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Lena Luthor is having a nightmare.
It's Christmas and Alex and Kara had brought Maggie and Lena respectively, back to their childhood home to meet Eliza Danvers as The Girlfriends. Family dinner was a delicious, fun, affair that for the first time in Alex’s memory wasn't ruined by Jeremiah’s ghost hovering over his empty seat.
Eliza, Lena, and Kara had gone upstairs to bed after they’d finished viewing It’s a Wonderful Life. Alex and Maggie had volunteered to do the last bits of cleanup. Alex had spent the past half hour dancing around the darkened kitchen in the refrigerator light with a dish towel around her neck, hands on her girlfriend’s hips as they swayed to the beat of silence in a way that was just easy, easy, easy.
Now Alex is stumbling up the stairs behind Maggie and Lena Luthor is having a nightmare. It's not loud, but she can tell from the way the old bed creaks from the twisting and turning Lena is doing, and the short, sharp cries she makes caught in the throes of dream she can't escape.
Kara had made the same sounds every night for months after she'd arrived at the Danvers.
Alex nods for Maggie to continue on to bed with a mouthed, 'be there soon', and ducks into the room Lena and Kara are sharing for the weekend.
Lena Luthor is having a nightmare, and then suddenly, she’s not. Lena jerks awake and just manages to hold in her scream before she identifies the figure leaning over her as Alex. Lena struggles to sit up, grateful that she isn't naked and breathes deeply to get her pounding heart back under control.
“Hey,” Alex says softly. “You were having a nightmare so I figured it’d be best if I woke you.”
Lena nods. “Thanks. Where's Kara?”
Alex points to the bedside. On the dresser is a short note in Kara’s curly handwriting.
Lee,
Superman needs my help talking down suicidal teen. Be back soon as I can. I Love you.
Xx -Kara
“Duty called, I guess.” Alex says with a half smile.
Lena nods. “Yeah.” She says. Blood isn’t roaring in her ears anymore, but the nightmare still presses against her mind. She feels rattled in a way she hasn't been in a while, and Kara isn't here.
“I'm ok,” She lies. “Thanks for waking me.” The you can go now is unspoken, but implied.
“Sure you are,” Alex agrees amicably. “And Kara will kill me if she finds out I left just now. So,” she pats Lena’s knee beneath the blanket, “Budge up.”
Lena sighs and makes room on the bed, ignoring the voice inside that twists and writhes demanding to be heard. The one that insists that Luthors do not show weakness, do not need comfort, do not need anything from anybody.
Alex settles in besides Lena and takes her hand. Lena stiffens in surprise, but doesn't pull away. Alex knows she needs to tread carefully.
She sits hand in hand with the girl her sister has fallen for. A girl whom once embodied every fear Alex had for her bright, sweet, naïve yet not, alien little sister. A girl whom Alex is slowly learning to trust between weapons consultations for the DEO and their never ending rivalry for the Broadway property when they play Monopoly on Game Nights.
Kara thinks they should just split the mortgage and co-own the property. They've both given up on trying to explain that co-owning is the antithesis of a Monopoly.
“Wanna tell me about it?” Alex offers quietly when Lena’s breathing evens out.
“No,” Lena says after a beat, but she squeezes Alex’s hand and the refusal carries no sting.
“Ok,” Alex says. She understands. Lena isn't Kara, and neither is Alex.
Lena’s breathing stays steady though, and Alex hesitates for a moment before she starts to sing.
Alex Danvers is singing to her. The song is My Favorite Things, from The Sound of Music, but Alex seems to be singing a version tailor made to Kara’s favorites, because Lena catches the words potstickers and puppies woven into the lyrics.
She wonders vaguely how often Alex used to sit like this, holding the hand of a golden haired kryptonian, singing away the memories of a home on fire.
The swell of Alex’s voice rises at the chorus. The older Danvers can sing. She wonders if Kara can.
Warmth floods through her as Alex sings about chemistry and Monopoly, and Kara's smile. A few of Lena’s favorite things.
Her nightmare, a jumble of her birth mother’s face, all fuzzy and untraceable and Lillian’s sneering face with words that hurt worse than the perfectly manicured fingernails digging into her arm, fades away.
She feels safe and warm and protected with a hand in hers and a strong voice drowning out her fears.
As she slides back into sleep she thinks about another time, another nightmare, another voice and the same feeling.
Safety.
Safe the arms of a protector, someone who cared and would keep the monsters under the bed quiet. She breathes slowly, consciousness slipping away as the hand she holds slips out from under her own.
“Good night, Lena.” She hears whispered.
“Good night, Lex.” She mumbles and falls to the welcoming clutches of a deep, dreamless sleep.
Maggie is still up when Alex crawls into bed beside her. “Hey,” she says. “You did good.”
“She thought I was Lex at the end. Right before she fell asleep.” Alex tells her quietly. Maggie’s arm wraps around her waist.
“Yeah? How did that feel?”
Because they've talked about this. This need that Alex has to be the savior, the support, the reliable one. And of the fear of failure that comes along with it.
“Big.” Is all Alex responds. Maggie nods into the crook of her neck.
“I love you, Alex Danvers.” She says.
“I love you, Maggie Sawyer.” Alex says back. They sleep.
It's 1 pm before Lena finally manages to catch Alex alone.
They’d all had a late brunch and exchanged gifts with Eliza. Now Maggie and Kara are outside building a snowman and Eliza is reading on the couch with a mug of her favorite Earl Grey.
Alex is putting away the last of the leftovers when Lena enters the kitchen. The older brunette is wearing an apron that has brightly colored handprints slapped onto it. The messy pattern marks it as Kara's handiwork.
“Hey, Lena.” The older brunette greets her. “You didn't want to help build Olaf?”
“Who?”
Alex laughs. “Don't tell Kara you haven't seen Frozen. She’ll make us watch it at the next movie night and that soundtrack is already boiling out of my ears.”
“Well, to preserve your ears, I'll keep quiet.” She banters back.
Alex gives her simpering look of faux gratitude and turns to continue the monumental feat of creating more shelf space in an already packed fridge.
Really, Lena is more than happy to have this conversation with Alex’s back. She's faced down billionaire investors, and arrogant board members and scheming politicians without breaking a sweat, but when it comes to this woman who is so important to Kara, whose opinion and approval mean so much to Kara, Lena is a bundle of nerves. She clears her throat to speak anyway.
Has she mentioned she's a Luthor? Grace under fire, can lie under pressure, etc. Is still grateful she's talking to Alex’s back.
“I wanted to thank you for last night,” she begins. “You have a beautiful voice.” She adds to make sure Alex cannot pretend she doesn't know what part of last night is being referenced.
“It was no trouble,” Alex says with her head still stuck in the fridge.
“I'm also sorry I called you Lex.” Lena manages to get out. When she remembered that particular detail she had been horrified. Alex had never made it a secret that Lex Luthor was public enemy number one and the first reason that she mistrusted Lena.
They’ve been getting past it, though. Alex sometimes looks at her like she’s Lena. Just Lena, no
last name and Lena’s terrified that last night will change that. Terrified that Kara's big sister will look at her as a threat again.
Alex straightens and looks over at her. “It was an honor.” she says softly. Lena stares at her.
“But”-
“An honor.” Alex repeats firmly, and turns back to the fridge.