Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She awoke in a cold sweat, kicking her covers off and frantically staring about her room.

“Marinette!” Tikki gasped, rushing over to her. “It’s okay! It was just another bad dream. You’re safe. I promise.”

Marinette felt like she couldn’t breathe, but her kwami’s presence helped. She closed her eyes and dug her nails into the palms of her hands, focusing on the pain to bring her back to reality.

Slowly, the truth set in and Marinette realized she was awake. Everyone was presumably safe and it had all been a terrible dream.

Sighing, she ran a hand through her sweaty hair and looked at her clock.

It was three in the morning.

Just two hours since she last awoke from a different nightmare.

“Thanks, Tikki,” she groaned, rubbing her hands over her eyes. “I think I’ll get some fresh air before I try to sleep again.”

She got out of bed, but Tikki flew in front of her again.

“Wait, Marinette! I’m really worried about you. You’re having more nightmares than usual. Do you want to talk about it? That usually seems to help.”

“I-I don’t know. I might want to when I come back to bed. I just need a moment.”

The kwami’s worried expression didn’t leave her face, but she nodded and let Marinette through.

It was colder outside than Marinette anticipated, but her skin still felt sweaty from her nightmare and the autumn breeze was a welcome sensation.

She sat down in a chair and drew her knees in, wrapping her arms around herself. 

The nightmares had become worse. She couldn’t deny that. But she also wished she could ignore that it was even a problem. She didn’t want to accept that there was yet another part of her life that was difficult to deal with. It was bad enough that she had to deal with being a super hero and keeping her grades up and helping at the bakery and … and Chloé.

Why did her mental health have to turn against her too?

It wasn’t just the nightmares. Her entire personality changed over the last year. She lost interest in things she used to love and she had a tendency of avoiding Alya at times, unable to keep up with her positivity and enthusiasm. Even when she did try to be Old Marinette, she usually lost focus, drifting away into her own dark world and lashing out when people tried to ask if she was alright.

It wasn’t as though she could speak to anyone other than Tikki about it. They would dig too much, ask too many questions, try too hard to fix her.

I’m fine. Just tired.

Lies.

I’m sorry. I don't know why I snapped.

Lies.

Yeah. I’m okay. Don’t worry.

Lies.

She sighed again and curled her arms tighter around herself. Tikki was a great listener, but she tried so hard to help. Sometimes, all Marinette wanted to do was vent to someone who really understood what she was going through.

Something darted past in the corner of her eye. A dark figure leaping across buildings. It stopped on the rooftop across from hers and turned to look at her, green eyes widening when their eyes met.

Just moments ago, she had seen him in her dreams, watching as an akuma tore him limb from limb.

What is he doing here? Why is he awake?

Chat Noir turned his head to the side, taking the sight of her in before using his staff to leap across the street, landing gracefully on the rails of her balcony.

“Are you alright, princess?” he asked, giving her a lob-sided smile. “Shouldn’t a beauty like you be sleeping?”

“I … Yeah. I just … Is something wrong? Is the city in trouble?”

“No. Everything’s fine. This alley cat just decided he was more of a night owl and couldn’t seem to rest. I’m just patrolling. No need to worry.”

She sighed, relieved. “Okay. Good.”

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” He squinted at her. “You look really exhausted.”

Marinette tucked a few messy strands of her hair behind her ear and nodded. “I-I’m fine. I just couldn’t seem to fall asleep either.”

He frowned. "You don't seem fine. Is there anything keeping you up?"

"Yeah, nightmares," she blurted out, surprising herself with how easily the words sprung forth before she could stop them.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," she lied. 

She desperately wanted to tell him everything.

"Well, I don't blame you. I know we've only met a few times. I wouldn't trust me either," he said with a wry smile. "But if it's something so bad that it's keeping you up at night, I hope you're able to share it with someone soon. Maybe a friend or your parents?"

She shook her head. "No, I can't. But I wish I could. I'll ... I'll figure it out. It'll get better eventually."

Chat Noir approached her to touched her shoulder gently. "I'm sure it will."

A breeze came through, lifting his hair. It looked like a golden halo under the streetlights.  

“I should probably get going," he said. "I'd like to give sleep another shot tonight. I hope you get some rest eventually too.” 

She smiled softly and nodded. "Thank you, Chat Noir. I appreciate you talking to me."

"Catch ya later," he said, grinning and giving her a playful two-finger salute before taking off into the night.

Marinette was surprised to find that she was sad to see him go. 

Other than Tikki, he's the only person I can talk to about the nightmares and the only time I really see him is when we’re busy fighting akumas…

She sighed, rubbed her eyes, and sat up, deciding to give sleep another try. With any luck, she’d at least be able to get a total of four hours that night.

Chapter Text

Adrien didn’t want to get out of bed. He curled up into a tight ball, breathing in the safety of the comforter and the sheets around him.

Once again, his alarm blared and he knew he couldn’t afford to put it on snooze again. If he did, he’d be late for school, which he might get in trouble for, which might upset his dad…

And God forbid Adrien Agreste did something to upset his father.

He groaned as he got up from bed and silenced his alarm.

“I told you so,” Plagg said, flying over to him with a smug smile.

“Told me what?”

“I told you that you’d regret staying out so late.”

“The only reason you even wanted me to stay was so that you could sit around and eat cheese.” Adrien yawned and ran his hands through his messy hair. “I’ll just get to sleep early tonight.”

“So long as you feed me before you do!”

He rolled his eyes.

After a year and a half, he was definitely used to Plagg’s never-ending appetite.

Marinette crossed his mind as he began to get ready for school. He thought back to the conversation he overheard between Alya and Nino a few weeks ago. The word depressed was tossed around a lot, but Alya was convinced that something else was going on. Depression didn’t quite explain Marinette’s far-off looks, jumpiness, and outbursts of aggression.

Maybe it wasn’t any of his business, but he couldn’t help feeling a little concerned. Sure, Marinette always acted a little awkward around him and never really spoke to him, but she was a sweet girl. He didn’t like the idea of something like that troubling her. And he especially didn't like that she felt she couldn't go to anyone for help.

Nathalie knocked on his door. “Adrien? Are you getting ready?”

“Yes! I’m on my way!” he called out, hurriedly getting his shoes on. “Let’s go, Plagg.”

“If we must,” the kwami replied.

Adrien was still yawning as he walked up the steps to his school and tried to find Nino in the gathering crowd of students.

Marinette caught his eye in the courtyard. Her eyes drooped with exhaustion. She seemed completely lost as she watched dead leaves skittering along the sidewalk. 

“Hey, Marinette!” Alya yelled, running up behind her and placing her hand on her friend’s shoulder.

In the blink of an eye, Marinette snatched Alya’s hand off and spun her around, twisting Alya’s wrist back in a way that looked like it could break at any moment.

“Marinette! What the hell?! Stop! You’re hurting me!”

Her blue eyes looked feral. She was breathing heavily, jaw locked and grip tight. Slowly, her mind cleared. She blinked, suddenly realizing what she was doing, and gasped before quickly letting her friend go.

“I’m so sorry!” Marinette tried to gently reach for Alya, but Alya flinched out of the way.

She glared at her, nursing injured her wrist with her other hand. “What is wrong with you?!”

She stormed off and Marinette chased after her. “Wait! I’m sorry!”

“Wow. That was scary,” Nino said, coming up beside Adrien. “Hope Alya’s okay.”

“You saw that?”

“I think the whole school did. Chloé better watch out.”

“Is something going on with Marinette?" Adrien asked, his concern growing more than it had last night. "Has Alya told you anything?”

“No, but I do know that she’s really worried about her. Marinette hasn't been herself for months.”

Adrien frowned and wished he knew what to do to help her.

But, on a different side note, where did Marinette learn to do that?

After an otherwise predictable day at school and a lengthy photo shoot that afternoon, Adrien retreated to his room, having barely touched his dinner.

He laid in bed, feeling restless but lacking the motivation to really do anything. For hours, he drifted in and out of sleep, as he often did nowadays.

Then, when he could no longer stay in bed, he fed Plagg an extra serving of camembert to bribe him into leaving the house.

Chat Noir took to the night, leaping across buildings and rooftops. When he was Chat, he didn’t think about how distant his father was. He didn’t feel like he was useless and had no control in his life. When he was Chat, he could just be a hero of Paris with the freedom to do whatever he wanted.

A figure caught his attention when he stopped by the Seine River. Someone was running across a bridge.

Marinette.

She was sweating through a tank top and a pair of shorts. Her limbs were dragging, visibly fighting against her as she continued pushing herself to go faster. Her chest heaved, straining with every breath, body shaking in exhaustion.

Chat ran across the rooftops and leaped across the river with his staff until he landed just a few meters in front of her.

She gasped, quickly stopping and instinctively putting her fists up.

He put his hands up in surrender, a small smile on the corners of his lips. “Whoa there, Princess. I’m not looking for a cat fight.”

Marinette, realizing who he was, let her hands drop down on her knees and bowed her head, trying to catch her breath.

“You really shouldn’t be out here so late,” he said, carefully stepping closer to her.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she huffed, one of her hands almost slipping off her knees. “I-I needed something to do. I just figured I would run to tire myself out and then…”

She trailed off. Her face looked so pale.

“Marinette, are you … okay? You look like you’re about to–”

She started to keel over and Chat caught her by her shoulders, her face falling lifelessly against his chest.

He started to panic as he tried to keep her upright in his arms.

“Marinette? Marinette!”

After a few more seconds, her blue eyes flickered open and he sighed with relief.

“I…” she whispered, looking up at him with confusion as she regained consciousness. “What happened?”

He shifted her closer, putting one of her arms over his shoulders and taking her by her waist. “Hold on to me. I’ll help you get back home.”

“No. I-I can’t, Chat.” She feebly tried to pull away. “I need to–”

“You just fainted, Marinette. If I hadn’t been here, your face would have been on the pavement. Please just let me take you home. You should drink some water and get some rest.”

Marinette looked as though she wanted to argue, but her body was too sore. She slumped against him, still breathing heavily.

“Fine,” she muttered.

They walked together, Marinette leaning against him, her legs dragging along. He probably could have carried her, but he didn’t want to test her stubbornness. Besides, it would only take about ten minutes.

“What are you doing out here?” she softly asked.

“My sleep has been irregular too. Sometimes, I sleep the whole day away. Other times, I’m exhausted, but can’t seem to even take a cat nap.”

She was silent.

“Marinette?”

She blinked. “Oh, sorry! I was just thinking.”

“About?”

“I … Nothing. I-I'd rather not talk about it.”

He smirked. “You really don’t trust this fine feline, do you?”

She stared at the ground. 

What could be so bad she can't even go to Alya or her parents about it?

His stomach turned at all the horror stories he'd heard of girls being hurt by abusive parents or boyfriends. Her parents always seemed so kind and supportive and he didn’t think Marinette was dating anyone, but what if that wasn’t the case? What if she can’t turn to the people who care about her because they’re actually the ones harming her?

“Hey, is this thing ... whatever it is that's causing your nightmares ... You're just ... You're not in danger, right?" he asked, his tone more serious now. "Is there anyone or anything hurting you here that's causing all this? Is there anything I can do about it?”

"Look, I don't really know you, Chat, and—" 

"You're important," he said, adamantly. "You’re right. You don’t know me, but whatever is causing this … You deserve better. You're a good person, Marinette. If anyone is hurting you and causing all these nightmares, please don't carry it alone. Tell someone. It doesn't have to be me." 

She shook her head and smiled softly at him. "Chat, you're so sweet for trying to help, but no one is hurting me. It’s … really complicated, but if I could reach for help, I would. Until then, I’ll just keep trying what I think might work for me.” She sighed and shook her head. “And I really, really thought running would." 

What could he do? Chat Noir was a mystery to her and, as Adrien, she tended to avoid him. How could he help her if he could never even get near her?

He frowned and turned away unhappily. "Please don’t push yourself like this again.”

“I won’t and I am really grateful you showed up when you did. That alone was enough help me tonight,” she said, smiling at him again.

Her blue eyes were filled with kindness. And … fondness maybe?

Chat smiled back. “I’m willing to be your white knight anytime, Princess.”

Chapter Text

They were out on patrol that evening, sitting on a rooftop near a chimney and watching as the sun sank behind the horizon.

It was calm during their time out and Ladybug was grateful just to have an excuse to leave the house. She had stayed holed up in her room ever since she hurt Alya and the loneliness was starting to get to her.

She hated what she did, but there wasn’t much she could do to repair the damaged she had done. Alya wasn’t speaking to her and would and walk away whenever Marinette tried to apologize.

I guess she’s done giving me second chances. I don’t exactly blame her.

Chat Noir walked along the highest point of a rooftop, tiptoeing along the shingles, stretching his arms out to balance himself.

He was unusually quiet and sullen, barely speaking or smirking in that confident way he often did.

Now that I think of it, I don’t think he’s made a single pun today.

 “Chat?”

“Yes, my lady?” He turned around, balancing himself as he walked back towards her again.

“Are you doing alright? You’ve barely talked.”

He smiled, but it was the faintest upturn of his lips and the smile didn’t meet his eyes, which looked solemn and sad.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

That’s what I always say to my parents and Alya…

Chat sat down and stretched his legs out. Facing the sunset, his smile broadened slightly. “I might not have a sunny disposition right now, but I’m still okay.”

Ladybug smiled back and rolled her eyes.

There he is. There’s my Chat.

Softly, she asked, “So … I wanted to ask you … does all of this ever get to you? All the violence that we face? And the stress?”

He looked at her, eyebrows raised in surprise. “I … yes. It does.”

“How do you deal with it?”

“I don’t!” he laughed, shrugging nonchalantly. It wasn’t a carefree laugh; it was bitter and sarcastic, the kind of laugh she had never heard from him before. “My mental health was already questionable even before all this thanks to the constant pressure my father puts on me. Now I just … I try ignore it. I try to keep it out of my mind. Then, when I can’t, I try to sleep it all away. I stay in bed until someone makes me drag myself out. And sometimes … sometimes I wish I could just stay there and stop existing. Sometimes, I don’t want to be here anymore.”

His vacant eyes were lowered to the street below, shoulders hunched as he withdrew into himself.

Then his eyes widened and he straightened up to look at her.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to–”

“Chat, it’s fine.”

“I just don’t talk to anyone else about this. I can’t.”

“I know. I can’t either.”

“Y-You feel that way too?”

“Sometimes. Mostly, I can’t sleep. I have too many nightmares.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I watch you die in them a lot, which just makes me worry more about you when we’re in combat, which just makes me not as efficient at being a hero…”

“I can take care of myself, Bugaboo.”

“I know that. But my subconscious doesn’t seem to get the hint.”

Chat stood up quickly to flex his muscles. “Ladybug’s subconscious, how dare you believe I could ever die? This cat has nine lives! I’m purr-fectly indestructible!”

Despite everything, she couldn’t help but laugh.

Chat sat back down leaning close to her and grinning triumphantly. “I may have bad luck, but for fate to ever think of de-paw-rting me from my beautiful lady? Impawsible!”

She snorted and reached out, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re impossible, mon chaton.”

He was putty in her hands then, a purr slowly rising out from his chest.

“Ladybug! Hey! Ladybug!”

The high pitched voice of Chloé Bourgeois ringing from the streets of Paris below sent a shot of alarm through Ladybug. She quickly stood up and whipped out her yoyo.

“We should call it a night,” she said, walking to the other side of the roof.

Chat looked up at her, all green sad eyes and whining noises.

“Come on, Chat. I’ll give you more petting if you beat me to the Eiffel Tower.”

He shot up and she grinned as she threw her yoyo out, swinging away.

Chapter Text

Chat Noir stalled for a few hours after Ladybug left his side. He made his way across the city, still thinking about the comforting touches his lady had given him. She had even hugged him before they parted, squeezing him as though she needed to be reminded that he was real.

