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“Okaa-san, when was the last time you saw your Heartache?”
It seemed like a random question at that moment. Yuuri really thought so, too. But in hindsight, it probably had something to do with his own musings. He wouldn’t call it a problem though, it really can’t be a problem.
But having not seen Viktor for over two years was weighing heavily on his mind. Yuuri was close to thirteen now, and in two months he would be starting his first year in highschool. He had hoped that Viktor would be there to be happy with him, but had realized that Heartaches didn’t exactly appear as they or their companions pleased.
His mother, Hiroko, paused from washing the dishes to think on his question. “I’d say it was when your grandmother died. You were barely two that time, so you might not remember her.” She answered, sounding almost wistful. “Toshi had tried for so long, but I was inconsolable. Your grandmother and I were very close, you see, and while I was expecting that she would eventually leave us… well, it doesn’t stop the grief from coming. That’s when she came, popping through the window of the bedroom like she’d always done. It never fails to surprise me.”
Yuuri did the math, tapping his fingers on the table. Vicchan barked from his lap, distracted by the sound of the tapping and attempted to jump onto the table to chase after his fingers. With his free hand, Yuuri used it to keep his precious Vicchan from attempting the dangerous stunt.
So almost ten years. That seems like such a long time to have last seen your Heartache. Then again, his mother was a very optimistic person, like his father and to some extent, his sister Mari. Heartaches don’t really appear when their companion wasn’t experiencing loss or a certain kind of sadness, this his parents had explained to him some time ago.
“Do you remember her name?” Yuuri asked his mother.
“I’m afraid all I can remember is what they look like. It’s been so long.” Hiroko answered, a twinge of sadness finding its way into her tone. “You tend to forget a lot of things as you grow up and responsibilities start to add one after another.”
The young boy looked to his mother before glancing at Vicchan, looking thoughtful. His poodle was growing up fast. Had it really been only four months since he’d gotten him? Vicchan was a very curious puppy, and followed him around like a second shadow. Naming him as such may have been something of a whim, but even Takeshi and Yuuko had teased that he must be missing his Heartache so much to name his new pet after him.
They were probably right, but he’d never readily admit to it.
“Is this about Viktor, Yuu-chan?”
Yuuri snapped to attention, looking towards his mother with a faint flush to his cheeks. “Well, I… I mean… I think yeah…” He trailed off, no use lying to his mother who could sniff out a lie a mile away.
Putting the last of the plates on the rack to dry, his mother patted down her hands on the apron before hanging it. She approached him and sat opposite of him at the table, fixing him with a look he knew all to well.
“Don’t worry about your Heartache, Yuu-chan. While I can’t encourage you look for ways to feel sad, you just need to stay positive that you’ll see him again someday.” She told him. “I’m sure Viktor would want to see you again as well. They always seem to have a lot of things to tell us when we meet again, don’t they? It makes you wonder where they go when they aren’t with us.”
He looked towards the window, listening to the muffled sound of the cicadas chirping and the muted rustle of the wind through the trees. In two months, he will be stepping into a new phase of his life, filled with so many possibilities that he could sit all day thinking about and never be able to get anywhere.
Watch me skate, Yuuri! Viktor’s last words rang clear in his memory. One that he clung onto so very dearly.
As if something had clicked into place in him, Yuuri hadn’t stopped skating after that day. He didn’t know what it was, but there was a burning fire in his heart, set aflame by watching Viktor skate with their eyes on each other. Viktor, gliding effortlessly on the ice, and Yuuri, watching with amazement from behind the rails.
Watching wouldn’t cut it now. Something told him that he couldn’t stop. There was something -someone- waiting for him at the end of this road, he just knew it.
He closed his eyes, opened them again slowly then glanced at his mother.
“Okaa-san?”
“Yes, Yuu-chan?”
“… Thank you.”
Hiroko smiled, leaning cover and squeezed his hand. There was no need for words when the silence spoke for them. Eventually, the plump woman stood up and said, “Now, would you want to help Mari with the customers? It’s summer but we still get people coming and we’re going to need all the hands we can get.”
Yuuri supposed he could. It wasn’t like constant thinking would make Viktor magically appear before him. He gently settled Vicchan onto the floor and padded off to the public side of the resort with his poodle happily trotting after him.