Work Text:
“This is Helena’s phone.” [silence] “What do you mean I have to say something else.” [silence] “Leave message.”
“Hey, Helena, it’s Sarah – you already knew – yeah, anyways, you had to hang up earlier, thought we could catch up? You’re having twins, yeah? That’s – that’s huge. You want to talk about it?”
--
“This is Helena’s phone.” [silence] “What do you mean I have to say something else.” [silence] “Leave message.”
“Got your text – what do you mean, don’t worry? You know I worry. Where are you, anyway? Everything alright with Alis—oh, shit, I gotta go—”
--
“This is Helena’s phone.” [silence] “What do you mean I have to say something else.” [silence] “Leave message.”
[silence] “Hey.” [silence] “You’ve been missing out on a lot.” [silence] “Kira says h—” [rustling] “Auntie Helena? You should probably come home soon, mom needs—” [rustling] “Sorry about that. It’s fine. Felix found his bio sister, did you know that? Turns out you ‘n me aren’t the only—”
[rustling]
[vague murmuring]
[sniffling] “Anyway, yeah, I miss you. Uh, a lot, actually. Sorry I dumped you on the Hendrixes, I – you know.” [silence] “Hope you’re alright out there. I – I know you are, ‘cause you always are, but still. Charge your bloody phone every once in a while, yeah?”
[silence]
--
“This is Helena’s phone.” [silence] “What do you mean I have to say something else.” [silence] “Leave message.”
[silence]
--
“This is Helena’s phone.” [silence] “What do you mean I have to say something else.” [silence] “Leave message.”
[sniffling] “Everything’s gone to shit. Please tell me you’re okay out there, I need – I need one person to be okay, Helena, I keep – it’s all my fault, I – Kendall is dead, Helena, she got shot, she’s dead—”
[sobbing]
“Don’t – you stay safe out there, alright? But please – come on, just text me? Or something? Helena?”
--
“This is Helena’s phone.” [silence] “What do you mean I have to say something else.” [silence] “Leave message.”
[laughter] “Hey, Helena, Helena, hey – you’re dead, huh? You wentand bloody died out there, yeah? I keep – Beth says hey. Bet you two know each other, huh, youcankeep talkin’ about how I fucked you both over, took everything—”
[clattering]
“Shit—”
“I’m gonna – I’m gonna go see Beth now, okay? You should come say hey before I go. Miss you. Beth’s been around all bloody night, want to see you too before I—”
[sniffling]
“Gonna – get – you had the right idea, huh? Got up and left, didn’t even takeabloodytrain, you just – got right out, got your bloody backpack and went off to die somewhere, why can’t I be that brave huh? Why can’t I just – figure out that all this shit would be better if I wasn’t around—”
[clattering]
“Making everything shit—”
[clattering]
“Hurting everybody—”
[sniffling]
“And Beth keeps – hanging around, Helena, where’re you, why didn’t you just put a bloody bullet in her head, or a bullet in mine, come – come find me, you can do it now, otherwise I’m just gonna – I’m gonna—”
[silence]
“It’s so cold.”
[silence]
“It’s so cold.”
--
“This is Helena’s phone.” [silence] “What do you mean I have to say something else.” [silence] “Leave message.”
“Hey.”
[silence]
“Sorry about last night. I was – drunk. Actually, sorry about all these bloody messages, you’re probably just deleting ‘em. You’ve got every right to. Seems like you and Alison was a bad fit, yeah? Sorry about that. My fault.”
[silence]
[laughter] “Gonna be pretty shitty if it turns out you don’t even know how to work this phone and all these messages are just pilin’ up and you don’t even—”
[silence]
“Do me a favor? Be alive for me, alright? You can – hate me, or hate all of us, or not answer your phone, that’s fine, but don’t be dead. Really need you to not be dead.”
--
“This is Helena’s phone.” [silence] “What do you mean I have to say something else.” [silence] “Leave message.”
“Duko died. You don’t even know who he is, but S shot ‘im. Blood everywhere. I keep thinking – bet you would have tried to help, if you’d been here. Duko and Ferdinand and Evie Cho, bet if you were here you’d be gettin’ out your gun and I’d be trying to stop you again.” [silence] “Keep gettin’ bloody – nostalgic. Old times and shit.” [silence] “I meant it, you know. Everything I said back then. You’re my sister. Y’know. In case you were wondering. I meant it.”
[silence]
“There’s blood all over Scotty’s comics ‘n he’s pissed. You know how to clean blood off things?”
--
“This is Helena’s phone.” [silence] “What do you mean I have to say something else.” [silence] “Leave message.”
“Sorta unfair that Rachel came back and you didn’t. Bloody Rachel. Stupid bloody Rachel. You would not believe the shit I have to do, Helena.” [distant thumps] “Had to give up Cosima for this.” [silence] “And Alison’s husband – never mind. You wouldn’t believe it.”
“Decided you’re alive, by the way. I can’t deal with you being dead. Congrats on comin’ back to the world of the living. I hope you’re alright out there.” [silence] “Can I tell you something? Sometimes I just – imagine that you’re out there somewhere, doing ridiculous shit, and it makes me feel better about all this. You’re – winning an eating contest, or some shite. I never believe anything you do. And I know you’re still doing it. You’re not dead. Someday you’re gonna come back and you’re gonna laugh at me for all these stupid bloody messages I keep leaving on your stupid bloody phone and you’ll say oh, sestra, how did you ever survive without me, and I’ll say—”
[silence]
“Actually, you know what? Why don’t you do me a favor and pretend you never listened to any of these. We’ll all be better off.”
[silence]
[silence]
[silence]
“You’ve stopped listening now, right?”
[silence]
[silence]
“Come home soon.”
--
“Helena?”
“Hello, sestra.”
“Hey, what – we’ve been worried about you, why haven’t you answered your clone phone?”
“I think ringing is broken.”
“Okay.”