“When you feel like you don’t want to be here anymore, I know this might not mean much, but please remember you’re important, okay?” she had said as she squeezed him. “The city needs you around and so do I. Not just as my partner, but as my friend.”

And it was enough to warm Chat’s heart for the rest of the night.

It was so nice to tell someone that I’m not okay. I just wish I could see her more often…

He briefly stopped by the bakery, just to check up on Marinette. He could see through the windows and tried to convince himself that it wasn’t creepy for him to be spying on her.

I’m just making sure she’s not out pushing herself to exhaustion again. Nothing creepy about that, right?

It was late and the light in her room was still on. She was drawing on some muslin and laying it flat against a dress form, darting around it in her pajamas and holding pins in her mouth.

She might not be asleep, but at least she’s taking her energy out on something creative and not running through the middle of the night.

Chat turned away and patrolled the city for about another half hour. He had just decided to go home when he saw something that made him stop in his tracks.

In a narrow alleyway, stepping out from a black car that Chat had never seen before, Gabriel Agreste strode out and made his way to the side door of a building.

He was dressed in drab attire, completely different than the expensive suits he ordinarily wore. He even kept a hood over his face as he reached the door and punched in a code into a keypad.

Chat briefly caught a glimpse of Gabriel carrying a black suitcase in with him.

Then he disappeared behind the heavy door.

What the hell …?

Chat leapt to a different rooftop, trying to get a better look at the building.

It was tall and impressive, but completely boarded up. Several of the windows were replaced by graffiti-covered plywood where flyers were stapled, promoting local rock bands. The architecture was gothic and beautiful, but with all the vandalism that had occurred, the building was now a long way from its former glory.

Chat Noir’s eyes drew upwards, where a circular window frame was still intact.

What is my dad doing in there?

Something was itching at the back of his mind. Somehow, despite knowing he had never been to this building, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had seen it before.

Despite the curiosity burning through him, Chat turned away from the building and made his way home. Breaking into that building was a huge risk regardless of whether he was Chat or not and he was too tired to think too hard about it.

He groaned when he got into his room, transforming back and stretching his tired limbs.

“Cheese!” Plagg took off, diving to the silver platter Adrien had saved for their return. “Precious cheese! I have waited so long to rejoin you!”

Adrien rolled his eyes and flopped down on his bed. “What do you think my dad was doing out so late?”

“Who cares?”

“I do. That building looked dangerous. I never would have imagined him going into a place like that.”

“Maybe that’s why it’s a secret. He doesn’t need your judgment about where he goes.”

“But even that car was strange,” he continued. “I’ve never seen it before. And that suitcase? What was he taking in there?”

There was a loud boom from somewhere in the city of Paris.

“I’m tired of serving you ungrateful people! The Waitress is having no more of it!”

Oh, for fuck’s sake…

 Adrien grunted as he rose up from his bed.

“Well, let’s get this over with.”

Plagg looked at him, eyes panicked and mouth unable to speak around his last bite of cheese.

“I’ll at least wait until you’re done, Plagg…”

His kwami grinned. As much as he could with so much food in his mouth anyway.

Chapter Text

Marinette had the next day off from school and, after spending most of her night fighting The Waitress, she certainly needed the rest.

She ended up sleeping during the day, when the nightmares were less likely to get to her. It was easier for her to look around and make sure she was safe when she woke up throughout the day. If it wasn’t for her worry about upsetting her parents with an alarming electricity bill, she would probably sleep with a few lights on.

Marinette stirred under the covers, rubbing her eyes and curling up tighter. She at least able to sleep about six hours, which was much more than she usually did.

Talking to Chat really seemed to help, even if it did unleash a whole different kind worry.

“Why didn’t I think to talk to him sooner? I had no idea he was hurting the way I was. It must be so awful for him.”

“It’s okay, Marinette,” Tikki soothed. “Don’t blame yourself. Talking about it that once will just lead to further discussions, which will help you both later on.”

“I’m really worried about him. I wish there were more I could do.”

Her kwami patted her shoulder softly. “He now knows that he can talk to you. I would say that’s at least progress.”

“Yeah. I guess.”

There was a soft knocking on her hatch door.

Probably Maman, making sure I eat at some point today…

“Come in,” she softly called after making sure Tikki had gone away to hide.

“Marinette?”

She quickly sat up from her bed when she recognized the voice. “Alya?”

“Yeah. I’m coming up.”

“Um, o-okay.”

Alya climbed up the stairs to the loft and sat down on the edge of the bed. “So, have you gotten out of bed yet today?”

“I … No. I just woke up.”

Her friend lowered her gaze and crossed her arms on her lap. “So, I came to here apologize.”

“What? Why? I’m the one who hurt you.”

“Maybe you did hurt me, but you have tried to apologize and, instead of hearing you out, I’ve been ignoring you and avoiding you. That wasn’t very nice of me.”

“Yes, but you had every right to do that, Alya.”

“Just because I was angry and upset, that doesn’t mean I should have handled it the way I did. I’m sorry, Marinette.”

“I’m sorry too, for hurting you, and I’m sorry I’ve been acting strangely. I know it hasn’t been easy for you to put up with me.”

“Girl, you’re my best friend! I love and support you no matter what you’re going through! I just wish that you would, you know, talk to me. I just don’t understand why you’ve changed.”

Marinette tucked her loose hair behind her ear. “Alya, as much as I know you want me to tell you what has been going on, I can’t. It’s something I need to go through on my own. I don’t entirely even know what’s happening to me, but I’m trying my best to move past it. And I’ll definitely try to keep myself from hurting you in the future. Please just don’t give up on me.”

Alya chewed her bottom lip. “Is there anything at all I can do to help?”

“I don’t know if there is, but I’ll tell you if I find something. For now, you just being here is nice.”

“Can I hug you?”

Marinette’s heart broke at that.

How did it get to this point? To where my own best friend has to ask permission before hugging me?

She crawled over the bed, pulling Alya into a tight hug

“I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

“I know. I’m sorry it took me so long to forgive you.”

“I’m lucky to have you.”

“Girl, I know you are,” she snorted. “Do you know how many concussions I’ve probably saved you from by always being there to catch you?”

Marinette laughed, hugging her best friend even closer.

Chapter Text

The shoot did not go well.

Adrien tried. He really did. He gave the brooding eyes, the shy smiles, all the poses he could muster, but none of it seemed good enough for the photographer, who had finally dismissed him in a frustrated huff.

Adrien rode home, emotionally drained and extremely annoyed with himself.

His father, surprisingly, was home when he arrived. He descended the stairs, glaring down at his son with annoyance.

“I received a rather disturbing phone call from your photographer this afternoon,” he said.

You’re kidding me. He went and tattled to my father about it?

Adrien looked over at Nathalie, seeing unease in her eyes.

“He tells me that you were incompetent in your shoot,” Gabriel continued. “I saw the proofs. Your mind was elsewhere and your expressions were dead. The entire shoot was a waste.”

“I know. I’m sorry, Father. I really tried, but I just wasn’t feeling it today.”

Gabriel frowned. “It doesn’t matter whether you feel it or not. You are not just a model; you are a representation of us as a family. When you fail to meet the requirements of a shoot, you’re failing to represent us as a family. Do you understand that?”

“I-I understand.”

“Well then. As it is, the photographer refuses to continue working with you. You’ve cost us perfectly good business.”

Adrien bowed his head. “I’m sorry I disappointed you. I’ll try not to let this happen again. May I be excused now?”

“Yes. You may.”

It figures he didn’t even care to ask what was wrong with me. All he ever cares about is appearances.

After ducking into the kitchen for some cheese, he sulked away to his bedroom.

“Wow!” Plagg exclaimed, flying out from his shirt. “Your dad really dug into you this time, didn’t he? You didn’t even try to argue with him!”

He didn’t respond as he went to his bed, sitting down to take his shoes and socks off.

“Adrien?”

“Here’s your cheese,” he answered, setting it down on the bed.

“I wasn’t actually going to ask about that!”

“Really? That’s a first,” he grunted, taking his white over-shirt off.

Plagg flittered over to him, tilting his head to the side. “I know I don’t act like I care, but I do. Kind of. Do you wanna talk about it, Adrien?”

He shrugged.

Plagg sat down on Adrien’s knee. “Kid, you’re really starting to worry me here.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know.” He wouldn’t meet Plagg’s gaze. “I don’t know what I’m doing here anymore. If it weren’t for Nino, Nathalie, and being Chat Noir, I would just stay in bed all day. I … I don’t feel anything anymore. Everything just seems so pointless.”

The kwami looked at him with something that almost resembled sympathy.

“I’ll keep an eye on you. Alright? I’ve seen this happen to my previous wielders. They lose interest in things. They binge eat or don’t eat enough. They sleep all day or not at all. Being a hero wasn’t easy on any of them and I’ve helped them take care of themselves in the past. At least we now know Ladybug goes through the same thing. Maybe she can help you too.”

"Yeah." Adrien nodded as he started to walk away. “I think I’m going to take a shower. That helps sometimes.”

“That’s a start. Be sure you eat something and drink plenty of water when you’re done.”

“Since when are you a better dad than my own dad?”

Plagg shrugged and went to eat his cheese.

Chapter Text

Nights were always so endless when sleep was nowhere to be found.

Marinette was curled up in a blanket by her desk, writing in her diary and trying to keep her mind distracted. Jagged Stone’s latest album played through her computer and she hummed along as she wrote her thoughts down.

She had taken to writing every nightmare into the diary, chronicling the terrible dreams to see if there were any patterns. Other than the constant of seeing her loved ones getting hurt by akumas, there weren’t many other similarities.

After a few minutes, she combed her fingers through her loose hair and put the diary away.

I wish there were more I could do, but I’m too exhausted to go anywhere and if I try to rest, I’ll just end up waking up before long…

She was glancing at her dress form, pondering her next move on the garment she had been working on, when she heard some kind of tapping sound.

Marinette waited a moment, thinking she had imagined it, when it suddenly happened again.

Something was tapping the window to her balcony.

“Tikki, stay close,” she said, lifting her blanket up and allowing the kwami to fly under. Keeping her guard up, she climbed the stairs to the loft and looked up, seeing Chat Noir’s bright green eyes peering down.

“Chat!”

He held his shoulders, shivering and giving the tiniest wave.

“Wait there!” she called up before racing back down the steps. Once she was out of his line of sight, she took off the blanket to uncover Tikki.

“What do you think he’s doing here?” her kwami asked.

“I don’t know, but he sure looks cold.”

“I’ll go hide!”

Marinette nodded as she gathered the blanket up again and made her way back up the loft. Then she unlatched the entrance of the balcony to climb out onto it.

“What are you doing out here, Chat?” she asked, taking her blanket off and quickly wrapping it around him.

“I-I was checking in on you. I saw that you were awake and I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“You’re freezing!”

“Chill out, Marinette. I’m okay,” he said, smirking proudly.

Marinette shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself, missing the warmth of her bedroom.

“You don’t have to check up on me,” she murmured. “I don’t have plans of running through the night anymore.”

“I’m glad. Have you been sleeping better?”

“Not really,” she admitted, fighting and failing at hiding a passing shiver.

Chat took the blanket off, wrapping it around her once more. “I’ve got more on than you do. I’ll be fine.”

Marinette blushed, glancing down at her pink shorts and matching tank top. “W-Why are you out anyway? Are you just patrolling?”

“Of course. Black cats like me, we’re always looking for trouble.” He grinned and puffed his chest out. “I’ll deal with any bad luck that comes my way.”

It’s hard to see him so nonchalant when he was so vulnerable just a few days ago.

Chat Noir sat down, crossing his legs and leaning back against the short wall where her plants rested. “I’m sorry if I disturbed you though. After seeing you faint like that, I was just really concerned.”

“I’m sorry I worried you,” she said as she joined him. “It was stupid to be out so late, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now I stick to just waiting for my insomnia to stop bothering me for the night.”

“You think it’s insomnia that’s the problem?”

“Maybe. I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I’ve gone through some things. Some very unforgettable things. I usually can’t keep them out of my mind and that’s why I don’t sleep. Because they tend to follow me there.”

Chat raised his eyebrows.

I probably shouldn’t have told him that. What if he starts asking Ladybug for advice on how to help me?

“That’s terrible, Marinette,” he said, touching her arm gently. “I never would have thought – I-I mean, you seemed perfectly fine until I saw you running that night.”

She shrugged. “It’s been happening for a long time now. I’m more or less coping and I keep trying different things to see what helps.”

“Like what?”

“Well, taking time to regulate my breathing usually helps when I feel my anxiety coming. If that doesn’t help, I try to talk to myself, just to remind myself that I’m safe. That nothing can hurt me where I am. My friend, Alya, has been really supportive. She’s started to notice when I’m close to having flashbacks or when I just need to leave a stressful situation. I should have reached out to her sooner instead of trying to deal with it on my own…”

Chat nodded, listening intently. Then his ears flattened and he crossed his arms over his chest as a cold wind cut through their path.

“This is silly. Why don’t we share the blanket? Here,” Marinette said, extending half of the blanket out to him.

His ears perked up. “Are you sure?”

A blush spread across her cheeks. I’m about to be borderline cuddling a stranger, but I can’t just let him sit there and be cold either. Besides, he’s not a stranger. He just doesn’t know that he isn’t.

“Yeah,” she insisted, timidly tucking her hair behind her ear.

Chat didn’t hesitate after that, scooting closer and wrapping his half of the blanket around his shoulders. “Thank you, princess.”

“Yeah, don’t get too cozy,” she answered, trying to play off her uncertainty and playfully bumping his shoulder into his.

Chat’s eyes drooped as he looked out at the street lights. He looked more relaxed and content than usual.

“Are you feeling sleepy, Chat?”

“Oh, I’m always sleepy.”

Out of habit, Marinette’s hand wandered to the nape of his neck, gently rubbing up into his hair.

A purr soon escaped from his chest and his eyes widened in surprise.

She quickly removed her hand after realizing what she had done.

I can’t do that! Ladybug pets Chat Noir, not Marinette! What was I thinking?

“Y-You purr,” she stammered, acting as though she hadn’t already known.

Chat, for his part, seemed very embarrassed as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. I do. I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to. It just happens.”

“No, it’s fine! I-I shouldn’t have petted you! You just seemed really cozy and I …” Marinette shrugged helplessly.

“No, I really didn’t mind, Marinette. I was getting pretty close to purring anyway just from the warmth. It’s really rare that I’m comfortable like this.”

“Really?”

He laughed. “I’m pretty much always starved for affection.”

She gave him a half-hearted smile, reaching for his neck again, but hovering just above it. “So, is this okay then?”

“Yes, it’s fine, Marinette,” he said, leaning into her touch. “I’m glad I came to check on you. I’m feeling much better than I did before.”

“How were you feeling before?”

He nuzzled his hair down into her hand and didn’t answer as he started to purr.

“Chat?”

He looked up at her, sad bright eyes staring into hers. “It wasn’t good. I was … I was feeling pretty worthless actually, which has kind of become a normal feeling for me nowadays.”

She looked at him apologetically and scooted closer to him, continuing to trace her fingers from his neck to his hair and back.

“Chat, you know you’re important too, right? When you last saw me, you told me I’m a good person and that I deserve better, but so do you. You’re funny and sweet and Ladybug wouldn’t be able to save the city if it wasn’t for you. I might not be able to help much, but if you ever want to stop by and talk, just stop by. I’ll put a light out by my window when it’s safe to show up. Okay?”

He glanced at her again, looking like a starved cat that had finally gotten a meal.

“Thank you, Marinette,” he whispered.

The two sat in silence, enjoying each other’s warmth, and waiting for tomorrow to come.

