Work Text:
Rin held no grudges against winter, but there was one thing about the season that never failed to knot his stomach. His memory lighted on the single time he visited Haru during one of his vacations home, and even now Rin’s heart beat faster upon the realization of just how much he had wanted to see Haru again, even back then. He had taken the train to Iwatobi early one morning without his mother knowing, had rushed down the street so quickly on his tiny feet that the tan plaid scarf had nearly flown off his neck halfway down the hill to Haru’s old house, had felt such great joy in his childish heart at his first sight of Haru on the street.
Then he had lost. He had pitched a great, raging fit and ruined whatever had possibly been forming between himself and a much younger Haruka.
When he had returned to Japan to attend Samezuka High School, Haru had been different. The chill of fall as it dissolved into winter had been just as cold as the gaze of Haru’s icy blue eyes on the rare occasion that they made an effort to meet Rin’s at all. The past haunted both of them and painted the ghosts of painful memories in their eyes, turned their voices and words into things of harshness because Haru was broken and Rin had lost focus of what was once beautiful.
That first winter had been so full of pain from heartstrings pulled too tight, long nights of spiraling dreams and useless comfort from a too-innocent though well-meaning roommate. It was a time that Rin tried hard to forget. Haru had looked so empty, then, lifeless and tragically free of passion. Rin would learn later from Makoto that a bathtub had been Haru’s only solace when the ocean had been too cold for a passion as heated as Haru’s to utilize.
Winter had all too quickly become a time of heartbreak.
Those remembrances of a time past meant less now, ever since Rin’s and Haru’s lives had changed.
Rin pushed the ugly thoughts from his mind and lessened the distance between himself and Haru on the booth of a comfortable coffee shop, throwing a strong arm over Haru’s shoulders and, for a moment, letting his head fall into the crevice between Haru’s shoulder and neck. Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei were there, too, seated on a chair pulled up to the table and the booth opposite Rin and Haru. There were only a few days until Christmas, and an ever-eager Nagisa had called everyone much too early in the morning so that they could all take a train into the city for Christmas shopping.
Rin had been quick to agree on the condition that Haru came as well, Makoto rarely turned down an invitation from Nagisa, and Rei had likely been forced into the whole ordeal—so there they were, exhausted and rosy-cheeked, with an assortment of bags at their feet containing their spoils. There was some discussion about where the group would go next, but Rin was somewhat determined, driven by a sudden desire, to manipulate his friends into leaving him and Haru alone.
“That’s no fun, Rin,” Nagisa whined at the suggestion that they split up.
“And why’s that, huh?” Rin made no attempt to hide his annoyance. It would be perfectly fun for him, after all, and Haru, too. Nagisa was only jealous because Rei hadn’t returned his affections yet.
Makoto chuckled and waved his hand in dismissal while Rei feverishly attempted to deny the bite of peppermint cheesecake Nagisa was all but shoving into his mouth. “Let them go, Nagisa. We’ll meet up again later for the train home and it’ll be fine,” Makoto said.
Forever the most talented multi-tasker—if talented was really the right word, Rin mused to himself—Nagisa just barely managed to shove the dessert into Rei’s unwilling mouth. “Yeah, just ‘cause they’re too shy be all ooey-gooey in front of us they think they can get away by themselves somewhere—You guys aren’t hiding anything.“
“As if you’re any better at hiding it?” Rin accused, lifting his eyebrow at the flustered look on Rei’s face as Nagisa wiped a dab of whipped cream from the corner of Rei’s lips and plopped it into his mouth. Rin grabbed Haru’s hand under the table and squeezed the long fingers tightly, using just enough pressure to convey his annoyance with Haru’s friends.
Haru moved his head then, as if waking from a trance, and rested his lazy cerulean gaze on Rin. “Chill out, Rin.” He lifted the hand not captured by Rin’s and pointed outside. “It’s snowing.”
Immediately, Nagisa and Rei pressed their noses against the window and waited with bated breath until they witnessed the first drop of a snowflake for themselves. Upon seeing the gentle descent of white, they withdrew from the glass as quickly as they had crowded it to rush outside and play in the snow themselves, leaving nothing but window smudges and three amused upperclassmen in their wake. Makoto chuckled and eyed Haru and Rin with some mischief, then said, “I guess someone has to keep an eye on the children,” as he rose from the booth and gulped down the last swig of hot chocolate from his cup. “Text me, later!” He waved his phone in front of him and smiled before joining Rei and Nagisa outside.
