Work Text:
“A solo song.” she muttered to herself, repeating Maki’s earlier words. A song entirely, written, created, and sung by her. It was a terrifying concept, not only was it a lot of responsibility, but it was on her alone. Needless to say, Hanayo was completely out of her comfort zone. She had spent the last hour asking Umi and Maki for advice on songwriting. She recalled their words aloud. “Something personal, or a memory, something about feelings…” she mumbled, listing a few of the options they had mentioned. Each thought came to one singular thing. Rin Hoshizora.
“I-I can’t write a song about Rin-Chan!” she squeaked, increasing her pace as she walked, as if attempting to escape something that wasn’t there. “It’s a solo, it should be about me, right? Not Rin-Chan.” she thought to herself, entirely unaware of what was encroaching behind her.
“What about Rin-Chan?” Rin asked, announcing her presence all too suddenly. She pounced on Hanayo, draping her arms over her shoulders. “Oh! I know! It’s that solo song thing, isn’t it? You were thinking…” she paused, trying to imitate Hanayo’s voice. “I should ask Rin-Chan for help!” she beamed, her natural energy causing the voice to sound nothing like Hanayo’s, but she was proud of the attempt all the same. “Don’t worry, Kayo-Chin. I can help!”
“N-no thanks Rin-Chan. It’s my solo. I’ve got to do it myself…” she explained, frowning as Rin grew visibly disappointed.
“Aw, okay. We can still hang out today though. Right, nya?” her expression transformed in an instant, a look of hopeful expectancy replacing her disappointment. Hanayo blushed, it was absolutely adorable, she could hardly handle the way she was looking at her. As she found herself gazing into Rin’s yellowy eyes, she was tempted to give in. But Maki’s characteristically harsh voice came bursting into her mind, reminding her of how urgently they needed her solo. Due to some scheduling issues on Honoka’s part, her solo had to be done within two weeks. Only serving to add to the crushing pressure on her shoulders.
Yet, Rin’s presence relieved it. Not entirely, but she certainly felt a lot calmer because of it. She frowned, she hated to turn Rin down, but really she had no choice. “No, I’m sorry! I-I need to work on my solo… P-please forgive me.” she bowed, praying Rin would forgive her.
“That’s okay, nya. I’ll go hang out with Nozomi-Chan and Umi-Chan instead. I’ll see you later, Kayo-Chin.” she said, waving happily as she left, she came across utterly carefree, her mood unchanging despite being unable to spend time with Hanayo. However, that was merely how she came across. In truth, she was disappointed, she desperately wanted her, but she wouldn’t get in the way of what she wanted to do, she cared about her too much for that.
She sighed, watching Rin go and nervously waving back. It pained her to let Rin go like that. She cast her thoughts to the issue at hand, her solo song. Once again, nothing but Rin came to mind. “Why is it always Rin-Chan?” she wondered, frustrated by her inability to call upon a single memory or thought that didn’t include the other girl. “Okay. What if I just think about a time when Rin-Chan wasn’t with me!”
Thinking back through years and years. She found nothing. As far as she could remember, Rin had been there by her side, talking to her, walking with her, caring for her. Out of all the memories, the one that stood out the most was their very first meeting.
Her recollection was vivid, a spectrum of sounds, sights and even smells came rushing back to her as she recalled it all. She was about six at the time, she had only just started school. It was a terrifying place, too large, too many people, all of them strangers. She had already been an anxious child, and the new environment did absolutely nothing to help it. Unusually, she found herself relatively okay with classes, she only had to listen to the teacher and do work, no one bothered her too much, it was nice enough.
The real problem was the breaks.
She was alone. Every time. She hid, she avoided everyone, she was scared at the concept of talking to any of them. So, while they all played and enjoyed themselves together, Hanayo would just watch, cowering behind trees, walls, whatever she could find.
On the day it all changed, the sun rested in the sky, it’s warmth subtle and comforting, brushing over all with it’s caressing rays. It lit the scene perfectly, glowing with joy. Aside from the sun, the rest of nature seemed perfect too; The trees displaying their newly gained leaves, a fresh, bright green that forever burned into Hanayo’s mind, the flower buds opening, not quite revealed the full glory of their petals, but getting close. Finally, at centre stage. Were a group of other girls, smiling as bright as the sun that shone down upon them as they played around, leaping over a skipping rope. One girl stood out to her in particular, her smile was even brighter than the other girls, outshining anything Hanayo had seen in her life.
Their eyes accidentally met as she stared. From that moment, everything changed for the both of them.
The smiling girl approached her, her smile unceasing as she got closer and closer. Despite her usual skittishness, Hanayo felt no inclination to run, the girl was oddly comforting. “Hiya.” she said excitedly, getting closer than anyone ever did to her. “You’re uhh. Kayo, right?” she asked, oblivious to her mistake.
“Um. H-hanayo, actually.” she mumbled, usually she would have looked away, she always had trouble looking at people when talking to them. Oddly, she couldn’t bring herself to look away from the other girl, taking in the sight of her; The mess of orange hair atop her head, the shorts that differentiated her from the rest of the girls, her softly striking yellow eyes.
“Aw, I liked the name Kayo.” she muttered. “Anyway, my name’s Rin! Do you wanna come play? You look like you do!” she beamed, outstretching a hand.
