Work Text:
So am I wrong
For thinking that we could be something for real?
Now am I wrong
For trying to reach the things that I can't see?
Yuzuru Hanyu has never thought he would be close friends with Shoma Uno. The small, shy, closed skater has always seemed so unattainable and distant to him, and Yuzuru has always found him interesting which is why he has always tried to reach out to him. Who would ever think the younger skater actually opened up to Yuzuru, and let Yuzuru become one of the most important people in his life.
He remembered Worlds Championships in Helsinki. He was just planning to do a high five with the younger skater since his Short Program was so perfect and he did well in his Free Skate too. Yuzuru didn’t mean it to become kind of a half hug, and he also wasn’t expecting Shoma saying “It was all because of you, Yuzu-kun.”
If Yuzuru didn’t realize the cameras are everywhere in the green room, also the fact that Boyang and Patrick were there, he would freeze right in front of his junior right there right now. But when he lets go, Shoma was smiling to him and he thought he had done well trying to make this skater open up.
Shoma continues laughing and smiling a lot through interviews with Yuzuru, and Yuzuru is so happy that he’s comfortable around him. He stated Yuzuru as king and Yuzuru swore he didn’t blush. Putting everything aside, Yuzuru is so happy. He’s so happy. Shoma looked like he enjoyed the gala practice and even played around with Boyang and Nathan despite not being able to communicate that well, and Yuzuru is so proud he’s opening up to others.
Never forget World Team Trophy 2017.
Yuzuru fucked up his Short Program real bad. It was awful, hideous, you name it. 7th. He was feeling so low and it felt like the world is turning all the odds against him right now, until Shoma initiated the hug. Hell, they didn’t even hug properly and the 19-years-old skater had already taken half of the pain away. Truly amazing.
Yuzuru remembered cheering for Shoma. His performances this past season have been amazing. He would be lying if he said he’s not proud of him. So he told him thank you, he complimented him until he’s tired—actually no, he’d never get tired of complimenting Shoma. Shoma just smiled and bowed slightly and said thank you over and over again but Yuzuru found him as nothing but endearing.
Mai and Wakaba killed it right there. Yuzuru is so proud of both of them, but he is also so happy cheering for both of them with Shoma. Shoma with flower crowns, Shoma with a bowtie. God, isn’t this event a blessing? 2 years ago Yuzuru wouldn’t even think Shoma would actually smile in public. And now look at him.
Shoma spent the banquet sticking to Yuzuru, interacting with skaters and smiling and laughing and having small conversations. He even took pictures with a lot of their friends, and Yuzuru joked around comfortably around him. Yuzuru is definitely living his dream. Shoma is a super great skater, and after he retires, he’s fine with Shoma being the one who replace him on the podium with the Japan flag on his back.
Anyways, Yuzuru is glad Shoma is his close friend, even though he has never imagined it before.
You can hear it in the silence, silence, you
You can feel it on the way home, way home, you
You can see it with the lights out, lights out,
You are in love, true love
Yuzuru Hanyu has never thought he would fall in love with Shoma Uno. Yuzuru is so comfortable with their relationship as rivals but also close friends; he didn’t realize he was falling hard, so hard. Not until Javier grinned at him every time he started talking about Shoma, or when Brian shared a knowing look with Tracy every time he checked his phone and found a message from Shoma.
And suddenly, all the damn love songs are about Shoma. Suddenly, his face popped up when Yuzuru was about to fall asleep, and Yuzuru had dreams about his eyes and his breathy laugh. Suddenly, Yuzuru thought about Shoma during his practice and how much he’s looking forward to seeing him in competitions and he nailed all his jumps. Suddenly, Yuzuru got butterflies seeing Shoma’s smile. Suddenly, everything makes sense.
“My dear Yuzu, two times world champion, Olympic champion in figure skating, five times Grand Prix Final champion, you’re so in love with that boy, do you even know that?” Yuzuru remembered Javier told him that one day at practice, and that was what make Yuzuru realized how in love he actually is with his junior.
But Yuzuru didn’t want Shoma to know yet. Of course he would tell him, but the pressure was hard on both of them, and the last thing he wanted to do is adding more pressure on Shoma by telling him that his senior is in love with him. So he kept those feelings to himself, despite how hard it was. God knows how hard it was trying to suppress all those feelings, how hard it was trying to hold back not to kiss Shoma senseless, how hard it was wanting to keep Shoma to himself but he couldn’t.
Falling in love always sucks. Yuzuru hates it. But falling in love with Shoma is beautiful. Pain, yes, but beautiful. And also fun. For once, instead of falling, Yuzuru felt like he’s flying instead. Being in love with Shoma felt like flying across the sky, soaring, God, it’s like Yuzuru could face the sun.
The Olympic season is so hard, so full of pressure, but somehow Yuzuru found strength in Shoma’s text messages and their daily FaceTime. It all passed in a blur. His fifth Grand Prix Final title, another silver at Four Continents, another National Title (he’s not sorry) and the most important one … his second Olympic gold.
Weirdly enough, he’s happier about Shoma taking silver than him being two times Olympic champion. They were doing the married tradition pose on the Pyeongchang podium. The last time in Four Continents Nathan got in their way but they did it here. During the Olympics. Javi finally got the medal he has always deserved, but Yuzuru was so happy for Shoma.
They’ve made Japan proud. At least they hoped they did.
That night, after endless interviews and other stuff they had to do, Yuzuru has made his mind. He’s going to tell Shoma tonight.
The night was cold when Yuzuru’s standing in Shoma’s balcony, two cups of tea on the table. They both have taken a bath and Shoma is probably just thinking Yuzuru just need some chill quality time with him or something.
