Chapter Text
The Color of Spring
Chapter 1 - Purple Clouds
"The rain began again. It fell heavily, easily, with no meaning or intention but the fulfillment of its own nature, which was to fall and fall."
-Helen Garner
------
Ichimatsu needed a break.
That had been the main reason he opted to walk home instead of taking the family vehicle back. Jyushimatsu had offered to go with him of course, but no one pushed too hard when Ichimatsu insisted that he would rather go alone. It would only take him about 30 minutes anyway and the fresh air, free of disinfectant and other such sterile smells, would hopefully clear his head a bit.
Shoving his hands in his pockets, he allowed himself to take some deep breathes. He hated hospitals. Ichimatsu learned pretty quick that he couldn’t deal with that kind of atmosphere. Going everyday, while necessary, was suffocating. He wasn’t sure how his Mom and Karamatsu could stay for hours upon hours like they did. If he were the type to speak up about such things, he’d suggest they leave a little more often but he knew that wouldn’t go over well anyway. He’d stumble over his words, it would come out wrong and people would just think he didn’t care. It was better to stay silent and let people do what they wanted sometimes.
A soft breeze suddenly blew past him and Ichimatsu shivered as he tired to huddle in on himself. The breeze had a slight chill, which probably meant it was going to start raining again. He grumbled and picked up his pace slightly. The probably of it raining was pretty high given that spring was in full force. The cherry blossoms had yet come into full bloom but Ichimatsu had seen the buds and figured it would be happening any day now.
He was disrupted from that thought at the sound of someone saying his name, though it sounded distant. He turned around but he couldn’t see anyone behind him. There were a couple of people across the street but they weren’t paying him any mind. Sighing, he continued on but shortly after, he swore he heard it again. Stopping fully this time, he looked more closely around himself. However, nothing once again greeted him. Visibly annoyed, he pulled up his face mask fully and continued his brisk pace.
As Ichimatsu reached the last leg of his walk, he found himself hesitating at the usual intersection. He could smell the rain coming by that point but after some debating, he opted to take a detour down to the ally where most of his cat friends hung out. He found he still wasn’t quite ready to go home yet. The atmosphere there hadn’t been so great lately either. Ichimatsu was certain he’d get a stink eye for dallying but when he felt a soft paw bating at his leg, he found he didn’t really care if he got a lecture.
“Hey, I’m sorry I haven’t been by much lately.” A small smile graced his face as he bent down to give the cat some scratches behind it’s ear. “How has everyone else been doing? I don’t have snacks today but I can-”
“Oh, wow! I didn’t realize you talk to them.”
Ichimatsu nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of a voice behind him. A very familiar voice.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, but you’ve been ignoring me the whole way here so…”
Ichimatsu was frozen completely in place and he couldn’t bring himself to turn around. The voice sounded so normal.
“Hello, Earth to Nii-san? It’s pretty obvious that you can hear me, so the pranks over. You can stop pretending.”
When Ichimatsu still couldn’t bring himself to move, he heard a sigh as the other person brought themselves into his view instead.
Looking straight at him with a confused expression was his youngest brother, Todomatsu.
“You look real pale, Ichimatsu Nii-san. Well, you’re always pale but you look worse than usual.” Todomatsu remarked.
Ichimatsu suddenly felt like he was going to be sick but with very good reason. There was no way this could be Todomatsu.
His baby brother was lying in a hospital bed, still in a coma, not even 20 minutes ago.
“H-h-how, n-no, w-who…?” It wasn’t exactly the most intelligible question, if it could even be called that. Formulating coherent thoughts was proving to be terribly difficult.
“Umm…seriously?” Todomatsu waited a bit but when it appeared he was getting no other reaction, he laughed nervously, “Nii-san, are you sure you’re doing ok? You look like you saw a ghost.”
At that, Ichimatsu finally lost it. Well, lost the contents of his stomach.
“Ah, gross! Ok, ok. We’ve uh, we’ve got to get you home.” The younger of the two was visibly flustered and started fussing about.
Once Ichimatsu regained some composure, he glanced up but nearly lost it again, “F-float…y-you…floating...” Formulating thoughts into words was still difficult it seemed.
“Huh?” The pink clad boy stopped his flailing and looked about himself. Indeed, he was slightly off the ground. Todomatsu curled into himself but stayed suspended. “Wait! W-what’s going on?? Why am I floating??” He squeezed his eyes shut and cried.
Many awkward moments passed on with Ichimatsu still frozen in place and Todomatsu stuck suspended slightly off the ground, rightfully sobbing.
“I’m floating, am I a ghost?? Am I dead?? What’s happening??”
The pathetic plea in Todomatsu’s voice snapped Ichimatsu out of his trance.
“I’m s-sure this is just a bad dream! It’s not real.”
“What are you talking about?” The other wailed.
“It’s just a result of stress. Lots happened and this isn’t real. Y-yeah…that’s it.” Ichimatsu shakily stood, “I’m stressed and you’re just an illusion, see?”
He went to put his hand on the other’s shoulder and even though he had been expecting it to go through, when it actually happened, a sick wave went through him again. Ichimatsu was back on his knees and Todomatsu looked absolutely distraught.
“I am a ghost!” The other hiccupped and floated slightly higher.
“N-no, no! This isn’t real because you’re at the hospital. I was just there!”
“Hospital?!”
“There was an accident. You…are, were – no! are, in a coma.” Ichimatsu brought his hands up to his head in an attempt to steady himself. This was too much.
“So what if I died just now then? What if I died and now…” Todomatsu’s voice trailed off and he sniffled.
Ichimatsu jolted up from his position on the ground, “D-don’t say that! Karamatsu and Mom are still at the hospital. I would have heard something.”
“How!? You aren’t home and it’s not like you own a cellphone!” Todomatsu reprimanded.
Ichimatsu’s eyes widened and he swore he felt his heart sink right down to the pit of his stomach.
What if – no! There was no way.
He frantically stood and ran as best he could out the ally. Home was closer from this point than the hospital was. If he checked there, he could put his mind at ease and hopefully determine just what was going on. He vaguely registered that it had started spitting rain after all. Feeling the cool drops on his face only made him feel more sick as it made this dream, because this was definitely just a messed up dream, feel way more real.
“Hey! D-don’t leave me here!” Todomatsu cried and followed after him.
Ichimatsu turned and tried his best to steady himself again but the sight of his youngest brother floating beside him made that pretty hard. His thoughts were spinning around alarmingly fast in his head and he could feel himself getting dizzy.
The rest of the way home had been mostly a blur. Adrenaline had brought him this far and as he looked frantically around the house, it thankfully didn’t take long before he bumped into someone.
