Chapter Text
Super Smash Bros: Mission From God
Chapter 1: Mission from God
I was in my science class one day when my liberal teacher Mr. Jonson was talking about evilusion.
"And that is why humans came from monkeys and there is no god," he said.
I raised my hand.
"Yes Sara," he said.
"If human came from monkeys why are there still monks?"
My teacher had no answer for that so he gave me a detention and an F on my test.
"Hahaha!" he said. "You Christians will be defeat one day! Atheists already rule dis country because of Obama care and soon all Christians will go to death panels!"
Just then the door to the science room opened and God walked in. He was wearing a robe and had a beard like he always does.
"Mr. Jonson you're going to HELL!"
"No cause you aren't real," Mr. Jonson said.
"Lol you're a moron," God said and he stroked Mr. Jonson with lightning and Mr. Jonson died.
"Yay!" said all the Christians in the class.
"Boo!" said the heathens so God stroked all them too.
"Okay now I need to talk to Sara," God Said. "So everybody else leave."
"Okay." My classmates left the room.
"Sara Osborne I've been watching you for some time," he said, "this world isn't the only world I made."
"For real," I ask.
"Yeah do you know about video games."
"Yeah I play them with my bro and Lauren." (my bro is my brother and Lauren is my BFF forever and she's a PCC (Pretty Conservative Christian) like me too)
"Well they are real because when you play the another universe I made."
"Cool God." I high-fived God.
"Okay but there's trouble. Satan found out about this and now he's in Nintendo World. Only you can stop him before he does evil stuff there."
"Oh no."
"Right this is the hardest thing you ever done even harder than your match test last month. Good thing I'm God and I can give you cool powers and stuff."
So God gave me some power and I fell to sleep. When I woke up I was outside of the Smash Mansion!
The Hot Topik Krew
CHAP 1: THE NUE HAT TOPIK
One dei at teh maul, Lucas and hes luver Drak Pet were hanging out at teh maul. Lucas whore a.n slepknut shurt while Darn Pete had iron madden becuz they r hardcorr. They hold hands, d durk angle koffing at the props and toes who stared at them.
"oh i neva" said Rosaleenah in a suthern akcent be4 feinting.
Lucas couldn't help but laugh ass he take a sip of his hardcar carpi-son, embarking hes luvor. They all ways went to the maul 2 go to the greetest sthor ever, Hot Topik. It wuz peradice for the hardcore maul goffs n all otters who laved waring black.
However, todei it wuz replaced by a litter, nuwer Hawt Toppic dat selled ONE DIERECTION, ANIME AND CATOON MURCHANDICE AND JUSTON BEBER! Darc Pit gusped, drawpping his carpi-son as he falled downed to hes knees. Lucas glanced in, seeing preps such as Pet and Ness and Ton Lik and even Princest Petch were shopping inside.
A grill who loked lick she was cospleing Hatsoone Mecu almost walked inside. She weared a hair cup and cat ears and Hatsoone Mecu t-shit and reinbou sucks and some kewl shoos from Japan. Her bug was fool of anime murchandice as Drek Pot gagged.
"gross! its petes weaboo girlfrand lawna," scuffed the drak angle.
"ew, how gross! what did they do to our stoor men?! theyve rooined it! it was where we 1st meet too."
Dark Pig embraced him. "i know Lucas, i know."
anotter persun wulked by butt freeze in horrer. They roshed over to the class store, seeing that they selled no beck or especially... NO BECK NEIL POLISH!11!
"HOW DAER THEY RUIN MY STOOLR WIF THIS STOOPID SHIRT!" screiched the persun. it was a ton, hut big bobbed grill with whit hare and loked sooper egil yet wuz obeeushly a Hot Topik persun just liek dem. She groewed, wanting 2 unleesh furry of whoever did this.
Shadou the hedgeheg kried at hes sture as it changed. "HOW DERE THEY TOOK MURIA AWEI FROM ME!"
Wulf went to the durk side when they kicked him out as Mootoo himself was always edgi. As they saw their preshcous door trensferm in2 mainstream pop kulture galoor, they scremed.
"WHO RUNNED HAWT TOPPIK" YELLED ALL OF TEM AT WUNCE!
Little did they know, an evul gren dienosar was behind all of this. Yoshee wanted paybeck.
Derk put had an idea as Lucas and him gathered all of the maul goffs. "We must feight agenst the evil Yoshee and his prop crownies as we are... THE HOT TOPIC KREW!"
"DARK PET THE LAEDER!"
"LUCAS THE GENITAL!"
"OW THE EDGE!"
"MUUTOO, I TAKE LIFES AWAY!" The pockamen glanced as they did they battel posus.
"nd.... whoever this fat check is," said the pockamen as he was also an asshole, then again they were all ashowls. All except Lucas.... somewut.
"IM NOT FAT YOU ASS! IM FOOL FIGARED AND HAUR GLESS SHAPED!" snapped the womun. She smocked Muotew as she decided to take the roll of tactitian becuz wut els was there left.
"CIA, THE FUKKING TACTITCUN! I WILL GET MY LONKY-PUU BACK FRUM ZELDA!"
They all did there victorie posses as two tens glunced at them and shake their head.
"Wow what the fuk is gong on" said Roi as he looked at the goffs. He was rich and loaded with the dosh.
"I dont knuw," replied little mak "but whats with a winnie, a pockamen, a rejected kill la kill hedehog, emu Pet and a fut check dong sum kind of power rangers sit? i thought smesh was for fitting not doing this carp."
"Same dude." They laffed as the goff kids made mentul knotes to KILL THEM FIRST!
Chaptar 1 end.