Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s weird, setting foot in his old high school again. Alec hasn’t been there since he graduated six years ago, but not much has changed since then, anyway. Lockers still line the walls and dog-eared notices still plaster the pin boards in the corridor. The main thing that strikes him is how much quieter it is without the swarms of his fellow teenagers around him, and he allows himself a moment to breathe and take everything in.

His phone buzzes in his pocket for the third time and he decides he should probably get his ass down to the auditorium before Izzy abandons texting him and comes to pull him along by the hand, but he guesses it’s not so weird for her. Izzy graduated high school a year after he did, and she kept in touch with more of their old friends than him. She’d also been back in the last year to do some inspiring presentations about pursuing a STEM degree and encouraging other girls to try it too, so she’d had plenty of opportunities to have a minor freak out if she’d wanted to.

Alec pushes open the door to the auditorium and lifts his hand in greeting at the people that turn his way. There’s more here than he realised there would be, and he’s infinitely grateful when he spots two of his siblings waving back at him.

Izzy pats the spare seat next to her and Alec slips into it.

“Hey,” he says, leaning around her to poke Max, before settling back against his seat and nudging Izzy.

“You okay?”

She nods. “Yeah,” she says.

He sweeps his gaze over her. “You look tired,” he decides. “Are you eating okay?”

“Quit fussing,” she laughs, rolling her eyes. “Honestly, Alec, I’m good. My finals are kicking my ass, that’s all.”

Alec hums, satisfied she’s telling the truth, and shakes his head. “I remember the pain,” he says honestly. “You’ll make it through.”

“I know,” says Izzy, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Max,” Alec says, gesturing around the room, “are all these people your teachers?”

Max shakes his head, grinning. “Just Mr and Mrs Garroway,” he tells him.

Alec shrugs, turning to look at his old Drama teacher, Luke Garroway, who’s sitting at the head of the circle of chairs on the stage next to Alec’s old Art teacher. “They got married?” he asks no one in particular.

Izzy knocks him with her elbow. “I told you that already,” she says. “And I can’t believe you don’t recognise anyone.”

“You didn’t,” Alec protests, ignoring the last comment, and Izzy sends him A Look. “Okay,” he relents, “if it was something you told me you found out from Fray, I may not have been listening.”

Izzy pouts, but he can tell she’s fighting a smile. “Well,” she says, pointing subtly at a man with long, blue-tipped hair sitting across the circle, “that’s Meliorn. We had a thing in Junior Year. Obviously you remember Clary, Simon Lewis and Maureen Brown, right? They were a grade below Jace and I.”

Alec half nods, glancing in the direction Izzy’s just gestured. A young redheaded woman - the ever-annoying Clary Fray - is sitting next to Mrs Garroway, and beside her is a boy with fluffy brown hair and tortoiseshell glasses he thinks is Simon. Next to him are two more girls, but he’s not sure which is Maureen.

On Luke’s other side, rounding out the circle next to Meliorn, are a young-looking man and a blonde woman who Alec recognises from the grade above him.

“Okay,” Luke says, clapping his hands together as a dark-haired man with a beard completes the circle, “I think that’s everyone. Thank you for coming.”

He looks around at them all.

“As you might have heard,” he says, gesturing to Max, “the school’s drama department has been suffering from cuts lately. It’s lost out in the school budget and now they’re threatening that when this school year comes to an end, the department won’t be welcoming any new students next year.” Luke lifts his chin. “But we’ve decided to do something about it,” he adds. “It was Max Lightwood’s idea to hold a production as a fundraiser, and I’ve invited you all here because I think, between us, we could put on something that would make the school change their minds. And if we don’t succeed, at least we go out fighting.”

Alec’s half expecting people to clap — everyone certainly looks energised — but they don’t, they just offer Luke determined nods and sit up a little straighter in their chairs.

“Good,” smiles Luke. “I knew I could count on you all.”

He gestures to the bearded man who joined them last. “For those who don’t know, this is Alaric Rodriguez, my right-hand man. Did you want to go over roles?”

Alaric nods. “Sure, Luke. Before we can hold auditions, we need to get the crew sorted. We’ve provisionally assigned some roles already — Luke’s directing, Jocelyn’s on wardrobe, I’m Assistant Director and Clary’s agreed to do make up. But we’re also asking for volunteers, so: anyone want to do…” he scrolls through his phone, scanning a list “…set design?”

Slowly they get through the roles. Simon takes set design, and the two girls next to him — Maureen Brown and Rebecca Lewis, Alec learns — take Musical Director and Finances respectively. Meliorn volunteers to do Choreography.

With a little cajoling from Luke and Izzy, Alec agrees to be Stage Manager, his old role when he used to do productions in high school, and Luke sends him a knowing smile.

The final roles — Lighting and Sound Supervisor and Production Manager — go to Raphael and Lydia, the two Alec recognised from the grade above. He smiles slightly at Lydia and tries to ignore the weight of Raphael’s gaze.

Luke clears his throat. “That’s great. Thank you, everyone.” He catches sight of Izzy. “Isabelle, did you want a role?” he asks.

Izzy smiles. “A starring one,” she says, and Alec can’t help laughing. “Yeah, I think I’m gonna audition.” She nods at Max. “Unless you’re getting high schoolers to fill all the roles?”

It’s Alaric who answers. “We’re hoping to rent out the auditorium here,” he says, “so it’ll have to be over summer vacation - I can’t see many of the kids wanting to. To be honest, we’re looking for whoever we can get.”

Izzy lifts an eyebrow. “Thanks,” she quips, to scattered laughter. “Which play are we doing?”

Luke looks at Max.

Maybe it’s just by virtue of being the baby of the family, but even since he was little, Max has commanded the spotlight. He’s been in school productions for as long as Alec can remember, and he has Max to thank for his in-depth knowledge of musicals. It doesn’t surprise Alec that Max is so keen to help Luke with his plan of saving the drama department.

“I thought we could do Grease,” Max suggests, glancing first at Luke, then Izzy. “Since it’s about leaving high school and this might be the last year the school puts on a play and stuff.”

The idea is met with agreement, and Alec can’t help smiling at Max when the conversation moves on, proud of his little brother.

“If anyone is still in contact with their old classmates, people who’d be willing to take a part, that’d be great — Izzy, Alec, Max, how about Jace?”

Alec and Izzy share a glance, but it’s Max who speaks up. “He’ll do it,” he says. “I can convince him.”

Luke nods and Alaric adds it to his list.

“Raphael, how about you?”

Raphael looks at Luke. “I still know some people,” he says, shrugging nonchalantly. “I can ask.”

“Good, okay,” Alaric says.

Alec clears his throat. “I studied English in college,” he explains, “and a lot of those people did drama on the side. I know they didn’t go here, but I could ask if they’re interested?”

Alaric and Luke exchange a look, then nod.

“The more the merrier,” Luke says. “Get your friends to come along.”

Alec nods, quickly pulling out his phone to tap in a reminder to contact Raj and Aline. A few more people offer to ask around — Simon mentions his friend Maia, and Raphael admits his friends might know people. By the end of the meeting, they’ve got a production schedule outlined, and have decided on a date to hold auditions. Luke and Alaric are going to contact people with more detailed role outlines over the next few days. Alec is aware it’s going to be a lot of work, but the grin on Max’s face is worth it.

“Brilliant,” Luke says, smiling at everyone. “Let’s save our drama department.”

∞

In the end, it’s less than a week before Alec is back in the auditorium. He’s not letting the fact that he’s not technically supposed to be there stop him - it’s not like he’s not allowed to go to auditions, it’s just that he doesn’t really need to be there. But Jace and Izzy are up for roles, as well as his college friends Aline and Raj, so he wants to be there to support them.

He knows the theatre like the back of his hand from his time as stage manager all those years ago, and fortunately the auditorium hasn’t changed a bit. Alec sneaks in through a side door that still isn’t locked and vaguely wonders if someone should have done something about that in the intervening years since he left.

Alec finds a seat in the left stalls and slips into it, dumping his messenger bag in the footwell. He sends his friends and siblings a quick good luck text each and then settles into his chair.

The Pink Ladies auditions come first. Alec doesn’t recognise the girl with brown skin and bright white hair who steps up for the role of Marty, but he realises, when she hugs a girl in the wings who later introduces herself as Maia, that they must be Simon’s friends. Maia is auditioning for the part of Rizzo and does an achingly good rendition of There Are Worse Things I Could Do that seems to leave everyone impressed.

After her comes a woman who introduces herself as Dot, for the role of Jan, and she’s followed by Aline, who bursts onto the stage as a brilliantly bubbly Frenchy. Alec’s not surprised she’s amazing - he’s been to almost all of the college productions she’d starred in - and he sends her an emoji-laden text of congratulations.

Izzy comes last, singing a little of both Hopelessly Devoted To You and Summer Nights , and then all the girls come back to read through the sleepover scene. The judges - Luke, Alaric and Jocelyn - clap them all at the end, and Alec can hear the cheers of the guys waiting in the wings to audition for the T-birds.

Raj comes out first for the role of Sonny, followed by a guy Alec doesn’t recognise at all who auditions for Doody. After him - Elias, apparently - Jace bounds onto the stage, managing a perfect Kenickie impression. He’d probably like people to think that he’s somewhat like Kenickie in real life, but Alec knows Jace fastens his hair back with bobby pins, and he has enough disgustingly cute baby photos of Jace to completely ruin the image.

There’s a momentary delay between Jace leaving the stage and Luke announcing the role of Danny is up next, during which Alec checks his phone as he debates whether or not to leave. Luke had set up a group chat for the crew, so it’s not like Alec needs to stay now that all his friends have auditioned - he’ll find out as soon as the judges have decided.

But he’s here now, so he might as well, and he glances up at the stage as he puts his phone back in his pocket.

“Hey, I’m Magnus. I’m auditioning for the role of Danny.”

Holy Jesus Christ. That’s -

Alec blinks at the stage, where a tall guy in a pair of cobalt skinny jeans and black satin shirt is standing, surveying the audience.

It’s Magnus Bane.

And he’s looking right in Alec’s direction.

Alec stares back at him and then realises what he’s doing, sliding as low as he can in his seat. He knows deep down it’s futile, that Magnus has already seen him, but he can pretend he’s unseen and that gives him space to freak out in peace.

The last time he’d seen Magnus was on the beach at Far Rockaway. Magnus and his friends had graduated high school that summer, and even though Alec was a grade younger than them, he’d still been invited to the beach party. Of course he had - whatever Magnus and Alec were, even before they were A Thing That Wasn’t A Thing, they’d been friends.

Alec closes his eyes and can still picture flickering moments now: arriving at the beach in Magnus’ mom’s battered Jeep; sand squishing between their toes; Magnus pulling him into the water for a swim and Raphael and Catarina dunking them both. Ragnor, two years older than Alec and a year older than the other three, had sat by the sea reading for his college classes. Later on, as the afternoon bled into evening, Magnus had taken Alec by the hand and led him over to a secluded rocky area, flipping his friends off as they whistled.

He’d told Alec about how his mom used to bring him down the beach when he was little and they’d sit watching the sunset.

“In two months I’ll be in Cali,” Magnus said, resting his head on Alec’s shoulder. “Is that the world telling us we’re not meant to be together?”

“ My heart goes sighing after swallows flown ,” Alec murmured, “ on sometime summer's unreturning track . Rossetti, From Sunset to Star Rise.” He felt Magnus shift and smile against his skin. “Maybe it’s telling us that we’re not meant to be together yet .”

Magnus hummed. “Maybe we’ll bump into each other in a few years,” he said, with a smile that was only half-teasing.

Alec pressed a kiss to Magnus’ temple and let his lips linger there. “You’re gonna have the time of your life at college,” he said, and tightened his arms around Magnus.

