Eren’s roommates think they’re loud, angry. That their relationship is built on dysfunctional co-dependence, anger feeding on anger. Like they’re both so intense only they can handle each other.
“I think I need anger management,” Eren sounds uncomfortable when he’s not growling.
“I’ll come with you,” Jean says. “If you want.”
Eren is in your face angry. He’s always so loud sometimes Jean hears his phantom swearing on the east side of campus when he knows damn well Eren is at the campus gym, angrily lifting weights like he means to prep for a fight. Even when Eren smiles it looks like he’s snarling. He’s fuming and bitching about something all the time that Jean doesn’t even know what it’s about 90% of the time.
The other 10% he does because they’re things he can fix and if he can get Eren to shut the fuck up for 10% of the time, he does.
They stay in Jean’s room under the blankets. His comforter is way too heavy for summer but they stay down there until Eren stops shaking and his back is clammy against Jean’s chest.
Jean is bitter angry, like the nasty taste at the back of your throat when you dry swallow a pain killer in the dawn of a hangover from tequila. He’s that uncomfortable humor that you can never tell if he’s joking or if he really wants to rip your guts out your nose. Sometimes Eren gets fed up with it, takes it personally like he does everything. Sometimes, he finds it funny. Jean rarely raises his voice with emotion which freaks out Eren because silence unnerves him and Jean’s silence is angry and dark and unknown.
He says he’s sorry and Jean is suspicious. He’s always suspicious. Because once upon a time, Jean apologized like an asshole and yelled until someone was forced to forgive him. So he’s less forgiving himself to people who apologize like assholes to him.
“Jean, I’m sorry,” Eren comes with flowers. He’s tired of fighting dirty. “Please help me do this better.”
So people aren’t all that surprised when they tumble out of Eren’s dorm room one morning–Jean with a hickey so far up his neck it’s almost on his face and Eren struggling to put a t-shirt over the scratches all over him.
Everyone’s damn well worried though. Because you can’t be mixing a lit fuse with gasoline and not expect for everything to burn to shit.
They watch and listen because angry boys are a spectacle and the explosion should be fun to watch.
“Fuck, I think I love you.”
“I know.”
“Arrogant bastard.”
Eren laughs. “No. I mean I know I love you.”
They listen to them hanging out in Eren’s room quiet at first, then someone’s talking, then someone’s yelling, then both of them are yelling, door open, door slammed shut, someone yelling. Then quiet again. They think it’s over. It’s good while it lasted. That’s 1 week, 1 month, 1 semester more than they bet.
But the door opens again and there’s shuffling. Eren’s putting on his coat and holding the phone to his face. He’s still yelling, “Fucking Jean, where are you? Come on. Don’t fucking leave like that.”
He stops in the hallway and he talks again. This time no one can hear. “Look, I’m sorry. I’ll come to you. Stay there.”
They’re walking from class one day, it’s a late one. Finals are right around the corner and the semester’s caught up with both of them. Eren likes to hold hands and Jean lets him.
Eren loops their pinkies together. Jean squeezes back and they go home.
The peace doesn’t hold up. Later that night they’re back in Eren’s room. There’s a lot of yelling, things being thrown around. If it weren’t for Eren rummaging the bathroom for condoms earlier, they’d have called the cops already. It doesn’t let up for an hour. Lots of energy to be spent. Lots of anger to let out.