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At the end of the day, the pain might be unbearable, but McGillis still prefers that over the drowsy state of being under multiple medications at the same time.
“The surgery is completed! Brigadier General!” The voice of the surgeon echoed next to his ear, and he opened his eyes to rapidly fading shapes and colors. The surgery was so intricate that the Gjallarhorn doctors had no choice but to put him on heavy doses of medication. His chest felt too heavy to breathe, it was as if he was about to suffocate, yet his senses remained to be on high alert. At some point he was certain that he was experiencing some kind of hallucination, bits and pieces of his darkest past. He was reliving a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from. The sound of his own voice was getting lost in his conscious; he couldn’t hear himself think at all. He was being bombarded by images he did not wish to see, murmurs he did not want to hear. McGillis had no choice but to squeeze his eyes shut and allowed his mind to go blank, waiting for darkness to engulf him.
When the medication was adjusted to a lower dosage, its side effects was subsided, but the level of pain also quickly escalated. Fortunately, his tolerance for pain is rather high. This is no trouble at all. He stared at the walls blankly, gritting his teeth to prevent his groan from being heard. Performing the Alaya-Vijnana System surgery on himself was only a small price to pay for stepping closer to his lifelong dream. As the fog in his mind begins to clear, McGillis lies awake on the hospital bed, starting to think about the next step in his goals……
Throughout the long corridor, Isurugi can only hear the sound of his quick footsteps and his own beating heart. Most people are not even aware of the existence of this sector of the Gjallarhorn headquarters; it is only natural that it is so quiet here.
Entering the security code on the keypad on the wall, Isurugi feels a mix of emotions rushing into his heart as he steps into the medical room. He is, of course, relieved to hear that the surgery operated on McGillis Fareed was successful. But he also knows that there is a price that the general had to pay in order to obtain the ability to pilot the legendary gundam frame, Gundam Bael. Isurugi himself, as well as several other doctors and researchers, have expressed concern for McGillis to undergo such a risky operation. Despite knowing the man’s stubbornness, part of Isurugi still wanted to convince him to place his own well-being before his goals. Naturally, he knew that his efforts are futile. He knew better than anyone in Gjallarhorn how much McGillis’s dreams mean to him. He knew how McGillis would gladly devote everything he has to see his reform come true. At the end, all he could do was hope for the best outcome as he watched through the window as McGillis lay down on the hospital bed.
For the first time, Isurugi allowed himself a short break at work while McGillis was undergoing surgery. He made countless attempts, yet found himself unable to concentrate on the tasks before him. Every hour or so he would find glaring errors he would have normally notice instantly on the reports he was typing up, and he eventually decided that for the sake of efficiency and accuracy of his work, he should just wait for the time being.
Even after finding out the success of the surgery, he had to wait anxiously for an entire day before he finally got the approval to see McGillis in person. Isurugi did not think it would be easy to be the first one to see McGillis after the operation, but it was more difficult than he had imagined.
The Brigadier General is lying on his side, a blanket covering his body. His golden locks that are always neatly combed are falling over his forehead lifelessly, and the dark circles beneath his eyes indicate that he hasn’t been resting well. McGillis’s emerald eyes, which usually gleam brightly with confidence, are now dull and struggling to stay open. Perhaps because of the pain and lack of mobility, his body seems stiff and even his breathing seems labored. Seeing him in such a vulnerable state wrecked Isurugi’s mind into a million pieces.
“General.” Isurugi approaches the man as quickly as possible, trying his best suppressing the worry that inevitably still seeped into his voice. It is a shock to him to witness such a sight, knowing how the general is usually so composed and collected regardless of the situation. It made it agonizingly clear how much discomfort McGillis is currently suffering from. McGillis hears his voice and his gaze shifts to him, his face pale as the colors of the white bedsheets, yet he somehow manages to force a smile weakly.
“Isurugi. How is business at the office? Rustal Elion didn’t suspect anything……Did he?”
“Everything is running smoothly. Everyone else thinks you are staying home from a common cold.” Isurugi is to take over the workload in the duration of McGillis’s recovery. Only a handful of people at Gjallarhorn are aware of the real reason of his absence, and of course, it is absolutely necessary to keep the truth away from Rustal Elion. “He didn’t suspect anything. You can rest assured, general.” It pains him to not be able to say more, to express how much he truly needs the blond to take his last sentence into heart. The last thing McGillis needs right now is more stress.
“Thank you……Isurugi. I apologize for the inconveniences I put you through……I know I can entrust you with my work……” McGillis says softly. He tries to shift slightly on the bed and winces immediately, pain flashes across his face. Anxiety seizes Isurugi without a skip of beat and he grasps McGillis’s hand, formalities between them forgotten. “General! Are you alright? I will have the doctor administer a higher dose of painkillers……”
“Don’t worry……This is nothing.” McGillis grasps his hand back with the strength he has left, and Isurugi can see the glow in his beautiful green eyes returning. “We have much more work to do, it is going to get even busier once I return. Our reform has only started, Isurugi.”
“Yes, and I will follow you anywhere, general……” Isurugi gives his most heartfelt promise as he gently ruffles McGillis’s messy hair, feeling the strands of blond locks slipping through his fingers. There is no lie in his words at all; he does intend to follow McGillis till the very end, even if it means giving up his life for his dreams one day. “In the meanwhile, let me take care of everything.” He puts his hand in his suit pocket and takes out a piece of chocolate, the same type McGillis usually carries around. In front of McGillis’s surprised gaze, he removes the wrapper and holds the chocolate against the blond’s lips. “I thought you might miss these.” He says a little awkwardly, and McGillis smiles before opening his mouth and eating the chocolate.
“Thank you, Isurugi……I will be able to return in a few days……Until then……” Isurugi watches McGillis closing his eyes once again, drifting off to sleep more peacefully this time. Isurugi cannot take his eyes off McGillis at all. How he overcame so many obstacles and his enduring resolve is the most admirable thing he has ever encountered in his lifetime. He cannot help but to hope that the medication does it trick and allow McGillis to rest for a little longer. He doesn’t care how many sleepless nights he has to go through, he knows the burden McGillis carries will always be heavier than his. Just a bit longer, let him rest, let him get all the rest he needs. He hopes so fervently.
No darkness will ever be able to seize your soul, because it shines so radiantly. Isurugi hesitates slightly before ultimately admitting defeat to his undeniable affection for the man, and places a gentle kiss on his forehead.
“Good night, general.”