“Ichimatsu? Be a bit more careful when..." Choromatsu paused as he took in his brother’s appearance, “Were you running? What happened, did you get caught in the rain?”
“Is..is...” Ichimatsu struggled as he attempted to catch his breath. His mind was still buzzing but his body couldn’t keep up, “T-t-t-
Sensing the others distress, Chormatsu gently placed a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder, “Hey, It’s ok. Take a moment to catch your breath.”
Ichimatsu glanced up and saw Choromatsu’s eyebrows furrowed in worry but he had on that oddly reassuring smile of his. It was a bit soothing.
Breathe in and out.
After following his older brother’s advice, Ichimatsu realized just how spent he was, both mentally and physically. He practically collapsed onto Choromatsu.
“A-ah, Ichimatsu!?”
Damn it! Ask him ask him ask-
Ichimatsu saw specks of black begin to flood his vision as he heard Choromatsu calling for Jyushimatsu’s help. The last thing he saw was a flash of pink in the corner of his eye.
--
The moon was hanging high in the sky by the time Ichimatsu woke up. The room was dark but the moonlight coming from the window allowed everything to be bathed in a pale glow. Glancing around himself, Ichimatsu noticed that everyone else appeared to be asleep. Even Karamatsu seemed to be dozing beside him. That was good. Karamatsu hadn’t been sleeping much. Looking at him, Ichimatsu couldn’t help but notice the empty spot beside his older brother where Todomatsu would normally sleep.
…Todomatsu!?
Sitting suddenly upright, he began looking around frantically but couldn’t see any sign of his pink-clad little brother. As he went to stand, he realized his chest had a dull ache. He couldn’t be certain if it had been from the burst of running earlier or from the panic he had experienced. It was probably due to a bit of both.
Tch.
“Ichimatsu?”
Looking down, he saw Karamatsu starring back up at him. He guessed his rustling must have woken the other up. That, or Karamatsu hadn’t actually fallen asleep yet. It was most likely the latter. Ichimatsu eased himself back down but couldn’t help still glancing around every now and then. Seeing Todomatsu in the ally had felt entirely all too real to just brush off.
“Ichimatsu…” Karamatsu repeated but now in a whisper so as not to wake the others, “How are you feeling? Choromatsu said you had a panic attack?”
He couldn’t exactly deny that he had made a bit of scene earlier.
“So?”
“Umm, well…” Karamatsu sat up himself, “It’s been…tough, lately. I know we’re all handling things differently. I mean, especially given how-
“Stop. It’s fine.”
It wasn’t really fine but Ichimatsu hated this. He preferred it when his older brother talked with that weird bravado of his. It was actually easier to deal with him that way. Talking about feelings? Ugh.
“Oh…ok then. You seem somewhat distracted though. Are you sure you’re alright?” Karamatsu questioned.
Ichimatsu was about to brush him off again but remembered that he did want to ask something. He couldn’t shake the feeling unless he knew for certain and figured he might as well ask now. He looked down and made his voice low.
“You were at the hospital till the end of visiting hours again, right? How, umm, how was he…when you left?”
Karamatsu gave a very small smile but it didn't reach his eyes, “The same. I think there might have been a bit more color in his cheeks today though? Mom said she thought so as well.”
Ichimatsu nodded and went to stand again. Karamatsu jolted slightly.
“Brother, where are you going?”
Ichimatsu looked back down, “Just to the roof. I need some air.” When he saw Karamatsu also get up to stand he put a hand out gently to stop him, “Alone. Sorry, I just…need some time to think. You should try going back to sleep anyways.” When he noticed his older brother giving yet another small smile he quickly fumbled, “I-its ‘cause you look like shit!” He walked to the door, “Do whatever, I don’t care.”
Then he marched out of the room.
---
Ichimatsu sighed. He was really thankful the rain had eased off from earlier. The roof was a nice place to relax, especially at night. Wrapped in a blanket, he had a cat in his lap and the moon over his head. He could almost forget about the ache in his chest and the slight throb in his head. He really needed to relax. What happened earlier had just been a result of stress. Todomatsu was safe, at the hospital and-
“Hey…”
That voice.
“Nii-san! Wait, please don’t freak out! I know we both kinda did – ok, really did – earlier but-
He’s here, again!?
“Oh my gosh, don’t fall off the roof! Calm down, please!”
Hold on...
“Nii-san, where are you going?!”
“Osomatsu. He’ll see you and-and he’ll know what to do!”
He’s the oldest, it’s his job. He’ll figure out what this is all about and-
“He can’t see me!” Todomatsu called out.
Ichimatsu froze on his way towards the ladder.
“Umm, what?”
“You’re the only one who can see me.” Todomatsu sighed before speaking, “Believe me, after you passed out earlier, I tried.”
“Well…how hard did you try?”
That obviously had been the wrong thing to say. Todomatsu floated slightly off the ground and looked like he was ready to punch something.
“What do you think?!”
Ichimatsu shrank back as his brother continued, still disturbingly floating.
“I yelled and screamed as loud as I could! I stood right in front of them! I tried grabbing them or throwing things but…whenever I tried that, my hand would just go through.” Todomatsu then suddenly started sniffling, becoming visibly more upset as he went on, “I-its not like I know what’s wrong or why this is happening!”
“H-hey. Umm...” Ichimatsu tried approaching him, “We need to figure that out. We should uh, sit down and calm down?”
The youngest kept sniveling but looked at him, “That’s what I was trying to say but you went and like, tried jumping off the roof the second you saw me!”
“Sorry…gut reaction.”
“What kind of gut reaction is that?” Todomatsu grimaced, tears beginning to dry.
“Hey, you really startled me! Speaking of, can you…I don’t know, stop with the floating? It’s freaking me out.”
Todomatsu looked down, “Oh, sorry, it just sorta happens but I think I can control it.” He wiped at his nose with his sleeve and hovered down until his feet appeared to be touching the roof.
Ichimatsu let out a breath, “Good, thanks. Umm, so…” The image of his brother lying in a hospital bed from just earlier that day flashed in his mind. Ichimatsu could feel his stomach twisting into a thousand knots as he forced himself to ask, “Who are you exactly because...you’re not Todomatsu. You can't be."
The other crossed his arms, “Of course I’m Todomatsu! You seriously can’t tell?”
Ichimatsu gave a careful look at the boy in front of him. He couldn’t argue that the pink hoodie, cuffed jeans and look of absolute annoyance were spot on.
“Well…you look and act like Todomatsu but there’s just no way. Todomatsu's in the hospital and...”
“So why am I here then? It's weird and whatever but we have to get past that so we can figure out what's going on.”