After a while they’d given up on talking and Alec had asked Magnus to just kiss him.

The drive home was bittersweet, Alec watching Magnus at the wheel while Magnus’ friends snoozed - or at least pretended to - in the backseat. Alec was last to be dropped off and he’d swallowed around the lump in his throat, somehow knowing that this was goodbye.

But it wasn’t just goodbye to Magnus, his best friend. It was goodbye to a perfect summer filled with more love and laughter and freedom than Alec ever thought he’d be allowed to have. It was goodbye to sneaking glances in the hallways and hands brushing as they got their lunch in the canteen; it was goodbye to trading kisses lying in the grass in Magnus’ back yard and sleepovers in Magnus’ room where they’d explore each other. Alec was learning Magnus and learning how to love and learning how to be himself, and he wasn’t ready to give it up.

Quite suddenly, he had felt a pang of grief hit him.

Alec sucked in a breath. “Magnus, I -”

Magnus had held his finger up a whisper away from Alec’s lips, so close he could probably feel Alec’s breath. The warmth in Magnus’ brown eyes calmed Alec down, as if Magnus knew exactly what he was thinking and was telling him that they’d be alright. That Alec would be alright.

The thing between them was easy and good and right, and it would never be the same again. But they’d be okay.

Besides, Magnus was going to college . Even if Alec knew - and he did, bone-deep - that it was more than just a high school thing for both of them, Magnus would soon be be gone and that was that. There were a million and one better, brighter people than Alec that Magnus would meet at college, who could be given the gift of Magnus’ love to keep warm.

“I’ll see you soon, Alexander,” Magnus said, giving Alec the sweetest, saddest smile. Alec nodded and got out of the car, and in the time it took him to turn back and seize the chance for one final kiss goodbye, Magnus had already pulled away.

As far as Alec knows, Magnus has been living in California ever since he left for college. He’s not heard anything different, and he’s fairly sure Magnus and Izzy kept in touch, even if he and Alec lost contact. It had been too hard at first, and then they’d just...drifted.

The image of Raphael shrugging and saying he still knows some people flashes through Alec’s mind and he groans at himself, wondering how he could be so dense. It’s not like he hadn’t noticed the looks Raphael had been sending him, after all.

But Magnus? Here, in New York? Alec’s not prepared for the general situation, and he’s certainly not prepared for how good he looks. Holy crap, Alec had barely been able to function around him in high school, and now he’s here and he’s so attractive it almost aches.

Would Magnus even want to see Alec? It’s not like Magnus has made any effort to meet up, over the years - but, no, that isn’t fair, because Alec hasn’t either. Alec also isn’t 100% on the protocol for bumping into your high school sweetheart several years down the road, and as soon as that realisation comes, he almost laughs, because it’s just like Magnus had said to him.

When he’s managed to calm down enough to decide that he can totally ask Magnus to go for coffee and catch up, it’s not a big deal, whatever, he sits up a little straighter in his seat. He’s twenty-four years old, for god’s sake. He’s got this.

And then Magnus starts singing, and Alec prays to high heaven because there is no way that he’s got this. Absolutely none.

∞

Later that evening, Alec’s sitting at his computer finishing up a video call with Lydia, Simon and - somewhat awkwardly - Raphael when the door buzzer for his apartment goes.

“I’ll get it,” calls Jace, so Alec ignores it and quickly reads through the production schedule to make sure everyone’s on target. They’re going to start blocking in the evenings the following week - part of the issue is finding a time when everyone could rehearse, because most of the cast had full time jobs. But they can work around it, and everyone is up for the challenge.

“Okay, great,” Alec says, when the others confirm the schedule and their next meeting time. “See you all Monday evening.”

He’s just hung up when a curtain of black hair tickles the side of his face and he turns to find his sister right beside him.

“You,” Izzy says accusingly, “did not tell me Magnus was back in New York.”

Alec closes his laptop with a roll of his eyes. “‘Cause I usually tell you things I don’t know, right? I thought you two kept in touch, anyway.”

Izzy frowns. “We do, but I thought you were still friends,” she says, moving away from Alec and settling on the couch.

Alec shrugs and shakes his head. “Yeah, maybe,” he says, and in response Izzy just raises an eyebrow. Jace laughs at Alec from across the room, coming to join their sister on the couch.

“Well,” she says, apparently deciding to brush past Alec’s inability to function as a human when Magnus is mentioned, “he drove me home when we finished the read through after auditions.”

Jace makes a put out noise. “He didn’t offer me a lift.”

Izzy smirks and Alec can’t help laughing at Jace’s offended expression. “Anyway, it was so nice to see him! He was so excited to be back in New York and to see everyone again, and he said we should all get together soon.” She pauses and arches an eyebrow at Alec. “I think that’s a great idea, don’t you?”

Alec shrugs again, very interested in playing with the cuff of his shirt.

Magnus has been on his mind ever since Alec got home from the auditions, and in that time he’s managed to convince himself that anything happening between them would be a Bad Idea. Too much time has passed and they’re probably too different now, and they still live on opposite sides of the country , for god’s sake.

“Bro,” Jace says, “you can talk to us about this stuff. You know that, right?”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Alec says, and then it’s all falling out in a rush. “Look, he’s in California and I’m in New York and we’re not together and we never will be and it’s never going to be like it was before so there’s no point in trying to make it like that, so if you two could stop messing with my personal life, I’d appreciate it!”

He exhales heavily and drops his head back against the couch cushions.

The amusement is Izzy’s tone is clear when she says, “Feel better?”

Alec groans. “No.” He lets a moment tick by. “Yes, maybe a little.” He pulls his head up from the couch and winces. “Sorry.”

“Not trying to point out the obvious,” Jace says, “but Magnus is not in California right now. And things don’t have to be the same as before to make them good, Alec. You can make something new.”

Alec looks at him, and he can hear the logic in Jace’s words.

“I was thinking about asking him for coffee,” he admits, not missing the knowing look his siblings share. “But I don’t know. He’s so - and I’m -” he shakes his head. “Would he even want to see me?”

“Dude, you two were crazy about each other,” says Jace. “And even without that, he was like, your third best friend after the two of us.”

A smirk tugs at Alec’s lips. He tilts his head and says, “third?” and Jace makes an offended noise again.

“I’m sure he’d love to see you, hermano ,” Izzy says. “What have you got to lose by asking?”

Alec thinks it over, nodding eventually. “Okay,” he says. “Do you have his number, Iz?”

It takes Alec a couple of days to settle his nerves and text Magnus. He stares at the new message screen for the millionth time, feeling like he’s sixteen again and working up the courage to give Magnus the poem he’d written him after their first kiss - Alec’s first kiss ever.

The same jittery bundle of nerves dances in his stomach, pulse skittering with anticipation.

In the event, the message goes unanswered, and with each passing minute he waits for a reply, Alec feels smaller and more naively stupid.

Logically, he knows Magnus is probably just busy - he’s not cruel or immature enough to not answer in the hope of hurting Alec. But it still stings.

Alec pushes it aside, not letting his emotions distract him, and heads to the auditorium on Monday evening anyway as planned. Magnus will be there, so maybe they’ll get a chance to talk, or something. When he arrives, he dumps his bag and jacket down by a chair and pulls out his empty prompt book, a new binder he’ll fill tonight as they go through the show, writing down all the cues and other notes for the smooth running of the production.

It’s nostalgic, being back, in both the place and his old job, and he suddenly feels like a teenager again, too little of a person in too much of a body he hadn’t yet grown into.

Alec waves at Luke across the room and is heading in his direction when he hears his name called.

“Alec.”

Alec freezes, turning to see Magnus standing a little way behind him in the aisle.

“Hey,” Magnus says, gracefully slipping out of his coat, and then he smiles and Alec has trouble remembering how to breathe.

A cocktail of feelings swirl in his chest, from he’s here to he’s talking to you what the hell are you doing say something!! to how does one person manage to look so perfect?

“Hey,” Alec manages, drinking Magnus in. His hair is spiked now, and he has a goatee that he never had in high school. He’s filled out a lot, too - he was never skinny, at least, not when Alec knew him, but now his arms look like they’re stuffed into his shirt and Alec is trying not to stare.

Magnus’ eyes are still the same warm brown, though, lined with black and a hint of glitter.

“How are you?” asks Magnus, stepping closer.

Alec nods a little jerkily, still processing the fact that Magnus is here in front of him. He wishes he could make his mouth work.

“Uh, yeah, good,” he says eventually. “How are you?”

Magnus nods. “Yeah, great,” he says. “It’s good to be back.”

There’s a beat of silence between them and then the awkwardness of it all is crashing over Alec. He’d said as much to Jace and Izzy, he knew it would be weird, and now he’s here experiencing it and his throat is suddenly tight and the fact that it all feels so wrong between him and Magnus makes him want to cry.

It was never like this before.

“Well, I should probably -” Alec gestures behind him lamely, forcing out the words.

“Right,” Magnus fills in easily, “you should go and see Luke.”

Alec nods. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah. It was - good to see you.”

Magnus just gives him a small smile, and Alec is achingly sad for a fleeting moment. He turns away to head over to Luke, and then he realises that, oh God, Magnus will find the text Alec had sent soon, if he hasn’t already.

“I, uh,” Alec begins, whirling back to Magnus, “I texted you. It’s - I mean, it’s not a big deal, you can just delete it or whatever, but I. I just thought I’d mention it so it wasn’t weird.”

Magnus’ brow furrows and he slides his phone out of a pocket in his jeans that Alec - rather unhelpfully - notices are very tight.

“Sorry, everything’s been hectic recently,” Magnus says. “I wasn’t ignoring you. Relocating across the country isn’t the world’s easiest - oh, you did!”

And then, for some reason Alec doesn’t understand, Magnus is beaming at his phone as he scans the message.

“I’d love to,” Magnus says, looking up from his phone to Alec, face alight. Then his smile falters slightly. “Unless - if you’ve changed your mind, I wouldn’t want to…”

“No,” Alec says hastily. “I - I still want to. If you do. It’s just - does this feel -?”

“Awkward?” Magnus supplies. Alec nods and closes his eyes, huffing a short laugh, and then he hears Magnus chuckling too. “I didn’t want to say,” he adds, teasing. “I guess it’s been a while.”

When Alec opens his eyes, there’s still the trace of a smile on Magnus’ face, and it’s as if acknowledging the tension makes it ease slightly.

“Too long,” Alec says softly, and Magnus hums, quiet and thoughtful.

“Well, we can make up for lost time,” Magnus says, moving closer. He places his coat down next to Alec’s and then gestures for the two of them to walk. “If you’re free after this, there’s a great new late night place I found near my mom’s.”

Alec nods, then cocks his head. “You’re living with your mom?” he asks.

“Temporarily,” Magnus explains. “I’ve got a new job here, but I haven’t sold my place in California yet and New York isn’t exactly the cheapest city in the world to live in.”

Alec nods. “So, you’re coming back to New York permanently?” he asks.

Magnus shrugs. “For the foreseeable future, anyway.” He pauses a few paces away from where the other cast and crew have gathered and stops Alec with a gentle hand on his arm. “Alec, can I just check - apart from Raphael, who here knows that we...about us?”

Alec glances around. “Uh, Izzy and Jace. Probably Clary and possibly Simon. And, honestly, I think Luke probably knows too.”

Magnus smiles and waves at their old teacher. “Yeah, not a lot gets past him,” he laughs. “Did you want to keep it quiet?”

“If that’s okay with you,” Alec says. “It’s - I’m out. I think everyone here knows I’m gay already, and if they don’t, I don’t mind them finding out. But I don’t want them all to know every detail of my life, if that makes sense?”

Magnus nods. “Of course,” he says. “I just wanted to make sure.”

