Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Liz gasped violently before choking on her own blood. She could feel straps around her wrists, ankles and chest, causing her to struggle vigorously. She wasn't aware of her surroundings, only that she needed to escape-escape-escape-runNOW!

Something exploded as she tore free her left hand from the examination table before working on the rest. Her ears were ringing and she was getting singed by the flames. She could smell blood, burning flesh and something she didn't want to name even as she heard screams from somewhere. It took her longer than she'd like to admit to realize she was the one screaming.

She made it out of the lab somehow, still disoriented and nauseous and didn't stop running until her feet bled and she collapsed on the ground, heaving and retching, tears streaming down her cheeks. Liz was scared, confused and hurt all over. She had no idea where she was or how she'd gotten there, but from the brief flashes she could recall painted a dark picture.

This was not her body.

This was not her body and the one it had belonged to had been tortured and experimented on for an unknown amount of time. From What Liz could gather at the moment, the woman had been a mother. A loving mother whose last thoughts were compelling Liz to move.

I want to see my son.

Liz had never been pregnant. Had never been in a relationship. Hell, her real age did not match the age of this body. She was 20, as opposed to this body's 27+ years. She couldn't make sense of a lot of the jumbled memories she had acquired along with this replacement but she knew one thing. She couldn't ignore the child this woman had left behind.

She wasn't sure how long she'd sat on the forest floor, but eventually she was able to stand up on shaky, atrophied legs and walk forward. The trees looked familiar, but Liz paid them no mind as she walked in the direction she could hear running water. Once she came upon a river, she fell down to her knees, cupped her hands and washed her face before drinking from the stream. Once she'd washed the taste of vomit and blood from her mouth she caught sight of her reflection, causing her to stop and stare.

Her hair was not the curly auburn she'd grown up with, but long, straight black which looked frayed due to her previous situation. It was also greasy and gross and Liz was sure there was blood in it too. He skin was deathly pale and a flash of memory told her it shouldn't be this pale. But what stood out to her were the purple marks on her eyelids like eye-shadow and her silver eyes. She knew these marks. She'd seen them often enough.

“Orochi... maru?” she asked with a voice that was raspy from screaming which didn't sound familiar at all.

But no. She wasn't Orochimaru. From the sudden onslaught of memories, she was Orochimaru's mother.

This... could be either bad or good, depending on when she was. If Orochimaru was young enough, she could keep him on the right path. Surely getting his mother back would shock him enough for her to mould him? Besides, with the way she looked and having obviously been a victim of horrible experiments, her son (oh god, Orochimaru was her son) would think twice before conducting the same experiments he had in canon.

Liz had always liked Orochimaru and had been of the opinion that without Danzo's influence he would've been much less of a villain. Besides, she found it too convenient that practically every Hokage-candidate had somehow been eliminated and she was also 99% sure Danzo had something to do with Hatake Sakumo's suicide. Of course, nothing could be proved and this was all speculation, but Danzo was a despicable excuse of a human being and needed to die.

Liz swallowed and closed her eyes, for the first time actually fishing for the scattered memories in her brain. She needed information. She needed a history. But most importantly, she needed a name.

Flashes of a childhood, a wedding and a pregnancy flashed through her mind, yet names escaped her. But she definitely recognized the child her host had last seen when he was barely six years old. It was definitely Orochimaru. It was strange remembering him calling her “Kaa-san.” but it also warmed her heart. Liz had never had the opportunity to be a mother, though she'd very much wanted to. As she delved deeper, thought harder, and gained a throbbing headache, a name started to form.

“Mi-chan.”

“Kiyo-chan.”

“Kiyomi-kun.”

Kiyomi. That was the name of the woman whose body she now inhabited. The name of Orochimaru's mother. The name of the woman she would have to become.

Well, more or less. She could easily claim her scattered memories and amnesia were due to the unspecified amount of time in that hellhole. Which, by the looks of the smoke rising from the direction she'd ran from, she'd blown up. Pretty impressive for a hysteric woman, if she said so herself.

Ultimately, the bodily misplaced woman started laughing hysterically, crying as she did so. She hugged herself as she leaned forward, her forehead touching the river even as her body shook with laughter and sobs. She was screwed, yet she was happy. Her emotions were all over the place, the entities of Kiyomi and Liz mingling, merging, separating and repeating. Soon, she righted herself, only to pass out, landing on her back, tear tracks drying on her face as her exhausted body and mind demanded rest.

She woke up covered in dew. This also had the effect on making her feel like she was freezing. Liz had always been much like a cat. She hated being wet. However, clad in only a torn hospital gown like garment there wasn't much she could do about the fact. In fact, she decided to ignore it and instead dip her head in the river in order to at least rinse out her hair. It wasn't ideal, but it would be better than nothing. She didn't even want to know what she had in there.

As she wrung the heavy, foreign black hair she pondered more on her situation. Kiyomi couldn't have been in the lab for much longer than ten years, from what she could gather. The disjointed memories were filled with pain and the date October 27. Orochimaru's birthday. Kiyomi had held onto that date and the thought of her son, which was the only reason she'd held on for so long. Now, however, the woman was for all intents and purposes dead and Liz had taken her place. Liz, who'd read the entire Naruto series up until Boruto. She had quickly dropped that trainwreck and pretended it never happened. But the fact still stood. She was now basically a time-traveler and depending on how long Kiyomi's body had been in the lab, she could change a lot of things. Hopefully... hopefully Orochimaru wouldn't be too old. Kiyomi's last driving force had integrated into the very being of this body she now inhabited.

I want to see my son.

Liz- no. Kiyomi would return to Konohagakure. To Orochimaru. Her son. And she'd make damn sure that this time things went differently.

Chapter Text

Kiyomi didn't have an internal clock, but by the looks of the position of the sun, she'd been walking for a few hours already, which was quite good when taking into account her atrophied state. Of course, the only reason she could stand was because she was channeling chakra into her legs. She would need to rest soon, but she was determined to get a decent mileage before taking a break.

The rustling of the leaves were a constant reminder that she was outside and free and kept the memories of the lab at bay. But the sounds of the forest weren't enough to fill the silence. Which prompted Kiyomi to sing. She sang in a low tone that wouldn't reach far, but was loud enough to keep her grounded.