It was very like Todomatsu to take charge and try to direct a situation but Ichimatsu really didn't find the other's argument very convincing and still couldn’t help taking a step back. Ghostly like apparitions of people you know isn't exactly something someone can just 'get past.'
“Really! It's me, Nii-san and we have to figure out why I’m like this.” When Ichimatsu kept staring at him looking like he was about to bolt at any second, Todomatsu groaned, “Fine, OK. Who else but me would know about that time we found Karamatsu’s ‘dream board’ stashed away in the bathroom closet? We swapped out the pictures, remember? Or just last week, you and I replaced his coffee creamer with Alka Seltzer and he still tried drinking the coffee after cleaning up all the mess! We didn’t tell anyone about either of those ‘cause we were worried they’d tell him.” Todomatsu narrowed his eyes, “...You didn’t tell anyone, right?”
“Well, no! O-of course not but…”
Todomatsu had been looking at Ichimatsu expectantly but they both turned around at the sound of someone coming up the ladder.
Great. If it’s Shittymatsu, I swear…
“Nii-san, why are you yelling?? I can’t sleep!”
Ichimatsu sighed in relief. It was just Jyushimatsu.
“Ah, Jyushi, sorry.”
“You were yelling, Nii-san! Why were you yelling?” Jyushimatsu tilted his head in confusion as he approached closer.
Ichimatsu glanced over at Todomatsu, who was still standing just behind him. “I was…well.” He wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence.
Jyushimatsu wasn’t reacting to Todomatsu’s presence at all but Ichimatsu could still see their youngest brother. He was torn whether to say anything or not. Would that help at all? Before he could make a decision, Todomatsu suddenly started sniffling again, and Ichimatsu stuttered, “Ah! D-don’t cry!”
“I’m not crying Nii-san!” Jyushimatsu chimed in.
Ichimatsu frantically turned towards Jyushimatsu again, “No, no!” This situation was already becoming too much and he could feel his pulse increasing. “Jyushi, c-can you really not see?”
“See what Ichimatsu Nii-san?” Noticing his older brothers distress at the answer, Jyushimatsu began frantically pointing at things, “Oh, The moon? I see! It’s so bright! Or…the stars? There are so many!”
Todomatsu, still trying to hold back tears, walked a bit closer to Jyushimatsu, looking very sad. Ichimatsu couldn’t bring himself to move but he pointed at Todomatsu, “N-no Jyushi. Closer. What do you see?”
Jyushimatsu brought his sleeve up to his mouth, “Umm…” He looked truly confused as he stared straight at Todomatsu, “There’s nothing there Nii-san. I don’t get this game.”
Todomatsu broke down, tears freely falling now, “See, I told you! They can’t see me! E-even Jyushi, he...” The youngest didn’t complete his sentence as he cried.
“I-I’m sorry…” Ichimatsu felt absolutely helpless.
“Why are you sorry Nii-san? The game wasn’t fun but that’s OK!” Jyushimatsu jumped up and down, “Let’s play some midnight baseball! 3, 2, 1…Homerun!”
“N-no. Not that, its…”
“Why is it like this? Why am I like this?” Todomatsu wailed.
“P-please don’t cry!”
“But I’m not crying, Nii-san.” Jyushimatsu stopped jumping and looked really concerned.
Ichimatsu put his hands up, his pulse quickening further. Seeing both of his baby brothers upset was getting to him, “I know, I know…just…what can I d-do?”
Todomatsu was wiping his eyes on his sleeve when Jyushimatsu decided to walk closer to Ichimastu, eyes worried, “Ichimatsu Nii-san, what’s going on?”
“It’s-
All words got stuck in Ichimatsu’s throat as he watched Jyushimatsu get closer.
What happened next, seemed to happen in slow motion. Jyushimatsu kept approaching until eventually, he walked right through Todomatsu.
Not past. Not around. Through.
Ichimatsu felt sick again and couldn’t stop himself as he spewed up what little was left in his stomach. Time seemed to catch up as Jyushimatsu ran and was at his brother’s side in an instant, rubbing his back.
In turn, Todomatsu gripped himself tight and turned around wide eyed. Ichimatsu managed to meet his gaze and slumped against Jyushimatsu. The latter very worriedly glanced back and forth between his older brother and the spot where he was looking.
“I think we should go back to bed, Ichimatsu Nii-san.”
Ichimatsu let Jyushimatsu practically carry him back inside the house. He wasn’t able to be sure if Todomatsu had followed or not.
--
The next morning started out the same as almost every morning had for roughly the past two weeks. Everybody woke up, washed up, ate a very simple breakfast, and then prepared to get in the vehicle for the morning hospital visit.
Ichimatsu hadn’t seen ‘ghost Todomatsu’ all morning and he wasn’t sure whether to be relived or worried. Jyushimatsu had stayed especially close by his side but conveniently wandered off when Osomatsu approached.
“Hey, Ichimatsu. Do you have a moment before we head out?”
“Y-yeah, sure.”
They left the others to continue putting on shoes and raincoats while they stepped into the privacy of the kitchen.
Osomatsu closed the door and turned to him, “So, I heard you had a pretty rough day yesterday. Are you doing alright?”
Leave it to Osomatsu to get straight to the point.
“Yeah.” He shrugged and looked at his oldest brother, “I’m fine. I just…” Ichimatsu’s words stalled in his throat.
Todomatsu was suddenly standing right behind Osomatsu.
Well shit.
Osomatsu looked over his shoulder before looking back at Ichimatsu and crossing his arms, obviously concerned, “You know, it might be best if you stay home today?
Ichimatsu blinked and brought his focus back to Osomatsu while Todomatsu watched, “N-no. I should go…”
“It’s ok, everyone understands.” Ichimatsu noticed then just how tired Osomatsu’s eyes looked, “It’s hard, right? It’s a lot.”
Out of all of them, Osomatsu was typically the most energetic when they visited the hospital, so it was easy to forget he was feeling the strain like the rest of them sometimes. The oldest was always the first one to start talking to their baby brother when they arrived and the stories he shared in the hospital room always helped make the mood a bit lighter. However, he rarely stayed longer than an hour before deciding to head back home. Sometimes, the others would join him but most of the time, he headed back by himself.
Ichimatsu looked down slightly, “Yeah.”
A mutual silence followed between them before Osomatsu nodded.
“Someone can stay with you then.”
Ichimatsu shook his head, “You’ll only be about a couple hours or so, right? I’ll probably just nap anyways.”
“I think some of us would prefer if you weren’t alone but I can understand needing some space.” Osomatsu rubbed his nose and placed a hand on Ichimatu’s shoulder, “You know how to reach us?”
