Work Text:
jerheere has posted a new video: “When Your Roommate Has No Chill”
“Chillers? Dude that sounds like a frozen drink, I can't call them that,” Jeremy says off camera. Hands waving at the far left side of the screen.
“C’mon, it’d be funny,” Michael says, coming into view. He wears a red hoodie, his signature one, patches adorning his right arm. He looks straight at the camera, a concentrated look on his face.
“I’m not having another meme about—”
“Fuck, this is recording. Jer, you’re wasting the battery this way, and your memory.”
“Shit, I could've sworn I turned off,” Jeremy says, the top of his head coming into view at the top of the screen. Michael makes a foul gesture, sticking his tongue out and making the worst face possible.
The video cuts to the intro, then back to Jeremy, sitting in front of his, well, Michael’s, collection of vintage video games. “Welcome back guys—” He begins cheerily.
“You guys’ name is now Chillers, this has been confirmed by your overlord Michael Mell, AKA gaymell, subscribe to me on Youtube, follow me on Twitter—” Michael’s voice is heard off camera, and Jeremy quickly gets up, visibly annoyed but amused, walking off camera. A struggle is heard, there are laughter and indistinct voices, and a door is shut.
The video cuts back to Jeremy, sitting back in his original place.
“Let’s try this again, without any interruptions. Welcome back, guys! If you're new here, well, good luck because this channel is a mess. Good thing you're starting here though. To my not so new guys — uh, welcome back again I guess?
“Today I’m going to be showing you guys what it's like when your roommate has no chill and is a huge drama queen.”
The video cuts to another scene, Jeremy sits on a chair that is shaped like a marijuana leaf, typing rapidly on his laptop. His entire focus seems to be on whatever is happening on his tiny laptop screen.
In walks Michael, holding a Mountain Dew and a lit joint.
“Michael, I’m literally filming you can't be smoking weed in this scene.” Jeremy says when he notices the blunt in Michael’s hand.
Michael looks over at Jeremy. “I thought I was supposed to have no chill? Zero chill? Isn't that what you said?”
“Yeah, but there has to be some chill, you can't do drugs, what if a little person sees this and thinks it's cool and does drugs?”
Michael gives him a dull look and raises the blunt to his mouth.
“Michael, don't you fucking dare,” Jeremy says, beginning to stand, putting his laptop to the side.
Michael puts the blunt to his lips, and Jeremy stands up fully, arms out, almost ready to challenge his roommate.
“Michael,” He says in a warning tone.
Michael breathes in and breathes the smoke in Jeremy’s face.
“Michael!” Jeremy says, voice cracking, swatting the smoke from his face, pretending to gag.
It is then that Michael runs off camera, his laughter fading as he gets further away.
Jeremy looks straight at the camera that same annoyed yet amused look on his face, and said, “Don't do drugs, kids.”
The video cuts to Jeremy, back in front of his vintage video games, a hand on his face, shaking his head.
The video then cuts to Jeremy in a new scene, now sitting in his bed, it was red and blue striped, just like the shirt he wore. A shirt that is commonly seen on his YouTube and other social medias, his own signature shirt.
He holds a book, seemingly immersed in it.
Michael is heard, groaning in the hallway. Jeremy seems to hear it, but ignores it and continues reading, flipping the page.
Another groan, louder now, is heard from the hallway. Jeremy rolls his eyes dramatically, still continuing to read.
“Jeremy,” the groan is now a word, if groans can be words. At this point it seemed Jeremy can no longer ignore it, shutting the book and heads over to the camera. It wobbles as it is taken off the tripod by Jeremy, and the screen shows Jeremy’s bedroom door, which is covered in posters of old video games and a large marijuana leaf poster adorning the very center, definitely put there by Michael.
Jeremy's hand reaches out and opens the door, revealing Michael, laying face down on the floor.
“What is your deal?” Jeremy asks from behind the camera.
Michael doesn't move as he says, “We're out of Mountain Dew.”
“Then go get some.”
“Nooo it wouldn't be the same, you have to go with me to get it.” His voice is muffled by the carpet.
“I’m literally filming right now, Michael.”
Michael then looks up at the camera, his face looks like a puppy that had just been kicked, and his hand reaches out beyond the camera’s vision.
“Please, Jer, I need it,” His voice grows hoarse. “It's the only thing keeping me alive.”
The camera wobbles a bit. “Stop shaking my leg.”
“Mountain Dew,” Michael says, his voice becoming a forced whisper.
“You are literally the worst roommate ever.”
“Does that mean Mountain Dew?”
“If you get off my leg.” Michael springs up, looking extremely pleased with himself.
The video cuts to Michael in a grocery aisle, holding a carton of Mountain Dew in his lap, fake crying. “I am the luckiest man in the world, to have such a drink in my life.”
The video cuts to a new scene, Jeremy in the kitchen, opening the fridge.
“Michael?” He calls, shutting the door, a displeased look on his face.
“What?”
“Did you already drink the twelve Mountain Dews we literally just bought?”
“If I say yes will you be mad?”
“Very.”
“Then no,” Michael burps. “No, I did not.”
Jeremy runs a hand down his face, groaning loudly.
The video cuts to Michael, sitting on Jeremy’s lap, his thick legs crossed.
“Am I allowed to live my life now?” Jeremy asks, shifting under Michael. “You've been sitting on me for an hour, dude.”
Michael shakes his head, now crossing his arms. “I am suffering from Mountain Dew deficiency, I cannot move until I’m promised more.”
Jeremy looks into the like in The Office and pushes Michael off his lap. He falls to the carpet with a thud, out of frame.
“I can't believe you would hurt me like this, I feel so betrayed.”
Jeremy leans over him, “You literally fell two feet, you're fine.”
“I am DYING Jer, I am dying and I am dead.”
The video cuts back one last time.
“This is a video to expose Michael Mell, weed smoker and Mountain Dew addict. Unsubscribe to him as soon as possible, he is a bad friend,” the words “Bad Friend™” appear on the screen, overlaid onto a photo of Michael.
“I heard that!” Michael's voice is heard from offscreen.
“Stay tuned for the next installment of when Michael has literally no chill, and don't forget to subscribe to our shit posting channel and our game channel, link’s in the description!”
“Stay cold, chillers!” Michael says from off camera.
“Michael!”