Funny. She used to like the silence. Now she dreaded it.

As she sung, she knew she'd never be able to be an active-duty shinobi again. She didn't mind, not really, her mind was too much geared by the civilian personality of Liz than the Konoha Shinobi Kiyomi. She was sure she'd be able to fight, but she knew her current PTSD and other issues (namely, her identity crisis) had pretty much disabled her in Shinobi terms. She just hoped she wasn't too broken for Orochimaru. From what she could recall, Orochimaru had been a momma's boy. It was not something she'd imagined to be true for the Snake Sannin (but he wasn't the Snake Sannin yet, was he?) but she wasn't going to complain. With any luck, she would be a catalyst, rearranging Orochimaru's priorities and morals to something resembling humane and thus keeping him out of Danzo's reach and firmly in Hiruzen's.

And if she couldn't make him loyal to Konoha, she'd make him loyal to her. Then she would be able to keep him in Konoha and out of mischief. Well, evil mischief. She didn't much care for anything else. Kiyomi's love for Orochimaru was a big part of who the woman had been and Liz had liked the pale bastard a lot, especially when Sasuke had revived him. These two aspects had merged, creating a very deep affection and acceptance of the boy and any life choices that weren't inherently evil. She did have morals, after all.

The silver-eyed woman stepped over a root and felt something scaly brush against it. Glancing down she only just saw the tail of a snake vanish into the underbrush as it fled from her. It was funny, Liz had been deadly afraid of snakes, but Kiyomi liked them. Now, she was only afraid of cockroaches and rats. Not that she'd know that until later.

(The cells had been crawling with rats and cockroaches. Kiyomi hadn't been able to sleep as she'd had to fend off the rodents when they tried to eat her. She learned quickly how to snap their furry little necks. Years and years of doing it was torture in itself and more than once the Kunoichi had cried even in her dehydrated state.

I want to see my son.)

Sasuke... Kiyomi wondered what the future would look like, now that she was here to meddle. Personally, she didn't like the Uchiha Clan. In fact, the only clan she disliked more were the Hyuuga. Their system with the Caged Bird Seal was evil. She wouldn't much care if the Massacre still happened, so long as Itachi and Sasuke would remain untouched. Shisui... Kiyomi hoped he wouldn't die. Itachi would be traumatized enough without gaining the Mangekyo because of the coup.

She wondered if she could save Sakumo... there were so many people she wanted to live... Sakumo, Minato... perhaps Might Dai, if she was lucky. If she saved Sakumo, the butterfly effect might save Obito, which would mean no Kyuubi attack. Naruto would still need to be the Jinchuuriki, if Kurama was to become free of hate. Kiyomi didn't want things to change, but something had to go. There were many things that would never happen and might never happen. She didn't want Kurama to suffer in his hatred. She didn't want Gaara to grow up hated, but she had no idea what to do about that.

Kiyomi healed her feet for the third time, absently making her way through the second verse of A Thousand Years, rather happy that her host had learned the basics of Healing Jutsu, otherwise she'd have infection to worry about. Of course, she'd only used it on her feet, her other wounds could wait and didn't hinder movement. The only good the hospital gown was for was makeshift bandages, the material absorbed blood well enough.

As she finished she started another song on autopilot, rather proud she knew so many songs by heart. She was like a walking Mp3-player.

“...How many times can we win and lose? How many times can we break the rules between us? Only teardrops...”

At this point a sound made her pause in her steps and shut up. She tilted hear head, trying to make out not only what the sound was, but where it was coming from. The current ravenette turned her head towards the now recognizable sound of steel clashing. Someone was fighting. She stood there for a moment, before deciding to take the plunge and took to the trees, making her way towards the fight. If she was lucky, they would be Konoha Shinobi, which would mean an actual direction to go in, since she was just walking until she spotted something familiar.

She wasn't all that far from the battle when one word, screamed in a voice full of panic, cut through the air and made her freeze.

“Orochimaru!”

Kiyomi stood still, mid-lean to jump onto another branch, before something inside her snapped. Later, she'd realize it was part of what the people at the lab had been trying to accomplish. Later, after the bloodthirst had disappeared along with the red haze she'd wonder if the scientists had even known what they were meddling with. But this would all be later. Now, at the moment, Kiyomi just knew that someone was hurting her son. And she'd be damned if she let her son be taken from her. Not now, when she was so close.

With a feral snarl, the enraged woman leapt towards the sound, ready to tear out someone's throat and sporting nails sharp enough to do it with her bare hands, only one thought running through her mind.

Not my child, you bastards!

Chapter Text

If they hadn't gone to investigate, they wouldn't be in this mess.

This was the thought process of one Orochimaru, age 15, Chuunin of Konohagakure no Sato as he ducked under an arm wielding a kunai. He flashed through six hand-seals before inhaling and exhaling five small but potent fireballs.

“Katon: Housenka no Jutsu!”

The snake summoner tsked as he only hit two out of three Nukenin even as Jiraya clashed with another and he himself brought his katana up in front of him to block another kunai.

They'd been on their way back when they'd spotted a strange plume of smoke coming from a way away from their trail, East from Konoha.

“What's over there?” was Jiraiya's question, accompanied by a frown, as if trying to recall anything in that direction.

“Nothing.” Orochimaru had promptly answered, thoughtful look on his face “At least, there isn't supposed to be anything there.”

His teammates had exchanged glances before the idiot had proclaimed “Let's go investigate!” and took off.

Tsunade and Orochimaru had no choice but to follow, though they too wanted to know what had happened, even if they'd never admit it.

They had been tired from their mission and had already used up around half of their chakra, with Orochimaru being the most well off in that area. They were in no condition to fight a bunch of Missing-nin.

Orochimaru was brought out of his musings as he was hit in the shoulder, causing him to spin and land on the ground with a huff, his breath knocked out of him. His vision was already blurring and he was seeing double, but what he could see was Tsunade kneeling by Jiraiya's downed form, hands aglow with green chakra.

“Move!”

