Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Josh was some kid who just ran a tumblr account. Though he was mentally ill, he still tried. He was kinda different from everyone else. Josh had a nose ring and a lip ring, he carried cameras into the forest and obsessed over things called 'cryptids'. He was just 20, so he wasn't all that old. His favourite blog was one simply titled 'ohios-finest-poet'. The poetry fascinated Josh, and one day, he decided to message the sad person on the other side.

galaxyboy-conspiracies: hello! my name is josh and i just wanted to say that i love your poetry, and i think you are ohios finest poet.

ohios-finest-poet: thank you! its lovely to have people like you around.

galaxyboy-conspiracies: oh my god you actually replied! youre welcome , hi

ohios-finest-poet: hello there!

galaxyboy-conspiracies: so how are you??

ohios-finest-poet: good, you?

galaxyboy-conspiracies: lowkey having a breakdown but its eh

Josh noticed the blog replied immediately.

ohios-finest-poet: you okay??

galaxyboy-conspiracies: yeah!! its normal im cool. i didint catch your name btw!!

ohios-finest-poet: tyler! 4 in 4 out breathe <3

galaxyboy-conspiracies: thanks aah, tylers a cool name. funnily enough i live in ohio

ohios-finest-poet: i think itd be cool to go out for a coffee, im just in columbus!

Josh tapped his toes on the mattress, grinning at the bright screen. It was a bit of an eye strain in the darkness. His boyfriend would probably pop out of nowhere in the day and check his phone.

galaxyboy-conspiracies: no way!! i live in columbus too!! starbucks on high street?

ohios-finest-poet: definitely. 3:00?

galaxyboy-conspiracies: uhh,, ill set an alarm? whats the number before that i forgot

ohios-finest-poet: psh, its 2:00.

galaxyboy-conspiracies: sorry! i have trouble with numbers :(

ohios-finest-poet: its cool dude! tomorrow at 3:00. its late, go to bed. im going to bed.

galaxyboy-conspiracies: okay, goodnight!!

Josh didn't sleep that night, humming as he grabbed his camera and left his room. It didn't have a door so sneaking wasn't a problem. He threw on his jacket but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Josh," the voice said, turning him around, "Where are you going?"

"U-uh, I-I-I-I-I'm just going to take p-pictures of animals, Nick. They're interesting."

"Are you cheating on me? You better not be or I swear to god-"

"I'm not! I-I pr-promise I'm heading into the forest for pictures."

"If I catch you cheating, you're going to fucking regret it. I swear to god," Nick hissed as Josh left, slamming the door behind him. Josh hopped on his bike, biking to the nearby forest. Truth is, he wasn't photographing animals. Normal ones, anyway. Josh loved to go on cryptid hunts, looking for mysterious beings and such. It was his favourite pastime. Nick didn't really approve and he'd blown up at Josh a few times because of it but he didn't care at all. The cool air ran behind him as he parked his bike behind the old willow tree. He put it there because he remembered it and it was hidden from being stolen.

Josh stepped over the twigs and brush, holding his camera with a grin. He loved being out here, it was so free, so uplifting. He didn't have the money for super professional equipment, but a camera was enough. He'd seen a few Sasquatch and even Mothman at one point, but never could snap a picture in time. Either way, he loved it. It was a way to get away. He had only caught two pictures, though. One was of a bright light when he had caught an alien on camera, and the other was of what looked exactly like a sea monster. He couldn't remember which one, but they meant everything to him.

"Thank you friends, you give me an escape," he called out to an empty (?) forest, hoping someone would hear it as he continued to walk.

Chapter Text

galaxyboy-conspiracies: its 2 right now?? uh, 2 30. right

ohios-finest-poet: yep! you should start getting ready.

Josh threw on his favourite sweater, the light gray one with various different cryptid patches he sewed on, and started to head out the door.

"Where the fuck are you going?" he heard Nick yell as Josh started to leave, and he turned around.

"S-starb-ucks, H-high stre-et."

"When are you gonna be back?"

"S-six?"

"That's too long, you selfish piece of shit," he spat, slapping Josh.

"S-So-rry, f-fou-r?"

"Better, text me every five minutes or else, I swear to fuck. Now get out you bitch."

Josh walked out of the house, rubbing the fading red handprint on his face.

Nick wasn't bad, honestly. He told Josh all the true things about him, how he was stupid and selfish and so were his interests. Josh bought him tons of things so he wouldn't be selfish. He didn't deserve his own money anyways.