“No, that’s - thank you,” Alec says sincerely. “Thank you.”

Magnus leaves him with a smile and heads over to greet some of his fellow cast members, giving Alec the chance to chat to Luke.

As always at this stage of a show, it’s a bit stop-start as they figure everything out, but they manage to make a considerable dent in blocking for the first act. By 11pm everyone is kind of fried, so they wrap it up for the day, and the low hum of tired chatter surrounds Alec as they all leave the auditorium.

Alec lingers out by the cars, waiting to get Magnus’ attention. He looks over and sees Magnus frowning at his phone, so he tells Jace he’ll catch up with him.

“Hey,” Alec says, walking over to Magnus, “you okay?”

Magnus seems a little distracted as he looks up. “Yeah,” he says, blinking a couple of times, then he stows his phone away and fully turns his attention to Alec. “Something’s come up, I’m really sorry. Can we take a raincheck on coffee?”

Alec tries to ignore the disappointment settling in his stomach and forces a smile. “Sure, no problem,” he says. “Let me know?”

“I’ll text you,” Magnus promises, and Alec nods. He gives Magnus a little wave that he instantly regrets as he heads for the car where Jace is waiting.

“All good?” Jace asks as Alec fastens his seatbelt.

“Yeah, the rehearsal went well,” Alec replies, even though both of them know that’s not what Jace meant. Jace doesn’t push it, though, and doesn’t mention Magnus again the entire drive home.

∞

Once summer break starts, Max insists on coming with Alec to help construct and paint the sets. Which is great, because it’s an extra pair of hands and once Max and Simon bonded over comic books there was no stopping them, but it’s also not great because as soon as Max catches sight of Magnus he won’t let it drop.

“So,” he says, wielding a paintbrush, “he’s your ex boyfriend?”

Alec rolls his eyes and continues hammering some nails into the stair set he’s building. “Kind of,” he says.

“Well, what does that mean?” Max asks.

“We were kind of together for a bit, that’s all,” says Alec.

“Like, you dated?” Max turns his attention back to the car front he’s painting.

“No,” Alec says, rocking back on his heels and surveying the stairs. “At least, not in public.”

Max lets out a soft oh noise. “He was your secret boyfriend while you were in the closet?” he asks, and Alec supposes that’s a crude but fairly truthful representation of the situation.

“Yeah, basically,” Alec agrees. He glances over at Max and his work. “We all know that your artistic talents lie on the stage rather than behind it, but please try and paint inside the lines.”

“That’s just rude,” Max says, leaning over and splodging paint on Alec’s cheek.

“Real mature,” says Alec, already reaching out to find a ticklish spot to jab Max with the end of a spare paint brush. Max dodges out the way with the dexterity of someone who has multiple older siblings and hums thoughtfully.

“Do you want to get back together with him?” Max asks.

Alec stares down at the hammer he’s holding and thinks about Max’s question. Does he want to be with Magnus again? Because the Magnus he was with is probably different than who Magnus is now, and they still haven’t gone for coffee.

Magnus has been sending him Snapchats, though, and Alec is glad that usually no one is around to see how wide he smiles when he gets them.

Alec hasn’t spoken to Magnus properly in years , but there’s still that spark between them. He’ll catch Magnus laughing at Alec’s exasperated expressions when they’re blocking, or Magnus will snarkily take someone down a peg and Alec has to hide his smile in his prompt book.

And then there’s the fact that Magnus is so, so beautiful. He always was, but now he’s fully grown into his skin. He lights up a room and Alec’s pulse races just thinking about him.

So, yeah. He’d like a chance at something, at least.

“Yeah,” Alec says, glancing up at Max, who’s watching him carefully. “I do. But I don’t know whether he does.”

Max makes a face and nods behind Alec. “Ask him,” he mouths, and Alec narrows his eyes.

“Alexander,” Magnus says from behind Alec, and then a hand brushes his shoulder lightly.

“Magnus, hey!” Alec says, turning to look up at him and then -

Fucking hell, is he trying to murder Alec?

He’s wearing a sleeveless grey hoodie with nothing underneath, and Alec doesn’t know whether he’s imagining the beads of sweat he can see rolling down the grooves of Magnus’ abs. His pants are black with a red band at the top and, oh God, now Alec’s thinking thoughts -

“What, uh, what are - did you? Need something?” he garbles, blinking several times.

Magnus is watching him with a quirked eyebrow. “We just finished up with a choreo rehearsal,” he says. “I saw you here and wondered if you had half an hour for coffee?”

Alec is about to say, no, he doesn’t , because he’s not sure how to function when Magnus looks as good as he does, when Max speaks up.

“Yes, he does,” he says with a smirk, stepping over the car front and taking the hammer from Alec’s hand. “Go on, Alexander .”

Alec glowers at his brother and then stands up, brushing down his pants. “Where did you want to go?” he asks Magnus.

“It’s nothing special, but Alaric set up a coffee dispenser down the hallway,” Magnus suggests, and Alec nods.

They end up sitting on the front steps of the school. Alec didn’t realise how hot it had gotten, and takes his jacket off almost as soon as they get outside.

“How are rehearsals going?” Alec asks, turning to look at Magnus. He just catches Magnus tearing his eyes away from Alec’s arms and flushes with a pleasant heat.

“Yeah, good,” Magnus says, taking a sip of his coffee. “Izzy’s a great partner.”

Alec smiles fondly. “She’s been very excited to see you again,” he says.

Magnus nudges him with his elbow, his voice a teasing lilt when he asks, “and have you?”

Alec ducks his head and smiles into his coffee.

“She tells me you’re an editor,” Magnus says, and Alec doesn’t know whether he should be worried about what else Izzy has mentioned. He makes a note to ask her later.

“Yeah, for an LGBT-specialist publishing house,” Alec says, finding Magnus watching him with a soft smile.

“The M.B.A. plan went out the window, then?” he asks, lifting a brow.

Alec laughs. “I can’t believe you remember that,” he says. “Yeah, it did. My parents weren’t happy. They weren’t happy about the ‘finding a wife’ plan going out the window either, but…”

Magnus hums. “Yeah, I remember your parents,” he says, and it’s clear from his tone what he thinks about them.

“How’s your mom?” Alec asks.

“She’s doing okay,” Magnus says, nodding. “She asked after you, actually.”

Alec grins. “Yeah?”

Magnus nods again. “I still see my other high school friends all the time, but she hasn’t heard much about you, I guess. I think she thinks we’ll get back together or something,” Magnus says, chuckling softly to himself.

Alec smiles and wonders if maybe that would be a good segue into asking Magnus on a real date - a proper one, not just coffee on the front steps of their old school, when Magnus adds, “Crazy, right?”

Alec’s stomach plummets and he forces out a laugh of agreement. When he turns to the side, he finds Magnus fiddling nonchalantly with his snake earcuff.

“I’m sure you’ve already got a boyfriend, anyway,” Magnus says airily, fingers twiddling around the jewellery.

“No,” Alec says immediately, looking right at Magnus. “No boyfriend. Are you with anyone?”

“No,” Magnus says, and it looks like he’s hiding a smile. “I’ve been single for a while, actually. Maybe it’s a sign. Nothing keeping me in Cali any more.”

Alec bites down on the inside of his cheek. “So, are you, uh, looking for someone, then?”

Magnus’ brown eyes flit back and forth across Alec’s face. “Yeah, maybe. If I found the right person.”

Alec’s not always great at reading people, but this is Magnus , and the way his lips are gently curving upwards as he observes Alec feels like a hint.

“Magnus,” Alec says, twisting his cup in his hand, “would you like to go on a date with me?”

The way Magnus beams at him has Alec walking on air for the rest of the day.

∞

Feeling like his life is already a trope-filled rom-com plot, Alec neglects to honk the horn when he pulls up outside Magnus’ mom’s house. He announces his arrival by texting Magnus instead, and a moment later, Magnus appears in the window of his childhood bedroom, waving at Alec and then making a two minutes gesture. Alec switches off the engine, double checks the piece of paper he’d stowed in the door pocket is still there, and tries not to overthink what could go wrong.

His stomach still feels all fluttery, which is kind of ridiculous, really, because he’s been on dates before. But somehow this feels like it could be something again.

The front door of the house opens and Alec sits up straighter, expecting it to be Magnus.

It’s his mom.

She waves at Alec, beckoning him over, and Alec feels like he can’t really decline.

“Hello, Alec,” she says as he approaches.

He sends her a smile, slightly bashful. “Hello, Mrs Bane,” he says. He hasn’t seen her in such a long time, and under her gaze he feels like a teenager again. Heaven knows he spent enough of his teenage years at her house.

She jerks her thumb back indoors.

“Magnus asked me to tell you he’s coming,” she says, “but you know what that boy is like. ‘Just finishing his hair’, he says.” She shakes her head fondly. “Oh, he’s so happy you’re doing this, Alec, you know, he can’t stop talking about it. I always knew the two of you were destined for each other.”

Alec’s heart stutters for a second at her words but he tries to play it cool - Magnus had basically told him that already, after all. It just seems a little more real coming from someone else outside of the two of them, like it’s not just Alec and heaps of wishful thinking, which makes him equal parts nervous and hopeful.

“Mama,” a voice says, with good-natured exasperation, and Magnus appears in the doorway behind his mother. “Please don’t scare Alec away.”

She just smiles at him, then leans up to kiss his cheek. “Have a good night, boys,” she says. “Alec, you take care of my son.”

Alec can’t help grinning as he meets Magnus’ eyes. “I will, Mrs Bane,” he promises, and she makes a satisfied noise.

Magnus waits until both he and Alec are seated in the car before he says anything, although he still has a fond smile on his face.

“Hello,” Magnus says, gazing at Alec. Magnus looks incredible tonight, dressed in a mottled bright blue shirt and a pair of tailored black pants with a tassel hanging off the belt.

Alec glances over at him and smiles, feeling his nerves settle now that Magnus is actually here.

“You look amazing,” he says honestly.

Magnus seems pleased by the assessment, tilting his head at Alec. “So do you.”

Alec feel his face go warm and clears his throat, starting up the car.

“So, where are you taking me?” Magnus asks, mild curiosity in his voice.

Alec hums. “You can choose something fancier next time, but a bacon burger from the East Village sounds good to me.”

Magnus lifts his eyebrows. “Next time?” he asks, and Alec just smiles in response, pulling out of the driveway.

They arrive at a little hole in the wall burger place, luckily finding parking only a short block away from the restaurant. It’s surrounded by loud bars and expensive eateries, and the exterior is plain and muted. It’d be easy to walk right by the place if you didn’t know it existed.

Alec rushes around the car to open the door for Magnus, who gives him a beautifully affectionate smile in response.

“What a gentleman,” Magnus muses, and Alec shrugs, pleased all the same.

Magnus insists on paying for their food, and once they’ve got it they slide into a booth. Their legs end up tangled under the table and though conversation is a little stilted at first, it doesn’t take them long to find a rhythm.

Alec listens, enraptured, as Magnus tells him about life in California - living with Catarina; meeting his college friends Elias and Dot, who he’d convinced to come and audition for the play; graduating with a first-class degree in Chemistry. He’s been headhunted by a lab in New York, he says, which is why he’s coming back. His life seems so vibrant and full. While there’s a bit of Alec that wishes he could have been a part of it, he’s also just happy that Magnus is happy.

After a while, Magnus asks about Alec, who fills him in on studying English, renting a place with Jace, and getting his job.

“Are you still writing?” Magnus asks, going in to swipe one of Alec’s fries.

Alec unsuccessfully swats him away. “Writing?” he asks.

Magnus nods as he munches on the fry. “You know, your poems.”

“Oh,” Alec says, blinking. He can feel his face heating up and tries to deflect with a shrug, playing with a stray piece of lettuce that had fallen out of his burger. “They were never really - they were just. Well. I dunno. I mainly just wrote them for you, I guess.”