It was Tsunade who'd called out, but the androgynous ninja could only barely roll away from the barrage of shuriken, some of them cutting of parts of his hair and pinning his clothes. Looking up, he could barely see the glint of a blade as it descended towards him.

“Orochimaru!”

Jiraiya's scream (for it was a scream,no matter how much the idiot would later deny it) was accompanied by the sound of branches breaking and a vicious snarl as a green, white and black blur entered the battle. In a bloody swoop, the one trying to pierce Orochimaru's chest found himself with a hand through his own before the body was tossed aside, the figure already moving towards the remaining two Shinobi, bringing their hands up in what Orochimaru surmised were hand-seals.

“Katon: Gokakyuu no Jutsu!”

The air in front of the figure exploded in a blaze of barely controlled chakra-fire and Orochimaru's eyes focused for the first time on the person standing with their back towards the three Chuunin. From what any of them could see, the figure had long, ebony black hair and was wearing nothing but a green hospital gown, which was torn at the hem. The figure's left hand was covered in blood from when they'd thrust it through the chest of one of the Nukenin and when they turned around, Tsunade and Jiraiya couldn't help but flinch and ready themselves for a fight. The woman smiled kindly at them, closing her eyes and tilting her head, causing the duo to relax. This, unfortunately, had the effect of cutting off the adrenaline keeping them awake and causing them to collapse from chakra exhaustion. Orochimaru wasn't so easily put at ease and eyed the oddly familiar woman warily from where he'd painstakingly risen to his feet, his right hand gripping his left shoulder as the woman took slow steps toward him. She spread her arms as her smile gentled further and her eyes turned sad.

“I'm sorry, honey. I missed your graduation.”

Orochimaru inhaled sharply at those words, his eyes widening as a memory resurfaced against his will and played out in his mind's eye.

A raven-haired woman hefted a backpack onto her back and tucked a scroll into her belt, righting the standard green vest and making sure her Hitai-ate was knotted firmly around her head.

“Kaa-san?”

The woman turned around to face Orochimaru, a gentle smile forming on her pale lips “What is it, honey?”

“How long is your mission going to last this time?”

The silver-eyed woman knelt down to put a hand on her son's head as she answered “It might take a while, but I'll be back soon enough, your father should be home earlier me. I think our paths will intercept, so I'll tell him to hurry home, neh?”

Orochimaru smiled up at his mother “Okay. Come back soon.”

The Tokubetsu-Jounin smiled “I'll be back as soon as I can. I'm sure I'll make it to your graduation.”

“Bye!”

.

.

.

His mother didn't make it to his graduation, nor did his father.

They were both declared MIA. Soon after that, his father's corpse had been found along with the teams they'd been part of.

His parents were declared KIA and added to the Memorial Stone.

And Orochimaru, age 6, was left alone in the world to mourn the two people that meant the most to him.

Orochimaru gazed up at the woman. Those words... could she?

They never found mother's body...

He almost didn't dare hope, but a treacherous part of him that had never really let go of the very very very small possibility reared its head once again. It was this small part of his brain that prompted him to speak.

“Kaa... san?”

It was barely a whisper, but the woman had to have heard it, since it caused tears to form in her eyes.

Orochimaru was a Shinobi. He knew how to read people. And right now, at that moment, even in his fatigued state, he was sure all of the emotions she was showing were genuine.

He fell to his knees even as she rushed to support him, his eyes closing as his head made contact with her stomach. Her hands were in his hair and the feeling was all too familiar, never mind it had been a decade since he last felt it. Droplets of warm water landed on top of his head and the Chuunin absently identified them as tears.

He heard her inhale a shaky breath and a choked “Tadaima...” left her lips.

Orochimaru inhaled her scent, not minding that it was tainted by blood and who-knows-what as he answered “Okaeri... “

He didn't think about the possibility of it being a trap. He didn't think about the possibility of it being a Genjutsu. He didn't think about anything like that as his consciousness left him. All he could think about was that for the first time since his parents' names had been carved into the Memorial Stone he felt warm.

Let me stay here for a while...

If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up...

Don't let this be a mirage...

Kiyomi gazed upon the bloody, but relaxed face of her teenage son, half on top of her lap, his back against her thighs. He looked so small... so vulnerable... so lonely...

“Kaa... san?”

She fought the tears threatening to fall. Orochimaru's mother had wanted to see her son, Kiyomi had delivered. Whatever part of the previous woman still lived could rest now. It was time for the woman she had become to step forward.

Orochimaru would be saved. And with him, so many others. This child in her arms had now become hers, the instincts of a mother having imprinted on him and refused to let go. This was her child now. Her son. Hers to love and guide and protect.

Kiyomi tightened her hold.

Mine now.

Everything will be alright.

Mommy's back.

These thoughts ran through her head as she petted Orochimaru's head with an absent smile. Her mind was a mess, she'd admit that. She wondered what kind of person Kiyomi had been prior to the labs. While she might have taken up her name, for infiltration purposes, she wasn't Kiyomi. Not really. But she had to forsake the name Liz if she wanted to save them. And boy did she ever want to save them...

The woman Kiyomi had once been would have been gone either way, if not due to the isolation then due to the torture she'd had to go through. The powerful feelings and thoughts may have been ingrained into this body's very being, but the woman from Konohagakure who'd been married was gone. In her stead was a younger, less traumatized but still very much broken woman who was filling shoes that did not fit her as they had their previous owner. She went by the same name, but she was not the old Kiyomi. Neither was she Liz.

I am who I am, I am who I was and I am who I will always be.

The pieces of two have become a third.

I am Kiyomi.

I am Orochimaru's mother.

I am me.

And no one is going to take that away ever again.

As she thought this, she waited for her son and his team to wake up. She was still weak, she would not be able to move them, even though she had raided the supplies of the Nukenin for anything useful. This meant she had eaten their field rations and drunk their water.

She'd been starved for a while and there was no one to stop her, sue her. It tasted bad but with her body being malnourished as it was she was not going to complain. She'd eat grass if it had enough nutritional value.

Her tastebuds were used to bland and/or plain bad food. She wondered how long it would take to adjust to normal flavours again. She'd probably have to stay away from spicy, salty and sour foods for a while, at least until she could tolerate a mild dose of all of the above.

