Work Text:
Touring is always fun for Luke. He lives for standing on that stage and hearing people scream out his lyrics word for word and the adoring screams that follow every word they say. He loves performing more than anything, including his band mates. But it's a close second. His least favorite thing about touring is rooming. Because at home, he has his own room with no one else to have to share with. But sharing with Calum or Ashton isn't that bad, it's when he only has the choice between four walls or Michael for a week that there's a problem with sharing rooms. He's tried everything to get Michael to not be such an asshole, but the other boy's attitude is a combination of homesickness, sleepiness and the resentment that comes from Michael's self-esteem. So when Michael opens up to him about this, Luke tries to do anything to make Michael feel better. But every time they share a room, it's just like it's always been, Michael yelling at Luke and Luke rolling over, figuratively and physical. Because Luke doesn't like confrontation, but he likes it even less when he knows that someone doesn't like him. Or maybe he doesn't like it because he really likes Michael. But he hasn't figured out which one is the real reason, so he just uses the excuse that seems easier to accept. So since the schedule says they have to room together, Luke just goes to their shared room and prepares himself for the worst. But at first, Michael's calm and civilized- sort of. If you call civilized throwing a controller at Luke and telling him the best way to get over jet lag is playing Fifa. Luke wants to object but it's the first night of them sleeping in the same room and he doesn't want to have to deal with Michael angry already. After a few games, Luke decides that unlike Michael, he actually need sleep, and throws the controller onto Michael's bed, takes off his shirt and pants and climbs under the covers without a glance at Michael. Normally, that wouldn't have bothered Michael, but Luke is just freakishly perfect and he was attempting to strengthen the friendship. It wasn't his fault that he liked privacy and Luke was always stuck with him after Calum and Ashton. Michael stared at the sleeping boy and admired how peaceful and calm he seemed. How he was gorgeous even when he slept. But that wasn't the point, Michael's main anger towards Luke was that he wanted to make out with the blonde boy, not watch him sleep in the bed next to his.
When Luke wakes up, he tries to tiptoe out of the room. Michael is just as happy after a show as he is in the morning. But when he hears a groan, he knows that Michael is awake.
"Luke?" A half asleep Michael asks.
"Yeah, what do you need?" Luke replies, but inwardly cringes at how harsh it sounds.
"I want food. And a hug, I miss home." So Luke makes his way to the older boy, and crawls under the covers. He hugs Michael and plays with his hair, because he knows Michael's not a bad person, he just wants to be back home. While holding the older boy, Luke considers what it would be like to kiss Michael, his thoughts interrupted by Michael's question of what Luke's going to do about food. So he calls room service, doing everything in his power to stay as close to Michael as possible, but after being fed, Michael starts to push Luke away. Luke knows that Michael likes him space, but he can't figure out why he suddenly doesn't even want to look in Luke's direction five minutes after they've left go of each other.
The second night, they sit on the balcony after the show and end up discussing love. Luke doesn't know how they got there, but he's glad that Michael has yet to yell at him. It feels like when they were the closest, and Luke loves feeling important to Michael. Michael tells Luke that he's never been in love, and Luke almost says how much he loves Michael. That night, they share a bed. Luke falls asleep smiling with Michael's arm wrapped around his waist.
But the happiness doesn't last. The tour takes it's toll on Michael when he feels like he's played a really bad show. Luke can't get a single word out before Michael spits the phrase 'shut up' at Luke. So Luke shuts up, curls into a ball, in his own bed, pretends to be asleep and wishes with all of his heart that Michael would feel better in the morning.
When the groan the symbolizes Michael being awake isn't followed by a question, Luke realizes Michael's still angry and taking it out on him. He slips out of the room, and wanders the halls carelessly, because even screaming fans are better than a grumbling Mikey.
"Hey, I'm gonna-" Luke started but was cut off by Michael.
"Shut up Luke. Just leave."
Luke mumbled okay, and walked out the door towards Calum and Ashton's room. He lets himself into the room and crawls into Calum's bed. The other boy rolled over and smiled at Luke, still half-asleep.