Finally, Rin and Haru were alone.
To Rin’s great delight, Haru took some initiative for the first time that day and wrapped his arms around Rin’s bicep, pulling himself closer and filling Rin’s heart with warmth. Rin indulged in a deep breath of Haru’s shampoo as he nuzzled into the smooth, dark hair before propping his chin atop Haru’s head.
“You’ll have to thank Makoto for me later,” Rin murmured.
“Thank him yourself.”
Rin blinked. “Well, he’s your friend more than mine.”
“You still feel weird talking to him?” Haru turned his head to look up at Rin, who was staring down at him with that loneliness in his eyes he always tried so hard to hide in public. It was easier, Rin thought, to let his true feelings shine through around Haru. His expressions, his tone, his attitude—everything was different when it was just the two of them. If Nagisa, Rei, or Makoto could see him now, they would certainly wonder if it was the same Rin they knew who now clung so tightly to Haru with a frown tugging downwards at his lips.
Rin shrugged. “Yeah, I mean, I barely know them still. It’s weird. And they probably don’t like me.”
Rin felt Haru sigh deeply against him and chided himself. They had held this conversation before, and it was the same every time.
“I’ll drop it, sorry.”
Haru huffed out a sigh again, smaller, and then Rin felt warm breath against his ear and a chaste kiss pressed to the corner of his jawbone. “They like you. You’re not an intruder. Nagisa called you this morning, too, didn’t he?”
It was hard to forget the loud, cheery voice that had come on the other line of Rin’s phone so fast that he hadn’t even had time to mutter out a tired, “Hello.”
“Yeah, he did. But that’s Nagisa. He likes everyone.”
Haru lifted his index finger to cover Rin’s lips in a gesture meant to bring silence. “Finish your drink.”
There I go again, Rin thought, disgusted with himself. All I do is pitch selfish fits and worry him. Was that irritation lying dormant in Haru’s eyes, or was he really just ready to get out of the coffee shop?
“I didn’t upset you, did—“
Short and sweet, the kiss that graced Rin’s lips was all the comfort he needed. He grinned wider than he had all day and relished the light, jittery feeling in the pit of his stomach even as he finished his cocoa and made sure that Haru’s scarf was wrapped tightly around his neck.
When they snuck outside, hand in hand, they made sure to leave from the back entrance to smoothly escape the others who were still goofing off not far from the shop’s front doors. It wasn’t a big deal, Rin thought as he and Haru shuffled away and stifled their own giggles. It wasn’t a big deal at all to separate themselves from their friends for a couple of hours. But somehow, and maybe it was just the way that Haru made Rin’s heart beat so fast, it felt like he and Haru were playing a forbidden game as they skipped away down the snow-dusted sidewalk.
“Where to, huh?”
Haru cautiously lifted one eyebrow. “You mean you didn’t have a plan?”
When Rin smiled and shook his head, a few fluffy snowflakes drifted from the home they had made in his crimson hair. He felt his heart beat against his chest and the familiar thump of blood rushing in his ears upon seeing Haru’s blush-dusted cheeks and the way his breath clouded in front of his face with every puff from rosy, chapped lips. “Something inside?” Rin offered with a shrug. “You look cold.”
Rin could tell that Haru tried not to smile when he retorted, “Yeah, you think?”
Linking his arm through Haru’s and dragging him along, Rin’s grin only grew wider. It was rare for Haru to make jokes, so even his dry humor lifted Rin’s spirits and helped him forget the rough winter they had suffered as children. That was behind them, Rin insisted silently in one of many numerous attempts to reassure himself.
