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Chapter Text

            It had been quite a while since Mr. Krupp had learned about the existence of the strange, underwear-clad superhero who shared a body with him. It happened on the very final day of the last school year. Those two knuckleheads George and Harold both seemed to know an awful lot about this strange ordeal, despite trying to be far too vague about how it all started. According to them, some strange, unidentifiable super-villain came to the school and hypnotized Mr. Krupp, which somehow lead to him suddenly sharing a body with ‘Captain Underpants’. While Mr. Krupp was highly skeptical of the story the two boys told (especially since it changed every time they mentioned it), he eventually accepted it for the result: Captain Underpants. It took a solid three weeks for Mr. Krupp to even acknowledge there was such a thing as Captain Underpants, let alone the fact that he supposedly was Captain Underpants. Eventually, the newspapers and photos of Captain Underpants saving the day finally caused him to accept it. And it was all to coincidental for him to have sudden lapses in memory conveniently timed with every wacky super-villain who were all somehow involved with a middle-of-nowhere Ohio elementary school.

            According to George and Harold, who had a suspicious amount of knowledge on Captain Underpants, he would ‘switch’ into Captain Underpants whenever anyone snapped their fingers. And he would ‘switch back’, when he was splashed with water.

            Snapping their fingers?! Mr. Krupp had asked. How ridiculous! People snap their fingers all the time, that’s completely unfair! But unfortunately, it was as true as it was ridiculous.

            Now, George and Harold were half-way through their semester as fifth graders. Mr. Krupp had now long accepted the annoying existence of Captain Underpants, and avoided snapping if possible. In fact, he even added a rule against snapping on school grounds! No one even batted an eye, since Jerome Horwitz Elementary School was known for strange, unnecessary rules anyway. The rule seemed to work out pretty well, and only George or Harold would snap when an evil super-villain was near.

            Currently, Mr. Krupp sat alone in his house, listening to old jazz and reading a book. Weekends were great, he didn’t have to deal with any annoying kids.

            He didn’t catch himself bobbing his head slightly to the music, and he definitely didn’t catch himself and his hands slowly raised up to snap along with the music.

            That was the problem with having snapping as your super hero switch: Everyone snaps, all the time. Even Mr. Krupp, when his favorite old timey music plays.

            Before he even had a second to recognize what he was doing, both of his fingers snapped simultaneously.

            Snap-Snap!

            Suddenly, a bright, blinding light filled the room.

            Crap! Mr. Krupp thought, realizing all too lately that he had caused his own demise.

            But, slowly, the light faded. And he was still there! Mr. Krupp was still completely conscious and aware. Everything around him was still quiet as he left it two seconds ago. He was still sitting on his own couch, reading his own book, in his own house. Nothing had changed.

            “Huh…” He mumbled, trying not to move, as if that would cause him to turn into the Captain.

             Was he… cured? Did the effects of the hypnotism just wear off?  Was it-

            “Why hello there!”

            His internal confusion was loudly interrupted by a voice on the floor, next to his couch.

            Mr. Krupp recognized it immediately.

            It was himself!

            “Aaah!” He screamed loudly, jumping back against the couch, pointing at the literal copy of himself on the floor.

            “Aaah!” It echoed, more confused than scared, however.

            “Wh-What… Who are you?!” Mr. Krupp yelled, staying as far back against his couch as possible.

            Suddenly, his copy seemed to regain its composure.

            “Why, I’m Captain Underpants!” He said with a grin, standing up proudly to his full height.

            “Capta-… wait…” Mr. Krupp mumbled, looking around the room. He glanced over at the TV that was off, looking at his own reflection. Yep, still same old same old.

            “And who might you be?” Captain Underpants asked, leaning forwards to examine Mr. Krupp.

            “Stay away from me, you weirdo,” Krupp ordered first, literally shoving Captain Underpants’ face away, “I’m Benjamin Krupp.”

            “Benjamin Krupp…” Captain mumbled, and Mr. Krupp could practically see the old, rusty, unused gears finally turning in that doofus brain of his, “I recognize that name…”

            “Because I’m the other guy in your body, genius!” Mr. Krupp said angrily, jumping up from the couch and standing up.

            “Oh, that’s right!” Captain said happily, but then his expression suddenly fell, “Wow, you look even meaner than I imagined you.”

            “I look exactly like you!” Mr. Krupp yelled, gesturing wildly with his hands, “We literally have the exact same body!”

