Work Text:
Here's the thing that Mingyu learns, when their lips touch for maybe two seconds on accident.
He and Minghao are both terrible kissers.
Mingyu only finds this out because they were playing one of the stupid games that Soonyoung suggested, both of them might and dizzy with alcohol. It wasn't even a kissing game. They both happened to lean at the wrong second, at the wrong angle, and bam.
They both jerked back from the contact as soon as they realized it, but since then, Mingyu hasn't been able to get Minghao and kissing out of his head.
It isn't, specifically, that he wants to kiss Minghao. But he doesn't like thinking that he's bad at something so essential, and it seems like maybe Minghao is the only person who might get it. Still, it takes Mingyu a week to bring the topic up.
This time, neither of them have been drinking. They're spread out on the floor, playing the soccer game that Jihoon always beats Mingyu at, bodies a foot apart.
Minghao scores a goal on him, and Mingyu clears his throat. “We should kiss again.”
His words interrupt Minghao’s victory cheer. He looks over at Mingyu with his brow furrowed, confused. “Again?”
This is going to be a lot harder to explain if Minghao doesn't remember the first time. Mingyu’s resolve quickly starts to either. “Well. Before, when we were at that party with Soonyoung…”
“Oh,” Minghao says, drawing the word out long in understanding. “That.”
That. The single word sticks like a rock in Mingyu’s stomach, though he isn't sure why. Minghao is one of his best friends, and this is hardly the strangest conversation they've found themselves having. It doesn't matter if Minghao says no, anyway, Mingyu reminds himself. This is about learning, not about kissing Minghao.
“I just thought,” Mingyu says, starting then quickly trailing off again. He laughs, though it comes out broken and awkward. “We both sucked. So if we do it again, we could get better.”
Minghao takes a moment to think this over seriously, a slight frown on his face. Mingyu opens his mouth to play it off, to act like it was a joke or a dumb idea, but before he gets the chance, Minghao nods. “Just as a friend thing, right?”
Mingyu’s throat feels strangely dry, and he nods. “For practice.”
Practice is something that a dancer like Minghao understands better than anything, and he pauses the game before sitting up and turning to face Mingyu. “Okay, let's try it.”
There's a flutter of nerves in Mingyu’s stomach as he sits up, facing Minghao in return. For a moment, neither of them know what to do. They hover with that same foot of space separating them, hesitating. Mingyu learns in, but he doesn't get the speed right because he winds up cracking his forehead against Minghao’s.
Minghao yelps, jerking back and rubbing the spot, a pout on his face. “You didn't have to headbutt me!”
“Sorry,” Mingyu says, holding his hands up in front of him. “I didn't mean to.”
Minghao scowls slightly, dropping his hand to his lap and apparently deciding that he should take the lead this time. He leans in more slowly, giving Mingyu too much time to think about the fact that Minghao is certainly about to kiss him. His heart is fluttering so hard with nerves that he's worried Minghao can hear it.
He doesn't quite tilt his head properly, and while their lips manage to catch each other, their noses are also crushed together and Mingyu still has his eyes open, making the whole thing seem rather ridiculous.
When Minghao pulls back a second later, the tips of his ears are red, not quite hidden by his hair. Mingyu frowns, lifting his hand slowly but not quite reaching for Minghao. “Can we try again?”
Even though he seems embarrassed, Minghao nods. Mingyu breathes out a little sigh, trying to settle himself before reaching out. He cups his hand around Minghao’s cheek, leaning in slowly with his eyes trained on Minghao’s mouth. He uses his hand to guide Minghao slightly, tilting his head to the side.
The angle this time is better, almost good, and Mingyu winds up with his lips pressed lightly to Minghao’s, remembering that he's supposed to close his eyes this time. It's hardly more than a peck, but Mingyu finds he's not sure where to go from there. He doesn't exactly have much experience to work from.
It feels strangely intimate, having his hand on Minghao’s face, but he's not sure what else to do with it. He's about to pull back, to call the whole thing a success when Minghao's lips part slightly. Mingyu’s stomach leaps into his throat, and for a second he freezes. Minghao takes over, or perhaps he doesn't notice how Mingyu goes still as a statue.
He doesn't try to shove his tongue in Mingyu’s mouth right away, but he leans his head slightly further to the side, winding up with Mingyu’s lower lip between the two of his. Mingyu wants to slide his hand around to the back of Minghao’s neck and pull him closer, but he's not sure if that's allowed when they're kissing just as friends, just for practice.
After another moment, Minghao leans back and Mingyu drops his hand quickly, hoping that he doesn't look too stunned. Minghao bites his lower lip, and for a second Mingyu can't help but stare.
Minghao smiles. “Do you think that was better?”
“Yeah, better,” he says, hoping his voice doesn’t crack. Mingyu swallows, trying to assemble his face into something close to normal.
“Cool,” Minghao says, as if it was really no bug deal, turning back to the game. It's only when he picks up his controller that Mingyu notices his ears are still red. “We can try some other time if you want.”
