Chapter Text
When Mark asks Donghyuck to come home with him, his first instinct was to check the entrance of the kitchen to see if it was a hidden camera. When he doesn’t see anything or anyone aside from Mark and Taeil hyung who was eating pudding, he has what others might call a “delayed reaction.”
The tea he’d been holding spills on the kitchen counter and he curses, grabbing some kitchen tissues and wiping it quickly, then more slowly, because when he was done he’d have to face Mark and his absurd question.
Taeil hyung approaches Donghyuck, handing him a kitchen towel before escaping quickly because he could not be around all this unresolved teenage (never mind that both Mark and Donghyuck hadn’t been teenagers for a while) angst lest it breaks his zen.
Crumpling the soaked tissues, he turns around to face Mark, who is sitting on the kitchen island like he hadn’t just asked Donghyuck the most ridiculous question of all. Like it was no big deal, to ask Donghyuck to come with him all the way to Vancouver as if Vancouver was just a restaurant down the street.
“Hyung,” he says, “what do you mean, come home with you? To Canada?”
Mark shifts in his seat, attempting to smile but failing like he always does when Donghyuck sounds seconds away from exploding, “Well, yeah. I mean, since you just finished filming that movie, and you don’t have to be back on set for another two months...and my album’s done, really. My brother’s getting married, too, so I want to be there for the wedding at least.”
“Come home,” Donghyuck repeats, “with me?”
“Yes, with you,” Mark rolls his eyes, playful, “is there anyone else in this kitchen right now?”
I could punch you, Donghyuck thinks. I really could, and none of the hyungs would say anything, thinking that it’s just another fight, that Mark said something dumb again. Poor Mark, always having to deal with Donghyuck’s temper. Well, no one held Mark at gunpoint and coached him into periodically saying things that risked violence. Maybe Mark was a masochist.
“I have a variety show lined up.”
“Ten hyung said you weren’t going to take it, though? You didn’t like one of the other hosts…?”
Ten hyung should really stop putting it upon himself to update every one of Donghyuck’s plans. Never mind that Donghyuck rarely replies in their group chat, or brings up his own schedules himself. If they wanted to know, they could text him.
“Well, I haven’t decided yet,” Donghyuck hedges, “it’s really up in the air right now, the cast could still change, so…”
“So it’s a no?” Mark looks at him, seagull eyes wrinkling, like wings wavering against harsh winds. I pass through his face like a storm, Donghyuck thinks. Except storms don’t backtrack, don’t go back to the places they ransacked. They don’t feel the need for reparations.
“...When’s your brother’s wedding?”
Mark beams, and tells him to pack light.
News of the impending trip reached all the members much more quickly than Donghyuck had anticipated. The thing is, even though most of the members are scattered at the moment, doing their own solo gigs and only meeting up in small groups, Taeyong hyung still has a strong grip on pretty much every member. He knows about their schedules, their relationships with the other members (or even outside NCT) and when he asks everyone to meet up, they meet up. No one denies Taeyong hyung anything, the leader of a group that now has more than 20 active or inactive members, depending on the subunit. Although Donghyuck will admit that he doesn’t know the current line up of Dream as well as he’d like, he does still feel a sense of camaraderie with all the members. His family, however, will always be the two groups he’d first debuted with.
So when Ten hyung, with Johnny hyung in tow, come to the dorms (they had their own apartment) with food and questions, Donghyuck lets them in and doesn’t snark as much as he would have if it had been people outside of 127 and Dream.
“Fess up, boy,” Ten hyung ordered, adjusting his glasses like some noir detective, “what’s this about a trip to Canada?”
“I’m surprised Mark hyung hasn’t updated everyone in the group chat.”
“Oh, he has,” Johnny hyung snorts, “but all he said was that you were accompanying him to his brother’s wedding. He also refused to answer when we asked him if you were coming as his date, so…”
“I’m not coming as his date,” Donghyuck’s metal chopsticks resounded against his plate, “just a friend. Accompanying another friend.”
“Right,” Ten hyung says, “never mind that this is the perfect opportunity to introduce you to his parents and relatives or anything.”