Nick was good to him, he was so sweet. He got Josh clothes, he got Josh food, and he gave him love. I mean, he did hurt Josh sometimes but someone needed to put him in place. He's so stupid. Josh yelped as he tripped over a rock, scraping his knee on the sidewalk. He huffed as he stood up, continuing to walk as blood ran down his knee.

He sighed to himself, walking into the Starbucks. He sat in a corner table, texting Nick quickly.

Joshua: i just got to the starbucks sorry

Nick <3: You better send me pictures of your table, if you talk to anyone who I haven't approved I will kill you.

Josh swallowed, hands trembling.

ohios-finest-poet: if you see me im wearing a kimono with flowers heckin pretty!

galaxyboy-conspiracies: :00000 pretty

ohios-finest-poet: damn right

He twiddled his thumbs, snapping a photo of the vacant table and sending it to Nick. He glanced up and saw a feminine boy in some floral thing. That was probably Tyler. Josh waved his hand a little and watched him skip over, a grin on his face.

"Hi! 'm Tyler," he chirped, holding out his hand. Josh took it awkwardly, shaking it before letting his arm drop onto the table.

"J-josh," he stuttered, grabbing his phone quickly.

"Boo, no phones on the first date!" he joked, but Josh was too fixated on sending this message.

Joshua: i met a friend can you approve him?

Nick <3: What the fuck? I told you not to talk to anyone you piece of shit. Send me a fucking picture now. Don't expect yourself to be let off.

Josh gulped.

"T-yler I-i-i'm gonna n-need to sna-ap a pic-cture," Josh glanced up, tense. Tyler raised an eyebrow but nodded, posing with his hands under his chin. He sent the picture to Nick quickly.

Nick <3: Tell me about him now.

Joshua: his name is tyler i dont know his last name hes 20 and hes a boy 

Nick <3: Where does he live? What does he like?

Joshua: i don't knnow yet sorryy

Nick <3: You better fucking find out or I'll keep you locked up in my closet again. For a day.

Josh visibly tensed, Tyler glancing up.

"You okay?" a nod.

Joshua: nno anythign byt that

Nick <3: Then find out, selfish little brat.

Chapter Text

"S-so Tyler? Ca-ca-can you tell me about y-you?" Josh asked, playing with his sleeves. Tyler grinned softly, nodding.

"I'm twenty. I live just a block away and I like to write poetry, play music and work out."

Josh quickly typed this out to Nick, waiting for Tyler to continue. 

"I can play a lot of instruments, but I'm good at the piano," Tyler giggled lightly, "I'm weird."

"Th-thank-ks," Josh sent the message, shaking.

Nick <3: I'll have to meet him. Get home right fucking now.

Joshua: yes

"U-uh T-ty I-i-i gotta go s-sorr-y," he stuttered, "C-can y-you com-me?" he glanced up, Tyler nodding and getting up. Josh followed him quickly, the two going home.

Nick was good to Josh. He'd known him since they were both 15. Nick would always take Josh to parties and in return-n-

Josh cut off his thinking, memory patchy and staticky. He didn't realize he was frozen until a hand gently tugged on his arm. Everything snapped and Josh squeezed it tight, pulling the arm connected to the hand over and sobbing. His chest heaved as he was pulled into a hug, babbling out pure nonsense and twisting and playing with the persons shirt.

"Breathe, it'll be okay. You'll be okay. You're beautiful," the voice was clearer as the static faded, "Y-you back?" Josh nodded slowly. "Nonverbal?" another nod.

Josh didn't realize where they were until he looked around. They were on their street and he felt his phone buzzing. Josh jumped and another wave of panic engulfed him. He pulled out his phone and looked at the contact number calling him. It was listened 'Nick <3' and Josh nearly fainted.

"H-ell-lo?" he asked as he answered, voice wrecked.

"God, I can't fucking believe you! You're five minutes late! I'm going to get over there and strangle you!" Nick screamed, "I swear to god, get your sorry little ass back here or else!"

"I-i brou-brought T-ty-ler."

"Whoop dee fuckin do! I didn't need to fucking know!" and then he hung up.

Josh shot to his feet, running to his house with a whimper. He didn't know if Tyler followed as he walked in, but he was sure he did because the footsteps weren't just anybody. Nick marched up to the two.

"Hey. I'm Nick." He wrapped an arm roughly around Josh, "Josh's boyfriend," he dragged it out, as if to tease him. Tyler looked at the two, holding out his hand anyways. 

"I'm Tyler!" he had that same happy attitude, grinning. Though his smile faltered a little as Nick ignored his hand, signaling for him to come in. 

"Sit on the couch, wait there." Tyler obliged, sitting down on the couch. The other could only follow Nick as he almost tugged him up the stairs and into his room.

