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Angela had spent a lifetime learning from her brother Rusty. Fighting, mannerisms, perfecting detachment. Rusty lived without stress, without fear, without showing any of the crushing weight of the world. Angela admired her brother more than anyone in the world for most of her life. And then she met Kami Glass.
Moving to Sorry-in-the-Vale had been one more blip in a lifetime of her peculiar parents and their absent ways. Their lives had nothing to do with Angela and Rusty, after all. Angela followed Rusty’s example once again: cool, collected, uncaring. After all, changing schools during middle school was no big deal. She’d started her first day not knowing a single person, and she spent her day aggressively ignoring most of the people who talked to her.
So typical, guys hitting on her, girls reacting negatively to the attention she always got from her male classmates. Girls who never stopped to consider that maybe Angela didn’t want this attention. With an internal sigh she kept her expression blank and bored. Halfway through her second day at school, some Asian girl with really peculiar fashion sense had plopped herself down across the table from Angela. Without glancing up, Angela continued to ignore her.
“Hi, you’re new right?” the girl asked, voice bright and annoying. Angela nodded, still not really paying attention. “Well I’d love to hear all about you! I mean not much of anything happens here. It’s a small town. I’m Kami Glass.” This gave Angela pause, this weirdo wanted, what, her life story? She finally glanced up and looked over the girl who was disturbing her peaceful lunch.
Kami Glass was pretty, that was the first thing Angela noticed, then brushed the thought aside as though it had never been. She had a bright smile, and brighter eyes. She had an air of determination and… exuberance. Angela felt tired just looking at her. Trying to decide the best way to get rid of her, Angela tilted her head slightly to the side, regardly Kami cooly.
“I’m Angela. Don’t you have any other friends to harass?” Angela asked, her voice bland. Kami flinched back slightly, hair falling in front of her face. Angela felt a slight pang of guilt, which surprised her. After a moment Kami seemed to focus back on Angela, and gave her a sort of shy smile.
“Actually, no.” Kami said with a shrug. “My old best friend ditched me because she thinks I’m crazy.” The frankness of her explanation surprised Angela all over again.
“Are you?” Angela blurted out. Kami smiled with a bit more confidence.
“Sadly yes. Isn’t everyone a bit though?” Kami asked. Angela nodded, conceding the point.
And that was that. Kami was just there. There with Angela at lunch, there by her locker, there in her math class. She was all bright smiles and a whirlwind of energy. For the first time in her life, she had admiration for someone besides her brother. Kami would come over in the afternoon and pace back in forth in Angela’s bedroom, scheming, planning, talking out loud about whatever came into her head, while Angela laid on the floor, the bed, leaned back in a chair, or on one memorable occasion allowed Kami to make her a nest of couch cushions and pillows which she blissfully reclined on, in exchange for reading Kami questions off a page so she could study for a test. The hours of Kami talking became soothing in their own way. Kami was reliable, Kami was around no matter what. Her parents, Rusty, whoever else could go wander off. Kami would always be there.
Except then… sometimes she wasn’t. Angela would be half listening to a story being animatedly retold to her, and Kami would trail off mid-sentence. Sometimes when she waited for Angela by Angela’s locker, Kami wouldn’t even notice when she came up. She’d have a thousand yard stare and a secret smile. She never smiled quite the same way at Angela as she did in those quiet, distant moments. Angela told herself it didn’t hurt.
Before she knew it, she’d been living in Sorry-in-the-Vale for a year. Kami was undoubtedly her best friend. They did homework together, and Kami dragged Angela along on whatever her latest project was. Angela graciously allowed Kami to cook for her, and afterwards Kami would sleep over, and they’d curl up in Angela’s oversized bed. When her parents were gone, and Rusty was away at school, it was too quiet. She’d sit in the empty house and block out certain thoughts; she was accomplished at ignoring loneliness, she’d had so much practice. But then, Kami would turn up unexpectedly, with some treat from her mother’s bakery and they’d do homework and Angela would complain and Kami would give Angela her brightest smile.
Just not the secret smile. Angela wondered sometimes, who made Kami smile like that. It wasn’t her, she knew that. It didn’t seem like any of the boys at school. A smaller voice inside Angela said that it didn’t seem like any of the girls either. Angela concluded that the cause must be Kami’s obvious and tragic insanity. Angela resolved that she would have to look out for this poor lost soul, lest she float away like a lost balloon into a blue sky.
And so it went. They had good days and less good days. Sometimes Angela missed what her life might have been like, if her family had been more like Kami’s. Whenever Angela struggled that way, Kami would notice, with her sharp eyes catching every detail. She’d make sure to invite Angela over for dinner, including Angela in every part of her life. Then when Kami finally ran out of steam, which did happen from time to time, Angela would make sure she had a safe place to fall.
Kami did take a lot of looking after. She got made fun of a school sometimes, not paying attention in class, getting giggles when she had to admit she hadn’t been listening, yet again. Angela had perfected what she called her “glare of death”, which she directed at anyone foolish enough to comment on Kami’s spaciness. She was baffled though to hear Kami’s own mother make a joke about Kami and her “imaginary friend”, complete with air quotes. Seeing Kami turn away, eyes tearing up and body stiff, was all the more shocking.
