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Highschool has three unwritten rules all students live by;
One; no matter what, you will always be tired, so it’s perfectly socially acceptable to nap in weird places.
Two; no matter who is in your class, everyone will always be completely down to form an united front against the teacher.
And three; students will do everything, everything humanly possible to avoid doing homework as long as they can.
Right now rule three applied to Sero, who instead of writing the essay due this week was making weird faces into his phone camera. His hair had gotten long, he noticed. It almost reached his shoulders, and he hadn’t cut it since they all moved into the dorms.
‘Would it be long enough for a ponytail? ’ Sero wondered, and decided to find out. Searching his drawers for something resembling a hair tie, he wasn’t very successful. While in the progress of wondering if a paperclip could be transformed into a decent tie, he suddenly got the most brilliant idea ever.
At least, at that moment it seemed like a good idea. Sero used his quirk to produce a royal amount of tape, and began twisting it into something resembling a very sticky string, perfect for an hairtie.
“This is going to be so fucking efficient,” Sero muttered, not even bothering finding a mirror to tie up his hair.
Unfortunately for him, it proved to be anything but efficient. On the first try Sero missed a few strands of hair, wanted to loosen his ponytail to readjust it, but almost ended up janking half of his hair out in the progress.
‘Fuck.’ Sero fumbled for his phone, turning the front camera back on to see how bad the damage was.
“ Oh fuck no what have i done??” his hair was a mess. He couldn’t see the back of his head, but due the very sticky tape his hair resembled an abandoned bird nest after some mad wild cat attacked it.
‘My hair, my beautiful hair!!!’ Sero wailed inside his head. He attempted to tug one piece of tape out of the mess, but tears sprang in his eyes when his hair didn’t give an inch.
He couldn’t do this alone. Sero swallowed his pride and exited his room and headed for the common room, hoping there was someone who could save him.
He peeked around the corner and spotted Ashido and Kirishima launching on the couches, watching tv. Sero almost turned around in shame, but decided against it because the pain on his scalp reminded him that he needed help for fucks sake .
“Ashido-san help me tape as hairtie was a bad idea-” he said whining as he entered the common room.
Ashido looked over her shoulder and Kirishima looked up, to see a nearly crying Sero with a complete disaster on his head.
“ Please help ,” Sero whispered.
“PFFFF HAHAHA OHMYGOD!”
“CHRIST SERO WHAT DID YOU DO??”
Kaminari, who had been rummaging in the kitchen, peeked his head around the corner to see what all the noise was about. He promptly joined in on laughing at Sero, the insensitive bastards.
Kirishima was the first to take pity on him and lead Sero to sit on a chair with the promise to help him. He, Ashido and Kaminari stood gathered around the chair, admiring Sero’s handywork.
“What- pfff - what did you even DO , bro??” Kirishima asked, trying and failing to keep his laughter at bay.
Ashido never tried not to laugh, and was still wheezing at his birdnest.
“This looks so fucked dude, awesome!” Kaminari said while taking pictures for future blackmail.
Kirishima, at least trying to be helpful, poked his tape-hair carefully. “Damn Sero dude, this is really bad we might need to cut it.”
“wHAT??” Sero screeched.
“Dude stop teasing him he can be saved.”
“Yeah! We just need to find a way to cut it away”
Kirishima offered to try and cut it away with his quirk, but Sero kindly declined because no way you have enough precision for that I want to keep my hair please and thank you.
“What if we let Kaminari zap it away?”
“Well I suppose i could try-”
“THAT WON’T WORK DON’T FRY MY BRAIN!!” Sero shouted, beginning to feel desperate and beginning to question his choices in friends.
A soft cough drew their attention. Yaoyorozu stood in the door opening, confusedly measuring the ruckus she walked into. “I can get you a pair of scissors?” she offered. “That should do the job-”
“Noo that’s too simple!” Ashido answered.
“Yeah!” Kaminari filled in. “In video games you never get a scissors for this shit either!”