“You know we’re not like that.” Not anymore, Donghyuck wanted to add, but then no one really knew what had happened exactly, though Ten hyung probably did even without Donghyuck saying anything. You couldn’t have a fall-out without anything to fall out of, after all.
“Just don’t elope in secret, okay?” Johnny hyung says, his eyebrows raised mischievously, causing Donghyuck to snort.
“If you do decide to elope, though, I’d like some pictures.” Ten hyung adds, obviously trying to make it clear that they were still supportive of any possible reunions between them in Canada. Ten hyung had always been vocally supportive of them as a couple. Johnny hyung was, as well, but he usually talked to Mark about it more than Donghyuck.
“There will be no eloping.” Donghyuck says, firm as he finished his glass of coke and put it down on the table with conviction.
The hyungs nodded, letting it go, and Donghyuck is thankful that out of all the hyungs he and Mark had gotten close to as a pair, it was them. Any other pair, like Taeyong hyung and Jaehyun hyung, would have been too overbearing.
Before they left, Ten hyung gives Donghyuck a long hug, whispering, “Don’t let Mark pressure you into anything. But you don’t have to keep saying no if you don’t want to. Your past self can ruin your present happiness if you’re not careful.” His eyes, big and earnest, reminded Donghyuck of Mark’s eyes, always shining with the best of intentions.
Donghyuck wonders if he should start reading those Buddhist philosophy books that Ten hyung had gotten into. Maybe that was the key to his and Johnny hyung’s relationship.
Mark and Donghyuck leave Korea on a cloudy Sunday night. It was so cloudy that on the ride to the airport, the full moon looked like smudged chalk courtesy of a shaky toddler’s hands. What did the moon look like, back home in Jeju? Was it just like this? Or was it the pollution of Seoul, that caused the moon to ripple? Donghyuck never really missed home anymore, but now that he was going to Mark’s home, miles upon miles away, he feels nostalgic for the cherry blossom lined streets and bright oranges that littered his house’s backyard. He felt so nostalgic that he even briefly considered writing to his mother, though the thought drifted and vanished as the moon did, curtained by passing clouds.
At the airport, Mark takes care of pretty much everything that needed to be done, taking Donghyuck’s passport and ticket like Donghyuck was still a minor that Mark needed to look after. Old habits die hard. Donghyuck would’ve teased Mark about it before, but he decides to give him a break. All day Mark had seemed antsy as if waiting for Donghyuck to change his mind and decide he didn’t want to go anymore, even when the ticket was already bought and Donghyuck wouldn’t waste money like that. Instead, Donghyuck preoccupies himself with checking his messages, a slew of "Take Care’s" and requests for souvenirs from the Dream kids. Ten hyung texted to not to storm off in a fit because Donghyuck would only get lost, but if he was really mad he could just throw something at Mark. Donghyuck wonders if Mark knows that Ten hyung indulges his temper.
“Should we buy instant noodles in case the airplane food isn’t any good?” Mark says.
“Fine by me,” Donghyuck shrugs, though honestly, he wanted to sleep through the whole flight, even if it was about 10 hours long.
They buy some noodles, including the udon ones that Mark knows Donghyuck likes.
When they’re seated comfortably, Mark starts to look a bit constipated, the way he does when he’s about to say something embarrassing or sentimental (his fully capable hyung, he even brought emotional constipation to a whole new level). Probably thanking Donghyuck for coming with him. To spare them both from the unneeded moment, Donghyuck cuts him off.
“Hey, can we share earphones? I think mine is broken.”
Mark looks at him as if measuring Donghyuck’s honesty (a fruitless endeavor, Donghyuck’s never really 100% honest about anything) before agreeing and taking out his earphones, giving one to Donghyuck.
Donghyuck falls asleep not even an hour in and only wakes up when Mark shakes him to eat. Blearily, he opens his eyes to Mark’s face, stringy chocolate brown hair and two pimples, eyes focused on Donghyuck. The unchanging visage of Mark’s face sometimes makes Donghyuck feel like he’s been transported back in time, because if he focused on Mark’s eyes, the slope of his nose, his upturned mouth, Donghyuck could fool himself into thinking that it was just any day, back when they were trainees or rookie idols, and Mark was just waking Donghyuck up for another practice session. It rips into him, the longing for that time, that easy, simple time before things got so complicated.
