Work Text:
“Hah! How gay could you get, loser?!”
Well… It was going to cost him a hundred and sixty bucks, but it would be worth it. If that was the price for the most awesome coming out ever, then Michael would gladly pay the price. Three sweaters for thirty dollars each, a pair of rainbow socks for ten, a pride hat for another ten, white heelys and paint for thirty, a flag for fifteen, a patch for five dollars, and a megaphone he stole from a garage sale. They were to be released in phases. He would slowly reveal to the world, or at least the school, just how gay he could be.
It had started with the patch: a little pride flag. It was subtle, simple, and almost went completely unnoticed. No one really took note of the accessory except for Jeremy.
“Hey, is that a new patch?” he had asked.
“Yup.”
“Hm. Cool.”
And that was the end of day one.
The following morning, Michael sported a snapback with a rainbow bill and PRIDE written across the front. He wore shorts to display his rainbow knee high socks. These got a more noticable amount of attention. Eyes followed him as he strolled through the hall. He knew that there would be rumors, but it made him feel good knowing that he was in control of them. People went up to him asking if he knew what the word pride meant. To which, he casually replied, “Yup.” and would heelie away to the sound of whispers. Of course, some clueless people just said they liked his socks, but tomorrow was when his plan would really be in motion.
And Jeremy. Poor Jeremy. He just seemed so confused.
During lunch, he looked him up and down. He tried to sound nonchalant by chuckling, but it was hard to shake the awkwardness as he questioned him. “Um… I, uh… I don’t want to sound offensive or anything but what’s with all the pride stuff?”
There were so many ways to answer that question. He could tell the truth, lie about it, or just flat out ignore it. All of them sounded really questionable. If he flat out told them he was gay, then that would take all the fun out of Friday. His coming out was supposed to be a sort of surprise-but-not-really surprise. Lying would just be weird, and ignoring it wasn’t a permanent solution. Then again though, it didn't need to be permanent. Three days. That’s all he had to do.
“It’s uh, Pride month?... at least that’s what I heard. When I was on the internet. Yeah. I like saw these socks at the mall over the weekend, and I was just like, ‘Damn. What a good thing to represent.’ And I bought them.” he said. His face was flushed, and he could feel his palms getting sweaty. He refused to look his companion in the eye. In the brief moments he did make eye contact though, he could tell Jeremy wasn’t buying it. He could see in the way his eyebrows would raise ever so slightly, and the right corner of his mouth would twitch. Michael didn’t care if he believed him or not; he just didn't want any questions.
Jeremy just sighed. “Alright bro.” At that, Michael released a breath he didn't know he was holding. He rarely lied to his best friend; that felt like dodging a bullet. Turns out though, he didn’t dodge it so well. The metaphorical bullet seemed to graze him. His friend grabbed his hand from across the table. He was droning on about their friendship, but Michael had tuned out mostly. The contact was distracting; it felt nice. He absentmindedly fiddled with his fingers, ran his thumbs over the callouses on his palms. Jeremy could learn to play piano if he wanted to. He had a pianist's hands. Michael smiled at that. No, instead of playing soft music, he killed zombies. Looking up, he tried to focus back in. He caught on at a good time. Jeremy had tone of finality as he said, “Hey. I’m your… I’m your friend no matter what, okay? No matter what. If you have something to tell me, I’m here.”
Michael snickered at the unintentional pun. Those always amused him far more than they should have.
“Dude. I’m trying to be sincere.” As he spoke, he pulled his hand away. Suddenly, Michael regretted laughing at that. His palms felt cool without Jeremy’s touch.
Day two wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t ruin anything. He would have to tread lightly on day three.
This day, he shed the red jacket and t-shirt for a sweater. On the front in rainbow colored comic sans, it read, “Sounds gay, I’m in.” He kept the socks as well as the hat. Maybe the day would be more eventful; he was actually introducing the word “gay” in the ensemble. Now, he couldn’t deny it. The gay was almost too strong. Michael didn’t want to ruin Friday’s surprise, though. To try and preserve it, he spent the entire day trying to avoid everyone. That included Jeremy. He was the one it affected the most. It was pretty apparent that he had a vague idea of what was happening, but if it got confirmed, then he might have to explain who he was gay for. And while he may have planned his coming out, he hadn’t prepared any sort of love confession. At least not anytime soon.