Angela finally brought it up one day, casually, when the curiosity outweighed her desire to not pry into Kami’s business. She was flopped on her bed, head tipped back over the edge and looking at Kami upside down. The peculiar angle was perfect for a sneak attack.
“So, I can’t help but feel there’s something that you haven’t told me. I know there is. I know you’ve got your own reasons for not telling me, but I feel I should point out that whatever it is, we both know I’m far too lazy to acquire and train a new best friend.” Angela spoke quietly, as though she was trying not to spook Kami. She also wasn’t surprised when Kami went still and stiff and silent for a long moment before answering.
“I have an imaginary friend.” Kami said slowly, not looking up at Angela. “My whole life. When we were little… everyone still thought it was cute. But when you get to high school and you still hear someone else’s voice in your head, people stop thinking ‘cute’ and start thinking ‘schizophrenic’.”
Angela couldn’t help but notice Kami said “when *we* were little”. As in, her and her friend. Who she talked to. In her head. This voice, whatever it was, whoever it was? It was quite real to Kami. Despite her own jokes Angela didn’t think Kami was sick or crazy.
“Well, I’m not giving up your recently perfected ability to cook spaghetti with sauce no matter who you talk to.” Angela said with an upside down shrug. Kami looked up at her sharply.
“You mean you don’t care?” Kami asked, voice filled with shock.
“No.” Angela replied calmly. Kami stood and started pacing.
“But Nicola stopped talking to me eventually. Having a best friend who talked to someone in their head was too weird for her.” Kami argued.
“Well Nicola is a moron.” Angela said simply.
And that was that. Kami had been overwhelmed by Angela’s ability to not get worked up over things that didn’t really matter. Angela acting like it wasn’t a big deal made it easier for Kami to act like it wasn’t a big deal.
“What’s their name?” Angela asked, after giving Kami a few minutes to adjust.
“Jared.” Kami said, and she smiled that secret smile, that was for Jared, before she looked up, and gave Angela that bright smile, which was just for her. Angela smiled back before announcing that she needed a snack.
Maybe their friendship was unusual in some ways, but anyone close to them could see how well it worked. Angela liked being beautiful and fierce as a tiger. She liked Kami’s quirky outfits and the way she pulled others into her schemes with a mix of excitement and extreme determination. When they walked together, Angela enjoyed the looks on other people’s faces mostly. She appreciated people appreciating them, so long as they didn’t bother her.
Then there was the Great Claud Debacle. Rusty had ruined everything, in Angela’s opinion. Claud and Cricket camp and Kami’s grandmother dying, all in a few short weeks. Claud had driven Angela crazy, his stupid face, and stupid way of talking, and stupid tool attitude. Angela had, on more than one occasion, the desire to throw Claud out a window or something. Only the thought of what a pain the cleanup would be kept her from doing it.
Then Claud was gone, and Kami was still raw from her grandmother’s death. The entire Glass family, usually boisterous and friendly, were all hushed and still, full of sadness. Kami showed up late at Angela’s one night, claiming that she’d needed the change of scenery. She talked and paced for almost an hour, before her energy faded away and she let Angela talk her into changing into pajamas and crawling into bed. Angela spent a few minutes smoothing back Kami’s hair, and pretended not to notice the tear that slid down Kami’s cheek.
“Everything will be alright Kami.” Angela had whispered quietly into the dark. She felt rather than saw Kami nod her head. They fell asleep holding hands.
When they’d been friends for five years, everything changed one day. Jared was real, and that part of Kami that had always belonged to him, instead of Angela, was suddenly harshly obvious. Angela didn’t trust him in the slightest. It wasn’t like it had been with Claud, because nothing Angela said about Jared really got through the Kami.
There was a secret Angela had been keeping, one she’d been thinking about discussing with Kami for a while now. It seemed like way too much work, but Angela knew she’d have to do it some day. In light of Jared though, Angela resolved to hold off. That part of Kami that belonged to Jared was private, and not shared with Angela at all. So maybe it was best if that part of Angela that was private wasn’t shared with Kami, for a while longer at least.
In some ways Angela had known she was sharing Kami all along, it was just with Jared there, taking up space in a room with his lurking leather jacket man pain, it felt much more real. The way Kami seemed pulled towards him by gravity. The way that Kami would still trail off with a distant look and her secret smile, even though Jared was in the same damn room she was.
But Angela had some gravity problems of her own. She’d spent so long orbiting, and being orbited by Kami that she’d forgotten what the new sparks felt like. Angela couldn’t remember ever feeling quite like she did when she was around Holly. Something about Holly’s uncertainty was charming, watching Holly flirt was like watching an artist. Plus Holly was kind of a knockout… Angela wasn’t sure when she started feeling strange tummy flutters whenever Holly came into a room, but it was definitely interfering with her nap schedule.
And as if that all wasn’t enough… magic was real? Angela still couldn’t help thinking about all of this as if it were some joke of Kami’s. Jared, magicians, blood magic… it was too surreal. No matter what happened Kami seemed unfazed. She schemed and planned and dragged them all along with her. And Angela was mostly fine with that, complaints aside. She knew her place was at Kami’s side, no matter what was coming down the road. She knew Kami felt the same way, and that was pretty much all that mattered. Whatever was coming for them, it had better be ready for a fight.