Chapter Text

When she almost fell asleep on his shoulder, Chat Noir woke her up and helped her down to her bed, murmuring a soft goodbye to her as she grumbled one in return.

She looked so calm and there was a small smile on her lips when he ran his fingers over her hair.

He wanted to lean down and kiss her forehead.

He wasn’t sure why. He did always find her attractive and endearing, but … he had never thought about her this way before.

So he didn’t go through with it.

Instead, he went back home and he slept for a few hours, wishing he could have enjoyed her warmth just a little longer.

In the morning, Adrien felt more confused than ever and strangely ashamed about what had happened.

Marinette had been so kind to him, giving him warmth and affection without asking for anything in return. And without even knowing who he was.

Kissing her would have been crossing a line that he wasn’t ready to cross. And he was sure she would never welcome him back if he overstepped it.

Besides, what about Ladybug? She’s the one I should be going to for comfort. She’s the one I’ve always trusted.

Still, Marinette’s soft smile couldn’t seem to escape his thoughts that morning.

Adrien’s sleepiness didn’t improve later that day. It took all of his focus to try to pay attention to what Nino was saying.

Something about an iconic DJ performing…

“And my parents won’t let me go because it’s after nine on a school night!” Nino whined. “So uncool! It’s not like I won’t still show up to school the next day.”

“What are you going to do? Are you going to sneak out?” Alya asked, leaning over her desk to talk to them.

“Maybe. I don’t know if I can get away with it though. My mom is such a light sleeper. She once woke up because she heard our dog eating downstairs and thought it was an intruder.”

Adrien glanced up at Marinette, who had her nose buried in a sketch pad and seemed completely enthralled with whatever she was working on.

The sunlight brought out the tiny freckles on her face and her eyes were as bright as sapphires.

They suddenly shot up to look at him just as he was already looking away and he hoped she hadn’t noticed him staring.

“Dude,” Nino said.

“W-What?” Adrien stammered.

“Haven’t you heard anything I’ve said, bro?”

“No. I haven’t. I’m sorry, Nino. I’m just really tired.”

“Alya was asking if we wanted to go have lunch at that café. The one with the little sandwiches that I almost ate three of? I’m going. Are you?”

“Sure.” He looked at Marinette. “Will it be the four of us then?”

Her blue eyes widened and she exclaimed, “Will be going! I-I mean, yes! I’ll be going too!”

“I’m excited to try their new chocolate croissants,” Alya interjected, covering up for her friend.

Marinette hid her flushed cheeks behind her sketchpad.

The teacher soon came in and the class grew silent.

Adrien tried not to glance over his shoulder, but he was very curious as to how long it would take for Marinette’s cheeks to change back.

Much to his disappointment, Adrien had even less luck getting her to open up during their lunch together. Marinette had baguette slices and soup, more focused on stirring it than conversing. Alya and Nino kept the conversation going, discussing their classmates, schoolwork, and upcoming social events, but Marinette contributed nothing.

It seemed that her embarrassment earlier brought her to the conclusion that it was better to just not speak at all.

Outside, a horn blared, startling her and causing her to clench her spoon in her hand. Her eyes went vacant. Her posture straightened and she seemed ready to leap out of her seat.

“Hey, Marinette,” Alya soothed. She gently leaned over and continued to speak softly. “It’s okay. Just a car. You’re safe. Alright?”

Her friend nodded, took a slow breath, and whispered, “Right. S-Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Her friend smiled brightly and reached over, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Wow. Alya really is helping her…

Just like that, Marinette was back. She immersed herself in the taste of her food, in listening enthusiastically to the conversation, and contributing when the conversation led her way.

Adrien found that, so long as he didn’t speak directly to Marinette, she was more or less able to speak without blushing or stuttering.

Why is she always so painfully shy around me? She seems so interesting and nice. I wish she could just open up more…

“Oh. I forgot my baguette slices,” Marinette murmured, taking one from her plate and dipping it into her soup.

Adrien smirked. “Don’t you want to wheat them?”

She looked surprised. Then a small giggle burst through her and she hid her smile behind her hand.

Nino snorted. “Dude, that was so bad.”

Adrien shrugged unapologetically, pleased just to have gotten a smile out of Marinette.

Why doesn’t she ever laugh when I make those jokes as Chat Noir? Does she not want to give me the satisfaction?

He brushed the thought aside and continued eating, happy to have gotten this chance to hear her laugh.

Chapter Text

After a week of keeping a solar powered light by the window, Marinette was starting to think Chat would never show up again.

She looked out the window, watching the raindrops and knowing it was probably for the best that he didn’t show up.

I shouldn’t be expecting him to come, especially not in this rain. Anyway, he barely knows me. He would never think I’m as interesting as I act when I’m Ladybug. And just because I invited him, that doesn’t mean he’ll come back.

Marinette was about to turn in for the night. She started cleaning off her desk and putting away scraps of fabric into a box.

Then a tapping noise interrupted her.

She tried not to look too enthusiastic as she went up the steps and opened the balcony window.

A sad cat looked down, giving her a halfhearted smile.

“Oh no! You’re drenched!” she exclaimed.

“I-I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be silly! I’ll go grab you some towels. Just, uh, stay here!”

He winked at her. “Not going anywhere, princess.”

She felt surprisingly flustered by his wink and quickly closed the balcony window again.

After a minute or two of scrambling for towels, she hurried back and helped Chat Noir down into her bedroom.

“I’m sorry I haven’t stopped by sooner,” he said, rubbing a towel into his hair and using another to wipe the rainwater off his leather suit.

“No, you don’t need to apologize. I’m sure a super hero has plenty of things to do.”

“Well, yeah.” He dropped the towel around his shoulders and flexed his muscles. “Saving the world, posing for pictures, saving damsels in distress… It is all very tiresome.”

Marinette snorted. “You seem to manage.”

“It’s mostly thanks to Ladybug,” he said, shrugging and smiling at her, but his smile didn’t look quite as genuine as she was used to.

“Hey, are you alright?” she asked, stepping closer.

He couldn’t meet her eyes and he put a towel over his head, apathetically shaking his hair into it.

Marinette furrowed her eyebrows at his silence and sat down on her bed, patting the spot next to her. “Come here. Sit.”

“I’m still damp, Marinette. I don’t want to get your bed wet.”

She shrugged. “So put down a towel and sit on the floor in front of me.”

He hesitated, but soon did as he was told.

Marinette grabbed her pillow and held it in her lap.

“So,” she started. “What’s going on? Do you want to talk about it?”

He sat with his legs crossed and eyes lowered. A few drops of water dripped from his hair to his lap.

 “Chat?”

“I’m sorry. I-I just don’t know how to talk about what’s been going on. I don’t talk to anyone about it. I just … I couldn’t stand to be home anymore, so I left. I’ve been out for hours and I know you said I could stop by, but you always look busy when I check in, so I tried to stay away.”

“You stopped by before?”

He nodded quietly.

“Chat,” she murmured, tossing aside her pillow and crawling down to sit across him. “I know you don’t know me very well, but … you helped me a lot. With the Evillustrator and catching me when I fainted that night … I’d be happy if I could return the favor.”

Much to her surprise, his bottom lip quivered and he bit it hard until the color faded under his teeth. She silently moved closer, her hand reaching over and touching his upper arm, staring worriedly at him.

“I don’t know what to do, Marinette. I just can’t go back home right now. I can’t. I get lost in my own head when I’m there. It just feels so empty and I feel so alone and–” his voice cracked and he gulped, swallowing the words down.

“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to leave. You can stay the whole night if you want, Chat. I don’t mind. I’d like the company actually.”

His eyes met hers for the first time since before he’d taken a seat and it looked like he was blinking away tears.

“Really?” he whispered.

“Of course, chaton.”

“Thank you, Marinette.”

Strong, but slightly damp arms, suddenly wrapped around her, almost knocking her back to the bed behind her. Wet hair tickled against her face.

She awkwardly patted his back.

Just as quickly as the hug had started, it ended by Chat Noir clearing his throat and drawing back, looking ashamed with himself. He rubbed the corners of his eyes and looked slightly annoyed with his mask being in the way.

Oh, mon chaton. What am I going to do with you?

“I’m sorry,” he muttered awkwardly. “Uh, anyway, h-how have you been?”

“I’ve been … okay. I guess. I’m sleeping a little better and I’ve been really focusing on my work.”

Chat curiously peered over to the floor below. “What are you working on?”

“I can show you. Come on.”

Marinette stood and brushed past him, leading him down the stairs to the dress form. Her ombre blue dress was almost finished now, minus a few loose strings. It was a fifties styled dress with a sweetheart neckline. At the bottom of it, where the blue grew lighter, there were white shapes rising up from it in geometric patterns.

“Wow. It’s beautiful, Marinette.”

“It’s inspired by the Paris skyline. My mother’s birthday is coming up and she’s always complaining that she doesn’t have enough fancy dresses for her date nights with my dad, so I thought it’d be the perfect gift.”

Chat took a seat at her desk, sitting backwards in her chair. “You’re so talented. I can’t believe you made that in just a few days.”

She beamed at the praise. It was always so reassuring to hear that her creativity had paid off.

But then Chat’s eyes landed on a picture on the wall and Marinette cringed.

How did I manage to take all the pictures of Adrien down except for that one?

As far as pictures went though, at least it wasn’t the most embarrassing one.

“That’s, uh … that’s Adrien Agreste,” she quickly explained. “I-I made the hat he was wearing, so I thought I’d keep one of the photos from his shoot.”

Chat looked hard at the photo and smirked. “He’s pretty good looking. Not as good looking as I am, of course.”

She rolled her eyes.

“So, is he one of those typically clueless models?” he asked.

She blinked. “No! Of course not! He’s actually very kind and intelligent! He’s probably one of the coolest people I know!”

“Cooler than me?”

“He certainly doesn’t pun as much as you do, so I think so.”

He laughed loudly, much to Marinette’s confusion. “So are you close to him then?”

“Uh, no. I-I can’t even talk to him. He’s just … a classmate. That’s all.”

Chat’s green eyes stared up at her, thoughts clearly running through his head, but she couldn’t predict any of them through his expressions.

“Well,” he finally said, “he’s lucky to have such a lovely classmate around.”

Marinette’s cheeks burned and she shook her head. “You’re such a flirt. How many other girls do you visit in the middle of the night to compliment?”

“None, princess. Only you. And I’m not a flirt either. The only girls I have a fondness for are you and Ladybug.”

“You’re fond of me?”

“Of course. And if you’re really so suspicious of what I do other nights, then I’ll just have to stop by every night to reassure you. Won’t I?”

She crossed her arms and lowered her eyes. “Th-That isn’t necessary.”

“I would do it, you know.” He stood up, stepping closer to her. “I really do enjoy spending time together. Don’t you?”

A smile made its way to Marinette’s lips and she softly admitted, “Well, I did sleep a lot better after your last visit.”

He took her hand and bowed. “Anything for my purrfect purrincess.”

“You’re too much.”

“Do you mean I’m mew much?” he asked.

“No, I don’t.”

“Meowch!”

“You’ll live.”

Marinette reached out, her fingers grazing the back of his neck. He stood up straight, leaning into her touch as a low purr slowly vibrated from him.

“Are you sure you’re okay with me staying here tonight?” he murmured.

“I’m perfectly okay with it, Chat. Don’t worry.”

His eyes closed partially, leaning closer to her. And she could tell, as sad as it was, that Chat felt much more at home with her than he did elsewhere.

Marinette never knew Chat could purr so much. She could feel it through the comforter of her mattress, but she didn’t mind. Chat was all but pressed against her, smiling pleasantly at every scratch and gentle caress she gave him.

A part of her worried that she was crossing a line. She didn’t even know who Chat was under his mask, but there he was; in her bed, completely immersed in receiving any affection she was willing to give.

And she didn’t want him to leave. She liked the warmth of having him so close, of knowing that when she fell asleep – which seemed to be soon – he might still be there to calm her nightmares.

Her fingers were getting lazy against the nape of his neck, but he didn’t seem to care. He was breathing softly, eyes closed in tranquility.

“Chat?” she whispered.

“Yes?” His voice was raspy and she wondered if it always got that way when he was close to sleeping.

“Thank you for staying.”

“Of course, Marinette. Thank you for letting me.”

He scooted closer, his arm draping over her waist.

His lips looked tantalizing in the moonlight and Marinette licked her own at an intrusive thought.

I wonder what it would be like to kiss him without him being akumatized…

Oh my god. What am I thinking?!

Chat’s eyes opened and she panicked, thinking she had voiced her thoughts aloud.

Luckily, he just lifted his arm up slightly, raising it over her uncertainly. “I’m sorry. Is this okay? I-I shouldn’t assume you’d be okay with me holding you and–”

“I, uh, th-this is okay.”

“Are you sure?”

She smiled and nodded, adding pressure to the way she caressed the back of his neck.

“Yes. I’m sure,” she whispered, scooting closer to him.

The two soon fell asleep in each other’s arms, getting better rest than they had in ages.

Chapter Text

Adrien took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he rolled over in his bed.

He wished he could see Marinette, but he had only ever visited her during the night a few times in the last couple of weeks. It was now the middle of the day and he wasn’t sure if she’d be busy or if he’d be unwelcomed.

His skin crawled with discomfort and he couldn’t find a way to shut his thoughts out. They kept whispering to him, luring him into believing that what they said was the truth.

I’m never going to be the son he wants me to be. I’m never going to be good enough.

Why is Marinette so kind to me? I don’t deserve it. I’m a terrible person. I could never be worthy of her friendship.

Why can’t I just be okay again? Why does everything I do just leave me empty? I want this all to end. I just want it to end…

Plagg crawled under the covers until he reached Adrien, who had buried himself in a pile of pillows.

“Hey, kid. Maybe you should get out of bed soon,” he murmured.

Adrien shook his head. “I can’t right now.”

“You need to. You’ve barely eaten anything today. As much of a distraction as saving Paris is from my eating cheese, we should probably keep you healthy so you can keep doing it.”

Adrien turned away from Plagg, hiding his face further away.

“Why don’t you get out of here as Chat Noir? We can even see what that cute girl of yours is doing.”

“She’s not mine.”

“Heh. Not with that attitude she won’t be. Let’s go! Come on, Adrien!” He started tugging gently at a few blonde strands.

“Ouch. Plagg.”

“I won’t stop until you get up!” he sang.

“Fine! Claws out then!”

Plagg disappeared into his ring as he transformed.

Then Chat Noir, fully in leather, purred as he curled up tighter in his blanket.

He could sense Plagg’s exasperation, but after a minute, he decided the kwami was right. He did need to leave. He could barely lift his body out of bed, but it needed to be done if he had any hope of feeling better.

Chat took a detour from his usual patrol route to check out the building he saw his father go into weeks ago.

The black car was parked in the alleyway again.

I wonder if there’s any way I can run the plates on that car to see if my dad owns it or not. Maybe that could give me something to go on at least.

His eyes darted to the door, wishing he had been able to see what code his father used.

There’s no way to get inside without that code.

And I don’t think I could get away with using cataclysm to get inside. What if someone catches me and accuses me of using my powers to break into places?

He thought of Alya and what her Ladyblog would say if she caught him on camera.

An incoming call on his staff alarmed him.

The staff slid open and Ladybug’s beautiful face appeared on the screen. “Glad you’re already in gear! There’s an akuma attack at the Louvre! Meet me there!”

“Sure! I’d Louvre too!”

“Ugh! Now is not the time! There’s a–”

The call ended without warning.

Well then. Duty calls, I guess.

Everything was covered in sweets. He had never seen so many pastries, chocolates, and deserts in his entire life. And all of them were twice his size!

How can this much delicious food be a bad thing?

