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The campfire was still roaring. Noctis hadn’t moved from his chair, even as his friends had gone to bed one after the other. Gladio had been the first, leaving behind an empty beer bottle and clapping Noctis against the shoulder before disappearing into the tent. Prompto had hung around a bit longer, talking to Noctis about the old days as Ignis listened, offering only the occasional comment or correction to their faulty memories.
The fire was beginning to die out when Prompto too had succumbed to the call of the tent, giving Noctis an extended hug and a few grateful words before he joined Gladio. At some point during Prompto’s goodnight speech, Ignis had moved away to clean some of their dishes and take care of Gladio’s abandoned beer bottle, and just after Prompto had made his way into the tent, Ignis had bowed his head lightly at Noctis before bidding him goodnight.
At the time, Noctis had done his best not to show the disappointment he felt before recalling that it didn’t really matter what sort of face he made -- although Ignis had had time to adjust to his lack of sight, Noctis hadn’t really accepted it nor had he had the time to fully adjust to it -- but he did manage a ‘goodnight’ in return before he awkwardly moved back to sit down, watching the fire grow smaller and smaller until it was nothing but embers.
It had been hard enough for Noctis to say his goodbyes to his friends that night, though even the little goodbyes as they had each gone to bed had been just as painful, and although Noctis felt drained, he knew that it would be nothing compared to how he would feel when he faced what Insomnia had become -- along with facing the man responsible.
He had no real desire to sleep. There would be enough time for that later.
Just when Noctis had decided to add a log to the embers and reignite the flames, he heard the tent’s zipper slowly come open, and as he stoked the fire, he turned to see Ignis emerging from the tent, his chest tightening at the sight of him as Ignis returned to his seat with what appeared to be some reluctance.
“...thought you were going to bed,” Noctis said as he turned to look back at Ignis, a half-hearted smile tugging at his lips as he set aside the fire iron.
“As did I,” Ignis said as he looked in the direction of Noctis’ voice, his elbows resting on his knees as his gloved hands threaded together. It wasn’t in line with the way Ignis normally maintained his posture, and Noctis recognized the stance as one Ignis had often taken on when he was nervous or overwhelmed. “I...realized that I had left much unsaid.”
“You’re damn right you did,” Noctis said as he moved to sit back next to Ignis. “Even Gladio gave me more than that.”
“Yes, well...I’ve spent years trying to figure out what I would say to you when you returned,” Ignis said, his focus seemingly directed towards the fire. “Despite my best efforts, I hadn’t really nailed down an approach.”
Noctis was silent for a moment as he considered Ignis’ words and uncharacteristically nervous demeanor. “Not like I really had a grand speech for you guys,” he said. “There’s...only so much that can be said, you know?”
“Perhaps...that’s the trouble,” Ignis said as his hands clenched, the leather of his gloves creaking with the effort. “It’s all felt something like a spiral, starting from the day Lady Lunafreya passed until...now.”
“...yeah,” Noctis agreed softly, his throat feeling tight as he saw Luna in his mind’s eye. “It still feels...fresh. Like it just happened.”
“From your explanation of the last ten years, it must feel to you that just weeks ago everything was...much less complicated.” Ignis seemed to consider his words for a moment before he changed tack. “When I thought of you returning...I decided that the only thing I could do for you is minimize your regrets. And mine.”
“And you decided to do that by going to bed early?”
Ignis lowered his head a little, as if Noctis’ words had wounded him. “Is there anything I can really say that would leave us both satisfied with what has to happen?”
“No,” Noctis said as he ran his hand back into his hair in frustration, knotting the dark strands between his fingertips. “An attempt would’ve been nice, though. But I guess you earned some points for coming back out here.”
“Gracious as always, highness,” Ignis sniped before he exhaled sharply. “At any rate...you’re right. What is there left to say?”
“I get that, but-”
“So, I arrived at a conclusion three years ago that I think might suffice,” Ignis said as he looked in Noctis’ direction. “Are you up for a brief hike?”
“A hike?” Noctis repeated in disbelief. “You think that’s a good idea?”
“It’s the best I have,” Ignis said as he stood, his posturing tall and resolute. Noctis swallowed hard as he looked up at Ignis, a pain shooting through his chest as he studied how different the person standing in front of him now was from his childhood friend and advisor. And Ignis surprised him again in that moment as he offered his hand out to him expectantly. “Come along.”
“...how can I say no?” Noctis sighed as he took Ignis’ hand, the warmth and strength of his touch making something ancient and painful stir inside of him. “Lead the way.”
Ignis then began to guide Noctis out of the safety of the campsite, his steps precise and so sure-footed that Noctis realized he must have taken this path many times before. They stopped a few times as Ignis sensed daemons closing in nearby, but each time he gently redirected the both of them so they could avoid danger. Throughout it all, Ignis didn’t let go of Noctis’ hand, his touch firm and protective at first until he seemed to relax, and by the time they reached their destination, their fingers were simply threaded together as if they naturally fit each other.
“Is this it?” Noctis asked as Ignis came to a stop on a steady plateau of stone.
“This should be the place,” Ignis said as he released Noctis’ hand, hesitating briefly as he made his way towards the edge of the plateau. “Sit with me.”