"Michael?" Calum asked, wrapping his arms around Luke. The younger boy just nodded as tears threatened to spill. Calum didn't know everything, but could tell that Michael's actions toward Luke always brought him a visitor, sometimes in the morning, sometimes at night. Calum thought of asking Luke what the problem was, but it never seemed like the right time when the younger boy was on the verge of tears.
“I don’t understand him. Some days he’s nice, others he’s an asshole. A few days ago, he wanted me to cuddle and today he starts off by telling me to shut up. I don’t get it,” Luke said, voice cracking.
“I don’t think it’s your fault Luke. Michael’s always in his head, always thinking. He yells at everyone,” Calum said trying to sooth Luke, who was now crying.
“You know what, I’m going to confront him. I’m going to go in there and tell him to stop being an asshole. I deserve that, right?” Luke said, confidence rising. He pulled himself out from underneath the sheets, and headed back to his room before Calum was able to confirm what he had said.
Luke’s confidence was waning as he approached the door. His shaky hands turned the door knob, he walked into the room, saw Michael laying on the bed, on his phone. “Michael,” Luke said but once he met the other boy’s eyes, all of Luke’s confidence disappeared.
“Yeah Luke?” Michael asked softly, hoping he wouldn't scare off the boy again.
“N-nothing. I forgot what I was going to ask,” Luke stuttered out. Forgot because of your stupid eyes, Luke thought.
“Are you sure? I mean, it’s not like you to stutter. I'm just trying to look out for you,” Michael asked, caringly.
“Oh, thanks,” Luke sighed.
“I mean that’s what friends are for.” Friends, a shot to the heart for Luke. Luke looked back up and almost said something, but saw Michael on his phone again. Luke walked out and back to the other room. When Luke walked back into the room, Calum sat up.
“So? How’d it go?” Calum asked.
“Let’s go for a walk. Let’s just say it didn’t go well,” Luke sighed.
When they walked out of the room, Luke turned to Calum and sighed. "It was a mess. All I could get out was Michael, the other sentence was me stuttering and it's all because of his eyes. Have you ever seen his eyes when they're focused on something? It's absolutely amazing."
"So you didn't accomplish anything? I can help you, like go in the room with you and make sure that you tell him. What's going on between the two of you anyways?" Calum asked. His curiosity got the better of him and Luke wasn't crying.
"No, I need to do this by myself. That's the only way I can feel like I did something about it, did it right. And between us? It's all Michael. It's all his attitude, him and his stupid like problem with space and after shows."
"What you said about his eyes. I know you Luke, you can't just brush it off as him. You know who else's eyes you mentioned?" Calum prodded, hoping to get a real answer out if Luke.
"We don't talk about her. It's not something that I want to revisit."
"I'm not talking about her, I'm talking about Michael."
Luke wanted to yell, 'What about Michael? I'm not willing to like someone who doesn't like me. I'm not a masochist.' But instead he just shrugged it off by saying, "It's not about me. Can we talk about something else?"
"Fine. Some day you'll admit it. What's your plan for confronting him now?"
"I don't have one. I'm not good at following my plans, even if I made one," Luke sighed, wondering what he could actually do about Michael. "I guess it's go back in there and wait for the show to be over and then go from there."
Luke and Calum went to their rooms again. Calum left Luke at his door with a squeeze of his shoulder which always, for as long as they had known each other, was a way of wishing the other good luck. Luke walks into the room to be confront by Michael, who is wearing nothing but a towel. Luke has to swallow and really focus on Michael's face to make sure his gaze doesn't trail too far south. The two of them stand there for a little while, staring and trying to think of something to say.
"Hey Luke, I'm sorry if I'm acting like an asshole. It's just- well you know, I've already told you," Michael said, not breaking eye contact with the younger boy. Luke had to resist the urge to lean in and kiss Michael. But that would be wrong and get probably wouldn't be able to stop kissing Michael.
"Let's play video games," Michael suggests, and Luke absentmindedly agrees.
"Aren't you going to put on some clothes?" Luke asks when Michael attempts to start the game.