There was so much candy around the Louvre that he couldn’t quite see where the action was, but it wasn’t too long before the giant animate gummy bears drew his attention.

They ran towards citizens, snatching them up into their sticky arms and shoving sweets into their mouths.

Ladybug’s yoyo whipped through the air, shooting out across a few of the bears and wrapping around a streetlight. A light tug and they were all tripping over their stubby feet.

“I won’t stop until every last tooth is rotten to the core!”

An akumatized woman in an unusual outfit rode in on one of her red gummy bears. She wore a white vest that was short in the front, but dropped down to her knees in the back. There were upside-down ice cream cones jutting out from her shoulders and her brown hair, which was spun into two buns at the sides of her head, had batches of white in it to imitate the frosting of a cinnamon roll. Under her long vest, she wore a pink blouse and pants with one leg colored like a candy cane and the other like an assortment of sprinkles.  Over her nose and mouth, she wore a black surgical mask, making her blue eyes look piercing in contrast.

She stood on her gummy bear, waving her giant toothbrush out in one hand and keeping her free hand over the extra-large container of dental floss strapped to her hip.

“I am Sweet Truth and I will not stop until everyone gets the cavities they all deserve for lying to me!”

Chat Noir smirked and took a running charge at her. “Sorry, Sweet Truth! I didn’t leave any room for dessert!”

He used his staff to pole-vault himself up into the air and fling himself into a flying kick.

This led to Sweet Truth ducking and his crashing into what thankfully ended up being a mountain of marshmallows.

The ongoing battle after that felt as though it went on forever. Sweet Truth used her toothbrush to summon sweets out of nowhere, pelting them with hard candy and sharpened candy canes. She tried to blind them with cotton candy, tie them up with her dental floss, and crush them with large jawbreakers that nearly ran them over Indiana Jones style.

Out of breath and trying to regroup, Chat Noir and Ladybug hid behind a giant cookie to come up with a plan.

“I just don’t know where the akuma is,” Ladybug panted. “I don’t see any personal items on her at all!”

“I know. Defeating her is like pulling teeth.”

“Really? Now of all times?”

He shrugged helplessly. Then his eyes widened as he saw Sweet Truth darting out from behind a fallen lollipop. She raised her toothbrush and something caught his eye.

Her surgical mask. Maybe that’s where the akuma was.

Something sprang forth from the toothbrush.

“Ladybug, look out!”

He shoved her out of the way, taking the full impact of the enormous gummy worm thrown at him. It wrapped itself around him, squeezing tightly until he felt he could barely breathe.

“Chat!”

“The mask! I think it’s the akuma and–”

“That’s quite enough of that!”

The gummy worm wrapped itself up higher, crushing his chest and covering his mouth and nose. His hands flailed uselessly at his side, trying to get his staff in a position where he could actually activate it.

“Lucky charm!” he heard Ladybug cry out.

But he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. And he almost wanted to give into that.

How much easier would things be if I gave up? I’d never have to feel anything. None of the bad thoughts could touch me.

Nothing…

Blue eyes flashed through his thoughts.

Whether they were Marinette’s or Ladybug’s he wasn’t sure, but he knew one thing for certain.

I’ll keep fighting. For her. For both of them. I can’t let them down.

Somewhere, he was sure he heard Ladybug crying out.

She needed him. And Marinette needed him.

He had to keep going.

He contorted his arm as best as he could, pain shooting up in the unnatural way he twisted it.

“C-Cataclysm!”

His hand touched the worm and it melted away into nothing.

Chat’s lungs felt as though they were about to rip open with the sudden rush of air flowing into him. He collapsed to the ground, coughing and sputtering, wrapping his arms around his aching chest.

“Miraculous Ladybug!”

He rolled over to his side, more grateful than ever to hear his lady’s famous phrase.

“Chat!” She was soon next to him, turning him over to get a look at him. “I’m so sorry. I tried to work faster, but–“

“It’s okay, my lady. I’m okay.” He grunted as he stood up, but winced abruptly and clenched his ribs. They hurt every time he breathed.

“Wait, why are you still in pain?” she gasped.

“I-I don’t know.”

“It’s … It’s supposed to be all better. I’m supposed to heal everything. Why didn’t it work?”

“Hey, it’s okay. We still got out of that sticky situation.”

“No! If I had just been faster you wouldn’t be—”

“Ladybug,” he interjected as he took her hand in both of his. “I’m alright. I’m alive and the akuma was defeated, bugaboo. That’s all that matters. You need to go now before you’re revealed. I’ll be okay. I promise.”

Tears were in her eyes. “I should have been faster.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself. This was all Hawkmoth’s doing. Not you.”

Her earrings beeped their second to last warning.

He kissed her hand. “I’m sure I’ll be better by the time we see each other, but right now you need to go.”

She gulped and nodded before backing away slowly. Tears fell down her face as she turned away and took off.

And Chat Noir winced as he struggled to do the same.

Chapter Text

Chat hadn’t stopped by the last couple of days and Marinette was worried. He was holding his chest after the battle as though he was trying to keep it together and he did always tend to play off his injuries.

At least now she had the answer to one of her questions. Her miraculous could not, in fact, fix everything.

I should have been quicker. What if his injuries are severe? What if he’s dying in a hospital somewhere all because of me? What if he dies and I never even know who he is?

“Marinette?”

She looked up from her bench, seeing Alya crossing the schoolyard to her.

“Are you alright, girl? You were kind of staring off into space again.”

“Oh. Yeah. I’m fine.” Her voice was raspy and she cleared her throat.

Alya reached over and touched her friend’s forehead. “You look a little pale.”

She cleared her throat again. “Yeah. I think I’m getting a cold.”

A shiver went up her spine and she shrunk into her coat. After a year and a half of being a hero, she still couldn’t seem to get used to the new effects winter had on her.

Alya took Marinette’s hands and rubbed them, trying to get some heat into her frozen fingers.

“Let’s get you inside,” she said. “You always get so sick this time of year.”

Marinette nodded and followed her friend to class.

“Hey, have you checked the Ladyblog lately? The site’s really been blowing up ever since I posted that footage of the battle a few days ago. Everyone is speculating on whether Chat Noir’s injuries are serious or not.”

Marinette cringed. She was usually so good at keeping an eye out for Alya. But with the stress of knowing that Chat was in danger, she didn’t think to worry about whether there was a camera around.

“I hope he’s okay,” Marinette whispered.

Alya raised an eyebrow.

“I-I mean, we never know when the next akuma will attack. We need him and Ladybug to keep us safe. You know?”

“Ha! You sure you don’t just like him? Blondes seem to be your type.”

Marinette was interrupted before she could stammer out a response.

“Hey, girls!” Nino jogged over to them, followed by Adrien, who took a much slower stride behind him. “Please tell me you have notes for the vocabulary test!”

Alya smirked. “Did you lose yours again?”

“Just … part of them.”

“Relax, Nino. I got you covered. You can go over them before class with me.”

“Awesome! You’re the best, Alya.”

“Yeah, I know,” she said, elbowing him playfully.

The two of them entered the class ahead of Adrien and Marinette.

Adrien stopped, letting Marinette go in first.

“Oh, um. Thanks,” she said as they reached their desks. Then she turned away, coughing into her shoulder.

“Are you getting a cold?”

“Yeah. I-I think so. I always get sick this time of year.”

“Wait a moment,” Adrien said, shoving his hand into his messenger bag. He pulled out a red cough drop and held it out to her. “That should at least help your throat feel better. Let me know if you need more. Nino gets colds often too, so I always carry them around in case he needs one.”

Marinette blushed. “Thank you, Adrien.”

He smiled and winked at her. Then he looked surprised, as though he hadn’t intended on doing that. He hurriedly sat in his seat, facing away from her.

Marinette, still blushing from her interaction with him, took her own seat and enjoyed the relief that the cough drop brought to her throat.

She watched as Nino leaned over, telling Adrien a dumb joke that cracked the blonde up.

But he stopped short, wincing and wrapping his arms around his torso.

“Oh, sorry, dude,” Nino apologized. “Is that fencing injury still bothering you? I still don’t get how you got hurt under all that fluffy armor they make you wear.”

“Y-Yeah. It was my own fault. I was just being reckless. That’s all.”

Adrien’s hurt too? That’s a strange coincidence…

Marinette pushed the thought aside as Ms. Bustier came in, ready to start class.

Alya and Marinette met by their lockers later that afternoon, exchanging books and chit-chatting.

“So,” Alya coyly murmured. “Adrien was pretty nice to you earlier.”

“He’s nice to everyone.”

“And he smiled at you.”

“He smiles at everyone.”

“What’s going on, girl? Don’t you like him anymore?”

“I do. It’s just … It’s been a year and a half, but I’m still unable to tell him how I feel. I think it’s time I move on. I should just give up already.”

Alya’s mouth dropped. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” she said with a sad, but decisive nod. “I have too many other things going on anyway and I really should start focusing more on my future as a designer. My crush on Adrien has always been such a distraction. Maybe it’s time I grow up a little bit more and start learning when to let things go.”

“But he’s a model! If anything, he’ll help inspire your future as a designer!”

Marinette shot her a tired look and Alya sighed and shrugged.

“Okay, girl. I respect your choice, but I’m still Team Adrinette all the way. It’s a damn shame you’re letting him go.”

Marinette had tears in her eyes as she turned away. “It’s so stupid, but I feel like I’m breaking up with him even though we were never together to begin with.”

Alya hugged her friend and gently rubbed her back. “Hey, are you sure there isn’t more to this than you’re letting on?”

She cleared her throat and wiped  a tear from her face. “Maybe there is. I-I don’t know. Alya, do you think … do you think it’s possible to like two people at the same time?”

“Of course it is! Why? Do you have someone else in mind?”

“Maybe. I don’t know yet. Let’s just say he’s a bit of a catastrophe.” She frowned “And so am I, really.”

“What?”

Marinette smiled. “Nothing. Let’s get to class.”

Neither of them knew that just out of sight, on the other side of the lockers, Adrien had overheard the whole thing.

Chapter Text

Nino was walking past the lockers – just minding his business – when he was snatched up by the back of his shirt and pulled towards a hallway.

He nearly slipped, headphones almost falling off his neck, as he was spun around to see his frazzled best friend as the assailant.

“Dude,” Nino said, with a smirk. “I don’t mind being a little man-handled by you, but could you give a bro some warning next time.”

Adrien looked shell-shocked as he stammered, “I-I just overheard Marinette tell Alya that she has a crush on me.”

He snorted. “No shit, bro.”

“You knew?”

“Everyone knows. Except for you obviously.” Nino reached over and affectionately messed up Adrien’s hair. “Don’t be such a blonde stereotype.”

He scowled and fixed his hair. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“It was her crush. If she wasn’t ready to tell you, it would be a dick move for me to tell you anyway. Wouldn’t it?”

Adrien hated to admit it, but Nino was right. He would have done the same thing if he was in his position.

“So?” his friend prompted, nudging him. “What are you going to do? Do you like her too?”

“I-I think so. I’m not sure.”

That was a lie. He was really starting to adore Marinette, but she, of course, didn’t know that. She didn’t know that he was actually the one under the mask.

Then there was Ladybug to think about…

The whole thing was just so complicated.

“Well, don’t wait too long, dude. Half the class has had a crush on Marinette at some point or another. Even I did once. Remember?”

Adrien snorted. “I remember having to talk to you through it.”

“Come on, man,” Nino laughed. “Let’s go get some lunch.”

Adrien mostly just laid in bed for the next two days, constantly having to ignore Plagg’s insistent tugs at his hair.

There was just so much on his mind.

Marinette likes me. Both sides of me. How is that even possible? What could she possibly even like about me?

How would a relationship with her even work? If I went for it, would I try to date her as Adrien or Chat Noir? Would she still even give Adrien a chance? But if I try as Chat, we’ll never be able to do what other couples do. We’ll never go anywhere in public together. Not even for a date. Can a relationship even work when confined to one room?

And what about Ladybug? I’ve loved her for over a year. She’s so confident and fearless. She’s perfect and flawless… And … and I’ve held her up on a pedestal so high that I’ll never be able to reach her.

At least with Marinette, I know I have a chance. I know I can be happy with her. And she’s willing to give up Adrien to pursue Chat Noir. Sure, I’m the same person, but she doesn’t know that.

She was willing to make that choice.

Am I?

“Kid, you’re driving me nuts here!” Plagg complained loudly from his seat next to Adrien on the bed. “You might not be sulking as much, but you’re still just lying about. Just make a choice already!”

“I can’t. And it doesn’t matter anyway,” he sighed. “I don’t deserve either of them.”

The bad thoughts swarmed throughout him. He curled up tightly, wishing he could disappear. Wishing he had never existed.

“Hey, don’t talk like that. You’re a decent kid and–”

“Adrien!”

He had never heard his father’s voice yell so loudly before. Plagg scampered away, hiding under the bed. Adrien shot up from bed and watched as his father stormed into his bedroom.

“How dare you keep abandoning your duties?! You’ve missed all your classes this week! Your bodyguard and Nathalie tell me you keep avoiding them and running off! What on earth is your excuse for your pathetic lack of responsibility?!”

Adrien gulped hard.

Well. I knew this was coming. What am I supposed to tell him?  That a gummy worm nearly suffocated me to death last week and that I kind of wish it had?

“I just needed to take a mental break, Father,” he calmly explained, “and I knew you wouldn’t have given it to me if I asked for it.”

“A mental break?”

“Yes. Despite what you wish, I am not actually a robot. I can’t keep up with always having a busy schedule and I deserve time to rest.”

“I give you plenty of time to rest! You know how important those classes are and how they can help you with your future! And the connections you’ll make during your photo shoots now will help you advance in your career later in life!”

“Father, I’m really not sure I want to even be a model. And I need a break. Everything you throw at me is overwhelming.”

“You disobeyed me, Adrien! You cannot be successful without responsibilities and respect!” his father snapped, towering over him, which was harder to do now with Adrien’s recent growth spurt. “You snuck away without permission and regardless of your intentions, you will be punished for that!”

“You’re one to talk about sneaking out! You act like you’ve never been a kid before! Like you’ve never been stressed in your life! It wasn’t as though I was using the time to sneak away to abandoned buildings like you do! I was just trying to get some goddamn rest!”

Gabriel Agreste looked stunned. He drew away from his son. Then he squared his jaw and curled his fists by his sides.

“What I do is none of your concern. You are my son and you will do as I wish. Is that understood?”

“You’ve never once treated me like your son! All you do is treat me like a stranger that you’re allowed to boss around!”

“I will hear no more of your nonsense. You’re grounded!”

Mr. Agreste stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Plagg carefully came out from under the covers. “Uh, Adrien?”

Angry tears were flowing down Adrien’s face. His cheeks were blotchy and he took a deep breath as he extended his ring to his kwami.

“Plagg, let’s get out of here. Claws out.”

Chat Noir tried to find Marinette, hoping that seeing her again would help him feel better, but she wasn’t home.

He spent the next hour or so brooding on a rooftop, watching the sky change from early evening reds and oranges to twilight blues and blacks.

All I want to do is see Marinette and I’ve barely even thought about Ladybug since I’ve left the house.

Maybe this is some sort of sign…

He thought back to the fight he had with his father and gritted his teeth. Adrien had never lost it like that around him and even when he defended himself, his father was completely unwilling to listen.

But running away isn’t going to change anything either. He’s still my father and I still can’t even take a breath without his approval.

I hate him. I really fucking hate him.

A scream pulled him out of his dark mood and he took off towards the sound. It led him to the park where the wreckage of a party awaited in the far corner. Most of the people were already fleeing. Tables were toppled over. Food and gifts were discarded.

The akuma soon made its appearance as a preteen flying in the air with large black wings. She wore a suit of armor made of black mirrors. There was a matching black hood over her loose black hair and black grease paint across her eyes.

