Chapter Text
I don’t have any doubt you’ve heard of the Hope’s Peak Talented Program.
If this were some kind of introduction to the concept, right now would be around the time where I’d explain the requirements to get in. How only the most elite of high schoolers could get into the school, or how you can’t sign up, you have to get scouted in order to get the title of “Ultimate.” I’d tell you all of that, but chances are, if you’re hearing this, you already know. Chances are, you already know the general idea of the tragedy I’m about to recount. Chances are, you don’t know who I am either. I doubt you know a version of me that’s recognizable in the slightest.
But your world needs to know.
This catastrophe has brought so many lives to ruin. So many futures stopped dead in their tracks. That’s why you need to carry this knowledge, feel the weight of our catastrophe on your shoulders.
And learn.
----
The shadow of the massive skyscraper of a school building loomed over me like a bad dream. Despite the shade that covered me, I still felt the instinct to cover my eyes, as if this school was the sun itself.
The building that stood in front of me was the absolute greatest school of all time. A private school if private schools were actually any good whatsoever. Hope’s Peak Academy, the Ultimate Academy. You could have any talent: from Gunslingers to Extreme Ironers, you could probably get in: so long as your talent brought some chance of hope to the world.
If you went somehow went back and time and told eleven-year-old me that she would be going to Hope’s Peak Academy, she’d probably ask you; “What for?”, probably sounding like a curious mongrel.
You’d tell her, “Giving people flowers.”
My name is Natsuka Hino, I’ve been scouted as the Ultimate Florist.
[NATSUKA HINO// FLORIST]
It sounds a bit pathetic, because it is. Could you blame me? Getting into the school is impressive enough, but having a talent that’s actually worth a shit is just blatantly out of my reach. Besides, I can’t remember a time that I didn’t like flowers.
My passion for them grew around the time I was six or seven, but even before then I’d known the three things that carried me to my career: Flowers are pretty, flowers make people feel pretty, flowers mean different things. Of course, I’d probably word it better nowadays, but the concept still works.
I must have been standing outside of the school for a good 10 minutes, writhing in my own anxiety and trying not to faint, all while trying not to show it on my face, and walked into the gates.
I would describe the inside of the school, but the only things I could tell you would be ‘clean, professional, and nauseating.’ The minute my foot was inside the actual building I felt this swirl in my abdomen that I didn’t react to. I was acting perfectly normal, despite the fact that my world was turning black.
………………………………………….
……………………………..
…………………..
……….
…..
…
.
And I was falling. I was falling, but I couldn’t feel the screeching whistles of wind around me as I plummeted to some inevitable demise. I wouldn’t crash into the ground. I was in blackness. A void. I felt my memories try to escape my body as I grasped onto them.
My name is Natsuka Hino. I’m five foot three and sixteen years old. My favorite thing is stuffed animals, I don’t like fire or green tea, and glass bottles make me anxious.
As these memories became easier to hold on to, I came closer to reality. Closer to the realization of what was to come…..
And I woke up.
NATSUKA: …….
….. Huh…?
My vision blurred, and then focused on the ceiling….?
The ceiling was.…?
The ceiling…?
It was covered in pictures of flowers, illuminated by the homely yellow glow of an old lamp in the corner. Sitting up, I noticed there was a desk in the corner with many supplies that I had in my actual station back home. That didn’t matter though, the only thought running through my head was…
NATSUKA: W-where the hell am I?
I got up from the bed and glanced at the blanket that laid on top of it (floral and pink). After that came the rest of the room.
The mirror on the wall of the room revealed my features to myself, my black eyes were scared and rushed, while my straight black hair was messier than usual and came down a bit below my shoulders. The mole under my left eye was the same as ever, and so was the annoying hair antenna that I could never comb down. I rolled up the sleeves my mint-green button up and adjusted my red tie shortly before making sure my blue overall dress fit well. My rain boots never fit, but that was something I was used to.
The nightstand by my bed had a drawer, which I opened. There was a silver key with a nametag labeled “Hino N.”
I tested out the door to make sure that I wasn’t trapped in this room, and to my surprise, I wasn’t. I pushed open the doorknob and found myself in a hallway, where I spotted someone else inside of it.
The person I saw, a rounded figure, generally soft looking. Obviously a bit overweight by BMI standards, which are generally flawed. She dressed in suspenders and a mostly monochrome outfit, with brown hair, dark skin and cold blue eyes. We stopped and looked at each other for a few seconds before she had the mercy to break the silence.
SUSPENDERS GIRL: [Waving awkwardly] … Hi?
NATSUKA: … H-hello? What do you expect me to say? Do you have any idea what’s going on? Who the hell are you?
SUSPENDERS GIRL: [Defensive position] Ah! J-jeez, calm down with the questions-- I-I think I’m basically in the same position as you are!
I… walked into my new school… and then I kinda felt this really weird stomach churny feeling… and then I was just in this room! Tons of bottles everywhere!
U-uh… is that something like yours?
NATSUKA: That’s… [sigh] exactly what happened to me.
SUSPENDERS GIRL: [Open mouth] Oh, wait, are you a Hope’s Peak student too?
NATSUKA: Well… Yes, yes I am. Are you one?
SUSPENDERS GIRL: Yup yup! Totes certified by the Hope’s Peaky guys up there!
NATSUKA: … Totes?
Ugh, whatever. What’s your name?
And… talent, I guess.
SUSPENDERS GIRL: Oh, yeah- I’m Emizu Hoshino, and people call me the Ultimate Bartender!
[EMIZU HOSHINO // BARTENDER]
Bartender? That shouldn’t be legal… but I don’t think there’s a being in the current universe that actually cares, so whatever.
EMIZU: [Cheery] Sooo, mystery girl, what’re you about?
NATSUKA: I’m Natsuka Hino. Call me Natsuka. I’m a florist.
EMIZU: Natsuka? That’s a really pretty name ya got there, girly! Flower of the summer… right?
NATSUKA: U-uh… yeah- yes. Field of sun with the summer’s flower, specifically.
EMIZU: [Starry-eyed] OMG, OMG, that’s even prettier! Seriously, you lucked out with such a pretty name!
… She’s saying that out loud?
NATSUKA: … R-really, it’s not a big deal.
… We should really figure out what’s happening right now.
EMIZU: Oh my gosh, I totally forgot… Uh, I dunno what’s going on, but I don’t feel like it should be… that bad, right?
NATSUKA: One can pray.
As we walked, I realized that we were in some kind of… Mattress store. Small and cozy, but it held a collection of rooms.
NATSUKA: Where even are we? Is this a store?
EMIZU: [Shrugging] I… don’t know. Wouldn’t it be weird if we were just… in a mall for some reason? Wouldn’t that be crazy!
NATSUKA: We’re in a mall.
EMIZU: Oh my god we’re in a mall.
[Freaking Out] O-okay I swear that was a joke! I have no idea what’s going on!
NATSUKA: Dear god, I believe you, calm down.
EMIZU: O-okay! Sorry!
The mall’s first floor seemed to be split into the food court and the plaza.
NATSUKA: … Where should we go?
EMIZU: Um… seems like there’s other people here, so that’s really good! There’s a really cute-looking store over there too, so we should go there!
NATSUKA: You really like cute things, don’t you?
EMIZU: [Embarrassed] Heh, you got me. Anything cute has me in the palm of it’s hand, totes!
Seriously, if a cartoon cat with a cute art style told me to topple the government, I wouldn’t be able to say no!
NATSUKA: …
EMIZU: That was a little much, wasn’t it?
NATSUKA: Very.
We walked towards the sickeningly pink store, which had a sign that said ‘Pasteland’ at the top in a gaudy yellow faunt.
NATSUKA: … Pasteland?
EMIZU: It’s probably a pun or something.
NATSUKA: They legitimately, unironically named their store ‘Pasteland’?
EMIZU: [Shrugs] They probably thought it was clever?
NATSUKA: They should win an award.
I’d suggest Darwin’s.