...She had a long recovery ahead of her, and that was only if she passed whatever interrogation the Sandaime was bound to put her through. The man was a sentimental fool, however, so she might get off easier than most. Perhaps she wouldn't need a very skilled Yamanaka poking around. Not that they'd have an easy time, her mind was a mess, she could tell. She could probably use those mind reader tricks people kept theorizing about, namely thinking of a specific thing. She'd just have to focus on Kiyomi's life before and during the lab and what had happened after she woke.

She could do this. For her son, she would do this.

Everything would be alright.

Chapter Text

Jiraiya came to to the sound of singing.

“In the span of time we live out our lives
Calmness sweeps us off our feet
In the end, we're left with memories kept
Locked away, as they spiral down and fade away from thee...”

The person singing was doing it in a soft voice, as if to not be heard from afar. Jiraiya couldn't recognize the owner of the voice and was confused as to why there was someone singing.

“As for me, I'll sing the song of now
For that's all that I can do
Though my memories escape me
They're a part of my heart, just as I have thought of you...”

He slowly opened his eyes, still sluggish from what he identified as chakra exhaustion and swiveled his eyes around, trying to take stock of his situation and location.

He and Tsunade had been laid on the ground on their backs, side-by-side, but Orochimaru was nowhere to be seen. It wasn't until he looked around once more that he spotted his teammate lying on his back against the thighs of the woman that had saved them. She was running the fingers of her left hand through his hair as she sung, a wistful expression on her face.

“al a re laye
al a re layo
al a re laya~
al a reya

al a re laye
al a re layo
al a re laya~
al a reya...”

She had a pretty voice, even if it cracked sometimes and sounded hoarse, but it made sense considering her malnourished form. She was obviously in bad condition which made it all the more impressive that she'd taken out three nukenin.

She didn't seem hostile towards them, though Jiraiya did wonder why she seemed so attached to Orochi-teme. Well, now that he could see her clearly, he could tell that she had those same purple marks as Orochimaru, so maybe they were related? Orochimaru had never talked about any relatives, though. Not that they talked about family much in general. As she continued to sing and card her fingers through Orochimaru's hair and cup his cheek with her other hand, Jiraiya could feel Tsunade stirring.

Deeming it safe, Jiraiya slowly sat up and was only briefly disappointed that the woman merely glanced in his direction and did nothing else, just continued with what she was doing. On one hand, it meant she didn't see them as a threat, on the other it could mean she didn't expect them to attack her for whatever reason.

It was as if she... trusted them, on some level, not to attack. It was nice, he guessed. He'd gotten used to civilians distrusting looks a while ago.

Then again, the woman couldn't be just a civilian, what with those moves and that appearance. Just where the hell had she run from and was she related to the plume of smoke they'd seen? Whoever she was, Jiraiya could be absolutely sure she had no ill intentions towards his raven-haired teammate. Now if only he knew her name.

Kiyomi was content to card her fingers through her son's hair even as his teammates woke up. She could sit here forever and just go through these repetitive motions while singing. It was soothing. It would be better if the future Snake Sannin's hair was clean, but at least it was covered in less unidentifiable stuff than her hair was, even after that one rinse in the river.

She needed a shower. And shampoo. And conditioner. Honestly, what she really wanted was a nice long soak in a bath tub, but she would probably go to T&I first. Hopefully they would give her food. She couldn't actually remember what food tasted like anymore. It was weird, since she had memories of eating, but she couldn't remember the flavours of anything. There were many contradicting things about her mentally, but that was because she was the merging of two minds, with one being more dominant than the other. She wondered what a Yamanaka would see. Oh well, she was pretty sure she could scramble or focus enough to get by and with her seemingly harried state she doubted she'd get one of the best, especially with her being Orochimaru's mother. Hiruzen was, to put it nicely, a sucker for feelings. In harsher terms, the man was a sentimental fool. However, the man was also the God of Shinobi and she might actually get the best of the best going through her mind. If worst came to worst, she'd claim genjutsu.

Then again, she didn't really know how the Yamanaka mind-jutsu worked. The most skilled user might not be the most gentle user, which could mean she could in theory get the most gentle user, with her being this cracked already. If she played up her trauma and need for noise, she could possibly fake it 'till she made it. Then again, there wasn't much need to play it up, silence made her start to panic. Perhaps one day, the silence wouldn't make her cold or make her hear the phantom-noises of chains and screams.

(Her wrists were scarred from struggling against unyielding metal and leather straps had left their mark on both her wrists and ankles. The scars weren't as bad as they would be had she continued struggling after that first year. Now they were pale and faded, but they still remained to cause her discomfort in the cold.
She would never recover her strength and her hands were no longer steady as a surgeon's.
She doubted she'd ever be able to hold a weapon again.)

Kiyomi turned her gaze back to the sleeping face of her son and she felt tears forming in her eyes. She did nothing to even try and stop them as they fell down her cheeks. It was cleansing to cry for no other reason than relief and happiness. It had been a while since she'd had anything to be happy about.

She paused as the figure in her lap shifted before she let her palm rest on his forehead, his Hitai-ate looping around his neck where she'd moved it as his eyes moved behind his eyelids. Amber eyes with slit pupils, much like her own if a different colour, blinked open and peered up at her in confusion. A pale hand covered in black fingerless gloves reached shakily for her face and Kiyomi caught the hand, guiding it to her right cheek and resting it there, closing her eyes as she leant into the touch and smiled at the feel of her son's cool skin against her own almost cold skin. She was operating on very little energy, she was actually surprised she wasn't shivering from her inability to produce her own heat.

“Orochimaru, who is she?”

Kiyomi didn't react to the question posed by her son's female teammate and let Orochimaru do the talking.

“... kaa-san...”

“Eh? Teme, how can you be sure?”

“... kaa-san's body was never recovered... and she said something only my mother would have said to me...”

Kiyomi decided to open her eyes at this point and let her son slip out of her grasp as he sat up, sounding exasperated as he explained the situation to his teammates. Or rather, Jiraiya. With her son occupied for the moment, Kiyomi focused on her feet once again, starting the healing process all over again. First repairing her over-exerted muscles before moving to the wounds and scrapes on her feet. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to walk much anymore, never mind taking to the trees as the teens would obviously like to.

