leaves underneath his foot and rubbed them into dust.
That day, back in September, when he felt compelled to reach out to her after days of silence, his mindset took a strange turn. He stood in front of her house for several minutes, raising his hand to the door and then putting it back down. It had been a rinse and repeat cycle. He couldn’t bring himself to strike the door. Finally, he gently tapped the wood, and her mother opened the door.
His eyes widened as the woman before him wore a thinned face and glum eyes. His stomach simmered, something troubling happened.
“Good morning, Green,” she croaked, her voice was hoarse. “I’m sorry I look like this, please come in.”
Her hair balled up into a bun above her shoulders, loose strands fell all around. She sniffled as she half-pulled a chair out and teetered into the kitchen.
“Take a seat dear,” she sniffled. “I’ll make some tea.”
“Ah—” he wanted to ask where her daughter was, but his boiled stomach told him her distress involved the girl absent in the room. Therefore, he settled with a “thank you” instead, and took a seat. The room enveloped in silence, the television was off. Her mother never had the television off, she preferred white noise. She dragged her slippered feet across the wooden floor and sat in the seat opposite of him. She exhaled a small breath and gave him a tired smile.
“So, how can I help you?” she asked gently. “If you’re here to see Leaf I’m afraid to tell you—” she started to choke on her words and tears welled up, “—she’s not here…”
The woman began crying with her shoulders quivering. He sat there with his head down and his heart twisted. “I don’t know where she went,” she continued sniffling. “A few of her outfits are missing, her room is all clean, and her emergency money in her desk is gone.”
The tea pot screeched while steam shot from the trunk. She halted her crying and stood up wiping her eyes. The liquid was carefully poured into two mugs and she carried them over to the table. After placing one on each side, she assumed her previous position.
“I’m so sorry I am like this, I’m just very worried.”
“N-No, it’s completely normal,” he hesitantly told the woman. “I’m sure she’s just fine! She was my rival after all.”
That seemed to cheer her up. She gave him a smile. “Thank you, you’re right,” she said. “My Leaf is very strong, she can handle herself.”
He nodded. “Yes, she’s very strong.”
His eyes watched the steam from his tea slowly disappear as her mother asked him what he had been up to and how he was doing. He had just admitted his rival was strong. He always knew that, but he wondered if her flight was in cowardice or courage. After a while he stood up from the table, thanked her mother for the tea, and left the house. When he stepped outside, he felt a chill breeze brush his nose. Autumn had been coming.
He started to head out of Pallet as his grandfather called out to him. That had surprised him. His grandfather usually wanted nothing to do with him. He slowly walked towards the professor while the man hurried to him.
“Ah, Green,” his grandfather began happily. “I was wondering if you’d be up to accepting a job.”
He sighed, it probably had to do more with searching for Pokemon and he wasn’t sure if he would actually be inclined to do so. “What is it?” he asked.
“I received a phone call, it offered the position of Viridian Gym Leader to you,” he rasped. “I said I could call back after speaking with you.”
His eyebrows rose. Viridian Gym Leader… Now that he thought about it, it had been leaderless for a few months now. He also wanted something to take his mind off the destruction that he unintentionally might have caused.
“Yeah, sure, gramps,” he told him. “I’ll take it, maybe I won’t have to fight wimps.”
It had been such a long time since he took that position, he remembered. He walked through Route 1 just as he did when he accepted the role of gym leader. The leaves still flitted to the ground and cold air breathed through his body. Autumn finally arrived in October.
11th Month.
Unfortunately, or what he thought was unfortunate, autumn didn’t last long in Viridian. November became a quick transition to winter, although he was fine with that. He was all right, he was happy autumn was over and that the leaves turned brown. The red leaves reminded him too much of her eyes. Therefore, he welcomed the winter air with open arms but a chest full of melancholy.
It hadn’t matter though, that the season changed swiftly, because she still flooded his thoughts. She was everywhere, he could swim in the confused feelings she poured for him. He knew she was somewhere, and he wondered if she knew he was somewhere too. He had given up, however, on finding his girl. Time didn’t pass any faster after he took that role of gym leader. When he had taken on the gym, that was months and months ago. Before he knew it, he was back in another month of November even though it didn’t feel like it.
Yet, that gym did nothing for him. He ended up disappointed, weaklings challenged him over and over but they couldn’t even make it past one of his Pokemon. Only one challenger made it past him. She was this energized kid with brown pigtails who was rather nosy. She asked him all kinds of questions: why his name was Green, why he became the Viridian Gym Leader, why he was such a loner, why he was snotty and acted better than everyone. She did ask him one certain question that made him pause.
“Do you know where the Champion Leaf went?” she hummed.
He halted his legs, as he had been walking away from her trying to lose her. “No idea, better drop trying to find her, no one has been able to.”
“Did you try to?” she asked leaning in.
Of course he had tried. That September she went missing he spent the entire month searching for her, constantly calling her a loser under his breath for fleeing. And fleeing from him. She said she loved him, and he rejected her. So she had to leave? But her absence posed a terrible, puzzling question in his head: how did he feel about her? He also wondered if she still loved him wherever she was. He hoped she did. …He hoped she did? Why had he been hoping for that? Did he love that snot-nosed brat with the red eyes and lovely smile?
That annoying girl with the pigtails bothered him again. “Hey, hey, did you know her?” she prodded him.
“Yeah, I did you—!” He clenched his jaw and let out a large groan. Frustration once again welled up in his body. He breathed deeply. “I did know her.”