EMIZU: [Covering mouth] Pfff! Good one!
God, it’s like this girl just jumped out of a romantic comedy.
--
The sign slowly moved behind us as we walked into the store, it was just as pink as it looked from outside. 3 people stood in it, each with some amount of pink on them.
FEATHER BOA GIRL: [Sighs] It’s so tiring being such a popular artist with so many fans… [Yawns]
[Rubs eye] … How many autographs do ya want… You’re gonna hafta give me the pen, though…
[Dramatic pose] Beware, though… I can sign so many autographs in five minutes your head’s gonna spin.
FASHIONABLE GIRL: Seriously, like, who the hell is this chick?
IRRITATED BOY: [Face in hand] Legitimately? No clue.
FEATHER BOA GIRL: [Neutral] …
[Light Surprise] Huuuh? You dunno who I am?
FASHIONABLE GIRL: [Annoyed, crosses arms] Uh, yeah! If you were some kinda celebrity, I would’ve heard of you like, 5 years ago!
IRRITATED BOY: [Smug look] She’s not exaggerating. She’s into pop culture like it’s serotonin, or maybe antibiotics.
Could you get any more opposite?
EMIZU: [Concern] Uh, hey, what’s going on?
FEATHER BOA GIRL: [Rubbing eye] Oh, nothin’. These guys just dunno who the Ultra Super Duper Famous Sculptor Yui Kajiwara is… Thas all…
[YUI KAJIWARA // SCULPTOR]
… Who?
The girl in front of me had dark skin, but was noticeably lighter than Emizu. She wore her pink hair in pigtails and carried a pink feather boa on her shoulders, which was also home to an oversized purple coat with green stripes. Her most obvious feature was probably how short she was, though.
EMIZU: [Starry eyed] Wait, you’re Yui Kajiwara!? Ohmygoshohmygosh-- I’ve seen some of your sculptures! I thought they were freaking photos! Photos!
YUI: … That’s cuz they prolly were photos…
EMIZU: Oh, you know what I mean! You’re seriously so freaking talented!!
YUI: [Smiling lightly] Yup. That’s me. I do autographs.
… Do you… uhh… have paper?
EMIZU: …
Drat! I don’t have any paper!
YUI: There might be some later. ‘s cool.
EMIZU: [Pretends to wipe tear] Such a gracious soul……
NATSUKA: … What?
EMIZU: Oh, Yui Kajiwara’s totes famous for her sculpting. She has the world record for fastest quality sculpture, she’s set and beat it like, 4 times over!
YUI: Eh… that talent comes with a grievous cost… I’m so famous that it makes me exhausted just thinking about all of my adoring fans…
I’ve literally never heard of you.
FASHIONABLE GIRL: Seriously? Where the hell do you know her from? Are you gonna trust her?
IRRITATED BOY: [Hand on hip] If she’s that famous, how have none of us heard of her?
Yes, repeat exactly what she just said yet again. That’ll make an identity for yourself.
YUI: Guess you’re just unlucky… Nna.
Too bad, too bad, my work should be enjoyed by all, not just the majority of the human population…
EMIZU: Oh, um, sorry--
Emizu turned to face the irritated boy and the fashionable girl.
EMIZU: [Hands clasped] I’m Emizu Hoshino- hi, nice to meet you- um, the pale girl over there is Natsuka… Hino. Natsuka Hino.
I nodded.
EMIZU: Yeah, Hino. I’m the Ultimate Bartender, and she’s the Ultimate… Florist!
FASHIONABLE GIRL: [Raising eyebrow] Wait, legit? You’re Hope’s Peak Students too?
YUI: Nna… so am I… weird.
IRRITATED BOY: [Hand on chin] Hm…
FASHIONABLE GIRL: Aight, let’s take it from the top then-
[Winks, flashes peace sign] I’m Aiko Hibarayashi, Ultimate Occultist! Get charmed!
[AIKO HIBARAYASHI // OCCULTIST]
IRRITATED BOY: [Crossing arms] And I’m Tsubasa Komatsu . I do ballet.
[TSUBASA KOMATSU // BALLET DANCER]
Aiko had long blonde hair and dark skin. She didn’t leave much to the imagination, all she wore on her torso was a pink bra and a sleeveless, oversized hoodie that she’d only zipped up a tiny bit. She was about an inch or two shorter than me.
Tsubasa was very, very pink. He had pink hair, a pink hoodie, pink ballet shoes, all of it. What wasn’t pink about him were his eyes, which were blue,and his pants, which were…
Denim blue jeggings. Ugh. He wasn’t slim at all, in fact he was obviously overweight with broad shoulders. Not exactly what I picture a ballet dancer… who wears JEGGINGS.
NATSUKA: You’re… an occultist? Is that legal…?
AIKO: [Starry eyed] Hah! As if, fuck the cops! Demons are, like, cool as hell!
TSUBASA: She’s right. Fuck the cops.
YUI: [Nods sagely] Fuck the cops.
EMIZU: [Flustered] U-um… alright?
NATSUKA: … What the fuck do you even have to do to be the Ultimate Occultist?
AIKO: [Counting on fingers] Welll… I’ve researched demons ever since I was like, 9, I got kidnapped by a cult one time… that was fun, I’ve collected, like, a fuckton of spiritual shit and haunted artifacts… tried to be a medium one time, that didn’t go well, couldn’t get the fuckin’ ghosts out for months-
TSUBASA: They get it, Aiks.
AIKO: Oh, was I rambling? Thanks, Bassy, you always got my back!
EMIZU: [Overwhelmed by cuteness] Oh my gooosh… you two are like, the sweetest couple ever!
AIKO & TSUBASA: [Wretch simultaneously] GOD no!
After Emizu was shocked for the millionth time in those five minutes, we both walked out of the store.
--
NATSUKA: Ugh. What’s next?
EMIZU: Um, I dunno? Maybe that library, or the… garden place??
NATSUKA: I’m in a garden most days of my life, why would I want to go in one again?
EMIZU: … Point taken, uh… how about that gym thing? You don’t look like you’ve been in a gym… ever.
NATSUKA: I haven’t, in fact, mostly because I hate the smell of sweaty, hypermasculine idiots.
EMIZU: Oookaaayy… yeah that’s actually a valid complaint.
NATSUKA: As I thought.
EMIZU: Do you… like movies?
NATSUKA: Who doesn’t like movies? They’re basically one of the only forms of entertainment we get.
EMIZU: That’s blatantly wrong, but there’s a movie store over there! [Points]
Before my eyes laid a blue and yellow sign, it had the words “TAKE 2!” stuck onto the sign flashing obnoxious lights on all of the letters. If I was writing this, I’d probably have to include the exclamation point at the end of the name every time I mentioned it, which bothered me for some reason.
NATSUKA: … Are you suggesting we go in?
EMIZU: [Shrugs] Well, yeah! Might be people in there, y’know?
NATSUKA: Okay, fine, let’s go then, no harm in it, probably.
--
Emizu lead me to the Take 2! Where we saw some new faces among the lines and shelves of old movies.
Inside, there was a small girl with a devil-horn headband rummaging through a box of movies that were on sale, being watched anxiously by a bespectacled, broad-shouldered girl who carried a binder that was held closely to her chest.
HORN GIRL: [Throws movies behind her] Boring! Boring! Cliche! Obnoxious! Main character sucks!
GIRL WITH GLASSES: U-umm… y-you really shouldn’t be d-doing that… uh, s-someone has to pick that up…
HORN GIRL: [Gasps and lifts her head up from the box] You’re so right, broad whose name I don’t know! I shouldn’t be throwing trash all over this fine establishment! What am I, the one percent?
I’m gonna turn over a new leaf, I’m gonna throw trash EVERYWHERE!
GIRL WITH GLASSES: N-NO DON’T DO THAT!!
HORN GIRL: [Flashes a peace sign] Too late~! You’ve doomed me, and therefore you’ve doomed the world! Hope you like answering to Shinzo about why the pacific’s just a mass of straight romcoms!