"No, n-no I'l-l b-b-be g-goo-od," Josh pleaded, but to no avail. He was pushed into the closet, engulfed in darkness as a latch clicked shut.

Now, it wouldn't be bad if the closet didn't have spilt tacks and nails inside. Match that up with darkness and you have an accident waiting to happen.

Josh didn't hear anything as he wheezed and sobbed, he wasn't even sure if Tyler left.

Chapter Text

"Get up. Now." Josh shot up, meeting eyes with a scowling Nick. He rubbed his scabbed and pricked arms, dried tear tracks on his face. "Get up. I'll approve Tyler."

A wave of relief rushed over Josh, wiping away the crust that had formed on his cheeks. The poor boy stood up on shaky legs, stepping out of the closet.

"I-i'm s-so sorr-y. D-do you-you want to- want to go o-out to e-eat?" Josh offered, trembling all over. Nick nodded, crossing his arms.

"Get ready. You have an hour. Any longer and you'll regret it."

Josh quickly ran out of the room, walking into the bathroom. He quickly stripped down, turning it on and stepping in. The practically scalding water ran down his skin, burning his hair and face. He didn't care, it would sting more if it was cold. Josh picked at the scabs littering his arms, watching the tiny spots of blood get quickly washed away by the fiery water. He rubbed soap into his hair, the fire quickly engulfing it and pulling it into the drain with everything else. Josh would always stand facing the showerhead and taps, feet never touching the drain so he wouldn't feel any hair or stuff in the firey drain. Josh sighed as he turned it off after a short while, climbing out and wrapping a towel around himself tightly.

"O-oh g-gosh-h," he mumbled to himself, holding back the urge to collapse to the ground and sob as his memory floodgate reopened. He tightened the towel around his body, rushing out of the bathroom and into his room. Right, no door. He sobbed quietly and collapsed onto his bed, curling up. Josh jumped as he felt something hit him. Clothes. Oh good, Nick picked his clothes. He didn't want to go out looking like a fucking idiot. He sat up slowly, unfolding them. It was his plain black tee and the only pair of plain track pants he had. Great. He put them on anyway, wiping away tears.

Nick was great. He made sure Josh didn't do anything bad, he made sure Josh wasn't stupid, he made sure he was perfect so people would like him and not hate him. Without Nick, Josh would be a fucking laughingstock. He told him to not buy patches for his sweater because it's stupid enough. He told him not to get more band merch or cryptid clothing because that's so fucking stupid. Josh would be nowhere without Nick.

Josh threw on his favourite sweater, grabbing his wallet.

"We're going to Refactory Restaurant and Bistro," said Nick, snatching Josh's wallet from his hands. Josh hardly reacted, it was okay. Refactory was expensive as shit but it was o k a y. Josh was o k a y. He noticed Nick didn't even react as he crumpled to the floor in another panic attack. What had triggered it?

Everything. 

Chapter Text

Josh swung on the swing quietly, waiting for Tyler.

He hasn't had a panic attack in two days, the only reason he has so many is because he has had no support with what had happened. He doesn't like to think about it.

Back on the topic of Nick, he was okay. Nick always took him out for dinner and hung out with his friends and made sure the people he was with weren't bad. He locked Josh in the house sometimes because he didn't want him to leave him. Josh is clingy too so it's ok.

Josh snapped back into reality as Tyler called his name, skipping up to him.

"Hi!" he chirped, cheerfully hugging Josh and earning a yelp.

Josh awkwardly hugged back, letting himself be lifted off the swing and carried to the grass where he was sat down.

"How are 'ya?" said Tyler, sitting across from him. Josh shrugged, looking down. "Why so down?"

"Tired, mostly," he huffed, picking the grass.

"Are you okay?"

"I guess."

Tyler held his hand, grinning softly.

"You can talk to me about it."

Josh inhaled, starting explain everything. He just met Tyler but he had no filter, everything spilt out of his mouth. The poor boy was shaking and sobbing by the end, wrapped tightly in Tyler's arms.

"Hey hey, shh, it's okay. It'll be okay. Breathe," Tyler cooed, playing with Josh's hair and rocking him. Josh squeezed Tyler's hand tightly and wheezed, pressed close against him. "Breathe with me. One, two, three, four," he mumbled, Josh following his steps shakily as he slowly calmed down.

"S-sorr-y," he said quietly, still and quiet.

"It's fine, Josh. I don't mind."

Josh rested in his arms, soon getting distracted and playing with Tyler's fingers, eyes wide.

