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With a flick of her wrist, Demencia tipped over another antique vase, cackling as it shattered all over the rug. She lept from the floor and onto the wall, and proceeded to crawl up with her arms and legs like a lizard. When she reached the ceiling, she looked down and saw 505, clad in his maid uniform, kneel on the floor and sweep up the mess in a dustpan. She chuckled to herself and skittered past ruby chandeliers. Suddenly, her long green hair caught onto one of the said chandeliers, making a loud, jingling ruckus as she yanked her ponytail free. Then she heard 505 cry--or whatever sound a bear makes when they find a troublemaker--and saw him grab the long broom, and run after her.
“Uh oh!” She bit her tongue as she hurried away. 505 batted at her clumsily at her sides for her to come down, stirring up dust in the process.
“Ack--aha, that tickles--ah--aha--” Her nose scrunched up and she slowed down. “Ah...Ah...ah--CHOO!!”
She lost her grip on the flat surface, and felt air rush past her as she fell--until she landed squarely onto 505’s stomach. Once he had recovered from getting the air knocked out of him, he looked up at Demencia with eyes wide with worry.
“Thanks for breaking my fall, big guy!” Demencia dug her nails behind his ears and scratched them until his hind leg thumped the ground like a dog’s. He even panted like one, and Demencia grinned. Nothing like a good ear scratch to make 505 forget whatever he was even remotely upset about.
Just before she could rub his big, soft belly, her ears picked up a familiar voice down the hall.
“Keep it down, you two!” boomed Black Hat. Demencia and 505 looked up, and saw Black Hat leaning around the corner with phone in hand. “I’m on an important phone call!”
When he disappeared from sight, Demencia cocked her head with a mischievous, curious expression on her face. She stood up while 505 brushed off his apron and resumed cleaning. Meanwhile Demencia pressed her back to the wall and slid closer, closer, closer…until she could hear Black Hat’s voice.
“Yes, yes… Same as usual… What?! Of course I’m remembering to brush my teeth!”
Demencia blinked. When she peeked around the corner, she studied Black Hat’s expression. He leaned against the wall while he talked into the candlestick telephone. His eyes glazed over in disinterest as he nodded along to the voice on the phone.
“Hm? Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that…” Suddenly, he jerked receiver away from his ear with a grimace. A voice--a feminine voice--screeched from the speaker. Once it ceased, Black Hat barked, “You don’t have to shout just because it’s a long distance call!!”
“ Who doesn’t have to shout?” Demencia asked as she jumped in front of Black Hat.
“Ack!” He yelped as the phone flew from his hands. Before he could catch it, Demencia’s hands took it from him.
“Hello? Who is this?” Demencia demanded into the phone. “Black Hat’s rival? Girlfriend? Ex--girlfriend?”
“Eh?” said the voice. “What? Douglas, is that you?”
“Huh?” Demencia’s face went slack. “Who’s Doug--”
Before she could finish, Black Hat snatched the phone from her, almost cutting her face to pieces with his claws, and cried into the phone, “Mother, please, I have a reputation--”
“Mother?!” Demencia’s eyes grew as big as saucer plates and her mouth fell just as wide.
“Demencia, quiet!” He hissed, then went back to the phone. “Yes, now what were you say--what? What do you mean… But why?!” He held the receiver away as the phone shrilled again. “Okay, okay, I’ll do it! Just stop shouting!” Inhaling deeply, he slowly handed the phone to Demencia. Without making eye contact, he grumbled, “She...wishes to speak with you.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you, who else?!” He shoved the phone into her hands. Then he turned around, crossed his arms, and huffed like a spoiled brat. Blinking slowly, Demencia raised the talk piece and said, “Uh, hi?”
“Why, hello, dearie! You must be that nice girl my Douglas--Ruglas tells me so much about! Demencia, wasn’t it?”
Demencia snickered. “Is that Black Hat’s--?”
“Oh yes, my little Douglas is your Black Hat! But I just can’t help calling him Douglas--Ruglas. Isn’t it just the cutest nickname?”
“Pffft! Y--yeah--!”
“So glad you agree! Now, where was I…? Oh yes. Tell me, do you make sure my lil’ baby stays safe while doing his evil deeds? And that he eats properly? And remembers to brush his teeth?”
“More or less.”
Black Hat suddenly growled over his shoulder, “She better not tell you about the summer camp incident, or else.”
Demencia froze, staring at Black Hat, then whispered into the phone, “Psst, what was the summer camp incident?”
“Demencia!!” He grabbed the phone. “Mother, I’ll have to call you back… Yes, yes, I know…” He sighed. “Fine...good bye...Love you, too.” He shut his eyes as he hung up the phone and returned it to it’s spot on the table.
Silence.
“So…” Demencia leaned against Black hat’s shoulder. “Douglas--Ruglas~”
“Don’t you ever dare to call me that,” Black Hat’s teeth grew sharper as he snarled. “Or else.”
She shrugged, folded her arms behind her head, and walked away. After a few carefree paces, she said, “Y’know, your mom sounds pretty cool. I bet she’d make a great mother--in--la--”
“Demencia!!!” Black Hat roared as he transformed into an enormous monstrosity with fangs, red eyes, and gagged claws.
She merely laughed and skipped down the hall, humming to herself.