Magnus doesn’t say anything for so long that Alec forces himself to look up despite his embarrassment, and when he does he sees Magnus gazing at him, looking touched.

He’s not expecting Magnus to reach across the table and entwine their fingers, but he definitely does not mind. As if sensing that the topic has made Alec self-conscious, Magnus asks him what the latest manuscript he’s been editing is about, and Alec latches onto the conversational offering gratefully.

The burger joint isn’t exactly the height of romance - in fact, it’s the kind of place he and Magnus used to come to when they were kids. But Alec’s beginning to realise that it doesn’t matter where they are, because being with Magnus is easy. It’s like when Alec picks up his favourite book and dives back in, or when he plays his favourite album on repeat.

It’s like coming home.

Somehow, Magnus convinces him that going to Far Rockaway beach again is a good idea, though when it comes to Magnus Alec never needs much convincing. It’s dusk by the time they arrive, and when Alec kills the engine it’s near silent. The summer crowds have long since gone home, and now the two of them are alone with just the waves crashing against the surf.

Alec shakes his head, letting out a soft chuckle.

“Really, Magnus?” he asks, and when he turns to the side, Magnus’ eyes are alight.

“For old time’s sake,” Magnus presses, unclipping his seat belt and getting out of the car. Alec watches, a strange mixture of emotions swirling in his chest, as Magnus crosses in front of the bumper and comes to stand by Alec’s door.

Magnus taps on the window with two knuckles and Alec winds it down. Magnus leans down and grins at Alec, who finds his breath catching at how close their faces are.

“Come on, Alexander,” Magnus says. Alec’s eyes flicker over Magnus’ face, from the gentle curve of his eyebrows to the sharp cut of his jaw. “For me?”

When has Alec ever been able to deny Magnus anything?

Alec relents with a roll of his eyes and a smile, and Magnus stands back to let him out of the car. They wander down the beach, hands brushing with almost every step but neither of them wanting to break the magic of the moment. There’s something of a thrill in the gentle touches, too. Alec finds himself smiling as he takes a seat next to Magnus on the sand. He runs his fingers through it, remembering how it had felt under his feet that last day of summer.

“It’s a long time since I’ve been here,” Alec admits.

Magnus is quiet for a moment, and when Alec turns to look at him, he doesn’t expect to see such a wistful expression on his face.

“Would you like to know a secret?” Magnus asks, though his eyes are far away. Alec nods. “I came down here quite a lot after we said goodbye, before I left for college. I used to sit on the rocks and watch the waves, and think about...well, you. Us. The future.” He laughs softly to himself. “I sometimes wonder how things might be different if I hadn’t lost you then. If we hadn’t lost each other.”

Alec swallows around the lump in his throat, finding he can’t look at the melancholia written over Magnus’ face. “I thought about it a lot, too,” he says, voice a little gravelly. His head is a swirl of memories, Magnus sitting beside him then and now. He feels older and yet still impossibly young, back to being on the precipice of knowing who he is and who he wants to be. “Senior year was so weird, you know. Without you.”

Magnus hums, watching him carefully, and suddenly Alec is immensely sad for all the time they missed out on together.

Alec clears his throat. “You have me now,” he says, turning towards Magnus. “I don’t care what happened in between.”

“I don’t care either,” Magnus says, eyes wide and hopeful. “Alec, you have me, too. If you want me.”

Alec smiles, gently cupping Magnus’ jaw with one hand. Magnus inches closer, placing a hand on Alec’s waist. His eyes search Magnus’ face.

“Of course I want you,” Alec whispers. He slowly leans in, giving Magnus the chance to pull away before brushing his lips over Magnus’ in the barest hint of a kiss. Magnus’ fingers curl in the material of Alec’s shirt at his waist and tug him closer as he tilts his head and kisses Alec more deeply.

It’s not the same as Alec remembers - he can feel the light scratch of Magnus’ goatee against his skin and Magnus is more solid under Alec’s hands than he was before - but it’s familiar and sweet and good. Alec vaguely wonders if swelling orchestral music is playing the background, because that’s what it feels like inside his head.

Magnus makes a soft noise against Alec’s lips and Alec’s heart skips in double time. His fingers weave into Magnus’ hair and he presses as close as he can, loving the warmth of having Magnus up against him.

Eventually they break apart, but Alec doesn’t want to pull away just yet. He rests his forehead against Magnus’, feeling the warmth of Magnus’ breath against his skin as he slowly opens his eyes. A hint of a smile curves Magnus’ lips and he’s looking at Alec like he can’t quite believe what just happened.

“I want to know,” Alec says, swallowing. “I don’t care what’s happened, but, uh. I would like to know about it.”

Magnus nods, his thumb rubbing small circles on Alec’s side. “We’ve still got a lot to catch up on,” he agrees, his warm brown eyes drinking Alec in. “I want to learn you all over again, Alexander.”

Alec can’t find any words but he nods, trying to tell Magnus that he’s ready, that he’s willing to make the effort, that he wants . He’s a little overwhelmed with how strongly he feels for Magnus and tries to pour it all into a kiss, one hand sliding through Magnus’ hair again and the other curling around his bicep.

Magnus responds eagerly, his warm hands slipping under the edge of Alec’s button down and resting against his skin, holding Alec steady, an anchor as Alec loses himself to his emotions.

Alec doesn’t keep track of how long they sit kissing under the stars. Eventually the chill in the air grows and they have to head to the car, but Alec really doesn’t mind when the two of them are laughing, giddy, as they walk back, fingers intertwined.

It’s just gone midnight when Alec pulls up alongside Magnus’ house to drop him home.

“Thank you for tonight,” says Magnus. He’s regarding Alec with a soft gaze, smiling slightly. “I’ll see you soon, Alexander,” he says, with a wry quirk of his eyebrow, and Alec wants to laugh as much as he wants to cry.

While Magnus gets out of the car, Alec dips his hand into his door pocket and pulls out the folded slip of paper.

“Magnus -”

Alec catches Magnus’ hand with his own and presses the paper into Magnus’ palm. Magnus blinks at him, pleasantly surprised, and then raises Alec’s hand to his lips and presses a kiss to his knuckles.

“Goodnight,” he says, and Alec can’t stop the lopsided smile that rises to his face.

“Night, Magnus,” he says, and as he watches Magnus head inside, he wonders if maybe this time they’ll get their happy ending after all.

Chapter Text

As Magnus blinks awake, he watches the gentle rays of light filtering in through a small gap in the curtains, giving Alec’s whole bedroom a peaceful glow. Magnus stirs slightly, stretching his back and adjusting the blankets over himself.

Just across the heap of pillows between them, Alec is still sleeping, chest rising and falling in even breaths. One arm is hooked under the pillow and the other is thrown across the blankets, his hand a pleasant weight on Magnus’ hip.

Right at this moment, Magnus can’t think of a better sight to wake up to.

He watches Alec for a little longer, cataloging the details of his face. He’s lost the boyishness of youth and tends to favour scruff now, at least late into the evenings when he’s working on organising the list of cues or having a late night emergency call with Simon about production.

But he’s still got the same heavy eyebrows and beautiful hazel eyes and that scar under his chin where he’d fallen the - admittedly short - distance from Magnus’ treehouse platform to the yard below when he was in freshman year. Magnus can’t decide if he loves or hates the extra couple of inches Alec’s grown - their height difference is infuriatingly small, but it makes his knees weak to have to tilt his head up just slightly when he wants to kiss Alec.

Alec’s eyelids flutter and his fingers twitch a little over the blankets. Magnus assumes he’s not far off from waking up, so he decides to venture out of bed to make some coffee.

Alec doesn’t wake as Magnus slips from the covers and tucks them back around him. Magnus puts his boxers on in case Jace is lurking, although the apartment had been surprisingly empty when he and Alec had stumbled inside.

“Sometimes Jace decides not to be an asshole,” was what Alec had offered in explanation, proceeding to tug on Magnus’ belt loops to bring him closer and trail kisses up Magnus’ neck. “Plus he said something about seeing Simon, so…”

Making coffee is a bit of an adventure in itself, because he doesn’t really know his way around Alec’s apartment at all. He’s only been here once, for a movie night that had begun with perfectly decent intentions and ended up with the bowl of popcorn discarded on the floor and Alec in his lap.

That date had been followed by Magnus taking Alec out for dinner for the next time Alec had so deliciously promised on their first date, even if it had happened a couple of weeks late. They’d gone to one of Magnus’ favourites, an Ethiopian place that he’d first come across when he met up with Catarina while interviewing for his new job. He’d walked Alec home and they’d stood in the lobby of Alec’s building, just chatting, each reluctant to let the other go.

Last night they went to a new Thai place that had opened up near Alec’s apartment. The place was dimly lit and extremely intimate, and by the end of the evening Magnus was pressed against Alec, distracting him with kisses from his valiant task of opening the door so they could get inside.

Magnus wanders into the kitchen and locates the coffee maker, thankful that it’s identical to the one he had in Cali, and as he sets it working he scans the living room.

His buckled black boots sit by the door with Alec’s stone Converse next to them, something so domestic it makes him smile. Magnus’ jacket is strewn across the back of the couch and he’s fairly sure that Alec’s shirt is in a heap down by the coffee table.

They should probably tidy up before Jace comes home, but all Magnus wants to do right now is curl up in bed beside Alec again.

It had been a little overwhelming, at first. Magnus can’t remember the last time he opened up to someone like he had to Alec on the beach that first night, baring his heart and almost ready for Alec to turn away.

But he hadn’t. He’d kept the light of Magnus’ love burning in his hands and then kissed Magnus like he was drowning and Magnus was air. Alec, full of soft smiles and tender touches and earnest words, made Magnus want to let him in.

Magnus searches through all the cupboards until he finds some mugs. One in particular catches his eye, simple white with rainbow text that reads, have pride! , and he can’t help the happiness that bubbles up in his chest as he fills it with coffee for Alec.

When Magnus pads back through to the bedroom carrying two steaming mugs, he finds a messy-haired Alec resting against the headboard, rubbing at his eyes.

“Morning,” Magnus says.

Alec’s attention is immediately on Magnus, his smile bright in the morning light as he takes Magnus in.

“Morning,” he replies, voice drenched with sleep. “You made coffee?”

“I did,” Magnus confirms, placing Alec’s mug down on the bedside table and giving him a quick kiss.

“You can definitely come again,” Alec says, inhaling happily as he picks up the drink. He takes a long sip and sighs contentedly.

Magnus watches him with a grin, sliding back under the covers. “I’m planning on it,” he quips, raising an eyebrow over his mug at Alec as he takes a sip.

Alec returns the gesture, a sweet smile rising to his face as he regards Magnus.

“Was last night okay?” he asks, fiddling with the handle of his mug. He seems a little unsure, but also achingly hopeful.

Magnus so badly wants to kiss him.

“I thought it was perfect,” Magnus says. He shuffles closer to Alec and curls his fingers around Alec’s free hand. “Did you?”

Alec nods, smiling again now. “I mean,” he says, putting his cup down and moving to press soft kisses to Magnus’ jaw, “I think I made it pretty clear that I was enjoying myself.” The words spill from his lips against Magnus’ skin, his warm breath making Magnus shiver.

Then Alec pauses, his hair tickling Magnus’ neck as he rests his head on Magnus’ shoulder. “But I just wanted to - check, I guess? ‘Cause I wanted it to be good for you. In high school it wasn’t - I wasn’t -”

Alec stops for a moment and Magnus starts running his fingers through Alec’s hair to try and reassure him.

“Alec, you don’t owe me good sex. You don’t owe me sex at all, you know that, right?” Magnus says, still carding his fingers through Alec’s hair.