            “Mmmm, maybe it’s the hair,” Captain Underpants shrugged, with the same goofball expression those other two knuckleheads used every day.

            “Wait…” Mr. Krupp groaned, rubbing his head, “We share the same body… How are you even here?!”

            “Oh, good question!” Captain Underpants said, looking around the room like there would be some clue.

            “I was just reading my book,” Mr. Krupp said quietly, trying to retrace his steps, “the music played… wait, I snapped my fingers! But that should have just turned me into you, not… this!”

            Captain Underpants only shrugged, just as unsure as Mr. Krupp.

            “W-Well…” Mr. Krupp said, trying to come up with some solution, “I can’t just have a copy of me running wild in the city if I can help it! Get back in there!”

            Mr. Krupp pointed to his own head.

            “I dunno how to do that, Krupp.” Captain said, looking a tad worried.

            Mr. Krupp looked around, trying to see if he had left any water bottles laying around. Maybe if he splashed Captain, he’d go away like before?

            “But isn’t this great!” Captain said loudly, interrupting Krupp’s frantic search, “Now we get to finally meet each other!”

            Mr. Krupp simply rolled his eyes.

            “Not really…” He muttered to himself, “I never wanted to see you. All you’ve done is cause trouble!”

            Captain Underpants gasped, looking dramatically offended.

            “I do no such thing!” He said, pointing his finger in the air proudly, “I protect the people of this planet! I’ve stopped countless baddies in the name of all that is pre-shrunk and cotton!”

            “Yeah, and you’ve left me half-naked in the worst possible spots, given me a million-and-one bruises to wake up to, and lost at least 20 of my ties!”

            “Well, gee,” Captain said, his proudly held finger suddenly faltering, “I didn’t mean to lose your ties, but villainy waits on no one! And I can’t control switching any more than you can!”

            “Well what about the bruises, huh?” Mr. Krupp said accusingly, “How can you explain leaving me with all those, and aches and pains for a week! You’ve known just as long as I have that we share a body!”

            Captain hand finally fell, and he started to wring his fingers nervously.

            “Well… y’see…” He tried, eventually giving up and shrugging with a small: “Bad guys?”

            Krupp rolled his eyes again, crossing his arms and trying not to strangle his own duplicate right in his living room.

            “But this can still be good!” Captain Underpants said quickly, his optimism returning as quick as ever, “Now we can talk about each other!”

            “I don’t want to talk about you. I don’t want to talk about me. I want to read my book in silence.” Mr. Krupp deadpanned.

            “Hmm.. It’s certainly hard to talk in silence…” Captain said, missing the point by a mile.

            “Aargh!” Mr. Krupp yelled, “Just… Just sit down!”

Chapter Text

            “What if snapped my fingers three times then sat upside down and sang a-”

            “No. You’re not doing any of that.” Mr. Krupp commanded, sitting next to Captain Underpants on the couch.

            They were brainstorming ideas on how to go back into one body again.

            “I still don’t get why you’re upset!” Captain said, waving his arms around, “This way, I can be a hero all day!”

            “That’s the problem! Don’t forget, you still share my face!” Mr. Krupp reminded.

            “But you wear a wig, and clothes!” said Captain Underpants, “I wear superhero underwear and a cape!”

            “It’s not a wig, it’s a- oh, nevermind! Even without the clothes, you still look enough like me to cause trouble… And even if you didn’t, I won’t allow you just running amuck all day every day. I’m still partially responsible for you now! Somehow…”

            “There’ll be less crime!” Captain said, still childishly trying to convince Krupp.

            “I said no-”

            “And you can stay you all day too!” Captain finished, interrupting Mr. Krupp.

            Mr. Krupp opened his mouth to argue, but slowly closed it.

            “That’s… true… We’ve both snapped since you left, and nothing’s happened…”

            Captain quickly took this chance to ride it out.

            “Yeah, yeah! You can be a mean ol’ bully aaaaaaall day!” Captain nodded.

            “I’m not a- augh!” Krupp yelled, smacking his head. Why did he have to be so annoying?!

            “Well!” Captain said, suddenly jumping up from the couch and walking towards the door, “Now that that’s settled- It’s time to fight some crime!”

            And before Krupp could even try to stop him, Captain was out the door, literally flying away.

            “I forgot about the powers thing…” Krupp mumbled, walking up to the still opened front door.

            He closed it, and walked back to his couch.

