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A left, another left, a right, and then a left. Or was it left, right, left, left?
Jungkook doesn't have time to worry about that as he races down the hall, each tick of the clocks in the hospital, each quickening beat of his heart feeling like it might be the last. Like it might be too late.
Room two twenty-four, two twenty-five... screw it.
Jungkook bursts through the door a millisecond before he could process that it was indeed the correct number, but is given confirmation by the figure seemingly drowning beneath the white sheets.
He was pale. An IV drip attached to one arm. There were a few patches of faint yellow from the bruising. But amidst the faint beeping in the background and the smell of disinfectants much too strong, he was still the same Jimin that Jungkook had always known.
"Jimin—" Jungkook cuts himself off, part of him afraid that he'd regret whatever tumbled out of his mouth in such a distraught state, and the other part of him not even knowing what to say.
Jimin, I'm so sorry...please don't hate me.
Jungkook keeps his head bowed, avoiding the look of hatred that he expected from his husband.
"Um...hi?"
But as he looks up and sees that strangely empty look in Jimin's eyes, he knows that something isn't quite right.
"Jimin? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." A pause that feels much too long. "Sorry, um, could you tell me who you are?" he asks, eyebrows furrowed and lips curling down into a frown. "Were you someone important to me?"
Perhaps it was even worse than hatred. Was it just a prank? Was it his way of indirectly lashing out and making Jungkook's life hard? Could it even be possible that he had actually hit his head too hard and forgotten everything...?
"Wait, are you Jungkook?"
Jungkook can't help but stare blankly at the man. The man that once gazed back at him with such a range of emotions who now held nothing but that single question in his eyes.
He hadn't meant for things to turn out like this at all.
"Yes, I am." But what does that mean to you now?
Jimin lets out an audible sigh of relief, the tension slipping out from his shoulders. "Oh, good."
"Good?" Jungkook dumbly repeats back.
"You're the one that they keep talking about." Jimin fiddles with the sheets, not meeting his gaze. "We must've been pretty close and it's just comforting to have a friend here."
"Friend." Jungkook echoes back like a broken record.
That causes him to look up. "We weren't friends? Don't tell me we were married or something." The brunette now barks a laugh that shows he may have intended it to be a joke to break up the awkward atmosphere between them, but the words have already hit Jungkook directly in the heart. It was hard to think that this Jimin didn't know anything, that this wasn't his Jimin, but at the same time, it wasn't hard to imagine the real Jimin spewing hurtful words like this too.
It was a lose-lose situation and he wasn't sure which was worse—his Jimin, who no longer wanted anything to do with him, or this version now who saw him as no more than a stranger.
"Um...no." We're married but—no, I can't tell you anything like this. It's too quiet in the room even with the faint beeping of machines in the background and he could only hear his own heart pounding too painfully in his chest. "We were...um."
Jimin raises an eyebrow at that. "Hooking up? You can just say it, you know."
"No!" He feels his cheeks blaze at the mention, wanting nothing more than to run his fingers through Jimin's soft hair, to taste his lips and feel the way his breath fell against warm skin, to know that he was alive and that all of this was real. Yet he stands still with feet firmly planted, not trusting himself to get any closer to the one he once called his husband. "No, we were like... best friends. Uh, more than best friends."
"Were we dating?"
"Something like that."
"Hmm, that's interesting. I don't think I believed in dating."
Jungkook's attention snaps back to him. He remembers college-Jimin saying these words back in the day, long before they were anything more than just classmates.
Which meant it was either a terrible prank, or he really has no memory past his college days? No memory of Jungkook at all?
"Yeah, you didn't." Jungkook admits. "I'm not sure what happened." He chuckles awkwardly to hide the way he was slowly sinking, not knowing what to do, how to react, how to even take in the situation. What if Jimin never regained his memories and this new Jimin didn't like him at all? But what if he did recover his memories and then everything goes back to normal? Either way it seemed like he'd lose him again in the end.
"Then you must've been quite the guy." Jimin's tone is filled with a sort of ironic amusement, not quite skeptical or sarcastic, but not quite teasing either.
Jungkook stays quiet, shrugging slightly and forcing on a smile. It's like he was acting as odd as someone around their crush, or someone he was trying to impress.
Because that's basically what this came down to, right? He needed to convince Jimin, someone as distant as a stranger now, to fall in love with him before it was too late.
Too late for what? Jungkook doesn't exactly know but definitely doesn't want to think about that.
"So Jungkook, tell me about us."
***
Day two went a bit better after he was debriefed by the doctors. They said it was indeed some sort of head injury, and that memories may or may not be recovered. All they could do was monitor him from now and see which regions were affected and which memories had been lost.
"Um, so what would you like to know?" Jungkook asks, feeling the most uncomfortable in the small room. He was standing by the door, leaning against the wall. Crossing his arms. Then uncrossing them. Crossing his legs. Uncrossing them. Crossing them the other way.
His eyes dart to the window. To the machines against the wall. To the chair beside the bed. He'd already thought some of this through: no, he couldn't sit down there since it was too close to him. And you couldn't just sit beside a stranger so intimately like that.
It was Jimin who asked him to come in every day to catch him up on all the details that he's now missing. It seemed like Jimin's way of saying Don't give up on me. On us. But then again, maybe he was just bored of staying there all by himself, because who wouldn't be when they're stuck in a hospital bed?
Jimin coughs, pulling Jungkook out of his thoughts. "So how did we meet?"
Jungkook pastes a smile on his face and decides to sit down in that chair anyway.
The first days of a new semester in university when students were still keen on coming to class and excited to experience what becoming an adult was truly like—that was when they first met.
Jungkook had been that stubborn kid who sat in the same seat in every lecture, claiming it as his own and getting bitter whenever anyone had come close to taking it. The first few days were fine, but naturally, it grew more and more difficult to even show up to an early morning class. That is, until skipping one lecture resorted in coming back to see Jimin being the guy to take his seat.