Noctis listened without protest, and he focused on Ignis as they sat side-by-side on the edge of the cliff, the silence palpable after a few moments. “So, why are we here?”
“You read about the soot in Hammerhead, correct?” Ignis asked as he looked in Noctis’ direction. “We’ve tried to study it, but all we know is that it absorbs light and is heavy in the atmosphere at present.” Ignis paused for a moment before continuing. “However...I’ve been lead to believe that this area provides a certain...unique view.”
“Unique view?” Noctis repeated as he looked up at the sky, confusion washing over him as he gazed up into the darkness. He squinted his eyes, turned his head, and even tried to blink a few times in an effort to see what Ignis might be talking about. “I don’t...see…”
Noctis trailed off as, for the briefest of moments, the stars became visible so clearly and suddenly that he almost thought he was just imagining it. But as another moment passed, they appeared again, the soot in the atmosphere acting almost like clouds that temporarily blocked out the light, but the stars returned again and again as they shifted through the atmosphere.
“...I take it that you see them?” Ignis questioned in an effort to break Noctis from the brief spell the sight of the stars had put on him. The memories of sneaking off at night with Ignis as children rushed through Noctis’ mind in that instant, Noctis’ need for freedom and space having been something he had desperately needed, especially as the pressures of his lineage had begun to take shape around Noctis like a snake coiling around its prey.
Understanding instantly washed over Noctis’ features, and he had to look away from both the stars and Ignis in that moment, the weight of Noctis’ fate and the time that had been stolen away from the both of them hitting him like a punch to the gut. Of course Ignis didn’t have the proper words for him back at the campsite. What they felt went beyond that. But showing Noctis this one last piece of their history together was more than just a gesture of friendship. It was his final gesture of friendship, and Ignis had wanted it to be giving Noctis the gift of memories of escaping together and being comforted only by the sky and their mutual companionship.
“Yes,” Noctis said, his tone low and heavy with emotion. “Thank you.”
Ignis nodded slightly to acknowledge Noctis’ gratitude. “...I know that I can’t assist you tomorrow, when the time comes,” Ignis said. “I can’t comfort you. I can’t be by your side. And so...I wanted this to be the last bit of comfort I could give to you.”
Noctis’ heart was pounding as tears started in his eyes, and he wiped them away with the back of his hand as he looked back up at the sky. “...I shouldn’t have been so afraid back then,” he finally said after a few moments. “You were always by my side. When we started to travel, even with Luna on my mind...I felt guilty, because sleeping next to you felt so good. Sometimes, I hoped we would never have to get on that boat.”
“...you and I both,” Ignis said, his voice somewhat distant as the memories of a decade past hit him all at once. “We...never really said what it was, did we?”
“It’s not like we didn’t know,” Noctis said pointedly as he looked over at Ignis, his chest tightening at the sight of his scars. He had gotten so lost in their memories that he had almost forgotten about Ignis’ injuries entirely. “Gladio and Prompto shared a bed too, and they weren’t ever...tangled up like we were.”
“...I suppose that’s one way to put it,” Ignis said with some amusement. “You were engaged, Noct. Promised to someone else. I knew that it couldn’t be any other way, so...I tried to spare us both the heartache that would come with talking about it.”
“Does it feel like we were spared?” Noctis said a little bitterly. “Everything...it’s so damn unfair. I couldn’t save Luna. I couldn’t be there for you when you were hurt. And tomorrow…”
“Noct…”
“What, Iggy? What good did it do, in the end?”
“We’re here,” Ignis said firmly as he reached out, his left hand moving to Noctis’ arm, using it to guide his touch to his hand so that he could thread their fingers together again. “Right now. It doesn’t make up for everything, but...for now, I can still reach you. There were times in the last decade that I would have done anything to have just five more minutes with you.”
Noctis was silent for a few moments after that, his hand squeezing Ignis’ before he broke the contact briefly to remove his glove, setting it aside as he threaded their bare fingers back together. “...and what happens after the sun comes up?” he finally asked as he brushed his thumb along the back of Ignis’ hand.
This time, Ignis was silent, and he turned his head away as he tried not to think too heavily about what that would mean. “When that happens, then I’ll continue on,” Ignis said. “I’ll assist everyone who survived this darkness as I always have. I’ll continue to create new recipes. I’ll be doing everything I can to make your sacrifice worth it.”
“I know it might be hard, but...do you think you could try being happy too, Ig’?”
Ignis let out an amused breath. “If that’s your command,” he said, a hint of teasing in his tone. “It’s been difficult to keep any sort of fire inside of me with you gone. I’m not certain how much I will be able to knowing that...you won’t return this time. But I promise to try.”
“...good,” Noctis said as he squeezed Ignis’ hand warmly, a faint smile tugging at his lips as he leaned over to rest his head against Ignis’ shoulder. “Can’t ask for more than that.”
They huddled close together for a bit longer, but they both knew they couldn’t stay forever. As they returned to the campsite, Ignis held Noctis’ hand just as tightly as he had before. They spend the night together in the tent as they had hundreds of times before, holding each other and sharing each other’s warmth. In the morning, they still had regrets. And as Ignis awoke the next day alone, he was reminded that only he would have to live with them.