A woman ran to her and begged, “Please, Adeline! I was just trying to help cheer you up!”

“I’m not Adeline anymore! I’m Self-Image! Why can’t you understand that I can’t be cured? I didn’t choose to be depressed! I can’t rewire the way my brain works! This is a part of me and a stupid birthday party isn’t going to magically cheer me up!” The girl had tears rolling down her face, carrying the grease paint down her cheeks. She raised her hand and screamed, “I’ll show you! I’ll show you all what it’s like to only see the worst about yourself!”

Self-Image shot a black beam out towards her mother.

It hit her mother and she fell to her knees, eyes downcast with defeat.

“I’m a terrible parent,” the mother whispered. “I’ll never be able to help her.”

The woman sobbed into her hands, completely overwhelmed by her emotions.

Then Self-Image moved on to her next victim.

Chat saw pigtails out of the corner of his eyes. Marinette was bundled in a heavy layer of sweaters, cutting across the park to get home.

And Self-Image was flying right for her.

Time stood still.

He raced to her, leaping across the park and using his staff to propel himself. His arms wrapped around waist and tackled her out of the way. The two rolled to a stop across the grass, her landing on top of him, allowing him to bare the blunt of the pain.

Chat didn’t have time to stare too long into her beautiful bluebell eyes or to enjoy the warmth of her against his body.

Self-Image had spotted him and was dead set on getting his miraculous.

Quickly, he pulled Marinette up and grabbed her hand, helping her run away.

“Let me show you your darkest thoughts!” the akuma screamed behind him.

“No, thank you! I’ve seen them! Not a fan!”

After a brief stint of ducking behind cars, running across bushes, and avoiding black beams, Chat yanked Marinette into an alley and Self-Image lost sight of them.

Marinette was hyperventilating. She put her hands over her ears and kept her eyes down, shaking violently.

“Are you okay?” he asked, reaching out and caressing her cheek.

“Yes!” she shoved him away. “Just go! You need to go!”

“Marinette–”

“Paris needs you! I’m safe now, so just go!”

He looked at her, at the way her hands were trembling. The way her eyes were darting around fearfully. The way she looked as though she were seeing things that weren’t really there.

Something was wrong.

But she was right.

Paris needed him and he couldn’t just sit by and hope that Ladybug would just show up while he attended to Marinette.

He held her face in his hands and gently kissed her cheek.

“Please stay safe. I’ll meet you at your house when it’s all over.”

Stunned, she nodded.

He gave her a fiercely tight hug and left, wishing he could have done more.

Chapter Text

Marinette’s cheek burned where Chat had kissed her.

She closed her eyes and breathed slowly, trying to calm her heart rate down.

Inhale for four seconds.

Hold for seven.

Exhale through my mouth for eight.

She repeated the thoughts and the breathing exercise, hands still clenched at her sides.

The attack had triggered her, bringing back all the terrible battles she endured and all the horrific nightmares she had.

Night after night, she had seen her parents taken and killed in front of her. Alya was beaten to death countless times, her screams always gurgled by the blood pouring through her mouth.

And Chat … Chat always suffered far more gruesome deaths.

Stop thinking about it. It wasn’t real. You’re here now. You’re safe. You’re a hero and you need to go out there and help the city!

She focused harder on Chat’s kiss and of the warmth she had felt with him by her side all those nights before.

Inhale for four seconds.

Hold for seven.

Exhale through my mouth for eight.

Her heart steadied and she opened her eyes.

Tikki was out of her purse and she looked at her friend uncertainly.

“I-I think I can do this now,” Marinette whispered.

“Are you sure?”

“No, but what choice do I have?” She forced herself to smile. “Let’s get to it, Tikki! Spots on!”

Chat Noir seemed to have lured Self-Image away to Place Des Vosges, where there weren’t as many people and those that were there dispersed very quickly.

He scampered onto the top of a fountain, getting wet but managing to avoid the unending black beams.

“Hey!” Ladybug called out. “Why don’t you pick on someone a little more spotted?”

Self-Image gritted her teeth. “You’re always so optimistic that you’ll win, Ladybug. Let’s see how you like the feeling of defeat!”

Ladybug back-flipped out of the way, expertly avoiding the beams sent her way.

Chat Noir recovered, happy to see his partner as he leapt off the fountain and joined her.

“Any idea where the akuma is?” Ladybug asked.

“Not a clue, my lady.”

“Well, we are always up for a challenge, aren’t we? Let’s go!”

The battle seemed endless after that. A constant circle of avoiding the beams while also trying to find the akuma. The two were left with bruises from hurting themselves when trying to avoid beams. No matter what they tried, they just couldn’t seem to get close enough to have any impact.

In desperation, Ladybug yelled, “Lucky Charm!”

“You’ll never feel happiness again, Ladybug! Let me show you what it’s like to be me!”

The moment passed so quickly she could barely react. Just as her lucky charm appeared in the form of a photograph, Self-Image shot at her.

The full impact sent her crashing against a tree.

“No!”

Chat Noir was screaming, unleashing his rage into his attacks.

Ladybug just stared numbly at him when he glanced back at her, his eyes widened with panic.

The world around her became dark and lifeless. All her fear, anger, and adrenaline disappeared, leaving behind only emptiness. Thoughts began to come in overwhelming waves, one picking up just after the other left off. She could barely decipher them, only really identifying the terrible melancholy they brought along with them.

It felt though the sadness was going to drown her.

And she wanted to let it. She wanted to give in to the desperation.

I can’t keep them safe. I can’t keep fighting. It’s useless. How can I ever defeat Hawk Moth when I can’t even do something as simple as tell Adrien that I love him? I’m so pathetic. Everyone would be better off if I just disappeared.

I’m too damaged.

I’m too fragile.

I’m pathetic and useless.

I was so stupid to think I could be anyone special.

How could I possibly think that I would ever be miraculous?

She trembled and drew her knees in. “I can’t do it. I can’t win. I … I can’t save them.”

Chat was screaming for her help.

I’ll never be good enough for him. He could never love Marinette… I’m just a shoulder to cry on when no one else is around. He doesn’t actually care. How could he?

There was a distant beeping coming from her earrings, but she couldn’t seem to move.

Tears slowly fell down her cheeks.

“Please just use the lucky charm! I know you’re overwhelmed right now, but I can’t hold her off much longer! I need you, Ladybug!”

The lucky charm?

She looked down at the photograph in her hands.

It was everyone she cared about all in one photo. It had never been taken in real life, but clearly her lucky charm didn’t care what existed and what did not.

It wasn’t always like this. I was happy once.

She looked up at Self-Image, seeing the pain in her eyes and the way she hid herself behind her armor.

She was happy once too. I know it. And I have to help her before it’s too late.

Self-Image’s hood was knocked off her head and she frantically pulled the hood back on.

That’s when it clicked.

When Marinette wasn’t feeling well, her bed was the one hiding place where she could always go for comfort.

In Self-Image’s case, her place of comfort was already on her.

“The akuma is in her hoodie!” Ladybug yelled as she rose to her feet.

Her body felt so heavy and she kept hearing thoughts telling her to give up, but she fought against them.

I can’t stop fighting. If I don’t protect them, who else will?

Blinking back her tears and forcing down her misery, she ran back towards the fight, flinging her yo-yo out and wrapping the string around Self-Image’s wings to keep her still. The akuma victim fell to the ground and flailed, trying to get free.

“Cataclysm!”

Chat Noir grabbed the back of her hoodie, destroying it in his hand.

Ladybug released Self-Image to capture the akuma, cleanse it, and release it.

“Miraculous Ladybug!” she called out as a swarm of Ladybugs transformed the city back to normal.

“Are you alright, LB?” Chat asked, going to her and gently touching her arm.

She still felt a shadow of despair, but it was slowly fading away now.

“I think so, yeah,” she answered.

“Where am I?” The akuma victim, now transformed back into Adeline, sat up from the ground.

Chat Noir went to her, extending his hand to help her up.

The young girl blushed as she took it. “Y-You’re Chat Noir!”

“Yes, purrcisely,” he said as he helped her stand. “I can’t imagine how bad your depression must be for you to have gotten akumatized, but your mother seemed really upset about it and it looked like she really blames herself.”

Adeline lowered her gaze. “Yeah. She tries, but she doesn’t entirely get the whole depression thing. She thinks I just need to get out more. I try, but I just don’t enjoy it. Nothing brings me happiness anymore. And … and it’s not my fault. It’s a chemical imbalance in my brain.”

He patted her back comfortingly. “Of course, it’s not your fault. I’m sure she’ll understand eventually. She seems to at least be willing to try. Some kids don’t even have that. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.”

He glanced back at Ladybug for more encouraging words, but she was gone.

Marinette paced her room, biting her thumb nail and trying to calm herself down.

Her bravery and clarity disappeared soon after the battle. Now she was back to being as anxious as ever.

“I’m really not sure that you should go through with this,” Tikki muttered, flying alongside with her.

“I think we need to be honest with each other, Tikki. He’s going through a lot and so am I. We can better help each other if he at least knows the truth.”

“But this could be dangerous! He could accidentally reveal who you are, Marinette! Hawk Moth could target your friends and family if he somehow discovers the truth.”

“He’s already targeted many of my friends, including Alya! Her being akumatized wasn’t enough either! He had to put her in danger again when The Pharaoh wanted to sacrifice her! It’s only a matter of time before he goes after my parents and, if anything, Chat can help me protect them more than ever!”

“But it very rarely goes well when a Ladybug’s identity is revealed!”

“Just stop it already! It’s my choice! I need him! I can’t keep going on like this!”

“Marinette…”

She sank down into her chaise, burring her face into her hands and rubbing tears away from her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just don’t know what to do. I’ll be careful. I promise. But I really do believe that telling Chat Noir who I am would be for the best.”

Tikki sighed and went to her, gently touching her hands and removing them from her face. “I understand. If you really think this is for the best, then I’ll stand alongside you. No matter the outcome.”

Marinette smiled and wiped another stray tear away. “Thank you, Tikki.”

Chapter Text

Chat Noir searched for at least forty minutes, hoping Ladybug would resurface before long, but the night continued without any sign of her.

He couldn’t stop worrying. He hoped that she was being honest when she said that she was okay, but he also knew it could have been a lie just to reassure him.

With a heavy heart and lingering guilt from not being able to Self-Image from striking Ladybug, he gave up and decided to go to Marinette’s house to see how she was doing instead.

The attack really seemed to trigger something and he was worried about her too.

He saw her sitting on the balcony when he got closer to her home. She was asleep and wrapped up in two layers of blankets.

Was she waiting up for me?

Chat Noir watched her chest rising and falling.

The way her soft lips were slightly parted.

Her long eyelashes and the streetlights faintly hitting her freckles.

And her words echoed through his mind yet again.

Alya, do you think … do you think it’s possible to like two people at the same time?

Maybe it was, but he could already feel himself falling harder for Marinette.

Chat went down and landed carefully on the railing, barely making a sound.

But it was still somehow enough to startle Marinette awake.

“Hey! Sorry! It’s just me,” he said, hopping down and walking closer.

She panted and clutched her blanket around herself.

He went to her and knelt down, holding his hand out, palm up. “Just me, princess.”

She stared at him uncertainly and her hand trembled in the cold as she slid it into his. Feeling the warmth of his touch through the leather gloves, she sighed in relief and threw herself into his arms.

“I’m so glad you’re safe. I had the worst dream about you.”

He held her close, nuzzling his face into her neck and purring.

“I’m safe. Everyone’s safe, Marinette. Don’t you worry.”

His lips nearly brushed against her neck and, as tempting as it was, he stopped himself from pressing a kiss into her skin.

He pulled away and settled for gently caressing her cheek. “We should go inside. You’ll furreeze out here. Why did you stay outside anyway?”

“I was waiting for you,” she answered, groggily rubbing one of her eyes.

He took both her icy hands in his and rubbed them as he said, “I’m sorry I kept you waiting. Let’s get inside, Mari.”

The two went into her bedroom and proceeded to disappear into the bundle of blankets on her bed.

Chat Noir purred as they curled together. He felt himself relax in her arms and all the worries and fears from before drifted away.

This is where I want to be. With her.

He smiled pleasantly at the thought.

“What are you so happy about, silly kitty?”

“I’m just glad to be here with you. And I’m glad you’re safe too.” He paused and bit his lip before asking, “Do you want to talk about what happened earlier?”

The light fell away from Marinette’s eyes and she softly shook her head. “N-No. Not right now. Maybe later.”

“That’s fine. We don’t have to unless you want to,” he comforted her.

He caressed her back in small circles and his fingers trailed over where Marinette’s hip dipped towards her belly.

She shifted away from his touch, a small fit of giggles sneaking out of her.

“Oh. Are you ticklish?” An evil grin spread across his face.

“No. I’m not. I’m just … ticklish in that one spot.”

“You mean to tell me that you’re not ticklish anywhere else? I’d like to test that theory.”

“Chat, don’t you dare.”

He pounced on top of her then, careful with his claws as they ran along her flat stomach. She burst into laughter, squirming away from him and smacking his arms. His fingers moved up into her armpits and then the crook of her neck, both causing her to laugh and squirm some more.

She laughed until tears rolled out of the sides of her eyes.

“S-Stop! My p-parents will hear!” she sputtered.

Chat was feeling elated at the discovery that he could make Marinette laugh so much. It was infectious, just as her smile was.

She suddenly laughed so hard that she snorted and quickly covered her mouth in surprise.

Just when I thought her laughter couldn’t get any cuter.

“That was adorable!” he exclaimed.

A new determination gleamed in Marinette’s eyes and she smirked at him.

To his surprise, he was suddenly on his back. It took him a moment to register that she had enough strength to flip him off her and she was now sitting on top of him, pinning his arms above his head triumphantly.

“H-How did you do that?” he stammered.

“You’re not the only one who has secrets.”

His eyes darted to her lips. Her body was pressed against him and he wanted a taste of her. He wanted all the warmth she could provide. He wanted this moment to last forever. His arms slid out from her firm grasp and reached up to take her by the hips, pulling her down closer.

The two looked apprehensively at each other, both feeling uncomfortably warm. It wasn’t certain who made the first move, but the fire soon spread throughout their bodies as their lips touched.

Marinette’s lips were softer than he imagined. The kiss started slow and tender, uncertainty still in their every move. Marinette’s hand moved to his cheek and her chest pressed against him. He reached into her hair, letting the strands fall between his fingertips.

Their uncertainty gave way to want and the kiss grew in intensity. Her tongue darted out and gave a gentle nip at his bottom lip, causing him to moan softly. He groaned again as one of his arms squeezed her to him, his other hand trailing down from her hair to her throat, his thumb gently pressing just below her ear, careful not to hurt her with his claws. Both her hands went up into his hair, giving it an almost desperate tug. It seemed as though she wanted this as much as he did. He moved his lips from hers to her chin and neck, kissing, nipping, and sucking gently.

“Ch-Chat.”

One of her hands pressed against his shoulder, almost as if to push him away, but she didn’t.

So he kissed on, moving towards her collarbone.

Her fingers clutched at his suit.

His hands slid under her shirt, caressing her backside.

She whimpered under his touch, but suddenly stuttered, “W-Wait. Stop.”

Chat quickly pulled his hands away, resting at her hips. He stopped kissing her neck and looked up at her.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“No! It’s okay. I-I just … I don’t …”

“We don’t have to keep going. I would never force you into anything. I-I’m sorry. I should have asked if kissing you was okay.”

“No, Chat! I-I want to keep kissing you and I trust that you’d stop if I asked. This isn’t about that. It’s just…” She looked down at him hesitantly and pushed herself off him to sit up on his lap. “I need to tell you something before this goes any further. I-I need to be honest.”

