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‘’Kaneki, please.’’
A loud sigh echoed through the room. ‘’Hide no.’’
‘’Hide yes.’’
Hide knew that if he would only keep pushing Kaneki, the other would eventually give in. Kaneki tried to walk away from him, but Hide kept following him no matter where he was going. Safe for toilet breaks. Hide still had his limits.
This was going on for a couple of day now. Hide was aware of how annoying he was to the point that he was even bothersome to himself, but he had to do it.
‘’Just let me spar with you guys, like once a week or so. I’ll shut up for the rest of my life if you let me. Please, I’m begging you ‘Neki.’’ Hide grabbed Kaneki’s shoulders from behind and swung him back and forward. Kaneki was a tough one, but Hide knew that sooner or later he would get through his friend’s thick skin.
It had been three months since Hide joined Goat. Suddenly being included in a big group was something Hide had to get used to after five years of lonely isolation. The group was… nice. The only problem was that Hide had the idea that if he wasn’t the King’s best friend, the others would have spit on him like he was trash. He wasn’t a ghoul, or strong like the other humans that were working for Kaneki. Most of them didn’t want to have anything to do with him, only the small group of old colleagues and Touka, Tsukiyama and Hinami sometimes made some effort to search for contact.
It was fine, Hide was happy enough to be with his friend again. That Kaneki had welcomed him with open arms was something Hide thought would never happen. But after some weeks, Hide began to become annoyed that he wasn’t allowed to do anything. Kaneki still wanted Hide to stay out of it, and for the rest… they didn’t want to work with a ‘meagre human’.
He had heard them say that. Kaneki probably did too, and that’s why he kept Hide away from everything even more. He was scared that the others would hurt him in any way. Hide felt like a little child, being protected by Kaneki like he was made of porcelain.
That was why Hide had been going on about wanting to actually learn to fight. He wanted to become stronger, so that others wouldn’t look down on him anymore. Even more important, then Kaneki would see that Hide was capable of caring for himself.
‘’Hide, those guys are serious about it. They won’t hold back and you know that. This isn’t some playground.’’
This isn’t some playground his ass. This was another thing to prove that Kaneki didn’t trust Hide to be able to protect himself. He turned Kaneki around so the other was facing him. ‘’I can be serious too. I only want to try it. Trying never hurt anyone, right Kaneki?’’
Kaneki still looked hesitant. Hide wasn’t going to stumble back now.
‘’It’s too dangerous, Hide. I can’t let you go fight with the risk that something might happen. You’re just a human.’’
Honestly, they were running in circles now. The yes-no argument made Hide tired. ‘’Kaneki, you let the other humans fight as well. Even those little kids, Shio… Yuka..’’
‘’Shio, Yusa, and Rikai.’’ Kaneki completed Hide. ‘’Yeah, whatever. Those three are also allowed to practice with the big guys. So why am I the only one left out?’’
Kaneki looked at Hide like he was missing some big points. Hide waited for him to point them out. ‘’You know they’re trained by the CCG itself. They can fight, and they don’t get injured as easily as you do. Do you understand-‘’
‘’That’s a bullshit excuse, ‘Neki.’’ Hide wanted to pry everything out of Kaneki. ‘’I can also become as strong as they are, but you won’t let me, so tell me the real reason.’’
Frightened eyes looked up, begging Hide to stop asking him to say it and go on with life. ‘’It’s just too dangerous Hide, please stop this and-‘’
‘’Kaneki.’’
‘’It’s because of your leg! Are you satisfied now, Hide?’’
That was what Hide had wanted to hear. He went down with one hand to touch his right leg trough the material of his pants, feeling the hardness of his prosthetic leg that had replaced his real on from his thigh to his foot. He gave a small smile. Kaneki had looked so lost when he had first found out what had happened that day in the sewers. He still had a lot of difficulty with talking about it, but Hide didn’t mind. Losing a leg for his friend’s life was worth it.
Tears welled up in Kaneki’s eyes, small sobs escaping his lips. It was no fun to see Kaneki like this, blaming everything on himself. Hide had told him multiple times that it wasn’t Kaneki’s fault, since he had suggested helping his friend that one time. But having lived for most of his life with the motto ‘Better be hurt than hurt others’ had made him stubborn.
Hide tried to convince Kaneki that, he really didn’t mind. If Kaneki looked with a dark expression at his leg, Hide would say things like ‘’I’ve always found robotic limbs awesome!’’ or ‘’Maybe I could let it shoot lasers! That would be cool.’’ Kaneki’s chuckles were becoming louder as the time passed, now laughing if Hide made a silly comment like that.