Ichimatsu nodded, “Yeah, I’ve got Dads cell and the number for the hospital room.”
“Alright. Get some rest, yeah?” Osomatsu smiled and removed his hand.
Ichimatsu nodded and glanced briefly at Todomatsu as they walked out of the kitchen.
Everyone else had already been in the van by the time they finished speaking, so after saying one more farewell to Osomatsu, Ichimatsu officially had the house to himself.
Sort of.
He took a deep breath to steal himself before turning around, “So…we should probably head upstairs?”
Todomatsu nodded.
--
About ten minutes of solid uncomfortable silence followed once they reached the room upstairs. All that could be heard was the sound of rain outside as it lightly fell. Ichimatsu kept glancing at his brother and then glancing away. He was beginning to get accustomed to the other’s presence but that didn’t exactly make it any less weird. The more he was around him, the easier to was to believe that this person in the room was actually Todomatsu. He acted so much like his little brother…but the whole situation made zero sense.
Ichimatsu continued to fret in silence until eventually, Todomatsu spared him and spoke up first,
“Well, overall, you seem to be dealing with this much better then yesterday.” Todomatsu remarked as Ichimatsu moved to situate himself in his usual corner.
“You still managed to give me a heart attack when you popped up behind Osomatsu like that…” Ichimatsu scowled, “Where did you go anyway? I was just starting to convince myself that I had been hallucinating yesterday.”
Ichimatsu was happy Todomatsu opted not to float as the he went to sit on the floor next to him.
“I dunno, I tried distancing myself? I didn’t really want to see everyone after yesterday.” Todomatsu looked up at the ceiling, “It’s hard though, I can’t stay too far away.”
“…what does that mean exactly?”
Todomatsu rolled his eyes, “Exactly how it sounds? If I wander too far from you, it’s not good.”
Ichimatsu groaned, “Ok, and that means?”
The younger hummed, “Well, its as if a pressure starts coming down on me, like walls closing in. If I stay close to you, then the pressure eases off.”
“That’s…weird? It doesn’t sound good.”
“Well, no shit.” Todomatsu glanced at his brother, visibly annoyed, “Thanks for stating the obvious all the time.”
Ichimatsu felt himself prickle but managed to bite his tongue and refrain from shouting something obscene.
The elder of the two gritted his teeth, “Alright, enlighten me then. What am I supposed to say? It’s not like I have any more of a clue to what’s going on than you do.”
Todomatsu sighed, “I guess…but you do know something that I don’t.” The youngest brought his knees up to his chest, looking a bit more uncomfortable, “I don’t really want to ask but I don’t think we can figure this out unless I do…What happened exactly? Why am ‘I’ at the hospital?”
A silence followed until Ichimatsu answered quietly, “Wait…so, you don’t remember?”
Todomatsu appeared to want to lash out again but he took a moment to breathe before speaking, “No, not a thing.”
“Well, you have to remember something.” Ichimatsu felt his palms getting sweaty and he started fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. “What’s the last thing you remember?”
The youngest spared him a glance and his features softened a bit at noticing the return of his brother’s anxious demeanour. “Honestly, it’s weird because I didn’t think much about it until this morning but the last thing I recall clearly is running into you yesterday on the street. Before that is…fuzzy? I think I went to the grocery store with Jyushimatsu Nii-san? Then we had an early night or something?”
Ichimatsu swallowed.
Ok…that had been the day before the accident.
“So…nothing after at? At all?”
“No, Nii-san. That’s it, honestly.” The words were more curt and Todomatsu looked back at the ceiling.
Ichimatsu continued to fidget, “T-There was an accident. You’re in a coma at the hospital and well…”
Todomatsu waited a bit for Ichimatsu to continue but spoke up when nothing else was said, “Nii-san, you have to focus, ok? How did it happen? When did it happen? How long have I been in a coma?” He stopped looking at the ceiling and glanced at his brother, “It’s important to know the details so we can figure this out, don’t you think?”
Ichimatsu swallowed, “I’m sorry. It's difficult, alright? All this is just really…strange and you’re so nonchalant about it all right now. I feel like I’m being grilled by the police again.”
Todomatsu’s eyes widened, “Police?”
“Yeah, we all spoke to them even though we weren’t with you at the time the accident happened.” Ichimatsu looked down. “You…went out by yourself that evening and it was raining, really bad. The news was calling it the worst storm of the season. We were told a car had hit you when you went to cross a street but that it took off after. Thankfully, someone saw you and was able to call an ambulance. The hit had been hard. You have been in a coma for about three weeks."
“Oh…” Todomatsu trailed off, looking lost at what to say immediately to that.
Ichimatsu kept his gaze down, “Yeah.”
“S-so…why had I gone out if the weather was that bad?” Todomatsu attempted regaining himself, “Did I tell you guys?”
Ichimatsu started fidgeting again, “Well…”
He didn’t get to finish the thought as the sound of the front door being shoved open startled them both.
“That’s odd. I thought you said Osomatsu would be at least a couple of hours? It can hardly have been half an hour.” Todomatsu stated and Ichimatsu shrugged.
In only a few more seconds, Jyushimatsu barreled into the room.
“Nii-san!!” He jumped in and enveloped Ichimatsu in a big hug.
“J-jyushimatsu! You’re back so early.” Ichimatsu exclaimed as he struggled to breathe in the hold.
“Yeah! Osomatsu Nii-san said you were staying by yourself, so I came back!” Jyushimatsu released his brother and kept on smiling.
“Thanks, Jyushi…but you could have stayed at the hospital. I know how it’s important to everyone. I should have gone too, really.” Ichimatsu glanced at Todomatsu briefly but the youngest had stood and was looking away.
“It’s ok! I spoke with Totty first and told him I was coming!” Jyushimatsu smiled.
“Huh?”
Jyushimatsu continued, “Totty would understand! When I’m feeling lonely, he always hangs out with me! He wouldn’t want you to be alone either, Nii-san. Totty is like that.”
“Jyushimatsu…” Todomastu went to reach out but seemed to think better of it and quickly retracted his hand. The memory of the incident from last night on the roof had lingered with Ichimatsu also.
He really wanted to tell Jyushimatsu what was happening. Out of all his brothers, Ichimatsu felt he could trust the other with pretty much anything…but he felt it wouldn’t be right to even attempt explaining this. Not yet anyway.
After the accident, Jyushi hadn’t spoken for 3 full days. He had kept quiet and stayed lost in his own mind, worrying Ichimatsu and the others greatly. It wasn’t until the evening of the third day that the younger brother broke down fully. He had cried into Ichimatsu’s shoulder practically non-stop for the remainder of that evening.
