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“Should ooooooold… ah… uh--”
“Acquaintance, Ed.”
“--acquaintance… beeeeee furrrrgot… and neeeeever right on tiiiiiiiime--”
“Close enough.”
Roy guided the inebriated young man into the house and nudged the door shut behind him. Ed went right on butchering the hell out of a time-honored classic as Roy led him to the couch and unceremoniously pushed him onto it before taking a seat beside him. While he wasn’t exactly sober himself, he was feeling downright intelligent next to the sputtering and blabbering pile of drunkenness that was his young lover.
“We’ll driiiiiink and touch my hiney pet--”
“Hiney pet?”
“-- for ooooooold laaaaaangziiiiiiine!”
And with that, Ed closed his eyes. Mere moments later, the not so gentle sound of snoring filled the air. Roy gaped at the pitiful sight and took a long, deep breath. So much for getting some tonight.
“Oh well.” The older man draped his arm around the sleeping teen and pulled him close, planting a kiss on his forehead for good measure. “Happy New Year, Ed,” he said softly.
“… not drinnngin that fuggin milk asshole…”
Smiling at the nonsensical sleep-talk, Roy kicked off his shoes and brought his head to rest on top of Ed’s, then sighed again as he reveled in their awkward, upright cuddling. This wasn't how he had anticipated ending the night, but it really wasn't all that bad either...
… or so he thought before Ed woke up just long enough to throw up all over him.
Happy New Year, indeed.