From then on it'd been some sort of competition where Jungkook would try to go as early as possible to claim his seat. Jimin hadn't seemed to notice at all, though perhaps the first time he truly noticed was when Jungkook had accidentally stumbled into his lap while extremely sleep deprived and running on the nervous energy caffeine provided.
"Are you even in this class?" Jungkook had asked suspiciously, shifting to the seat right beside his competitor as it would've been too awkward to just walk away to the row behind him at this point. There was no choice but to acknowledge the unsaid competition.
"Why wouldn't I be?" The boy had fired back, the strangest look on his attractive face.
And being so sleep deprived, Jungkook had mumbled the first thing that came to mind. "But why would there be any hot guys in theoretical physics?"
The boy definitely hadn't been expecting that. Slightly taken aback and a hint of blush on his cheeks, he'd also just blurted something out. "Then why are you here?"
Attractive stranger just called him attractive. That had shut Jungkook up for the rest of that lecture.
They'd become seat buddies and then formed a study group and somewhere in between there'd been something more. It'd been easy from then on, naturally falling together at every point.
Jungkook stops speaking when he notices Jimin's furrowed brows, a crease in the center of his forehead.
"That's a really weird first meeting."
"Yeah, it was. How are you even believing me right now?" Then he pauses. "Wait, maybe I shouldn't have even told you about that; you probably think I'm a freaking weirdo now."
"Maybe that's how you caught my attention." Jimin laughs. "Besides, you were in theoretical physics. Clearly, you couldn't have been very normal."
"...that's true."
"But Jungkook?"
"Hmm?"
Jimin smiled, a familiar twinkle in his eyes. "I'm believing all this because I know I would still say the same thing right now."
And that left Jungkook wordless for a while because did attractive stranger-Jimin just call him attractive again?
***
"So you've been visiting him?" Taehyung says on the phone, voice concerned.
Jungkook pauses. Then sighs. "Yeah."
"And? How is that going?"
"I don't know, Tae. He can't really remember anything. He doesn't remember me."
"Oh." There's a good ten seconds of silence. "Well, are you going to tell him?"
"How can I? Tae, I don't know how this is going to go. Today I only said that we were like friends or dating or whatever it is that college kids do these days." He rubs his eyes forcefully, wanting to pretend that none of this was happening, that maybe he could just break time-space and actually go back to their college days.
"You aren't going to tell him that you're married?"
"Tae, I can't. He'll never forgive me."
"But Jungkook, you can't just hide something like this." Taehyung sounds like he's frowning. "He's going to find out eventually."
"Tae... please don't tell him. I-I just need some more time to figure this all out. Please."
A deep sigh. "Okay, I won't. But I can't guarantee Yoongi won't say anything though." He pauses. "But then again, he probably hates you enough that he won't even mention your name in front of Jimin at all."
Jungkook can't decide if he wants to laugh or cry. "Okay. Thanks, Tae."
"Good luck, bro."
***
Jungkook had somehow stayed for the entirety of visiting hours the day before just chatting with Jimin. It brought him back to their college times, when the most they'd have to worry about was passing the next midterm. It made him look forward to visiting the next day.
The bruises have changed colour into a deep purple now, but the swelling was mostly gone. There was more colour in his face, but the best part was the shy smile that appeared when Jungkook arrived.
He brought some of Jimin's stuff from the house today, setting it all down on the table nearby. It was a bag of clothes, with a couple of snacks hidden at the bottom which the nurses hopefully wouldn't find.
Then Jungkook sat down in the chair naturally.
"Tell me what our first date was like?"
Jungkook wasn't sure one would even consider it a first date, but it was a day that he'd always remember—not for how sweet or lovey-dovey it was, but for how embarrassed he'd felt.
First term finals had come and gone, and with that, the start of winter break marked a season of splurging for celebrating students. Jimin had taken him to a cozy bubble tea cafe that'd just opened nearby.
"How is this lovely couple doing today?" the waiter asked, smiling so widely at the two of them that it almost looked like a sarcastic expression. "Here are the menus for you guys—oh just so you know, we're having a Christmas special for couples this week. You can pick anything off the couple's menu at the back for a discounted price."
"Thanks," Jungkook glanced at the waiter's nametag, "Taehyung."
"No problem! If you need anything, just let me know. You guys are super cute, by the way." A wink.
The discounts may have sounded appealing at one point, but Jungkook didn't even know if he wanted it anymore because of how awkward the entire situation was becoming.
"So...how rude would it be if we just left right now?" Jungkook asked, eyeing the counter warily.
Jimin had been strangely silent throughout the whole exchange, an unreadable expression on his face and bottom lip between his teeth. "As long as we never come back—"
"Hey! Here's some water to get the lovely couple started. You guys weren't about to leave, right? That would be unfortunate." Taehyung came back with two glasses of water, placing them on the small table between them.
Jungkook waited until the odd server left before whispering to Jimin, "How did he know? Were we too loud?"
"He—" Jimin bit his lip again, expression turning sheepish. "Just ignore whatever he says."
"Hmm..." Jungkook couldn't help but feel his heart sink a little bit. He didn't know what he'd been hoping for, but hearing it felt somewhat like a rejection.
They'd ended up ordering something from the couples' menu anyway, with Jimin muttering something about their server getting the most commission from this section after Taehyung enthusiastically introduced all of the dishes. Jungkook had agreed all too easily.
The rest of the night had passed by almost too quickly. Everything had almost seemed normal except for Jungkook constantly feeling quite self-conscious with the waiter watching them from somewhere in the cafe, and Jimin's laughter being more muted than usual.
The food was good, though. It almost made him forget about everything else.
"Thank you!" The waiter said when they got up to go. "Not going to end off a great date with a kiss?"
That's when Jimin had had enough and shoved Taehyung lightly, though the latter was completely unsuspecting of it and ended up pushed into the counter.
"Hey! What was that—"
It all happened too quickly but the next thing he knew, Jimin was dragging Jungkook out the door, a hand gripped tightly onto his own, and they were running down the block in the snow.