She didn't notice she'd started to hum again until Jiraiya snapped “Would you stop humming?”

Kiyomi blinked sliver eyes at the boy before smiling serenely and replying “Can't.” and going straight back to humming.

Her son eyed her before hesitantly asking, “Why can't you?” ever the rational one.

She turned to look at him and her smile turned more genuine even as her words contrasted her expression and tone “It drowns out the silence. With silence come the screams.”

An awkward silence descended upon the camp once the three Chuunin realized that something very bad had happened to the former kunoichi for her to act like this. None of them brought up the humming again and after a moment to reassess their condition and supplies, they set off towards Konoha.

Orochimaru had forced his mother on his back once he'd seen her bleeding feet and atrophied muscles. He was very sure she had already strained herself too much while escaping whatever place she'd been in. Her gaunt appearance was disconcerting and he kept half his focus on her the entire journey. His teammates were suitably weary of the added person to their entourage and the faint singing wasn't helping. Her songs varied a lot and the trio could only recognize a few, not even a quarter of what they'd heard from her. All three wondered where she'd learned these songs, because there really was no way they hadn't heard at least some of them. It was also eerie how well some of the songs suited the situation. Jiraiya was convinced she was doing it intentionally. Orochimaru knew she was, but said nothing. Tsunade just didn't care, being in full Medic-Nin mode.

“What was it that I truly lost that day?
I forgot a long time ago...”

Orochimaru was morbidly impressed how his mother seemed to subconsciously recall the lyrics of over a dozen songs. She had yet to repeat any of them, though the tone of her voice was eerie to listen to when she was only singing to fill the silence.

“In the twilight, the two of us started to become unnoticeable, little by little
Nevertheless, we wouldn't return home...”

The Chuunin had let his mind work over the scarce information he had about his mother's situation. For one, there was no doubt about the fact she had been the origin of the pillar of smoke they had witnessed, if the singed hospital gown was anything to go by. Secondly, wherever she had been had affected her mental state severely. Orochimaru doubted she'd ever be fit to be sent out on the field again. Thirdly, wherever she had been, she had been there for a long time, perhaps even the entire time she'd been MIA, assumed KIA. In addition, whoever had taken her had had specific requirements, seeing as his father's body had not been taken nor had he been taken alive.

“Somewhere is my seemingly broken and fragile heart
Covered and hidden, covered and hidden by words under the pretense of being strong...”

And lastly... Orochimaru had seen the scars... but he was certain he had only seen a small portion of them. However, the ones around her wrists and ankles were telling.

“You said that we can't meet anymore, so we'll move on, farewell
Even if you aren't in this world, I will run, surpassing someday's pain- whoa...”

Orochimaru blinked at the sudden change in his mother's voice and realized they had visual contact with Konoha's walls.

“It's... big...”

Orochimaru glanced worryingly at his mother, not liking the absent tone or expression she had at the moment. Just how fragmented was her mind? This was not a comment someone returning home would make, rather it was something one would say when laying their eyes on Konoha for the first time. Did she remember anything about her life, aside from him? He supposed he should be glad she recognized him at all, but this was scaring him, no matter how much he was loathe to admit it. “... how... how much... do you remember, Kaa-san?”

Her almost vacant eyes didn't move from the wall even as she extended a hand towards it, her fingers splayed as if to grasp the scene “More than I expected... and less than I'd like...” she dropped both her arm and her head as she continued “The only thing I could hold on to... was the thought of seeing you again. My son. Nothing else... mattered.” her fingers wound themselves in his shirt as she gripped it tightly “Nothing... mattered...”

Orochimaru swallowed and faced forward, ignoring Tsunade and Jiraiya as they shot worried looks their way, having heard every word.

They stopped at the gates, knowing Kiyomi had to be registered in order to gain entry, but none of them were really sure how to go about it. Before they could even begin to discuss it with the person in question, the gate-guards hopped down in front of them. The three chuunin exchanged a glance, before anyone could utter a word, Kiyomi started speaking.

“00...08...88...” she rasped, slowly lifting her head up, her face partly obscured by her hair, causing one of the ninjas in front of them flinch and take a step back as he recognized the number and what he could see of her face “Tokubetsu... Jounin... Awahebi Kiyomi... returning from mission... requesting audience... with the Hokage...”

“Kio...”

A hazy silver eye focused on the speaker briefly “... who are you?” Kiyomi whispered.

The gate-guard looked affronted and worried at the same time, the brunette took the senbon out of his mouth and laid a hand against his chest “What do you mean, who- Shiranui Haruto! We're friends even though you're ten years older than me, you kept joking I should-”

“-name your firstborn Genma. You'll match.” Kiyomi deadpanned, shaking her head slightly “... what...” she then muttered, obviously confused.

Shiranui looked even more worried before looking at Orochimaru “What's wrong with her?”

Orochimaru's expression didn't waver “We don't know, she's mentioned that she remembers very little of her life before... before her capture. She remembers me, thankfully, but as you just witnessed, everything else is... fragmented, at best.”

Haruto frowned before nodding “I'll accompany you to Hokage tower, this is an urgent matter and needs to be handled correctly.”

His partner started to protest “Oi, Shiranui, you can't-”

“I can and I will!” the brunette snapped, the senbon between his teeth almost falling out.

With that, he turned on his heel and led the way to the Hokage tower. They took the Shinobi way, that is to say, across the rooftops. The short journey only took as long as it did due to Orochimaru being extra-careful due to carrying his weak and wounded mother. No one complained.

They entered through one of the larger windows placed there for the sole purpose of Shinobi entering and exiting through it. This way they only needed to go up one flight of stairs. It didn't take them long to make it to the doors that led to the Hokage's office, not even glancing at the secretary, Haruto knocked on the door and opened it, letting the trio and their returnee in before closing the door behind them.

Sarutobi Hiruzen looked up from his never-ending paperwork at the sound of a knock on his door. He was only slightly perturbed by the fact it was opened without him beckoning whoever was on the other side to come in. The insubordination was forgotten in the face of his returning students and the old Hokage stood up with a smile to greet them, only for his smile to drop at the sight of Orochimaru carrying someone on his back.