His heart dropped and he sat up too, preparing for the worst.

Did I come on too strong? Did I mess this up before it even started? Fuck.

“Did I do something wrong?” he softly asked.

“No! No, Chat.” She held his face in her hands. “You’ve … you’ve been amazingly kind to me. I really appreciate your company and your help.”

That sounds like she doesn’t want me. But I was so sure. She even said … Did I just ruin our friendship by kissing her?

“But?” he softly pressed, trying to fight the feelings of rejection off long enough to hear her out.

“But there’s something I need to tell you and I’m not sure how it’s going to change things between us.”

He placed one of his hands over hers, eyebrows furrowed with worry. “Whatever it is, you can tell me, Marinette.”

Her blue eyes filled with hope. “Chat … if you had the chance to discover who Ladybug was, would you?”

Now he was more confused than ever.

“No. No, of course not. She doesn’t want me to know. She thinks it’s too dangerous and I might be a really curious cat, but I respect her choice. I’d never try to find out without her approval. But … why are you asking, Marinette?”

She chewed her bottom lip and looked away, crossing her arms around herself rather protectively.

“Chat … I’m Ladybug. I-I’ve been her this whole time.”

Chapter Text

Chat Noir looked more shocked than Marinette had ever seen him, but, given the circumstances, she really didn’t blame him.

The duo had moved to the lower half of her room – Chat sitting on her chaise as Marinette paced back and forth, explaining everything and introducing him to Tikki.

He seemed to be lost in his own head, looking past Marinette with his hands held together on his lap. It was as though the last year and a half was replaying before his eyes, erasing every memory he shared with Ladybug as a memory that involved Marinette instead.

“Please say something,” she finally begged him.

His eyes met hers and he stammered, “I … This … This explains so much. I-I can’t believe it.”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I feel like I should have, but you were getting so close to me as Marinette and–”

“It’s okay. I get it.”

“I just … I don’t think I can keep doing this alone, Chat. Tikki is the only one I can talk to about the nightmares and the PTSD. She’s the only one who fully understands. I rarely get a chance to talk to you as Ladybug and, as Marinette, I was keeping so much of what causes my mental illness a secret. I-I can’t keep doing it. I’m so sorry.”

Chat gave her a sympathetic look and reached out, taking her hands in his. “Marinette, if it were up to me, the cat would have been out of the bag long ago. Besides, I’m also working through my own issues. I know what it’s like to not be able to tell anyone why you feel the way you do.”

“So … you’re not upset or disappointed that it’s me?”

“I’m …” He dropped her hands and rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess I’m still processing it as the truth, but no. I’m not upset that it was you. It’s kind of a relief actually.”

 “A relief?”

“Yeah. I was so torn between you and Ladybug. I chose you as Marinette of course, but I wasn’t looking forward to the awkward discussion I’d have to share with LB about how I was pursuing someone else.” He laughed. “Now I guess I don’t have to deal with that at all.”

Tikki giggled from the desk where she was calmly watching the exchange.

Lost in her worry over Chat Noir’s reaction, Marinette had almost forgotten she was even there.

Chat grinned and stood up suddenly, grabbing Marinette by her shoulders. “I should tell you who I am! You wouldn’t believe it, but we’ve known each other outside of our masks this whole time! Marinette, I’m–”

“No! No, no, no!” Tikki quickly darted between them and glared at Chat. “She’s already risking so much by revealing who she is! Don’t you think this is enough for you to work through your mental problems and comfort each other?”

Both Chat’s expression and hands dropped.

“Tikki,” Marinette scolded. “You said you’d support this.”

“I said I would support you. Not this. It’s too dangerous! I’ve seen this happen before countless times; they revealed themselves and they or their loved ones were used against them. It always ended up terribly and I can’t let it happen again! So don’t do it! Don’t let him tell you who he is!”

“Tikki–”

The kwami flew away and hid from sight.

Marinette sighed.

“Maybe she’s right,” Chat murmured, eyes downcast. “You don’t really need to know who I am for this to work, do you? I-I’m not that great without the mask anyway.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true. There’s a lot of things that Chat would do that I would never do.”

“Like what?”

“Like having the courage to kiss you. Honestly, you’ve always intimidated me. You stand up against injustice at school, but you’re always so kind too. It’s really … admirable. I can barely even stand up against my father most of the time.”

She bit her lip and blushed. “So … we’ve known each other?”

“Yeah. I’m closer to you than you think.” He reached out, touching her face and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

She leaned in, giving him a gentle peck. “I think … I think we can make this work.”

“I’ll never be able to take you out on a date though. We’ll never be a normal couple. Do you think that will be alright?”

“It doesn’t matter. I just like being close to you. Besides, I think we left normal behind long ago when we got our kwamis.”

Chat smiled in agreement, but his eyes suddenly widened in horror. “Fuck! Marinette, I couldn’t keep you safe! I thought Self-Image hadn’t touched you, but she did when you were Ladybug!”

“It’s okay. I’m alright.”

“Mari, I deal with depression all the time. It’s not alright.”

“It was temporary. It was terrible, sure, but my mind isn’t there anymore. Don’t worry about me suddenly having depression. Okay?”

“You mean depurresion?”

“That was terrible. And kind of a stretch.”

“Oh, I apawlogize, princess. It’s a good thing my jokes aren’t illegal. I’d commit a feliney.”

She crossed her arms and pursed her lips. “Weak.”

“How are you not impawressed?!”

Marinette just smiled and rolled her eyes.

“Seriously though.” He pulled her into his arms, squeezing her protectively. “Do you want to talk about it now? About what happened?”

She reciprocated the hug and nodded softly into his shoulder. “Yeah. I think I want to talk about everything now.”

Despite feeling absolutely drained of energy, Marinette went to school in a better mood that she had in a long time. She felt at peace with everything that happened and how Chat had taken the news.

Sure, she didn’t know who he was, but she was okay with that. Besides, a part of her kind of liked the mystery of it all. It was sure kind of a turn on when they were making out…

“Hey. You’re drifting again,” Alya said as she met with her in front of the school.

“Oh! Hi! Sorry!” she stammered, smiling shyly.

“Wait a minute.” Alya squinted. “You’re not dissociating… Oh my god. You’re daydreaming! You’re happy!”

“I-I guess I kind of am. Isn’t that okay?”

“Of course it is, girl! Did something happen?”

Marinette shook her head quickly. “N-No. I’m just feeling good today. That’s all.”

Alya hugged her tightly enough that it hurt a little. “Whatever it is, I hope it lasts! It’s so nice to see your beautiful smile!”

She hid her grin behind her hand. “Stop, Alya. You’re making me blush again.”

Adrien Agreste pulled up in his limousine and stepped out with Nino. The two were carrying two cups of coffee in each hand making their way towards them.

Adrien was grinning.

“Hey! Adrien got us all coffee today!” Nino excitedly explained, handing one of his cups over to Alya. ”The place is so expensive I’ve never even been able to buy one, but damn if it isn’t delicious!”

“Here you go, Marinette.”

She gave Adrien a wide-eyed look. “Oh, um, th-thank you. Y-You really didn’t have to, but that’s r-really nice of you.”

“Be careful. It’s still really hot.”

Something about his sly grin seemed familiar, but Marinette couldn’t quite place it.

“I-I will. Thanks.”

“Adrikins!”

The entire group nearly cringed in unison.

Chloe made her way to him, locking an arm through his. “How could you get them coffee and not me?”

“Well … we only had four hands to carry them. And they were already intended for the four of us so…”

 “Ugh. Whatever. Who needs publicly sold coffee anyway? My father only has the best and rarest coffee imported from Colombia and delivered straight to our home. Yours is probably just watered down and loaded with sugar,” she huffed as she started to turn away.

Marinette rolled her eyes and grumbled as she went to take a careful sip of her drink. “All the sugar in the world couldn’t make her any sweeter.”

Adrien snorted and the four of them walked to class together.

Thanks to the coffee, Marinette managed to stay awake enough to focus on her classes that day.

She also noticed that Adrien was paying more attention to her than usual. He asked her questions like if the coffee was good, or what her answer for question three was, or if she had heard the new Jagged Stone single.

It was really strange.

Later that afternoon, she stopped by the library to return a few books. She thought she’d seen the last of Adrien back in the classroom, but he was sitting by an open laptop with local history books all around him.

She quietly walked closer, peaking over his shoulder and seeing something very familiar on the computer screen.

“Oh! I remember that old building,” she blurted out. “It used to be so beautiful. It’s a shame what happened to it.”

Adrien turned around, eyebrows raised upon seeing her.

“Uh … I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be nosy.”

“No! It’s fine! You … You’ve seen this building before?”

“My mother and I used to walk past it every day on our way to my old preschool.” She stepped over towards the computer screen, pointing out the gorgeous architecture along the large, circular window. “I used to be so inspired by it. I’ve always wanted to make a gown with that kind of symmetry and color. It’s not as beautiful now though. I heard someone bought the church a few years ago and it’s been boarded up ever since then.”

“Wait. It’s a church?”

She nodded. “An old cathedral.”

 “Of course! Of course, it’s a church! That’s why it looks familiar!” He stood up and up and hugged Marinette tightly.

Her eyes were nearly bulging out of her eyes in shock as he quickly drew away.

“Um, s-sorry. I’ve been trying to figure this out for a really long time. I need to go. Thanks for your help! You’re the best!”

Adrien quickly gathered his things and ran towards the nearest exit.

Marinette glanced after him, more confused than ever about his peculiar behavior.

Chapter Text

Adrien got home as quickly as he could and started the tedious task of searching through his enormous bookcase.

Plagg zipped out of his over-shirt and yelled, “You nearly crushed me to death when you hugged Marinette!”

“No, I didn’t. Don’t be so dramatic.”

“You dumb kids in love! You disgust me! Tikki too! Ugh!” he huffed, crossing his arms with annoyance. “It’s all her fault I was nearly smothered and Marinette endured a hug from a perfect stranger. Tikki had no business butting in your love life! I mean really, can you live?”

Adrien stopped and gave Plagg a look.

“What?”

“Marinette isn’t a stranger to Adrien. We’re friends.”

“Only friends. Of course, that could all change if you just told her the truth.”

“No. I don’t like keeping it a secret any more than Marinette does, but I respect Tikki’s opinion. At least now I know who Ladybug is and I’m able to help Marinette talk through her trauma. I think that should be enough. Besides, I’m sure Tikki has her reasons for opposing it.”

“Yeah. Stupid reasons.”

Adrien sighed and decided to ignore him, but Plagg wasn’t done. He peaked over his shoulder, watching Adrien painstakingly search the bookcase.

“For what it’s worth, you do seem happier,” the kwami said. “I think Marinette is good for you.”

Adrien smiled. “Thanks, Plagg.”

The golden spine of the photo album he’d been looking for finally caught his eye and he yanked it out, sitting down on the floor to flip through it.

“What are you even looking for?” Plagg asked, lounging on Adrien’s shoulder.

“That church. I’ve seen it before and I think I know where, but I just want to be positive.”

He flipped through the photos, seeing old pictures of his father and mother laughing together. They were barely tangible memories to him, but there they were; living proof that his family was actually happy once upon a time.

He continued searching until he found the one he was looking for.

His mother and father were standing in each other’s arms with a crowd of unfamiliar faces. There were family members and friends that had long since drifted away from them in one way or another.

It was his parent’s wedding.

The church was where they were married.

“This is it, but I-I don’t get it. What’s my father doing going back to a place that’s so run down now?”

Plagg shrugged. “Reliving memories? You humans are overly sentimental like that.”

“But … it just seems a little obsessive. Don’t you think?”

“How would I know? He’s your father.”

Adrien frowned. “I guess he’s as much a stranger to me as I am to Marinette.”

A knock interrupted him and Plagg ducked back into Adrien’s shirt. After tucking the book back into the shelf, he ran back down the spiral staircase to answer the door.

Nathalie was standing there, arms crossed delicately across her chest. “Adrien, your father would like to speak to you.”

“Then he can come find me.”

“Adrien, please just follow me. Don’t put up a fight.”

He sighed reluctantly, so she reached up to touch his shoulder and lead him out into the hallway. “Let’s just get this over with. Shall we?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Chat Noir didn’t go to see Marinette that night.

He didn’t want her to see him while he was still processing what happened in his father’s office.

He could still feel the tension in the room and the anger creeping up in both of them.

“I’ve decided to pull you out of school. Since you’re so concerned about getting proper rest, I’m sure you’ll have ample time to do it here. At home,” his father had said.

Adrien didn’t remember much after that.

But he remembered that he was screaming.

Then his father was screaming back.

He got in Gabriel’s face.

Gabriel grabbed him by the collar.

Then … then there was a stinging sensation where his father had punched him across the face.

After that, Adrien was gone.

He was afraid to go back home, but he wasn’t ready to go anywhere else either.

So he sat on a rooftop across the street from the church.

And a part of him knew that he was waiting for something. He didn’t know what, but his gut told him he was where he was meant to be.

As expected, Gabriel Agreste showed up several hours later, looking surprisingly disheveled and tired. 

Chat wondered briefly if his father had sent people looking for him. He thought about going to Nino’s house earlier in the night and was now glad he decided against it. His cheek was already starting to swell.

He could only imagine the drama of Nino trying to hide him and his father’s goons insistent on looking through the house…

Now that he was prepared, he pulled his staff out and used it as a camera, zooming in to get a better look.

Gabriel went to the keypad, punching in his anniversary date.

Then he disappeared into the building.

With his heart racing, Chat leapt down and crept to the door. He listened against it, hearing Gabriel’s footsteps moving throughout the building.

Should I really be doing this?

He locked his jaw and sighed.

He’s taking everything away from me and I’m sick of it. I want to know what he’s hiding.

Taking a deep breath, he lifted his hand and entered the code.

The door cracked open and he activated his night vision to see where he was going. To his right, there was the enormous chapel area with broken down pews and the boarded up front door and windows.

To his left, he saw a long hallway to a few different rooms and a large staircase at the end.

He heard Gabriel’s footsteps upstairs and quietly followed them up.

There was a door cracked open on the second floor.

He slowly walked closer, careful not to make a sound.

It was there that he saw his father, Gabriel Agreste, transforming into Hawk Moth.

Chapter Text

Marinette didn’t see Chat Noir for four long days after their last akuma battle.

It wouldn’t have been as unbearable if he hadn’t been seriously injured before disappearing. The akuma was a devastated leather worker whose merchandise was destroyed during a festival. His weapon of choice was a whip that left a nasty welt along Chat Noir’s face. It traveled vertically: just under his chin, up his left cheek, and over his mask, to his forehead.

The battle was mostly a blur to Ladybug, but she remembered how her shoulder and ankle were still hurting from her injuries even after she exclaimed, “Miraculous Ladybug!”

She turned around, looking back to Chat in hopes that the injury he had wasn’t as severe as it seemed to be.

He was on his hands and knees when he turned up to face her. One of his hands delicately trembled over the wound and blood oozed out between his fingers.

His green eyes were so bright in contrast with the all the red.

His ring began to beep and he disappeared after that, drops of blood the only remaining proof that he was ever there.

“What happened to me?”

Ladybug turned around and looked at Rawhide, now transformed back into their civilian form.

“Why couldn’t you just control yourself? He’s evil! Don’t you get it? Hawk Moth doesn’t care about you! He doesn’t care about anyone! All he wants is ultimate power and he doesn’t care about who gets hurt! Especially not us!”

The man looked down at himself and then around at the deserted festival. “I-I was akumatized? Ladybug, I’m so sorry–”

“Just stop! The citizens of Paris are so selfish to say yes to Hawk Moth. You’re no worse than he is!”

The older man frowned and bowed his head apologetically.