He had gotten the funding from the CCG for the leg, and then went suddenly ‘missing’. Hide could pet himself on the shoulder for not being found yet. He still had gotten help from some people within the organisation, but the erasing his whole stuff was all done by himself. No one could give a care about some lost errand boy.
He took Kaneki in his arms, letting the other cry out on his chest. ‘’If you get hurt more, I’ll never be able to forgive myself.’’ His voice was soft. Hide chuckled, stroking Kaneki’s hair with one hand. ‘’You’re not even able to forgive yourself now, so that wouldn’t change anything right?’’
Maybe that comment was a bit too dark, but Hide had to make Kaneki look at what’s real.
‘’Kaneki, I’ve survived for five years with this leg, and I can last for some longer with it. Just please let me stand on my own two feet for once.’’ Or one foot, he thought.
Kaneki pushed Hide away a little, wiping away his tears. ‘’Okay then.’’ Kaneki had to push out those words with a lot of effort, and Hide appreciated it. He smiled widely and crushed Kaneki into a hug.
‘’H-hide… I- I can barely… breath.’’
‘’You’re the cutest king that this world knows. You know that right?’’ Hide loosened his grip around Kaneki so he was able to look at his face.
‘’I’m gonna pair you up with Touka-chan though.’’
‘’…What?’’
‘’Honestly… that was the most intense shit I’ve ever done.’’ Touka hadn’t hold back, just like he wanted. After two hours of trying to beat her, Hide was exhausted and felt like he didn’t want to do anything in his life anymore. Just lying down.
‘’I told you it would be heavy.’’ Kaneki leaned over the couch, hovering above Hide’s face. Hide had immediately fallen on the couch when he entered their room where Kaneki had been waiting for him. He was still panting and overly sweaty, but it felt good. Touka had even complimented him for holding out more than ten minutes.
‘’No you said it would be dangerous. But I still have one leg, two arms, and my head is still here. It wasn’t dangerous at all.’’
Kaneki hummed, going to the small kitchen and let the water run. ‘’You took long.’’
Hide sat up when Kaneki came back with a glass of water, gladly accepting it. Kaneki sat next to him, only putting a little distance between them. Hide gulped down the water. ‘’What? You thought I’d be back after ten minutes?’’
Kaneki’s silence made it clear that Hide was right about that. Kaneki wasn’t far off the truth, though. Hide had already wanted to give up after two minutes, but he couldn’t let himself stop. Ghouls were looking, taking everything they saw for their next gossips. He didn’t want to fail himself, let them see that he was a fighter. He wanted Kaneki to know that he was tough, that he could handle it.
Everything would hurt like hell tomorrow, but Hide could only smile to himself and look forward to it. The pain would remind him of his perseverance.
Kaneki balance himself on Hide’s shoulder with one hand and kissed his cheek. It made Hide heat up even more. Kaneki wasn’t one to take the first step. Hide gave Kaneki an questioning look, getting a smile back from the other.
‘’I’m proud of you.’’
That got the goofiest smile out of Hide. He knew how hard it was for Kaneki to let him go, but he did it anyway. Kaneki must’ve sat here while his nerves were eating him alive. Hide took Kaneki’s chin and kissed him properly. ‘’And I’m proud of you.’’
Their foreheads were touching each other. ‘’What for?’’
‘’For not barging into our practice and dragging me out of that place.’’
Kaneki did as if he was offended, shoving Hide away. It was a bit too hard, Hide clashing back against the other side of the couch. Kaneki startled by his own strength, crawling to Hide to see if he was okay. Hide pulled Kaneki’s face down when he was close enough, fitting their lips together.
Hide was still trying to figure out how this had happened. Maybe it was that all those pent up feelings were not blocked for once by both of them, opening up when they reunited. After a lot of tears, getting somewhere more private, and then crying again, Hide had looked at Kaneki and suddenly felt the urge to close the distance. And so he did. There was no rejection on Kaneki’s behalf, so it had worked out.
Hide didn’t even know before this that he had feelings like that for Kaneki. But when he thought more about it, maybe the fluttering feeling he got every time the other smiled in their earlier day was already a big hint. Maybe that was what’s called love.
Hide loved the way Kaneki sucked on his lower lip, hands gliding down to his shoulders. He loved these lazy make out sessions at noon. Most of these kind of kisses were shared at the break of dawn, but when they were awake enough to focus on more than only the light touches, they would always pull away when the smell of morning breath came to them.