Jyushimatsu had just started regaining some of his spark back and Ichimatsu wanted to protect that.
Ichimatsu ruffled his brother’s hair, “Thanks, Jyushi.”
--
After a few hours, everyone else except Karamatsu and their mother had returned home. It had been exactly like the day before. Todomatsu noticed and he mentioned it to Ichimatsu.
“Yeah. They usually grab a bite and wait around the hospital until afternoon visiting hours. Then, they head home around dinner once visiting hours are over for the day.” Ichimatsu whispered.
“That’s…really long.” Todomatsu muttered.
Ichimatsu kept his hushed tone, “Well, mom would do that for any of us. I’m not saying Karamatsu wouldn’t but…” He stalled, fumbling a bit, “Let’s just say he’d do it for you. For sure.”
Todomatsu stared at him, looking a bit confused, “…He’d do it for you too, Nii-san.”
“Ha, yeah, sure.” Ichimatsu scoffed.
Todomatsu looked like he was going to say something more but didn’t get the chance. Choromatsu had leaned over to whisper something to Osomatsu and the oldest called out rather loudly.
“Hey, Ichimatsu! Stop mumbling to yourself in a dark corner and join us.”
Ichimatsu spared them a glance before looking back to Todomatsu who just shrugged.
Osomatsu followed his brothers gaze and laughed nervously, “You’re like…actually losing your marbles huh?”
A swift whack to the back of the head by Choromatsu followed and the eldest yelped, “Hey!”
“You can’t just say that!” Choromatsu reprimanded. He made his voice sound hushed but Ichimatsu didn’t understand why, given everyone could still hear.
“Ah…sorry, sorry.” Osomatsu rubbed the back of his head, “Choromatsu told me earlier that he thinks you’re losing your marbles too but I guess it’s only alright if he says it.”
“That’s not the point!” Choromatsu went to pounce but Osomatsu managed to dodge and smirked as the third eldest crashed face first into the floor. When he rolled over to retaliate, something small and pink fell out of Choromatsu’s pocket. It caught Todomatsu’s eye right away.
“Hey!! That’s my phone! What’s Choromatsu doing with it?” He paused and then shuddered, “…he wouldn’t?”
When Ichimatsu just shrugged Todomatsu flailed, “Chorofappski…gross! Get your own!! Ichimatsu, you have to get my phone back!”
“Why? It’s not like you can use it.”
“But I don’t want him using it! Ugh! Does he have no decency? I’m in a hospital for goodness sake.”
As usual, Ichimatsu was rather unimpressed by all of his brother’s antics. It was amusing sometimes but he found it usually pathetic to watch. That being said, when a box of Kleenex almost collided with his face, he stood from his spot on the floor.
“I’m going for a walk.”
He was initially met with no response but when Ichimatsu looked up, he saw Jyushimatsu giving him a thumbs-up while effortlessly holding back a raging Choromatsu with only one arm.
Out of habit more than anything, Ichimatsu gave Jyushimatsu a thumbs-up in return before walking out the door.
--
Ichimatsu sighed, annoyed, “It’s never quiet for long, is it?”
“Yeah…but we still have to get my phone back later, so don’t forget! That’s just wrong!”
“Hmm? Well, if it makes you feel any better, it was pretty funny when Choromatsu’s face ate floorboard.”
Todomatsu laughed lightly, “Well, I can’t argue that. It was nice to see something so normal too. It made me forget about the…situation. Even if just for a little bit.”
Ichimatsu couldn’t disagree. However, he didn’t want to tell Todomatsu that had been the most normal he’d seen any of his brother’s act for the last couple of weeks.
"Hey, so...you've believe it's me now right?"
"What?"
Todomatsu looked away, "I mean, you'll help right? We'll figure this out?"
"Well, It's not like I understand any of this but something weird is definitely going on. I'm still not sure what to believe honestly but I suppose we should figure this out…" Ichimatsu shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket, “I guess.”
“Right. How reassuring..." Todomatsu let out a puff of air before mumbling, "So, where are we going exactly?”
“Back to the ally. I didn’t get to feed anyone yesterday.”
“Anyone…?” Todomatsu looked confused and then surprised, “Oh, do you mean the cats?”
“Yeah. The cats.” Ichimatsu hunched over and grumbled, “If you think it’s stupid, then it’s not like you have to come.”
The youngest shot him a sour face, “Excuse me but when did I say it was stupid…and actually, I don’t have a choice. I can’t stray too far from you remember?” Todomatsu then sighed dramatically, “Geez, a grump and a horrible memory. You’ve got a lot going for you, Nii-san.”
“Tch…and your personality is just so much better.” Ichimatsu rolled his eyes.
“As a matter of fact, it is!” Todomatsu chirped without missing a beat.
Ichimatsu made a face, “Ugh…you and Shittymatsu really are alike. You both walk around with such stupid confidence, completely oblivious to just how garbage your personalities are.”
The youngest froze for a moment, letting the comment sink in before he flailed, “What?! I’m not like Karamatsu at all, take that back!”
Ichimatsu smirked, a dark shadow appearing on his face as he decided to poke at it some more, “You two are practically of the same breed. You should just accept it, little brother…or should I say, bruzzah?” He did his best to mimic Karamatsu’s speech.
He only smirked more when Todomatsu looked genuinely mortified, “Ugh, no way! He’s completely different.”
“Yeah, yeah. Keep lying to yourself.” He chuckled at the face Todomatsu was making now.
Ichimatsu couldn’t deny that he liked making Todomatsu squirm a bit. The youngest could dish out some real snarky insults but he was pretty bad at handling being on the receiving end. Ichimatsu didn’t particularly enjoy being an ‘older’ brother much but teasing his youngest brother was something he could occasionally indulge in.
Todomatsu pouted and started to hover above the ground, “You’re so mean, Nii-san.”
“Yeah…sure but umm, you’re doing that again.” Ichimatsu pointed up at his brother.
Blinking, Todomatsu looked about himself, “Oh, sorry…” He then proceeded to bring his feet back to the ground with ease.
Ichimatsu shook his head. He was definitely starting to get used to this ‘situation’ as Todomatsu called it but it was still really frustrating that neither of them could explain it.
Sighing, he decided to let it go for the time being and tilted his head, “Well, we’re here.”
They turned a corner and walked only a little ways into the ally before a bunch of fuzzy heads poked out in curiosity.
Ichimatsu smiled and reached into his hoodie pocket to produce a bag of fish treats, “Hey, everyone. I have some of your favorites today.”
