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"It's okay little Firefly."
Peace. Ezra had felt it before, he had sought it constantly. And he had found glimpses of it every now and again. But this was real peace. For the first time in forever there was no pain, no guilt, no sadness. Just peace.
The Force flowed all around him. Everything in place. There was balance. There was calm. And Ezra smiled.
Ezra felt him before he saw anything. Such a familiar presence he hadn’t felt so strong in years.
Looking up, he saw a proud smile on his mouth.
There were no tears here. But if he could cry, Ezra knew he would have. For he hadn’t seen his mentor in so long. He had lost him so many years ago. There were so many times he had wondered if Kanan would’ve been proud of him. So many moments when he looked to the stars and wondered if his surrogate father was watching over him in that moment.
“You did good, Ezra.”
Just a few words, but they meant everything. Ezra flung himself at Kanan.
It wasn’t solid. No, it wasn’t quite the same as in reality. It was better. Emotions were more transparent here. He could feel the pride, the love, the peace. He was home again.
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This couldn’t be real. Ezra couldn’t be dead. He just couldn’t. Mira told herself this again and again. He would walk back into the room, a silly smile on his face. And he would hug her and then hug Sabine and it would be okay. But every time she told herself this, Mira felt the emptiness around her. The hole he had left in the Force. He was gone. There was no miracle, no coming home. And each time reality dawned on Mira, she would break. She couldn’t hold back her tears. Her legs buckled and she slid to the floor.
“Dad-” her voice cracked and sobs escaped her. “Dad come home…please…”
The voice he left surrounded her. She was empty. Lost. And broken. Her dad was gone. Nothing could ease the pain in her chest, the tears falling down her cheeks.
Nothing would ever be the same again.
Little did she know that her father was watching her. Sitting in front of her, resting an unfelt hand on her shoulder.
“It’s okay little Firefly,” he whispered. “We’ll see each other again.”
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Mira hadn’t felt his presence in so long. But as soon as she felt it, she knew it was him. Looking up she saw her dad, as young as the day he had died. A smile played on his face as he walked up to her. He opened his mouth to speak, but Mira’s body slammed into him before any words came out. All the pain, all the loss, all the days Mira had talked to him, had pretended he was there just to get through the day. It all washed over her and flowed into the Force. It ran and ran until all that was left was calm.
“I’m so proud of you, Mira.” Ezra’s voice was quiet, calm, happy.
“Dad…” she whispered quietly. She had forgotten the sound of his voice. Holos always sounded garbled, not quite him. But this, this was him.
“I’m here Firefly,” he said, then lifted her chin and smiled down at her. “And you’re here, and nothing will ever separate us again.”
"Unseen, Unheard"
Sabine didn’t need the Force to know how much Mira was hurting. She hadn’t seen her daughter smile in days, aside from the fading smile of a long ago memory that quickly faded and turned into tears. All Sabine wanted to do was make it all better. She wanted to hear Mira’s laugh, to see her rolling her eyes at Ezra’s silly jokes. But she couldn’t. Ezra was gone, and there was no bringing him back.
The reality was one Sabine hated. One she had to face every day. Waking up to an empty bed, to a home that felt so wrong. But she tried to make it feel right for Mira. Sabine tried so hard, every day, to bring some joy back into the ship. Only to fall into her bed at the end of every day and feel the vast hole Ezra had left.
And as she stared at Mira, finally asleep in her bed, tears still drying on her cheeks, Sabine felt her determination deflate once more. She stayed strong for Mira, but when she was asleep, Sabine was left to walk the halls alone. Her mind played tricks on her. She could still hear Ezra’s laugh echoing in her ears, could still feel his arms wrap around her from behind as he surprised her with a hug. But then she would open her eyes. And she was alone.
It hit her once again. The fact that he was gone, that she would never see him again. The pain was too much to bear. The tears she had been trying to hold back broke, one silent tear, then another, until they were falling down. Despair weighed on her chest until it she couldn’t hold back the sobs. They wracked her whole body, shaking every part of her being. Ezra was gone. And she would never be whole again.
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Ezra watched silently as Sabine cried. He couldn’t call out to her, couldn’t comfort her in anyway. One day Mira might be able to sense his presence, but Sabine never would. It was a cruel fate for her - the woman he loved.
Reaching out, Ezra placed an unfeeling hand on her shoulder, he reached out to brush away her tears, but they continued to fall.
“I’m right here Bean,” he whispered, wishing she could see him, could feel him. But the Force didn’t work that way. Still, he tried. He tried to hug her, tried to let her know he was there, he would be watching over her, he would be with her even if she could never see him.
“I’ll always be here with you, Sabine. I promise.” He whispered, stroking her hair with fingers that would never again touch reality.
Leaning over, he kissed her forehead. A kiss should would never feel. “I love you. I always will,” he said, in a voice that would never reach her ears. Then he sat down next to her. Wishing he could do more, but his time was up. He couldn’t go back. But he could stay with her. Even if she never knew it, he would be with her. And so he stayed, watching as she cried and sobbed, until sleep overcame her weary body.
“Sleep well love,” he whispered, smiling as he remembered how she had teased him about using Hera’s pet name for Kanan, but she had never objected. And he watched as she rested. So proud of her, of how strong she was, how she pressed onward. “I was so lucky to have you in my life…thank you Sabine…”