Chapter Text
When he exited the bathroom, he found Eri with the keys to Banjul in one hand and his jacket in the other. He furrowed his brow.
“I was hoping…I'm so worried about Zion and the harp. Can't we go back and see if there's anything we can find she said. He forced his placid smile, knowing it would fool her into trusting him.
“Let me just get dressed. Before that, I want you to to have a cup of tea first to keep you warm,” he said. She smiled at him, but that smile meant nothing to him now. Why was she so worried about Zion? Was she in love with him? What had he done or said to make him mean so much to her? It was bad enough Yuri was there and ready to pounce on her at any second, somehow Zion forced his way in without Tei seeing it. That wasn't fair. How could he keep her in his sights? How could he make her his?
Destroy her.
No. He could not hurt her the way he wanted. It would drive her away. How could he make her forget about Zion, the harp , this whole thing?
The diary. He had a plan.
He gave her the drugged tea, stronger than usual. She accepted it gratefully and he took that to mean she accepted her new fate. A few sips and she was out cold. He carried her to bed, tucked her in. He was about to kiss her but stopped. He could not mar those perfect lips with his own.
“I can't lose you. You must stay with me. I need you. Even in this human form I am not my own. You are my owner. And you will not leave me,” he said. He was about to make sure of it. He went to the desk and tore out page after page of her diary, until the only remaining pages were blank.
Tei got dressed for school as usual. He anticipated Eri being very weak after all her memories being erased. Yeonho woke next.
“Can I help, Tei?” he asked.
“Go wake Eri please,” Tei said.
Yeonho's face brightened. “I'm so lucky!”
Tei smiled placidly, but was screaming on the inside. Had he accidentally hurt her? He'd find out soon. He had to make everything look like a normal day. Like he'd done nothing wrong. Lance came in next, sat quietly. Tei gave him a cup of t ea. Red sat down and Lance was about to give his morning quip, when Yeonho walked in white faced and trembling.
“Master…she...” he began. Lance and Red stood up and Tei dropped almost dropped his cup.
“What's wrong, Yellow?” Red asked. Tei marched past hem into her room. Eri was sobbing uncontrollably, her hands covering her face.
“Eri are you okay?” he asked.
“Where am I? Who are you? My…oh...” she said. Her voice was lost in painful groans. He put his hand on her head. She had a fever.
“Get me a thermometer,” Tei said. Lance nodded and hurried off. “Red, she needs a cool cloth, get me one.”
Red saluted and did as asked. “Yeonho get Yu ri and tell him E ri is sick and needs fever suppressants. ”
“Yes!” Yeonho said. Tei held her wrists.
“Please try to calm down,” he said.
“I can't...” she said. Her voice was squeaky and painful. He almost regretted doing this to her.
“Can you sit up?” he asked. She used him as support but ended up leaning forward, clutching his arms.
“My head hurts,” she said. Red returned with a cool rag.
“Is Heroine okay?” he asked.
“Lower your voice,” Tei said. He wiped her face. She was flushed and she kept squeezing her eyes shut. “Draw the curtains. The light is too bright.”
Red did so and came right back to her. She composed herself enough after Tei wiped her face and neck. Lance returned with the thermometer.
“It was hard to find,” Lance said.
“It's fine,” Tei said as he took it. He put it under her arm. They all were quiet and tense. Eri stopped sobbing but he felt her clutch his shirt.
“Who are you guys?” she said.
After they were certain her fever was not dangerous, Tei convinced everyone to go to school. Eri fell asleep shortly after everyone left, leaving Tei time to clean the hou s e and plan. He would quit school. I f they were at school they'd be apart and he couldn't have that. N o , he'd have Hobin hire her at Banjul and they'd be together all the time. No need to worry about Zion, she didn't even remember him. Now he could k eep a close eye on how she dealt with Zion. There wasn't much he could do about Yuri, but he still had to keep an eye on him. The other boys were fine, they posed no threat.
H e knocked on her door to see if she was awake.
“Come in,” she said. He opened the door. She was sitting on her bed in the darkened room. Four dolls were laid carefully on the bed but one was cradled in her lap. She absently ran her finger down his face. He knelt beside her.
“This is you,” she said.
H e want e d to lie but he couldn't .
“Yes,” he said.
“Your knee…did I do that to you?” she asked. She was near tears. He steadied her trembling hands.
“You would never,” he said.
“Then…who did it? Why would they hurt you?” she asked. A tear slid down her cheek. He held her face and dried her tears.
“It was a long time ago. I'm with you now. I don't think about it, so you shouldn't either,” he said.