"B-boop, boop, boo-op," he giggled, poking each one. Tyler chuckled, not minding at all. Josh lifted them and let them fall, almost like a child in his silly wonder. Tyler grinned as they gently hit his thigh, watching the other man. Josh retracted his hand after thirty seconds, looking anxious and guilty.

"S-sorry," he mumbled, rolling off of Tyler and standing up, "I-i-i-i didn't m-mean to-o."

Tyler sighed, standing up too and hugging Josh.

"It's fine, J. I don't mind." He grinned, pulling away after a second. Josh played with his hoodie strings, starting to walk off. Tyler followed him in his directionless embark. "What do you like? I wanna talk about stuff and not walk in awkwardness."

"O-oh, I lik-ke playing the drums at-t my rec-record store, I-i can also-also play the gui-guitar b-but I'm-I'm not al-allowed to play th-the drums a-at home be-because N-nick doesn't like-like the noise so I-i pla-ay the guit-tar to ke-keep my ha-hands and b-brain bus-sy," he rambled, not stopping his thought to word process, "I-i so-sometim-mes play guitar in-in the for-est to play i-it for cryptid-ds. Ooh!" he grinned widely, bouncing a little, "I like cr-cryptids, they're so so so fascinating and som-sometimes I go ou-out hunting! I do i-it whenever I can and it-s super super in-interesting. I ha-have a few pictures I-i took when-when-when I visited new places an-and they me-mean so m-much to-to me!"

Tyler just listened with a grin, watching Josh clap his hands a little as he started to bounce on his toes. Josh continued talking about types of cryptids and stuff he'd found, and Tyler listened intently. He noticed Josh tugged his hair sometimes, cracked his fingers, did a lot of dramatic gestures, flapped his hands, and a lot of different fidgets. It was adorable, Josh was adorable. He faded off at the end, looking at the ground.

"I-i gotta g-go home, I-i think-k. S-sorry I-i forg-ot," he said, stopping his little trek. Tyler nodded, smiling softly.

"Okay! It's okay. You can ramble to me whenever you want, I love to hear you talk," he said, hugging Josh again. Josh cracked a smile, hugging back loosely before breaking away. He started to walk off, waving goodbye.

Chapter Text

Josh sat silently in their living room, Nick's arm wrapped firmly around him. He smelt strongly of alcohol, just like the glass he was holding. He had his friends over, the same friends that hurt Josh. He wanted to leave, but Nick wouldn't let go.

"So hows your stupid boyfriend?" one of them slurred, grinning as they waved the beer bottle.

"He's doing great, perfect for sucking dick," Nick replied, cackling. Josh never did anything sexual with Nick. He would never after what his friends did.

"C-can I g-go?" Josh whimpered, earning a scoff from Nick.

"Fine, whatever. Go you piece of shit," he spat, pushing Josh away. Josh took this opportunity and scrambled away, tears starting to make their way down his face. He ran into his room, curling up in his bed and grabbing his phone.

galaxyboy-conspiracies: hey ty i know its late but are you teher?? i need someone to talk to me

It took about three minutes for Tyler to respond.

ohios-finest-poet: yeah! m right here, whats up?

galaxyboy-conspiracies: nick brought his friends over and theyre all really really drunk and i dont feel safe

ohios-finest-poet: okay, do you want me to stop by and pick you up?

galaxyboy-conspiracies: uh i guess, youll have to drag me out and tell nick though. hold me hes going to fight hes going to hurt

ohios-finest-poet: i will. ill be there asap!

Josh stood up, throwing on some alien sweater and walking silently to the door. He waited until he heard a knock (which made him jump), opening it as Nick started to storm over.

"Where the hell are 'ya going? What's Tyler doing here?" Nick spat, watching as Tyler tightly grabbed Josh's arm.

"I'm gonna take Josh out for a bit. You're really drunk and it's not safe for him."

"You have no fuckin' right to tell me what I get to do! Josh is my boyfriend!" Nick screamed, getting ready to punch Tyler. Tyler inhaled sharply, tugging Josh over and shutting the door.

"Sorry, J. I got you," he said, tugging him away from the door. He wasn't sure what Nick did but he didn't care, Josh walking lightly alongside him, "Where do 'ya wanna go?"

"U-uh, can w-we go to like... Starbucks or somethin-ng? I'm cr-craving something sweet."

Tyler nodded softly and grinned, holding his hand tightly as they started to walk.

Chapter Text

He sipped his tea quietly, Nick was out. Probably cheating. He didn't know.

Josh had Tyler on speaker, but there wasn't much to hear. Tyler fell asleep. It was still comforting.

He was going through Tumblr on his phone, and had set up a curtain for a door a couple hours or so ago.