Yuzuru is trying to be brave. He’s the Olympic champion. He skated brave today; he answered all those interviews bravely today. He’s brave. He’s brave. But dear god, he’s a weak mean in front of Shoma Uno. When the three words fell of Yuzuru’s mouth, he swore he’s never been more afraid of anything else in his life. He’s afraid of Shoma’s reaction, of his eyes, of what he’s going to say after this. But when Shoma smiled, all the fears are gone.
“Thank you, Yuzu-kun.” Shoma paused. “I love you too.”
Yuzuru had never felt more relieved in his whole life.
Should this be the last thing I see
I want you to know it's enough for me
'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need
I'm so in love, so in love
Yuzuru Hanyu had never thought he would date Shoma Uno. After the confession, things were too hectic for them to talk about things and they’re too tired because when they got back to Japan the Olympics gold and silver medalists have no time to sleep at all. They have to prepare for World Championship too, after all. But when they did and settled things, Yuzuru is the happiest man on earth.
Honestly, though, when isn’t Yuzuru happy when it comes to Shoma?
Their first kiss was slow, unhurried, and unforgettable. Shoma left a taste on Yuzuru’s lips that he would never forget, the kiss that would stay on his lips forever. Yuzuru remembered how the younger skater smiled shyly at him, before Yuzuru pulled him into a massive hug and all he could thought was how much he loved him.
It was secret touching during interviews and shootings and commercials. Secret glances shared at each other and silent giggles during shooting breaks. It was covering everything up with friendly gestures when actually they just want to be with each other all the time. Yuzuru wanted to tell the world that this beautiful man, Shoma Uno, is his but he’d rather not ruin either of their careers because of personal life.
Milan came in a blink. Shoma won his first world title and Yuzuru had to sacrifice his body and soul not to kiss him on the podium. Who cares about getting silver as long as he can stand beside Shoma. He hugged Shoma tight and long enough to whisper “I’m so proud of you”.
Yuzuru did kiss him after all the interviews, though.
They cuddled after the long day, Yuzuru running his hand through Shoma’s hair, whispering sweet things about how he did so well that day, how he was so proud of him. Shoma has his arms around Yuzuru’s body, and Yuzuru would sacrifice his Olympics gold medal just to have this for the rest of his life. When Shoma’s eyelids fluttered shut little by little, Yuzuru planted a kiss on his temple, sending him to sleep before whispered,
“You’re so beautiful.”
Shoma can be so distracting. Sometimes in gala practice, Yuzuru just want to stare at Shoma and his beauty all day because god damn it he’s so perfect. Yuzuru’s starting to wonder if Shoma is actually an angel in the shape of a very beautiful man and used the name Shoma Uno. At times, Yuzuru couldn’t help but putting his arm around Shoma’s waist just to pull him closer and felt his body warmth against his. Or tried to crack a joke but failed miserably, but Shoma always laughs at his joke, no matter how awful it is, so that’s one advantage.
Yuzuru is perfectly aware that he’s in love with Shoma Uno, but being his lover, being his significant other made him fall even deeper. He just fell in love over and over again every day. He felt love over and over again at every kisses, every smile, every laugh, every touches.
Being Shoma’s lover was never a part of Yuzuru’s plan in his life, but he doesn’t have regrets.
One more taste of your lips just to bring me back
To the places we've been and the nights we've had
Because if this is it then at least we could end it right
Yuzuru Hanyu never thought he would become Shoma Uno’s ex lover. Here’s the thing, he would never thought it would end. He would never think Shoma looking at him in the eyes asking him to end them. He has always thought they’re okay, they’re fine, so in love. But he should have known Shoma has other plans.
Yuzuru finished his competitive career with a perfect skate in Saitama, earning his last World Championships gold where he landed the first ever quadruple axel in a competition. Announcing his official retirement from competitive figure skating at the Gala Finale, and that night, Shoma came to his room, asking him to end the relationship.
“I’m sorry, Yuzu-kun.” He breathed out. “I love you, I do, but I’m sorry. I can’t.”
Yuzuru felt his world crumbled into pieces. It was like being destroyed from all kind of directions from all around. It hurts more than falling on a quadruple axel. Fuck. The pain is stabbing him like his blades, this is too much. He didn’t even dare looking away from Shoma’s eyes, even though those eyes are so distant, so far away. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want this.
What happened to forever?
He felt tears running down his eyes, and he hasn’t even said anything. So he pulled Shoma in softly, the skater had such a sad look on his face which Yuzuru hates—god, he hates it so much. “May I? For the last time?”
Shoma closed his eyes and kissed Yuzuru slowly. God, he didn’t even want it to end.
“Thank you for everything.” He left.
Yuzuru broke down.
Cause baby you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too
And until then I'll smile to hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you
Shoma continued winning medals, and to avoid suspicions, they kept in touch and be good friends, even though it’s never the same again. Shoma continued and continued being the golden boy of Japan, continuing Yuzuru’s legacy. Meanwhile Yuzuru is busy in coaching and ice shows and sponsors and TV shows, they barely met but today, Yuzuru is the commentator for the men’s short program.
Shoma is on the ice.
Yuzuru watched as he glided on the ice, determination on his eyes. The man he hadn’t stopped loving since years ago. The man he would always love with all his heart for the rest of his life. The man who left him, yet he’s still happy because he’s been focusing more on his career and making Japan proud.
If they’re meant to be, they’re meant to be.
“Next, everyone, is our favorite and the 2022 Olympic Champion, Shoma Uno!”
Next, everyone, is my favorite and the love of my life, Shoma Uno.
Yuzuru Hanyu had never thought Shoma Uno would be a big part in his life, but he’s glad he did.