"No. I like it better this way," Michael replies and Luke knows that is the end of that conversation.
Luke doesn't mind that Michael's not wearing clothes, it's more of a distraction. Especially when Michael wins, because each time, he stands up and jumps around. Luke doesn't worry about it too much, until the towel falls off of Michael entirely. Both boys blush and Michael attempts to put the towel back on as quickly as possible. Luke decides to act civil and not attempt to embarrass Michael further. Also, being flustered makes it kind of hard to think.
Everything is going fine for Luke by the end of the week. He played a great show, his friendship with Michael is doing better and Calum hasn't asked him any more questions that he doesn't want to answer. But apparently, Michael's view on life isn't the same, Michael is ready to punch a wall. So when he sulks back to the room that he shares with the all too happy Luke, Michael decides to take it out on the boy, none of what he says is supposed to hurt Luke, it just ends up that way.
“Hey Michael,” Luke says smiling.
“Shut up. I don’t know why you’re happy and I don’t want to know why either,” Michael snaps.
“Well, it’s somebody’s time of the month.’
“I’m not kidding Luke. Shut. Up.”
“Seriously Michael, why do you always do this?”
“Do what? I’m not the one who did anything.”
“Oh yes you do. You shut down, get pissed off and want to make everyone around you pissed to. It’s like you have your own personal rain cloud and want it to surround everyone.”
"Shut up Luke," Michael said.
"No. Listen to me- I don't know what-" Luke yelled, being cut off.
"Shut the fuck up!" Michael yelled back.
"No." It wasn't louder than a whisper but Michael heard it.
"What did you say?"
"I said no. I'm tired of being treated like shit by you," Luke said, keeping calm externally as Michael got closer to him. With each sentence, Michael backed him up, until his back was against the wall. "I'm done just listening to you and all of your shit. It's always my fault no matter what it actually is. Forget something at home, yell at Luke. Miss one chord, yell at Luke. Get less than eight hours of sleep, yell at Luke. It's always my fault in your eyes, even when I have absolutely nothing with whatever happened." Luke looked up at Michael, expecting him to say something, but not getting a response. He shoved Michael, realizing how close he was and asked, "Huh? What do you have to say?"
Once Michael recovered from the shove, he grabbed Luke's collar and instead of yelling back at him, he kissed Luke. Luke's brain was shocked at the thought of Michael's lips on his, but wasn't objecting. He kissed back until Michael pulled away and looked at the ground.
"I'm sorry," Michael mumbled. "That shouldn't have happened." Luke stood there shocked, what did he mean that shouldn't have happened? Before the other boy could get too far away, Luke grabbed his arm to turn him around.
"What do you mean that shouldn't have happened?"
"I mean that I shouldn't have yelled at you and definitely shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what? Why are you always like this? The second you start to open up, you shut right back down. I don't get it," Luke yelled at Michael.
"I'm sorry that I was an asshole. I never meant to make you feel that badly. And do we have to talk about the kiss? It was an accident," Michael said slowly.
"So what if I kissed you? What would you call that?" Luke asked and waited for a reply. When he didn't get one, he kissed Michael. Michael melted into him almost as soon as their lips connected.
Michael sighed and decided that Luke should know why he was acting the way he was. "When I said that I was sorry, I meant I was sorry for the way it happened. I didn't mean to kiss you right now, you got really aggressive and I got the urge to kiss you, so I did. It was impulsive and dumb and not what I planned to do at all. Ashton helped me plan out this whole secret date thing and I was going to be romantic but no, I just have to go and make out with you. If that's not bad enough, then I tell you it's all a mistake," Michael ranted, pacing. Luke started laughing, only pissing off Michael more. “What?”
“You just look so cute when you’re angry. It’s endearing,” Luke smiled.
Michael leaned in to kiss him, gentler than earlier. He pulled away, grinning and said, "You know why I hate you, Luke Hemmings?”
"Why?" Luke asked, but he knew by the way Michael said it, that hate was synonymous with love.
"Because you actually listen when I say shut up."