Donghyuck looks away from him and to the meal, some kind of unidentifiable meat drowning in brown curry sauce, and they both start eating, as Mark asks if he wanted to have some noodles as well. Donghyuck grunts an affirmative, but only because he knows how much Mark liked seeing him eat a lot. It was a hyung thing, a satisfaction that Donghyuck also feels when Jisung or Chenle cleaned their plates sparkling. Donghyuck shouldn’t be eating much, the release of the movie is only a month away, but Mark always encouraged Donghyuck’s desires, even the less than savory ones. Like eating more than he should, or going back in time.
Mark’s parents wait for them at the airport. His brother was staying at his fiance’s house which was a few hours away, but he was gonna come by soon to see Mark, too. Mark had told them not to bother, that he could hail a cab to take them home, but his parents had insisted on welcoming Donghyuck the minute he stepped on their homeland. The moment they land, there’s a squirming in Donghyuck’s stomach, the feeling he gets when he feels like he’s done something wrong. He really shouldn’t have come. Even though Mark’s parents assured him through skype that they can’t wait to meet him, would love to host him and show him around, he should have made something up about some last minute schedule. How can he agree to fly with Mark back home and meet Mark’s parents and go to Mark’s brother’s wedding? As if he had some right to all of this, like he had a part to play in this family’s reunion.
Mark interrupts his ruminating, saying, “Hey, we’re going,” with a smile so big that Donghyuck can’t help but smile back. This was only Mark’s second time to go home since debut, the first being right before Mark had turned 20 and NCT had gone on hiatus since SM had decided to focus on EXO before the members had to start going to the military. Unlike Donghyuck, who could go to Jeju more often, Mark knew that the times when he could come home would be few and far in between. He never complained about it, but Donghyuck knew that Mark never let on to any feelings that may get in the way of his work.
While they’re walking, Mark checks their passports and Donghyuck carries most of their hand carry bags. Mark stumbles a bit, not looking where he was going, and Donghyuck drops one of the bags to steady him.
“Are you really going to bring your clumsiness with you all the way to Canada, hyung?” Donghyuck asks wryly, Mark punching his shoulder lightly in retaliation.
The first thing Donghyuck notices is a poster. It was quite big, really, and at first, Donghyuck thought that it might’ve been some fans who wanted to greet Mark home. But closer inspection showed that the poster was a picture of Mark’s family, one that Donghyuck recognized as the same picture that Mark kept in his wallet. It was the four of them, Mark, his brother and his parents, all on a skating rink, posing. Mark and his brother had hockey gear on. At the top, in clear print, said Welcome home, Mark! The poster was held up by an enthusiastically waving couple, and Donghyuck is suddenly so, so overwhelmed.
Next to him, Mark heaves a sigh, and Donghyuck looks at him expecting maybe a bit of embarrassment, some color flooding into his cheeks at the grand gesture that never really suited Mark, but Mark was smiling wide, looking absolutely touched. He loved it. He looks at Donghyuck and Donghyuck’s breath hitches at how much emotion Mark’s face conveyed, how much love can transform a face.
When they meet, Mark throws his arms around his mother, who was about the same height as him. His father, a bit taller, ruffles his hair and goes in for a hug right after. Mark’s mother, Sam, turns and looks at Donghyuck with just as much love and excitement as she did when looking at her own son.
“Donghyuck, it is so nice to finally meet you in the flesh,” she says, holding him tight. She smelled earthy, as if she’d just been tending a garden before heading to the airport. It reminded Donghyuck of Jeju’s forests. Despite himself, Donghyuck can feel a stinging in his eyes, and he closes them tightly.
“Call me Sam, okay? Or, well, just Mom is fine too since I know Koreans don’t really do first names.”