And she sighed and walked over to help him stand. “I-I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. You must have put so much work into your pieces and I would have been devastated too if it were me. What you were feeling was valid and I understand how hard it is to not let your emotions get the best of you.”

He took her open hand, but shook his head. “No, you’re right. I should have never said yes.”

“It doesn’t make the way I spoke to you any less acceptable.”

The old man smiled at her. “I accept your apology if you can accept mine.”

“Deal,” she said. Her earrings beeped and she started running off, calling out, “Take good care of yourself, sir!”

Marinette was inconsolable that night. She barely even spoke to Tikki, but that didn’t stop Tikki from trying.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” the kwami murmured. “He’ll heal and be ready to see you in no time.”

And Marinette just couldn’t take it any longer.

“I don’t even know who he is! He could be in serious danger, Tikki! His face was bleeding! How is he supposed to explain that to people or seek medical attention without being questioned? If he had just told me who he was when he wanted to, we wouldn’t be here right now! Why didn’t you just let him?!”

“Because I’ve seen this happen before, Marinette! Ladybugs and Chat Noirs alike always get hurt! Do you think the secrets are inescapable? Even after revealing themselves they were always hurt! Creation and destruction aren’t compatible!”

“You don’t know that! That doesn’t mean it will happen to us!”

“But it could and I’m just trying to protect you!”

“And I’m just trying to protect him!” Marinette sobbed. “And I failed. And he’ll fail. And we can never keep each other safe! We never will!”

Tikki frowned and went to her, soothingly touching the back of Marinette’s head as she buried herself in her pillow.

“Why? Why didn’t the magic work? I fixed everything else. Why couldn’t I help him?”

“You know, miraculous wielders were generally older and had time to train to improve their powers. They would train most of their lives before they were granted a miraculous, but you didn’t have that. You’re still learning and growing as you go. I really think your powers will work that way as well.”

“So my powers just aren’t strong enough yet? But what about Chat Noir? He’s able to use cataclysm the entire Eiffel Tower.”

“Yes, but he doesn’t have PTSD that is directly tied to combat. As far as we know, his depression may not focus on the pressure of saving Paris.” Tikki touched Marinette’s shoulder comfortingly. “You have a lot of turmoil in you, Marinette. But don’t worry. With practice and patience, your powers will improve. It’s just going to take time.”

“I don’t have time, Tikki. I’m running out of it. If we’re not careful, Hawk Moth will kill us during one of his attacks. If I can’t fix that … If lose Chat or end up dying myself—”

“I know. That’s my greatest fear too.”

The two didn’t speak again after that.

Adrien wasn’t at school the next day.

Nor the day after that.

On the third day, Marinette was on her way home from school when she saw someone walking alongside Nino.

The boy was wearing one of Nino’s hoodies and hiding his face.

Curious, Marinette crept closer and hid behind a bush.

“How much longer are you going to keep this up?” Nino asked. “Have you even eaten today?”

“Y-Yeah. I was able to get some food that a restaurant was about to throw out.”

“That’s better than nothing, I guess. The Gorilla hasn’t left my house, so it’s still not safe to go back there again.”

“Thanks. I steer clear.”

“Adrien, bro, you should go to the police and tell them what’s happening. You can’t just keep avoiding your own home because of what your dad did to you.”

“I-I can’t yet. I will deal with this soon. I promise. But not yet. I’m not ready.”

“I’m seriously worried about you! You can’t just keep wandering the streets and eating scraps, man!”

“I won’t! I-I promise. Just … Just give me two more days to think this over. Then I’ll do something about it.”

Nino put his hand on his friend’s shoulder and Adrien went in for a hug.

What’s going on? What happened that’s keeping Adrien from going home?

When she poked her head out again to take another look, Nino and Adrien were walking away.

She took her phone out and started typing a couple of messages to Nino:

M: I saw you with Adrien and overheard some of your conversation. I don’t know the whole story and I know it’s none of my business, but please tell him that he can stop by the bakery any time.

M: I’ll message my parents rn and ask them to set some food aside for him. He can just walk in and take it. No questions asked. I know it isn’t my place to get involved, but whatever is happening, I don’t want him to go hungry. Lemme if there’s anything else I can do to help.

She bit her lip hard and waited for a response.

Luckily, it came only moments later.

N: Thanks, Marinette! I’ll let him know. And thanks for not asking any questions. He’s barely even told me what’s going on.

M: No problem!

N: He wants to know if you saw his face? He’s acting pretty weird about it.

M: No, I didn’t. Why?

N: Idk. He was just asking.

M: Okay…

Marinette put her phone away and left the bushes to make her way home.

Marinette was sick the next day, running a fever that didn’t break for hours.

Tikki looked after her as best as she could, encouraging her to eat and hydrate herself, but Marinette hardly felt like complying.

Her parents came in to check on her from time to time too, bringing her soup and pastries.

“That friend of yours stopped by,” her mother said. “We fed him just like you asked, but is he alright? He looked incredibly tired. A little dirty too.”

“Adrien?”

“Yes. Poor thing looked ready to devour the muffins and cheese croissants whole. He could hardly look us in the eye, but he thanked us at least ten times and insisted he would pay us back.”

Marinette smiled, relieved to know that he had at least eaten something. “That’s nice of him. Thank you for feeding him.”

“No problem,” her mother said, leaning over and placing a damp cloth on her daughter’s forehead. “But you didn’t answer my question. Is he in some sort of trouble?”

Marinette bit her lip. “He might be, but I don’t know much about it. And I promised I wouldn’t ask any questions so long as he came in and ate something.”

Sabine frowned. “If he needs anything, and I mean anything, tell him to stop by again please.”

Her daughter nodded dutifully.

Marinette spent the next few hours watching Disney movies on her cellphone and getting updates about what was happening in school from Alya. When she wasn’t trying to entertain herself, she was quickly falling into feverish nightmares.

They were far worse than anything she had ever experienced.

Late that afternoon, a tapping noise at the balcony hatch pulled her out of one of those many nightmares. The hatch squeaked open and strong arms wrapped around her. The weight of a body pressed on top of her.

She opened her eyes to see Chat Noir’s green eyes baring into hers.

“Is this another dream?” she whispered, still in a sleepy haze.

He smiled and pressed his forehead against hers. “No, princess. I’m really here. I’m sorry I’ve kept you waiting.”

“It’s been four days. I’ve been so worried.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

He went in to kiss her, but met her fingers instead.

“I’m sick,” she softly explained. “I’ve been running a fever all day.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

“A friend told me.”

“Oh.” She reached up and touched his cheek, careful to avoid the still very present welt along his face. It was now scabbed over and would surely scar. “I guess I’ll know who you are if I see you in person now.”

He smirked, but his eyes seemed sad and he rolled off of her, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

“Chat?” she whispered, sitting up as well.

“I-I’ve been gone because I discovered something … something unforgivable that my father has done. I needed some time to figure out what to do next, so I’ve been keeping my distance from him. And you. But I think, regardless of how I feel, regardless of what might happen next, he needs to pay.”

She tilted her head. She had never seen him so angry before.

“Chat, what did he do?”

“He’s … He’s Hawk Moth, Marinette. I saw him transform into him just before the last akuma attack.”

Marinette was stunned into silence.

“He’s the only family I have left, but … but he hasn’t acted like my father in a very long time. I-I need to tell someone who he is. I need him to be brought to justice.”

She bit her lip and reached over, taking his clawed hand in hers.

“Chat … who is your father?”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he released his transformation.

Chapter Text

Marinette handled the news with all the dignity and grace she handled most Adrien-related news.

Which is to say, of course, that she handled it with no dignity or grace whatsoever.

If it weren’t for the fact that she might wake up her parents, Adrien was sure she would have freaked out far worse than she actually did.

It started with rambling. One phrase stringing into another without any rhyme or reason. Then there was the flailing, nearly falling off her bed, and getting up to start pacing. She was a furry of excitement, shock, and confusion.

“Marinette–”

“I just – I can’t …” She grabbed her face, which was burning red with a blush on top of her fever. “Oh my god, I’ve been kissing you this whole time.”

He nodded and gave her a shy smile. “Yeah, you have.”

“Hate to break this up, but you wouldn’t happen to have any cheese, would you?”

Marinette’s attention finally drew to Plagg and her eyes bulged. “Another kwami!”

“The name’s Plagg.”

“You’re adorable!”

“No, he isn’t,” Adrien said at the same time Tikki did.

Tikki, who had emerged from her resting place by the desk, flew up to them and crossed her arms.

“T-Tikki …” Marinette stammered.

“Don’t worry. I’m not mad,” her kwami reassured. “With Chat being hurt in a way that would have made you recognize him in a civilian form, it was only a matter of time before something like this happened. Now, what was it I heard about Hawk Moth?”

Adrien sighed. “Right. About that…”

“Gabriel! I-I looked up to him,” Marinette said, pacing again. “I can’t believe he would do something like this. How did you find out? Are you sure it’s him?”

“I saw him transform right in front of me,” he answered, burying his face in his hands. “This whole time, he’s been the person we’ve been fighting. I-I don’t know how it got to this point, but … it’s him.”

Marinette sat down again and took his hand in hers. “Adrien, I’m so sorry.”

“Me too. He’s hurt so many people and fed on so many of their weaknesses. He’s hurt me and you. He … he doesn’t care who he hurts.” He sighed deeply. “A part of me really doesn’t think I’m strong enough to go against him, Marinette.”

“I’m sure it’s challenging to think about going up against your father, but –”

“No, no. It’s … it’s more than just who he is. Being Chat Noir is one of the few things that’s kept me from letting my suicidal thoughts take over. Before this, I had nothing. I had no friends. I was completely isolated. The only thing that helped me change that was becoming a hero. It’s so unbelievably selfish, but I’m scared of what will happen next. If I defeat him, what is going to happen to me? He’s all I have left.”

“He is not all you have left. You have me. Nino. Nathalie. We all love you and no matter what happens, we’re going to get out of it somehow. Okay?”

Adrien raised his eyebrows, realizing what had just happened. “Wait. You love me?”

She blushed. “I-I didn’t mean to say it, but … but I do.”

His mouth dropped slightly in surprise, but he quickly pulled her into his arms. “I love you too!”

“Gross,” Plagg snorted.

Tikki grabbed him by the ear. “C’mon. Let’s give them some alone time.”

Marinette and Adrien went back and forth for another hour about what their next course of action should be. Tikki – and even Plagg – chimed in with suggestions, but they were all still very fragmented with their different options.

Finally, they agreed on their next step. They would wait until Marinette wasn’t sick before they could take any action. They would risk too much if they attempted a surprise attack while they weren’t at their strongest.

In the meantime, the plan was to hide Adrien in her room. Marinette snuck him down to the bathroom to shower and asked him to toss his clothes outside for her to wash with one of her loads.

When she picked them up off the floor and made her way down the hall, she couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed.

Adrien is naked in my bathroom.

Adrien is Chat Noir and he’s naked in my bathroom.

She stared down at the clothes and tossed them into the washer, trying not to freak out. Again.

After sneaking into her parents room, she went back to the bathroom, cracking the door open and tossing one of her father’s shirts and some pajama bottom shorts for Adrien to wear when he got out. They would be hilariously large on him, but it was the best she could do.

As she waited for him to finish up, she tip-toed down to the kitchen and made him two sandwiches with a side of cookies and cheese for Tikki and Plagg.

“Marinette?”

She nearly jumped out of her skin and spun around to face her mother.

Mme Dupain-Cheng rubbed her eyes and murmured, “I thought you were in the shower because the water was running, but … what are you doing here?”

“I-I was going to shower, but … I got really hungry! Yeah! So … I’m making food.”

“So you left the water running?”

“I-I … Yes. Sorry. I just wanted the water to be heated up while I waited!”

“You’re … going to eat in the shower?”

“I … I think so. Yeah. Why not? Uh … I’ll just go straight up now so I don’t waste any more water!” Marinette grabbed the plate and ran for it.

Mme Dupain-Cheng shook her head at how strange her daughter was behaving, but she was honestly just glad to see her out of bed.

Marinette ran into the bathroom with a hand over her eyes and put the food down next to the sink.

“Adrien?” she softly called, keeping her eyes covered and sitting down on the toilet seat. “I-I almost got caught. I need to stay in here so my mom doesn’t suspect anything.”

He poked his head out from the shower curtain and smiled, seeing how her hands tightly over her eyes. “I’m just about done anyway. It’s nice to finally be clean after four days. Thank you for this.”

“Of course. You’re welcome. I-I got some clean clothes out for you too. They’ll be big on you, but it’s at least something for you to wear while you sleep.”

The water stopped and she heard Adrien grabbing one of the nearby towels.

Oh my god! I’m in the same room as naked Adrien!

Her face heated up and she felt it spreading all the way to her chest too.

After drying himself off, Adrien went to the clean clothes and dressed himself. It was true that they were enormous, but he felt much more comfortable than he had been.

He went to Marinette and took her hand away from her eyes, kissing her knuckles gently and grinning at her burning cheeks.

“Let’s get going, princess.”

The two snuck back upstairs and Adrien devoured the sandwiches over the course of just a few minutes. Marinette didn’t mention it, but after seeing Plagg eat his cheese in a similar fashion, she thought they suited each other.

“Are you afraid of what’s going to happen?” Marinette asked, reaching over and caressing Adrien’s hair, still amazed that he was sitting across from her on the bed.

“Maybe. I’m not sure, but I think it’s a good thing that I’ve at least got you by my side.”

She smiled and started massaging the back of his neck. He purred gratefully scooted closer to her, holding her tightly against him.

“We’ll get through this, Adrien,” she whispered in his ear. “I promise.”

Chapter Text

They spent the next day with Marinette going in and out of sleep. She was able to rest better with Adrien reassuring her each time she awoke. Her fever broke before long and he was relieved to see her get up more and even gain an appetite back.

A few times, one or both of her parents came up to check on her and Adrien panicked to hide somewhere, but they were lucky enough to keep their secret up.

By the end of the afternoon, Marinette felt as though she were ready, much to Adrien’s reluctance.

“Are you sure?” he kept asking.

“Don’t worry, silly kitty. I feel better. I promise.” She sighed. “There is something we should discuss before this all goes down though.”

“What is it?”

“My powers … my mental illness has really started to affect them. Not only that, but I’m not strong enough. Tikki said most people get trained to be the next Ladybug, but I never did. I was just thrown into battle. She said that’s why my miraculous doesn’t always fix everything. If I ever want to get stronger as Ladybug, I need to train more and work on my mental illness.”

“Then … what are we doing here? Don’t you think this is too dangerous? It’s one thing to go after an akuma, but Hawk Moth—”

“Will continue to harm people if we don’t stop him. Adrien, I know I can do this. I might have doubts from time to time, but right now, I know I can. I couldn’t live with myself if I let him harm someone else. Unless … unless you’re not ready.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready enough for this, bugaboo, but I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

She gave him a hug and kissed his cheek.

“Alright. Then let’s do this.”

Chat Noir was lost in thought as he and Ladybug watched the church from across an alleyway.

His mind wandered to what would come after this. If they defeated Hawk Moth – if he ended up fatherless – he wasn’t sure he would be mentally able to handle that.

I’m afraid, he realized. I don’t know who I’ll be at the end of this. What’s Adrien without his controlling father or Chat Noir without a villain to fight against?

“Hey. Is everything alright?” Ladybug’s gloved fingers traced up his backside.

He instantly felt calmer and leaned back into her touch.

Chat Noir gave her a smile and said, “I’m clawesome, my lady.”

She gave him a playful shove and kept soothingly rubbing his back.

At least I’ve still got her. Whoever I’ll be, at last she’ll be around to help me through it.

“Here he comes.”

He looked down and saw the car Ladybug was gesturing to – the same black car he had seen before.