GIRL WITH GLASSES: [Holds head] Eeeeegh… Hyii…
EMIZU: Ehem, um, excuse me? Are you two… doing alright?
HORN GIRL: TOTES! I finally realized my purpose in life!
GIRL WITH GLASSES: Ghhhh…
EMIZU: Uh, sure, yeah, but what about… [Points to glasses girl] her?
HORN GIRL: Necessary casualty.
Emizu just paused and stared for a few seconds, positively exasperated.
EMIZU: Uh, well, I’m Emizu Hoshino, and folks call me the Ultimate Bartender! Are you two Hope’s Peak students too?
HORN GIRL: …
Hah! Nice try, but you definitely don’t have the look of an Ultimate Student!
… What does she even mean by that? Whatever, I’ll back her up.
NATSUKA: She’s a student, I can attest to that. I’m a student too.
HORN GIRL: [Furrows brow] … Okay first off, cute girl alert, second off, you weren’t joking?
NATSUKA: She wasn’t.
EMIZU: I WASN’T!
GIRL WITH GLASSES: [Writing in binder] Th-that doesn’t seem like something you should joke about…
NATSUKA: If you don’t believe me, I’m Natsuka Hino. Florist.
Classy, aren’t I?
HORN GIRL: Ooo, flowers~! Nice!
[Twiddles with pigtails] Well, since you introduced yourself so kindly, I’ll do the same.
Call me Chishiko Kamii, and I’m the Ultimate Cat Trainer!
[CHISHIKO KAMII // CAT TRAINER]
Chishiko was kind of tiny, and couldn’t have been any taller than five feet. She wore her long blonde hair in pigtails at the top of her head, dressed mostly in black, and adorned her scalp with a devil-horn headband.
CHISHIKO: That’s right, it’s ya girl! Chish!
[Rolls eyes] Side note, don’t call me Chish, if you call me Chish I’ll shank you.
NATSUKA: The term is shiv.
CHISHIKO: [Crosses arms, devious smile] Guess the cutie doesn’t like her intestines~! You want ‘em out!?
EMIZU: [Nervous sweat] UM. Before you do that, can you tell us more about your talent? It sounds, uh, interesting! Haha!
She looks so… awkward.
CHISHIKO: [Looks at nails] Oh, no big.
Y’see, I’m kind of a super awesome medical prodigy, so I know stuff so well that I taught my cats to operate before paramedics can arrive.
Silence.
What the fuck.
GIRL WITH GLASSES: O-okay, noted! Chishiko Kamii, Cat Trainer, a medical prodigy, mischievous and somewhat self centered, enjoys causing reactions in other people!
… I-I wasn’t supposed to say that last part a-as loud as I did.
But I did.
[Mortified] Oh no.
CHISHIKO: Intestines, Four-Eyes, you want ‘em?
GIRL WITH GLASSES: EEEK!! YES!
EMIZU: [Sweating, nervous] U-uh, how about you? What’s your name, Ms.?
GIRL WITH GLASSES: O-oh, um… [Fumbles for words] U-uh…
S-Shiori Maeda. Ultimate Secretary, i-if you please.
[SHIORI MAEDA // SECRETARY]
I’ve never heard of her before, but that’s just about expected from a secretary.
EMIZU: OH! You’re a secretary? Does that mean you help out, like, super cool businessmen n’ stuf?
SHIORI: [Hides behind binder] Y-yes, occasionally! But, uh, mostly it’s just… um… small business owners and college students… haha.
I-I’m really not that special! Honest!
I-I just… I’m organized, and I can… uh, multitask!
EMIZU: REALLY? I can’t multitask at all! I’m pretty sure one time I tried to get super organized and I think I died? I got better, though!
NATSUKA: Do you take notes on everyone you meet.
SHIORI: [Clutches binder in anxiety] …
Y-yes.
EMIZU: … What are mine?
SHIORI: [Flipping through notes] Emizu Hoshino, Bartender. Incredibly cheerful, p-probably informal, seems to want to stop conflict…
A-at least, that’s what I, um, have so far… heh.
EMIZU: WOAH! We’ve barely even talked! That’s spot on!
SHIORI: I-I do this a lot…
She’s… creepy. Why does she take notes of everyone she meets? What are her goals? Emizu seems to think she’s okay for some reason, but she does that with everyone. I’m staying suspicious.
EMIZU: Oh, sorry, but we should probably get going! We hafta introduce ourselves to everyone, and I don’t even know how many there are!
SHIORI: W-well, from when I woke up, I-I counted around sixteen dorms, s-so that should be how many students there are, you should be able to introduce yourself in, uh, less than an hour!
… Does she have her shit together?
CHISHIKO: Oh, before you go, I gotta warn you, when you get to the gym, plug your nose.
NATSUKA: [Reaches for her nose] Ugh, gross, why?
CHISHIKO: There’s a pig in a jumpsuit who smells like pretzels and an American Football game. He’s disgusting to be around, totally grotesque, even! Plus there’s this suuuper boring goth bitch in the library, but you shouldn’t hafta worry about her as long as you gouge your eyes out~!
This broad doesn’t seem to have a filter, does she?
SHIORI: [Head down, glancing up] U-uh, you really shouldn’t call him a… pig… j-just because he’s not very good at hygiene, a-and that he’s overweight, doesn’t mean that h-he deserves to be called a na-
CHISHIKO: [Points lividly] Alright you motherfucking she-dog! YOU can’t tell me what I can and can’t call that fatass! He’s not even here! What damage does it do?!
SHIORI: [Cowers behind binder] HYEEEKK!!
EMIZU: [Turns to Natsuka and whispers] We should… go.
NATSUKA: Let’s… let’s, um, do that.
We turned and left Chishiko and Shiori to their yelling fest, Chishiko started rummaging through the movies again as soon as we left.
--
NATSUKA: So, where do you think we should check out next… ?
… It was at this point that I realized that her and I were travelling together for no reason.
EMIZU: [Rubs back of neck] In all honesty? I’m a little curious about the gym now.
NATSUKA: Why? Isn’t there some kind of… jockish pig in there?
EMIZU: Uh, yeah? I’m just really confused by what she meant, honestly.
He had to have done something that made her dislike him that much…
NATSUKA: … Sure, fine, let’s see what this is all about, don’t be disappointed when he’s just a normal person, though.
EMIZU: He’s probably an Ultimate! He can’t just be some normal guy- plus, I wanna know if I have to be careful while I’m here!
And, reluctantly, I walked with her.
--
The gym (which was named, as I gathered, PumpIt! With the exclamation mark) was mostly blue, and had several worky-outy contraptions that looked more like cyberpunk torture machines to me. As she had warned, it smelled like a combination of stale pretzels and AXE body spray.
In the middle of the room, I saw an enormous man lifting some weights, and a slightly less enormous man above him with a big cape(?) and a scarf, maybe to do that thing they call ‘spotting’ or… something?
In the back of the room, there was a lanky boy in a big coat looking suspiciously at a magazine. It had a picture of a whisk on the cover, and he obviously wasn’t reading it.
ENORMOUS MAN: [Lifting weight] MMPH…
CAPE MAN: YOU CAN DO IT MY CLASSMATE!! I BELIEVE IN YOU! YOU SHAN’T FALL TO THIS METALLIC BAR JUST YET!! TWO MORE!!
ENORMOUS MAN: J-Jesus Christ dude-
CAPE MAN: OUTSTANDING!!!!
The masculinity in this room is suffocating me.
EMIZU: … Holy crud, Natsuka, look closer!
NATSUKA: What? What are you talking abou- Oh my God?
Upon closer inspection, I realized that the slightly less enormous man was, actually inside of a full suit of armor.
What the fuck.
EMIZU: [Starry-eyed] That dude’s so cool! That armor’s gotta be pretty heavy, but he’s just carryin’ it like it’s nothing!
NATSUKA: I-I don’t think ‘cool’ is the word I’d use for that guy…
Meanwhile, the two men at the front hadn’t noticed us at all.