“Let’s try Jin first before we resort to Dad, alright?” Mark’s father chimes in, patting Donghyuck’s back.
Donghyuck feels a bit surprised at how casual they were, how westernized their accents sounded, when they were both full blooded Korean, but Mark had said that they spent their college years in America before Mark and his brother were born and settled in Canada only after Matt turned one, so maybe it wasn’t that surprising.
“Thank you for hosting me and letting me stay in your home. It’s really nice to meet you,” Donghyuck says, his voice meek.
“Ah, a polite one,” Jin says, and Mark disguises a snort by coughing, “tell me, son, does that red hair hurt any? I’d been thinking of trying out the Rihanna look myself.” Donghyuck’s hair, which had been dyed red to brown to black to red again, because apparently his image with red hair had stuck, stayed red during the filming of his movie, where the director said that the red had suited his character, anyway.
“No, dad, you’ll go bald,” Mark protests, looking slightly horrified by the image. Sam laughs and adds, “you also don’t have enough hair or swagger to pull off Rihanna, dear.”
They’re interrupted when Jin decides to get the luggage and everyone insists on helping, Sam notably shutting any arguments down with the statement “If I can carry Mark around for nine months I can carry 27 pounds of luggage, thank you.” Donghyuck adores her.
While walking towards their car, Donghyuck whispers, “Did your mom really say the word swagger?”
“She probably started using it before we did.” Mark admits, chuckling. Donghyuck really only got into it after watching Weightlifting Fairy, anyway. And that was a year after it came out.
When they get into the car, Donghyuck fixes his seat belt, slapping Mark’s arm away when he tries to help. Fucking offensive, that boy. Just because they’re in another country doesn’t mean Donghyuck has lost all capability of taking care of himself.
“Alright there, boys?” Jin asks, looking at them in the rearview mirror. Both of them nod, and the car starts. Soon, Donghyuck is absorbed with looking at the unfamiliar landscapes that take over his window. Nothing really stood out from the usual skyscrapers of city architecture, although the streets were remarkably clean. The shine that Donghyuck imagined seeing was probably brought about by the fact that all these streets, this landscape, was Mark’s home.
“What do you think?”
Donghyuck turns his head and tenses a little because Mark was unexpectedly close, so close that he must be straining his seat belt, to look out of the same window that Donghyuck was looking at.
“What do you think? You’ve been away for years, after all.” Donghyuck counters.
“It isn’t that long to a city. I doubt much has changed aside from a few businesses shutting down or opening up. Chain stores, too, so it won’t be a big deal.”
“There’s a lot of...English.” Donghyuck finally says, looking at the passing road signs, billboards, and building signs that he could probably read and understand but were passing by too fast to do so. Mark bursts into laughter and leans his head forward to say something to Sam, probably about Donghyuck. Sam giggles and then swats Mark’s arm.
“Hey, we agreed before no English, mister. You’re being rude.”
“Yeah, don’t be insensitive!” Donghyuck chimes in, grinning at Mark when Mark leans back to his seat.
“But do you like it?” Mark asks, and Donghyuck looks at him, all earnest eyes and solemn face. Donghyuck suddenly remembers when he watched Mark during High School Rapper, all those years ago, when Mark was sitting down and watching the other contestants, assessing, learning. Mark’s best skills have always been his laser-sharp focus and long-term concentration. Everything else came and developed in consequence of them.
“I’ve barely seen anything yet. Give it a few days.”
“No, yeah, you’re right. Guess I’m too excited.” Mark breaks the stare, looking the other way with a small smile.
When they arrived at Mark’s house, Donghyuck is amazed by how modern it looked. It was predominantly white with some beige accents, and there was a lot of glass, too. It was also not that big, though Donghyuck was probably expecting too much. Mark had already said before that they weren’t rich, just thoroughly middle class, but Donghyuck had thought that Mark was being humble about it.
Jin helps them with their luggage, and Donghyuck is welcomed into the long hallway by a series of family pictures on the wall, a scrapbook of memories hung to greet them home. Some were of official gatherings, parties and graduations and recitals and swim meets, but others were obviously souvenirs from vacations, with backgrounds of the ocean, forests, and mountains. Mark’s brother, Matt, was also a lot more handsome than Donghyuck had thought, inheriting Jin’s angled jawline and sharp nose.