“Woah! There are so many cats here…” Todomatsu gaped.
Ichimatsu nodded, “Yeah and more keep coming too. I think word has gotten out about my fish treats.”
“…Is that so?” Todomatsu laughed lightly.
Ichimatsu knew what Todomatsu must be thinking. He could see it in his brother’s awkward posture and nervous facial expression.
…Well, whatever.
It wasn’t anything new. Aside from Jyushimatsu, all his brothers thought he was strange. He hated to admit it but it was one of the reasons he got so defensive about this place. It was special to him. Ichimatsu didn’t need his brothers coming in and ruining it or making him feel weird here. They did that enough at home. Normally, he wouldn’t have brought Todomatsu but circumstances being as they were…
Ichimatsu was pulled from his thought and jolted slightly at the sound of hissing.
Sparing a glance, he saw a couple of cats were looking at Todomatsu, their fur standing on end.
“Huh. Can they see you?” He mused.
Todomatsu looked almost hilariously distressed, “What do you think??”
Ichimatsu brought himself around fully, “Well, they say animals are pretty in tune with that kind of…thing? So, probably.”
“That’s just great.” Todomatsu sassed but he yelped when a third cat joined in on growling at him. “You can talk to them, right? Ask them to stop!”
Ichimatsu groaned.
He reached out gently to the cats and softly spoke to them. Almost instantly, they started calming down. Two situated themselves in his lap and the third had laid on its back as Ichimatsu gave it’s belly a nice scratch.
Todomatsu gradually moved himself back beside his brother, still looking on edge. It had been too close though and one of the cats suddenly started yowling again.
“Why does this always happen?” Todomatsu looked genuinely upset.
Ichimatsu sighed, “It’s probably because you’re…well, you know? I’m sure they can sense something is off.”
“I don’t think it’s just that though. I’ve always had trouble with cats. Even before…this.” Todomatsu gestured to himself and let out a puff of air, “Cats just don’t like me and I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it.”
The older of the two paused and it was Todomatsu’s turn to blink in surprise.
Ichimatsu rubbed the back of his head irritably and he stood, “Arrgh, you know what? Here, I’m going to show you.” He pointed dramatically at his youngest brother, “It’s your body language. They can tell you’re uncomfortable and that you don’t want anything to do with them.”
Todomatsu gasped, “What? That’s not true! Even when I want to pet one, they still get upset.”
“Yeah and I bet every time you’ve gone to try and pet one, you approach all wrong.”
“A-approach?”
Ichimatsu sighed and then spoke, “You look like you’re petrified and in turn, you’re scaring them. You’ve got to relax.” He motioned to his brother’s hands, “Look. You’re so tight wound that you’re making fists.”
He watched as his younger brother looked down at his own hands in surprise. He slowly un-clenched them and the rest of his body also visibly relaxed.
Ichimatsu nodded, “Good. Now crouch down slowly and don’t make a move to reach out or anything. Let them come to you.”
He was surprised at just how nervous Todomatsu seemed with the whole thing. He honestly had no idea about this concern of his.
Sure enough, the cat seemed to calm down. The fur on it’s back lowered and the yowling ceased. It looked at Todomatsu a bit smugly before slowly laying down and relaxing into a more comfortable position.
Ichimatsu dared to peek at his youngest brother’s reaction.
Even though he couldn’t actually touch the cat, the fact that he could be in the cat’s presence without it hissing seemed to be enough. Todomatsu had on a huge smile and honestly, it was a bit jarring. Ichimatsu couldn’t believe something like this was making Todomatsu, of all people, so happy.
“That’s cool Nii-san. A bit creepy but…pretty cool.” The youngest grinned.
“Thanks, I think.” Ichimatsu grumbled as he looked at the cat sitting near his brother’s feet, “You seem…pretty happy about this though.”
Todomatsu looked away sheepishly, “Well, one time when we were kids, Karamatsu and I startled this grumpy old cat because we were goofing off. It jumped out at me and scratched up my face. Ever since then, I have always been a bit scared of them.” He looked back at the cat by his feet, “I had sorta accepted it would always be like that with me and cats but...it still bothered me, you know?” He grinned slightly, “I guess I should have just asked for your help sooner. Makes sense really…don’t know why I didn’t.”
There was a pause as Ichimatsu smirked and Todomatsu frantically stood, interpreting his brother’s expression for something more devious, “Hey, don’t go telling anyone!” He looked away, visibly embarrassed, “That it bothered me, I mean.”
“Yeah, yeah but I don’t think they’d really care anyways.” Ichimatsu groaned as he stood and stretched, “but I guess we should probably head out.”
“Oh…already?” When Ichimatsu shot him a surprised look Todomatsu fumbled, “W-what? Fine, let’s go.”
Ichimatsu bent back down to gather up the empty treat bag and pondered a bit before hesitating slightly, “We can…come back again sometime? If you want.”
Ugh. Why’d I say that?
Ichimatsu reminded himself that this was his haven. A place to be away from his annoying brothers but…it had also been kind of nice helping Todomatsu overcome his obstacle with cats. It’d be good to try again and see if any more progress could be made. There were also some kittens he was sure Todomatsu would like and…
Stop.
That was if Todomatsu wanted to actually come back. Which would be ridiculous. He only came now because he had no choice. His brother would never risk being caught in a dingy ally normally. In fact, he was probably waiting to make fun of Ichimatsu for taking him seriously…
“Really? Ok!” Is what came out of his brother’s mouth instead.
Huh…
“Could I maybe try feeding them next time too?”
Ichimatsu still needed a moment to process that the look in his brother’s eyes actually appeared genuine. His baby brother was typically calculating and wouldn’t do something unless he had something to gain from it or...if it was something he actually wanted to do.
Todomatsu seemed to once again misinterpret his brother’s pause and went to stand next to him, “H-hey, I’ll be super relaxed, promise! I won’t scare them!”
Ichimatsu snapped out of his thoughts and sputtered, “Y-yeah, ok. Next time.”
The younger of the two flashed a peace sign, “Yay! I’m holding it to you Nii-san! Maybe I could…pick out the treats too?”
“No.”
Ichimatsu couldn’t help the quick and slightly cold response. He was happy Todomatsu was showing interest but a line still needed to be drawn.
“Alright, alright, fair enough.” Todomatsu raised his hands and laughed nervously before looking up at the sky as rain drops began fall, “Hmm. You should have probably grabbed your rain coat before heading out. It had been raining earlier after all.”
Ichimatsu went completely rigid and Todomatsu noticed right away, “Err…what’s-
“I…I don’t have one.” The eldest quickly shot out.