Michael already had enough on his hands trying to avoid everyone anyway. Yesterday drew people’s attention to him and adding to the look just made him harder to ignore. It’s ironic that the only time he wanted to be ignored, everyone had their eyes on him. People kept trying to stop him to read his shirt; after reading it, they gave him strange looks. He couldn’t quite think of a proper response to that, so he would just try and shimmy out of their way to avoid any interrogation. The worst part of the day though was avoiding Jeremy. His best friend followed him through the halls trying to catch his eye. Conflicted, Michael shoved on his headphones, but played nothing. He had to hear Jeremy. It still hurt his heart though when he turned a corner and saw his four year crush in the corner of his eye. His shoulders sagged lower than a school douchebags’ pants, his eyes were more downcast than his self-esteem, and he walked slower than his reaction time while he was high. Michael’s heart almost completely shattered when he saw Jeremy turn away. He had stopped trying to catch up to him.
Unable to handle the guilt, he immediately took out his phone and texted him an update.
Dude im sorry i swear i have a reason for this i DONT hate you i like have this plan for this thing that like…… i THINK you have figured out so just trust me please
Everything will be like 95% clear tomorrow!!!!!
Michael swelled in anticipation as he watched the message go from delivered to read. He held his breath as he hoped for the fabled three dots. He nearly screamed when they appeared.
Um… Bro, why can’t you tell me about it right now?
its really personal….. and if i tell you now it wont be as cool. this is like a weird public service announcement about me??
Yeah. Whatever dude
He groaned and banged his head on the wall. Damnit. Jeremy didn't punctuate the sentence properly. His best friend always used proper grammar while texting. He didn’t get it, and now he was offended. Fan-fucking-tastic. As much as it pained him to continue this plan, he had to follow through. He didn’t drop one hundred and sixty bucks for nothing.
Day three: Pretty sucky. This called for a revision of plans. Michael considered utilizing the megaphone. Originally, it was meant to be saved for Friday. He would ride through the hallways in his rainbow painted heelies and tell the world he was gay. Could his friendship with Jeremy hold that long? Michael was a pretty forgiving person himself; he was only mad for a single hour after the Squip incident. Jeremy on the other hand was a little less merciful. It took him two weeks to warm up to Jake and a month for Rich. He didn’t cope well with aggression, and he would probably do worse with this strange betrayal. They never kept secrets and that was final.
Michael had to clear everything up on day four then. He would bust out that megaphone and make his way down those halls with pride. Everything would be fine then. Jeremy wouldn’t be mad, people would stop asking questions, and Michael would be free of this weight on his shoulders. The new strategy was to simple: wear all his gay themed things on Thursday; the message would be clear. He’d be free. That morning, he looked into the mirror and took in a deep breath. The rumors would be true. People would be reacting. Although, everyone probably already knew. He bounced up and down trying to expel some energy. This was the day.
His old PT cruiser rattled as he rolled into the parking lot. Taking a moment to mentally prepare himself, he rested his head on the wheel for a brief moment. Briefly, he wondered what Jeremy would think. He supposed he wouldn't really care. He never seemed the type to judge for such a thing. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder what he may say. Shaking away the thought, he stepped out of the car. The sun’s rays heated up the surface of his already warm rainbow sweater. His socks, freshly washed, were now accompanied by a pair of new white heelys; the rubber sole was also painted with a rainbow. Originally, Michael had wanted to paint the entire shoe, but he decided against it for the sake of style.
Trying to overcome his nerves, he forced on a smile as he grabbed his bag from the trunk. Attached to the straps was a flag. As much as he would have loved to hold it over his shoulders, he needed his hands free to use the megaphone. That was the fun part. Once he entered the halls, the little device was turned on. He stood at the beginning of the hall and surveyed the area. Fellow students wandered the halls. Others stood in congregations in various spots in front of classrooms. They all chatted about the usual high school nothings. Michael noticed though that some took note of his presence, not that he was surprised. He’s been building suspicion over the past few days. It was impossible to miss the stolen glances as he walked through the hallway. He chuckled to himself though. They were about to become a lot more than small peeks over shoulders, or quick looks between classes.
Michael clicked the button to project his voice as he began to roll through the halls. “PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT,” he shouted, “I AM GAY. PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. I AM GAY.” The hall immediately went dead silent. People parted like the Red Sea. Everyone was staring as he leisurely passed by. Half of him expected loud yells of “Gaaaaaay!” but he knew it wouldn't happen. It would be funny if he were a victim; if he did it willingly, there was no fun in it. So, he continued to wander the halls until eventually, an old teacher had stepped out of her classroom and asked him to be quiet. Apparently, they had a zero period or something. Whatever.
