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Tanaka never thought the day would come that he'd be left behind by Ohta. They were basically glued at the hip, never apart for too long, alwways as close as they were meant to be (or that's what Tanaka thought, at least) and even though they'd never made any kind of promise to look back on, he was pretty sure that it would never happen. But it did, and it hurt a lot more than he thought it would, leaving him to what his friends had called a "triple listlessness special", to which he just grunted and tried to sleep, pale arms trying to muffle the sounds of the outside world that suddenly seemed a lot more bright and annoying than it had ever before, leaving him with an eye-strain and a strange feeling of tightness on his whole body. Hungry, Tanaka thought, I'm just hungry.
But he knew he wasn't hungry, he wasn't really asleep and, above all, he wasn't impartial to the 'good news' Ohta had delivered that exact same morning.
She was a nice girl, really. She made a lot of dumb jokes and baked sweets for both Ohta and him, and didn't comment on Tanaka's laziness even when it seemed weird.
Tanaka liked her.
But then Ohta decided that he wanted to live with her instead of him after highschool. Fair enough, Tanaka thought. It's not like Ohta's abandoning him, they'll still see each other every day and he could always stay with his sister. All good.
Then, after a while of living together, they went everywhere together. Never left each other's sides unless strictly necessary, and then they would sulk about it to everyone else.
That's how in love they were, and Tanaka was only barely in the picture anymore.
Not good.
Even if it felt like he was being left behind, Tanaka still clinged on the small hope that Ohta still considered him his friend, because they didn't even feel like that anymore. So he just kept sleeping for way too many hours and eating way too little like he was in some kind of mourning ritual for his barely living friendship.
And then morning came, bringing along the very happy and in love couple that was Ohta and his to-be bride.
Bride.
It still didn't feel right, the look on Ohta's eyes when he said it. They were too bright and the pupils a little too big, an expression Tanaka had never seen on him before, but chose to “ignore” and cheered them on the best he could while keeping the same i-don't-care-just-let-me-sleep act he'd been wearing like a second skin all his life.
The pain in his chest was awfully persistent and so was the dust in his eye. He kept trying to get it out, but all that came of it was a wet pillow and a sleepless night, the first he'd had in his whole life.
He just laid there, looking at the ceiling, blank as his own expression, and daydreaming about what Ohta would do were they still as close as before.
He'd probably get that shocked look on his face first. Then he'd stutter a little and try to make the water from his eyes stop, failing miserably to do so, because the dust was stubborn and didn't leave until Ohta finally decided that the best way to help Tanaka was to give him mouth-to-mouth breathing.
Yeah, that would be nice.
But it wasn't real, and that was what Tanaka needed the most. Even if it wasn't something as affectionate as a kiss or a hug, he wanted something to keep clinging onto. A hand hold, a mindless observation of his listless behavior or a small look of fondness. Even just a smile thrown on his direction would be enough. Anything to feel wanted by him again.
His phone screen started flickering.
10 missed calls read on the screen along with 20 new messages.
All from his sister, none from Ohta.
He turned off the phone and left it on the night stand, suddenly feeling way too sleepy to even read them, and nuzzled his pillow in hopes he wouldn't get it soaked again, but he did, and it was so uncomfortable he couldn't sleep again.
So he stares at the ceiling again, almost wishing for it to talk to him because that's how lonely he was without a tall blond guy to tell him how tasty the chocolate from the new candy shop around the corner was.