“What was she like?!” Excitement grew in this kid’s eyes.
His stomach lurched. “She was a real jerk.”
He watched the big smile on her face fade. “Oh, I see… Well thanks for the battle and the badge. Bye!”
She ran off with speed like she had incessant energy. He thought about what he had just said about his rival. And as far as he was concerned, she was a jerk. A jerk for leaving him like this. A jerk for saying something like that. A jerk for making him feel weak for her. A real jerk for being beautiful.
His ears went afire in the cool air. It’d been so long since she left. And after so long, he found the answer to fix his mistake. He studied the sky and saw white dots descend. He didn’t feel cold in the slightest, his entire body flamed with the thought of her.
12th Month.
The peak of winter. It was also another month of couples. He found himself bitter and aching. Aching for her so bad his chest panged sharper than when he was thirteen. He hunched his shoulders over and breathed into his collar. His cracked and dry hands rested in his pockets. He had to lock up the gym, though, so he brought his hand to the iced door and shoved the key in. He turned it and then put the keys back into his pocket along with his hand. When he turned himself back to face the city, he saw warm lampposts with green wreaths and red ribbons. He saw couples with arms interlocked again, laughing with their red noses.
He looked up at the night sky, not one grey cloud. It was a deep sea of navy with hanging crystals. He breathed out and the small fog he released disappeared upwards. He stood still, listening to the quiet winter air and the white noise that was people’s distant conversations. He thought about his options, if he went home, Daisy surely had hot chocolate ready, but if he spent the night in his gym he could torture himself with more thoughts of his girl. He thought the options were pretty even, as he hated hot chocolate and to think about her was bittersweet.
The list of things he wanted to tell her began to pile up. When something good or bad happened, he wanted to tell her first about it. Even if she made him mad or flustered the way she did. She was…the one. The one he needed to see everyday. The one he adored to see smile, although he wouldn’t admit it. The one who made him weak no matter how strong he thought he was. The one he loved.
And that had become the most important thing he needed to tell her. He constantly wondered where she went, how she was doing, wondered if she thought of him, what she was eating, if she was with anyone, if she… If she loved someone else now. He didn’t want that. She was his girl. He stopped walking. She wasn’t his girl. Not at all. It hurt so much to realize that. But he wanted her to be. She should be.
The snow began to softly and slowly shower as he trudged home. He closed the buttons to his coat and hunched his shoulders hiding the bottom half of his face in the collar. He steadily approached Pallet when he saw a smaller figure appear. He squinted his eyes in the cold weather and tried to peer through the falling snow.
His eyes widened. His heart pounded. His legs picked up the pace.
When he stopped in front of the figure, his caramel eyes gazed straight into the crimson eyes he had longed for. He tried to study every feature on her soft face as well as he could through the snow. It was quiet.
“Hey, Green,” she gently said.
“H-Hey, Leaf…” he breathed. He couldn’t believe it. His legs shook. “It’s nice to see… you.”
“It’s nice to see you too,” she replied straightaway, averting her eyes.
He observed her up and down, her brown hair had grown and her face matured more into a woman’s. She had become more beautiful, and suddenly he became more nervous than he was before. He didn’t think either of those were possible until they happened just then.
“Leaf, how have you been?” Worry was evident in his eyes along with desperation to know. She noticed and quickly felt her chest thump.
“I’ve been good, you?” She answered once again, in speed that told him she was uncomfortable. He didn’t want her to be uncomfortable here with him. He didn’t want her here except in his arms. He bit his lip in frustration and could not bring himself to say the words that were most important. His thoughts told him he was lame and uncool acting like this in front of her.
“Well,” she began with a pained smile. “I gotta go, I’m sure my mom’s been missing me.”
“Yeah,” was all he could bring his mouth to voice.
“See you, Green,” she weakly laughed and gave a small wave before turning away. He watched her gradually approach their hometown and all he could hear was his heart throb. He ran. He dashed after her and grabbed her by the forearm, turning her around. However, he lost his balance and accidentally dragged her down into the snow with him.
“What are you doing Gree—”
“I love you Leaf!” he yelled at her. They both panted with rosy cheeks in the white blanket they fell in. “I love your beautiful smile and your low voice… I love you and I’ve missed your snotty attitude for the past two years.”
The snow rained on them heavier, and there had been nothing but more silence after his avow. She swallowed and her ears burned with pink.
“So?!” he stormily demanded an answer. “Do you still love me?”
It was as if he’d sucked all of the air from her body with those words and all she could breathe out was “I do.”
He stood up, giving her his hand to lift her out of the snow. She grasped it, her eyes still on him. He pulled her up and smirked.
“So, be my girl?”
She could tell his request wasn’t really a request at all, and there could be no way to refuse it. “I was always your girl.”
They smiled at each other, and she shivered. He unbuttoned his coat and tugged her inside of it, wrapping his arms around her. She rested her face in his chest and he put his head atop hers.
“Where have you been?” he asked.
“Trying to not become a weakling anymore,” she muttered into his chest.
A small smile curved on his mouth. She was gone for two years and she gave him that reply. “I think you’re good now.”
She backed up a little and rose her head to look at him. “You think so?”
He swallowed and his cheeks burned up. “Y-Yeah.”
She gave him a big grin and he pursed his lips. He grabbed her and pushed her back into the snow, falling down into it with her. She warmly laughed. He pulled her by the arm again, bringing her on top of him. His cold hand quickly found itself on the back of her neck and his cracked lips on hers. On that December night, they fell in love. They were twenty.