She stared at the hand, before now, she never would have taken it. “You can call me Kayo if you want.” she simply mumbled, taking Rin’s hand in a silent response. It held her own gently, her skin smooth and soft against her own.
“Yay!” she exclaimed, leading Hanayo along over to where the other girls were playing.. “I know it’s a bit scary at first, the big skipping rope. But I can go on it with you if you want.” she said, her voice taking a tone of soft reassurance.
“That would be nice.” she whispered back, gripping Rin’s hand slightly tighter.
From then on, they played, laughing, smiling, being happy and content. And since then, the feeling remained. The warm spring day seemed to live on whenever she was with Rin.
It was at this point she realised, she had no choice but to write about Rin in her song. Their lives were so entwined. The memory felt perfect for a song, a title formed in her mind. “Nawatobi.” she muttered aloud.
As soon as she returned home, she greeted to her mother, (Who confusedly asked where Rin was, citing that she was near constantly around on Tuesdays) then went upstairs to her room, noting down the title and concepts she wanted to express in the song. It went through several stages, she crossed out and rewrote many a note. Ultimately, the purpose of the song came to light. It was a tribute to Rin, for all she had done for Hanayo.
Of course, this was only the half truth. In reality, it was a love song. A transfer of her feelings to a set of words. Tears formed in Hanayo’s eyes as she wrote, casting her mind back to Rin’s presence throughout her life.
After a few hours, it felt mostly complete. She sent it to Umi, gaining her approval near immediately. Now all that was left was to actually record the song. Unfortunately, that would be hardest of all.
Hanayo had intended to record the song with just Maki overseeing it. She was too afraid to record alone in front of more than one person, and she couldn’t trust herself around Rin. With the high emotions of the song, she didn’t know what she could end up doing. A few possibilities came to mind, crying, not being able to sing properly, and scariest of all, confessing. It felt foolish to even worry about it, there’s no way she’d suddenly gain the confidence for that, yet the threat of it still hung heavy in Hanayo’s mind, she had no idea how Rin would react if she told her she loved her, she figured she’d either misunderstand or turn her down. No matter what, it wouldn’t be good.
Despite it all, she was there. Opposite Hanayo, separated by a layer of soundproof glass. She wanted to tell Rin no when she asked to watch, but her familiarly sparkling eyes and shimmering smile defeated her. Leading them to where they now stood.
Everything moved far, far too quickly, one minute she was adjusting the microphone to a comfortable height, the next minute the backing track began playing, awaiting her accompaniment. Her eyes squeezed shut with worry, panic taking over. They opened briefly, revealing Rin, a beacon of shining support. Her stress and anxiety seemed to wash away, replaced with a warm, comforting feeling.
Maki gave her a hand signal, the song began properly. Despite her previous inhibitions, Hanayo’s voice flowed smoothly from her lips, the lyrics brought her back to the Spring day where she met Rin. A slight smile forming on her lips as she envisioned her younger self being lead along toward the skipping rope.
Her singing became effortless, each lyric left her mouth perfectly. It was an expression of her adoration, the embodiment of her gratitude, it was beautiful.
More memories came to Hanayo, as she explored them with her words. Recalling the inception of her school idol career, how Rin’s unyielding support brought her to where she was today. The fire in her eyes when she was accepted into Muse was burned into Hanayo’s mind, the distinct look of pride and joy motivating her no matter what. At the time she was so terrified, it seemed ridiculous to her now.
Happy tears streamed down her face, doing nothing to impede her. She sung on as they fell, her voice quivering as she completed the section of the song. Although brief, she looked at Rin during the silence, staring at the wet marks down her face. She couldn’t tell why she cried, the beauty of the song, the meaning of it, her voice. No matter what it was, it had a dramatic effect on her, as clutched one of the headphones on her head, as if Hanayo’s voice were some previous treasure.
She locked her pale purple-pink eyes on Rin, looking at her as if nothing else existed. It was clear she was singing to her. She ignored the lyrics, singing her thoughts and feelings to Rin as they came. Her improvised words fit masterfully, blending with the song as if they had been intended from the very start. It was absolutely a confession, she sung about throwing away her hesitation, how she wanted to be with Rin forever, to live every day like their first one together.
She thanked her what felt like a thousand times, looking at her and smiling, her face tearstained. Her eyes mirrored Rin’s, neither of them able to look away even slightly. She paused again after an apology. The music drawing closer to its conclusion. Her tears flooded her face as she sang.
“Thank you.” her regular voice broke through the song, she said it directly to Rin, entirely separate from the song. It was happy, a slight laugh in it. She looked at Rin adoringly, singing to her about how happy she was.
Finally, the song concluded as Hanayo let out one final “I’m sorry.” only seconds after the backing track ended, Rin all but shattered the door of the recording booth with how she opened it. By then, Maki had left, wondering just what to do with the long recording, she hadn’t intended the song to be six minutes long, but Hanayo’s improvisation made it so.
“Kayo-Chin!” Rin cried, launching herself at Hanayo and hugging her as tight as she could. Forcefully, she kissed her. A silent declaration of their mutual feelings. After that brief contact, Rin broke away. Offering a simple gesture.
Her hand outstretched. Hanayo took it once again, and would never let go.