Gabriel Agreste stepped out with unusually disheveled hair and a dirty button down shirt. He carried a brief case with him and made his way to the side door. They watched as he disappeared into the building.

Chat Noir stood and readied his staff, but there was the sudden sound of an explosion followed by the wailing of car alarms and people’s panicked screams.

Ladybug jumped to her feet too, pigtails flowing in the breeze as it began to carry ashes along with it.

The two looked ahead at the fire and embers emerging from the streets of Paris.

“How did this happen? He’s only been in there for a minute!” Chat said.

Ladybug’s hands were trembling at her sides and he noticed it right away, taking one of her hands in his and giving it a gentle squeeze. Her blue eyes met his and he knew she might be on the brink of an anxiety attack, but she took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders back, and steadied herself instead.

“This … this could be good. Controlling an akuma will keep him distracted. He’ll be spreading himself thin. I-I can battle the akuma while you deal with him. With any luck, Hawk Moth’s distraction will make the akuma weaker. I could even be done with enough time to come back and help you defeat him.”

He didn’t like that idea. There was a sinking feeling in his gut that something would go wrong, but he didn’t know what else they could do.

“Are … Are you sure about this?” he asked. “We could always deal with the akuma first and come back.”

“No, he might be gone by then. This needs to end. Tonight.” She reached up, gently touching his left cheek, just past where his wound was healing into a prominent scar. “I don’t want to ever see him hurt you again. Or anyone else for that matter.”

He pulled her into a fierce hug, the side of her face pressing into his chest. Her hands slipped around his waist and she could hear his heartbeat.

She closed her eyes, knowing how dangerous this was. Knowing that this could be the last time she would ever hear it.

They both held onto each other tightly.

They felt safe. Sheltered. Warm. And they wanted it to last forever.

Another explosion sent them pulling apart and they looked out from the smoke in the distance and back to each other.

“Let’s not waste any more time,” Ladybug said, readying her yo-yo. “Please stay safe.”

“You do the same. I love you,” Chat replied, trying to ignore the nagging – lying – feeling that it might be the last time they would speak.

Something told him she felt the same way because his lady nodded and cleared her throat.

“I-I love you too, Chaton. I’ll see you soon.”

She slung her yo-yo out and left.

Chat turned away and prepared himself to face his father as he dropped down to the alley below.

It wasn’t until he was inside the building that his fear really began to overwhelm him. He went up the staircase and a slight purr went through him, encouraging him to calm down.

He realized how serious this was. Purring was always filled with enjoyment for him, but cats could also purr when they were at their worst as well.

He had never before been filled with so much dread that he purred.

Stop being afraid, he told himself as he approached the door. You can’t afford to be afraid right now.

The door was cracked open again.

His hand lingered at it and he took a deep breath.

I can do this. He isn’t my father right now. He’s Hawk Moth and he needs to be stopped.

Chat Noir locked his jaw and silently let himself into the room.

Hawk Moth stood with his back to him, looking out the window and clutching his cane.

“Take her miraculous! Now!”

Chat leaned back against the doorway, crossing his arms over his chest and one of his ankles over the other.

“That’s quite the fall look.” He paused, allowing Hawk Moth to react by spinning around and revealing a surprised expression on his face. “Of course, if you ask me, I think you’d look even better behind bars, Monsieur Gabriel Agreste.”

Hawk Moth’s expression was hard to read, but he gave him a calculating stare before standing straight and saying, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Chat started walking towards him, butterflies parting to clear a path as he whipped out his staff. “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about, Monsieur Agreste. I know who you are under there. I know your weaknesses now and you have nowhere to hide.”

“It doesn’t matter who you think I am.” Hawk Moth raised his cane. “When I’m done with you, you’ll wish you had never found me.”

Chat bent his knees and charged at him.

He always knew Gabriel fenced in the past, but he had no idea that he was still very good at it. The two went head to head, clashing their weapons against each other repeatedly. Each time they went to strike, they were met with either a dodge or the other’s weapon blocking the way.

Chat kept light on his feet, repeatedly avoiding blows faster than Hawk Moth could issue them out. Chat leapt backwards, skidding to a stop in a crouched pose and then charging at him once more.

The butterflies got in the way, hindering his sight and making it easier for Hawk Moth to kick his feet out from under him with his staff.

Chat was on his back when he saw Hawk Moth press a button along the side of the cane, revealing a small knife at the end of it.

His green eyes widened and he rolled away before the knife could be thrust into his chest.

Then he flipped up onto his feet and landed a hit on Hawk Moth’s backside while the villain was busy pulling his cane back out of the floorboards.

“No! Get her miraculous! Don’t let her get out!” he growled through the pink outline of a butterfly across his face as he finally freed his cane.

My lady is winning.

The reassurance strengthened Chat as he fought on, expertly landing hits wherever he could all while avoiding the knife that continued nearly striking him.

Of course, his luck ran out eventually.

The blade went for him once more and successfully sliced the side of his arm. Beads of blood splattered on the ground and soon his whole arm was dripping red down his black sleeve to his fingertips.

Fueled by anger and adrenaline, Chat turned the end of his staff towards Hawk Moth and extended it. The end impacted Hawk Moth’s stomach and sent him flying across the room, slamming his body against the wall.

“I had a gut feeling I’d be winning this battle,” Chat joked as he walked forward.

And an idea made its way into his mind.

Hawk Moth tried to stand and collect his cane, which had fallen and rolled away from him.

“I wouldn’t keep trying to fight me though,” Chat said, using his staff to knock the cane farther away. “I’m the only one who knows where your son has gone. Or are you still refusing to admit who you really are?”

Hawk Moth looked at him and, for a moment, there was some trace of emotion there. But he didn’t say anything. Neither refusing or admitting his relationship to Adrien, he just stared, indecisiveness clear across his face.

And Chat Noir scoffed, “You really are the most cold-hearted person I’ve ever met. How can you keep trying to cause all this harm even with the knowledge that giving up and turning yourself in would save your own son?”

“What have you done to him?!”

Finally. A response. And a loud one at that.

But it was too late for that. Chat Noir was through waiting for his father to care. To not be ignored by him while also waiting to be free from him.

He ran over then, jumping into the air and landing his foot down on Hawk Moth’s throat. Chat pressed down further, feeling him struggle under him.

And a part of him – a sick part he didn’t even know he had – loved the power of it.

“I’ve done nothing worse to him than you have, you controlling, destructive, egomaniac! Didn’t you think I was lonely after mom was gone? Didn’t you think I needed you there? And did you really think I would put up with it forever? The neglect? The emotional abuse? Did you really think I would come back to you after you hit me? After you had akuma after akuma try to hurt me and Ladybug? What’s wrong with you? How could you do this to me? You were supposed to be my father!”

Tears fell down over his face and he stepped back, lifting his foot off Hawk Moth’s neck.

The man sputtered, rolling over onto his side and coughing violently.

“A-Adrien…”

“Yes, it’s me. But that doesn’t even matter. I could have been anyone else’s kid and you would have done the same thing to them. You’re a monster. You need to be stopped.”

Hawk Moth rolled over, trying to get up on all fours, but Chat kicked him hard in the gut. Then again. And again.

“I-I did this all for you!” his father screamed.

Chat Noir stopped, breathing heavily and trembling with rage.

“I wanted … I wanted this power to give you everything your heart desired. To try to bring your mother back. To make everything right again. Isn’t that what you would have wanted?”

Hawk Moth looked up, blue eyes staring at him pleadingly.

I can’t fall for it. I can’t keep giving into him. I can’t keep doing this anymore.

“Cataclysm.”

With his free hand, he grabbed his father up by the collar and lifted him, shoving him hard up against a wall.

His other hand, which was still covered in his own blood, hovered over his father’s face hesitantly.

“You don’t have to do this,” Hawk Moth begged. “I’m sorry, Adrien. I’m sorry I hurt you. I did this to give you everything you wanted. With all this power, I could control the entire city. I could have made you their shining star, the way I always saw you.”

Chat Noir sobbed, his chest aching with rage. And anger. And regret.

“All I wanted was a father around and you couldn’t even get that right!”

“Chat! Stop!”

Ladybug’s voice rang through the large room.

He turned and saw her staring at them.

She looked afraid.

And it took a moment, but he finally registered what was happening.

She was afraid for him.

Afraid that he would lose himself forever if he crossed that line.

Afraid that she would never be able to pull him back from this moment.

His hand slipped from his father’s collar and he pulled away, staring at the cataclysm that was waiting there to destroy not only his father, but also himself.

How did it come to this?

He glared up at Hawk Moth as his tears and blood fell to the floor.

He did this all for me and he destroyed me in the process. How could he do this to me?   

Chat Noir gulped hard and whispered, “If you ever cared about me even for a moment, you’ll give us your miraculous. You’re done here. We are done.”

“I didn’t want to lose you. You’re my son.”

“Not anymore. I haven’t been for a very long time. Ladybug, toss me his cane.”

Ladybug walked closer, using her yo-yo to grab the cane and whip it to her partner.

Chat caught it with his cataclysm hand and destroyed it. Then he reached out, forcibly removing the butterfly broach from his father’s neck.

And Hawk Moth transformed back, revealing Gabriel Agreste once more.

Chapter Text

Six Months Later

Ladybug found Chat Noir on the Notre Dame rooftop, looking out at the afternoon Paris skyline with a peaceful expression on his face. It was so nice to see him that way and she was glad today had been relatively easy on him.

She gracefully walked over, setting down the basket she brought and sitting beside him.

“I got some cheeseburgers and fries from that restaurant you like so much. And Maman packed some beignets. She’s still worried you’re not eating enough.”

Chat Noir grinned gratefully. Although Nathalie was his temporary legal guardian after his father was incarcerated, Marinette’s parents had all but adopted him and he loved spending time at their house. It was always such a warm feeling to see them and know that they cared for him as much as they did Marinette. It was also nice to eat whatever he wanted there without anyone criticizing him to watch his weight.

Ladybug started pulling the food out and handed him the containers with his meal, including a mason jar with juice in it. She did consider bringing soda instead, but knew it would only get shaken up on the trip.

Chat licked his lips eagerly as he scooped the cheeseburger up in both hands.

The two ate in relative silence for a moment, only making a few small sounds when they were really enjoying their meal.

“Are you ready for tonight?” Ladybug asked before taking a small sip of her mason jar.

“I think so. Nathalie decorated the house really well and Nino is really excited. He keeps telling me he’s made an awesome playlist and that he’s so excited to have me listen to it during the party.”

She grinned at him. “He’s such a good friend to you.”

He nodded in agreement.

Both Nino and Alya had become closer with the two of them. With the craziness of the last six months, they became two of the only five people they trusted with their secret identities; Marinette’s parents and Master Fu were the others.

With Hawk Moth gone, it just seemed like the right moment to share their secrets and invite their loved ones into knowing more about what actually happened to them.

Ever since their final battle with Hawk Moth, their mental health had gone through a roller coaster. Some days, they were fine. Others, they weren’t.

But now Marinette’s parents knew what caused her moodiness and Adrien just had the convenient excuse of being traumatized by knowing his own father did all those terrible things to people.

In any case, when they went to Master Fu to return butterfly broach, he was very happy to introduce them to a trusted psychologist friend of his.

The medicine prescribed to them didn’t always work. They were hit and miss. Trial and error. But at least they were better able to seek help.

For the first month, they just did their best to stay out of the public eye. Cameras followed Adrien everywhere and he eventually had to take some time off from school just to avoid them. He even took the extra step of having Plagg adjust part of his mask so that it came down lower – a triangle that jutted vertically and covered his scar. Adrien might have been disfigured, but at least the press would hopefully be too stupid to ever make that connection to Chat Noir.

Oddly enough, even after the police stormed the church and arrested Gabriel, his father never revealed who Chat Noir was under the mask.

It was one small miracle. The final thing he would ever be grateful to his father for.

His belly now full, Chat Noir laid back on the rooftop and stared up at the sky.

I wish I could see the stars.

His mind wandered, fantasizing about taking his lady to the countryside someday. Or even abroad. There were so many things he could do that he’d never thought he’d do before.

He didn’t need Nathalie to manage anything for him unless he asked her and his father’s company, although suffering a severe loss in sales after his arrest, was doing well now that Adrien took it over and was working on rebranding it. He wasn’t entirely sure that being in the fashion industry was what he wanted to do with his life, but it was at least providing him with the means to keep himself clothed and fed. That was really all that mattered to him at the moment.

His father crept into his mind.

He remembered expression Gabriel made when the police were escorting him out of the church.

The way he kept saying that he did this for him.

It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault.

“What’s going on?”

Ladybug had put the food away and was now sprawled out beside him, her hand reaching out to his hair and pushing it away from his face.

“I’m … I’m just getting in my own head again. Sorry.”

“You know you don’t need to apologize, chaton.”

“I know.”

She continued tracing her fingers through his hair as she asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

He thought about it a moment and then nodded. “I’ve … I’ve talked to our psychologist about it – and I know this is irrational – but I can’t seem to stop blaming myself for everything my father did. He really thought he was doing it for me. If my mother wasn’t gone or if I had just done things differently … Like I said, I know it’s irrational, but I still blame myself sometimes.”

“I don’t think it’s irrational.”

“You don’t?”

“One of the last things he said to you was how you were his reason behind it all. He planted that idea in your head and of course it’s going to resurface. I think it’s good that you’re recognizing it as false though.” She rolled to her side and reached out, taking his face in both her hands. “Whatever his reason, it doesn’t excuse his actions and it certainly does not put you at fault. Do you understand that?”

“I do,” he said with a nod.

She was right. And it was so great to be able to come to her when those intrusive thoughts entered his mind.

“What about you? Have you been doing okay?”

Ladybug bit her lip and lowered her hands away, rolling onto her back once more.

Their final battle had been nearly as traumatic for her. The akuma that night had been granted with the power to make explosions and they would always set off whenever she least expected them. It was honestly a miracle she survived with all her limbs intact.

“I don’t know,” she finally answered. “The pills are helping me sleep better through the night, but I keep having those episodes in the middle of the day. You know, where I kind of get lost? I don’t know what happens, but my mind just wanders. I keep seeing all the terrible things that happened. I keep feeling the same panic I felt. And all the images and emotions just keep repeating themselves over and over again until my thoughts unravel and then there’s just … there’s all that fear. I get lost in that the most.”

Chat moved closer and wrapped his arms around her protectively.

“I’m so glad I have you,” she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks now. “You, and Alya, and my parents. I-I’m glad I’m not going through this alone anymore and even though it’s bad sometimes, it’s still … it’s better than I was before. I know there’s still going to be bad days ahead, but there’s so many more good ones to look forward to now that we’re working through our issues. We’ll be more or less okay. Right?”

Chat squeezed her and kissed her head. “You’re right. We’re going to be okay.”

Ladybug whipped her tears away and laughed. “I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to get emotional today.”

“Neither did I. It’s alright. It happens. Better for us to talk about it than not at all, right?”

“Right.”

They grinned at each other and kissed each other gently.

For a few moments, they stayed that way. There was nothing to interrupt them. No akumas. No press dying to have a word.

It was just the two of them. As it was always meant to be.

Ladybug shifted to stand and bopped Chat Noir's nose with her finger. “Don’t forget. We have a party to get to. Let’s go, birthday boy.”

“Aw, c’mon. A few more minutes? Maybe another kiss at least?”

She picked up the basket and a stray packet of ketchup they had forgotten.

“You’ll have to ketchup with me first!” she said, a wide grin spreading across her face.

“Wait. What did you just say? Did you just make a pun?!”

Ladybug ran off the rooftop, yo-yo whipping through the air, and Chat didn’t hesitate to go chasing after her.

And their laughter echoed throughout the night.