“I don't remember a lot of things. It's all a blur. You're Tei, right?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said. She hugged his doll body with one arm. She pointed to each one.
“This one is Lance,” she said. “Red. Yuri. Yeonho. He's the youngest,” she said. “Did I...did I hurt his feelings?”
“Don't worry. Just call him by name when he gets home,” Tei said. She nodded. “Are you hungry?”
“A little,” she said.
“Come to the kitchen. I'll make you something,” he said.
She slowly put each foot on the floor. She tried to stand , but her legs wer e so shaky. Tei picked her up just for his own sanity . She rested her head on his shoulder.
“Rest while I cook for you,” he said as he set her on the couch. He gave her pillows and a blanket.
“Tei? I want you,” she said. He spun around when she said that.
“Beg your pardon?” he said.
“I want the doll you. Please?” she said. He sighed in relief.
“Of course,” he said. He retrieved his old body from the room and brought it to her. She held him gently and Tei swore he could feel her embrace.
“I'll be careful,” she said meekly. “You're already injured.”
H e wanted to tell her she could roll over and crush him and he'd still cou n t it as a blessing. She had his doll body resting on her chest and he imagined he could feel h e r warmth, her heartbeat against his back. His own heart was about to break. H e didn't deserve all of this. H e loved her, he loved her so much and it was going to kill him . She consumed his thoughts and he needed her like he needed to breathe. H e made her the b est lunch he knew how to make. H e woke her and thought he'd die when she smiled at seeing his face. Her smile was s till the same.
“Food is ready,” he said. She nodded and sat up slowly. He watched her every move, the way she methodically set his doll body aside, making sure he was against the pillows. She turned red.
“I'm not moving right. It's embarrassing,” she said. He shook his head.
“You're perfect,” he said as he helped her to stand. She took a few shaky steps before he picked her up again. When he put her in a chair he she grabbed his sleeve.
“You carry me like a princess. I think that's how I feel when I'm with you,” she said. “I'm not a real princess though...”
“But you are sick,” he said. He couldn't tell her she was his princess, his queen, his god, his sun, his sky. He could give her everything, his life and it would still not be enough. She was pale but the sight of the food seemed to animate her features a bit.
“You've done this for me before. It's in my head. It wasn't just you and me. Were the other boys there?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said. She hummed a bit and took a bite of the food.
“It's nice when it's just you and me,” she said.
All he could do was smile.
As she slept that evening , Tei called the boys to a meeting. He could see the ten s ion and anxiety on their faces. Though E ri was just as warm with them as ever, all her memories of them were gone. It hurt them more than he antic i pated. H e watched their sullen faces. All in different levels of despair.
“What does this mean? How did this happen?” Lance said. “Was she injured? Should she see a doctor?”
“I spoke with the principal about that. He's explained the situation to Eri's parents, they're sending her to a specialist.”
“They're not coming back are they?” Lance asked.
“They can't. But they agreed that she should stay in familiar surroundings if she's to have any chance of getting her memories back”
“Does she have a chance?” Lance asked. Tei looked down. He didn't know.
“We'll find out when she goes to the doctor,” Tei said.
“Who is going to have the time to take care her?” Lance said. “We all have school. Yuri has work.”
“I'll do it,” Tei said.
“Wait a minute, why you?” Yuri said. “You are student just like them.”
“I'm old enough to quit school. I have a job and I already spoke with the principal about this and he agrees on my points.”
Yuri crossed his arms. “ I'm the adult. I want to take care of her. But...I'm under contract for the whole school year. I guess my hands are tied. I just want t o help her. What can I do?”
It was the fi r st time Tei had seen something genuine in Yuri's em o tion.
“I feel the same,” Red said. “I just want to help her. Tell me what to do, Commander!”
They were all quiet. This...Tei hadn't expected feeling bad over this. Yeonho broke the silence with a sob.
“She doesn't remember me she doesn't remember the first time we met. She doesn't remember when I made her rabbit eggs,” he stopped. He curled up and tried to hide his tears. Tei was about to get up but Red put his arm around Yeonho's shoulders.
“Yellow...crying won't change anything,” Red said.
“But it hurts,” Yeonho said.
“I know...”
The door to Eri's room opened. Yeonho tried to be quiet, but she h e ard him. She entered the living r oom.
“What's going on, why is Yeonho crying?” she asked.
“M-master! It's nothing I'm—”
S he had her arms around him before he could finish.
“I'm sorry,” she said. “I remember bits and pieces but there's a lot I don't remember.”
