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It’s a quiet evening for once. Yoongi and Hoseok took Jeongguk out for lamb skewers, Taehyung and Namjoon are in the studio putting the last touches on their festa special collaboration and Seokjin is meeting up with friends. The dorms are eerily quiet and Jimin feels strangely content. He’s tired but his tummy is full, he feels accomplished and although his friends are all busy, he knows that they’re all well and just one call away. His heart, the yearning beast, is quiet and satiated tonight.
He pulls out one of the books he never has time for and starts reading. The story is thrilling and he lets himself get lost in the vivid plot, so much so that he barely notices the sky get even darker and he jumps when there’s a knock at the door.
“Come in,” he calls and pushes his glasses up his nose. Namjoon pops his head in the room and smiles one of his soft dimpled smiles. Jimin loves that smile more than he could properly say. “Hey, hyung! Did you have a productive session?”
“We did. I just wanted to let you know the track is officially finished if you want to have a listen.”
Jimin’s dumb heartbeat picks up at that. He jumps to his feet, drops his glasses on top of his unfinished book and without a word, Namjoon leads the way to his studio. He leaves quietly when Jimin enters the room.
Taehyung is seated in one of the chairs, headphones on and eyes closed, focusing on the music. He’s mouthing the lyrics quietly to himself, a soft frown pulling his eyebrows slightly closer together. He’s sprawled in the seat, legs spread apart and hands loose against his thigh.
Jimin doesn’t sigh but it’s a close thing. A part of Jimin, a part that grows bigger and bigger with each passing day, will always find solace in the sight of Taehyung waiting for him somewhere. He smiles quietly to himself and goes to plop on Taehyung’s lap without any warning. He grins at Taehyung’s undignified squeak but he doesn’t miss the way Taehyung’s arm automatically close around Jimin and how they pull him just that much closer when he opens his eyes and realizes who’s sitting on top of him. He pulls the headphone down to his neck and pauses the song.
“Hi,” he smiles one of those smiles that make Jimin’s heart want to escape his ribcage. A smile so soft, intimate and welcoming that Jimin has always felt at home with Taehyung.
“All done?” He asks toying with the collar of Taehyung’s shirt to distract himself from his ever wandering thoughts.
“Yah, wanna listen?” And the words are casual, the tone quiet but there’s something so vulnerable in the depth of Taehyung’s eyes, something so uncertain in the hitch of his voice that Jimin’s heartbeat picks up again.
“Please,” he smiles and Taehyung transfers the headphones from his own head to Jimin’s who settles more comfortably on top of his best friend. He leans his head on his shoulders, closes his eyes and waits for the song to start.
Taehyung pulls one of the headphones aside and whispers, “It’s called 4 o’clock.”
Jimin nods and Taehyung replaces the headphone. Jimin waits for one, two three beats but still, the song doesn’t come. He can feel Taehyung sitting rigidly under him, nerves straightening his frame in an uncomfortable way. Jimin lets the fingers of his left hand dance down one of Taehyung’s arms until he reaches his hand. He interlaces their fingers and squeezes softly; letting him know he’s here and he’s got nothing to be afraid of, not with Jimin. Never with Jimin.
He feels Taehyung’s unsteady exhale more than he hears it and then he actually hears Taehyung exhale through his headphone and his heart clenches in his chest. Taehyung’s soft, deep voice echoes inside of him, calling him, overwhelming him at once and he shivers. Taehyung sounds so amazing; Jimin feels a lump forming in the back of his throat.
Jimin’s reaction to hearing Taehyung’s voice is instantaneous and intense. For some reason, he blushes and there are tears swimming behind his closed eyes.
“Oh, Taetae,” he sighs and pulls Taehyung’s arms tighter around him. Taehyung leans into him further, burying his nose in Jimin’s neck and breathes him in.
Jimin is completely lost to the world, surrounded by Taehyung’s steady warmth and the deep beauty of his voice. He can’t get over how great he sounds. Not that he wasn’t aware that Kim Taehyung was one of the greatest voices out there, but this songs was clearly made for his range, a stage built specifically to make him shine. Jimin has to swallow harshly to keep the tears from falling.
Namjoon’s verse comes in like a summer storm, sudden and intense and magnificent. Jimin doesn’t really pay attention to the lyrics, not during the first listen. Instead, he gets lost to the music, imagines himself dancing, flying, soaring to the melodies and the harmonies.
“Again,” he croaks when the song finishes and Taehyung obliges.