His biggest concern was Jeremy’s reaction, really. He had been holding in his feelings for so long. He could only hope this would be enough to get the message across. All those years of pining, and longing for someone he desperately wanted but could not have. There was always something stopping him. Some girl, some internal issue. Jeremy never seemed ready. At least, that’s what Michael told himself. There was a voice in his head, his own voice mind you, saying that it wasn’t Jeremy at all. It was his anxieties that he would be cast away. His fears that he would be rejected. The mental taunting saying that the love of his life would never see him the same. As silly as this week was, Michael felt vulnerable. He was putting his heart out there. This was the biggest secret he had ever kept.
That morning, he didn’t run into Jeremy. In class, he couldn’t pay attention. Inside, he was screaming, panicking, and overall a mess. It felt weird enough having everyone stare at him because of the announcement. No one even walked up to him or said a word. They just stared. Michael didn’t know if that was better or worse than confrontation. Regardless, his nerves had his insides twisted like the Gordian Knot. His palms felt sweaty; his leg kept bouncing. His hands flew from twirling a pen, to running through his hair, to drumming on the desk in a frantic search for something to do. Damnit, why couldn’t Jeremy have just been there? At one point, Michael just laid his head on the desk to try and collect himself. It worked to the degree of at least blocking out the eyes. All the eyes. None of them were welcomed. None of them were wanted. He had been ignored for most of his school life, why did they have to care now? He buried his head into his arms more when he remembered that he made them pay attention now. By the time the bell rang, he couldn’t breathe.
The second he heard the sound, he was running out the door. He knew he wouldn’t find Jeremy until much later. He just wanted to get to his next class as fast as possible. If he could just get in early, he would be able to escape the eyes. The teacher would be there, but he wouldn’t ask questions at least. Striding down the hall with the flag behind him, he tried to take deep breaths. Barging in, he sat in his seat and leaned back. Taking out his phone, he looked for a distraction. He had received nine texts. One from Rich, one from Christine, one from Jenna, and one from Chloe. He didn’t bother reading what they had said. The remaining five though, were from Jeremy. That made Michael’s heart pound.
He knew better than to expect much. After all, Jeremy was no stranger to double or triple texting. To get his attention, the boy would spam his phone and send one letter at a time for an entire sentence. Hesitantly, he read everyone else’s texts. Michael knew he couldn’t erase the messages, but he could certainly avoid them.
BRO! I didnt know u liked dudes! Welcome to the club man!!!
Im really proud of you michael!
LMAO CALLED IT PUNK!!!! Fr tho thats cool good job
How did you paint your shoes? They looked pretty cute.
Michael tried to pass the time as he replied accordingly. “ ayeeeeeee *finger guns* ” to Rich, a quick “ Thanks!!! ” to Christine, “ u hoe smh ily tho thank ” to Jenna, and “ its called angelus paint look it up ” to Chloe. As he sent the final message, he stared at the screen. The conversation he had with Jeremy. With a shaky thumb, he tapped on his icon.
So, I heard you in the hallway.
I tried to follow you. I, uh, didn’t want to look weird, though. You know how the crowd moved.
Sorry. I should have went anyway.
I could tell you were uncomfortable. You were holding your backpack straps. You know you only do that when you’re uncomfortable, right? Otherwise your hands are in your pockets. I could be overanalyzing things, though. Aha. I do that a lot…
Anyway, I’m happy for you. Who’s um… Who’s the lucky guy?
Michael looked at the message. He stared. For a moment, he placed his phone face down on his desk. Closing his eyes to forget his surroundings, he quickly banged his head on the desk. It hurt less than the emotional pain he was in right now, anyway. Using every fiber of his being to not scream, he picked up his phone again and tried to sound as casual as possible.
i mean you probs know him??? eh youll find out tomorrow…….. like ya know how i said 95% clear yesterday?? this is the remaining 5%
Lol. Okay! Shit. Class is about to start. I’ll see you at lunch!
Mentally, Michael cursed. Shoving his phone in his bag, he contemplated what he just said. “You’ll find out tomorrow,” he told him. That implied a confession . That was not scheduled this week. He had no intentions to tell Jeremy how he felt, but of course, he had to throw that in. Putting on his headphones and throwing over his hood, he leaned his head back and wondered. He still had one more sweater to wear. The megaphone still worked. If he really wanted to… He could sort of clarify the announcement he had made. Yeah. That seemed like a good idea. With that, he tucked his head under his arms again for a nap. His teacher wouldn’t notice anyway.
