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“Are you sure he’s okay?”
Lukas squeezes his hand. “Uh—”
“I’m—I’m fine,” Philip gasps, burying his face even further into Lukas’s neck. “I’m just dying, is all.”
Lukas is sitting on Philip’s right side, holding his hand tight and hovering over him. They figured Philip would get his matching tattoo on his left wrist, so when they held hands the heart lines would press together. Philip tries to focus on how romantic the whole thing is instead of focusing on the goddamn pain being drilled into his left wrist. It literally feels like someone is scraping a nail against a really bad sunburn.
“If we start hearing that stuff we need to stop,” Jenna, the tattoo artist, says. She has sleeve tattoos, tattoos up and down her neck, and Philip doesn’t know how she’s still alive.
“No, no,” Philip says, his voice breaking a little bit. He knows if she stops that it’ll just be worse when she starts again. “It’s fine. I’m….fine.”
“Baby,” Lukas whispers into his ear. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
Philip’s eyes are watering and he sucks in a breath. “We literally went to the doctor so we could see your heartbeat,” Philip says, shifting a little bit as he runs all his words together. “You did all that crap, with the electrodes and shit for the EKG. I’m getting this tattoo.”
“You make it sound like I’m Frankenstein’s monster or something,” Lukas says, laughing and rubbing Philip’s shoulder. “I mean, we got check-up’s. Helen was very proud. So it’s not like it was a bad decision, either way.”
Philip groans a little bit. “I’m sure she’ll be thrilled when she hears we went so I could—could get—get a tattoo.”
“She’ll be fine,” Lukas says. “As always, Gabe will be thrilled and he’ll level out any freaking out she wants to do.”
Jenna goes up on the heart line and Philip sucks in a breath. “Uh—who knows, she might—she might even have one.”
“Really?” Lukas asks, humming to himself.
“I don’t know,” Philip says, shaking his head. “I don’t know, I can’t think straight, I’m dying.”
Jenna makes a little noise but keeps going.
Lukas kisses Philip’s forehead, drawing his hand across his shoulders and caressing the back of his neck. “We’re not even gonna tell them today,” he says.
“Okay, when?” Philip asks, playing with Lukas’s fingers to distract himself. “When we graduate college? When we get married?”
Lukas snorts. “I was thinking maybe next week, when they’ve healed a little bit and look better. We can take a picture of our wrists next to each other, and they’ll think it’s so cute that they’ll just be cool with it. We’re adults.”
Philip scoffs. He feels like the tiniest child right now, like he’s reverting to the scrawny little nine year old that fell out of the tree at the park. But now there’s Lukas, now there’s love. Now there’s a tattoo that hurts like nothing else but means so much. As soon as he saw Lukas’s tattoo he knew he needed a matching one.
“What’s your dad gonna think?” Philip asks, craning his neck to look at Lukas’s face. He feels like his whole body is jelly and maybe he’s acting insane but all his pain is located in his wrist right now and everything else feels strangely disconnected.
Lukas chews on his lower lip and smiles softly at Philip. “Would you be mad if I told you I told him already?”
Philip narrows his eyes. “Really?” he asks. He shakes his head. “I mean, not mad, just—surprised. What did he say?”
“He was surprisingly not screaming and pretty supportive,” Lukas says. “I told him you were gonna get a matching one and he just said to hold your hand.”
That makes Philip’s heart go a little tight and he nods, nuzzling back into Lukas’s neck again. “I’m lucky your name is one letter less than mine is.”
“Exactly,” Lukas says. “That last P, baby, I felt it, I really felt it.” He laughs and Philip laughs too, tipping his chin up. It’s become their universal sign for wanting a kiss and Lukas gives him what he wants, momentarily distracting him from the pain.
“Tell me something,” Philip says, still gazing up at him.
“Like what?” Lukas asks.
“Anything,” Philip says.
“I bought stuff to make brownies later,” Lukas says, his eyes bright. “That double chocolate kind that was so good last time you almost cried.”
Philip fucking loves him. “You’re amazing.”
“I try,” Lukas says. “You know what my next tattoo is gonna be?”
Philip nearly jerks away and ruins Jenna’s work. “Next tattoo? You’re already thinking about a next tattoo? When I’m sitting here dying?’
Jenna clicks her tongue but doesn’t say anything.
“I’m gonna get…your entire face on my chest,” Lukas says, grinning. “Just…your whole face.”
Philip narrows his eyes. “I’d kill you,” he says. “I have full claim on that chest and I only want my face there when I press my face there.”
“You mean blow raspberries into the middle of my chest and my stomach and make me knee you in the hip?” Lukas asks.
“It was worth it to hear you make those noises,” Philip says, grinning.
“I like your noises more,” Lukas says, low.
Philip stares up into his eyes. “I like that I’m gonna have your heartbeat on my skin,” he says.
“I was thinking about you during the test so it sped up a little bit,” Lukas says. He brings Philip’s hand up to his mouth and kisses his knuckles.
Philip smiles a little bit. “What were you thinking about?” he asks. He’s sure Lukas is going to mention the weird desperate sex they had the other day when they were apart for eight hours, or when they were dancing around in their underwear after acing their Algebra quizzes.
“I was actually thinking about that picture I took of you,” Lukas says. He reaches his left hand around and starts brushing Philip’s hair back from his forehead.
“Which?” Philip asks, narrowing his eyes.
“Last week, uh, when we met up at Washington Square Park and those skaters almost knocked into me,” Lukas says.
Philip snorts. “And you were like hey man, like, skate the other way!”
“Yes,” Lukas says, rolling his eyes.
“So slick,” Philip says, giggling.
“But I took that picture of you with the sun behind your head while you were staring off at them all judgey,” Lukas says. “It’s just about the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I made it my lock screen and my background.”
Philip gazes at him for a couple minutes, shaking his head. “I love you,” he says. “I didn’t even look good that day. I’d gotten like two hours of sleep.”
“I love you too,” Lukas says, leaning in and kissing his forehead again. “You always look good.” He stops playing with Philip’s hair and lets his hand rest at the base of Philip’s neck again, rubbing his thumb back and forth.
“Alright, drama queens,” Jenna says. “Finishing up.” She does the last bit of Lukas’s S and dabs at the word and the heart line with a cloth, sitting back and admiring her work.
Philip is so relieved that she’s not stabbing at his skin anymore, and he’s even more relieved that it looks so goddamn good, completely matching Lukas’s in every way.
“What do we think?” Jenna asks.
Lukas leans over and puts his right wrist next to Philip’s left, and seeing them together makes Philip’s breath catch in his throat. “Perfect,” Lukas says, grinning wide. He presses a big kiss to Philip’s cheek. “You like it, baby?”
“Well it’s your name, your heart, so,” Philip says, facing him. “Of course it’s perfect.”
Lukas nuzzles their noses together. “Such a romantic.”
“Lukas, gimme your phone,” Jenna says. “Lemme take a picture of you two lovebirds and your freaking heartbeat tattoos.”
Lukas laughs, reaching into his pocket and handing his phone to her. They hold their wrists out next to each other and grin for the camera.
“Okay, now kiss!” Jenna says, jumping up and down a little bit.
“With pleasure,” Lukas says.
Philip turns towards him again. “Love you, baby.”
“Love you too,” Lukas says, grinning and bringing their mouths together again.