Chapter Text
It was late, it was the night of the opening night party, and he and Lin were perched across from one another on stools. They were both bafflingly drunk and not a little bit sleepy. Vanessa had headed home earlier, had kissed Lin on the cheek, smiled and told him to have fun.
A few of the company had left, but most were still dancing and chatting and laughing. Chris had just made his rounds and hugged them both before he’d left. Jon was fairly content to just witness the pure joy that was emanating from Lin, how he buried his face in the shoulder of whoever it was that he was hugging, the twinkling in his eyes that seemed to have a direct line to his overfull heart, his huge and unrelenting grin, and the way he could not laugh without throwing his head back and knocking more strands of hair out of place.
Lin had both of his feet resting on Jon’s stool, and he was poking at Jon’s knee when suddenly he stopped and straightened up, “I want wine. Do you want wine?” Lin looks up and doesn’t give him any time to respond before he stands up, “I’ll get some wine, stay right here.” Lin squeezes his shoulder as he goes, and Jon watches him make his way toward the bar. He’d bought the suit he was wearing tonight specifically for this event, and Jon had to admit that it was well worth it. As his gaze wandered he smiled at the green Nikes that he was sporting. Those, too, were brand new, as evidenced from the story Lin had excitedly told him about getting his dress pants altered. (A story that had started with crinkly eyes and a, “ Groffsauce, guess what I did today! )
Jon imagines his face is fairly accurately portraying how gooey his insides feel as Lin walks back to him with their glasses of wine, because as Renee is passing by she takes one look at him, laughs, and pats him on the back before she leaves him to it.
Lin offers him his drink, “For my Groffsauce.” Jon’s heart feels like the incessant twinkling of Lin’s eyes is testing its limits to expand any further without bursting.
Daveed and Pippa come by and join their conversation for a while, until Pippa decides she needs another drink and Daveed is distracted by Anthony’s antics a few feet away. Jon and Lin finish their wine and set their glasses down on the nearby table, and suddenly the conversation dries up.
Lin is pulling at his own fingers, his eyes cast down to watch his hands fiddling. Jon’s drunken train of thought is caught on a loop of long, sweeping eyelashes , so he isn’t anticipating the abrupt eye contact that he’s caught in when Lin looks up at him. He’s so caught off guard, and so incredibly inebriated, that he doesn’t quite clock it when Lin’s face starts moving closer to his. He just kind of goes back to admiring this face that he thinks he’ll maybe never get tired of, almost doesn’t notice what Lin is trying to do until it’s nearly too late.
Jon grabs the back of Lin’s head and guides his face to rest smushed on his shoulder instead.
“Please don’t do that,” is what comes out of Jon’s mouth. Lin leans back and Jon can’t help but meet his eyes again. He knows it’s a mistake as soon as he does it.
“You were looking at me, I’m sorry,” is what comes out of Lin’s mouth. Jon runs a hand through his hair, his heart beating as fast as if he had been kissed by his happily married best friend in the middle of a goddamn party full of all of their closest friends.
“I can look at you, okay? Fuck. You can’t do that,” Jon snaps. “This isn’t my fault.”
The eyes that have been twinkling all night turn glassy and Jon has never felt worse about making the right choice in his life.
“I’m sorry,” Lin insists. Jon can’t stand it, pulls him into a hug and tucks Lin’s face back against his shoulder.
“It’s okay. You just can’t do that,” Jon repeated, slipping a hand underneath his jacket to pull him closer. “We can’t do that.”
They stood there like that for a long time. Lin was the one who finally stepped back. He looked considerably sobered.
“I think I’m gonna get a cab. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Jon sways and smiles, “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”