Yeonho buried his face in her shoulder.
“But I know you're special to me. I know you're all family. I look at you and my heart feels warm. I don't have any many memories now, but I hope we can make new ones.”
Red hugged them both.
“Oh, what the hell,” Yuri said. He joined the group hug. Lance sighted but joined in. Tei hesitated for a moment but joined the group hug. He didn't want them to be even the slightest bit suspicious. He felt a loss he hadn't expected. He'd take it as long as she thought of him first. No one else should come above him. They dispersed to the room their rooms. Eri lingered with Yeonho until he fell asleep. Tei got ready for the night. Yuri was asleep uncharacteristically early. There was a soft knock at the door. Tei opened the door to see Eri, pale, teary eyed and shaking.
“I just want some tea,” she said. “If you're not busy.”
He held her cheek. “I'm never too busy for you.”
“I'm going to my room. I'll wait for you.”
He held her arm as they went down t he hall. She didn't walk into her room right away. She looked over her shoulder almost fearfully.
“I'll by be in a moment,” he said. He walked through the living room. Yeonho was tossing and turning. Tei made ZZZ for her but held back from putting in a sleeping pill. At this point, it seemed like it would be overkill. There were no memories to be stolen. He cherished this scene. Going to her at night with tea, seeing her at her desk, writing down her cherished memories. Tonight was different. He found her curled up in the corner of her bed, his doll cradled in her arms. He set the tea on her bedside table. She curled up tighter and turned away as if shielding the doll from him.
“When you're not around I like to hold him,” she said in a small voice.
“I'm here now,” he said. She nodded and handed the doll over to him.
“Even though he's just a doll, you can tell he's warm and kind. I know why I bought him,” she said. “I guess...I bought you?”
“Yes,” Tei said. She took her tea with both hands.
“Why do you all stay with me?” she asked.
“Because we love you. Because it's like you said, we're family. You are all we have.”
“I see,” she said. “You love me even though I don't remember you, even though everything that made me special to you is gone.”
“It's not gone. You're still yourself,” he said. She stared to shake all over.
“I know I need to sleep but I'm afraid. I went to bed last night and woke up with no memories. I don't want to lose my memories again. I can only move forward but I'm…I don't want everyone to be sad. I don't want Yeonho to cry and I'm sorry but…when you're not around I get anxious. That's why I have to to hold your doll all the time I...”
He shushed her and had her sip m ore tea. She sighed.
“Finish your tea. Please don't be afraid to sleep. I'll be here,” Tei said.
“What if I wake up?” she asked. “What if I don't remember?”
He hugged her.
“Every time you're scared to close your eyes, when you're scared you won't remember, I want to you know that we will love you no matter what. Me especially, you've given me more than I could give back. You taught me I was lovable even when I didn't believe it myself.”
She squeezed him and cried. He wanted this, for her to need him so badly she didn't know what to do with herself. But he didn't like how much obvious pain she was in. He ran his fingers through his hair and she remained curled against his chest until she was a half asleep.
“Wake me in the morning,” she mumbled. “When I see you I feel better.”
“I'll be here,” he said. She fell asleep after that. He held her hand in both of his for a while before he left. He climbed into bed only to notice Yuri was awake. He was staring at the ceiling, his hands resting on his stomach.
“How is she?” he asked.
“A little shaken and fragile,” Tei said.
Yuri closed his eyes.
“I feel like I let her down,” he said. “I try not to avoid her because she needs us now more than ever but…I feel so guilty that she's sick I…what could I have done? What can I do?”
At least Tei's hope of keeping Yuri away from Eri was realized. N o blackmail, no threats of bod i ly harm, he was just going to avoid her. But it felt hollow and almost t ragic. Yuri looked dazed and lost.
“You're doing all you can,” Tei said.
Yuri snorted. “Yeah, but you do almost everything. Come on Tei. Let me tak e her shopping. A t least get her hair done.”
Tei couldn't believe he was saying this but…
“Sure. She could stand to go outside,” he said. Yuri's whole body seemed to relax as he sighed.
“It's all I can do. I'm sorry, my owner,” he said. Yuri's sincerity was almost heartbreaking. Almost. Tei still didn't fully trust him. But he'd all but stopped touching her, an odd hug or a pat on the head, but he hadn't gotten flirty with her at all. Even more notable was he hadn't called Eri “my Honey' once since her memory loss. There was a change. Tei wasn't sure it was good, he felt comfortable enough to allow Eri to be alone with Yuri.
He knew her first and last thoughts were of him. There was nothing Yuri could do now.