Nick didn't seem like he was going to come back at this point.

"H-hey, Tyler?"

He could hear the boy shift and mumble out a 'what?'.

"Can you c-come over?" he asked, praying Nick wouldn't come back before Tyler arrived.

"I mean, sure?" Tyler had a groggy voice, "Give me an hour."

"N-no please now."

"What's wrong?"

"Please."

Tyler hung up, and was at the door in minutes. He was still in his pajamas, still had bed head. Josh didn't care. He looked the same.

"Can we go to my room?" he said, Tyler nodding and giving a small grin. They walked upstairs, Tyler seemingly frowning at his door.

"Where is your door?" he questioned, Josh ignoring it (didn't hear it) and walked inside. The room was small, fit a small little twin bed, it had posters of monsters and tackboards filled with different pictures. The taller boy loved it. There were sweaters and clothes strewn on the ground, Tyler made sure not to step on them. His room was so unique and lovely, it smelt of apple incense.

"Do you like it?" the purple haired boy asked, the other grinning and nodding quickly.

"Yeah!"

They both sat down on Josh's bed, close together. This felt like more than he and Nick had. This felt perfect. There wasn't any yelling, no accusing voice to tell him to 'piss off and clean your room'. Josh was grinning like an idiot. Tyler was too. It felt perfect.

He felt a warm hand cup his cheek and turn his head as he snapped back from thought, a thumb brushing over his freckles.

"Y'know, I never realized you had that many freckles. I knew you had some, but you have more!" Tyler was giggling, bumping their foreheads together. Josh reached out, playing with Tyler's hair like a child. Tyler yelped as he tugged a bit too hard, Josh quickly apologizing and moving away.

"Hey, it's okay! It just startled me," Tyler tried to reassure, Josh turning away and hugging himself. The smaller boy continued to repeat 'I'm sorry', over and over, curling up and sniffling. Tyler snuggled up beside him again, hugging him close as Josh broke into sobs. It hurt to see him this way.

Who hurt this galaxy boy so bad? He thinks it's Nick.

He quickly connected everything. No door, fear of him, fear of being late, hatred of himself, more and more.

Oh god, poor Josh.

Tyler squeezed the little boy close, making sure his shaking frame was warm and loved.

"Josh, is Nick... abusive?" The dreaded question. Josh felt his entire body tense up, going still, albeit still shaking. Josh couldn't breathe, he couldn't think, he couldn't respond.

Tyler rocked him slowly, "It's okay if he is. I won't tell, I'll keep you safe." Josh knew those words were lies. Nick said he'd keep him safe, he did, Josh is so fucking ungrateful. He wanted to throw up. "Josh, Josh, it's okay to be scared, just breathe, okay? I'll get you out of here soon enough."

Josh wishes he could believe that.

Chapter Text

Josh quietly patched up his arm, blood splattered on the floor and the sink.

Nick would strangle him if he got home and saw the blood. Not even kidding.

He didnt want to even think of what Nick would do to him if he found him like this, cuts running up every inch of his skin on his left arm specifically. Josh's breathing came in short, desperate gasps. Everything was wrong, everything was falling apart, nothing was ever going to be okay again because Nick held him close and never let go and he was stuck, he was stuck and he would never fucking get out. 

This was his punishment for being so damn fucking naive to everything around him, for being so peacefully oblivious and letting someone like this take over his life. It was his fault he was rooted in this place and he had to face the bull head on.

But maybe Tyler was the light of his life right now. Maybe the man could make him feel more than pain and regret for once, could make him feel something more than the porcelain happiness that came with loving Nick.

He held the end of the bandage with his teeth as he wrapped it around his wrist, dabbing up blood with a wet rag and covering all the evidence. He grabbed paint for good measure, something old lying on his shelves from when he'd tried art, and smeared it all over his arm. It was the colour of his skin, and it was a proper substitute until he could heal enough to remove them. Of course, it was still painfully obvious there were bandages there, a quick peep under his sweater sleeve would be shrugged off. 

Josh grabbed his phone after he was finished, slumping onto his bed weakly and tossing the blades in between his mattress and his box-spring. Calling Tyler was probably the best idea now.

Soon enough, he picked up.

"Hello?" He answered, voice as smooth as honey.

"T-tyler! I-i'm, I miss you," was all he could manage. Tyler snickered behind the phone, but never hung up.

"Would you like to come over?"

"Yes, pl-please, god." 

"You should stay, forever. Drop Nick. He's... he's really bad for you."

"N-nick loves me, Tyler. I'll be there in an hour."

Josh hung up.