“Lots to take in, right?” Sam puts an arm around Donghyuck, peering at the pictures she organized herself.
“It’s really well put together...mom,” Donghyuck says, tasting the word on his tongue. He also wasn’t sure if he could say anything sarcastic about little Mark that wouldn’t sound insulting.
“Donghyuck’s good at arranging pictures, too,” Mark says, coming down from the staircase, “he decorated our room with those hanging strings and put pictures up using clips, it’s real nice.”
“Oh, really? Maybe you’d like to help me add some of Mark’s more recent pictures to the wall if there’s time, then,” Sam says.
“Oh--of course,” Donghyuck answers, surprised. He looks to Mark, who’s grinning at them both before excusing himself to get more of the luggage from the car.
After they finish getting all the luggage up, Mark takes Donghyuck on a tour of the house. He points out the dining room, the kitchen, the living room and the bathroom on the first floor, and on the second floor were his parents’ room, Mark’s room, Matt’s old room opposite of it, and the guest room down the hall. There was also a veranda that was closest to the guest room, that was mostly bare except for a few plastic chairs and a foldable table.
“It’s pretty late, so Mom is asking if you want a late night snack or if you wanna sleep off the jet lag first. Matt’s coming by tomorrow with Kris, his best man.” Mark says, entering the guest room where Donghyuck was unpacking his things.
“I think I can wait to eat until tomorrow. I’m not that tired, though,” Donghyuck says, closing the suitcase and pushing it under the bed.
“Okay, I’ll tell her. Dad and I are probably gonna have a beer on the veranda, you wanna come and join us?”
“Are you sure? I mean, don’t you want to talk to your old man without me around first? Catch up on stuff or reminisce about your brother?” Donghyuck feels that he should at least let Mark talk to his parents alone first before barging in on them.
“Nah, we’ll save that for the wedding itself. It’s not like I’d have anything to say that you don’t already know, anyway. Plus my dad’s a big fan, he says your voice is the best out of all the hyungs.” Mark says, and now Donghyuck knows he’s just teasing him. Still, he’d rather not, in case Jin had things to say that he didn’t want Donghyuck hearing.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Okay, just come out if you decide you want to. Or if you need anything, like extra pillows or blankets. Or if the heater is too low--”
“I got it, hyung. Don’t keep your dad waiting.” Donghyuck interrupts pointedly, causing Mark to cough awkwardly before leaving, closing the door quietly behind him. Donghyuck falls onto his bed with a hard thud, and wonders if he should wash up or just change into sleepwear before sleeping.
After a good hour of tossing and turning, he sighs and gets up to wash his face. There wasn’t anything particularly disturbing him, and it was pretty quiet outside, so Donghyuck had no idea why he was still awake for no reason. He usually slept pretty well in foreign places, something Mark and Taeyong hyung both envied him for. Maybe it was the time difference messing with his head. Or maybe Donghyuck just doesn’t want to think about how fucking strange all this is, and how he could have ended up here, in Canada, with Mark’s family, sleeping in Mark’s white guest room, tastefully decorated with a few art pieces of nature like paintings of waterfalls and a lot of horses, and this strange metal thing that looks like a totem. Sort of. Donghyuck wonders if totems could be used as art especially since Mark’s family was Christian, but decides that it really doesn’t bear thinking about at all.
After another hour passes, Donghyuck gets up and decides to check the veranda to see if Mark and his dad were still there, just to peek in case they were talking about something serious and Donghyuck shouldn’t interrupt.
When Donghyuck checks, he is greeted with Jin, standing up and reaching for another beer, with Mark nowhere in sight. Donghyuck freezes, wishing he could close the door quickly but Jin is already facing his direction, and he smiles a familiar, infuriating smile so much like Mark’s that it makes Donghyuck want to tear his teeth out because he loves it and hates it in equal measures.
“Can’t sleep?”