Putting away his pipe he rounded his desk “What happened?” he asked when he noticed their worn-out state, the state of their clothes and the scrapes they sported.

Jiraiya and Tsunade exchanged glances as Orochimaru gently set down his passenger, who moved their hands to the boy's shoulders as they were set down in a chair “It's... a long story...” Jiraiya started.

“One which we do not know.” Orochimaru finished as he straightened himself, glancing at his teacher before turning to the person they had brought with them.

Hiruzen bowed slightly to take a closer look at the unidentified person when they looked up and silver eyes met brown, which widened in recognition.

“Kiyomi-kun...” the Hokage breathed, before straightening his back and putting on a stern face

“Orochimaru-kun, please step away from her.”

Orochimaru looked confused “Why? Kaa-san can barely stand and I'd rather not be that far away from her...”

Hiruzen glared sternly at his student “We do not know if she is who she claims to be-”

Orochimaru stepped defiantly forward “I have confirmed her identity!”

“You are emotionally compromised-”

“My mother promised me she would return for my graduation, no one but the two of us were aware of that fact so there is no possible way she isn't who she claims to be!”

Hiruzen was silent at that, his hand coming up to caress his beard. He was still not certain whether or not this woman truly was Orochimaru's mother, Kiyomi, and was about to speak up about the fact once more when the woman spoke in a raspy voice only slightly familiar to him.

“You didn't fix it right.”

Everyone turned to face the woman, who was staring at a discoloured spot peeking out from behind a small painting. Either not noticing or not caring about the sudden attention she received, the woman continued in a slightly absent tone “I had requested leave specifically in time for my son's graduation. I was mad to be called on a mission, so I broke-”

“You were so angry you broke my desk, causing a rather heavy piece to fly into the wall, causing a dent. No. I never did bother fixing it properly, since it was that mission that supposedly killed you.” Hiruzen finished for her with a sigh, now knowing why Orochimaru was convinced. He never had told anyone that particular story, no matter how many asked about the wall, and the desk.

Still, she would need to be evaluated. It wouldn't do if someone had managed to plant triggers in her mind or had brainwashed her.

“Hokage-sama...”

Hiruzen once more focused on a subordinate he'd thought he'd never see again, waiting for her to speak.

Silver eyes stared listlessly into space before once again focusing on the leader of Konohagakure “Tokubetsu-Jounin... Awahebi Kiyomi... requesting withdrawal from active-duty.”

The Sandaime raised an eyebrow, having thought she'd only ask for indefinite leave “May I ask why? You always expressed an interest in becoming Jounin.”

The woman-who-might-be-Kiyomi smiled sadly “I have become too damaged... silence takes me back to that place... missions would be impossible to complete by a Kunoichi physically incapable of being completely silent without having traumatic flashbacks...” a bitter laugh “after escaping... I could not even remember my own name...”

The elder frowned, picking up his pipe once again. The damage to her psyche was concerning, he could not in good conscience even consider re-instating her. She would have to go through a screening, but he'd have to assign her to someone more experienced with trauma-patients, rather than someone from the T&I.

“Technically, I would have to re-instate you, since you were considered dead. But since you won't, and frankly shouldn't, return to service, I only need to declare you alive. You'll have to submit yourself to mental screening, of course, and give a full report on your whereabouts for the last decade. This can be done during the screening. Now, Kiyomi-kun, I understand you are not well, but I would like to get this out of the way as soon as possible.”

Maybe-Kiyomi nodded her head “And a DNA test would be good. I really don't want to deal with idiots claiming I should be locked up because they don't know if I'm who I say I am.”

Hiruzen smiled lightly, he had missed her attitude a little, though he'd never admit it. Of all the things Orochimaru had inherited from her, it had to be her sarcastic, smug tone while talking to or about people she considered idiots.

“Of course, Kiyomi-kun.”

Chapter Text

Kiyomi sat in the interrogation room, humming for now as she waited for her very own Yamanaka to enter. The room was lit and warm, much to the woman's relief and she had come to the conclusion that this room was not reserved for people under suspicion. It was still painfully military-grade, but that was a given, really. It was a Shinobi village, after all.

As she sat there silently she tried to rummage for and through her predecessor's memories. She'd only briefly glimpsed what was there, only gaining the memory of the argument before leaving and a minor interaction between her and her supposed friend, Shiranui Haruto. This, she supposed, was Genma's father. They looked much alike, though Haruto had shorter hair which had only slightly peeked from under his Hitai-ate, which was tied around his head in a similar way as Genma's, but the metal plate was facing forward. It was slightly jarring, she knew the man on a subconscious level yet she could barely dredge up even the slightest thing about him. It was the same as everything else, the memories of Liz were much more prominent, though even those were slowly fading to cut out things that were not too important, such as the dates of historic events and birthdays. It was... disconcerting, but she hoped that she wouldn't forget too much. Kiyomi's memories were very hard to reach, but sometimes the sight, sound or smell of things triggered something. Honestly, the only reason she'd remembered ever discussing Haruto's kids with him was because of his voice, or rather, the tone he'd been using. It was still confusing, but she would persevere.

“You’re on the edge of giving up
You know I feel it too
You won't be alone because
I’m with you
Bring the fire, bring the smoke, bring the rain
We will bend but we will never break”

The words came from her mouth unbidden and Kiyomi couldn't really fault her unconscious song choice. It was one of her favourites as Liz. She liked the lyrics a lot.

“If we believe we can’t lose
Even mountains will move
It’s my faith, it’s my life
This is our battle cry
They can’t take us down
If we stand our ground
If we live, if we die
We will shout out our battle cry...”

She wondered what whomever was watching her from behind the one way mirror was concluding about her mental state based on the song. She didn't much care, she just wanted to get it over with and singing was mostly to fill the silence.

“...We will bend but we will never break

I believe we can’t lose
Even mountains will move
It’s my faith, it’s my life
This is our battle cry
They can’t take us down
If we stand our ground
If we live, if we die
We will shout out our battle cry

Can you hear it?
Can you feel it?