Cold wind was whipping his face with only the adrenaline keeping him warm and then when Jimin turned to him with a mischievous laugh, Jungkook was suddenly feeling really giddy at how things turned out. Perhaps Jimin had gone a little far, but the way he glowed and the light flush on his cheeks said it was all worth it.
They finally stopped running once they were a few blocks away, no longer with the risk of having Taehyung chase after them or something.
"You know...he wasn't wrong, though. It was a good date," Jimin murmured.
"It was."
"So you get this, I guess." He kissed his finger tips and then pressed them to Jungkook's cheek softly.
Jungkook shakes himself out of his thoughts before he could be fully pulled back into those memories. "Yeah so in conclusion, your friend, Taehyung, who I had thought was some creepy rando who just worked there, was the one who started everything." He shifts gingerly on the metal folding chair, butt uncomfortable from sitting so long.
Jimin has to stop his laughter to catch his breath. "Don't worry, I killed him for that afterwards."
"Yeah, you should've—" Jungkook has to stop to process what Jimin had just said as it sounded funny. "Wait what?"
"I mean, I must've, right?"
Jungkook snorts, waving it off. "Considering how much you still hate him for that, yeah probably."
***
Jungkook started going back to work but despite that, he felt better than he had in weeks. All because he started looking forward to his daily visits where he gets to see Jimin.
"What would you like to know today?" Jungkook asks as he goes to set down the snacks he brought on the table. He stopped by the grocery store on his way there and bought some of Jimin's favourites despite of what the doctors had been saying. Hospital food must be terrible after all.
"Hmm," Jimin gives him a certain look, smirk settling onto his mouth.
"What?" Jungkook stares at him through narrowed eyes. "Please don't make me talk about anything embarrassing."
Jimin raises an eyebrow. "Well, I don't think it could get much worse than yesterday's story."
"Oh my god. Don't bring that up ever again."
"Then tell me about our first kiss."
Jungkook nods, sitting down beside the bed as he refuses to acknowledge the furious blush creeping up his neck.
Nothing had happened after that incident, almost as if the two of them both were frantically pretending that nothing had happened. Things went back to a normal flow between the two of them, and soon, the second semester resumed and midterms came back in full swing.
The day before their thermodynamics midterm was when Jimin had brought him over to his apartment because there had been absolutely no space on campus to study. The apartment was close enough to the school so it didn't take much effort to relocate their study date.
Only, it was Jimin's poor (or devious) planning skills that caused the series of events to spur from there.
"Wait you don't have a couch or a breakfast table...?" Jungkook had asked as he took a quick glance around Jimin's small apartment. It was pretty bare and didn't appear to be habited at all.
"Yeah...no. I don't really spend much time here."
"Um, where should we study then?"
Jimin's bedroom was even smaller, with only a simple bed, cabinet, and desk filling the space. Maybe that should've been enough of a warning that the bed was not an ideal place to study on.
Notebooks and binders sprawled across the sheets surrounded Jungkook as he attempted to derive Schrodinger's equation again after failing too many times. And being a physics student, maybe he should've realized that the momentum of Jimin's weight on the bed beside him might make them collide and be infinitely close to each other. But maybe that's exactly what Jimin had planned in the first place.
So when Jungkook called him over to look at where his derivation went wrong, everything happened at once and Jimin's forehead ended up crashing into his jaw, quite painfully.
"Omfh," the shorter boy had pulled away just slightly, examining Jungkook's face with light touches while the rest of his body remained pressed against Jungkook's. "Sorry, are you okay?"
"Y-yeah, fine."
Jungkook couldn't help but notice the warmth radiating from Jimin and how his body fit so nicely against his side. It was too nice to shift away even though he was feeling so self-conscious with Jimin's every movement—propping his elbow on Jungkook's thigh, leaning against his shoulder...
It stayed silent between them as Jimin checked over his derivations, until he suddenly turned to ask something. "Hey Jungkook?"
"Mhm?"
"If you never reveal to your crush that you like them, then does your crush really like you back?"
That made Jungkook fully stop what he was doing just to process the words. "What?"
"Well, if there's never an observation made, then theoretically there'd still be two universes superimposed on each other, right?" He paused, eyes flickering away when Jungkook met his gaze.
"Oh, so you're saying if you never confess to your crush then there's still a chance they reciprocate." Jungkook continued to stare at him intensely. "Why not just ask them and get a definite answer? Sure, the worst thing that could happen is that the cat is dead, but wouldn't it be so much better if you could make sure that it was alive?"
"So...if I kissed you right now," Jimin shyly dropped his gaze and his volume at that, "would there be a universe where you kissed me back?"
Jungkook froze, not believing what he was hearing. "W-what?"
"Never mind, sorry, I just—"
"There would be."
Then it was Jimin's turn to stop and stare at him. "What?"
"Not one, but every universe."
And then with a small smile, a gradual lean, and the slightest tilt, two worlds collapsed into one as they collided and sparked something greater.
Jungkook smiles as he finishes telling the story and finally turns to gauge Jimin's reaction.
"I'm cringing with how cheesy that was," Jimin says, a soft giggle bubbling from him. "You're so cute, Jungkook."
Thud. Jungkook could feel his heart pound painfully at the memory of it, of how he'd heard this exact laugh so many times before, but all too long ago.
Nevertheless, he still finds a way to frown at the words. "I'm not cute," he retorts, "I'm hot and manly as hell."
That gets an even bigger reaction out of Jimin, the slight curve of his lips from before now turning into a full on grin and lighting up his face, and entire body shaking with laughter. "You haven't changed at all."
"I have too! Wait," Jungkook's frown deepens, "what do you mean?"
"Oh, uh—" Jimin suddenly freezes, staring back at him blankly. "You mentioned that you'd complain whenever I called you cute. So I guess that much is still the same." The smile is gone now and Jungkook finds himself missing it already.
"Oh. Yeah, I guess."