“A raincoat? Umm, yeah, you do.” Todomatsu argued, “You know, the stupid cute one that only suits you ‘cause it’s got cat ears?” Todomatsu made a motion of mimicking cat ears with his hands.
The rain began to pick up, proving to be more than just a light sprinkle. It had no effect on Todomatsu but Ichimatsu was quickly becoming drenched.
He turned away from Todomatsu, “I said, I don’t have one.”
“But I know that you-hey! Wait up!”
Ichimatsu had decided that then would be a good time to start walking. Fast. Todomatsu had to float again so he could catch up.
He called out, “I don’t get it but whatever! Fine, you don’t have one. Stop freaking out so suddenly all the time, geez.”
Ichimatsu felt his pulse quickening and he tried to ignore it. The sound of his pulse throbbing in his ears almost drowned out the rain and by the time he looked about himself again, he realized they were already back at the intersection towards home.
Oh great.
“Hey, is that Karamatsu Nii-san?” Todomatsu pointed to a figure just a little ways ahead. The person was leaning against a wall under an awning, taking shelter from the sudden spring down pour.
“It’s not, let’s go.” Ichimatsu murmured.
“I think it is! Look, that’s definitely his blue hoodie. You should wait out the rain there too. It’s really picking up.”
Ichimatsu went to keep walking in the opposite direction but Todomatsu called out to him.
“Nii-san, seriously. What’s with you? Just talk to him.”
Ichimatsu stalled, “I’m not…good with that kind of thing.”
“What does that mean? What kind of thing…talking?” The youngest questioned. “It’s just Karamatsu. If he says something painful, just ignore it or give him a punch like you usually do.”
Todomatsu waited a bit longer for some sort of comment from his brother before groaning from his position slightly off the ground, “Ok, fine. Get drenched. I’ll go see for myself.”
Todomatsu could be the most stubborn out of all of them but Ichimatsu would be lying if he said he knew what his younger brother was trying to prove in this case exactly. It wasn’t like Karamatsu could see him. All the same, Ichimatsu watched as the youngest kept eerily floating, making his way towards their older brother. It wasn’t terribly far and Todomatsu almost made it right up to the awning before stopping abruptly and lowering slowly to the ground. “A-ah! Shit…”
Ichimatsu panicked and ran up to his younger brother without a second thought. Almost instantly, Todomatsu looked much more relieved. “T-thanks.”
“That’s…the pressure thing you were talking about?” Ichimatsu questioned.
Todomatsu nodded but didn’t get to say anything because another voice was calling out to them.
“Brother, is that you out there weathering this storm?”
Well, shit.
It was hardly a storm but the rain was coming down pretty hard. Ichimatsu was already soaked through enough to the point where there was really no benefit in taking shelter anymore. He figured he might as well just keep on walking. Ichimatsu glanced at Todomatsu briefly and shrugged.
“I’m going home.” He grunted and made to walk past his older brother.
“I’ll join you.” Karamatsu posed, “Heh, I’ve even got an umbrella we can utilize for the journey.”
Then why was he under the awning all this time??
Ichimatsu looked to see if Todomatsu was equally baffled by their stupid older brother but instead, the youngest looked concerned.
“Nii-san…I think he was crying just now.” Todomatsu murmured.
Ichimatsu blinked and looked at Karamatsu a bit more closely. Sure enough, his brother’s eyes were rather red and even puffy. It would be hard to deny that he had been crying. His sunglasses were perched in his jacket pocket and seemingly at noticing his brothers gaze, Karamatsu opted to put them back on despite the lack of sunlight.
“N-now come, brother! Let us be off!” Karamatsu blurted as he dramatically pulled out the umbrella.
Ichimatsu watched the pathetic display as his brother struggled to open it.
How annoying.
Ichimatsu didn’t wait long before grabbing the umbrella and opening it up for them. He continued to hold it as they walked along.
“Thank you, dear brother! The handle must have been stuck. Surely, this storm shall not last long but such rain can be so…so, umm…” Karamatsu fumbled.
The second oldest always spoke with a rather unusual flare but it had been hard for him to formulate his particularly flashy phrases as of late. When he opted to not even finish his sentence this time, an awkward silence followed.
Todomatsu looked between them.
“Oh, come on Ichimatsu Nii-san!” The youngest said, sighing. “I know we don’t usually ask him how he’s doing but don’t you think this would count towards the odd exception?”
Ichimatsu looked away uncomfortably.
If he had to rank everyone on how they were seemingly dealing with things, Karamatsu would have to be classified as being the worst.
Despite his rather weak efforts to hide it, it was no secret Karamatsu had been crying a lot at home. He hardly slept and his sniffling could be heard throughout the evening. The only solace he seemed to find was by being at the hospital. It was definitely concerning and not healthy but what was Ichimatsu supposed to do about it?
Unfortunately, he could practically feel his younger brother boring holes into the back of his skull, obviously expecting something.
Todomatsu huffed, “Make some sort of small talk at least. It’s super uncomfortable being around Karamatsu when he’s quiet.”
Well, Ichimatsu couldn’t argue that.
He awkwardly coughed, “So umm, Mom’s home then? You…uh, didn’t head back with her?”
“Oh, yes! Quite so.” Karamatsu recalled. “Dad came to pick us up but I chose to walk back this time. After all, you and Osomatsu do it quite regularly. I thought maybe…it’d work for me too?” He looked down slightly and his hands clenched into fists, “but then it started raining and I just…” Karamatsu’s voice trembled and he appeared to be attempting to collect himself once more.
Ichimatsu knew it’d make sense for the rain to trigger some bad memories. Especially with the way it was coming down, even if it wasn’t quite as bad as it had been that night.
At noting his brother’s silence, Karamatsu sniffed and continued.
“…I can’t stop thinking about it. How unfair this all is. Our precious little brother…he shouldn’t be there like that.”
Ichimatsu didn’t meet his older brother’s gaze and couldn’t bring himself to reply right away. When he looked around for Todomatsu, he noticed the latter had opted to hang back behind them.
Truthfully, the second he had seen Karamatsu’s state under the awning, Ichimatsu anticipated a release of the emotional floodgate. He knew how Karamatsu was feeling and he understood why he was feeling that way…he just really didn’t want to hear it verbalized.
Every word out of his brother’s mouth made him feel heavier.
“No, you're right. He shouldn’t be there.” Ichimatsu finally murmured.
“I wish we could stay overnight. Keep him company.”
“Yeah…but you would never leave the hospital then. I think.”
“Well, the doctor mentioned talking to him his good but…I’m just get worried he’ll wake up and see no one there.” Karamatsu paused for a bit before continuing, “I don’t want him to think we forgot about him or that we don’t miss him.”