The next couple of periods followed in the same way. He checked his phone for messages. There weren’t any. He tried to pay attention. He just couldn’t. An hour and a half later, Michael was trying to get to his and Jeremy’s spot as slow as possible. He asked the teacher to clarify a part of the lesson, took smaller, slower strides, walked the long way, and went to the bathroom. Eventually though, he had to face Jeremy. He rolled out into the courtyard outside and took out the wheels. Anxiously, he stepped onto the grass and sat next to him. He felt his face warm as he was met with a heart melting smile.
“Hey, what took you so long, dude?”
Michael cleared his throat awkwardly before replying, “Hall traffic ya’ know. I, ah, also asked about something in math? Then I had to go to the bathroom and yeaaaah… Sorry, man.” He ended with a shrug.
His companion narrowed his eyes at him. “Yeah, no. I’m not buying it. What’s up?”
“Iiiiit’s… It’s just the whole coming out thing I guess.” Technically not a lie.
“Oh. OH. I’m sorry. Were people giving you a hard time? If that’s the case we can totally bring it up to the principle. This is a public school so people aren’t just allowed to-”
“No, no, that’s not it. I just like… I mean… Just internal problems.”
Jeremy scooched over and put an arm around Michael’s waist. Pulling him close, he asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Fucking hell, this was the worst time to talk about it. Not like that. Very curtly, he said, “No. No thanks, not now.”
His head was spinning as Jeremy just nodded and pulled him into a hug. Over his shoulder, Michael could see the people around him. The eyes were back. People were staring at him in his rainbow sweater as he hugged Jeremy. Oh my gosh they must think we’re dating. He realized. He turned red as he noticed Rich and Jake walking by. They winked, held thumbs up, and silently cheered as they passed by. As gently as he could so as to not stir Jeremy, Michael flipped them off and glared. Not yet. He mouthed. Both of them visibly deflated as they left his line of sight.
Then with a sad smile, he pulled back from Jeremy. The rest of the day carried on without a hitch. The eyes had disappeared, and he random people were giving him high fives in the hallway. Admittedly that last part was a bit strange, but it made him feel nice nonetheless.
It was the next day that had him scared out of his mind.
He woke up feeling relieved; he had come out to practically the entire school. For a few minutes, Michael was happy. The alarm wouldn’t go off for another ten or fifteen minutes, so he just checked his phone. He went on Tumblr to update his secret blog. He mostly talked about gaming and occasionally vintage or retro things. As he scrolled, he found something curious. It was a post from a humor blog he was following. It started off mentioning some kid who was wearing a lot of pride stuff this week. Michael chuckled; someone was doing the same thing he was. However, the OP had reblogged with an addition. It was a ten second video of him . Below, the caption read:
yO… so like……. Ive been mentioning the kid with the pride shit this week right??? Ive been saying,,, hes building up to something… WELL YALL WONT BELIEVE WHAT THIS KID DID AT SCHOOL TODAY LMAOOOO. FUKIN HEELIED DOWN THE HALLS WITH RAINBOW SWEATER AND SCREAMING INTO A MEGAPHONE “PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. I AM GAY.” DAMN WE PARTED LIKE THE R E D S E A. I WAS SHOOKTM. IDK WHO HE IS I THINK HE’S LIKE A JUNIOR OR SOMETHIN BUT IF YOURE OUT THERE…….. YOU ARE MY IDOL
ALSO…. Thursday?? ta fUK? What THE FUCK is goin down on friday my dude??
Michael didn’t know whether to freak out or laugh. The post had around five thousand notes. Surely, it would only continue to rise. That also brought up the question: What was he doing today? He had told Jeremy he would tell him who he liked today. That was him . Was he supposed to be romantic? Flowers, gushy poems, and shit? Just, flat out tell him? He couldn’t do either without getting worked up. The only thing he knew how to do without shame was scream.
Then, he thought about the post. He scrolled to find it again and added his own comment.
Yeaaaaaaah uuuuuuuuh das me??? i guess yall are gon find out who im gay for ooooooh
He tacked on a selfie for proof and hit reblog. Finally, his alarm went off. Show time. Scrambling out of bed, he unfolded the last of the three sweaters he had purchased. Laying it out, he prepared for school.