“But it’s real life-” Yaoyorozu saw her classmates already arguing with each other again and decided to leave it. “Nevermind.”
“nO WAIT YAOYOROZU-SAN COME BACK HELP ME-” Sero screamed at her retreating back, but with no success.
Meanwhile his so-called ‘friends’ were still discussing over how to get the tape away.
“We’re heroes! If we can’t save Sero’s hair then we can’t do anything!” Kaminari wailed dramatically.
“Would Ashido’s acid be able to dissolve the tape?”
“ Do y’all want me to die or something??” Did he have no say in this at all??
“Yes, actually.”
“Oh fuck off, Pikachu!”
After five more minutes of heated discussion Sero decided to take his chances and sneak off to find Yaoyorozu and see if she was willing to make him a pair of scissors. At least she seemed less willing to get him killed.
“OH NO YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, HANTA!” Ashido grabbed him by his collar and deposited him back on the chair. “Get the duct tape, you are staying here until we find a solution!”
“NOT FUNNY!”
“Hey did you know that when you lick tape it loses it’s stickiness?” Kaminari brought up. “Someone get Tsuyu, it’s her time to shine.”
“Guys, no one is licking my hair.”
“Maybe we can ask Tsuyu to use her tongue to tie him down if the duct tape won’t do!” Kirishima suggested.
“NO ONE IS LICKING ME IN GENERAL EITHER.”
“Does it count as licking if it’s tying you up?”
“WHY DON’T YOU TRY IT THEN KAMINARI??”
“I’ll go look for her! Be right back!” Mina offered.
“GUYS NO LICKING!” Sero was nearly in tears.
This was the scene Tokoyami walked into. He had only wanted to get some soda from the kitchen, but seeing the situation before him he decided it was too late for this shit, and promptly turned around. The soda could wait.
“Oh I got it! I’ll ask Blasty to blast it off!”
“IT’S TAPE NOT SOME GODDAMN BRICK WALL. I WANT TO MAKE IT OUT OF HERE ALIVE I HATE YOU.”
Ashido had finally stopped her giggling fit and was poking at his hair.
“Wait, maybe if I just-” she started, grabbing a piece of tape and began to gently tug. It gave. Ashido tugged harder, ignoring Sero’s wails when he felt chunks of hair pulled out of his scalp. And before they knew it, Sero’s hair fell back over his shoulders, free of tape.
Silence.
Ashido looked at the bunch of tape in her hand, it’s stickiness lost due the black hairs still being attached to it.
“Wel.. That worked I guess?”
“Okay that was anti-climatic,” Kirishima said.
Sero was rubbing his scalp, tears still in his eyes, but very very relieved to be freed.
“Damnit I just got another idea!” Kaminari whined. “Oi Sero, do that again you will love this idea!”
“FUCK OFF NO WAY!” Sero yelled, suddenly fearing for his life again.
“Okay someone bring me duct tape from the kitchen, this is gonna be WILD!”
“Why am I friends with all of you?” Sero genuinely wondered. “All you do when I need help is try to kill me!”
“Hey c’mon we’d never kill you, we just-” Kirishima tried.
“KILLING MY HAIR STILL COUNTS AS ME!”
Kaminari stuck his head around the corner of the kitchen. “We are out of tape, dammit! You think if i borrow Mineta a porn magazine he’ll give us some of his balls?”
“I HATE YOU ALL.” Sero cried. “WE ARE NOT USING HIS BALLS FOR ANYTHING.”
“Way of phrasing that one,” mumbled Ashido.
Sero decided to take his chances and run for it. Kirishima and Kaminari were still in the kitchen searching for something sticky, and Ashido was yelling at them.
Before they could notice his plan he jumped off his chair and made a beeline for the exit, sprinting towards his room.
In his dorm he immediately locked the door, ignoring his friends yelling at him to come back. He played with the idea to just fucking barricade the door, but ended up opted for collapsing on his bed instead, deeply overthinking his life choices.
He was already planning his sweet revenge.