“Yeah, I know,” he says, sounding frustrated. He hasn’t reappeared from where his face is now buried in Magnus’ shoulder. “But I was a fumbling awkward mess when I was seventeen.”

Magnus’ lips twitch. “So was I,” he says, and then when Alec begins to protest, he hushes him with, “I was just better at hiding it than you.”

Alec groans and finally emerges, blinking at Magnus.

“You’re laughing at me,” he says, pouting. His eyes are twinkling, though, and the way his fingers are tracing distracting patterns up and down Magnus’ bare side suggests he’s not all that offended.

“Only a little bit,” Magnus says, grinning. “I don’t know about you, but in my experience, the best sex is sex where you can laugh with the other person.” His eyes soften as he drinks Alec in. “I had fun . Maybe it didn’t go exactly to plan, but just being close to you like that was -” he clears his throat, not sure how the air suddenly got so serious. “Like I said, I thought it was perfect.”

Alec seems to consider this for a moment before smiling. “Yeah, me too,” he says quietly.

His eyes flicker to Magnus’ lips and then they’re kissing. Alec’s lips are soft and warm against Magnus’ own and their breathing fills the still morning air.

Magnus presses against Alec, longing to feel that closeness with someone again, something he’s not felt since -

“Alec,” Magnus gasps, as Alec starts making a heady line of kisses along Magnus’ throat, “wait.”

He pulls away immediately, his hazel eyes growing worried as he looks at Magnus.

“Are you okay?” Alec asks. He shuffles backwards, allowing Magnus some space.

“I’m fine,” Magnus says honestly, tugging Alec back towards him. “I just need to tell you something.”

Alec nods, brows drawn together. He scoots over so his legs are draped across Magnus’ at right angles and gathers Magnus’ hands into his lap, entwining them with his own.

“What’s up?”

Magnus rolls his thumb in little circles against Alec’s wrist as he talks. “You know when I took a raincheck on coffee?” he asks, trying to keep his breathing measured. Alec nods again, eyes filled with concern. “Well, it was…” he trails off.

How can he begin to explain Camille? Her sharp wit and her beauty; how she would fill Magnus up with decadent, loving promises of forever and be gone by the morning.

He’s not seen her in just over half a year, not since she’d come to visit him for a week in LA and he’d found her in bed with another guy. It was almost laughable how cliché it was, the start of a terrible rom com happening so close to Hollywood.

“Do you remember Camille Belcourt?” Magnus asks instead, changing tack.

“Yes,” Alec says, a little hesitantly. “You dated her in your sophomore year.”

Magnus nods. “And on and off throughout college,” he says, “When she graduated she came back to New York, but last year she made plans to move to LA. I was kind of helping out since it’s been pretty hard on her.”

He sighs and pulls the blankets closer around the pair of them. “Anyway, she used to love being on stage, so I spoke to Luke and asked if it would be okay to invite her over, you know, for a part in the play. To cheer her up.”

Alec hums, eyes fixed on where Magnus’ thumb is still moving. Magnus watches him for a moment, eyes slightly narrowed, and it’s a while longer before Alec looks up.

“Oh, that’s -?” he starts, tilting his head. “That’s what you needed to tell me? That Camille’s gonna be in the play?”

Magnus blinks. “My ex-girlfriend, Camille,” he says, just in case Alec hasn’t grasped this. “That’s not weird for you?”

Alec looks at him, then shrugs lopsidedly. “Why would it be weird?” he asks.

“I just don’t want you to think that there’s anything going on between us, I guess,” Magnus says eventually, still struggling with how easy this conversation has been. “Camille can - she’s very good at pushing people’s buttons. But I’m not with her, I’m…” Magnus entwines his fingers with Alec’s. “I’d like to be with you.”

A slow smile spreads across Alec’s face and he holds Magnus’ hand tighter. “I’d like that too,” he promises. Then he shakes his head. “I trust you, Magnus. We’ve both dated other people. We can be mature about it.”

Alec surprises Magnus when a moment later he asks, “How do you feel about seeing Camille again?”

Magnus hesitates for just a second. “Yeah, fine,” he says, and he thinks he managed to cover it so Alec didn’t notice.

Alec just watches him for a moment, smiling, and then his grin grows wider.

“You have a thing for dating your high school exes, huh?” he teases.

Unable to help the laugh that escapes him, Magnus swats Alec. “Shut up,” he says, but he’s still laughing.

Alec looks far too pleased with himself.

“I’m a little hung up on one in particular,” Magnus adds, which makes Alec’s breath hitch, a smaller, sweeter smile spreading across his face.

He moves so that his legs are no longer draped over Magnus’, kneeling up to straddle him instead.

“Yeah?” Alec asks, slightly breathless. He rests his forearms on Magnus’ shoulders and runs his fingers through the short hair at the base of Magnus’ neck.

Magnus hums, splaying his fingers over Alec’s chest. “In fact,” he says, without looking up, “you could even say you’re the one that I want.”

He glances up and catches Alec beaming at him. Struggling to bite down on his laughter but helpless against how good Alec looks, Magnus kisses him, but too soon Alec is pulling away.

“Wait,” he says slowly, squinting one eye at Magnus, “did you just -?”

Magnus raises an eyebrow and gives Alec an innocent look. Alec regards him a little longer and then shakes his head, brushing his lips in gentle kisses along Magnus’ jaw.

Magnus smiles and buries his face in Alec’s hair. He doesn’t mean to start humming the song, but once he does, he can’t stop.

“You did!” Alec says accusingly, head snapping up so he can look at Magnus.

“Alexander, it’s not my fault,” Magnus says, sliding his palms over Alec’s skin. Alec narrows his eyes. “I’ve got chills,” Magnus adds. “They’re multiplying.”

Alec rolls his eyes rather spectacularly and lifts himself off Magnus’ lap.

“Get out,” he says, flinging his hand out to point at the door.

“But I’m losing control!” Magnus protests, grinning. He tackles Alec to the bed and kisses him soundly, and only when he’s sure Alec has forgiven him does he whisper, “the power you’re supplying, it’s -”

“We are never having sex again.”

∞

“Let me get this straight,” Raphael says, pinching the bridge of his nose, “you invited Camille to New York.”

Magnus places the takeaway cup of coffee down next to Raphael’s scribbled-on script and then sits down on a chair opposite him.

“Yeah, I -”

“Not only did you invite her to New York,” Raphael continues, as if Magnus hadn’t spoken, “you invited her to the play .”

Magnus hums affirmation and takes a sip of his coffee, knowing it’s best not to interrupt Raphael when he’s in his stride like this.

“ Not only did you invite her to the play, you got her a role playing someone who gets in the way of your character’s relationship. Ironic doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

Sensing Raphael has made his point, Magnus tips his head in acknowledgement. “But,” he says, bringing the coffee cup to his lips, “I did also convince Ragnor to be Teen Angel, so, you know.”

Raphael gives Magnus one of his most unimpressed looks. Magnus pouts into his coffee.

“You refuse to see the good in her,” Magnus says half-heartedly.

“And you refuse to see the bad in her,” Raphael fires back immediately, “the worst of which has happened to you first hand.”

Magnus sighs and kicks his feet up on the lightboard. Raphael shoves them back to the floor.

“I know what it’s like to move to a new state,” Magnus says eventually. “I didn’t want her to have to go through that alone. I wanted to help her.”

“What, and you couldn’t help her stay in LA? Permanently? As in, a whole country’s distance away from you?” Raphael says with a roll of his eyes. He finally picks up his coffee and drinks some.

“Everything will be fine,” Magnus says, subtle as a sledgehammer about avoiding Raphael’s questions. Raphael doesn’t say anything, he simply regards Magnus and then gives a slight shake of his head, turning to his script.

Magnus’ jaw clenches. “I know what she’s like, Raph,” he says sincerely. “I know what she’s done. I didn’t invite her here with my eyes closed.”

Raphael’s grip around his coffee cup tightens. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt again,” he says quietly, and then he tilts his head and his hand relaxes. “You were a real pain in my ass about it when it happened before.”

Magnus smiles as he stands. He crosses the small booth in two strides, squeezing Raphael’s shoulder on his way out. Raphael’s warning of, “Be careful, Magnus,” follows him.

It’s only a short walk from the lighting booth to the empty classroom functioning as the green room. Jace and Maia are on their way out, bickering playfully as they leave. Camille comes in just after Magnus arrives, dressed in a pair of yoga pants and a red bralet.

She smiles at Magnus, lips scarlet.

“Magnus,” she says, walking over to him. He looks her over and offers her his own forced smile. “I knew it wouldn’t be long before you wanted to see me again.”

Magnus squares his shoulders. “Camille,” he greets. Even though he already knows, he asks, “How have your dance rehearsals with Meliorn been going?”

“Oh, perfectly,” Camille says, with a flick of her brow. “He’s enchanting. But so are you.”

She moves closer, circling behind him as he stands still, focussing on breathing.

“It’s a shame you’ve not been able to attend a rehearsal with me yet,” she adds. Her voice drops and she presses against Magnus’ side so she can murmur, “I’ve missed you.”

“It’s not been the same without you,” Magnus replies, which is true, but he’s not sure she’ll take it in the way he means. “I’ve been busy.”

“Hm, with your high school boy toy, I hear,” Camille says, pulling away from Magnus. Her lips curve up and she holds out her hand. “Why don’t we go and practice?”

Magnus is saved from having to answer by Alec appearing in the doorway, looking slightly tense, as he always does by this point in the show. Alec glances between Magnus and Camille and her outstretched hand, then licks his lips.

“We’re starting from the top of Act II in five minutes,” he says, with a nod behind him to the stage. “Places, please.”

Magnus has spent enough time around Alec in this job to know his face when someone’s talking to him over his headset, and, sure enough, he turns away, presumably off to deal with some emergency, without looking at Magnus again.

Dread curls tightly in Magnus’ stomach. Which is ridiculous, because he hadn’t been doing anything - it was Camille, as usual, almost as if she could sense Alec coming.

“Magnus?” she asks, sending him a smile and still offering her hand.

Magnus nods, following her out the door without taking her hand, wanting nothing more than to find Alec and explain.

Maybe it’s not worth it, all the hoping and the longing and wondering. Letting himself believe he could have something like this again...there was a reason he’d kept his heart caged away until Alec had fallen back into his life and unlocked it with a key he didn’t even know he had.

Magnus should have built the walls around his heart higher. Then he wouldn’t be aching at fucking everything up with Alec like this.

He forces himself to breathe and push everything away as he reaches the stage. They launch immediately into Act II, which starts with the school prom. Learning the choreo for all the musical numbers in this scene has been a pain in the ass, but Meliorn seems mostly pleased whenever Magnus catches sight of him from the front row of the empty auditorium.

Magnus is only a little apprehensive about dancing with Camille. She’s a quick learner, having been dancing for as long as he can remember, and Meliorn has reassured Magnus that her rehearsals have been excellent. Magnus himself has been learning the routine with one of Raphael’s friends, Eloise, taking Camille’s place.

Beyond that, while whatever romantic relationship they had crashed and burned a long time ago, there’s still a spark between them. They have an undeniable chemistry, something that draws Magnus to her, and he knows Camille knows this when she takes his hand and starts dancing with him, a glint in her eye.

The routine doesn’t go flawlessly; he hadn’t expected it would. He and Camille move with a familiar intimacy, but something stutters between them whenever she gets too close. Her fingers burn his skin when she grips his wrist, reminding him of how she’d grabbed onto him that last day when he’d walked out, her promises to change still ringing in his ears.

Magnus masks his emotions with a broad grin as the number ends with a bang, not sure if his inability to breathe is from the exertion of the dance or from being so close to Camille again.