Rin remembered just the perfect place for him and Haru to escape to, separated enough from the hustle and bustle of the city that he and Haru could relax, safe from the great, heavy, falling clumps of snow and protected from the wandering eyes of holiday shoppers. There was a hotel, an extravagant hotel Rin had stayed at for a national tournament. He and the other Samezuka boys had made for the pool to let themselves float in the water while their minds drifted away, allowing the same push and pull of the liquid which had brought them victory to also grant them rest and relaxation from their respective races. There had been an indoor pool, heated and perfect for their lazy whims, but on the roof of the hotel lay another treasure which had been closed for the winter. Much grander than the one indoors, the pool perched atop the hotel’s roof like a crown had been nothing short of magnificent. It wound intricately around a wooden deck which bridged over one part of the pool, while another section of the shallow water led to a more secret area indoors, which would have been complete with a Jacuzzi and working mini bar had the pool been open for business. Rin remembered peering inside towards the Jacuzzi, where a small portion of the outdoor pool lie still beneath the roof in seclusion, and he knew that this was where he wanted to take Haru.
He linked his arm through Haru’s and pulled up his own scarf, somewhat muffling his voice when he said, “I know just the place.”
They rushed through the cold arm in arm, feet kicking at the clumps of snow that stuck to the sidewalk. “Where are we going, Rin? How far is it?”
“Not far. Trust me.”
As he guided his lover into the monstrous hotel lobby, full of tiled floors and a ceiling so high it could reach to heaven itself, Rin couldn’t help but notice the way Haru lifted an eyebrow. “This isn’t necessary, really—we don’t have to—“
Rin cocked his head slowly to one side. He didn’t immediately understand Haru’s stammering, but the realization hit him so suddenly that his cheeks and the tips of his ears darkened to a crimson almost as dark as his hair. He waved his gloved hands frantically in front of him. “No, no, no, there’s just a pool upstairs and—“
“You have your swimsuit?”
“We’re not going swimming,” Rin sighed, exasperated. He pulled Haru’s hand towards one of the elevators in the lobby. “Just wait, and you’ll see.”
Rin ignored the way that Haru shook his head, because while his lips remained flat in an unamused grimace, the boy’s azure eyes smiled brightly enough for Rin to know Haru’s hidden excitement.
They found themselves crammed into the back corner of the elevator amongst other patrons of the hotel, most of whom were decidedly older and more wealthy, and remained relatively unnoticed as the crowd trickled off at various floors until Rin and Haru were left alone to ascend to the roof. It was Rin who took initiative this time, cupping Haru’s cheek in his palm and turning him to plant a kiss flush on Haru’s lips the moment that they were alone. He felt Haru’s mouth move against his, warm and pliable, but made himself withdraw when the elevator bell notified them of their arrival.
Rin worked from memory as he led Haru down the hallway to the destination he had planned, and when they arrived at the roofed area of the indoor pool, not a soul was in sight. The lights remained off so that the reflection of the water, only barely moving from the light breeze which snuck in from portion of the pool outdoors, danced on the ceiling above the couple and served as their only audience when Rin took Haru’s face in both of his hands and finally kissed him with all the pent-up passion he had been saving for the afternoon.
Haru moved with him, sighing into Rin’s mouth and making no move to protest when Rin slid his tongue between Haru’s teeth. There was no danger of being caught up there, no danger of anything at all except maybe falling into a pool much too cold to swim in.
Rin found himself pressed against the far corner of the wall in an unexpected display of strength from Haru and couldn’t hide his excitement as he traced Haru’s cheekbones with his fingertips.
“You don’t mind this?” Haru ventured quietly.
Rin shook his head and loosened Haru’s scarf from around his neck until it hung limp around his neck and made available Haru’s pale throat for Rin to tease with his lips and tongue. Their movements were slow, intricate, fast, and greedy all at once somehow, but Rin supposed that such strange combinations were the unexplained products of love.
Haru followed suit even as Rin trailed open-mouthed kisses down the sensitive skin of his neck, freeing Rin from his own scarf so that he could return the favor.
And with every ghost of Haru’s lips on his neck, with every sweet press of Haru’s mouth to his own willing lips, Rin found himself pulled out of the depths of self-doubt and fear that he had lost himself in, closer and closer to the waiting surface. One by one, his insecurities dissolved away, forever lost in the ocean that surrounded him. There was a distant glimmer of light, just out of reach above the surface of the water that he was only a few inches from breaching. He knew that he could feel the warmth of the sun again if he reached, stretched out his fingertips towards the heavens—
That cleansing, life-saving breath of oxygen came with the rush of words that left Haru’s mouth, “I love you, Rin,” and the returned declaration of affection that poured from Rin’s kiss-swollen lips.
“I love you, too.”