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“Sarry to bother yuh but yuh wouldn happen to know wey Maru was?” Maru’s mother asked her classmate. “Oh Maru? Yeah, their club meeting hasn’t been dismissed yet, it should in a few minutes” the student responded. “Tanks fuh di help” her mother finally said, to which the student replied musedly “No problem.”
Maru would then hear the following morning from her classmates about how funny how mothers unfamiliar accent was to them, to which she could only dejectedly respond with a forced laugh and a feigned nod in agreement all the while trying to swallow the lump of nativity that had risen in her own throat. She wanted nothing more than to defend herself, but if she did, she would only further alienate herself from the wealthy and privileged students that made up the majority of her school. It took six years for Maru to finally bury the accent that she was relentlessly teased for, the desperate attempt to forget her native tongue was the only way in her belief that she’d finally be accepted. She could at least be equal in some way to her well-off counterparts.
Little did anyone know what Maru dealt with in her life outside of school. Her financial situation as well as the relationship between her and her mother were struggling. However, Maru had found a way out, she had to leave, and it was now or never. It was her beacon of light at the end of this long, dark tunnel, a glimmer of hope that drove her and gave her a will to live. She got herself a part-time job and worked herself to the bone all the while trying to juggle school just so she could save. Whether she had to work after school, work all through the weekend or even skip school so that she could scrape together a few extra dollars, she did it. Realization dawned on Maru when all the faith she had placed in her mother, hoping that she would make a change, finally dwindled. It was then she realized that she was the one who had to make a change. It was a few months after she began working, when she could actually manage to save, that it came to her and when it did, she snatched the opportunity at an escape from her bleak world and ran with it.
She struggled to keep up at school and everyday she only had to return home to even more hardship and to top it all off work exhausted her physically while everything else exhausted her mentally. All Maru wanted was to not have to struggle in order to survive, she wanted better for herself. And so, Maru came to the conclusion that she was going to leave, she’d find an apartment, and live on her own, even if she had to struggle while doing so, she was determined. Maru didn’t want to have to leave, but she had no other choice.
While in the few moments of the day that she had to herself, her mind would return her to her childhood, a much simpler time, when she was carefree and her mother had not yet been jaded by the hardship that she faced in her life. She didn’t want to continue on in a home environment where she was treated less than human, nor did she want to continue to attend a school where she had to try so hard to fit in. The timing seemed to fall perfectly into place. She gave herself a year, a time frame in which Maru would turn 18; she’d finally be a legal adult which meant her mother would lose a significant amount of the control she held over her. The worse Maru was treated, the farther the wedge between her and her mother were driven. More than ever now she was driven to leave, she no longer wanted to live being expected to put up with her mother’s abuse, she didn’t want to suffer anymore. More than anything she just wanted to be independent, and to not to have to live in constant fear of her mother’s wrath.
As the time drew nearer, the more nervous Maru became. When she had finally managed to save enough for a down-payment and found a decent place, it was time to start packing. Maru had to wait until her mother left the house to leave. Her friend came to pick her up and help transport her luggage, and just when they thought they were in the clear, her mother unexpectedly returned early. Maru was hoping she wouldn’t have to confront her about leaving, but now, she had no choice but to. “Wat di hell yuh think yuh doin?” her mother berated, looking frantically back and forth at her and then the luggage in her hand. “Sorry Ma……………….” was all Maru could manage to get out. “Sorry? Sorry?” she repeated as her voice rose “No, I is di one who should be sorry for wastin’ all dis time tryin’ to raise you just for you to do dis to me” It surprised Maru to hear her gradually slip back into the native tongue that she’d tried so hard to repress for the last ten years after migrating. It became thicker as she went on “Yea das right, I woulda jus been betta off widdout you, I woulda still had ma husband and ma bills woulda been paid, watch how much I do fuh you and still! Yuh was and always been ah ungrateful wretch.” Her words stung. “Sorry” Maru repeated, “but I have to leave now” and with that Maru left to embark on her new life.