Luke and Meliorn are conferring in the front row, but they both seem reasonably happy. Camille won’t let go of him when they come off the stage for the set change, but Magnus manages to shake her off with a vague excuse about finding water.

He slips quietly across backstage, standing in the wings to watch Izzy do her solo. The gentle melody washes over him, but it doesn’t calm him completely. Magnus doesn’t want Raphael to be right, but Camille’s lingering touches have left him with a knot in his stomach.

Izzy builds into the final chorus of the song with ease. Sensing someone’s eyes on him, Magnus turns around.

Alec is standing a few paces behind him. In a brief reprieve, Izzy’s solo involves a single spotlight, so Alec has a moment to catch his breath.

“Hey,” Magnus whispers, wanting to reach out to Alec. His hands remain at his sides.

Alec watches him for a moment. Magnus doesn’t know how to read Alec’s expression, and that in itself makes his stomach squeeze.

“Hi,” replies Alec. His gaze dips over Magnus’ body, and then he throws Magnus a loop when he offers him a beautiful smile.

Alec moves closer, stopping just far enough away that the edge of his prompt book grazes Magnus’ arm. Magnus wonders, for one desperately hopeful moment, if Alec is going to kiss him.

Behind them, Izzy is finishing up her solo. Magnus knows his chance of talking with Alec is slipping away. He opens his mouth to say something, and -

“You look fucking amazing when you dance,” Alec murmurs in his ear, and then he’s pulling away, jabbering cue commands into his headset like he didn’t just casually set Magnus’ pulse racing.

Something warm floods through Magnus’ chest and he starts smiling widely, feeling his apprehension begin to melt away.

The rehearsal finishes up within the next hour and a half. Proud accomplishment blankets the edges of everyone’s exhaustion: they can feel it all coming together now. It’s starting to get real, and Magnus hopes they can pull it off.

After the group meeting at the end of the night where Luke, Meliorn and Maureen give the cast notes on their performances, Magnus makes his way out. He says goodbye to Luke and Raphael before he leaves, simply smiling at Raphael’s raised eyebrow.

Though he’s tired, Magnus feels infinitely better when he sees Alec leaning against the car door, smiling at him. He falls dramatically against Alec’s chest, relieved at how Alec doesn’t push him away. Instead, he wraps his arms around Magnus and presses the pair of them closer together.

“Take me home,” Magnus says into Alec’s shirt, and he can feel the vibrations of Alec’s laughter.

“Jace’ll be there,” says Alec, kissing Magnus’ temple.

Magnus lifts his head. “It’s either Jace or my mom,” he says, lip curled. “Besides, I can be quiet.”

Alec’s expression tells Magnus exactly what he thinks about that . Magnus gives Alec’s ass a light tap in response and is opening his mouth to say something when Jace brushes past the pair of them and dumps his bag in the backseat of the car.

“I’ll put my noise-cancelling headphones in,” Jace says, hands up in surrender, voice defeated, “but please at least wait until you get home.”

They do wait until they get home, if only because Alec is driving.

When they get back to the brothers’ apartment, Jace heads up to their floor with a pained expression that makes Magnus laugh. He lingers in the lobby, waiting for Alec to park the car.

Alec offers Magnus his hand as they climb the stairs, which makes Magnus’ heart thump happily. They reach the front door and Alec glances back at him with a smile, which Magnus returns.

It’s a little less frantic than the last time he was here, but he’d still very much like to kiss Alec.

They end up cuddling in bed, Magnus’ body curved around Alec’s. Alec’s long fingers trace gentle patterns on Magnus’ arms where they’re wrapped around his waist, and Magnus lets his lips linger on the back of Alec’s neck.

“Are you asleep?” Alec asks quietly.

Magnus hums, content. “Almost,” he says, eyes closed, revelling in the warmth of Alec’s body against his own.  

Alec doesn’t say anything again for so long Magnus wonders if Alec himself has fallen asleep, but then he breaks the silence.

“Can I ask you something about Camille?”

Magnus stills, heart rate ticking up, suddenly feeling awake.

“What do you want to know?” he asks carefully.

Alec switches to rubbing little circles on Magnus’ arm with his thumb. “You don’t have to tell me,” he says first, burrowing his head into the pillow more. “You just seemed...off, earlier. I want to make sure you’re okay, and that you know you can talk about it if you’re not.”

Magnus swallows and snuggles closer to Alec. Maybe if he holds on tight enough, Alec won’t leave.

“Camille knows me better than almost anyone,” Magnus murmurs, “which means she knows my insecurities better than anyone, too.”

Alec makes a soft, thoughtful noise and twists in Magnus’ arms so that they’re facing. He rests his hand on the side of Magnus’ neck, thumb caressing Magnus’ jaw gently, and Magnus closes his eyes at the touch.

“She was more than just your on-off college girlfriend,” Alec says, half a question.

Magnus nods. “I loved her. I was so in love with her.” Then he realises what he’s just said, and frowns, slowly opening his eyes to look at Alec. “I’m sorry if that’s weird.”

“It’s not weird,” Alec says immediately, hazel eyes serious. “You can say what you feel, Magnus.”

Magnus looks at Alec, slightly bowled over.

“I told you before that Camille was hoping to move to Cali,” Magnus continues a moment later, clearing his throat. “She used to stay with me while she was looking at places and job hunting and so on, and we rekindled our relationship. I didn’t realise that she didn’t view it with the same exclusivity I did until I was, quite literally, confronted with the evidence.”

Alec’s expression darkens. “She cheated on you?”

Magnus smiles wryly. “Several times. None of my friends were impressed when I took her back, Raphael especially. But she always promised it was a mistake, and that she would change for me, because she loved me. I wanted so badly to believe her.”

Alec doesn’t say anything, he just stares at a point over Magnus’ left shoulder with a furrow in his brow. Eventually his expression clears and he looks at Magnus.

“Thank you for telling me,” he says.

Magnus blinks at the sweet, wonderful man in front of him and almost feels like crying.

“Thank you for listening,” says Magnus, and when Alec pulls him into a hug, Magnus holds him back just as tightly.

∞

Magnus is replying to a text from his mom when there’s a knock at the classroom door. He stands, leaving his phone on one of the desks, and goes to open the door, since he’s the only person in the room. Everyone else is still in makeup or getting dressed.

“Alec?” Magnus asks, not expecting his boyfriend to be there. It’s opening night and Alec has a thousand and one other things to do, but here he is, smiling at Magnus, unsuccessfully hiding something behind his back.

“I got you something,” Alec says, pulling the large bouquet of red roses out with a flourish.

Magnus blinks at him, then at the flowers. A smile spreads over his face as he takes them from Alec, their fingers brushing in the process. He can’t help asking, “For me?”

Alec rolls his eyes fondly. “Yes, for you.”

Magnus opens the little card nestled amongst the roses. His fingers brush Alec’s scrawled handwriting: Maybe some people are just meant to be in the same story. ― Jandy Nelson.

“What are these for?” Magnus asks, looking up at Alec with a smile, overcome with affection.

“I know I’m supposed to give you them after the show,” Alec says, rubbing the back of his neck, “but I couldn’t wait any longer. Besides, I know you’ll be incredible. You always are.”

“Alexander…” Magnus places the bouquet on one of the desks and then threads his fingers through Alec’s hair, kissing him soundly. He rests their foreheads together when they pull away, gaze flickering over Alec’s face. His eyes are still closed and he’s just breathing Magnus in.

Magnus wants him forever.

“I’m so glad you’re back in my life,” Magnus says, and watches as a lopsided smile spreads across Alec’s face.

“Me too,” Alec whispers, hands gripping the leather of Magnus’ T-bird jacket. Then he blinks his eyes open and frowns the slightest bit. “I mean, ‘I’m glad you’re back in my life too’, not ‘I’m glad I’m back in your life too’?”

Magnus just laughs and kisses him again. Alec’s hands start creeping towards Magnus’ hair and Magnus reluctantly has to pull away.

“I don’t know whether Jocelyn or Clary would kill you first if you mess my hair up,” Magnus says, grinning. “Later.”

Alec scrunches his nose at Magnus, then nods. “I should get back anyway.”

“Yeah, go do your job,” Magnus says, knocking Alec with his elbow. Alec rolls his eyes with a smile, and he’s almost out of earshot when Magnus calls his name. “You look really hot in black, did you know?”

Magnus carries Alec’s answering grin with him through the whole performance.

Opening night goes spectacularly well. A couple of the backing dancers get in a bit of a palava during the final song and the mics cut out for a second in the first act, but mostly it runs perfectly. The audience go wild when the cast come back to take their bows and Luke is so proud when he gathers them all to review the night.

Magnus’ mom tells Magnus later that the Summer Nights number was her favourite part of the show. Magnus’ favourite part was when Alec had pushed him up against a wall during intermission and kissed him senseless.

“That leather jacket ,” was all Alec had offered in explanation, before his eyes darkened and he kissed Magnus again.

Everything falls apart on Saturday. By the third performance, tensions are running high - they know they can get through it, but everyone’s exhausted and irritable. Alec and Raphael have been sniping at each other all day, as have Jace and Maia.

When Camille turns up beside him, Magnus really isn’t in the mood.

He’s not sure whose fault it is, but they mess up their routine a little. No one would have been able to tell from the audience, but Camille shoves him once they’re in the wings and Magnus has to count to ten before he reminds himself to let it drop.

Not even seeing Ragnor singing Beauty School Drop Out lifts his spirits, even though on any other occasion Magnus would be filming it for posterity. At this point, he just wants the damn play done, so he never has to see Camille again and can enjoy spending time with his old friends.

The entire cast sits tersely through a review of the night with Luke, who looks like he’s just barely keeping it together himself. Camille keeps shooting him daggers across from where they’re all gathered, and Magnus can’t wait to escape to the peace of his mom’s home.

He’s not seen Alec since intermission, so he’s pulling out his phone to text him when Camille catches up with him.

“What the hell?” she asks, her blood red nails gripping his arm. “You nearly dropped me!”

“No, I didn’t,” Magnus says, clenching his jaw. “I was thrown off by you spinning the wrong way but we pulled it back. No one even realised.”

“That’s not the point,” Camille snaps. “You should be able to trust your dance partner.”

Magnus levels a glare at her. “You really want to talk about trust, Camille? After everything you’ve done?”

Camille is about to say something else when Magnus feels a light touch on the small of his back.

“Hey,” Alec says, glancing between the two of them with his brow furrowed, “what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Magnus says tiredly, biting away his agitation. He turns away and takes Alec’s hand. “Come on, let’s go home.”

“He’s cute, Magnus,” Camille says loudly, and when Magnus faces her again she’s eyeing Alec with a smirk. “I can’t see it lasting, though.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Alec asks, dropping Magnus’ hand and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well, you already broke up once, right?” Camille asks, amused. “You were high school boyfriends,” she adds. “Don’t you think Alec’s moved on to something better by now, Magnus?”

Alec glares at her. “You don’t know anything about -” he starts to say, but then he meets Magnus’ eyes and falls quiet.

“I know he was your dirty little secret,” Camille spits out, gaze crawling up Alec’s body. Magnus grits his teeth and shoots her a furious look. “Why would Magnus want to be with someone who would treat him like that?”

Alec deflates next to Magnus, curling his shoulders in on himself, and Magnus’ blood boils.

“That’s enough,” he snaps. “Leave Alec out of this, Camille. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Camille appraises him, eyes narrowing. She opens her mouth again, but Magnus quells whatever she was going to say.

“You can say whatever the hell you want to me,” Magnus continues, “but don’t ever speak to Alec like that again.”

He turns away, unable to look at Camille any longer. His heart is thumping and he can hardly think straight as he storms out of the room and makes his way down the hall, wanting to put as much space between him and Camille as possible.