This time he focuses on the lyrics and if he thought he was emotional before it’s nothing compared to the mess the meaning of the song makes of him. The tears fall freely then and Jimin doesn’t even try to stop them. His mind is flooded with countless of memories, of the two of them, everywhere across the globe. Nights where everything seemed like too much except for the weight of Taehyung’s hand in his. Of dawns where his whole entire world could fit in the palm of his hand when he cupped Taehyung’s face while the other was sleeping. Of quiet morning on balconies overlooking strange cities, the sun shinning behind Taehyung’s head making him look as bright as he felt to Jimin. Of years of friendship, unconditional love and support. Of laughter and joys and heartaches and understanding. Of consistency and peace. Of quiet but powerful and transcending love.
Kim Taehyung has the kindest, softest and purest heart and Jimin can’t stand how much he loves him.
The song ends but Jimin isn’t done with it yet. He turns around, not caring that their new position can be called inappropriate. He needs to be as close to Taehyung as possible, so he straddles him, pulls his arms around his shoulders and buries his nose in his neck. He hugs him tight and presses play once again.
They stay like that for a long time. At some point Taehyung unplugs the headphones and the song plays through the speakers and Taehyung sings along quietly. Jimin’s heart feels heavy and bruised; he thinks he’ll probably never love anyone quite like he loves his best friend.
His soulmate.
When the song ends for the umpteenth time Taehyung turns the chair around to stop it. He leans back slightly and the look on his face is unbearable warm and fond. Understanding and accepting.
“Jiminie,” he says quietly and Jimin sigh. He sniffs loudly and makes a face trying to wipe the tears and snot from his blotched face.
“You’re amazing; Kim Taehyung and I hate you for it,” he says with a pout. Taehyung laughs. He brings one of his sleeves to Jimin’s face and slowly wipes away the remnant of his meltdown. When he’s done, he picks up Jimin’s hand and brings it to his chest. Jimin’s flattens his hand over his heart and his breath hitches when he feels how fast Tae’s heart is beating.
“I wrote it for you,” he says with an embarrassed laugh.
Jimin’s heart hiccups and his mouth falls open. “What?”
Taehyung shrugs and smiles. It’s a strange smile; self-deprecating, a little sad but terribly soft and so beautiful, Jimin can hardly breathe watching it spread across Taehyung’s face.
“Nothing would have been quite the same without you these last few years. You, um, you’re my peace. This song was about soft, peaceful and important things. You’re all of that. Um, for me.”
Jimin’s throat constricts with the force of his longing and the only thing he can think to do is to cup Taehyung’s face in his hands and lean his forehead against his. He closes his eyes and feels Taehyung’s eyelash flutters against his own cheeks as he does the same. Taehyung encircles Jimin’s wrists with his hands and sighs contently. They stay quiet for a while, just breathing together and committing this moment to memory.
“You’re my peace, too,” he says after a while and he doesn’t even recognize his own voice. Taehyung rubs his thumbs along the soft skin of Jimin’s wrists making him shiver.
Taehyung nods, opening his eyes and there’s relief but also determination and pride in them. “Good,” he says and pulls Jimin’s hands until his arms are around him again. There’s not much room for them to get closer but Taehyung shifts until there’s barely air passing between them.
“I really want to kiss you,” Jimin finally lets the words out and something cheeky and affectionate swims in Taehyung’s eyes.
“What a coincidence, I really want to kiss you, too,” he beams and Jimin’s heart lurches in his chest.
When their lips meet, it’s like every 4 o’clock they spent wrapped up in each other. It’s like every full moon they watched with their hands clasped together. Like every high note Taehyung hits and every dance move Jimin nails. It’s like every quiet confession they made to each other, young and afraid and ready to eat the whole world. It’s like every time Taehyung smiled at him and Jimin’s heart recognized it. It’s everything Jimin’s ever dreamed about and more.
Taehyung’s lips are soft and warm and perfect, the feeling of his tongue meeting Jimin’s is thrilling and overwhelming and his teeth are playful and enticing. He kisses Jimin like it’s the only thing he is meant to do with his life, like he’s been waiting years to be able to do this. Jimin’s heart can barely keep up with everything Taehyung is making him feel but he doesn’t want to pause, doesn’t want to take the time to catch up. He just wants to feel and remember this forever.
He wants to keep kissing Taehyung until they’re gray and old and he’s going to do everything he needs to do to ensure that he will. He wants to spend every 4 o’clock with Taehyung and Taehyung alone.
Somehow, Jimin ends up sprawled over the console and suddenly the song starts playing again. Taehyung pulls back and beams down at Jimin; shoulders shaking with silent laughter. He looks a mess; his hair is in complete disarray, his mouth his red, puffy and shiny, his pupils are dilated and his cheeks are flushed. He’s the most beautiful thing Jimin’s ever seen and as the Namjoon’s raps about Moonchild, Jimin makes a vow to keep cherishing the man above him for as long as possible.