Mingyu nods, staring determinedly at the screen of the tv.
* * *
Trying again happens sooner than Mingyu expects, and it's not him who brings it up. Minghao asks when they're meant to be studying.
And even though the suggestion makes Mingyu’s brain grind to a halt, he nods his agreement. They're laying in Minghao’s small bed, and with a smile, he shoves his notes to the side.
More than the first time, Mingyu is nervous. On the bed, it seems like there's hardly any space between them, and no space for Mingyu to escape without throwing himself onto the floor.
He nearly does when Minghao leans in, curling his fingers in the bedspread to keep his proper balance. It's easier this time to find the right angle without smashing their faces together.
Mingyu has to admit to himself that he likes kissing Minghao far more than he likes studying. He's leaning on one elbow, using it to brace himself as Minghao leans into him. Seeking to help him balance, one of Minghao’s hands comes to rest on his waist, fingers tangling up in his shirt.
It's easier for the two of them to find a rhythm this time, rather than just pressing their faces together and waiting for something to happen. Minghao’s hand tightens slightly at Mingyu’s side, and his tongue inches out to touch Mingyu’s lower lip.
Mingyu startles so badly that he throws himself from the bed, slamming his elbow on the floor. Face red, he stares up as Minghao leans over the edge of the bed, his lips damp and parted slightly, a smile growing on his face.
“Are you okay?” He asks, barely containing his laughter. Mingyu finds himself sulking, rubbing at his bruised elbow. He's not bothered so much by falling as he is by ruining the chance he might have had at actually making out with Minghao.
“Yeah,” he says, though it's hardly more than a grumble. He picks himself up off the floor, rolling his eyes at Minghao’s continued giggling. “Shut up.”
He sits himself back on the bed, and considering the mood entirely dead, drags his notes back into his lap. Minghao, his laughter finally subsiding, leans in and pecks Mingyu on the lips, a grin still on his face.
* * *
It becomes strangely standard to kiss Minghao. It's just another form of entertainment when they're bored or want to avoid doing other work.
With practice, both of them get quite good at kissing. The awkwardness starts to fall away, and it's easy, almost routine, to lean back in bed with Minghao half on his chest. That in itself isn't a problem. Or at least, the problem is less in the kissing itself. Mainly, Mingyu is left struggling to stifle his body's natural response to all this stimulation.
Which is how he finds himself trying very hard not to have a boner while he also has Minghao’s tongue in his mouth. He has one hand balled up in the back of Minghao’s shirt, though thankfully their hips aren't anywhere close.
Up to this point, there's been an unspoken rule that all they're doing is kissing. Neither of them has made any moves toward any other kind of touching, and Mingyu doesn't want to make it weird.
It's getting harder and harder to deny to himself that part of the reason, most of the reason, he's still agreeing to these ‘practices’ is because he likes kissing Minghao. He hasn't made out with any of his other friends to find out if this is a normal reaction, but the little flutter he gets in his stomach when Minghao leans back makes him think that's probably not the case.
Having a crush on Minghao wasn't at all a part of Mingyu’s plan, but that doesn't stop him from chasing Minghao for another kiss. It makes Minghao laugh against his lips, his fingers scratching the back of Mingyu’s head. Mingyu grazes his teeth against Minghao’s lip, feeling bold until Minghao sucks in a single sharp breath.
Mingyu breaks off the kiss this time, worried he's done something wrong. But Minghao’s face is flushed, and his eyes are wide and dark, and Mingyu wishes there was any way he could shift without making the uncomfortable state of his dick obvious.
He swallows, throat feeling clogged. “Was that okay?”
Minghao nods, but for a moment he seems stuck on what to say. Mingyu tries to be patient, though he's squeezing his legs together as tightly as he can get away with. Sometimes it takes Minghao an extra moment or two to decide what to say, translating his thoughts properly into Korean.
“Can we…” he starts, then shakes his head, trailing off. Mingyu shifts the hand resting on the small of Minghao’s back, rubbing the soft material of his shirt between two fingers. Minghao drops his gaze. “Nevermind.”
“Do you wanna stop?” Mingyu asks, glancing at the movie they were once watching. It's not that he would really mind since it would give him an excuse to slip into the bathroom and adjust himself a little. He wants to flee almost as badly as he wants to kiss Minghao again.
“No! I actually wanted to try... ” he says, leaning in and pressing his lips to Mingyu’s neck, just above his adam’s apple. Mingyu hardly contains the gasp that wants to slip out of him, even if the touch is fairly light.
Instead, he ends up letting out a hysterical sounding giggle, Minghao’s lips still against his throat. “Isn't this kinda weird?”
Minghao pulls back, seeming to weigh the question for a moment before shrugging his shoulders.
It's not that Mingyu dislikes the idea of letting Minghao kiss him other places, but he's barely managing to keep the idea of it out of his head at night when he's trying to let go of some of his constantly building frustration.