“Magnus,” Alec calls weakly, catching up with him. He grabs Magnus’ arm and then slides his hand down it, gently taking Magnus’ hand in his own. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Magnus bites out, then he closes his eyes and draws in a breath. “I just want to go,” he says, tone gentler.

Alec nods, swallowing. “Let me just find Jace and I’ll -”

“No, Alec,” Magnus says tiredly, “I mean, I want to go home.”

“Oh,” Alec says, face falling. “Yeah, of course.”

He takes a step back, dropping Magnus’ hand, and Magnus already misses the warmth of Alec’s touch against his skin.

“We can talk about all that in the morning,” Magnus offers, pinching the bridge of his nose and wishing this car crash of a night could be over. “I would ask if you wanted to come with me, but I don’t expect you’ll want to -”

“I do,” Alec says at once, managing to soothe the edges of Magnus’ irritation. “I mean, if that’s okay. I don’t want to invite myself.”

“No, it’s alright,” Magnus says. He checks the time on his phone. “Mom’ll be in bed by now but I’ll leave a note letting her know you’re there too.”

Alec offers him a tentative smile but he doesn’t reach out to Magnus again, and Magnus doesn’t know what to make of that. He’s too exhausted to deal with it all now, settling for hoping to high heaven that Camille hasn’t fucked everything up for them.

The drive back to Magnus’ house is quiet, neither of them feeling like making conversation. When Magnus turns the engine off, silence settles around them.

He glances over at Alec and finds him with his head tipped back against the seat, his eyes closed.

“Alexander?” he says softly, wanting to wake him gently if he’s asleep.

Alec’s eyes open and he turns to Magnus with something like guilt in his gaze. He licks his lips and squints out the window of the driver’s door, but he doesn’t end up saying anything.

They get out the car, the air uneasy between them. Finally, as Magnus goes to unlock the front door of the house, Alec speaks.

“Do you resent me for keeping our relationship a secret in high school?” he asks, tone plaintive.

Magnus’ heart twists painfully. He stops trying to unlock the door and turns around, reaching for Alec’s hand.

“No,” he says, not entirely sure how to convince Alec of his sincerity. Alec entwines his fingers with Magnus’, meeting his eyes, and relief floods through Magnus. “You were in the closet, Alec. Of course I don’t resent you.”

Magnus sighs and rubs his free hand over his face. “Camille was completely out of order,” he continues. “I’m sorry she said that to you.”

“You’re not responsible for her,” Alec says, frowning slightly. “She said some awful things to you too, Magnus.”

“I know,” Magnus shrugs, “and I can deal with it.”

“You don’t have to, though,” Alec says, moving closer. “I’ll always be here for you, and to remind you how wonderful you are. I mean that.”

Magnus closes his eyes for a moment, nodding and ignoring the feeling of tears welling up. He opens his eyes and blinks the tears away, meeting Alec’s gaze.

“I don’t want her to get between us,” Magnus responds after a moment, gesturing between the two of them.

Alec shakes his head. “She won’t. I won’t let her,” he says determinedly. He cups Magnus’ face with one hand, a small, but genuine, smile blooming on his face. “You mean too much to me. You’re the one that I want.”

Magnus chokes out a laugh, nodding. “Okay. I believe you.”

“Good,” Alec replies, sealing his promise with a kiss.

∞

Before Magnus knows it, he’s being pulled into wakefulness, sooner than he would have liked. After the events of the evening before, he’s not looking forward to heading down to the school for closing night, and would rather spend a Sunday morning wrapped up in bed with his deliciously warm boyfriend.

Alec chooses that moment to start fiddling with the waistband of Magnus’ sweatpants, and Magnus bats his hand away, laughing slightly.

“I think I can hear my mom making breakfast,” he says, closing his eyes and settling back into the pillow. “Stop trying to feel me up.”

He feels Alec smile against his neck, and then Alec’s propping himself up on his elbows, over Magnus’ body.

“Are we okay?” Alec asks, voice hushed in the stillness of the morning. Magnus reaches up to run his fingers through Alec’s hair.

“Yeah,” he whispers. “We’re good.”

He’s just about to brush their lips together when something strikes him.

“Hey,” Magnus says, gently pushing Alec back onto the bed and then sitting up himself, “guess what I found?”

Alec blinks at him a couple of times, then shakes his head. “What?”

Magnus grins and slips out of bed, wandering over to pick up the keepsake box on his dresser. He pads back to the bed and settles in beside Alec, who wraps his arm around him.

“What’s this?” Alec asks, peering at the box. Magnus gently eases the lid off.

“I found it the other week when I was sorting out some of my stuff,” Magnus explains. “I completely forgot I kept them.”

Magnus lets Alec sift through the sheets of paper in the box, a collection of all the poems Alec had ever written for him. Alec picks one out and reads the first line scrawled on the page, then lets out a sound halfway between a laugh and a groan.

“Oh my God,” he says, smiling as he brushes the ink on the page.

“Such a romantic,” Magnus teases, kissing down Alec’s neck.

“ You kept them,” Alec retorts, but there’s no real heat to it. “In fact, I think that looks like a tear mark…”

Magnus laughs and takes the paper from Alec’s hands, inspecting it closely. “When was this one from?”

Alec hums. “Remember when we had that picnic in Central Park after hours?” he says, the hand slung across Magnus’ shoulders beginning to trace light patterns on his skin.

“I kept trying to feed you chocolate covered strawberries but you wouldn’t let me,” Magnus muses, smiling.

“No,” Alec laughs, burying his face in Magnus’ shoulder, “you said you were going to feed me but ate them all before you could!”

Magnus’ noise of disagreement gets lost in the delightful sound of Alec’s laughter.

Alec’s still smiling when he says, “That’s what love is, right? Giving up the chocolate covered strawberries?”

Magnus’ breath hitches. “Love?” he asks, looking right at Alec.

A bigger lopsided smile brightens Alec’s face. “Yeah,” he says, reaching out and catching Magnus’ chin with his thumb and forefinger.

"Magnus," Alec says, his voice soft and honest, "I love you."

Magnus just watches Alec, taking in his smile in the morning light and his gentle touch. His heart is tripping over itself with joy and he sits for a moment, soaking up the simple pleasure of being with Alec.

He can’t believe he’s fallen in love all over again, though he’s not sure if he ever really stopped loving Alec. His high school sweetheart, the soft-faced gangly boy who had so much love to give, if only it had somewhere it was allowed to go; the boy, who’s grown into a man who’s more comfortable in his skin now, but still has the same heart.

A man who loves him.

Magnus’ voice is more level than he thought it would be when he replies.

“I love you, too,” Magnus says.

Alec leans in and presses their lips together, kissing Magnus so sweetly. Magnus loses himself in it, curling a hand around Alec’s bicep and drawing him closer. Eventually the box gets upended and they break apart, each placing the poems back into the box with careful fingers.

Alec stops on one in particular, and Magnus can’t help smiling when he sees which one Alec’s holding.

“You wrote that one after our first kiss,” Magnus says, leaning into Alec’s side.

Alec grins and kisses the bare skin of Magnus’ shoulder. “I stayed up half the night for you,” he teases.

Magnus smiles at Alec and is about to reply when a knock sounds at the door. He pushes Alec away gently and adjusts the blankets around them.

“Come in,” he calls.

His mother pokes her head in, black hair pulled into a bun on the top of her head.

“I made breakfast,” she tells them.

“Thanks, mama,” Magnus says, at the same time as Alec says, “Thank you, Mrs Bane,” which Magnus can’t help but find endearing.

She leaves them with a smile and closes the door behind her. Alec swings his legs over the side of the bed and starts looking for his shirt, before Magnus takes pity on him, rolling his eyes affectionately.

“Here,” Magnus says, padding over to his wardrobe. His fingers dance along the rail until he finds one of his plainest shirts, a short-sleeved black Henley, and tosses it to Alec.

Alec glances at the shirt, then at Magnus. “Uh…” he begins.

Magnus raises an eyebrow at him, then turns back to the wardrobe, trying to pick out his own shirt. “Problem?” he asks.

“This isn’t going to fit me,” Alec says after a moment.

“We’re not that different in size,” Magnus says, settling on a summery white shirt with teal braiding.

Alec doesn’t reply and Magnus spins to look at him. Alec gestures at Magnus’ chest with his free hand.

“But your shoulders,” he says, a little hopelessly, and Magnus can’t help the smirk that rises to his face in response.

Eventually Alec recovers and gets dressed, the shirt a little baggy around his shoulders, then they both head downstairs.

Breakfast is delicious, his mom having prepared a whole table full of food since they have a guest over. Alec laughs at every joke Magnus’ mom tells over coffee, his hand clasped in Magnus’ own under the table.

Magnus’ heart feels so full it could burst.

Just as they finish cleaning the kitchen, Magnus gets a text from Luke to have a quick word before the show. Magnus’ mom hugs them both when they leave later that afternoon, making Alec promise to stop by for dinner before the end of the next week.

They arrive at the school around half an hour later and meet Luke backstage.

“Ah, Magnus, Alec,” Luke says, clapping Magnus on the shoulder.

Alec glances between them. “I’ll -” he gestures somewhere near the props area. “I’ll go check in with Simon.”

He kisses Magnus’ cheek before he leaves, which makes Magnus blush. He ducks his head when he sees Luke watching them with a raised eyebrow, feeling like a teenager with a crush under the gaze of his old teacher.

“Just glad you’re happy,” Luke says, innocently.

Magnus smiles. “Thank you. You wanted to speak to me?”

Luke nods. He glances around, then steps a little closer to Magnus. “I heard about what happened yesterday night,” he says, voice careful. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay and that you feel comfortable going ahead tonight.”

Magnus sighs. “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.” He shakes his head. “Camille gets under my skin, but I can be professional about it. Tonight’s the final night. I can deal with her bullshit.”

Luke gives Magnus a searching look, then nods.

When he leaves Luke, Magnus heads over to wardrobe - another empty classroom where they’ve been storing the costumes - to get changed and then finds Clary to get his makeup done.

“Hey, biscuit,” Magnus says, hugging her quickly before sitting down. Clary gives him a smile in the mirror, twirling her makeup brushes.

Magnus closes his eyes, expecting her to start, but after a pause he opens one eye. Clary’s smiling down at her phone, but she hastily places it on the desk and loads up a clean brush when she sees she’s been caught.

“What?” she asks innocently, laughing.

“Isabelle?” Magnus guesses, closing his eyes again with a smile.

“Yeah,” Clary acknowledges, and Magnus can hear the happiness in her tone. “It’s weird, you know, ‘cause we’ve been friends for such a long time and it’s the play that brought us together.”

Magnus can’t help grinning. “I know the feeling,” he says.

Clary hums. “You and Alec are so good together,” she tells him. “I can see how happy he makes you.”

Magnus agrees with her. Having Alec in his life makes him feel a contentment he hadn’t realised he’d been missing.

Soon the other cast members begin to trickle in. Doors open not too long after, and as they all make their way to the wings for the final time, something like sadness settles in Magnus’ stomach. He feels like he’s eighteen again and performing in his final high school show before graduating, not knowing he’d never be the same person or feel exactly that way again.

Camille avoids Magnus like the plague but he can’t find it in himself to care, ignoring her right back. After their scene is done he never has to see her again, and he’ll take Raphael’s crowing about how he’s always right over having to be around her any day.

Their final bows are bittersweet. Mostly Magnus is relieved it’s over, but as he stares out at the auditorium, full to the brim, he thinks that maybe they’ve pulled it off - maybe they’ve saved the department. Then he’s suddenly struck with a worry that this whole thing, seeing his old friends and everything with Alec, might only exist in the bubble they’ve created over the past few months.

The thought makes his throat tight as they clap for the orchestra and the crew when they come on stage. He tries to push it aside and cheers loudly as Max Lightwood bounds onto the stage, carrying a large bouquet of flowers for Luke. It’s no surprise, since Max chatters on about how inspiring his Drama teacher is to anyone who will listen.