CAPE MAN: ONE MORE!!!!
ENORMOUS MAN: NNNNNNHNNGHHHGPH…!!!
YEAAAAHHH! HELL FUCKIN’ YEAH!
He jumped up and flexed his Man Muscles proudly. A quick glance at his full frame told me this was probably the guy Chishiko was talking about, definitely overweight, dark skin, two-tone dyed mohawk, and… very strange teeth. Not to mention, he smelled awful.
CAPE MAN: [Wipes imaginary tear] Truly incredible… what stunning talent!!
EMIZU: [Claps] WOO! Yeah! Go that guy! Yeah! Haha!
NATSUKA: Emizu.
CAPE MAN: Aa! Who are these fair maidens? Have they come to admire a specimen of masculinity?
NATSUKA: God no.
EMIZU: Haha! No thanks I’m, uh, not really into that.
NATSUKA: … Wait-
CAPE MAN: [Poses dramatically] ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF!
I am Daichi Fujikawa, at your service!
[DAICHI FUJIKAWA // BLADESMITH]
Daichi wore a full suit of armor, though parts of his arms and thighs were covered by cloth instead of metal, and made from the same cloth was a cape on his back. He couldn’t have been shorter than six feet tall, and his broad shoulders made sure that he wasn’t very light either.
EMIZU: Wow! Do you have a talent? Are you like, a knight?
DAICHI: I must negate that! I am assigned the title of Ultimate Bladesmith!
NATSUKA: So you… make swords?
DAICHI: [Flexes] DIRECTLY FROM THE FORGE! I CRAFT THEM FROM MOLTEN IRON!
[Crosses arms, anxious] … T-though I, uh, have been neglecting that a bit lately…
BUT THAT MATTERS NOT! TELL ME, WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES, YOUNG MAIDENS?
EMIZU: I’m Emizu Hoshino, Ultimate Bartender!
DAICHI: [Defensive position] GAH! Are you not too young to drink!? You could be arrested!! MAIDEN HOSHINO, DID YOU NOT KNOW THIS?
Maiden Hoshino…? I guess a being in the known universe did care after all, huh.
ENORMOUS MAN: Dude, no one cares about that shit anymore, you could drink like straight liquor at, like, seven and no one’d care.
Dumbass.
EMIZU: [Nervous sweat] Aheh- that’s a little hyperbolic, but I don’t actually drink…
ENORMOUS MAN: [Embarrassed expression] Oh.
EMIZU: Uh, my friend here’s name is Natsuka Hino! She’s a florist!
DAICHI: A BEAUTIFUL PROFESSION FOR A FAIR MAIDEN! MY WORDS GO OUT TO THEE!!
Is he okay? I thought we were supposed to worry about the fat one, not the one in full armor.
ENORMOUS MAN: Okay, listen up.
My name’s Ota Oguro, an’ I’m the Ultimate Weightlifter, ain’t that some cool shit?
[OTA OGURO // WEIGHLIFTER]
Ota… what a hypermasculine name. I can’t say it doesn’t fit him, though.
Broad, muscular, and manly were the first three words that came into my mind when I saw him. His posture was rigid, like he was going to do something, but didn’t. His face was strange, full lips and two obvious teeth that stuck out of his jaw. He had a lot of piercings, and wore a jumpsuit. All in all, one question was on my mind.
NATSUKA: … How old are you?
OTA: [Scratches cheek] Uh, sixteen, why?
WHAT.
OTA: [Embarrassed] You don't gotta look that surprised...
NATSUKA: … What’s your birthday?
OTA: December Fifteenth.
WHAT!
HE’S??? YOUNGER??? THAN???????? ME????
EMIZU: Who cares about that, how much can you lift?
OTA: Least seven hundred. Pounds, t’ be specific.
EMIZU: WOW! THAT’S INCREDIBLE! And at your age too?
That’s not incredible, that’s terrifying, I immediately looked away and saw the lanky guy at the back of the room staring at our group in awe. I disregarded the conversation they were having and walked over to him.
-
NATSUKA: Why are you at a gym?
LANKY GUY: … What?
NATSUKA: You don’t exactly look… gym-y or jockish or… whatever. I don’t get why you’re here.
Natsuka Hino, conversationalist extraordinaire.
LANKY GUY: [Pushes up glasses] Pff, you’re one to talk, you look like an antisocial pessimist.
Crap, he read me like a book!
NATSUKA: And you aren’t?
LANKY GUY: No no, I’m an introverted pessimist! They’re different!
NATSUKA: And introverted pessimists read… Whisk Magazine…?
There aren’t even any magazine racks here. Where did you get that.
LANKY GUY: I have my ways.
Speaking of ways! Anyways, who are you?
NATSUKA: Natsuka Hino. Ultimate Florist.
LANKY GUY: Another Ultimate? Sick.
[Finger guns] Call me Ren, Ren Takemoto , occupation: Ultimate Matchmaker!
[REN TAKEMOTO // MATCHMAKER]
NATSUKA: I refuse to believe someone with your personality is emotionally intelligent.
REN: YEAH ME TOO.
[Shrugs, awkward expression] Legit, I don’t get why they called me a matchmaker?
I run a blog where people send in two characters and I just kinda smush them together and give them a rating.
Usually it was just, like, their favorite pairing from a thing, or two characters they thought would be totally incompatible.
[Overdramatic shrug] But eventually, people started in sending in actual relationship problems? So I was just like…
“Well I can’t NOT answer these.”
So I did, and apparently they were pretty good since I’m a fuckin’ Ultimate now! Aheh.
[Jabs his thumb at himself] And that’s the origin story of ya boy!
Oh, so he’s one of those basement dweller types. Okay, I think I know what his deal is.
NATSUKA: [Puts hand on chin] So, you’re good at determining whether romances will fail or not, but…
Seriously why are you at the gym??
REN: [Crosses arms] Eh, prob’ly the same reason you’re here.
NATSUKA: You got dragged here by an obnoxiously optimistic Romcom character who was curious about the existence of an overweight jock with hygiene similar to how scientists describe black holes?
REN: …
OKAY I GUESS WE’RE A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
NATSUKA: Out with it for the love of God.
REN: [Pushes up glasses, smirk] …
Cute guys.
That explains literally everything about this man.
REN: Oh don’t you judge me! I’m not some perv, who doesn’t like to look at some cute people every once in a while?
NATSUKA: [Rubs temples] You’re… obnoxious.
REN: What a burn. You sound like my Dad.
Before I could respond to that, a hand tapped my shoulder.
EMIZU: Hey-
NATSUKA: AAGH!
And I ended up on the floor.
EMIZU: [Flabbergasted] … She’s startled so easily…
REN: [Hand over mouth] Pff.
EMIZU: [Trying to change the subject] SO. WHO’S THIS GUY? HAHA.
REN: Ren Takemoto. I’m a matchmaker. [Finger guns]
I got up as Emizu and Ren introduced themselves to each other, and left. Emizu followed behind me, waved to the people in the gym on my behalf, and followed me out
--
NATSUKA: [Crosses her arms] …
EMIZU: There’s a clothing place?
I looked around and saw a sign that said “Killer Cuts,” decorated with props of scissors and fabric.
NATSUKA: [Sighs] Sure, let’s go.
Emizu looked a bit concerned, so she went ahead slower than she would usually in order to watch me more carefully.
--
The store was full of separate outfits, different hats and shirts (etc.) lined the walls, while the outfits took up the main part of the store.
Browsing the store was a shorter, formal-looking guy with a strange combination of a ponytail and a shaved head. He was touching the fabric, kind of pulling his fingers across them all.
EMIZU: Uh, hi! How are you?
PONYTAIL BOY: … Fine.
He didn’t even bother looking at us… Rude.
EMIZU: Aha. What’s your name?
PONYTAIL BOY: …
[Hand on cheek] Rouki Hasagawa. I’m the Ultimate Fashion Designer.