            This… This is a good thing, right? Now, he can go back to being a normal principal at a normal school and punish bratty children without fear of snapping in the background. He’d never have to wake up in the middle of nowhere with nothing but underwear, and two kids holding a bucket of water over him. He wouldn’t wake up with bruises from Captain’s fights, and he wouldn’t have to degrade himself to asking George or Harold for ‘updates’ on what happened when he was out.

            Life would finally go back to normal. Well, Captain Underpants still existed, so that’s not really normal, but now he existed far, far away from him.       

            “The farther away, the better.” Krupp decided.

            He looked around his living room for a moment, then decided to continue where he left off on his book, and enjoy some quiet time again.

Chapter Text

            “Ughh…” Krupp groaned, opening his eyes slowly.

            I must have taken a nap, He thought, glancing down at the book laying open on his lap.

            He rolled his eyes, not yet getting up from his awkward lap-position.

            I must be getting old, falling asleep while reading a book. He thought angrily. He’s exactly old enough, as a matter of fact!

            But as he started to pull himself up from laying across the couch, he realized just how tired his body felt.

            His back ached, his arms hardly had the strength to pull himself up, and something told him his knees wouldn’t be able to take it long if he stood up.

            “What…?” He mumbled, rubbing his head. Nothing happened to him beforehand, he was simply reading his book. Why was he so sore?

            As much as his head hurt, he still heard childish yelling outside his front door.

            “-don’t know man, we tried water already!” One voice cried.

            “But what are we supposed to do?! What if he’s stuck like this?!” Another, slightly higher and more scared voice asked.

            They tried to open the door, but it was locked.

            “Huh?” The first voice asked, “Since when does he lock the door on his way out to fight crime?”

            Now, mind you, Krupp immediately recognized the voices. It was the same two voices he heard in his nightmares, of chasing them around forever: George and Harold.

            He figured they had Captain, by the way they were speaking. If he didn’t have such a headache, he’d yell at them until they left him alone. However, he wasn’t ready for anything loud.

            He opened the door, staring down angrily at the two boys. They were dragging a sleeping Captain Underpants behind them in a small red wagon.

            “Ahh!” George screamed.

            “I’m seeing double!” Harold said, pointing up to Krupp.

            “No you’re not!” Krupp shouted, but immediately grabbed his head, and quieting down, “Just bring him in, and be quiet!”

            The two boys glanced at each other in pure confusion, but slowly nodded and walked in, dragging Captain Underpants along with them.

            “How are you two…” George started, pointing back and forth to finish his question.

            “You know just as much as I do.” Mr. Krupp shrugged, going into his kitchen to get some Asprin, “So what’s wrong with him? Too much laundry detergent?”

            “Fabric softener,” Harold quietly corrected.

            “I don’t know,” George said, “He was doing fine, but he suddenly passed out! We don’t know what happened.”

            Krupp stared down at the wagon, and how Captain Underpants was comically twice as large, all of his limbs falling out of the wagon. He looked exhausted, but for no reason.

            He rubbed his temples, and the boys watched him nervously.

            “You two, go home.” Krupp ordered, pointing to the front door.

            “But-”

            “Go.” He repeated, giving them his typical evil-principal glare.

            They gulped and quickly rushed to the door.

            “And stop breaking into my house!” Krupp yelled out as they left, however quickly regretted it.

            “How much Asprin can I take?” He mumbled, checking the bottle.

            As he tried to read the way-too-tiny print, he heard groaning from the living room.

            “Owwie…” Captain whined, and he had apparently fallen out of the wagon while Krupp was in the kitchen.

            “Morning,” Krupp greeted sarcastically.

            “What happened?” Captain asked, rubbing his still closed eyes, “Was there an attack from Diarrhea Dinosaurs?”

            “No, stupid,” Krupp said bitterly, “We both passed out, apparently.”

            Captain continued to whine quietly, and held his hand up high in the air.

            “What?” Krupp asked.

            “Help me up…” Captain requested, sounding an awful lot like a four-year-old.

            “No!” said Krupp, “You help yourself up!”

            “Please… please, please, please, plea-”

            “Okay! Just shut up!” Krupp shouted, slapping his head. Why did he have to share a body with the world’s most annoying brat?!

            “Thank youuuuu” Captain hummed, still holding his hands up.

            Slowly, trying to swallow his pride and just deal with it, Krupp grabbed Captain’s hands and yanked him up quickly. He wasn’t trying to make it comfortable, after all.

            But suddenly, there was another bright flash of white light.