Ichimatsu resisted the urge to glance at Todomatsu again, who was still lingering behind them, “…I’m sure he knows.”
Karamatsu suddenly looked up, determined, “If he wakes up and no one is there…No! He needs to be certain that we’ve been waiting and that we haven’t given up on him, not once! He’s fighting a battle right now and we have to help him as much as we can.”
“Y-yeah, of course…” Ichimatsu couldn’t help but feel awe at his brother’s conviction. He admired it but found himself also detesting it at the same time. Was it possible to envy someone but also find them annoying?
Suddenly, just as they were reaching home, the rain tapered off, proving to be just a flash storm after all.
Karamatsu ducked out from under the umbrella and peeked over his sunglasses.
“Ah, the storm relents. Thank you, dear brother, for keeping me company.” After a short pause, he looked down, mumbling, “And thanks…for listening to me as well.”
“Huh?”
Karamatsu stuttered awkwardly, “A-ah, but I must also apologize…it wasn’t my intention to make you uncomfortable either, though I fear I may have. Given what you had seen and…” he trailed off as if thinking better of it and walked towards the front door of the house, “Please, don’t mind me.”
Ichimatsu felt a bit baffled but he let Karamatsu head in first as he stayed outside to shake off the umbrella. After making sure it was dry enough, he folded it back up and saw Todomatsu standing at the door waiting for him. The youngest looked up to meet his eyes.
“Nii-san, I’m sorry but…after you dry off, could we go to one more place?”
--
The walk to the hill had been surprisingly short, however, the climb up the hill had been one of the more excruciating things Ichimatsu could chalk up to ever doing. It didn’t help that the hill had been slippery due to the earlier downpour either. These random bouts of rain were becoming terribly annoying. Ichimatsu could feel the bruises forming from all the times he had fallen and he practically collapsed under one of the big trees once they arrived at the top.
Todomatsu had been uncharacteristically patient while Ichimatsu had struggled to make his way up. In fact, with the exception of giving directions, Todomatsu had been rather silent and melancholy the whole way. Ichimatsu couldn’t help but feel a bit concerned. He wasn’t sure why Todomatsu dragged him out here. He watched as his younger brother situated himself near the base of the tree next to him.
There was silence and then,
“Karamatsu Nii-san…is he doing ok?”
Ah, so that’s what this was about.
“It’s, well…he’s...” Ichimatsu struggled.
“You don’t need to lie to me Nii-san.”
Ichimatsu let out a breath.
“He’s not…doing so great, no.” He didn’t really feel it would be right to say anything that would upset Todomatsu but he wasn’t exactly good at sugar coating either. “I mean, what you saw earlier is kinda how he is. When he’s not at the hospital and he’s home, he’s pretty weepy.”
“Does anyone try talking to him? Maybe you should-
“I already told you that I’m not good with that.” Ichimatsu interrupted, “Especially with Shittymatsu. I can’t handle his personality type.” He waited for Todomatsu to make some snarky remark but when he turned and saw his brother’s expression wilt instead, he quickly added, “I-It’s fine though. Choromatsu has been pretty good with reaching out to him. I’m not sure if he really talks all that much but…probably? Karamatsu always takes the opportunity if someone is listening.”
When Todomatsu still didn’t say anything, Ichimatsu looked up at the clouds as they drifted.
“I’m sorry…You usually help me harass him and stuff, so I forget sometimes that you two are actually pretty close.”
“T-that’s not true.” Todomatsu stuttered, “It just rattled me to see him so…not himself. I could tell he was trying to act normal but it was hard. I didn’t think he’d be that shaken.”
“Well, everyone is pretty shaken. Karamatsu is just shit at hiding it.”
“O-oh…r-right.” Todomatsu pulled his knees up and hugged them, looking terribly troubled.
Good going Ichimatsu. After hearing that, anyone would be more upset.
Another silence followed and Ichimatsu found himself lost at what to do. It was proving to be a common feeling as of late. The day had been long and they were no closer to figuring anything out. Would they ever? It was a depressing thought and Ichimatsu just really wanted to go home.
“Hey…Nii-san?”
He almost hadn’t heard Todomatsu, the words had been whispered so quiet.
“Hmm?”
“Do you…” Todomatsu began but stopped briefly before starting over, “Do you think I’ll wake up?”
Ichimatsu paused only to process the question but when he responded he didn’t hesitate, “Of course you will!”
Todomatsu’s tone was still quiet but it didn’t waver, “No. For real Nii-san. What have the doctors said? Is it possible?”
The doctor had told them that most patients, if they were to wake, typically came out of a coma within 4 weeks. It had already been just over 3 but there was still time.
“We were never told that you wouldn’t wake up...if that’s what you mean. So, yes. It’s possible.”
Todomatsu rested his head on his knees and looked out over the scenery, eyes watery, “O-ok, that’s good…I don’t want to worry anyone anymore. I don’t want to be like this and I want to wake up.” He rubbed at his eyes with a sleeve, “W-we have to figure this out, Nii-san. We have to.”
Ichimatsu could tell his baby brother was trying to be brave. Though he couldn’t put an arm around him, Ichimatsu instead shifted closer. He wasn’t as good at expressing himself as his brothers were but still, he took a breath and decided to try.
“I know I’m probably the last one you need right now and I’m sure one of our other brothers would have been more helpful than I could be but…” Ichimatsu made himself look his baby brother in the eye, “I promise to do everything I can. We can figure out how to make this better and I’ll be with you till we do.” He tried his best to sound confident and not betray how frazzled he actually felt on the inside, “So please, Totty, try not to worry…ok?”
At hearing his nickname, Todomatsu looked up to meet his brother’s gaze. Tears were still threatening to fall but a small watery smile managed to make its way to his face. Todomatsu appeared to have found some comfort in his words, “Thank you, Nii-san.”
“Yeah, of course.”
Todomatsu shook his head, as if he were attempting to clear it.
“Alright!” he announced, “Tomorrow. Tomorrow we’ll figure this out for sure.”
Ichimatsu awkwardly nodded and followed his brothers gaze back towards the horizon in front of them.
Purple clouds drifted lazily, the storm passing to reveal the sun just as it began to set.
Chapter 1 End
Thank you so much for reading and apologies for any grammatical errors!
I put off uploading this for so long and finally decided to just do it! If I couldn't bring myself to post it on 110Matsu day, I don't think I would have ever. This is my first time actually posting anything and it's a bit nerve wracking...not having a second set of eyes to assist with editing made me pretty nervous!
That being said, please feel free to let me know any tips I can use to improve my writing or if there are any tags I should be adding!