[ROUKI HASAGAWA // FASHION DESIGNER]
Th-This guy!?
Rouki had pale skin, blue hair and eyes, and a purple suit. He had a round nose and gap teeth, and he had an air of disinterest surrounding him. His hair had a fairly wavy texture.
I’d heard of him: even if you hadn’t, then you’ve heard of Obelisk Fashion Industries. Their variety in clothes had them selling things from t-shirts and chokers to avant garde fashion, and the thing they’re most renowned for is their fashion design…
That this teenager happens to lead.
EMIZU: OH! You’re a fashion designer? Emizu Hoshino, I’m a bartender- Do you do any fancy designs for some fancy companies?
ROUKI: [Hand in suit pocket] I run Obelisk's fashion design.
EMIZU: Obel-what??
ROUKI: [Turning away] You probably wouldn’t know about it, your outfit doesn’t look like it has anything of my design.
Has this guy looked me in the eye ONCE?
ROUKI: …
He looked my outfit up and down, though I still felt like he was intentionally avoiding my eyes.
ROUKI: ... Your outfit is... a tragedy.
NATSUKA: What?
ROUKI: Not in the way that it brings too much attention, in the way that whenever I look at it, my eyes feel sore. Did you… attempt and fail at being formal?
[Pinches nose bridge] Overalls? Really?
NATSUKA: I… hate your hair.
ROUKI: Of course you do, it’s fashion-conscious.
That just sounds like another word for pretentious.
EMIZU: [Waving hands] H-hey! Don’t fight, you guys!
[“We Can Do It!” Pose] With positivity, there’s gonna be no reason to ever fight at all! Ha! Ha!
She looks nervous.
NATSUKA: Whatever, lets get out of here before I cause a homicide.
EMIZU: Don’t… Don’t say that! Or kill anybody!
ROUKI: [Smirk] She said “cause,” not “commit.”
NATSUKA: I’m not a quitter, I could do both.
ROUKI: Clearly you are, since you gave up trying to look decent a long, long time ago.
EMIZU: [Gestures to a dress] THAT DRESS IS SO PRETTY. I LIKE THE DRESS.
After a long, awkward sequence of events, we took our leave and once again found ourselves in the plaza.
--
There weren’t a large amount of places left, so I started to mark them down in my head. There’s a library, some kind of punk-ish emo store, a greenery, and the food court. Subconsciously, I began to mutter to myself.
NATSUKA: [Vague muttering noises]
EMIZU: Uh, are you okay?
NATSUKA: I’m weighing my options.
I definitely don’t want to go to that punk-ish store, so I’m saving that for last, the food court could easily be second to last, and the library is a place I kind of want to go to. So I’m planning to go to the library, then the greenery, then the food court and the emo store.
EMIZU: …
[Shines, hands on hips] Huh. I guess we’re doin’ that then!
--
The library was titled simply, Noble & Braun’s, it had a green and brown aesthetic and a white sign. The inside resembled a scholar’s room from some old fantasy novel: books coated the entirety of the shelves, and a few were on the floor.
Checking inside the store, I noticed two people, one tall and a bit broad, the other short and eccentric. The girl in gothic clothes was talking to a boy with a pink sweater and a long red scarf.
GOTH GIRL: The protagonist is unlikable and didn’t deserve half of the things he got for free, he was terrible to Yuriko for the first half of the book, and yet he still gets her heart in the end. It’s troubling how the author thinks that is a half-decent love story…
SCARF GUY: Are we truly supposed to root for Shintaro as the protagonist, or are we supposed to feel like he’s an annoying person? Personally, I believe this book is genius, it’s terrible on purpose, which is a clever experiment created by the one who wrote this.
GOTH GIRL: No, I am fairly certain the author said the book was unironic, ergot, it is bad on accident. Plus, even if it was unskillfully written due to the author’s intention… it’s… it is still bad.
… Are… are they talking about Labor of Love? That book is so popular, but God I couldn’t hate it more if I tried.
Before I knew it, Emizu was practically skipping towards the two and waving.
EMIZU: [Waves] Hey! Hi!
GOTH GIRL: Huh?
SCARF GUY: Hm?
EMIZU: Okay, so, introductions, I’m Emizu Hoshino, bartender, the cold girl is Natsuka Hino, and she’s a florist!
GOTH GIRL: How forward…
I assume you want me to introduce myself as well?
EMIZU: Uh, yeah! That’s what you usually do, right?
GOTH GIRL: … I… suppose that’s what you do.
SCARF GUY: Do you not know you’re supposed to introduce yourself after someone else does? How inept are you?
GOTH GIRL: Shut up.
[Hands folded at waist] My name is Miyako Hirai, you might know me for my work, The Totally Odd and Incredibly Unordinary Life of Shikuko Chichiyaku.
[MIYAKO HIRAI // PUPPETEER]
NATSUKA: Isn’t that the webseries told entirely through puppetry? The one about the goth girl who deals with her insane classmates?
MIYAKO: [Twirls hair] Yes, I made it. In fact, I’m making it.
Miyako had long black hair decorated with a beret, and she wore a black dress with a built-in corset. Her stockings were blue, and she wore sleeveless gloves.
EMIZU: [Gasps!] So, are you like, a puppeteer?
MIYAKO: [Light smile] Yes, that is my talent.
SCARF GUY: If we’re going for introductions, I’ll introduce myself.
My name is Kiyoshi Arita, and I’m also the Ultimate Knitter.
[KIYOSHI ARITA // KNITTER]
Kiyoshi was tall, pale, and muscular. He wore a pink sweater over a fairly business casual outfit, and he had glasses that framed his purple eyes above strangely sharp cheekbones.
EMIZU: [Scratches cheek] Huh… just looking at you, I thought you’d be like, a movie critic or something!
MIYAKO: He is not nearly intelligent enough to be a movie critic. He thought Labor of Love was genius.
KIYOSHI: Oh shut up, I’ll have you know my IQ is one-forty-two, I’m a genius.
EMIZU: Isn’t that the one where the relationship borders on romcom levels of unhealthy?
Uh, whatever, how’d you get your talent, Kiyoshi?
KIYOSHI: Ugh, smalltalk, well whatever.
I once organized a charity event where I knitted hundreds of quality sweaters, mittens, caps and etcetera and donated them to the homeless.
NATSUKA: [Pinches nose bridge] This guy's a dick.
EMIZU: … Natsuka, he organized a charity event and knit so much stuff he got considered an Ultimate. I’m not sure what you think he is.
NATSUKA: [Twirls hair in hand] I have personal experience with rude people, being one myself.
EMIZU: [Holds breath, worried glance] Don’t… don’t say that.
KIYOSHI: No, I can vouch for her being awful, she definitely seems it.
EMIZU: Why can’t you people just be nice to each other…?
I scoffed and turned away, Emizu said goodbye to the two and followed me.
--
EMIZU: WHAT WAS THAT?
NATSUKA: I thought you’d noticed by now that I’m an abhorrent bitch.
EMIZU: [Waves hands in front of her] I haven’t!! That’s not a thing that I think about anyone!
NATSUKA: … Sure. Let’s just… let’s just go.
My subconscious, being amazingly terrible, told me she was lying. Fuck you, subconscious. As we walked towards the greenery, I crossed my arms.
--
Green, green, green. Everything seemed like it was a shade of green in Queenie’s Greenery, as I was told it was called by the swirly sign above the door. Inside was only one person. She was a tall, busty girl with long braided hair dyed multiple colors.
EMIZU: [Gasp!] She’s so pretty, Natsuka! Look at her! Look how pretty she is!
… I don’t think she’s what I go for, but she’s definitely not ugly.
NATSUKA: She’s okay.
Before I could even say that, Emizu had practically skipped over to her, forcing me to jog in order to follow at a steady pace.
MULTICOLOR GIRL: Huh?
EMIZU: [Waves] Hi! I’m Emizu Hoshino, but the folks at Hope’s Peak have decided to call me the Ultimate Bartender!