Jungkook had probably been too worried and sleep deprived over the past few days. Perhaps that's why he doesn't recall having told Jimin anything about that at all.
***
"Tell me about how you proposed."
That makes him freeze in his steps, glancing over suspiciously at the man lying in the bed. "What makes you think I was the one that proposed?"
Jimin giggles, "Because you're super hot and manly as hell?"
"Please don't." Jungkook stifles a groan. "Okay, fine. Yes, I was the one who proposed."
"Why does it seem like you did something embarrassing?"
"I--" He gives Jimin a dull look. "Hey, you were the one who ruined it for me, okay?"
Like with everything that Jungkook thought he had under control, some things were bound to go very, very wrong. Why he expected the proposal to go perfectly smoothly, he would never know.
Skating. He knew how to skate perfectly well and even knew how to do a couple of easy jumps. So it should've been fine to have a skating date on actual ice, on some special winter date close to when they first started dating. Theoretically.
It'd been a while since they spent a whole day together, but it was nearly Christmas and somehow, he had the feeling that it was the right time. Long past them were the days of university, and now with adult life in full swing, they were both very occupied and barely got to see each other.
But it hadn't happened as he planned. Jungkook had made a reservation at the restaurant on the top floor of the fancy hotel with the best view in the city. It would've been dim inside, two candles lighting up their table that would've cast a soft glow on Jimin's face, making him look even more radiant than usual. There'd be lovely jazz music coming from the live piano player on one side, while a giant pane of glass spanned their other side, showing off the dots of light throughout the city like blinking stars in the sky.
His heart would've been pounding so loudly that it was the only thing he could hear, and when the piano player paused in the middle of the sonata at its height, Jungkook would try not to shake as he knelt down and took out the small box in his pocket.
The small box which somehow contained the very item that would bring them together, a symbol of their future, of their memories.
The very box that had actually slipped out of his pocket as he took a vicious tumble on the ice over the toe picks of his figure skates.
"Aren't you like...afraid of falling?" Jimin had asked him warily while holding onto the boards at the sides, while Jungkook was skating around, trying to show off. "The ice looks so painful to fall on."
"Not when you don't fall." Jungkook had smirked, skating really close to Jimin to scare him before pulling a quick side stop and purposely spraying shreds of ice at his poor boyfriend.
"Yah, Jungkook," Jimin shot him a dark look, "just watch, you're going to fall and I'll be the one laughing when you do."
"But hey, then I could just say I fell for you." He winked before leaving for another few laps of fast and furious skating.
When he finished lapping Jimin all too many times and circled back to find him, that's when it had happened. Maybe his thoughts about asking Jimin to marry him were completely tuning out his other abilities, or seeing Jimin so helplessly trying to skate brought a sudden rush of warmth, but something clearly happened and his damned toe pick had decided right then and there to trip him.
He took quite the tumble, travelling so far as he tried so desperately to prevent the fall but to only stumble down again, that he'd ended up right in front of Jimin. The box lay by his skate when he saw it, and to stop Jimin from seeing it, he made a quick turn using the last of his momentum and spun to pick it up.
But judging by the look of pure terror on Jimin's face, he'd already seen it and it was too late. Jungkook was forced to play it out, and since he was already on the ground in front of Jimin, he decided to do the thing.
Propping one knee up, he'd shoved the box up at him and prayed that its contents didn't somehow fall out.
"Ahem," he'd cleared his throat, trying to swallow down the anxiety. "Um, I guess you could say I did fall for you." The speech he'd prepared was completely vanished from his mind at this point and he was just going with whatever he could think of. Trying to make it as smooth as possible. "But maybe at some point, you'd fallen for me too. Maybe it's better when we fall together. The point is that we'll always be there to catch each other, to help each other get off of the ground, and to know that even when we fall, we fall together and never apart."
He snuck a glance at Jimin's reaction to see him covering the bottom part of his face with one hand, the other still clutching onto the boards for dear life. His eyes seemed to be curved up into the familiar looking smile that Jungkook could recognize anywhere, and it gave him courage to proceed.
"With that being said, will you be my wife?"
Jungkook could've pulled it off perfectly fine but that last line just had to ruin it all.
He hadn't realized right away what he had said, and apparently Jimin hadn't either at first. It wasn't until someone in the distance shouted be his wife! really loudly that finally pulled them out of their moment. And Jungkook didn't think he could ever live this down.
"Your wife, not your husband?" Jimin had asked, fiercely blushing cheeks peeking out from between his fingers.
"I--" Jungkook bit down on his lip, frantically searching for something to say. "You can be anything you want, Jimin. Just please be mine."
"Okay," he removed his hand, letting Jungkook take it and fumble with the ring nervously until it finally slipped on nicely.
They hadn't even noticed the surrounding crowd until the roar of applause snapped them out of it.
They went to the fancy dinner that night as fiancés.
Jungkook trails off after his last sentence, wanting to hide his face but also wanting to gauge Jimin's reaction as he listens to the story. The man on the hospital bed seems to be mildly amused, a soft smile across his lips and eyes sparkling.
"Jungkook," he says quietly.
"Hmm?"
"I think...I can see why I fell for you."
That makes Jungkook's breath hitch as his heart thumps hard in his chest and a bubble of hope manages to appear.
"You make me wish I could have my memories back and enjoy them too."
Jungkook forces a tight smile, dry lips nearly splitting at the action "It's probably better that you don't have them back," he murmurs a bit too loudly under his breath.
"Why not?" Jimin blinks slowly. "Did something happen to us, Jungkook?"
He blanches for a second, mind reeling for a response since he'd expected Jimin to laugh it off and give another teasing smile or something. But he'd caught onto his words instead. "No, it's so I can continue teasing you about all the cheesy things you've done and you can't say anything about it."
"Hmm, okay, I'll believe you." A crack of a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Because I really hope nothing happened to us."
"Me too," Jungkook replies with a bittersweet smile.
***
"Taehyung, did you tell him we were married?"