Let it rise like a prayer in the night
Shout for love, shout for hope
Let them hear us”

Then again, Liz had always seen music as therapeutic. Kiyomi had to give her previous self some credit, the right song at the right moment could do wonders for one's mood or stress levels. She was feeling better every time she sung. Humming was great white noise, but singing gave her some sense of security. Here, there was no danger in being heard singing. There was no danger that came from making noise. She was inside the village, where no one would hurt her physically for making noise outside of 'the sessions'.

“I believe we can’t lose
Even mountains will move
It’s our faith, it’s our life
This is our battle cry
They can’t take us down
If we stand our ground
If we live, if we die
We will shout out our battle cry”

The more she thought about singing, the more she remembered why she'd been stuck in silence back at the lab. She, her predecessor, whomever. It didn't matter, she could remember things that belonged to the previous owner of this body, therefore the memories were technically hers. Her identity might be complicated, but it was basically just a name-change and some knowledge. At least her predecessor's instincts were strongly linked with the body. Kiyomi could tell her predecessor had been strong. She'd lasted for a decade, after all.

As the song wound down, the door opened and Kiyomi was faced with an unfamiliar male Yamanaka, but a Yamanaka nonetheless. This was going to be interesting.

Mind-walks into the heads of traumatized people were a delicate process, one which could not be done by someone working for the T&I. The goal was not necessarily the extraction of information, but rather understanding what was wrong and not making it worse. The slightest headache could trigger PTSD in some cases. This was why Yamanaka Inobi was the one given the case of Awahebi Kiyomi, a previously thought to be dead Tokubetsu-Jounin whom had been experimented on and tortured to the point where the woman had repressed almost all her memories. This might be the hardest task Inobi had ever been given, but the Jounin refused to back down from a challenge.

The woman looked worn, the blond noted as he entered the room and took a seat opposite the pale ex-kunoichi.

“I'm Yamanaka Inobi, before we start, I have to inform you that whatever I learn during this session is only partially confidential. The Hokage needs full reports on your mental health and I will have to notify him or your son of any potential triggers I might find. This is all for the good of your mental well-being, alright, Awahebi-san?”

The woman nodded before taking a deep breath and looking into Inobi's eyes “So, how are we doing this?”

Inobi brought his hands up in front of him, concentrating on Kiyomi's eyes “Just try to relax, this will only take a minute.”

With that, he dove in.

Pain.
Darkness.
Silence.
OhGodWhereAmI?
Chains rattling.
Silence.
Darkness.
Pain.
I want to see my son.
October 27th.
Silence.
I want to see my son.
Pain.
Dripping water.
Rats squeaking.
Silence
I want to see my son.
I want to see my son.
I want to see my-
Silence.
Pain.
A gasp for breath.
escape-escape-escape-runNOW!
Screaming, pain, fire.
Running.
Running.
Running.
Water.
A reflection.
Confusion.
Who?
A hand comes up to touch their face, the reflection copies.
“Orochi...maru?”
I am... a mother?
A name, I need a name!
A name!
Mi-chan.
Kiyo-chan.
Kiyomi-kun.
My name?
Hysterical, broken laughter.
I want to see my son.

Chapter Text

Hiruzen stared gravely at the Yamanaka in charge of Kiyomi's mental evaluation. The man looked unnerved, which did not bode well in the Hokage's opinion.

“Well?”

Inobi took a shallow breath before answering “Her memories from her captivity are chaotic and repetitive, while memories from before are fragmented at best. Concerning her memories from before, the ones most intact center around her son. The earliest clear memory I was able to glean was her escape and the immediate aftermath. While she could remember her son, she could not remember her own name and had to actually take a moment to try and forcefully dig it out of her mind. She is currently mostly driven by her instincts, but is not unable to socialize. She has severe trauma connected to silence and the sound of chains, I am not sure if she will ever be fit to return to duty if she cannot stay silent for even short periods of time. She might also be afraid of the dark, I suggest she not be allowed to live alone any time soon.” he paused, before adding “Though I can safely say that this woman is Awahebi Kiyomi, even if a very broken Awahebi Kiyomi.”

Hiruzen nodded at that, holding back a sigh. The DNA had come back a perfect match, so there was no disputing the fact that Orochimaru had gotten his mother back. It was a blessing the woman remembered her son, even if the rest seemed to be nothing but bad news. He knew it could be worse, but it didn't change the fact that the situation made him feel all the more heavy.

“Thank you, Inobi. Anything specific I or her son should be aware of?”

“Avoid darkness and silence, if at all possible.” the blond replied immediately “Therapy can come later, at the moment she needs to get used to people again.”

Hiruzen dismissed the Yamanaka soon after that, before summoning his ANBU to go retrieve both Orochimaru and the boy's mother.

Kiyomi hummed to herself as she walked vaguely familiar streets towards the Hokage Tower. She wondered what her mental assessment had turned out like, but at least she knew it wasn't anything too alarming, seeing as she wasn't locked up in the deepest, darkest bowels of the T&I division. When she finally got to the office and the accompanying ANBU disappeared from sight, she found that Orochimaru had also arrived, though he was already in a chair in front of the Hokage's desk.

Forgetting all proper manners, Kiyomi made a beeline for her son and gave him as strong a hug as she could muster, what with her atrophy. It was surprisingly tight, considering that her hold forced the boy's shoulders up as he was scrunched together. Not that he complained and instead looked up at her with those same awed eyes she'd been seeing every time his eyes found hers. As soon as she was satisfied, she dragged the other chair closer to her son before sitting and tugging Orochimaru into her arms, petting his hair.

It was glaringly obvious she hadn't taken the separation well.

The Sandaime sat behind his desk with a tolerant smile and the spiritually mixed up woman knew sentiment alone was allowing for her behaviour.

“It does good for the heart to be able to erase a 'KIA' from someone's file.” the old man opened with, a smile on his face as he slid some papers over to the mother and son “Though you have much work ahead of you if you are to recover, I can say with confidence that you will be a functioning member of society in due time.”