[Jabs a thumb at Natsuka] The skinny girl over there- her name is Natsuka, and she likes flowers. We’re friends.
NATSUKA: We are?
EMIZU: Of course we are, what else would we be?
NATSUKA: … Acquaintances?
EMIZU: [Pouty face, crosses arms] That’s way too fancy, so we’re friends now.
MULTICOLOR GIRL: …
HELL YEAH! You guys are Ultimates, right? Good for you!
That’s such a weird way to phrase that that I can’t just ignore it.
NATSUKA: [Hands folded at waist] Are… are you not an Ultimate? The rest of us are.
MULTICOLOR GIRL: Oh, I… suppose I’m an Ultimate, I don’t really deserve the title at fuckin’ all though.
Suppose? And why did she inject that swear in there, the sentence sounded awkward with it added in.
EMIZU: Oh coome onn! You’re obviously talented enough to be an Ultimate, so there’s no way you don’t deserve it!
MULTICOLOR GIRL: [Chuckles,] That’s what everyone says!
Anyways, if you’re so fuckin’ curious, the name’s Atsukenna Mizuno, don’t ask, I know it’s weird.
… and I guess people call me the Ultimate Gardener.
[ATSUKENNA MIZUNO // GARDENER]
A gardener? That’s a bit similar to a florist.
For lack of a better word, Atsukenna dressed like a punk. Hot pink and accessories ruled over this girl’s outfit, with her long hair alternating between patches of blonde, pink, and blue. She was noticeably a little more than a lot of the others here, and she wore sandals. She, also, had blue eyes.
EMIZU: [Gasp!] Your name is so pretty! You should thank your parents, cuz they gave you the prettiest name!
ATSUKENNA: [Nervous] Haha. They’re not the ones you should be fuckin’ thanking.
Again with the swearing!
NATSUKA: … How do you cheat at being a gardener? Is there even a way to cheat at that?
ATSUKENNA: [Scratches her chin] … Probably not.
But like, I’ve got [flashes her fingers for emphasis] four brothers, and they all do the same bullshit as me: all gardeners!
They’ve all got so goddamn much more natural talent than I do, but… I’m still the one who got accepted, cause fuckin’, I don’t know, I just fuckin’... did.
That would have been a much better sentence if you just didn't swear!!
EMIZU: [Fistpumps, excited] Just cuz your family didn’t get in doesn’t mean that you have to feel bad about it! [Waggles her finger] Feeling bad about stuff like that doesn’t help anybody, so there’s no reason to be sad!
NATSUKA: You don’t know anything about psychology, do you?
EMIZU: Ahaa whaaaaat? Haha. Ha.
ATSUKENNA: Seriously, I’ve fuckin’ tried that, but I can’t just… not feel guilty. It’s not goddamn your fault, Ms. Hoshino.
MS. HOSHINO??
EMIZU: [Worried expression] … I-I, uh… I guess if you’ve tried, then I guess I… can’t help. [Crosses arms]
NATSUKA: [Mumbles] You’re so dramatic.
Emizu and Atsukenna talked a bit more, and she and I waved goodbye.
--
EMIZU: I kind of wonder if anyone’s gonna be at the food court!
NATSUKA: Do you think that someone… won’t be? There’s been someone at every place we’ve visited, so I’d be surprised if the place where you can eat doesn’t have any.
EMIZU: [Rests cheek on hand] Well… yeah, but the girl with glasses said there were around sixteen. Maybe the rest of them are in the Skullbasher?
NATSUKA: The what?
EMIZU: Oh! That’s the name of the punk store you don’t wanna go to, I looked at the sign!
Sure enough, when I glanced over, I saw the words “Skullbasher” apparently scrawled in a gothic font. Holy god.
NATSUKA: …
We’re going to the food court right now.
EMIZU: I see your point.
--
The food court was mostly free of people, aside from a figure sitting at one of the tables- one of the many tables, I might add. This section could hold at least a few hundred people.
Emizu, before I could physically process it, was walking over to the person, who was short, stocky, and had an eclectic, almost rebelling style. Almost.
EMIZU: Hi! I like your hair!
PUNKISH GUY: [Pats undercut] O-oh, uh, thank you.
EMIZU: It’s very pink! You should be proud! [Thumbs up!]
PUNKISH GUY: No, really, it’s, uh, it’s fine! I don’t really work on it too much.
EMIZU: You don’t work on it!? Are you the Ultimate Hairstylist or something?! That’s amazing!
NATSUKA: If he was a hairstylist, he’d work on his hair a lot.
EMIZU: [Airy thought] Oh, I didn’t think of that…
Uh! Speaking of Ultimates, are you an Ultimate? Everyone we’ve met so far has been one, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you were.
PUNKISH GUY: [Crosses arms] Uh, I guess? I don’t think I’m really special enough to consider myself Ultimate, though, even if Hope’s Peak does.
EMIZU: Oh, uh, you can tell us, though! We won’t laugh!
What is this guy’s talent anyways? He looks a bit like some kind of American biker.
PUNKISH GUY: Uh… okay. My name is Katsuo Sugai, and I guess people call me the Ultimate Baker.
[KATSUO SUGAI // BAKER]
… A baker is just one letter off from a biker. So I’m basically right.
EMIZU: [Gasps!] Do you like… make cakes? I love cake!
KATSUO: I’m- I guess… Sometimes?
EMIZU: Oh, that’s amazing! I’m sure you’re really good at it!
KATSUO: U-uh, not really, but thanks…!
EMIZU: You’re welcome!
KATSUO: …
EMIZU: …
KATSUO: ……..
EMIZU: SO! Uh. Do you make anything else?
KATSUO: [Sweating bullets] I uh… I like, um…
… Cookies…
Which means I bake them.
Because I like them.
EMIZU: [Fake shocked!] NO WAY! I like cookies too!
Gosh, Katsuo! We’ll get along just fine!
NATSUKA: You’re trying too hard.
EMIZU: Hahaha whaaaaat? Nuh-uhhhh!
[Whispers to Natsuka] Shush.
NATSUKA: [Rolls eyes] Ugh.
KATSUO: … I guess I-I’ll just uh, go. Over there. Bye.
Katsuo jogged over to a restaurant in the far corners of the food court. I almost felt bad for him. Almost.
EMIZU: … Aw.
NATSUKA: Well that was fun. Let’s get the worst part over with.
--
Emizu and I had walked to the plaza again, steeling every every conceivable nerve in my body for what was to come.
The store itself was dark, holding t-shirts and pop culture references swarming my eyes like a pack of angry hornets dead set on blinding me in the most painful way possible.
Looking above, in hope that it may be my mortal solace, I saw a bony figure in a baggy jumpsuit above me. It wore a catty smile, like some kind of trickster fairy who just swapped someone’s baby for an an animate pile of wood.
CATTY GUY: Hellooooo there~!
NATSUKA: GAH!!
I promptly staggered back, trying my damndest not to fall flat on the ground.
Upon closer inspection, he wasn’t floating, and was simply sitting on top of a shelf full of different novelty gadgets. They were all goth.
EMIZU: [Worried expression] A-are you okay?
CATTY GUY: … Well well fuckin’ well, jumpy aren’t we?
NATSUKA: Oh shut up.
CATTY GUY: [Lounges on top of cabinet] Sounds like you’re avoiding the question, my good bitch. Hihihi~!
What an obnoxious laugh…
NATSUKA: Eurgh- you’re… infuriating!
EMIZU: C-come on, Natsuka, we hafta introduce ourselves!
NATSUKA: No we don’t.
EMIZU: [Ignores Natsuka and turns to Kuukiko] U-uh, I’m Emizu Hoshino, Ultimate Bartender, what’s your n--
CATTY GUY: I won’t give you the satisfaction of asking! [Sticks his leg out] Kuukiko Kawami, baby! Ultimate Toxicologist till the day I die!
[KUUKIKO KAWAKAMI // TOXICOLOGIST]
EMIZU: Kuukiko? Isn’t that a feminine name?