The weekend has finally arrived and Jungkook's friend sits on the couch, watching a rerun on some anime on TV while eating what leftover ice cream they had in the fridge. Jungkook was cleaning up the house because he'd had enough of this mess, and not because he was hoping to impress Jimin someday when he returns. If he returns at all.
But as he was remembering the details of his conversation with Jimin yesterday, there was another detail that he remembered and it sounded out of place for some reason.
Taehyung doesn't even look away from his show. "Nah, I thought you didn't want me to?"
"Oh hmm." Jungkook picks up another dish to dry it before setting it back in the cupboard. "It's just strange because I thought I'd told him that we were just dating, but yesterday he asked about the proposal."
"He—wait what?" Now Taehyung finally looks up from the show, a spoon full of ice cream held in midair.
"Do you think he's getting more of his memories back?"
"Wait—oh!" The ice cream falls on his lap when he goes to face-palm himself but he doesn't seem to notice, and Jungkook stifles a laugh. "Y-yeah, it must've slipped out when I was talking to him the day before. Sorry about that." A shrug before he goes to put the empty spoon in his mouth.
Jungkook stops halfway through drying the plate in his hands. It just didn't seem to add up because everything flowed so nicely yesterday and he hadn't even noticed that he should've been hiding the whole marriage part if he'd wanted to stick to his original plan. "Okay. It's just that he didn't seem too surprised by it, that's all."
"He's not, Jungkook. Can't you tell? He's already in love with you again."
But you cannot love something you do not remember.
***
Days pass and Jungkook barely even registers the exhaustion setting in his body from all of this.
He doesn't even realize he's fallen asleep while still at the hospital until he's awakened by the loud sound of his ringtone blasting through the silence of the room. Jungkook tries to rub the sleep from his eyes as he reaches blindly for his phone, quickly picking up without bothering to check the number so that it doesn't wake Jimin too.
"Hello?"
"Mr. Jeon? It's Mr. Kim calling from the law firm." Oh. "I'm just calling to inform you that your case date has been moved up, so the divorce can be finalized by as early as next week, if all of your documents are ready to go."
"Um..." Jungkook blinks, letting the words sink in, "wait, next week?"
"Yes, you're fortunate enough to have some cancellations from the cases ahead of you, so yours has been pushed up. Did you get a chance go through all of the documents?"
"Sorry, um, n-not yet," he answers, the lie stumbling off his tongue as he felt his stomach drop. He had finished reading everything, trying to prepare himself, yet the lines where signatures were supposed to be still remained blank. Jungkook heaves a sigh. "I just...I need a bit more time."
"You have the rest of the week. Is that enough?"
"I'll try my best." He hangs up then turns to see Jimin watching him carefully despite the sleep clearly written on his face, a worried expression hanging in the air.
"Was that something important?"
"No," Jungkook puts on a weak smile, tossing his phone aside. "Don't worry about it."
He was running out of time.
***
"Did we ever fight?" Jimin asks meekly, clear eyes gazing at him with a sort of hindered curiosity. Like he wants to know but is afraid of what Jungkook might have to say. So that was his question for today. It might explain why he was a little hesitant when Jungkook came in.
Jungkook decides to put on a sort of grin, shaking his head slowly. "Nah, we would never." He tries for an even brighter expression. "We got along too well for that."
A sigh slips out quietly and a slight smile appears on Jimin's face as well. "Hmm that's good."
Just in case it wasn't convincing enough, Jungkook carries on with the lie. "Well we were pretty similar so there wasn't much to dispute in the first place, and..." he pauses to think for a moment, "even if we did fight, I'd think that it wouldn't be too bad because at least it'd still be with you."
Jimin nods, chewing on his bottom lip and looking mildly uncomfortable. "Really?"
"Anything was fine when it was with you." Jungkook confesses, getting ready to share another memory of the good days in the past.
No, he would never reveal to Jimin how bad their fights got.
Still fresh in his head was one of the worst arguments that acted as a catalyst for this chain of events, one he'd probably never forget because of the way everything had built up then fallen apart so easily.
He'd just gotten home from a long day at work, wanting nothing more than to drop everything and relax for a bit. That came in the form of gaming and so he'd logged into his League of Legends account and called up a couple of his friends for a few rounds.
He hadn't even noticed the time until the click of the door sounded, and Jimin was home.
"How long have you been sitting there? Have you been gaming the whole day?" The frown in Jimin's voice was audible and Jungkook wanted nothing more than to just ignore him and finish his game. They were already losing and this wasn't going to help their team at all.
"Well you're never home so I guess you wouldn't know." Jungkook said sarcastically to the point where he could even hear the venom laced in his own voice.
A tired sigh slipped out. "Jungkook, I have things to do. I'm busy enough as it is and it's all so stressful."
"And then you go out with your work friend every time."Like I don't even exist. Thinking about all of this again just got him more and more riled up. It was the same thing every time, but he couldn't help the sharp tinge of jealousy that was always just beneath the surface, resting there, hurting.
"He's just a friend, and you're the one who said you didn't mind who I hung out with so how am I supposed to know you'd care so much about it now?"
Jungkook could see the way he got Jimin worked up and it almost felt like a victory. But Jimin's tone was defensive and maybe that only made him even more annoyed than before.
"What, a friend that you spend more time with than your own husband?" He sneered.
Jimin rolled his eyes. "Are you being jealous right now? Not this again."
And he was ready. He saw it coming from miles away and knew exactly how this was supposed to play out. "See that's the thing—you never want to talk about it."
"What good will it bring if we're just going to keep fighting over this? I didn't marry you so that we could do this every day."
"Then maybe you shouldn't have."
Only when the stillness hit was when he realized that he said the absolute worst thing he could've said. This wasn't something that ever came up in their arguments. It'd slipped out without him realizing it, and when the response of stop, you don't mean that never came and Jimin's initial shock changed into something darker, that's when he knew it was too late, that he couldn't just take back this mistake.