Fifty-seven minutes later, he was in the school parking lot just as he was the day before, equally stressed, but less rushed. He sent Jeremy a quick text.
bruuuh u at school rn orrrrrrrr….
Yeah. I’m at our lunch spot right now. Are you telling me who you like now?
yUP AND I AM STRESSED AS HELL. ill be there in a bit!!
With that, he pocketed his phone, took out the megaphone once more, and walked into the main building. Popping the wheels out his heelies, he readied himself for the next announcement.
“I’D LIKE TO MAKE AN AMENDMENT TO YESTERDAY’S PSA. I AM INDEED GAY, BUT LET IT BE KNOWN I AM GAY FOR JEREMY HEERE. I REPEAT, I AM GAY FOR JEREMY HEERE.” As he skated, he looked around. He found a person filming and winked. If countless people on Tumblr were going to see it, he might as well try and look good for it. He wondered if they knew he was onto them.
Continuing on, he could feel his nerves growing more and more as he continued down the hall. He also couldn’t help but notice the Tumblr fan following him. He was approaching the courtyard where Jeremy should be. Just a few more turns, a couple more corridors and he would be there. As he neared the end of this particular hall though, he heard footsteps coming towards him. They grew louder and louder, and oh shit what if it’s the principal . Was he in trouble? Although, realistically he wasn’t sure what he could be getting in trouble for, it was still a possibility.
Fear grew in him as he heard the person turn the corner. He couldn’t exactly stop announcing though could he? He was in the middle of the mantra.
“PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. YES, I AM GAY, BUT LET IT BE KNOW I AM GAY FOR- OH SHIT JEREMY’S HERE.”
He couldn’t stop. Michael was not prepared for this. Jeremy was supposed to stay under the shady tree until he arrived and give him a nice soft smile as he walked over. Not cryptically stare at the end of the hall with that spooky blank expression. He seemed so confused. His eyes were narrowed, his mouth hung slightly open, and his head tilted to the side. His face was red. Red in anger? Red in embarrassment? Whatever it was, it did not look good and oh goodness why was he still walking? Michael couldn’t stop the heelies; his mind was blank. He had forgotten how.
The following moment was a blur. It went by all too slow, yet painfully quick. He remembers dropping the megaphone; an uncomfortably loud crack echoed through the halls. There was a brief wave of movement in his peripherals as everyone cringed at the noise. After that, Michael couldn’t help but frantically wave his arms as if trying backstroke through water. He couldn’t stop moving, so maybe he could just change direction. It didn’t work though, and he lost his balance. The white lights of the ceiling flashed overhead as he fell. Later on, he would jokingly protest that it was the other side calling, as he was sure this was the end of him. Then, there was the impact. All the air was knocked out of his lungs as his back hit the linoleum tiles. A split second later, his head followed. He laid there on the floor, thinking, “ Come on assholes. Someone help me up. ” And someone did. A hand extended in front of him, and he was helped onto his feet. The hand didn’t let go. With a groan, he rubbed the back of his head, which was now throbbing.
A soft voice asked him, “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Good… Good...”
And then Jeremy was kissing him. He never let go of Michael’s hand, while the other was cupped around his cheek. Michael felt his lips curve into a smile as his arm went around Jeremy’s waist. He could tell he was on his toes; he didn’t exactly have to, but it felt nice. His touch was supportive and reassuring. It washed away his daunting insecurities; the kiss said everything he had been too afraid to say. He felt connected to Jeremy as well. There was a quick and playful eagerness in the way he pressed his lips against his. In that precious moment, Michael forgot the whole world.
Of course, the world is a prick sometimes. The crowd erupted in applause and cheers. He pulled back to see everyone clapping and taking pictures on their phones. He blushed as he turned back to Jeremy, trying to stay in the moment.
“They need to mind their own business, don’t they?” He chuckled, still holding him in his arms.
“Hah, yeah…” There was a moment of silence where neither of them said anything. They simply looked into each others’ eyes with the reassurance that everything was okay. Briefly, Jeremy broke eye contact. He was looking down at something.
“Hey. Hey, Jere. Whacha’ lookin’ at?”
Jeremy laughed as he read off of his sweater, “Let’s get one thing straight. I’m not. Nice.”
Michael stiffened up a bit at that, “Shut up, nerd!”
“I’m your nerd, though.”
With a sigh, he replied, “You are, Jeremy. You are.”