KUUKIKO: Isn’t your name feminine?
EMIZU: … W-well, yeah, but I’m a girl!
KUUKIKO: [Looks at his nails. It’s obvious he bites them] Alright then, Taroudaiohikomasaru.
EMIZU: That’s not my name, that’s just a bunch of masculine characters you franken-said together!!
KUUKIKO: Reaaaally? I dunno, maybe that really is your name!
EMIZU: N-no it’s not!
NATSUKA: if this conversation continues for like five more seconds I swear to god I’m leaving.
KUUKIKO: Aw, leaving already? Are you………………………
…………………………………………….
NATSUKA: What are you do--
KUUKIKO: Peeeeeeeeeeved?
NATSUKA: I’m gonna kill him.
EMIZU: HAHA WE’RE GOING NOW! [Drags Natsuka out with her]
--
NATSUKA: [Crosses arms] …
EMIZU: … Well that wasn’t very pleasant.
NATSUKA: Just say it was shitty. It was like he was trying to be obnoxious.
EMIZU: I-I mean, he probs was… people, like, do that sometimes!
NATSUKA: Ugh, whatever, I think that he was the 16th one, counting us. Which means… we’re done, and we can spend the rest of our time figuring out why we’re here…
[Exhales] Fucking finally, I’m tired of meeting people-- honestly, I can’t see how this day could get any worse.
EMIZU: … I don’t think today’s been… that bad! Heh…
-
As if the universe was answering me, a familiar sound reverberated around the plaza.
[ding dong bing bong]
A school bell.
???: … Aheh, is this thing on?
A blunt force taps the microphone, as if checking it
???: Okay! There we are! The mall broadcast system is a-go!
I know ya can, but let’s just pretend I don’t know that-- can everyone hear me? Yup? Great! Now we can get this whole shabang on the road.
The lighthearted voice that came from the space above us drove into me like a piton in cold soil, the betrayal of a cautious aura was whiplash-inducing.
… What’s happening?
???: Okay okay, lovely capitalistic consumers of mine, make your way to the main plaza-- which is by the food court, if you didn’t know, come by or come die!
… Come by or come die?
EMIZU: U-uh… Natsuka, aren’t we in the main plaza?
NATSUKA: Yes, we are, what about it?
It was at that moment I heard what was probably the most cartoonish series of sound effects that had ever been conceived. I could easily imagine it in an American cartoon series about a mouse with iconic ears.
And then I turned around.
And there was a stage in the middle of the plaza.
NATSUKA: J-J-JESUS CHRIST-- WHERE’D THAT COME FROM!?
EMIZU: [Disbelief, scratches cheek] … Did-- did I eat some cheese before I slept??
My panic wasn’t soothed by the fact that a podium flipped itself onto the stage when we looked at it
NATSUKA: [Wipes sweat off of forehead] Uhhh? Wwwhhat? What?
Before I knew it, some of the other student I’d met had funnelled themselves into the room as well.
KIYOSHI: [Pushes up glasses, arms crossed] Well that’s… odd. I don’t remember that being here.
REN: Odd? That’s friggin’ crazy!
SHIORI: [Writing in her binder, mumbling like crazy]
AIKO: What the hell?? B-Bassy, you got any idea what’s going on?
TSUBASA: No clue.
AIKO: [Rolls her eyes, smirking] How astute.
OTA: THE FUCK IS THAT DOIN’ HERE!?
YUI: … Nna… calm yourselves… think cool thoughts, like sunglasses, or Marilyn Monroe… so cool…
KUUKIKO: Huh, I wonder if I made LSD by accident again… that was fun! Hihihi~
CHISHIKO: [Massages both temples, serene] Ohmmm… something tells me… [looks to Kuukiko] you should’ve died a long time ago…
KATSUO: Aheh… What??
ROUKI: … I don’t think I like this.
MIYAKO: Erm… has this object always been placed betwixt these stores?
ATSUKENNA: What in the unholy fuck?
DAICHI: UGAAAA!? WHAT AN INORDINATE AND UNFORTUNATE EVENT!! WHAT EVIL HATH MADE THIS?!
And everyone had arrived.
-
ATSUKENNA: Any of y’all individuals know why we’re s’posed to come here?
EMIZU: I kind of doubt it-- we’re all probably in the same boat!
DAICHI: Silly Maiden, WE ARE NOT IN A BOAT! We are in a MALL!
KIYOSHI: Does the neanderthal in the armor ever stop talking?
CHISHIKO: [Makes glasses with her fingers] I dunno! What about the neanderthal in the glasses?
REN: [Feigning offense] Hey, I have a name, y’know!
CHISHIKO: Wrong neand!
KATSUO: E-erm, is everyone… just, over the fact that there’s a stage. In the middle of the plaza. Are we past that.
KUUKIKO: HAH! I dunno, I’ve seen arms melt into bone! Some eldritch performance magic means nothing to me, shorty!
KATSUO: You’re short too.
KUUKIKO: I don’t have scene hair though, so I’m superior! Hihihi~!
???: Hey! None of you are superior to anyone!
… Well, except me, of course, I’m the most superior being that’s ever lived in the history of this God-Given Dimension!
Instantly, all of us went silence, from curiosity or shock. Our reasons varied.
ROUKI: Hey, you, with the pigtails, why did you make that... odd voice?
CHISHIKO: Ugh, my voice sounds nothing like that, if anything it was probably that sweaty narcissistic pigman over there~!
OTA: [Livid] MY VOICE CAN’T EVEN GO THAT HIGH! I GOT THAT MANLY ROAR, DUMBASS!
MIYAKO: I have the ability to mimic a voice similar to that, but I sincerely doubt I said those specific words… In fact, I was not even talking.
TSUBASA: [Obviously done] … It came from the sta--
KUUKIKO: Are we just gonna ignore the fact that the fatty over there just said he had a ‘manly roar?’ How low can you go!
OTA: HEY ASSHOLE! IF YOU WANNA FIGHT, I’M RIGHT THE FUCK HERE!!
KUUKIKO: Gonna hafta pass on that, sorry! I’d have no chance! Your body’s already got so much sweat on it that if I tried to land a hit, I’d just slip off! Hihihi~!
OTA: Y-YOU LITTLE--
R O O O O A A R R ! ! !
…
Our scuffles were cut off by the sound of a monstrous exclamation, coming from the stage…
And when our attention was caught, with another lighthearted sound effect, something else appeared on stage.
???: Oop! Sorry, I just thought I’d show you all what a real ‘manly roar’ sounds like, sampled from my own ancestors!
A bear. A stuffed bear.
Down the middle of its body, it was sectioned off into two parts, a white section and a black section, only ignoring it’s mouth and belly. It was around two to three feet tall, and wouldn’t be totally out of place in a child’s bedroom…
If it wasn’t for the fact that the eye on its darker section was red, glowing, and shaped like a corrupted lightning bolt.
EMIZU: …
KIYOSHI: …
OTA: … [Tugs on shirt]
EMIZU: [Under her breath] It’s… kinda cute…
REN: HAHA. WHAT.
???: … Wow. Tough crowd! Whatever, I’m sure I’ll win you over with my stunning handsome looks, or my wuvabwe pewshonawity!
KATSUO: Your… your what?
CHISHIKO: [Stern, hands on hips] Didn’t you hear? His wuvabwe pewshonawity~!
KUUKIKO: I should prob’ly have checked my ramen for hallucinogens… then again, it was still crunchy as ever, so who knows~!
KATSUO: Th-that’s not--
???: NO MORE GETTING OFF TOPIC! Seriously, if you march off this metaphorical path an INCH after this I’ll gungnir you into the next realm!!
KIYOSHI: What path are we even on? I can’t seem to find one…
???: … Oh yeaaaaaaaaaahhh…
The bear cleared his throat, gesturing to all of us like some kind of religious figure.
???: Welcome to This Bear Mall, everybody!
…
Despair. Despair Mall. Shut up.