That was why kisses at day were way better. Also because it mostly turned out to more than some shared kisses. So when their mouths began to open up and move together, Hide couldn’t help but put his hands on Kaneki’s back, lightly scratching down until he touched the other’s ass. And like always, Kaneki pulled away, glaring at Hide. Kaneki liked to pretend that he was not in the mood for anything, some hard to get act of his. But Hide would always get Kaneki to go further.
Hide leaned up, chasing Kaneki’s lips, missing and kissing all over his neck instead. Kaneki pushed Hide down, and Hide wiggled with his eyebrows. Kaneki sighed. ‘’Hide, not now.’’
When he wanted to ask why not, Kaneki answered him quickly. ‘’You seriously smell bad.’’ Hide barked out a laugh. He had forgotten that he was still sweaty. ‘’Isn’t this your typical young adult smell?’’ He pushed Kaneki down into one of his armpits.
He got knocked off the couch afterwards, but seeing Kaneki’s disgusted face was worth it. ‘’Please take a shower right now. And I’m never going to touch you if you’re ever doing that again.’’
‘’Meow, Kaneki-chan.’’
Kaneki walked to their bedroom, leaving Hide on the floor. ‘’Also do that never again.’’
Hide stayed there for a couple of minutes more before getting up and walking to the bathroom, leaving a trail of clothing behind him. Now that he was actually aware of his smell, he wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible.
He turned on the shower and began to take off his leg. The thing couldn’t handle water, so that was one of the two times Hide would take it off. When showering or sleeping. Even though he constantly reassured Kaneki that he was fine with his missing leg, Hide could never get used to the image and feeling of lightness when his leg wasn’t there.
He stumbled into the shower, sitting down on the little stool they had there. Leaning against the tile wall sucked after some time. Showers were for relaxation, not building some extra leg muscles.
Kaneki’s muted voice was audible through the door and sound of the shower. ‘’Hide, why do you always do this?!’’ He was definitely talking about the clothing Hide had left to be cleaned up by the other. The only reason why he wasn’t living at some dumping ground was Kaneki. Sometimes it was pretty annoying, getting scolded by him if he forgot to clean the dishes or get out the garbage. But then he thought where he would have been without his friend. The dump it is.
He cleaned himself all over and waited until everything was rinsed out before turning off the shower and getting up again. He realised that he had forgotten to bring a towel. So he whined for Kaneki, who came inside with exactly what he needed. Hide kissed his cheek, drying himself with the towel afterwards.
‘’Thank you very much your Majesty.’’
‘’Don’t call me that.’’
Hide sat on the counter, doing the rest of his drying op routine. He got his leg back on and wrapped the towel around his waist, exiting the steamy room in search for Kaneki.
‘’Don’t tell me you’re gonna hit the hay already.’’ Hide leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed. Kaneki lay in bed on top of the sheets. He turned his face to Hide, giving him a warry look. ‘’No, I was just waiting for you to finish.’’
Hide hummed and walked towards their closet, looking for something comfortable to wear. ‘’Well, I thought we could still watch anything that’s on tv right now, but I guess we’re not in for that plan anymore?’’ He let the towel fall, stepped into his boxers and put on some tee that was either his or Kaneki’s or maybe Ayato’s since he left his shirt here when he was sleeping over. That kid could argue about everything. Someone had to give Hinami an award for putting up with Ayato.
‘’I thought that you had other plans.’’ Hide grinned and began to take his leg off again when he sat down on the foot of the bed. ‘’And I thought you had made clear that I wasn’t allowed to touch you anymore.’’ He climbed onto the bed and lay next to Kaneki, taking him into his arms.
‘’Only if you were to ever push me again into that hell you call an armpit.’’ Kaneki made Hide laugh. ‘’Then may I get the privilege to lay my hands upon our king?’’
‘’Your proposition has been accepted.’’ Kaneki played along, immediately getting attacked by Hide. Even with one leg, he was still fast in his movements.
‘’Hey, Kaneki.’’ Hide said between the kisses he planted on the other’s jaw. ‘’How about me helping Hori-chan with some hacking stuff next?’’
‘’Never.’’
Slowly but surely, good times were becoming better. Even at times what Hide could call war, his life hadn’t been this great for a long time. He loved to wake up every day to start with something new. Now that he was allowed to actually do something, besides grocery shopping for the humans, he was even more excited for a new day to arrive.
There was some place for improvement when it came to his bonding with the group, but having at least one person caring for him was good enough for now.
He could say that he was happy. Maybe even overjoyed as he felt Kaneki fidget under him, asking for some attention.
It felt good to be home again.