"Maybe I shouldn't have." Jimin said it quietly, but there it was. It almost seemed too loud in the silence of the room, the one line that cut through the muddled thoughts and any feelings buzzing in Jungkook's mind and seemed to pierce his heart.
Jimin stared at him, eyes unreadable, but Jungkook knew he was waiting, hanging on to the slice of hope that there'd be some retort, some kind of apology or admission of regret. Yet Jungkook chose to stay silent, pursing his lips.
Because even though it hurt so much, maybe it was better this way. It was clear to both of them that this couldn't go on, and replaying through the same cycle over and over would only crumble the remaining of what they had.
That's when Jimin left and never returned for the night.
***
"There's something I wanted to ask you. Because they never exactly told me..." Jimin starts then trails off, gaze avoiding Jungkook's. He looks extremely nervous and Jungkook has a feeling what he's about to ask, but wonders why he'd be so afraid of asking.
"Told you what?"
"How the accident happened."
"Oh."
That was the other thing Jungkook could never tell him.
Maybe the first couple of times they fight it's nothing, just another habit, another small action that would mean nothing more than a mere second passing through their infinity. Maybe it was even nice because it was endearing how Jimin would comfort him afterwards and make sure that he knew everything was fine, that he would always be there. That Jungkook would always be the only one. How their vast infinity was in no way comparable to the fleeting moments spent elsewhere.
But maybe it was the summation of small seconds that leads to infinity.
Somehow the small habits, the quirks, the meanings that at one point had meant the world, became the exact things that spurred the anger and annoyance.
Not the hatred, though. Never the hatred. It's funny how it never turns into hatred, but instead, it becomes the weapons that pierce through the heart. And despite how much he tried to convince himself, there was nothing that was able to make him hate Jimin.
It got to the point where he didn't even look forward to going home because that meant there'd probably be another fight or something; a million and one reasons to make his heart ache and his stomach feel heavy.
Jungkook remembers what happened that day to the very last detail, and it'd probably be ingrained in his mind forever—is that what a flashbulb memory was? He remembers that on the day of the accident, he had gotten off of work as usual and maybe he should've been happy about the fact that Jimin wouldn't be home until a bit later, but his mind was already drowning in the dread of yet another fight with his husband. Even in their last days together, it seemed like every little thing instigated some sort of dispute, always spiralling into the same conclusion that lay in the form of a stack of legal documents. Divorce papers.
Maybe he'd purposely left the spill on the stairs. Maybe he'd been petty and just wanted Jimin to complain about something else.
Maybe it seemed like the fights provided the only opportunity for the two to even see each other at all and remained the only sign that he hadn't lost Jimin completely yet.
But what he hadn't foreseen was that that very spill would cause a fall down the stairs, a concussion, and possible damage to some area of the brain that he overheard the doctors talk about—something that started with "hippo"; he hadn't known what that meant.
He hadn't known that this would take Jimin farther away from him than any argument would have.
Jungkook sighs, fidgeting with Jimin's fingers. "You slipped... I'm sorry I wasn't there with you."
"But you're here now." Somehow, Jimin doesn't persist with asking for any more details. But the smallest of smiles that appeared on his lips fills Jungkook's heart with hope.
***
"What?" Jungkook narrows his eyes at the sight of Jimin biting his bottom lip, expression looking like a blend between relief, excitement, and guilt...?
"Jungkook, I'm getting discharged tomorrow."
"Oh." His mind completely blanks for a second. Belatedly, he puts on a wide grin. "Oh. That's great! You finally get to leave this disgusting hospital food behind."
"Yeah," Jimin lets out quietly. There's the tiniest of smiles resting on his lips and he fiddles with his sheets again.
Jungkook stands at the door awkwardly, unsure of what to do now that his mind was reeling from the news. He hadn't planned this far at all. "Um, I'm just going to step outside for a second. Forgot something." He smiles. "Will be right back!"
He leaves before Jimin could say anything but that doesn't stop him from noticing the sad look on the man's face.
Then Jungkook walks straight into someone.
"Mfgh—"
"Sorry!" Then Jungkook realizes who it was. The all-black attire with pale blonde hair definitely wasn't something you would miss. "Wait, Yoongi?"
"Oh it's you." There's a frown on Yoongi's face. Naturally. "Are you done visiting him?"
"No—I just—"
But then Jungkook suddenly remembers something. Just before the accident, Jimin had gone back to his own apartment for a couple of nights to clean it and get ready to move back. Jungkook distinctly remembered him carrying that dreaded manila envelope as he walked out the door without looking back.
Which meant those divorce papers were probably still sitting in Jimin's apartment somewhere, already signed and ready to go.
So now he has to make sure that Jimin doesn't see them when he gets released from the hospital and went back to living there. Because he can't know.
And Yoongi, being almost like Jimin's older brother, was the one who happened to keep the keys this whole time.
"Yoongi..." he starts.
"What do you want?"
"Do you have the key to Jimin's old apartment?"
"Maybe." Yoongi narrows his eyes. "Why do you care?"
"Can I please borrow it for like a couple of hours?"
"No," he deadpans. "What are you even planning on doing?"
"I just—I want to help him clean it before he goes back."
"Stop lying, kid." A flat stare that seems to go through Jungkook's soul. "You're there for the papers, aren't you?" Yoongi pauses. "And maybe the ring too."
"Yoongi, please," Jungkook begs, voice pleading and already teetering off the edge of sounding desperate. "Just let me do this."
"Jungkook, you know you have no right going there." The older man responds, giving him a sharp glance.
And it was true. The place was Jimin's apartment from before and he'd kept it all these years as an investment, he claimed. But Jungkook couldn't just give up when he's already making some sort of progress. "I-I just need to make sure that he doesn't see them. Not until he's all better and recovers his memories or..." he hesitates, "wants to make a decision."
Yoongi sighs, tugging the short strands of his hair. "You're going to be pretty persistent about this, aren't you?"
"Yeah."
"Okay fine, but give it back right after."