ROUKI: Is it called that because of how dreadfully boring it is? The fashion here is… abhorrent.
AIKO: I’m right here!
ROUKI: The fact that you responded to that says more about you than me.
???: GUNGNIR.
Anyways-- My name is Monokuma! Don’t forget it, cuz you’ll be using it a lot! If you make it that long!
… If you make it that long?
OTA: Hey- the fuck you mean about ‘makin’ it that long?!’ Are we on some fuckin’ gameshow, cuz I don’t remember readin’ any contracts!!
CHISHIKO: Implying you can read.
REN: [Raises hand] I call first elimination!
MONOKUMA: Haha! Silly children, we’re not in a gameshow, we are in a game, though!
REN: … Am I in Saw??
KATSUO: W-was that a pun…??
TSUBASA: What kind of game? I didn’t sign up for anything like this.
MONOKUMA: Well I’ll tell you, it’s a very fun game! For me, at least-- not for you, no no not at all for you!
… Well, I guess that depends on the person, but I doubt it!
REN: Hey Monokuma, are you secretly some bald guy with a terminal illness?
NATSUKA: Quit your blabbering and get to the point, what “game” do you want us to play?
EMIZU: A-and, um, why are we here?
YUI: … When can we leave? Big sis is prolly real worried…
MONOKUMA: Well, to answer Ms. Sunshine's question, you’re all here to play the game! About the Delusional Narc's, though…
EMIZU: Emizu.
AIKO: Spit it out, I ordered a nail kit last week and it should be getting here today! I can’t miss that! That’d be like missing the birth of your own child!
KATSUO: … You can’t do that.
MONOKUMA: … Well… to answer her…
You’ll be staying here indefinitely-- aka, forever until further notice.
… I’ll be what?
AIKO: [Shifty-eyed, brings hand to mouth] …
TSUBASA: [Arms crossed] … What?
OTA: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT?! LET US OUT RIGHT NOW OR I’LL FUCK YOU UP!!
CHISHIKO: Oh, okay. Better than my other options, honestly!
KIYOSHI: …
REN: … Haha, no! Denial! I’m denying this! Self checkout’s not working! Nope! No!
YUI: W-w-wha’?? No, that can’t be right… t-th-that’s wrong…
NATSUKA: Y-you never answered my question! What is this “game” you keep talking about? Why are we being stuck here to play it!
MONOKUMA: [Hands on stomach] Well, lucky you, the game is actually your way out of this joint!
DAICHI: HAHAAA! BRILLIANT! BRETHREN, WE SHALL MAKE OUR ESCAPE, AND SOON!
AIKO: [Wipes sweat from brow] Ooohh thank God, I thought I was actually gonna be stuck here! What a thought!
TSUBASA: [Skeptical look] Aiks…
KUUKIKO: [Disinterested] Alright, so I don’t actually care, but what do we hafta do to get out?
MONOKUMA: … Well… we all like being peaceful around here, right, right? Peace is necessary for a healthy environment...
… So, what do you think would happen if someone disturbed that peace?
EMIZU: [Pumps fist] We scold them, of course!
MONOKUMA: Wrong! We throw ‘em out! If they cause too much chaos, they can’t be trusted in our little capitalistic paradise!
YUI: W-where are you going with this?
MONOKUMA: Oh, nowhere, but thinking along those lines…
… Killing another person would immediately get you out.
… I mean, unless you’re found out, then you die… same difference for if you guys don’t find them out.
…
……
……..
What did he say?
The entire plaza was silent, as if processing the lyrics to a ritualistic chant, realizing just how bloodthirsty the people who wrote it were.
“Kill someone if you want out. If you are found out: you die. If the innocent don’t find you out: they die.” Those were the rules of this “game”. Those were what we would follow.
The silence was deafening.
Until…
ATSUKENNA: NO! I AM NOT PARTICIPATING IN THIS FUCKERY!
MONOKUMA: Yes you are.
ATSUKENNA: I-I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY! YOUR SOCIETY IS FUCKED UP! YOUR GAME IS FUCKED UP! I’M REBELLING AGAINST IT!
MONOKUMA: No you’re not.
ATSUKENNA: Y-Y-YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I DO WHAT I WANT, AND WHAT I WANT TO DO IS NOT MURDER PEOPLE! LEMME GO BACK TO MY FAMILY!
MONOKUMA: I mean, if you kill someone, yeah. Maybe.
ATSUKENNA: I’M. NOT. PLAYING. THIS. GAME.
YOU WANT ME TO SPELL THAT SHIT IN BRAILLE? ENGLISH? SPANISH?! I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU DO, I-I’M NOT GONNA--
[shing]
It all happened so fast.
With another sound effect, a spike came barrelling out of the ground, and towards Atsukenna.
And then…
NATSUKA: …
YUI: …
ROUKI: …
…….
………..
……………
………………
MONOKUMA: You’re very lucky you haven’t broken any rules, Daisy.
Between her head and her shoulder was where the spike landed. A warning shot. No blood. No gore. Just fear. The quiet kind.
In between that fear was a barrage of colorful sound effects from below. The spike retracted itself back into the ground, leaving Atsukenna petrified.
ATSUKENNA: …
MONOKUMA: Well, now that that’s over, look at your feet! There’ll be a tablet there with a copy of all the rules!
I glanced downwards, where a small, black tablet with my name on it laid. I picked it up, pressing the on button.
NATSUKA HINO
The tablet flashed, Immediately showcasing a numbered list of rules.
---
- Unless otherwise specified, students will not leave Despair Mall.
- 10 pm. to 7 am. is designated as “Night Time.” The food court, the water, and various other rooms and appliances will be inaccessible during this time.
- Sleeping outside of dormitories during nighttime is not acceptable, though students are allowed to take siestas in Despair Mall during the day.
- Students are free to explore Despair Mall freely, unless otherwise specified.
- Any and all physical violence against Monokuma and surveillance systems will be punished severely.
- Anyone who kills another student will be given a chance to leave Despair Mall and given a fair trial. This trial is mandatory for all students.
- During the trial, if the guilty party is exposed, they alone shall be executed.
- If the guilty party isn’t exposed, they alone shall graduate, leaving the rest of the student body to execution.
---
As I clicked off the page, a new one greeted me with several tabs and applications that I didn’t pay attention to. My eyes refused to focus.
KIYOSHI: [Sweating bullets]… Why are you doing this, exactly? What’s your motive? Your reason?
No human person can be so awful as to do this with no reason. What’s yours?
MONOKUMA: [Lackadaisical] Sorry! You’ve gotta pay nine ninety-nine and your firstborn son to learn that juicy piece o’ backstory!
KIYOSHI: [Pushes up glasses] I-I see… I should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy to get an answer.
MONOKUMA: Yup! Any other questions?
Several voices spoke up.
MONOKUMA: Ask ‘em later! I’m always available!
… Except for right now. I’m beat!
Enjoy your Killing Game.
And with that, he was gone…
And I didn’t care. Time became a blue for who knows how long.
And after the blur passed,I walked away.
My body seemed to move without thinking. Rational thought had abandoned me, I only had emotions left.
God knows how much I loved those.
I felt a hand on my shoulder.
EMIZU: … W-where are you going?
NATSUKA: Bed.
EMIZU: Come on, y-you have to help us find an exit!
NATSUKA: … Why do you always have to be so optimistic?
There’s no happy ending here.
All of us are going to end up dead.
EMIZU: …
NATSUKA: … Me, you, everyone else…
We’re just victims waiting to happen. We all die.
The end.
There’s no point in trying to fight it.
EMIZU: [She looks like she’s about to cry.] …
…
……
…….
I turned to her, my brows lowered, not furrowed.
NATSUKA: … So just let me die. Like everyone else.
My shoulder was cold without her hand rested on it.
I try not to think about what she felt as I turned my back to her.
---
16 STUDENTS REMAIN.
CHAPTER 1, DAILY LIFE: OF MARTYRS AND DEVILS
START!!