Aline, Raj, Elias, and Dot bring out flowers for the other main crew members, Meliorn, Maureen, Raphael, and Alec, and then they all take a final bow.

Amongst all the oh my God it’s over highs, Magnus is so busy hugging and congratulating everyone that it takes him a while to notice his mom’s arrived backstage. He releases Dot from a hug and hangs back, watching his mom and Alec interact, not wanting to intrude.

Alec takes a smaller bouquet from Magnus’ mom, his smile wide as she says something to him. Magnus can’t hide his smile at the sight, or the fact that Alec fits with his family.

Later, Alec catches Magnus’ arm.

“Hey,” he says, grinning. “You were amazing tonight. I just wanted to tell you.”

Magnus smiles, squeezing Alec’s hand. “Thank you, darling,” he says. “We couldn’t do it all without you, though.”

Alec smiles back at him, moving closer. “I also wanted to know if you were doing anything next weekend,” he asks. Magnus tilts his head slightly, looking at Alec.

“I’m sure I can fit you into my schedule. What are you thinking?” Magnus asks, trying to tamp down on his smile. The fact that Alec is already making plans for after the show is done makes his heart swell and he wonders if Alec will ever know how simply and earnestly he soothes Magnus’ worries.

Alec shrugs easily. “I wanna take you somewhere. We could go see a movie,” he suggests. “Or we could go to Far Rockaway.”

Magnus moves closer and loops his arms around Alec’s neck so there’s no room in between them.

“Okay,” he agrees, and his heart trips as he adds, “but this time I’m not letting you go.”

A slow smile spreads over Alec’s face. “Good,” he says, a teasing glint in his eyes, “because I’m hopelessly devoted to you.”

After that, Magnus doesn’t see Alec until they bump into each other at Clary’s place for the after party. When he arrives, he runs straight into Raphael and Ragnor.

“Your performance was a masterpiece,” Magnus tells Ragnor with appropriate flair.

Ragnor shakes Magnus off as he tries to link their arms. “Remind me again why we’re friends,” he says.

Raphael glances between the two of them. “I ask myself the same question on a daily basis,” he says.

Magnus just rolls his eyes and throws his arms around both of them, steering them all towards the drinks table. “You love me,” he says confidently. “Raph, have you heard anything from Luke about how much we’ve raised?” he asks.

Raphael shakes his head. “They’ve only counted the totals from the first two nights so far,” he says, “but he was happy with the turnout tonight and says Max's fundraising has been going well. You could always ask that stage manager boyfriend of yours.”

Magnus hums. Ragnor smiles at Magnus.

“I’m glad the two of you are back together,” Ragnor tells him sincerely. “He makes you smile. Happiness looks good on you.” Raphael makes a discontented sound. “Ignore Raph,” Ragnor adds. “He’s never liked Alec.”

Magnus just grins at his old friends. Raphael seems on the verge of admitting he’s proud of Magnus - there’s the barest hint of a smile playing on his lips - when his lips purse and he nods behind Magnus.

“Speak of the devil,” he says. Ragnor pulls a grumbling Raphael away with a laugh, leaving Magnus in Alec’s company.

The rest of the night passes in something of a blur. Luke and Jocelyn arrive to loud cheers and whoops. Izzy spends a suspiciously long time helping Clary get changed when someone spills punch down Clary’s dress.

Magnus pulls Alec onto the makeshift dancefloor - Clary pushed her couches to the sides of the room - and wonders if he’ll ever grow tired of holding Alec’s hand. He doubts it. At some point, someone starts blasting the Grease soundtrack, and they all groan and laugh and sing along to We Go Together anyway.  

By the early hours, everyone is exhausted. Most people have crashed - Alec curled up in Magnus’ lap on the pretext of needing to sit down and fell asleep not long after, snuggling into Magnus’ chest. Magnus strokes Alec’s hair absently as he chats to Maia in a low voice about her plans for after graduation.

Eventually, Magnus finds his own eyes closing, and he surrenders to sleep.

When he wakes the next afternoon, it’s to the mouth-watering smell of fried food. Alec, something of a vision, appears in front of Magnus’ sleepy eyes holding out a plate topped with bacon and eggs, and Magnus has never been more in love.

He stretches widely, then takes the plate with a smile.

Alec drops down onto the couch beside him. “Izzy cooked, Clary served,” he says, tucking into his own bacon sandwich, “so it’s safe to eat.”

Jace laughs from somewhere near them - Magnus is fairly sure he fell asleep with Simon in one of the armchairs. Though she’s awake, Maia’s still curled up at the end of the couch Magnus and Alec are on, and he’s fairly sure he can see Dot and Gretel’s heads poking out from a pile of blankets on the floor.

Magnus thought most of the rest of the cast and crew stumbled home as dawn broke, but the low hum of chatter from the kitchen suggests more people stayed than he realised.

He’s halfway through his food when an elated-looking Luke appears in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen.

“That was the school,” he says, waving the phone in his hand and seemingly unable to stop smiling. “We finished counting the money this morning and once they heard the total, they decided it would be viable to keep the department open!”

A rush of pride bursts through Magnus and he grins at Luke. Jace and Simon let out whoops and the noise from the kitchen has risen to excited cheering.

“And,” Luke continues, “apparently there was a donor in the audience who was so impressed with our dedication and determination that they asked for our goal and tripled it, so the department is here to stay!”

“You should be proud of yourself, Luke,” Magnus says sincerely. “We couldn’t have done it without you.”

He’s not sure who starts it, but someone calls for three cheers for Luke, and soon the apartment is filled with laughter and lightness.

∞

In the end, it’s only a couple of days before Magnus returns to the school. Since his notice period is up and he has another week or so before starting his new job, he volunteers to help the crew dismantle the sets and clean out all the classrooms they used.

Luke promises to buy him a cocktail pitcher in gratitude - a lot of the crew work during the weekdays, so the help that Magnus provides is much appreciated. While the reward of free alcohol is very pleasant, helping out also means that Magnus gets to spend time with Raphael and Luke and, of course, Alec.

He’d be lying if he said that seeing Alec’s face turn steadily pinker as he watches Magnus lifting various set pieces isn’t also a good incentive.

“Like what you see, Lightwood?” Magnus calls to him. Alec glances up from where he’s checking over the mic packs, his gaze dipping up and down Magnus’ body.

He meets Magnus’ eyes, lips curving upwards in a self-satisfied smile. “Shut up, Bane.”

Magnus laughs, placing the set piece down where he was told to. They work for another hour or so before Luke calls for a lunch break. Magnus jogs over to where Alec is, a soft smile on his face.

“Come with me,” he says, reaching for Alec’s hand. Alec instantly curls his fingers around Magnus’ and he feels his heart swell.

They make their way out of the auditorium hand in hand, and Magnus turns them away from the exit, going in the other direction instead.

“Where are you taking me?” Alec asks, laughing softly. Magnus turns and holds Alec’s other hand too, walking backwards.

“Do you remember the last time we were here,” Magnus asks, “in this hallway, together?”

Magnus watches as Alec’s eyes take in the hallway, and then his face softens. He holds Magnus’ gaze.

“The day before your graduation, yeah,” Alec replies. “That was a rough day.”

Magnus hums softly in agreement.

It had been a hard day for them both. Things had got a little tense between them, neither particularly wanting to broach the subject of Magnus’ leaving and remind them that what they had wasn’t forever. Magnus remembers his heart breaking at the bright-eyed, hopeful boy who was stuck in New York City, while Magnus went on to live out his future in California.

They had hugged, Alec’s lips lingering on Magnus’ skin in an echo of a goodbye kiss, and Magnus had squeezed Alec’s hand one last time before heading towards the exit. It had been the first time in two months that they hadn’t spent Fridays after school together.

The memory is still bittersweet, and clear as day in Magnus’ mind as they stop at the locker. Magnus drops one of Alec’s hands, running his fingers up and down the cool metal. There’s a different lock on the door now, a bright pink one that is foreign to Magnus.

“Your lock was purple,” Alec says suddenly, as if he could read Magnus’ mind.

Magnus smiles softly, nodding. “Yours was blue,” he replies easily, looking at Alec.

“Yeah,” Alec breathes out, his eyes focused on the number on the locker door. “You always had a mirror on your locker door and a picture of you and your mom taped right under it.”

Magnus’ raises his eyebrow as Alec leans on the locker next to Magnus’ former one, a movement that’s achingly familiar. Alec is obviously taller now, and broader, but, when he looks at Magnus, those big hazel eyes are the same ones Magnus fell for all those years ago.

Alec’s long fingers fiddle with the lock as he speaks. “I remember, before we kissed, I spent all this time thinking about a perfect moment where I’d come up to you, right here in front of everyone, and kiss you senseless,” he says, a faraway look in his eyes. “It was just a fantasy.” He meets Magnus’ gaze. “I wanted to do that all the time.”

“Okay,” Magnus says quietly. “So do it.”

Alec’s brows draw together in confusion, giving him a little wrinkle in his forehead. Magnus can’t stop the bright smile from spreading across his face.

“Do it. Make sixteen year old Alec Lightwood proud and kiss me senseless.”

Alec’s smile is blinding as he pushes away from the locker. He’s all Magnus can focus on as he cups Magnus’ face softly, eyes searching Magnus’ face.

Magnus grips Alec’s hips as Alec leans forward and kisses him deeply. Magnus can’t help but smile into it, his heart thumping happily in his chest. Alec turns them a little and presses Magnus against his old locker, deepening the kiss and making Magnus’ tummy flip.

They kiss for a minute or two, all passion and love that makes Magnus swoon. Alec slowly pulls away, leaning their foreheads together and pressing a soft, short kiss against Magnus’ cheek.

“I loved you so much. I still do. I love you,” Alec whispers into the air between them. One of Magnus’ hands comes up, resting on the back of Alec’s neck and playing with his hair.

“I loved you, too. Still do, and probably always will,” Magnus says, a smile on his face as Alec wraps his arms around him and pulls him into a tight hug that feels like home, safe and warm. Magnus continues playing with Alec’s hair, before kissing the side of his neck softly. “Wanna see your locker as well, before we go back to the auditorium?”

Magnus feels Alec nod before he pulls away. He takes Magnus’ hand, walking them down the familiar way to his old locker.

“You know,” Magnus comments conversationally, “I felt a little bad, sometimes, because you used to give me all those wonderful poems and I couldn’t write anything back.”

Alec hums. “I’m sure you could write poetry if you put your mind to it,” he says charitably.

Magnus just lifts his eyebrows. “I think Ragnor would disagree,” he says, with a snort. “Anyway, I used to think about giving you chemical formulae sometimes, but it’s not quite the same.”

Alec laughs loudly, the sound echoing off the lockers lining the empty corridor. “I think I had enough of that with your terrible chemistry pick up lines,” he says, still laughing.

Magnus pouts. “Asking ‘are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you’ is a perfectly valid way to ask someone out, Alexander,” he says.

Alec just laughs again, coming to a stop in the middle of the corridor. He cups Magnus’ cheek. “You’re ridiculous,” he says fondly. Then he licks his lips slowly. “That thing you said,” he begins, voice dropping low, “about loving me always…”

Magnus swallows, his heart beating fast. He tries to appear casual and lifts one eyebrow. “Yeah?”

Alec doesn’t say anything after that, just blinking at Magnus and drinking him in.

“Take me on another date first,” Magnus says, leaning closer and brushing his lips against Alec’s, “and then we can talk about forever.”

Alec smiles at him, bright and true, and entwines their fingers again. Old memories and the promise of making new ones wash over them as they walk back towards the auditorium together through the empty corridors, their hands swinging between them.