Jungkook opens his mouth, ready for another plead or dispute because there was no way it'd be so easy. But he stops dead at Yoongi's words. "Thanks, you're the best."
He only gets a scoff in response but the ice in Yoongi's gaze is no longer there.
***
His hands are shaking as he takes multiple attempts at opening the door. He doesn't know what to expect but he mentally prepares himself for the worst. The papers must already be signed, stamped or whatever, maybe sealed. The settlements would be ready to go and Jungkook's stuff would be packed up in a box by the door, to be returned to him or thrown out or burned. Jimin would be ready to end this chapter of life and move onto the next.
But when Jungkook finally opens the door, he doesn't expect to see such a mess. There are clothes strewed across the room, stuff on the floor, and dirty dishes in the sink. Empty bottles. It was almost terrifying how different the place looked from when he'd last been there.
One thing was what he expected, though. The manila envelope holding the contents that would break them apart forever sits on the table, seemingly untouched. Jungkook picks it up, trying to quickly stuff it into his bag so he would never have to look at such a painful thing, but that's when he notices the small pieces of paper falling out of the envelope.
The papers had been ripped. Slashed. Broken apart into hundreds of pieces that floated towards the ground as he dumps the contents.
***
"Tae, I don't know if I can do this anymore." Jungkook sighs heavily, digging his fingers into his temples.
He'd been dreading the day that Jimin would get discharged from the hospital. Because if he was there, then at least Jungkook could ensure that he visited him every day, but now that he was back to his own apartment, there was no say in when Jungkook would see him next. Two days had passed without a trace of a message or text from Jimin, and it felt like he was slipping away forever. How was he ever supposed to make up for so much lost time? What about all the memories of the years they'd spent together?
Jungkook had wanted to reset, to somehow start everything over, but not like this. Not when all he could do was try to hold tightly onto the shattered pieces of Jimin's melodic laughter and bright smiles and soft touches that seem to slip through his grasp day by day. Late at night he'd sometimes find himself wishing that he'd be the one to lose all of this instead and be free from the past that was haunting him in the present.
"What?" Taehyung frowns at him. "But you still love him, and he loves you even more. You don't just give up on that, Jungkook."
"There's just no winning in this, Tae. Even if he does, what would that make of us? Are we even anything anymore?"
"Does it matter what you two are? You guys of all people should know that there's no need to stick on labels so fast." Taehyung pauses to give Jungkook a light shove. "Don't give up. Something good will come out of it." A smirk. "Besides, I didn't hook you guys up for nothing."
"Please don't mention that ever again." Jungkook shoves him back.
***
The deadline was tomorrow. The papers were all read through and the only thing left to do was sign his name on the final blank line on the last page.
He left it blank.
The papers stayed in the yellow envelope in his bag
***
Something good will come out of it.
Those words echo in Jungkook's mind as he stares at the message on his phone.
Jiminnie~<3: Cafe like old times, space hub?
For someone who lost his memories, Jimin sure has a very good memory of the things that Jungkook had told him over the past week.
Jungkook: Sure thing, hubble
They meet at the local cafe that they'd been frequenting ever since they were caffeine junkies in university. It's bright outside with the brilliant sunshine that had been hiding behind thick layers of clouds all winter, and Jungkook even decides to walk an extra block instead of driving. Mainly because he didn't think he could handle it if anything goes awry at their meeting.
The coffee shop is quiet and mostly empty, with only a couple of students taking up the tables at the sides with their laptops ready to work. Jimin greets him with a wave and a smile from where he sits at a small round table in the corner by the window overlooking the street. He could pretend that it was just like their college days, and that the hard thudding of his heart was from the nerves that came with liking someone—not this.
Not too far into their date, Jungkook could notice that Jimin seems oddly anxious today, only responding with shy smiles and soft chuckles or the occasional comment here and there. He isn't as teasing as he'd been earlier in the week and Jungkook knew that something was off, and it just made him more nervous than he already was. He could feel the adrenaline rushing through his body as he sat tensely, mind constantly spiralling into possibilities about the worst that could happen.
"There's something I wanted to tell you," Jimin starts, fingers playing with the strings of his hoodie.
"I'm listening." Jungkook stares intently, trying to carefully read the brunette's expressions as he'd done so many times in the past. It shouldn't be difficult, but he isn't sure if he could read him so easily anymore when this version of Jimin was different—
"I'm sorry."
"Wait, what?"
"For lying." Jimin lowers his gaze, biting into his lower lip. "Or well, it wasn't all lying but I guess I haven't been entirely truthful either."
"What are you talking about?" Jungkook's pulse accelerates, skipping nervously in his chest. His hands are sweaty and his stomach twists with each word coming out of Jimin's mouth.
"Jungkook." He puts his hands on the table. That's when Jungkook noticed it. The glimmering band that sits just at the base of his ring finger on his left hand, reflecting the ambient light in all directions.
Their wedding ring.
"Jungkook, I don't actually have retrograde amnesia."
"What?" He could only stare. "What do you mean... did you get your memories back? Or what, were you pretending this entire time?" It comes out sarcastic, rhetorical, but judging by the look on Jimin's face, he's dead on.
This is it. It would definitely end here, and the past week was just some sort of cruel goodbye that served as a cold reminder of what they once had. Jimin had never really forgotten and just wanted something to ease him from this rough period and—
"No! It was real for like the first couple of days; I really did lose my memories at the time. But then... everything just came back to me really quickly, as if they were never gone in the first place."Jimin frowns."Maybe it was just temporary—I don't really know either."
"Why didn't you tell me earlier then? I was worried out of my mind."
"Because, I-I—" He stops and heaves a sigh. "Because it was actually nice being like that for a while. It was like a flashback to when we first met, when we didn't have all these worries to deal with."
"Do you even know how hard it was?"
"I'm sorry, Jungkook. It was hard for me too—you don't know how much I just wanted to stop all of this," he purses his lips, dropping the volume of his voice. "It was already difficult enough trying to keep up with the pretending—I'm sure you noticed the discrepancies—and it hurt me to see you hurt like that. But Tae said to keep going because it was actually bringing us together again. And that's all I really wanted."