Kiyomi picked up the papers and glanced through them. The papers detailed a dietary plan and a physical therapy regime along with appointments to the hospital for multiple check-ups, first weekly and then monthly. She was also receiving compensation for the ordeal, since she had technically still been a Shinobi of Konoha during her imprisonment. There was an unspoken clause that concerned imprisonment and torture while in service. If it could not be proven that the Shinobi had cracked and revealed vital information, they were compensated should they be able to return home. Supposedly, it was a reward for their loyalty as well as an apology, though it only concerned any shinobi that was either not ANBU or not captured on an ANBU mission.

ANBU were equipped with suicide seals and pills. They were to die before they cracked. It was expected of them to endure the worst of the worst.

“Oh, and Orochimaru,” the Hokage continued, facing his faintly blushing student “your team has 6 months of leave. Do take care of your mother.”

The young teen's eyes widened before he nodded, determination practically oozing from his figure even as he was being cradled in his mother's arms. Perhaps he'd been agonizing over what he should do, perhaps he hadn't. Kiyomi couldn't be sure but she was certain she could make him do whatever she wanted if she planned accordingly.

He was still living in his childhood home. Kiyomi realized this before they even reached the house, but only due to the snippets of memory going through her head. She could tell, however, that Orochimaru was happy about the fact that halfway to their home, she had taken the lead. He'd obviously realized she could recognize the path.

Her and her husband's room was sealed up, most likely due to grief and then later due to her son not having need to touch it. Everything was as she remembered, spotty as it was. She knew there was a box of kunai under the bed on her side and a solid oak sword behind the now withered potted plant, but she had no idea what kind of sheets she'd owned. There was a scent she could remember, but couldn't name and a cracked mirror on the dresser. She couldn't remember how it had broken or which drawer belonged to whom. Her mind was a mess of remembering and not knowing. It would take time to get used to.

She cocked her head as she swayed “We should probably air it out.” she mused, already moving towards the windows which, by the looks of it, hadn't been opened since she left.

Her son moved to help, since the mechanism was stuck due to the lack of maintenance and Kiyomi was... not in shape, shall we say.

Oh, who was she kidding? She was weak.

But there was nothing she could do about it now. Her recovery would be slow, but she would recover.

She had a son to guide, after all. And no one was leading him down that dark path.

Not on her watch.

Chapter Text

Orochimaru had never felt so out of depth in his entire life. Missions, he knew how to deal with. His teammates, he knew how to deal with. His parents, he'd known to deal with. But his mother... his traumatized, broken, partly amnesiac mother...

He didn't know what to do.

He'd known it would be difficult for her. He'd anticipated it would be difficult for him, too... But nothing could have prepared him for the reality of the situation.

Their first meal together... it hadn't been a disaster, per say, but it had been an eye-opener for sure.

He'd made porridge. A simple, simple dish that would be easy to digest, with honey to sweeten it. It was something even Jiraiya wouldn't be able to ruin completely.

At the first bite of it, his mother had dropped her spoon and cried.

The pale teen had frozen, muscles tense and eyes wide in horrified confusion.

What is happening? What did I do? What do I do? HOW DO I EMOTION!??

Of course, he'd forever deny he ever thought that last sentence, but the rest of his racing thoughts were perfectly valid, which prompted him to leave his seat and hover unsurely by his mother's side.

“Kaa-san? What's wrong?” the Chuunin asked, his hands raised, but not touching his emotional wreck of a mother, not wanting to trigger her further.

“The taste...”

Orochimaru remained silent as he tried to puzzle out what that meant “... did I do it wrong?” he guessed, not coming up with anything.

The woman shook her head, her forearms flat on the table, her hair creating a curtain around her “I can't remember the taste... the smell, the texture, of- of anything!” she finally hiccuped “I don't know what the hell I'm tasting, I don't know if I've had this before- I don't know what's in it or how to make it... and I don't understand why this is what sets me off!”

Orochimaru was so out of his depth, and he knew it. He was sure, if his mother were looking at him, she'd see it too. “Do you want water?” he asked weakly, looking at the tea he'd brewed, wondering if it, too, would reduce the woman to tears.

The shudder he received was as loud of a 'no' as he was probably going to get, at the moment.

Well, this was... bad. Kiyomi fought the urge to throw up, not wanting to waste the spoonful of food she'd managed to swallow. The field rations hadn't caused anything like this, but perhaps she'd still been running on enough adrenaline for her psychological issues to be blocked off. Her mind, body and soul were held together by an amateur work of kintsuguri that had the potential to be just as fragile as it was beautiful. Only, her pieces didn't match. The colours of the pottery clashed and no one would notice because the shards glued together were too small.

Two pots of different colours, sizes and designs had shattered and someone had fixed what they had thought was one. And she was the result.

She had memories of eating, of course she did, and yet... it didn't match.

Perhaps this was a long time coming, never mind that she had only just woken. Only just returned.

She was a piece of pottery made from two different pots with what others thought were holes but were just pieces of another colour, and her contents were missing.

Perhaps she was taking the analogy a little far, but if the shoe fits...

Looking at the porridge, then pack at the spoon that had clattered on the table next to the hand that once held it, she decided to go about this the easy way. She lifted her hands, straightened her spine, and drank down the meal instead of trying to slowly shovel it into her mouth, afraid of setting herself off again.

He'd done good. She knew just about anything would taste wonderful at this point, but her son had done good. Now she just had to get her groove back.

Whatever that was.

Ignoring her son's wide-eyed look at her actions, she turned her gaze to the tea, before coming to the conclusion that it would be too bitter for her taste buds.... but sugar was not good for her at the moment. Honey it was.

Orochimaru watched in silence as his mother rose from her seat and head for the cabinets, his mind working a mile a minute. It didn't take him long to come to the conclusion that she probably needed some sort of sweetener for her tea, if her taste buds were truly so sensitive that porridge set her off.

Truly, he had much to learn if he was to help her heal.

Perhaps he should read over that file again, to make sure there was nothing he'd missed. He made no comment when the woman started humming another unfamiliar tune. He wondered if that had been a coping mechanism, perhaps even a way to send messages, between the other subjects.

Because he could recognize the signs of human experimentation. And it made him sick to see them on his mother.