Work Text:
Why won't this sinking feeling in my stomach go away? The pressure in my chest is becoming unbearable, the guilt heavily weighing on me. My breath becomes shorter and I forget to breath my throat closing. I gasp for air as I remember to breath. My feelings getting heavier, sinking lower and lower. I'm realizing that I'm in love with you. This can't be happening, I can't feel this way. You who I have hated and loved and hated again. You are just supposed to be my friend, someone I can trust but not have to give my heart too. I already have that someone. That someone who loves me no matter what and I love them. My heart betrays me and says that I can love more then one, yearns for it. My love does not waiver with the one who is mine, to be honest my love is stronger then ever. So why am I falling for you? I want to to just give myself over to you, take me apart. I want to give myself to both you and the one who is already mine. Then with a gasp of air, as this fantasy burst, as reality comes crashing down, with a gust of cold air. I realize that my desires can never be, that I will have to keep these feelings caged in my heart, because I can not lose you or the one who is mine.