“Um, yeah, but it’s just--a lot of things on my mind, not the...” Donghyuck gestures to the house, feeling dumb, “the house or anything.” Someone punch him, he sounds 13 again.
“Wanna join me for a bit? Mark just headed out, sleepy drunk that one,” he chuckles, “you can pick your poison, we have a good variety, or so I’d like to think.”
“Um, alright,” Donghyuck says, because really at this point it’d be rude to refuse, and Mark should really miraculously come back and sense Donghyuck’s plight but he probably won’t because he’s not nearly as absolutely fully capable as he thinks, that ass, “just one, though.”
“Alright, come here, my son,” Jin says, beckoning him over with an open can, “let me tell you about Mark’s embarrassing childhood. Or you can tell me his embarrassing teenage life. Or we could do both if you have it in you.”
Donghyuck chuckles, grabbing a can of root beer, and says, “There’s not that much to say, honestly, Mark-hyung’s the company’s golden boy for a reason.” Even now, when it’s been a year since any of the original NCT members had gone active, Mark and Taeyong hyung were both given a lot of support in producing their own rap albums. At this point, Taeyong hyung’s album sales matched Taeyon noona, and Mark’s was projected to do just as well.
“Oh, you don’t mean that. You know, when Mark was born, we had a hell of a time cutting the umbilical cord. It was in a weird position, and my wife was saying that this kid was definitely going to stumble through life if he couldn’t even come out of the womb properly.”
“That’s...really gross,” Donghyuck says, laughing, “but I get it. He’s fallen a number of times on stage, though it’s never that obvious or at a live stage where it couldn’t be edited out. He also trips in the dorm a lot.”
“Now that’s the Mark I remember. It was strange, even though I could see him growing every time we skyped, I didn’t really think about how tall he’d be, though let’s be honest it really wasn’t by that much, it hit me, man, my son’s 25. 25! He’s got a five o’clock shadow and he’s bringing a boy home--” Jin stops, seeming to realize what he just said, then glances at Donghyuck’s frozen expression, staring at the beer can on the table.
“Ah, you know, it’s alright,” Jin says, “Mark hasn’t really mentioned much to me, but parents get a sense of these things, no matter how many miles apart we are. Neither of us mind, but of course you can come tell us in your own time, we’ll respect that.”
“No, that’s…” Donghyuck stares at his beer can and briefly wonders if it was the acid in his stomach that was making it hurt, “we’re not like that. I’m sorry.” He wanted to throw up but he knew that nothing would come out.
“...Oh? Damn, I’m sorry, my wife always tells me I get ahead of myself too often,” Mark’s dad says, though his expression was a strange mix of guilt and disbelief, and Donghyuck knows he isn’t fully convinced. Donghyuck isn’t fully convinced, either.
“No, I guess it does sort of seem that way, coming home with him for his brother’s wedding and all that.” Even Donghyuck doesn’t really know what he’s doing, in what capacity he was coming into Mark’s family fold. He could have asked why, but that would lead to answers that Donghyuck was afraid to hear. It was safer to go along without asking. It was also just hard to say no to Mark, regardless of his own reservations.
“Oh, you’re always welcome here, Donghyuck. Whether as Mark’s best friend or something else. We know how well you’ve taken care of our son, and we’re very thankful he has you.”
“You’re better at speaking than Mark hyung is.” Donghyuck says, hopefully cutting off the previous topic completely. They would be betrayed if they found out what he’d done to their precious son. Donghyuck hopes they never find out.
“Oh yeah, well I was pretty bad at it before I met my wife. I sort of had to, you know, get with the program for our relationship. It caused a lot of problems before.” Mark’s dad admits, face turning melancholy as he remembered.
Mark-hyung could take some lessons, Donghyuck doesn’t say, because that just makes it sound like Donghyuck was like Mark’s mom, and their relationship wasn’t like that.
“Alright, let me tell you about the time we went camping and Matt had fooled him into thinking he was being chased by a bear,” Jin starts, smiling, and Donghyuck allows his voice to lull him away from the rising bitterness that has become a familiar aftertaste when saying Mark’s name.