He doesn't let himself get off thinking about Minghao. It doesn't seem fair. Not for the first time, Mingyu wonders if it was a mistake to ask Minghao about kissing in the first place. At least under the guise of just practicing, he didn’t have to be so worried that he was about to mess up their relationship all the time.
Attaching feelings to it makes everything too complicated, especially because Mingyu is pretty sure that as far as Minghao is concerned they’re still just doing this for fun. He’s thought before about telling Minghao they should stop, but it is fun, and Mingyu is selfish and still happy to take as much as he can get.
He sits up slowly, giving Minghao time to shift to the side rather than shoving him away. He’s about to make some kind of excuse, but he’s saved from having to explain his stupid, tangled feelings even to himself by Junhui returning from class.
Minghao smiles, bright as ever, and asks him something in Chinese. Mingyu slinks off to the bathroom before they start the movie again.
* * *
Rather than dealing with his feelings like an adult, Mingyu settles for the next best thing.
He starts avoiding situations where he’ll get stuck alone with Minghao.
It’s more difficult than he expects. Not until he starts avoiding it does he realize just how much time he’s been spending with Minghao lately. It takes a surprising amount of effort to keep Minghao at an arm’s length, and every time Mingyu turns down something like studying or going to dinner together, he feels more and more like trash for it.
He doesn’t like letting Minghao down all the time. He’s hoping that if he just avoids dealing with it for awhile, his crush will go away on its own.
Only, of course, it doesn’t work that way at all. The physical absence of Minghao just makes Mingyu feel overall miserable. Worse, he doesn’t miss kissing Minghao as much as he misses making him laugh, or seeing how excited he gets over perfecting a dance move.
It takes a few weeks for Mingyu to realize exactly how fucked he really is, but even by the time he has a grasp on it, he has no idea what he’s supposed to do about it.
Kim Mingyu doesn’t like to think of himself as being stupid, but he does let Seungcheol bully him into going out to another party even though he just wants to stay home and feel bad for himself. And he has more to drink than he probably should. And, at some point, he stops being so focused on dodging Minghao and winds up melted onto one of Soonyoung’s shitty couches next to him.
They aren’t alone, but there isn’t really anyone paying attention to what the two of them are doing, and rather than Mingyu recognizing the situation for the danger that it is, he leans all of his weight against Minghao, his head heavy on Minghao’s shoulder.
Mingyu wants to kiss him, and while that feeling isn’t new anymore, it’s never stopped making his stomach from sparking nervously at the thought.
“Are you mad at me?” He asks, a little furrow in his brow. It’s not the question he was expecting, and it takes him a moment to weigh it in his mind.
Hesitation does not seem to be the right answer, because when Mingyu doesn’t say anything, Minghao starts pushing his way off the couch. Floundering, Mingyu grabs him by the wrist, shaking his head.
“I’m not mad,” he says, trying to think of a better excuse than saying he’s been ‘busy’. Minghao frowns like he doesn’t really believe Mingyu at all.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” Minghao says, the scowl not leaving his face. Mingyu sinks back against the couch, hoping in the back of his mind that it’ll suddenly swallow him whole and keep him from having to suffer through this conversation.
“Yeah,” Mingyu says because he can’t think of something better and at this point, he’s worried that lying will only wind up making things worse. “It’s not because I was mad.”
Minghao looks like he’s not sure how to respond to that, and Mingyu sighs. His best option, really his only option, is to lay his cards on the table and admit that it was because of his stupid crush on Minghao. It’s not an attractive choice since Minghao will probably just shoot him down and Mingyu will have to be a good friend and get over it by himself.
“I think I have a crush on you,” Mingyu says.
“Is this because of the kissing thing?” Minghao asks him at the same time, their words ending up in a tangle. It makes both of them stop for a moment, staring at each other in confusion.
“Oh,” Minghao says after it sinks in. Mingyu can feel his face going red.
“So. That’s why ” he says, his fingers curling into fists on top of his thighs. He’s focused on looking anywhere but actually at Minghao. He’d like to run away again, or swallow his words back down and make up something that won’t leave the two of them sitting there awkwardly, both waiting for Minghao to reject him.
“That’s why?” Minghao asks instead, leaning into Mingyu’s space to try and look at him fully.
“Yeah,” Mingyu says with a sigh. “Sorry.”
This is not the first time Minghao has kissed him, of course, but it is the first time that Mingyu wonders if he might mean something by it. He has to lift Mingyu’s head to make it possible, and his lips are quick and gentle, more than a peck than anything else.
Still, Mingyu finds himself staring at Minghao in utter surprise and wonder. There’s a little smile on his face, and his cheeks are flushed.
“I thought you were mad because you figured out that I liked you,” he says, by way of explaining.
Mingyu nearly manages to knock them both off of the couch, flopping his body over Minghao’s with a grin, pressing a kiss against Minghao’s laughing mouth and following it up with more.