The ripped up divorce papers. The wedding ring. Thinking back, there was even the old nickname, "space hub", that he realized he couldn't have told Jimin about within the past week. It slowly started to add up in some strange, twisted way.
"What do you mean?"
"I never wanted it to end." Jimin's words come out slowly, eyes shifting slightly but never leaving Jungkook's gaze for too long. "Maybe we just needed a bit of space or some time to sort everything out, but I know that I would never really stop loving you."
"Jimin..."
"And I know this whole situation right now isn't even close to being a solution of any sort, but after recovering my memories, I realized what a huge chunk of my life had been missing, only because I had no memory of you and of us. Maybe we've both changed through the years but doesn't that give us more room to fall back together? To be able to keep improving together and supporting each other through all of these changes and constantly learn more about each other. I...guess you could say that fall was meant to happen because it literally made me fall for you again." He stops, fiddling with the ring on his finger, but when Jimin looks up again, his eyes were sincere, genuine. "So, maybe... do you think we can give this another chance?"
Jungkook doesn't trust himself to speak with how constricted his throat feels. "Jimin, you know I never wanted things to end either. You've been such a big part of my life already that I don't think I'd know how to live without you..." he pauses to clear his voice. "I can't believe I actually hoped you wouldn't recover your memories. So you wouldn't know about the things that led up to the accident, and then maybe there'd be some sort of alternate universe where there were only happy memories of the two of us. Like that would be a solution to our problems or something."
Jimin stays silent, nodding slowly.
"And then when the accident happened, I just—" A deep breath. "I lied to you and hid everything only because I was so afraid of losing you and I knew I would never forgive myself if anything happened. Even now... I'm so sorry, Jimin. For everything."
"Don't be." Jimin smiles softly, a bittersweet expression on his face. "What matters is that we're aware of this now, so we'll work harder to resolve any problems or misunderstandings, right?"
"Yeah." He's a little dizzy and the words fly over his head, but Jimin's smile grounds him and the light brush of their knees sends his stomach into a frenzy.
Jungkook wants to reach across the table and hold his hand or simply feel his touch to know that this was real. That it wasn't some sort of dream that he'd held onto for far too long and never ended well. But he decides against it, for the shimmer on Jimin's ring reminds him that his own is not on his finger, and hadn't been there since a long while before the accident. He'd placed it somewhere, telling everyone else that rings were dumb because they're just a harbouring ground for bacteria and another place to get an odd tan line, when his heart knew the truth all too well.
But to his astonishment, Jimin slowly gets out of his seat and goes to kneel down in front of Jungkook. A ring sits in his palm, the same silver band still as shiny as ever. It was his ring.
"Stay with me?"
And if this was like another proposal, Jungkook would've said that it was even better than the first one. There was none of the fancy dinner in suits, expensive views and romantic music in the background. There was no showing off cool tricks on ice, no crowd to witness them and applaud them in celebration. This was casual clothes, messy hair tossed by the wind, and a cheap caffeine fix that they'd gotten since the days they first met. This was typical cafe music, the sound of clicking laptop keyboards as businessmen worked and students crammed, and the stillness of no one caring what was going on in the outside world.
This was them. True, and in its rawest form.
And staying true to himself, Jungkook brings back a memory from the first time."Of course. I'll still be your wife, Jimin."
Jimin slips the ring on his finger, bursting out in laughter. "Even when you're old and wrinkly and not hot as hell anymore?"
"Yah, I'll still be hot even when I'm--"
And then his heart was racing, cheeks heating, and palms all sweaty just like the first time when Jimin closes the distance.
Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut and drowns in the sinking warmth pulling him under as his lips slide so perfectly between Jimin's and there's so much pressure in his chest that he feels like it would explode. A million sparks and a thousand tingling flames spreading and overwhelming him until the pain and yearning simultaneously numbs and becomes so salient he can't breathe. There's too much and never enough. A sweet lingering taste of mocha that can't quite mask Jimin's natural scent and Jungkook takes it all in eagerly, trying to piece back each broken piece of the shattered memories. Fingers run through soft hair and knees bump and Jungkook's hands shake with the multitude of sensations. And what words cannot say is shown in the clarity of Jimin's gentle touches and suddenly the void was being stitched back together, piece by piece, time turning back and a reaction reversing, and the run of infinity looping back to the beginning.
Reset. It's what he had wanted.
"You don't know how long I've been waiting to do that," Jimin says breathlessly, caressing Jungkook's cheek.
"I would've done it back at the hospital but we were still strangers." He couldn't even pout, still staring at his husband's face, unable to look away.
"Ah, we shouldn't even be doing that here..." Jimin's cheeks visibly redden as he slides back into his seat. Never letting go of Jungkook's hand."We have plenty of time."
"Yeah," he manages to get out, still feeling lightheaded.
"Also, I was just slightly disappointed you didn't tell me we were married. Or, I don't know, you could've told a more interesting story. Like, boyfriends? Really, Jungkook?"
"What kind of interesting story did you want?" Jungkook raises an eyebrow. "I'm a vampire who accidentally turned you and now you're waking up as one? Or maybe you were in an experiment and had your body frozen all of these years and so you're waking up in another century and I'm the hero saving you?"
Jimin laughs fully, leaning back in his chair. "I was thinking more like we were in some crazy love triangle but after my memories were wiped, I'd forgotten about my crush and you got your chance at wooing me."
"Hey! Are you trying to suggest there's someone else right now?"
There's a teasing smile and a playful twinkle in Jimin's eyes. "No. You know there's only you. And even if it was some drama-like alternate universe, I'd still fall for you every time."
"You're the one who thought we were hooking up," Jungkook scoffs jokingly. "I know I'm hot and all, but I'm not the playboy who didn't believe in love."
"Oh stop, you're going to make me regret this," Jimin grins.
And then falling back together became as easy as it'd been falling for each other in the first place.